


Summer at the Pitch

by RileyChaser



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Humor, a little smut, a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2018-10-04 04:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 394,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10267826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileyChaser/pseuds/RileyChaser
Summary: Have you ever read a choose your own adventure book? This is a choose your own relationship story.This is a soccer store AU. Tobin, Meghan, Christen and Alex as well as other players are 18 and it's the summer before college.Tobin and Meghan are best friends, they have been since they were five years old. They both have scholarships to UNC, but they had to get summer jobs to save up some money before heading off to school. They take a job working the stock room at the local soccer store "The Pitch" where they are introduced to the front counter worker Christen and Tobin is instantly infatuated with her. After learning that Christen has feelings for Tobin, Kling makes up a plan to get them together, but fate might have other plans. Alex Morgan, the girl Tobin has liked since the eighth grade walks into the store and spins everything out of control.***The story starts off straight forward, then splits, making two different stories, one where Tobin chooses Alex, and one where Tobin chooses Christen. Be careful reading if you are reading for the first time, look at the chapters marked ALEX or CHRISTEN to follow your favorite couple, or follow both and learn the full story of Tobin Heath.***





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a chaptered fic. I hope everyone enjoys it. I really liked the idea of Tobin and Kling being best friends because their personalities seem to go extremely well together. I'll update as I get it all out of my head.
> 
> sorry for the mistakes, I didn't do my normal edit process, I might go back and sweep it up later, but its almost midnight and I have to work.
> 
> Thanks always for the love.

There it was the giant building they were going to spend the next three months in. Sandwiched between a dress shop and a coffee shop was a brick building with giant windows and a glass door with the words "The Pitch" across the front in bold black letters. It was staring them in the face. Just looking at them, taunting them, laughing at them in a way. Three months was a long time to a couple of eighteen year olds, especially ones with high energy who liked to run, and jump, and kick a ball into the back of a net. It was a lot for Tobin and Meghan but it was a means to an end and this is just what they had to do. At least it was a soccer store.

Tobin stood a good four inches taller than her best friend, she had her hat on backwards as per usual and plastic cup of coffee in her hand. She put the clear plastic straw in her mouth and took a huge drink of the iced coffee inside, before giving it a shake to let more of the drink settle to the bottom. 

Meghan shoved her hands in her pockets and tilted her head to the left. She was sizing up the store just as she sized up everything before making a move. Her shirt was a little too big and hung on her all wrong, plus it had that new shirt smell that was usually nice, but since it was a work shirt, it took the joy out of it. She huffed, quietly to herself first then loud enough for her best friend to hear.

“Well this sucks.” Meghan said letting out a huge breath of air. 

Tobin took another drink before answering. “Yep, big time.”

“I mean, maybe it won’t be so bad.” This was the optimism her mother told her to have. She paused for a second knowing that the positive attitude was not going to last. “Or it will be the worst thing that has ever happened to us.”

“That one… I’m going with that one.” Tobin drank the last of the iced coffee with a loud slurp and then threw the cup into the blue recycle bin next to them. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Let’s just stand, one more minute… for freedom.” 

Without looking down to her friend Tobin answered, “For freedom.”

It was the end of high school, the end of them being considered kids, though they never really did anything to be considered children since they were fourteen. While the rest of the school was out partying and drinking Meghan and Tobin were in the Heath families back yard kicking a blue and yellow ball around, or they were inside watching youtube videos of older women kicking a ball around. Since the moment they met each other in the first grade they were best friends. They liked all the same things, hated everything together and did everything together. Their mothers were good friends so the girls were signed up for peewee soccer and it had been all about the game ever since.

Tobin was tall with long skinny legs that carried her across the field like the wind. The moment her foot touched the ball she knew that was all she wanted to do. Her skills grew as she grew and she became the best midfielder in all the county. She had confidence in her game mostly because she could hear her best friend behind her screaming about how good she was doing, and if she ever lost the ball Meghan was always there to back her up and get it back.

The conventional glory in soccer was not something Meghan ever sought out. She wasn’t the type that needed to score and run around with her arms out wide like an airplane, though she would do that when she did score. No, it was the part where she could strip a ball from a cocky opponent that made her the happiest. The moment when a girl was running down the field headed straight for the goal looking confident and strong and she would cut them off take the ball and run it up the field, that was the exciting part of soccer to her. Tobin could have the goals and the amazing runs, she wanted to make the light die in a striker’s eyes when they did all that work just to be beat out by the shortest girl on the field. 

Together they took their high school team to the championships, together they won. Together they were approached by a scout from the University of North Carolina. Together the filled out the application and got accepted with full scholarships. Together they planned their new lives as roommates, where they could stay up all night and play soccer all day. Together their mothers told them to get a job and their thought of having the best summer died slowly. Together they applied for a job at the local soccer store and got jobs. And now together they were standing outside waiting to go in for their first day on the job. Together as always.

“Well?” Tobin asked waiting for her friend to make the first move.

Meghan took a deep breath and stomped her foot one good time against the had ground. “I am not happy with our moms.”

“Same.” Tobin laughed a little.

Tobin was as ‘go with the flow’ as a person could get. A lot of people took her nonchalant attitude as uncaring but that was the opposite of what she was. She cared about a lot of things, all the time. Sometimes things bothered her so much she would lose sleep over it. But she didn’t really express things like that with anyone, except Meghan who she lovingly referred to as Kling. 

It was Meghan who had no problem expressing how she felt out right. She had no issue voicing her opinion on every subject and telling whoever approached her how it was going to be. Most of the time she was a big goof ball and sweet, but when she got fired up, watch out. It was Meghan’s personality that let Tobin be so laid back. Most of her opinions were indeed the same thing Tobin thought, so why not let Meghan just express it for the both of them, that way Tobin didn’t have to talk, which meant she didn’t have to find the right words to say, which meant she didn’t have a chance to mess it up and make a fool out of herself. 

“We doing this or what?” Tobin asked quickly.

The fiery girl beside her crossed her arms. “I guess we really have no choice.”

“Then let’s do this.” Tobin grabbed her friend’s arm and dragged her forward into the store. 

It was time. They had three months to work before they could get on a plane and fly the 400 miles to their new home. Tobin had never moved in her life, she had always lived in the same house in the middle of a suburb of Trenton New Jersey since the day she was born. Meghan moved to Jersey when she was five from Pittsburg and her father never let her forget where she was born. She didn’t remember much about Pennsylvania except it was way better than Jersey. But soon they were going to take the long ride together to a state they only knew about because of soccer, and to a school where they would only have each other. But that was not the concern at the moment, right now they had to focus on this new job, and the tall blonde standing in front of them with a clip board.

“Ah, so you two are done standing outside looking at this place with dread?” It was their manager. 

Tobin smiled looking down at the tiled floor. “Uh yeah.”

Meghan decided it was better not to express what she was thinking in the moment. 

“Good. Now that you are inside we can get to work.” She was tall with short dirty blonde hair and high cheek bones. She looked like she could punch someone at any second, and that put a little fear into both of them. “I’m Ashlyn, I am your manager. Jill told me she hired the two of you for the summer. I get a lot of high schoolers looking for a summer job who think they can just sit around and slack off, but that’s not how I run the shop. If you expect to earn a paycheck you can expect to work.”

Meghan looked up at Tobin with wide eyes. This was the look she gave when she was ready to say something so Tobin kicked her in the side of the leg just enough to let her know this was not the time. Meghan let out a small gasp then pressed her lips together tight, as much as she wanted to say something Tobin was right, and they really needed this job.

“You are the morning crew so for the first two hours you will be doing inventory and setting up the shop. Every night the night crew cleans up the gear around, shags the balls from the floor and puts up the nets. Every morning before we open you two will set it all up again, put out the new merchandise. Sundays we take inventory of old stock. Monday we download the truck. Tuesdays is inventory of new stock. Wednesday is getting rid of super old stuff and things that haven’t sold. Thursdays and Fridays are your off days. Saturdays is cleaning. When the store opens we have someone for register and someone for the floor. You two will be helping and cleaning.”

“Uh, helping how exactly?” Tobin asked looking around at the store. 

“Whenever the floor person needs something from the back, that will be you two. Cleats, running shoes, balls, pads, clothes, anything like that will be your job to get. You’ll clean the bathrooms and any messes any customer makes. Do any of you know anything about soccer?”

Meghan looked over to her friend with a huge smile on her face then back to the manager. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Good, the customers will be trying on cleats and kicking the balls. You will help with that as well, monitor them and make sure they don’t hurt themselves. Same goes for any goalies that come in for gloves. They like have balls kicked or thrown at them so they can get a feel for the gloves.” 

Ashlyn turned around and started to walk. Tobin and Meghan gave each other an awkward look before following her. 

“You see, this is a specialty store, we don’t just sell them the gear, we make sure they are happy with it. Everything from shoe laces to jerseys. This business is built on the satisfaction of the customer.”

“The customer is always right” Meghan called out.

“Wrong.” Ashlyn said spinning around and stopping the girls in their tracks. “Sometimes the customer is dead wrong and they don’t know it. Your job is to lead them gently to the right choice.”

“What if they won’t be lead?” Meghan asked wide eyed.

“Then fuck’em, that’s on them, sell them what they want and move on.” She turned around and continued to walk.

Tobin looked over to Meghan who now had a huge smile on her face. They high fived gently as to not let Ashlyn know what they were doing. They were both thinking the same thing. If the boss was saying fuck’em then this wouldn’t be that bad of a job after all.

In the back Ashlyn showed them the stock room, it was huge and filled almost to the top with shoe boxes. The clothes rack was against the far wall and had every color jersey you could think of. To the right was everything else they sold in neat boxes on high wire shelves. Ashlyn took the next hour showing them where everything was and how the shelves were numbered. It seemed like and easy enough job; count the items write it down on the sheet and then put everything exactly where she said it should go. 

They had summer jobs before. They helped mow lawns with Tobin’s uncle one summer, and they both got so tan barely anyone recognized them at school. They also helped Meghan’s dad in the office for a summer, that one they hated, they were inside all day filing papers and making coffee. This summer they wanted to do more, and what better than working in a soccer store. This way they could see the latest gear, and at the end of the year Tobin was determined to buy a brand new pair of cleats for the start of university, Meghan wanted enough money to buy a big screen tv for their dorm room. Sure they would only be able to practice after work, but at least they could kick the ball around when they weren’t really working. It may have sucked to have a job, but as jobs went, this one seemed the best option. 

Ashlyn gave them the clipboard directed them to the start of the show boxes and left them to do their job as she went to her office to do some paper work.

“How many shoes do you think are in this place?” Meghan asked looking up at the tall shelves.

Tobin clicked the pen in her hand. “I don’t know; I guess we will know by the end of the day.”

She laughed at the thought of counting every box in the room. “So Ashlyn seems cool.”

Tobin had already started to write down the number on the first box. “Yeah she seems pretty chill, but also like she would go crazy on you if you did something wrong.”

“Nah, I don’t get the vibe from her.” The shorter girl grabbed a soccer ball from the bag of loose balls in the corner. “Did you see her arm; she has a full sleeve.”

“I didn’t notice.” Tobin said her eyes on the shoe box in front of her. 

“Yeah I bet she has to wear long sleeves because big boss Jill doesn’t like the tattoos.” Meghan juggled the ball on her knee a few times before catching it. “But tattoos mean she totally cool.”

Tobin laughed. “How do you know? We don’t know anyone with tattoos.”

“Exactly. We don’t know any one cool either.” She threw the ball and hit Tobin in the back and started to laugh.

That wasn’t far from the truth, they did not know anyone cool. They stuck to themselves in school, both of them studying all they could to get good grades. No one was going to give a soccer scholarship to a bunch of dummies. Every moment that wasn’t spent on soccer was spent on school. They would rush to one of their houses, rush through their school work so they could go out and play before it got dark. Neither of them were valedictorian, but they were good enough to look like a good deal for a university. 

They never hung out with anyone else, except the times the team would go out after a game, and even then they sat next to each other and went over the game while the rest of the girls talked about school and boys and whatever else they talked about. When there were parties, they would sometimes get the invite, but they would never go. A night eating popcorn and watching _Bend It Like Beckham_ was way better then standing around in a dark house drinking stale beer and throwing up on each other.

It had been about an hour and Tobin had finally forced Meghan to put the ball down and help her take inventory. The job was definitely boring, checking off the shoes on the list, writing down the ones that were on the shelves but not on the list and highlighting the ones missing from the shelves. But the job was easy and they could talk without losing concentration. 

“Did you watch the new highlight video USWNT put on youtube?” Meghan called out. She was a row up counting the boxes and checking them off.

Tobin shouted back to her. “Yeah I watched before I went to bed. That header Abby Wambach made at the end. That was the best.”

“That’ll be you one day Tobs.” Meghan said proudly. “You’re going to be sinking headers on the national team.”

“Yeah right, I need to work on my headers before I can be like Abby Wambach.” Tobin laughed. 

Meghan lit up with the idea. “Then that’s what we will do this summer, work on your headers and on my PK’s.”

“We need a goalie for that.”

“Do you think Alyssa would want to come out a few times?”

“I think she went on vacation with her family.”

Meghan tapped her pen on the clipboard. “Well I guess you’ll be the keeper this summer.”

Tobin let out a loud groan, she hated being keeper. They were interrupted by a loud knock coming from the front of the store. They both went to the end of their rows and watched Ashlyn disappear to the front of the store. 

“I wonder who that is.” Tobin said trying to look through the tiny window in the stock room door. “Maybe the other employees?”

“She said there were two more right? Register and floor?” Meghan asked not even trying to strain to look out the high window.

Tobin craned her neck in hopes of catching a glimpse of who was coming into the store. “Yeah that’s what she said. I can’t see who it is though.”

Before either of them could get a good look the stock room door was open and Ashlyn walked in with a girl behind her. Instantly Tobin was stopped in her thoughts. She watched the girl walk in like it was in slow motion. She watched the huge smile appear on her face. She watched her put her long curly hair up into a messy bun and then hook her thumbs in her belt loops. 

It was like she was hit by a truck. Her heart started to thump against her chest and her palms started to get sweaty, she had to grip hard to the pen to keep it from slipping from her hand. She couldn’t take her eyes off the girl standing in front of her, even though she was screaming in her head to look away her head just wouldn’t move. She was beautiful in a way that made everything else fade around her. She was tall and had lightly tanned skin, and her eyes, God were they green, or grey, maybe whatever they were they were beautiful and Tobin could not stop looking at them.

“This is Tobin and Meghan they will be the stock room and extra help for the summer.” Ashlyn told the girl. “Anything you need from back here, they will get it.”

“Cool.” The girl said, her voice was soft and smooth. She raised her hand and gave a little wave. “Hey, I’m Christen.”

Meghan instantly spoke up. “What’s up I’m Meghan.” She looked over to her friend who was supposed to say something too then she noticed the look on her face. That look she got when she was so focused on something that only a swift kick to the shin would snapped her out of it. So she did what she always did whenever Tobin went into full on concentration mode. “That’s Tobin.”

“Nice to meet you guys.” Christen said still with a huge smile on her face. “I’ll be up front if you need anything. I’ve worked here for a couple months now, I think I know what I am doing, well for the most part I do.”

Meghan laughed along with her then shot a look over to Tobin who still had the same look on her face. “Well yeah, I am sure we will be asking you a tone of questions later, right Tobin.” She looked over to her friend who was still in shock. “Right Tobin?” she threw her pen at her hitting her in the side of the head.

Tobin snapped out of her shock. “Hey, I’m Tobin.”

Christen giggled covering her mouth with her hand. “Well nice to meet you Tobin.” She turned to Ashlyn and smiled. “I’m going to get the front counter ready.”

“Good. These two will start setting up the practice area and then we can open up.” Ashlyn nodded to Meghan who nodded back. “All the equipment is over in the corner; you’ve got about thirty minutes to get it all set up. Do you know how to set up the net?”

“Yeah, we can do it.” Meghan answered knowing Tobin was not capable of using words.

Christen headed out the stock room and Ashlyn went back to her office. Meghan walked up to Tobin who was standing as still as pole with the clipboard griped tight in her hand.

“Hey Tobs.” The shorter girl called out waving her hand in front of her friends face. “You there?”

Tobin shook her head. “Yeah of course.” She batted the hand away.

“You sure, because you were not for like a good three minutes.” Meghan was laughing.

The shy girl gave her a push. “I’m fine, dude, let’s just finish up this inventory.”

“We need to set up the practice area.” Meghan told her. “Ashlyn literally just said that.”

“Yeah, uh I know that.” Tobin set her clipboard down and headed towards the gear in the corner.

This had happened before, the awestruck look Tobin had and Meghan had always covered for her. Tobin Heath was shy, and a little awkward and froze up around pretty girls. This was something Meghan knew all too well and always found a way to get Tobin through situations when a pretty girl spoke to her, and she had no way of responding. At school it was a forward on the team that Tobin seemed to go completely mute around, and Meghan was forced to talk for her. By the way her jaw was slightly dropped and her eyes fixed Meghan knew it would be the same thing for the next three months with this Christen girl. At least this one seemed to be pretty nice.

“So.” Meghan needed to approach the situation subtly. “She’s cute.”

Tobin had the net on her shoulder and the bag of balls in her left hand. “Who?” 

The happy girl scoffed. “Uh, Christen.”

She furled her eyebrows and slung the bag over her shoulder. “I didn’t notice.”

“You didn’t?” Meghan lowered her head and looked up through lowered eyebrows. “You didn’t notice Christen is cute?”

Tobin shook her head. “No. I mean I guess yeah she is.” Her nostrils flared a bit at the questioning. “Can we just get this done.”

It was time to back off the situation. “Okay, yeah, let’s go set up.”

Since they had known each other Tobin had a crush on exactly two people: Melissa Tancredi from the Canadian Women’s Soccer team who scared the crap out of Meghan, and a beautiful forward named Alex from their high school team. Tancredi was an easy one for Tobin to admit to, she was six years older than them, lived in another country, and was out of Tobin’s league, but admitting to liking Alex took Meghan a good four months of prying to get Tobin to admit to. 

The thing of it was, Tobin was really great. She was smart and funny when she could actually talk. She was laid back and cool with almost everything. Not to mention she was nice to look at, as Meghan once put it when she was trying to boost her confidence. She had long brown hair that she mostly kept tied up or pushed back and buried in a backwards snap back. She was tall but not too tall with tanned skin from being outside all day, light brown eyes that were almost hazel in the right light. Tobin thought of herself as plain, but never ugly or anything. She was more focused on practicing her corner kick then she was in doing make up. She always wore a t-shirt and jeans, expect when her mother would force her to wear something nice for church. If she had to call herself anything she would describe herself as athletic. As far as she was concerned it didn’t matter, she wasn’t interested in being in a relationship, she was interested in playing soccer for a university and then for the NWSL and even the national team, looking pretty was not part of that. 

They both walked out of the stock room toting equipment and headed over to the practice area. The store was set up in sections. One was for cleats and running shoes, next to that was jerseys and other uniform gear, then casual practice clothes. The other side had soccer balls and other gear like shine pads and keeper gloves and other things a player would need. In the back was a practice area with a net and fake grass set up for people to try out their gear. The net was taken down every night for, as Ashlyn explained, no reason at all besides the manager telling her too. The balls were set out and checked for pressure. The grass was inspected to make sure everything was in place. A machine was set up to see how fast and hard your kick was, and targets where laid out for accuracy training. There were two practice areas on either side of the store set up exactly the same. The funny things was Tobin had been in the store a million times, sometimes to just look at the new Nikes that she wanted, she had never known how much went into setting it up.

Meghan who was way better with computers was setting up the machine as Tobin set up the net. She was pushing buttons and pretending she was doing way more than she actually needed to do as she watched Tobin hook each loop of the net into a hook occasionally looking up to Christen who was at the register checking off items on a list. Meghan studied her friend trying to gauge her level of awareness of her whole situation, when she decided that Tobin was oblivious to her new feelings towards the new girl in their lives.

“You done?” Meghan asked watching Tobin squeeze a ball between her hands.

“Yeah, all this is good.” She said dropping the ball then kicking it into the net. 

Meghan kicked the other ball that was sitting out to Tobin and watched her kick it into the net. “Sweet, let’s go set up the other side.”

They took the gear to the other side and repeated everything they did just a few minutes ago only this time Christen came over to talk to them. She had on the same maroon work shirt they had on, and a pair of form fitting light blue jeans and black converse. 

“How’s it going?” she asked sweetly.

Tobin looked up and blinked like a deer caught in the headlights. 

It was time for Meghan to step in. “Pretty good so far.”

“You guys are really good at that. The last team that set up was really awful.” She laughed a bit, her laugh high and innocent. “They were good guys, but they sucked at their job.”

“Well we do this almost every day.” Meghan told her with a proud smile on her face. 

“Are you guys soccer players?” Christen looked excited by the question.

Casually Meghan told her. “Yeah, I’m a defender, and Tobin there is a midfielder.” 

“That is so cool.” She did a little jump. “I am so glad you guys play soccer too. The last two guys had no idea what they were talking about and it was the worst.”

“Oh you play?” Meghan was fielding all the conversation as she always did.

Christen tucked her thumbs in her belt loops. “Yeah I play forward. I played for my high school. My parents moved out here a few months ago for my dad’s job. I finished high school a semester early so I’ve just been working here, trying not to go out of my mind before I go to college.”

“Hey that’s why we are here.” Meghan called out, kicking a ball gently over to Tobin and giving her a stern look. “Our moms made us get jobs for the summer before we go to UNC.”

“Shut up.” Christen called out.

Meghan looked back at Tobin as if to ask what was up, before she gave Christen a confused look.

“You two are not going to UNC.” Christen had cupped her hands around her mouth in excitement.

“Uh, yeah we are.” Meghan answered laughing a bit.

Christen reached out and pushed her shoulder. “Shut up, like the University of North Carolina?”

“Yeah.” Meghan said.

“At Chapel Hill?”

The shorter girl was now shaking her head in confusion. “Uh, yeah?”

“Me too.” She pointed to herself and sported the biggest smile in the world.

“No freaking way.” Meghan called out. “You are seriously going to UNC? Holy crap what are the odds.”

“I don’t know that’s so insane.”

Meghan turned to her friend who was still silent throughout this entire exchange. “Tobs, did you hear that dude? Christen in going to UNC with us, we are going to be teammates. Isn’t that insane.”

Tobin adjusted her hat on her head then shoved her hands in her front pockets. “Uh-yeah.” She managed to get out.

“Sound a little more excited will you. It won’t just be me and you out there.” Meghan laughed. 

“I’m excited.” Tobin said with a slight smile on her face.

“Whatever, she sucks.” Meghan told Christen playfully. “So who’s you NWSL team?”

“Chicago Red Stars.” Christen said with a smile.

“Boooo, Portland Thorns.” Meghan called out.

The two of them started to walk towards the front of the store discussing players and stats of the teams. Tobin remained in the practice area looping the final hooks on the net and pumping up a few of the balls. She watched as Christen and her friend leaned on the front counter and talked, both of them chuckling every few seconds. 

Meghan had always been like that, making people laugh and having conversations easily with strangers. Her entire life she had always been the smallest and she made up for that by being one of the friendliest people on the planet. She talked to everyone about anything, but she never really went off with any of them. She was technically friends with everyone at school, but she was Tobin’s best friend and they always hung out together no matter what. This was the first time Tobin was left in the back ground.

It wasn’t that Tobin had an issue speaking to people. She could talk, she just didn’t like to. She was better at texting, when she had time to think about her response before she said it. She was great at talking about soccer, that she could respond to quickly. So why wasn’t she over there talking about The Thorns vs The Red Stars and comparing players, this was the one thing she had no issue talking about. Why did she have such an issue talking to Christen? She was a soccer player, and she could talk to soccer players.

Meghan was explaining to Christen her view on the field from the backline when Tobin walked up to them and stood with her hands shoved as deep as she could get them into her pockets. She looked at her friend who was a foot away from the desk. She knew the nervous look Tobin had on her face, she had seen it before, and as Tobin Heath’s best friend it was her job to make it better. 

“Hey Tobs I was just telling her about that killer goal you had in the champion ship.” Meghan said hoping to would make Tobin feel less awkward and get her to talk. “You weren’t even in the penalty area and you fired it in.”

This was it, her chance to speak up, this was something she knew about, she and Kling had gone over this goal a million times, she knew what to say. “Uh-yeah it was pretty crazy.”

“So you’re an attacking midfielder?” Christen asked with a sweet smile on her face. 

Tobin nodded her head. 

“That’s so cool. I played midfield a bit in youth league but I am way better up front.” 

Her smile was nice, and her eyes were really green. Tobin watched her mouth move when she said words. She had nice teeth, they were really white. And her skin looked soft, like super soft. _Shit_ , she had to snap out of this and use words again.

“Yeah it’s a lot of work.” Tobin said quickly. 

Meghan caught her friend searching for words to say and stepped in. “It’s easy when she knows I’m behind her cleaning up all the time.”

Christen started to laugh. Tobin watched her head lower a bit at the joke. She had a nice laugh, and nice hair, it was kind of curly but not crazy curly, just like slight waves. She had nice ears, Tobin thought, then she thought about why she was staring at her ear. 

“I don’t lose the ball that much.” Tobin responded trying to push her hands further into her pockets. “I really don’t.”

“No worries Tobs, she knows I am joking.” Meghan told her.

Christen chimed in. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have a full ride if you lost the ball all the time.” 

“Hey.” The excited girl reached over and slapped Tobin’s arm. “Christen has a full ride too, that means she is going to be just like us, living and breathing the game.”

Tobin suddenly felt like anxious. “I do other things too.” She said without thinking.

It was Meghan’s time to be confused. “Like what?”

Was it sad that she had to actually think of things she did outside of soccer? She quickly thought of another activity that would make her sound a little less like a soccer machine. “I read.”

“Uh Abby Wambach biography still counts as soccer dude.” Meghan laughed.

Christen was laughing with her. “It’s okay Tobin, I don’t really do a lot outside of soccer either.”

Tobin lowered her head, thoroughly embarrassed now. “Yeah.”

Before the conversation could continue a knock at the door came. It was a boy standing at the window with a maroon work shirt on. She waved to Christen with a big smile on his face. Christen ran over and unlocked the door letting him in and talking to him for a second before they headed over. 

“That must be the guy who does the floor.” Meghan told Tobin.

Tobin shot her and angry look in return. 

“What’s up with you?” Meghan asked, but before her friend could answer the two were on them and talking. 

“So this is Meghan and Tobin.” Christen said pointing at each of them as she said their names. 

“Hey I’m Josmer.” The boy was tall with closely cropped black hair and dark skin. He had a huge friendly smile on his face and looked like that smile was probably always there. “I hope you two like soccer.”

Christen pushed his shoulder playfully. “Jozy, they are soccer players. They are both going to UNC.”

“Oh no way that’s so crazy.” He said looking as excited as Christen was. 

“This guy is a loser he’s going to Duke next year.” Christen pretending to stick her finger down her throat and throw up.

“Wo woman, don’t knock the blue devils.” He joked. “Just because I don’t want to be a Tar Heel, whatever that is.”

“A Tar Heel is a winner.” Meghan said quickly.

“Oh.” Christen said cupping her hand over her mouth to make her voice louder. She put her hand up and gave Meghan a high five and they laughed together. 

Jozy started to laugh with them. “I see how it is. Okay I’m going to be ganged up on these next few months.”

“You pick a school like Duke and you can automatically assume you are going to be made fun of.” Meghan was quick the comebacks. 

Christen lowered her hand and gave Meghan and low five while still laughing at Jozy. “Oh yeah I love this girl.”

“Well I am glad we all love each other.” Ashlyn was walking towards the group. “Are we ready to open up?”

Christen was still getting her laugh under control. “Yeah, we are ready.”

Ashlyn nodded her head. “Then you two can go ahead and get back to inventory.” She pointed at Meghan and Tobin. “And Christen, you can clean the front window until we get customers.” She headed towards the door jingling the keys in her hand. “Jozy you can check the bathrooms, and that’s for even thinking Duke is better than UNC.”

The group started to crack up, Christen slapping Jozy’s shoulder as he protested defending his team. Everyone was having a good laugh except Tobin, who headed back to the stock room. She grabbed her clipboard and started to take inventory.

Meghan followed Christen to the back so she could get the window cleaning supplies. “So do you know what dorm you are staying at yet?” she asked as the made their way into the stock room.

“No, they said I would get a package a month or so before school starts.” Christen went to the sink in the back room.

“Yeah we don’t either. Tobs and I are going to be roommates though.”

“See you two are so lucky. I hope I don’t get stuck with some weirdo.” She told her while she grabbed the bottle of spray.

“Maybe it’ll be another soccer player.” Meghan told her as she leaned against the wall. “I mean they usually put the team together, right?”

“That’s true.” She took a roll of brown paper towels from the supply shelf. “Well I better go clean the windows before Ashlyn get’s on me.”

“Yeah I have to count shoes.” Meghan giggled.

Christen pointed up to a black box on the ceiling. “That’s the intercom. Jozy and I have headsets and if we need anything we will call on that and one of you can bring it out if you’re back here.”

“Cool, cool, cool.” Meghan said. “You’re like to voice of God.”

“I’ll make sure to say mysterious and cryptic things all day.”

“Perfect.”

They both chucked again and Christen headed out of the stock room.

Meghan picked up her clipboard. “So she is freaking awesome.”

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, I guess.”

“What’s the deal dude?” She asked tossing her pen at the sulking girl. “Christen is the tits.”

Tobin shot her a look after the pen hit her in the temple. “Nothing I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Meghan said moving closer and picking up her pen. “I know when something is bothering you. Come on, tell me.”

“Kling, chill I’m fine.” Tobin told her. “I just want to get this work done before we leave.”

Even though she knew she wasn’t okay it was better if she left it alone. Whatever was bothering Tobin she wasn’t ready to share it, and trying to pry it out was only going to make her more upset, so she just went back to work.

Tobin had been upset with Meghan a few times before. In the ninth grade they were supposed to take French together, but Meghan put Spanish on her schedule thinking it was not a big deal, but the classes were at the same time and it was the one period in school that determined lunch effectively separating them. Of course she didn’t mean to do it, she just didn’t want to take French. Tobin was pissed at her for weeks, and it was understandable, she had to eat lunch by herself. Well she wasn’t by herself, she was with a few other girls from the team, but she didn’t really know them and she had no idea how to talk to them. She basically sat in their general area so she wouldn’t look like and outcast, but she felt like one. The fight was so hard on Meghan she switched her class and took French, stating she had meant to take that in the first place. She hated French, she struggled in French, but she didn’t want Tobin to be mad at her anymore.

In all the times they were friends, Tobin was always the quiet one, passive aggressive to a fault. It was always up to Meghan to recognize when there was an issue and how to go about fixing it. Sometimes it was hard and sometimes it was easier because of the years of experience. All in all, the last thirteen years, it had been only them two, Tobin “Tobs” Heath and Meghan “Kling” Klingenberg against the world. No one had ever added themselves into the duo, how could they, it wouldn’t be a duo anymore. So something was bothering Tobin and Meghan wanted to know, but she had to let it rest for now. Sometimes her best friend just needed to figure things out in her head before she could talk.

The first half of the day went by pretty quickly, they finished the shoes and started on the jerseys. Meghan was making small talk throughout the day and Tobin would respond but it wasn’t the same as she usually did, she was more muted and short with her responses, but it wasn’t time to push it. Before they knew it, it was time for their lunch break. Ashlyn had them stagger it so someone was always in the back room. Tobin took hers first, heading to the coffee shop beside the store and having a scone and an iced coffee. Meghan took hers next, it just so happened to be the same time Christen normally took hers so they went together.

“Where do you normally eat?” Meghan asked as she and Christen as she got her stuff together at the front.

“The sandwich shop down the street is awesome.” She responded.

“Joes?” Meghan jumped up with enthusiasm.

“I take it you like Joe’s.” she said with a grin.

Meghan pretended to act cool. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“You and I are going to be best friends.” Christen said grabbing Meghan’s arm and hooking it in hers. 

Tobin looked up when she heard Christen talking and looked over to Meghan who just smiled and made some kind of joke.

As the two left the store and Meghan looked through the window and smiled at Tobin, who didn’t smile back. 

“Something is going on with her.” Meghan said under her breath.

“With who, Tobin?” Christen asked.

Meghan looked over to her, she didn’t notice she spoke so loudly. “Uh yeah, I mean don’t get me wrong Tobin is always a little weird, I mean she is really shy and quite, but today it different.”

“It’s a new job, and new people.” Christen told her.

“Yeah I know, she is just extra nervous today.” Meghan said changing her mood quickly. “She and I didn’t want to work this summer. We wanted to work on our game and get ready for UNC, but our moms told us they were not giving us any money this summer so we had better get a summer jobs.”

Christen let out a laugh. “Sounds like my mom.” 

“I’m just glad we are together.” Meghan responded.

Christen tucked her fingers into her belt loops and bit her bottom lip. “Uh, so are you two like together, together, or like...”

“What? No!” the short haired girl started to laugh. “God no, I mean no defiantly not. I love Tobin, but not like that.”

Christen giggled at the energetic girl’s reaction. “Sorry I just thought maybe…”

“Oh No.” she shook her head and waved her arms in front of her face. “Tobin and I are best friends, like ride or die best friends but we are not romantically into each other at all, even a little bit. I mean she is, and I am, but we are not together.”

“What does that mean?”

“She’s gay and so am I, but we are not gay together.” She laughed and smashed her hands together then pulled them apart really quickly.

They got into the sandwich shop and ordered their food before sitting down in a booth. Meghan toyed with the paper from her straw, now feeling a little awkward after the weird line of questioning.

“I am too.” Christen said quietly. “So you know.”

Meghan looked up from her paper. “You are what?”

“Gay.” Christen said in a low tone.

“Oh.” Meghan said. She took a drink from her cup chewing on the straw for a second. “That’s cool.”

Christen was now feeling a little awkward. “So if you two are not together… Do you two have girlfriends?”

Meghan scoffed. “Yeah right. Tobin Heath talk to a girl, get real.”

She laughed a bit the tension easing between them. “Is she that shy?”

“Oh yeah.” Meghan told her. “She gets all nervous and weird when she likes a girl. I don’t know, it’s just Tobin. The things is, she is super awesome when you get to know her. She is smart and funny and probably the most casual person in the history of casual.”

“And she’s really cute.” Christen said quickly.

“Exactly.” Meghan agreed with her. “I keep trying to tell her that, but she doesn’t believe me. That girl is a mystery. If it’s not soccer she has no interest. Lucky for her she is like the best player I have ever seen.”

“Yeah I know she is really great on the ball.”

“I know, her dribbling skills are out of this world…” Meghan looked up at her. “Wait, how do you know? You’ve never seen her play.”

Christen lowered her head. “Can I confess something to you?”

Curiously Meghan leaned forward. “Yeah of course.”

“I know who you two are.” She said embarrassed. “I watched you two play all last season. I had nothing to do so I went to the local high school’s soccer games. I’ve seen you two play. I’ve watched Tobin, and she is absolutely amazing.”

“Are you stalking us?” Meghan asked quickly her eyes squinted and her voice lowered.

“No.” Christen giggled nervously. “No I didn’t know who you ‘were’ just who you were. I’ve been watching her, but not in a weird way, in a curious way. I asked a few people in the stands who she was and they told me her name. I looked her up on Facebook, but all her photos are with you so I thought you two were dating. I didn’t know you two were the local hires until I saw you in the stock room and I felt weird saying ‘hey Tobin I watched you play that game against Jefferson and you kicked ass’ because no normal person does that.”

“Oh my God.” A smile creeped on Meghan’s face. “You like Tobin.”

“What? No.” She lowered her head and pretended to be interested in the napkin holder. 

Meghan sat back in her chair. “Yes you do, you like Tobin Heath. You said she was cute, you remember a specific game she played. You facebooked her. You asked me nonchalantly if we were together. You like Tobin Heath.”

Christen quickly sat up. “Okay I have a little crush on her, but that’s it.”

“Holy crap, I can’t believe this.” Meghan took a long drink from her cup. “You like Tobin.”

Christen covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God this is so embarrassing. I never thought I’d actually meet her. I have seen her in the store a few times, she looks at the Nike Hypervenom Phantoms all the time.”

“You know what boots she likes?”

“Okay this is making me sound like a stalker.” Christen leaned back in the chair pressing her back as hard as she could into the soft padding. “I am not stalking her, I just notice her, but she’s never noticed me. I used to work the stock room and there were two guys who worked the front counter.”

“But you noticed the cleats she wants?”

“You’re making me sound crazy.” Christen pointed at her trying to be serious but she had a smile on her face. “I just watched her play and thought she was amazing. Then I saw her in the store buying shin pads. Then I saw her play again. Then I saw her staring at cleats.”

“And you facebooked her.”

“Yes, just to see if I should talk to her, because she’s so cute.” She paused for a minute. “But like I said, her photos that are not private are all with you.” 

“You like Tobin Heath.”

“Will you stop saying her full name like that.”

Meghan laughed a bit. “Sorry I am just trying to process this.” She took a second to breathe. “Tobin is awesome like I said, but I have never met someone who had a crush on her, at least no one has ever said anything to me.”

“Well I am saying something to you.” Christen said quickly. “But can’t say anything to her. We are friends now, we have bonded over soccer and our love of vegan ice cream.”

Meghan put her hands behind her head. “Ah, what why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.” 

The food was brought to them and they both started to eat their sandwiches. 

“Besides Tobin has no interest in me.”

Meghan was mid bite. “What do you mean?”

“She barely even spoke to me this morning and you’ve brought all the items from the back.” 

Now nervous, she swallowed hard. Meghan knew why Tobin didn’t say anything to Christen, because she thought she was hot and Tobin didn’t know how to speak when she thought someone was hot. But Tobin was her best friend and there was no way she could tell Christen this. Now she was friends with Christen and there was no way she could tell Tobin that Christen had been kind of stalking her because she thought she was cute. 

Meghan took another huge bite of her sandwich and tried not to look nervous. “Don’t worry I won’t say anything to her.”

The conversation switched to soccer and the university for the rest of the meal. They went back to the store and Christen took over the floor as Jozy went for his lunch. Meghan went back to the stock room as saw Tobin had made her way through the jerseys and was now going through the pads.

“How was lunch.” Tobin asked with a slight attitude.

“Interesting.” Meghan said trying not to scream the new secrets she had learned. “Christen is really cool. You should talk to her.”

“I bet.” Tobin commented.

Meghan sensed the same attitude Tobin had before. “What is going on Tobs?”

“Nothing.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m just…” she paused for a second not really sure how to admit this. “I’m a little jealous.”

“Of Christen?” Meghan questioned.

Tobin looked around to make sure no one was listening. “Of you.”

“Huh?”

“How you can just talk and not be all weird. I wish I could make friends like that.” Tobin wasn’t making eye contact with her best friend as she spoke. She wasn’t good with admitting her feelings even if it was Kling she was talking to.

“Tobs, dude. I keep telling you that you are awesome.” She put her arm around her shoulder. “You just have to have confidence in yourself. Like how you are on the field, except out there with her.”

“I’m trying.” Tobin said sadly giving her a puppy dog look.

Meghan slapped her on the shoulder. “You should talk to Christen, she is super casual.”

“Yeah? It would be cool to be her friend.”

“Her friend?”

Tobin gave her a weird look. “Well yeah, we are going to be teammates it would be nice to be friends too.”

“Just friends.” Meghan said her eyebrows knitted together.

“Yeah.” Tobin said with a smile. “Maybe I can try talking to her after work.”

Now Meghan knew the real extent of it, Tobin defiantly liked Christen. Not once in their entire life together had Tobin ever ‘wanted to be someone’s friend.’ She didn’t really care about other people. Even with the girl she had a crush on, she didn’t want to be her friend, she just watched her from afar and talked about her a few times. This was going to be hard. 

They day went by quickly after Tobin had lightened up a bit. They finished inventory with a few minutes to spare, so they went out to the floor and walked around until the night shift came to the store. 

“Hey.” It was Christen talking to Tobin as she looked up at the Nikes on the high shelf. “Those are so cool.”

“And expensive.” Tobin said with ease before she noticed it was Christen she was talking to. She shoved her hands in her pockets. “Um, uh… what uh… what boots do you wear?”

Christen gave her a warm smile. “Adidas mainly, but Nike has been growing on me. I’ve tried on a few pairs here and kicked a couple of balls. I like the feel on my toes.”

“Yeah?” was all Tobin could get out.

Christen lowered her head and smiled. “Yeah I was thinking of maybe making a switch for college.”

“Yeah.” Tobin repeated.

“I guess you’re a Nike girl?” 

“Uh-yeah.” Tobin said again, mentally beating herself up for not thinking of a different word.

Meghan stood back and watched them have their awkward exchange. Jozy came up behind her and started to watch with her. 

“You know Christen is like obsessed with your girl, right?” Jozy said casually.

Meghan looked over to him. “What?”

“Yeah she watched her play, then saw her in the store.” His voice was calm as if they were talking about the weather. “She talks about her all the time. Hides in the back when she sees her come in.”

“Jees.” Meghan let out a breath and crossed her arms. “She told me at lunch she liked her.”

“I mean she is not going to single white female her or anything. She just likes her.”

“I’m not worried about Christen, I am worried about Tobin.” Meghan told him. “She will never notice it, and never make a move, and I can’t tell Christen because that’s breaking best friend code.”

“You just told me.”

“Yeah but you don’t count Jozy.” She said quickly, then punched him in the shoulder. “You don’t say anything either though.”

“Oh I don’t care.” He said with a laugh. “I just like watching Christen struggle to make a move. She’s been trying to talk to her for like two months. I thought it was funny the two of you were the summer hires. I’m here to laugh, not get into it.”

“Then why’d you tell me she liked her?”

“Because I thought you should know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s going to be an interesting three months. Those two awkward fools are my new source of work entertainment.”

“Thanks Jozy.”

Before they could say anything else Ashlyn called for Tobin and Meghan to come back to the stock room. They both went shoulder to shoulder into the back room. 

“You two did a great job today.” Ashlyn told them. “The inventory was completed and the stock room was cleaned up. Tomorrow is truck day so we will be unloading then stocking the shelves. It’s pretty easy, it’s just tedious work.”

“Sounds great.” Tobin said with a huge smile.

Ashlyn gave her a weird look, noticing the new energy she had all of a sudden acquired. “Okay you two can clock out and I will see you back here bright and early in the morning.”

“You got it boss.” Meghan said quickly. 

The two of them clocked out and headed towards the door when Christen called out for them before they got outside. 

“So you two work tomorrow?” she asked

Meghan fielded the question. “Yeah we are off Thursdays and Fridays.”

“Cool, I have Friday and Saturday off.” She told them, but she was looking at Tobin.

Tobin lowered her head and quickly put her hands in her pocket. 

“Well cool.” Meghan chimed in breaking the awkwardness. “See you tomorrow.”

Christen looked over to Meghan and smiled. “Yeah I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Tobin gave her a quick wave before they headed out the door. They made it into the car before Meghan said something.

“So what did you too talk about?” she asked.

Tobin stuck her key in the ignition. “Cleats.”

“That’s it?” Meghan asked rolling down the window.

“Yeah, I mean she likes Adidas.”

“That’s all you got from like a five-minute conversation with the girl.”

“Yup.”

“Oh great.” Meghan murmured under her breath.


	2. Pick-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their second day at work and things are happening around them. They find out something awesome about their manger that has them freaking out a bit. Christen invites them to a pick-up game in the park.

"So." Meghan said looking at the brick building. "We doing this again?"

Tobin was standing next to her, iced coffee in hand. "I guess so."

"It wasn't that bad." The shorter girl said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I mean it could be worse. We could be filing papers and making coffee."

"Two and a half sugars." Tobin said in a high pitched voice her face all scrunched up. "Who takes two and a half sugars?"

"Nancy." Meghan said referring to the annoying woman at the office job they had last summer.

"Yeah... I did not like Nancy." Tobin took a drink for her cup and shook the ice around. "So I guess we are doing this."

Meghan took a deep breath and let it out in kind of a half cry half scream. "Then let's do it."

-  
The night after their first day at work had gone by much faster than they expected. After getting to Tobin's house they watched a few YouTube videos on how to improve headers then quickly changed and went outside to practice. They spent four hours kicking the ball at each other and smacking with their heads. Eventually they both developed headaches and sat on the couch for an hour before it was time for Meghan to head home for dinner. They texted each other about techniques and complained about having to work in the morning. 

Tobin spent another hour or so after dinner kicking the ball around. She was full of energy and was definitely not ready to get any kind of sleep. It was almost eleven when her mom forced her to come inside and try and sleep. But she stayed up texting Meghan about soccer and about university. It wasn't until Meghan told her to stop texting and go to bed that her mind began to wander. 

It was midnight when she took out her phone and opened Facebook. She scrolled through her feed, saw the picture Meghan had already posted of their practice, it was of Tobin balancing a ball on her forehead. She scrolled further, read a couple of status updates and laughed at a few memes. She found herself typing in the search bar. 

First it was Alex, the forward from school who she had a huge crush on. She looked through her photos, they were all with the girls from the team and a few others from school. There was a new one posted with her and another soccer player leaning against each other and making kissy faces at the camera, of course she read the caption: 'Morgan and I are finally FREE.' The girl was Alex's best friend and Tobin always found it funny Alex would be best friends with someone who's first name was the same as Alex’s last name. She scrolled through some more looking at all the photos she had seen before but never commented on and never clicked the like button. Tobin had been through her page a few times but she never sent a friend request, just the thought of it made her uneasy. She could barely look at Alex in person, the only way she ever spoke to her was on the field calling for the ball or agreeing on plays. Alex made her mouth go dry and her hands sweat. Just looking at her page made her take a drink from the bottle of water on her night stand. Alex was beautiful and she was way out of Tobin’s league, at least that's what she told herself.

Then, for some odd reason she found herself typing in her search bar again, only this time it wasn't one of her normal searches, this time she typed in ‘Christen” then hesitated for a second before typing ‘Press’. There she was, a picture of her sitting in the grass in her soccer gear and smiling up at whoever took the picture. _She has a nice smile_ , Tobin thought. She clicked her page, there was a lot of soccer stuff which made Tobin feel better about only talking soccer to her. There were quotes from movies and books that were inspirational and funny at the same time. She looked through her photos and there were a lot of her and her friends, a bunch of her on the field and a bunch of her with two big fluffy dogs. _She likes dogs that's good_ , Tobin thought to herself. 

She scrolled and saw a picture of her with a girl who was tall and pretty and had long blonde hair. There were several picture of them together, always sitting close or their arms linked. Then there was a picture of them and the girl was kissing Christen’s cheek, and that pissed Tobin off. She clicked on the name Allie Long and pulled up her page. She wasn't so great. I mean she was pretty, bright blue eyes and really nice skin. She was tall athletic and it looked like she played soccer. Then she read what Christen had posted on her page 'my favorite midfielder'. 

Tobin shut her phone off and laid it on her stomach. She was upset, but she didn't know why. She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep but the girl with Christen was still in her head. Who was she and why was she her favorite midfielder? There was no way she was as good as Tobin, or was she? No, she shook her head and closed her eyes. Eventually she fell asleep.  
-

 

The two tired girls strolled into the store, Ashlyn already had her clipboard out and was making notes. Meghan and Tobin stood in the doorway of the stock room and waited to be acknowledged.

Without looking behind her Ashlyn greeted them. "How long did you two stand outside this time?"

"Not as long as yesterday." Meghan spoke up.

Ashlyn turned around, she had a smile on her face. "I get it you know, that itch. That desire to be on the field, to be running around instead of here counting boxes and shin pads."

"Did you play?" Tobin asked suddenly a lot more interested in her manager.

The blonde nodded her head. "Yes, I still do actually. I'm a keeper, I dove for a ball last year and messed up my shoulder. I'll be back on the field next season though."

"No way." Meghan was excited. "Where did you play?"

"UNC actually, why do you think I like you guys so much?" She gave them a quick smile. "I graduated two years ago and now I play in Europe. Jill gave me this job so I can have something to do while I recover, but next season I'm heading back to England."

"England?" Tobin’s jaw was almost on the floor. "You play pro in England? What team?"

"Arsenal." Ashlyn said with pride.

Both Meghan and Tobin looked at each other, their eyes as wide as they could get, in unison they said, "Duuuuuuuude."

Tobin turned back to her the biggest smile on her face. "I have so many questions."

Ashlyn chuckled at the hopeful girl. "Later, the truck is pulling in now. After we unload you can ask me whatever you want."

Ashlyn headed out the backdoor propping it open with a brick. Meghan punched Tobin in the arm and Tobin shoved her in the shoulder.

"We have to google her tonight." Meghan said excitedly.

"I'm doing it on my lunch break." Tobin replied.

They spent the next two hours opening all the boxes the truck guy unloaded. They took all the merchandise boxes out of the big brown boxes and set them near the shelves the items belonged on. The big brown boxes were broken down and set in the corner for later. The entire time they would look over to Ashlyn while her back was turned and make comments.

“She’s so tall.” Meghan said. “I bet she reach clean over the cross bar.”

Tobin nodded her head. “She has a long reach. I wonder if I could score on her.”

“Probably not.” She laughed at her friend. “I bet she has reflexes like a freaking cat.”

Tobin took a ball out of the box and gave it a bounce on the floor. “Is it weird that I want to kick this at her right now?”

“A little.” Meghan replied. “But I kind of want to too.”

“We should ask her about UNC.” Tobin whispered. “And England.”

Meghan gave Tobin a small smack on the arm. “Looks like I was right.” She pointed to Ashlyn’s shirt sleeve that was up a little on her arm revealing the black and grey ink on her arm. “Tattoos equal cool.”

Ashlyn interrupted them after giving the final count to the truck driver. “We have all the boxes, now we just have to take inventory of all the items.” She handed Tobin the clipboard. “One of you read the numbers off the items and count and the other one check them off the list.” 

There was a knock at the front door and Ashlyn headed out to see who it was. Tobin watched her walk out the door and after it swung closed she quickly turned to Meghan.

“She has to tell us about England.” Tobin said with a smile.

“I want to ask her about the back line at UNC. I wonder if it’s the same coach she had. Probably, I think he has been there for like eight years or something.”

The two were rambling on about all the questions they wanted to ask Ashlyn, and talking about how awesome she was. They came to the conclusion to stay after work and talk to her about everything. Neither of them had ever met a professional soccer player before. They had been to a few national team games, and drove up to Boston to watch the Thorns play The Breakers twice, but they never had a chance to actually speak to the players. They didn't know any college players, and their already anxious minds were bubbling over curiosity. This was the first time they were ever going to get a chance to really talk to a soccer player who had already gone through everything they were about to go through. Ashlyn was who they wanted to be, and she was right there full of knowledge.

“Hey guys.” Christen walked into the stock room.

Tobin suddenly felt like her stomach was completely empty. She held the clipboard in front of her and tried not to drop it. She remembered how breath taking Christen was, she had looked at her pictures last night, but now suddenly here in person it was like she was seeing her for the first time. She gave her a little head nod, that was all she could possibly muster in the moment. 

Meghan gave a happy wave. “What up?’

“Oh you know.” Christen said tugging on her shirt a bit stretching out the logo on the front. “How was your nights?”

“Awesome.” Meghan said quickly. She knew Tobin wasn’t going to be able to speak, to make things less awkward she decided to fill in all the questions for now. “We practiced for a little while, until we started to see stars. Headers hurt after like two hundred of them.”

“Why were you doing two hundred headers?” The cheerful girl was now giggling as she spoke.

Meghan pointed over to Tobin. “She needs to work on her headers if she is going to be the next Abby Wambach.”

“She’s like five inches taller than you, and a forward.” Christen was looking over at Tobin now with a grin. “You should shoot for Brandi Chastain.”

The shortest one in the room piped in. “Are you saying Tobs can’t grow five inches in the next three months?”

This had Christen cracking up. “I’m sure she can do anything she sets her mind to.” She looked down for a second before looking up at Tobin through eyelashes.

All Tobin could do was stand there and smile. _What did she mean by that? Does she think I am cool or something?_ She thought in her head. _Say something Tobin._

“Hey.” Meghan yelled, hitting Tobin in the shoulder. “Christen should come practice with us.” She turned to look at the girl who was still standing in the door way, now with her hands shoved in her back pockets. “Tobin’s back yard is so awesome. It’s like half a field, and she has a full size goal and targets and everything. You should come out and play, maybe teach us some of that forward magic. You can show us how to do a proper header.”

“Are you sure, I don’t want to mess up your best friend groove.” Christen had a shy look on her face.

“Dude, totally.” Meghan smacked Tobin in the arm again. “We need to get a feel for each other anyways, I mean we are going to be on the same team for at least the next four years. Plus, you can help with my PK’s. It’ll be awesome. Tell her Tobs.”

Tobin snapped out of her thoughts. “Uh-yeah.” She said in a low voice.

Meghan looked at her with her eyebrows knitted together. “What she means to say is, ‘Yes Christen come to my house and teach me how to play soccer.’” She said in trying to sound like Tobin and match her casual rhythm. “Don’t worry I am a Tobin translator.”

Christen was chuckling a bit, but still with her hands nervously tucked in her back pockets. “I mean yeah if you guys want to hang out I would love to get some practice in. I usually play in the park with a few people, but I can come over and shoot around.”

“Who do you play with in the park?” It was Tobin who actually formed a sentence, with actual words, in the right order, and spoke them to Christen.

A little taken back by Tobin talking Christen smiled and lowered her head a bit. “Uh- just a few local people. They are all pretty good, a few of them are heading off to college too. We just play five on five mostly.”

“Maybe we can come out and make it six on six?” Meghan had her hands clasped together in the prayer position and was mouthing the word ‘please’ over and over again.

Christen nodded her head. “Yeah that would be cool. We are going to be playing tonight around seven if you guys want to come out.”

“Count us in.” Meghan turned around to her friend who quickly nodded her head. “Yes, we will be there.”

“Awesome. It’s no big deal or anything, we don’t even wear guards, so don’t worry we won’t be too rough on you two.” She smiled looking directly at Tobin. “Well I have to get the front counter ready. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

As Christen left the stock room, Meghan jumped in the air and spun around in a half circle to meet her friends gaze. She looked up at her a grin from ear to ear. “Dude.” She said without breaking her smile.

Tobin shook her head. “Yeah?”

“Come on. Be more excited.” She gave Tobin a little push. “We are going to play soccer, like a real pick-up game with real people, not just me and you in the backyard kicking around. We can run and pass and do actual plays.”

“I’m excited.” Tobin said trying to force a smile on her face.

“Are you nervous about Christen?” Meghan asked without thinking about the fact that Tobin had yet to tell her if she even thought the new girl in their lives was cool or not. “There’s going to be other people out there.”

“Why would I be nervous about her?” Tobin asked now pretending to read the things on the clipboard. 

As much as the energetic girl wanted it to be the time to talk about Christen, she could tell Tobin had not come to the realization that she in fact had a small crush on her. It had only been one day, and there was no rush, at least not right now. In her mind getting them together after work in a friendly soccer environment was good enough for now. Hopefully they would talk a little more about something other than cleats and get to know each other and admit they had feelings for one another. Either way, they were going to play soccer again with a bunch of people and that was exciting all into itself.

The next couple of hours they traded reading off numbers and checking off the list. Every time Ashlyn would walk out of her office and out to the floor the two of them would follow her with their eyes and come up with another crazy theory about her, and more questions they just had to ask. The running theory was she could jump from one end of the goal to the other in one jump, boot the ball across the entire field, and break your jaw if she ever uppercut you.

Soon it was Tobin’s break so she clocked out and headed out the front. She was stopped by Christen who was wiping hand prints off the front glass.

“Lunch break?” Christen was on her knees looking up at Tobin.

Nervously Tobin shoved her hands in her pocket. “Yeah.”

“Where are you going to eat?” She was trying her hardest not to sound nervous when she spoke.

This was a real question, something that required and answer, not just a ‘yeah’ or a ‘nah’, an actual name of an actual place. _Oh God, where was she going to eat? Dammit Tobin you had a place in your head. Just say any place it doesn’t matter_ “Five Guys.” She said quickly.

“That sounds really good.” Christen stood up with a little bounce. “I might have to go there for my lunch break.”

“Yeah.” She pushed her hands further into her pocket. Nervously she looked around the store as if she was searching for someone. “Well-uh… I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, enjoy your burger.” 

Tobin walked quickly out the door and headed down the street. She didn’t want Five Guys; she was craving pizza but now that she said it she felt obligated to go get it. What if Christen asks about her meal? What if she asks if it was packed in the restaurant, or if they ran out of vinegar for the fries? What if she smelled the pizza on her and she figured out that she lied about where she wanted to go? With the anxiety of being questioned lingering in the air Tobin made the choice to suck it up and eat a burger at Five Guys.

As she sat down in the booth alone with her ticket in her hand she took out her phone. She opened her Facebook and typed Christen’s name into the search bar. She clicked on her photos and tried to see if she could find the crew she played soccer with at the park. There were a ton of pictures of her playing soccer in shorts and a t-shirt but the surroundings didn’t have any land marks so who knew where she was in the photos.

Tobin chewed on her straw as she scrolled through and saw more pictures of her and the blonde girl. Who was she? Christen’s profile was not completely private. She could see a lot of her photos and some of her feed but nothing in her about me section expect her home town; Los Angeles, California.

“That’s why she is so cool.” Tobin said to herself.

There was no way someone like Christen Press came out of _New Jersey._ Nothing cool came out of Jersey, well except tomatoes, but that wasn’t even that cool. Tobin thought about Christen in school, she probably had a ton of friends, one of those girls who knew everyone and everyone knew her. She probably went to prom and had a ton of fun with all her friends. Tobin and Meghan spent prom night on the couch watching ‘She’s the Man’ and overdosing on kit-kats and marshmallows. Christen probably went out after games and hung out with all the girls on her team, especially this Allie Long girl in all the photos.

Of course Tobin clicked back on Allie’s page and scrolled through her page as much as she could. And there it was, the thing that made Tobin choke on her burger, a post; “Carolina Bound.” Which Carolina? Why was she bound there? Was she headed to UNC too? Was she going to play soccer there? Who was this girl? A midfielder? Was she better? Now Tobin needed to know everything about her, but she looked up at the little black numbers at the top of her screen, she had five minutes to get back to work. She would have to research this later. If there was going to be another midfielder there, Christen’s favorite midfielder, then she had to know who she was. Tobin threw away the rest of her food and headed back to work.

As she came in the door Christen was standing near the closest clothing rack straightening the clothes. “Hey how was it? Was it packed?”

 _This is what you prepared for._ “Uh, good… And no.” she said then walked by her as quickly as possible and pushed her way into the stock room.

“Dude you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Meghan told her as soon as she got in the room.

Tobin looked over at her. “No. What? Uh-I’m fine.”

Meghan walked over to her friend who she knew instinctively was not fine. “What’s wrong. Did you eat that salami and mushroom pizza again? Because I thought we learned our lesson the last two times we had that…”

“No.” Tobin interrupted her. “I had Five Guys.”

“I thought you were getting pizza?”

Tobin shook her head. “I was, then Christen asked me where I was going and I got a little flustered and said Five Guys, I don’t know why.”

“Why didn’t you get pizza anyway?” Meghan was getting confused.

“Because I felt weird, and if she would have asked me about Five Guys then I would have had to lie and I didn’t want to do that?”

“Why would she ask you about your food?”

Tobin pointed her finger at her friend. “She did ask me, and I had a real answer, so I was right about that.”

“That’s what has you so crazy?”

“What?” Tobin squinted her eyes. “No, that’s not why.” No matter what she did Meghan was not going to let this go. The fact was Tobin was actually upset and her best friend knew it. She took out her phone and opened Facebook, Allie Long’s page was still up. “Look at this. She is going to UNC, I think, and she is a midfielder.”

“Who is this?” Meghan asked looking at the screen.

Tobin pointed to her name on her page. “Allie Long, she is Christen’s friend.”

“How do you know Christens friend?” Now she was getting somewhere.

“Never mind that, Kling look.” She scrolled to a picture of Allie playing soccer. “She is a midfielder. What if she is better than me? What if I don’t get the start next year, or any year? What if I barely play and the NWSL decides to pass on me. I’ll never get called up to Nationals. I’ll never play pro…” Tobin was in full on rant mode.

Meghan did the only thing she knew how to do in these situations, she grabbed her shoulders and shook her a few good times. “Dude, chill.” As soon as Tobin took a deep breath Meghan took one herself. “Look, I am sure this Allie chick is awesome, but you are Tobin Freaking Heath. You are the number one scoring midfielder in all of the county, hell in all of Jersey. You’re the tits, no one is better than you.”

Before they could get themselves together Christen walked into the back room. “Hey Meghan, do you want to get some lunch?”

Meghan looked over to Tobin. “You okay?”

Tobin nodded her head. “Yeah I’m just going to get the rest of this done.” She shoved her phone in her pocket before Christen could see she had her friends page up. “Go ahead. I’m good.”

“You sure?” she was genuinely concerned for her friend. “I can stay for a little while.”

“No, go get food. I know you’re hungry.” Tobin gave her a reassuring smile. 

Meghan gave Tobin's arms a light squeeze then gave her a quick half grin before turning around to smile at Christen who was waiting patiently for the two friends to have their moment. The two headed out and Tobin grabbed the clipboard off the shelve and decided to focus on her work and not Allie Long.

Christen and Meghan walked out of the store and headed the way of Five Guys after Christen made a big deal about craving it, and if she was honest with herself Meghan now really wanted some too.

“Is Tobin okay? She looked a little flustered?” Christen asked as they walked down the street.

“Uh-yeah.” Meghan responded though she said it more like a question than an answer. “She just had a minor freak out over some weird soccer stuff. It happens from time to time. She forgets how awesome she is and I just have to remind her.”

“I don’t think I would ever freak out if I played like she does.” Christen admitted sort of feeling a little insecure about herself in the moment.

Meghan gave her a little push. “Dude, full ride soccer scholarship. You’re probably the poo and you just don’t want to admit it. Am I going to have to baby you through college like I do Tobs?”

She started to crack up. “Yeah maybe.”

They got to the restaurant, ordered their food and sat down in the booth. Christen took out her phone and put it on the table. 

“Hey let me get your number.” She said opening the contacts. 

“Are you hitting on me?” Meghan laughed.

Christen shook her head. “No, not right now. I’m going to text you so you and Tobin can reach me tonight for the game.”

“You should get Tobin’s number and text her.” Meghan said pulling out her phone. 

“Are you joking?” Christen shook her head. “She want’s nothing to do with me. She barely speaks to me.”

This was concerning, after all Meghan knew all too well why Tobin was not talking to her. “That’s just Tobin. She is way better in text, trust me. We came out to each other through text.”

“Really? Well I guess I came out to my friend Allie over text too, but we talked about it in depth afterwards.”

That was the girl Tobin was talking about. Meghan had to think of a way to figure out who this girl was without sounding like a crazy person. “Who’s Allie?”

“My best friend from California.” Christen said simply. “We’ve been friends for like eight years, we did everything together. We both cried when I had to move. But she’s going to UNC too, so we’ll be together again.”

“Does she play soccer?” That was pretty subtle.

Christen nodded her head. “Yeah she does, but she doesn’t want to play in college. I keep begging her to try out for the team, I don’t think she will. She’s a midfielder like Tobin, but she has a completely different style, she is more of a defender then and attacker, though she can score some goals.”

And now for the finishing touch. “Did you two date?” Meghan asked while chewing on her straw.

Christen coughed. “No, no. Allie is totally straight. She’s just my best friend.”

“Great.” Meghan said happy that she now had all the facts and could report back to her friend and calm her down a bit. Now she could switch the conversation to something less awkward. “Did you know Ashlyn played keeper for UNC and she plays for Arsenal in Europe?”

“Shut up!” Christen leaned forward, her jaw dropped.

The conversation stayed on Ashlyn for the rest of the lunch. Meghan gave her all of her and Tobin’s theories about her, and all the questions they needed to ask. Christen came up with her own questions, most of them better and more mature than the Meghan and Tobin’s, but then again Christen was a little more mature than both of them. They ate quickly talking about university and how much they both couldn’t wait to get to North Carolina and meet the other team mates. Soon they were done and headed back to work.

“For as long as it’s been possible it’s been just Tobs and I.” Meghan told Christen after she asked how long she and Tobin had been friends. “I was born in Pittsburg but my family moved to Jersey when I was five and Tobin’s mom and my mom met signing us up for daycare. They put us in peewee soccer together and ever since then she and I have always been a team.”

“And you have never dated, like not even once?” Christen asked curious about their friendship.

“No, gosh Christen lesbians can be friends and not date.” She joked around with her new friend. “No I just never thought of her that way, I mean she’s Tobin.”

“Yeah she’s Tobin.” Christen said now beaming. “She is so cute. I love her eyes; they are so light. And her style…”

“She wears cut up jeans and t-shirts.” Meghan said confused.

“Yeah and snapbacks, and it works.” Christen had the biggest grin on her face, she was looking up like she was imagining what she was saying. “It really works on her. And her voice, it’s so low and soothing, and her smile, and that laugh…”

“Okay I get it.’ Meghan started to tease her. “You like Tobin.”

Christen gave a low growl in frustration. “Are you sure she doesn’t hate me?”

It took everything in her not to tell the poor gushing girl that Tobin liked her too, but Meghan refused to break best friend code. “I am 100% positive Tobin does not hate you at all. She just doesn’t do well with the whole talking thing, especially to new people, and especially if they are good looking. After the game tonight I’ll open it up for you to get her number and you can text her. Trust me Tobs is way better with texting.”

“You sure.” She asked feeling a little anxious.

Meghan put her hand on her shoulder. “Trust me dude. I got this.”

The two went their separate ways after clocking in. Meghan went over to Tobin who was diligently writing down things on the inventory list. She went up behind her and roared while grabbing her side. 

Tobin jumped up. “What the heck you freak?” she started to laugh. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Not yet.” Meghan said leaning against a bunch of boxes. “But I do have some news for you on the Allie Long front.”

Tobin looked around the room to make sure they were alone. “What do you mean?”

“Okay, so Allie Long is Christen’s best friend. They played soccer together in LA and she is a midfielder and she is going to UNC, but she is not playing soccer. Apparently she wants to focus on school or whatever, but Christen is trying to convince her to try out. She says she is more of a defensive midfielder, like a deep-lying player and less of an attacking mid. So even if she does tryout and make the team you two are in completely different categories.”

Tobin let out a sigh of relief. “Well that’s good to know.”

“Yup.” Meghan examined her fingernails. “And, she is totally straight. She and Christen have never dated, not even once.”

“Uh-okay, that’s cool.” Tobin said trying to hide the excitement that not even she fully knew was inside her. 

Meghan looked over to her with one raised eyebrow. “Yeah it _is_ cool. Christen is though, just so you know.”

Tobin studied the papers in her hand. “She is what?”

“Gay.” Meghan said quickly.

She didn’t look over to her. “That’s cool.”

“Yup, and she likes snapbacks.” She tapped the back of her friend’s hat as she walked past her.

The day went by pretty quickly. They mainly stayed in the back finishing the inventory. If Jozy or Christen needed anything it was Meghan who brought it out to them. If Tobin had been honest with herself she would admit that she was a little nervous to go out and see Christen. After all she was thinking about her. Now that she knew for sure that she was in fact gay, and she and Allie were not a thing, it made her mind wander a bit. But she wasn’t being honest with herself and she chalked it up to just really wanting to be her friend.

Throughout the day she started to rationalize with herself about the whole situation. Christen didn’t give her the same feelings Alex did. Alex made her freak out, just the thought of her would send her mind racing, trying to find the right words to say to her. Alex made her head spin and her heart race, Christen was different. Christen made her forget words, like she never took an English class in her life. She made things stand still, like someone hit the pause button. Christen made her heart beat slower. She had a completely different effect on her than Alex so there was no way she could have any kind of feelings like that towards her. 

Plus Alex was completely different than Christen. Alex was intense and energetic and always had something to say. Alex was funny, and she always did silly things with her friends that Tobin would laugh about in the background. Christen was quiet and reserved. She was funny, obviously because she made Kling laugh, but that wasn’t hard, Kling laughed for two hours over a polar bear wearing a bucket as a helmet, still Christen was witty. And who knew if she did silly things Tobin had only known her for like two days, there was no telling who she really was. And yeah, Tobin only knew her for two days, no one had feelings for someone after just two days. She pushed the thought out of her mind and continued to do her work.

The day was over and Tobin and Meghan were waiting for Ashlyn to clock out. They had clocked out twenty minutes ago, but they saw a tall man wearing a managers shirt walk into the store and knew that was the night manager, which meant they could catch Ashlyn after she got off and talk to her about soccer. They sat in the coffee shop next to the store and waited to see Ashlyn walk by to get to the parking lot. When she walked by they jumped up and raced after her.

“Hey Ashlyn, wait up.” Meghan yelled sounding like a little kid. 

The older blonde turned around and saw the two running after her. “Hey why aren’t you two home yet.”

“We wanted to talk to you.” Tobin said regretting running after drinking an entire venti ice cappuccino. 

Ashlyn was confused for a second, before she remembered telling them she played professional soccer. “Okay you can ask questions until I get to my car, but I have somewhere to go.”

Tobin and Meghan high fived quickly then got themselves together enough to follow Ashlyn to her car. 

“What was it like at UNC?” Meghan asked quickly.

Ashlyn smiled remembering her time in school. “It was intense. You think balancing high school and soccer is hard, try having to monitor yourself, get good grades, and keep up with training.”

“What’s the program like?” Tobin asked.

“Hard. The first three weeks we did two-a-days. If you hate sprints get ready to hate life.” Ashlyn answered. “But it was rewarding. UNC is a winning team, and it’s a family, all the girls stick together and we get through it together. Practice is always intense, and we faced some hard teams. But it got me prepared for Europe.”

“God! Europe that is so cool.” Meghan almost shouted.

They were in the parking lot and Ashlyn had stopped at the back of a black Ford Mustang. 

She turned and gave them a quick smile. “It’s going to be hard work. If soccer is going to be your life, you’re going to have to get ready, even playing in the pros is not easy. It’s the hardest and the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“I thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you?” a tall woman with long black hair came up to Ashlyn and kissed her on the cheek.

“Hey babe.” Ashlyn said with a smile. “This is Meghan and Tobin, they work at The Pitch.” She pointed to the gorgeous girl on her arm. “This is Ali my girlfriend. She played at Penn State.”

“Get out.” Tobin was in awe. “Do you play pro too?”

“Yeah, I play for FCC Frankfurt in Germany.”

“Holly Cow, this is so awesome.” Tobin leaned back, bending at the knees. “You two are so cool.”

Ashlyn started to laugh. “These two are going to UNC in the spring.”

Ali’s eyes lit up. “Oh wow that is so cool. You two must be excited.”

Tobin nodded her head, maybe a little too many times. “Yeah like crazy excited.”

“Well hey we have got to get out of here. We can talk more about it tomorrow. And Meghan, I will bring her around some more so you two can talk defender to defender.”

“You’re a defender?” Meghan almost jumped up she was so excited.

Ali started to chuckle. “Yeah. I’ll share all my wisdom with you next time I stop by the store.”

“I will be forever grateful.” She put her hand to her chest. “I can’t wait.”

With that Tobin and Meghan now had their new idols and drove to Tobin’s house practically yelling about how awesome Ashlyn and Ali were. They immediately went to Tobin’s room and researched the two of them finding a few highlights from their games. They had been right about Ashlyn she was a bad ass goal keeper and she could jump clear past the cross bar. Meghan looked up all of Ali’s stats and watched a few of her videos though they were all in German so she didn’t understand anything anyone was saying. 

They had almost forgotten about the pick-up game in the park when Christen texted Meghan to make sure they knew where to go. They quickly changed into shorts and t-shirts and grabbed their cleats. They rushed out the door with fifteen minutes to spare and got in the car. 

“Wait a second.” Tobin said after she had started to car. She jumped out and headed back in the house.

“Come on we are going to be late.” Meghan yelled out the window.

Tobin ran inside and grabbed her hat placing it on her head backwards and rushed out the house. Meghan noticed the accessory and just smiled to herself. 

The ride was quick Tobin’s house pretty close to the park, in fact they both agreed to run there next time to get in better shape for University. When they got there they rushed to the field and met the group of people they would be playing with.

Christen started to introduce them to everyone, but Tobin was more focused on her bare legs in her shorts. She wasn’t listening to everyone’s name because her eyes were glued to her tank top and all of a sudden her ears were not working. 

“So this is Tim, Bobby, Chris, Clint and you guys know Jozy, he sucks.” Christen said point to the four guys stretching. “And this is Lindsey, Mallory, Sam and Hope.”

Everyone said their hello’s and talked trash about the other players. Then it got down to choosing teams.

“So what are we playing here?” Jozy asked still swinging his leg back and forth. 

“Guys vs Girls.” Bobby said quickly.

The taller girl Sam spoke up. “Are you sure you want to do that? We are going to kick your asses.”

“Yeah right.” One of the guys with short blonde hair said quickly. 

“Besides there is one more girl.” It was the tall girl with a pair of goalie gloves on that pointed out the off number of girls on the field. 

Jozy acted quickly. “We’ll take Tobin.”

“Woo woo woo.” Christen stepped in front of him. “You can’t just claim Tobin.”

“What there’s an uneven number, and there is less guys so we should get our pick. We pick Tobin.” Jozy puffed out his chest and grinned.

The tall guy with a short brown beard walk up behind him. “You sure, we don’t even know how she plays. Pick Little Bit.” He said pointing to Mallory.

Jozy stuck out his hand. “Nah, we want Tobin.” He looked over to Mallory. “Sorry Little Bit.”

Mallory huffed. “I don’t want to be on your team anyway.”

“No way, you don’t just get to pick.” Christen was trying to argue.

Hope stepped up. “Hey Chris it’s cool, let them have her. As long as she is cool with it.”

Everyone looked over to Tobin who was all of a sudden frozen in place. She looked at everyone for a few seconds then shrugged her shoulders. “Sure.”

“Then it’s settled.” Jozy said with a laugh. “We’ll take that end.” 

They were lined up on a makeshift midfield line that looked like someone had spray painted it. The field was about thirty yards shorter then regulation, but the goals were the right size. They judged out of bounds by the trash cans in the four corners. Turned out Hope and Tim were actual keepers home from their freshman year at college, so they would be in goal. Sam, Bobby, Chris and Clint were all headed to college in the fall just like Christen, Meghan, and Tobin. Mallory still had another year left in high school, but according to Tim she was going to try and run all over them. And much to Tobin’s shock Lindsey was going to France in the spring to play pro, she was going to have a lot of questions for her after the game. All in all Tobin thought this was going to be one of the a pretty good game.

In all her years Tobin had never played a pick-up game of soccer. She had played on plenty of teams, and she played all the time with Kling in her back yard. She even went to soccer camp, but even then she was always in a game with a ref and someone to call time. This was the first time she would be able to play freely without having to worry about points, or pressure. She was going to be able to play and laugh at the same time. Some how she felt more free than she ever had.

The game started and The Boys+Tobin had the ball first. As she got the ball and started running down the field she felt it again, freedom, and it was good. Tobin was playing better than she ever had. She had never played with boys before, so it took some getting used to, their rhythm was a lot different but she picked it up quickly. The girls side was no joke either. When Tim said that Mallory would run all over them he was not joking, she was up and down the field in a flash, Tobin really needed to know what high school she went to and why she had never seen her before. 

Meghan was settled quickly in the game. She stayed on the back, Hope’s voice was soft and soothing as she yelled about the shifts on the field. The boys quickly learned not to underestimate her when she stripped the ball from Clint and sent it flying up to Lindsey waiting in the wing. She was running hard, defending her section, it was easy with Hope being so confident behind her. She watched Tobin break past Sam and run up to receive the cross from Bobby. It was almost not in her to try and take the ball from her best friend, after all she had never seen Tobin play so… happy… before, but she had a job to do.

Tobin had scored and she ran around the field with her arms up. She was quickly scooped up by the guys and they carried her to midfield cheering and yelling. It felt like it was her first goal ever, the adrenaline rush, the high she got from just playing. There at midfield was Christen who, despite being a goal down, had a smile on her face, and it occurred to Tobin, this game was for fun and it didn’t matter if they won or lost, though it was nice to be winning.

Meghan was only down on herself for a few seconds, it was hard to be sad when the rest of the team was laughing and having a good time. They made fun of Hope who claimed to have the sun in her eyes. Then they settled back on field and it was time to go again. As much as Meghan loved to play hard and get every ball, it was fun being able to mess up and it all be okay. She could miss a tackle and everyone would just chuckle and say something smart, no one was yelling, no one was counting on her, she was just playing soccer. The more she realized the this the better she played. Soon she left her defensive post and ran the ball up the field, she kicked it to Sam who slammed it in the back of the net. 

The girls all cheered and Sam ran to the end of the field where they all lined up and pretended to take her picture. They could celebrate in silly ways out here. They could yell crazy things and joke about a missed kick. The game was fun.

At the end the score was The Boys+Tobin 2 and The Girls 3. The sun had already set and they were playing by the park lights. No one had to go home, no one knew the time, they just simply called “Last Out” and finished the game. Of course The Girls team quickly went into brag mode, which normally would bother Tobin but this time she was having a blast and everything they said was just hilarious.

“What was the last play Bobby.” Clint joked. “You kicked it like ten yards up.”

“Excuse me for thinking you were fast.” Bobby said throwing a towel at him.

Hope took her gloves off. “Everyone knows Clint can’t run.”

“Woo, I think you’re thinking of Jozy.” Clint yelled with a chuckle.

Everyone continued to go back and forth analyzing the game with jokes and friendly jabs at each other. Even Meghan started in on the guys, making fun of Chris for the three times she took the ball from him. Tobin sat in the background of course just listening as she always did. She was just happy to be out there with them. She wasn’t a big trash talker, she wasn’t a big talker but she enjoyed listening to it.

Tim, the keeper on The Boys team came and sat next to her stripping off his high socks and putting them in his black gym bag. “You’re really good.” He said in a deep voice.

“Thanks.” Tobin gave him a smile. “You are too. That save at the end, that stopped them from really putting the nail in our coffin.”

Tim started to laugh. “Honestly that was luck, I had no idea where she was going to kick it. Christen is a master at the fake out, she is going to kick ass at UNC.”

“Yeah I’ve never seen her play before, now I’m excited to play with her at school.” Tobin answered him.

“Are you going to UNC too?”

Tobin nodded her head. “Yeah Kling and I are headed out this fall. Where do you go?”

“Syracuse.” He told her happily. “I’m Jozy’s worst nightmare.”

She started to laugh, she found it easy to talk to Tim, he was a nice guy and seemed like he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. “Honestly I am a little afraid of Mallory. She said she is going to UCLA next year, I do not want to face off against her.”

Tim chuckled. “Yeah Little Bit is a feisty one.”

Soon the group started to disband. It was getting late and almost everyone had to work in the morning. So they said their good byes and made Tobin and Meghan promise to come back out on Thursday and play. Of course they agreed and started towards their car Christen beside them.

“Thanks for inviting us.” Meghan said happily. “I don’t think I’ve had that much fun since peewee.”

Tobin nodded her head. “It was awesome.”

“No problem.” Christen told them both. “Sorry you got stuck on the boy’s team Tobin.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “It was fun actually. It was a different rhythm but it was cool. Plus I’ve never gone against Kling expect in the back yard.”

“Yeah and you lost.” Meghan cheered.

“One out of three times.” Tobin said giving her a push. “It was nice to just play, I haven’t done that in forever.”

“Yeah that’s why I started playing here.” Christen said as the reached their cars. “I wanted to just play soccer. There are a few rec leagues, but I didn’t want to play seriously, I just wanted to kick the ball around and have some fun before I get to school and it gets serious again.”

“I totally understand that.” Tobin threw her bag in the back seat of her car.

Christen put her bag in her car and turned around to face Tobin who was leaning against her driver’s side door with her head up, she was watching the bugs fly around the light above them, she had a smile on her face. Christen watched her for a second, saw her close her eyes a take a deep relaxing breath. It was in that moment Christen made the choice to accept the fact that she was a little crazy about Tobin Heath.

Tobin lowered her head and smiled. “I am defiantly coming back Thursday.”

“Good, but I want you on my team next time.” Christen said giving a small pout.

“I don’t know I like playing against you.” Tobin laughed, “You give me a crazy challenge, I like it. You are fast, like really fast.”

“So are you.” She responded looking at Tobin through eyelashes. She looked over to Meghan who was smiling through the entire conversation. She saw Meghan mouth some words but couldn’t make it out, so she lowered her eyebrows at her.

Tobin turned around to see her best friend. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Meghan said quickly. “Just chillin.”

Tobin shook her head. “Well are you ready to go?”

“Yeah ready when you are.” Meghan said with a smile.

Tobin turned to Christen again. “Thanks again for inviting us.”

“Of course.” Christen said, then she noticed Meghan behind Tobin, she had her phone out and she was pointing at the mouthing words and Christen finally realized she was say ‘get her number.’ Christen took a deep breath and spoke up. “Hey so is practice at your house still an open invite?”

Tobin stood up straight. “Uh-yeah, of course.”

Christen nodded her head. “Um let me see your phone.” She said without thinking.

Tobin turned around and reached in her car, her phone was in the pocket of her bag. She got it out and noticed her hand was shaking a bit. She tried to steady herself as she handed over to Christen, touching her thumb to the pad to unlock it. It was in this moment she realized she was having a conversation with Christen. She was saying more than one word to her, and it was easy, defiantly a little nerve racking, but the words just flowed out. Sure now her heart was doing that beating slow thing, but it wasn’t as bad as all the other times. She just watched her type on her phone. She had nice hands, Tobin found herself wondering what it would be like to hold her hand. She shook her head, she needed to focus on what was happening around her and not the lock of hair that fell in Christen’s face when she lowered her head to look at the screen.

Christen took the phone and went into her contacts adding herself with a smiley face after her name. She sent herself a text then held up the two phones. “Now we have each other’s numbers. We can figure out a good time.”

Tobin nodded her head, she tried to steady her hand as she reached out and grabbed the phone from the girl in front of her. “Yeah, uh-cool.”

It was time for Meghan to step in, she needed to save Tobin from saying anything crazy and messing the whole thing up. “Okay, well we better get back.”

Tobin turned around to her car. “Yeah uh-we will see you tomorrow at work.”

“Okay, cool.” Christen said in a friendly voice.

Tobin got in the car and started it up. It took all her concentration to put the car in reverse and back out of the spot. Before she drove off she looked over at Christen still standing by her car, she pushed the stray lock of hair behind her ear and waved. _Yeah, she is beautiful._ Tobin thought, then drove off, but not before waving back

Meghan sat in the car looking over at her friend who was sporting a huge smile. “So Christen is pretty cool.” She said casually.

Tobin’s smile got bigger. “Yeah she’s the coolest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a quick update. I hope everyone enjoyed it. I don't know if all updates will take this little time, I just had this in my head and pushed it out.
> 
> As always comments rock my world.


	3. Yes or No?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two best friends play another pick-up game with their new friends. Tobin and Christen are on the same team. Meghan makes a time for the two to be alone by having Christen drive Tobin to her house after the game. Meghan is put in a tough situation with both of them.

Tobin looked down at her phone, it was 630 and Meghan was late. At work on Wednesday they had decided to meet at Tobin's house around 615 so they could run down to the park and meet the group for the Thursday pick-up game. It was Thursday, they both had the entire day off which Tobin spent her morning at church since she couldn't make the Sunday service and the rest of her afternoon practicing her corner kicks and chasing her dog around the backyard. Now she was outside, her backpack on her shoulders with her cleats and a bottle of water in it, waiting for her best friend to show up.

She looked down at her phone, Meghan hadn't even texted her to let her know she was running late. She opened up her messages and was on her way to type an angry text when she saw Christens name in one of her messages. 

She had given her phone to Christen two days ago and let her type in her number. Christen sent herself a text from Tobin’s phone and there it was, "Red Stars Rule." It was a joke; Christen knew Tobin’s favourite team was The Thorns and knew she would never cheer for the Red Stars, but it was funny, she was funny. Despite opening her messages and staring at Christens name for over an hour Tobin never sent a text, she wanted to, she pressed the message screen and the keyboard popped up, but she never typed anything. Each time she would exit out and focus on something else.

"Hey." It was Meghan yelling from across the street, she was in her running gear with her backpack strapped to her. "You ready?"

"You're late." Tobin said shoving her phone in her pocket and running across the street. 

Meghan shook her head with an annoyed look on her face. "Sorry, my dad was coming in while I was heading out and he was talking to me about weird stuff. I left as soon as possible." She was slightly out of breath as she explained herself.

Meghan’s house a few miles away on the streets, but if she ran though the houses and cut through the park it was only about .75 miles away. Ever since they were allowed to hang out without their parents they would meet each other half way in the park and hang out playing soccer and running around. Even now at eighteen Meghan took the same route. She could drive and cut her fifteen-minute walk in half, but what was the fun in that.

She was supposed to walk to Tobin's before the run, but rushed down there and was now slightly out of breath. "How far is the park?"

Tobin tightened the straps on her backpack. "Mile and a half, more or less."

The shorter girl looked at her phone for the time then turned on a song to run to. "10 minuets flat?" She asked referring to how much time it would take them to run to the park.

Tobin scoffed and pulled on the straps of her pack. "9:30."

"We have back packs." 

"That's why I didn't say 8:30." She gave her friend a sly smile. "What's up Kling? Can't keep up."

Meghan pressed the timer on her phone and let out a scream before starting to run getting a head start on her friend.

They raced down the street, both of them pulling in front of each other every once and a while. Tobin sprinted ahead and look back and Meghan with a huge smile causing the shorter girl to speed up and blow past her. They laughed and joked as they ran, the music playing from Meghan’s phone tucked in her pocket changing from one upbeat song to another, muffled every time it hit her leg.

They arrived at the park and Meghan fished her phone from her pocket. "9:36" she said looking at the blinking numbers. 

"Not bad." Tobin said her hands on her head fingers laced together so they wouldn't fall. "It should be 8 minutes by the end of summer."

"You and your damn life goals." The tired girl laughed as she took a drink from the bottle that was in her backpack. 

Suddenly they weren't alone. Christen pulled into the parking lot in her silver Toyota Camry. She waved to them cheerfully as she reached in the backseat and grabbed her bag. Tobin had to stand up straight and drop her arms. She watched Christen get out of her car, it was like she was moving in slow motion. Her hair was down and way around her shoulders, but she took a hair tie from around her wrist and tied it up in a messy bun. _She has nice arms_ Tobin said in her head. Christen made her way to them with a grin. She had her bag on her shoulder and it hit her side as she walked but she was still able to walk gracefully. 

"Did you two run here?" Christen asked noticing how out of breath the two girls were.

Meghan nodded her head. "Yes, we are trying to get in better shape for school. Ashlyn says the first few weeks are two-a-days with a lot of sprints."

"Maybe I should be working out too." She laughed adjusting her bag to fit on her shoulder properly. 

Tobin couldn't help but think of how gorgeous she was; she didn't need to work out at all. Christen was indeed beautiful. Tobin couldn't help but study her. She was wearing a pair of dirty untied high top converse, she had long well defined legs obviously from years of soccer and running. Tobin trailed her eyes up her legs and stopped at the edge of her shorts, blue with white piping that were loose at the legs but got tighter the higher they went. Her shirt was loose fitting, a black tank top with "girl power" in white letters. Tobin's eyes were on the lettering, she couldn't stop reading the two words over and over again until she realised she was not reading the words but was focused on what was underneath. She tore her eyes away embarrassed and turned around to catch her breath.

"We work out almost every day if you ever want to come out." Meghan told her cheerfully.

"Maybe I will." Christen said.

The three walked down to the field. Tobin was quite, she didn't have much to say, at least nothing she wanted to say out loud. Her mind was going on how beautiful Christen was, but not just beautiful, she was hot, or something else, a better word... sexy. Christen Press was sexy and now Tobin had said it in her head she couldn't get rid of the idea. They got to the field and everyone was putting on their cleats and getting ready and Tobin was watching Christen. She watched her sit and put on her bright blue cleats one at a time. 

_Wow she has nice legs_ Tobin thought to herself. _She has nice everything_ She could admit it to herself now, she was defiantly attracted to her. It would be kind of silly not to be attracted to her, she was extremely attractive. So it was settled. She thought Christen was sexy, but that did not mean she had feelings for her.

“So how are we splitting teams?” Bobby asked.

“Oh no boys versus girls this time?” Lindsey teased. “Got your ass handed to you enough last time?”

Chris stepped in. “No, we just think it would be unfair to play you ladies again now that we have a rhythm going.”

“What rhythm?” Hope laughed as she put on her gloves. “You guys sucked. No offense Tobin.”

Tobin was taken out of her thoughts with the mention of her name. She looked over to the group and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s cool.”

“How about we do captains?” Mallory suggested. 

Tim stood up from his stretches. “Sounds fair. Hope and I will be captains because we have to be on opposite teams anyhow.”

Everyone agreed to the idea, and Hope and Tim stepped out of the group and played rock paper scissors to see who picked force, Hope coming out on top with rock versus scissors. She laughed at Tim for a second before turning and yelling a name.

“Christine.” She said with a smile. 

“First pick, that’s what I am talking about.” Christen said as she went over to Hopes side. 

Tim looked around for a second before saying, “Clint.”

Clint strolled over with a smile on his face. 

Christine leaned in to Hope. “Tobin.” She said quietly turning her face to try and be subtle.

Hope turned with her. “Are you saying that because you have a crush or because you want to win?”

“I don’t have a crush.” Christen scoffed quietly. 

“Please.” Hope said with a playful attitude.

“Fine, but she’s really good. Trust me.” Christen said.

Hope turned around without hesitation. “Tobin.”

Tobin walked over to where they were standing and stood next to Christen but about a foot away. She didn’t want to stand too close she had to focus on soccer and not the fact that Christen smelled like vanilla. As she stood Christen looked over her shoulder at her and gave her a smile, and that was the end of her concentrating on soccer, she was now thinking about incredibly green her eyes were.

Tim picked Mallory and all the boys complained and called him a traitor. Hope quickly choose Meghan knowing she needed a good defender to help keep the line. Much to the other guys upset Tim picked Lindsey. With input from everyone the next pick was Bobby, then Chris, then Sam, and last Jozy.

“Why am I last.” Jozy complained walking over to Tim’s side.

“Because no one likes you Jozy.” Chris joked. 

“You’re on my team man.” Jozy said quickly.

Chris shook his head. “Not by choice.”

Everyone started to get settled. Tim’s team would have the ball first because he picked second. Everyone was getting rowdy, jumping in place and getting their final stretches in before the game started. 

Christen was headed to the center with Mallory when she passed by Tobin. “You ready?” she asked.

Tobin was in the middle of shaking out her arms, she stopped quickly and gave a goofy smile. “Uh-yeah.” Great now she was back to the one word answers.

The game went by quickly. The teams were virtually even so a lot of it came down to goal keeping, Hope making the best saves. Much to both Meghan and Tobin’s joy the game felt just like it did the last time they played, it was just fun. They were free to just play and be themselves, something they were unable to do once they hit the point in their lives when points started to matter. It felt good being on the same team, Tobin was comfortable with Meghan backing her up, and Meghan was just excited to know for sure that Tobin would always be where she needed her to be. The trash talk was good, everyone yelling at everyone and laughing about it. Tobin had made a goal within the first few minutes and Tim complained about picking Clint first instead of her. Before they knew it the park lights were on and the game was tied up 3-3 and someone called out “Next Goal Wins.”

The tying goal was scored by Tim’s team so Christen and Mallory headed to the center to take it out. As she walked up Christen looked to Tobin giving her a serious look and raising one eyebrow as if she was trying to communicate something to her without words. For a second Tobin was a little lost in the look but she quickly remembered they were playing soccer and she needed to focus, she knew what that look was, and she knew what she had to do.

Mallory gave the ball a small kick to Christen and the play started. Tobin ran as fast as she could down the line. Christen was in the center, she kicked it to Bobby and ran past Sam calling for the ball again. It touched her feet, landing just where it needed to be and she looked up and saw exactly what she wanted to see. Tobin was down the field, close to the goal but on sides. She launched it in the air just past where Tobin was trusting she was fast enough to get to it, and she was. 

The ball hit Tobin in the chest, bouncing just ahead of her but in sight. She ran, light touches with her left foot, heading straight for the goal. But Jozy was standing just beyond her, she had to get around him. She saw him heading towards her, normally she would cut the right and blow past him, but out the corner of her eye she saw a flash, it was Christen. She felt the ball at the tip of her toe, hit hard but still on the ground headed straight for the girl darting towards to goal. As it met Christens foot she had one touch on it before she launched it towards the goal. Tim dove but it was too quick, the ball smashed into the back of the net. 

Tobin screamed. Christen screamed. They were the only two down field as the blue and yellow ball hit the white net. Christen turned to her and headed straight for her. Without caring Tobin ran to Christen too. They clashed together, Christen jumping up and Tobin grabbing her midair and pulling her in close. Christen put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder to steady herself against her, she yelled and pumped her other hand in the air. Soon the entire team was around them, but not before Tobin noticed what was going on. She was hugging Christen.

The team pulled on the two girls, yelling and clapping and grabbing at both of them. Tobin let Christen down but she still had her hand on her waist as the four other players pushed them together. She looked up to Christen who was smiling, and in that moment Tobin wondered to herself what it would be like to kiss Christen Press.

They were pulled apart by two people grabbing their shoulders and giving both of them a shake, and the moment was lost.

“That was the coolest thing I have ever seen.” Mallory said in a high pitched voice. 

“Dude, that kick, that pass, they whole thing was killer.” Meghan said looking from Tobin to Christen. “You two make a great team.”

Tobin smiled shyly lowering her head and placing her hand on the back of her neck. “Yeah we do.” She said looking up at Christen.

Christens smile was so big she was sure it would never fade. “We really do.”

The game was over and everyone was in a circle changing from their cleats to street shoes. The conversation stayed on the last goal as everyone told the play from the angle they could see.

“I mean, it didn’t even seem like you looked up.” Clint said to Tobin. “I didn’t think you knew she was there.”

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. “I could see her.”

“Yeah but you put it in front of her like perfectly.” Lindsey commented.

“I knew she would get there.” Tobin said simply, she looked up to Christen. “She’s fast.”

“You two are going to be unstoppable next year.” Sam said.

After everyone was done talking about the play they started to go their separate ways. It had been settled, Meghan and Tobin were now officially apart of the group and had to come out and play every Tuesday and Thursday. Without hesitation they both agreed. It was the first time in their lives that they were part of a group. Everyone exchanged numbers with everyone, neither Meghan nor Tobin had ever had so many contacts in their phones before. They were quickly added to the group chat they had going, and it was official, they had friends.

“Hey Christen, do you mind giving Tobs and I a ride home? We ran here remember.” Meghan asked as everyone started to walk towards where they had parked. 

Christen was pulling on her shoes. “Yeah no problem.”

Before she even had the chance to stand Christen was pulled aside by Hope who was talking to her extremely close and too quiet for anyone to hear what she was saying. Meghan stood next to Tobin and punched her lightly in the shoulder, Tobin pushed her back, but she wasn’t really paying attention, she was watching Hope talk with Christen. The taller girl was looking very serious, though Hope seemed to have a serious face, and she looked over to Tobin for just a second, before continuing what she was saying. Christen nodded her head, and gave Hope a little push which made Hope laugh and then step closer to her. The conversation looked intense, but not too serious, they were both smiling, so it had to be about something on the casual side. As the conversation ended Christen turned around with a smile on her face. Hope called her name and gave her a stern look and Christen waved her hand behind her and shook her head.

“You guys ready?” Christen asked the two waiting on her.

Meghan answered. “Yup, ready to go.”

The three walked up to the parking lot Meghan going over the game the entire time. As they got to the car Meghan went for the backseat. Tobin got wide eyed as she realized what her best friend was doing. 

“Chris, can you drop me off first.” Meghan asked as they all got in the car.

“Your house is past mine.” Tobin looked back at her friend.

Meghan spoke up. “Not if you go south, and you should go south because there is construction going the north route.”

“What construction?” Tobin asked. 

Meghan smacked her in the back of the head. “Will you just trust me, I know these things.”

Tobin grabbed the back of her head that stung a little. “Fine, man you didn’t have to hit me.”

“Well you shouldn’t question me.”

Meghan knew what she was doing. There was no construction and it would take them twice as long to get to her house first, but if she was dropped off first they would have like two minutes together. Tobin was too off in her denial to ever try and have a second alone with Christen, so it was up to her to make it happen.

As they pulled into Meghan’s driveway she looked up into the rearview mirror as Christen looked back at her. She smiled and mouthed the words “talk to her” before giving Tobin a light hit on the top of the head. “Text me later loser. And thanks for the ride Chris.”

Christen laughed as she watched Meghan jump out of the car, grabbing her bag and shutting the door behind her. She turned to Tobin who had her phone out and was texting someone. “So how do I get out of here?”

Putting her phone in her pocket she pointed towards the street in front of them. “Take a left up there.”

Christen started to drive, she was quiet which made Tobin feel a little awkward, so she tried to give directions without sounding like an idiot. But that wasn’t enough, she couldn’t sit quietly this whole time, I mean she could, but she couldn’t. Suddenly a song came on the radio and she saw that as her opening.

“I love this song.” She said quietly, almost too quietly.

Christen looked at her for a second before focusing back on the road. “You listen to Paramore?”

“Who doesn’t?” Tobin said happily. “I want to see them in concert.”

“I have, in LA a few years ago, it was awesome.” 

“No way. That’s so awesome. They came to Trenton a little while ago but I had a game so I couldn’t go.” Tobin was looking out the window, she could talk as long as she didn’t look over at her. “But next time, I am going to see them.”

“Maybe they will come to North Carolina and we can all road trip it.” Christen said excitedly.

Tobin nodded her head. “That would be cool.” A little time passed and she needed to say something else, but the same song was playing and she couldn’t comment on music again so she went with, “Do you miss LA?”

“Yeah.” Christen said sounding a little sad. “I miss the weather. I got here in December, I had never seen snow before.”

“Are you kidding me?” 

Christen shook her head. “Nope, it doesn’t snow in LA of course and all the vacations I have taken have been during summer so it’s always hot where ever I go. I swear I almost froze to death when I first got here. I had to buy this huge jacket and gloves and boots and it was the worst.”

Tobin was cracking up, she had never met anyone who had never seen snow before. She grew up in Jersey and every winter was the same thing, a blanket of snow. “At least it won’t be that bad at UNC. It’ll get cold but not like up here.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can take another New Jersey winter.” She looked over at Tobin for a minute who seemed to be staring straight out the window. “Can I ask you a question.”

Tobin hesitated for a minute. “Uh-yeah, of course.”

Christen looked back at the road. “Are you scared?... To go to UNC.”

Tobin thought for a second before answering. “Yeah a little.”

“Me too.”

The moment hung in the air. Tobin had never told that to anyone, not even Kling. She was excited the day they got their acceptance letters, and even more excited when they received their scholarships but she had never said out loud that she was a little scared to leave home. She had lived in the same house her whole life and she was going to leave in three months to be some where she had never been. She wanted to tell Kling, but she was so excited to finally get out of Jersey that she never mentioned it. In the moment, closed in the car the air blowing against her skin she felt like she could say it. She was scared to leave home.

Christen pulled into her driveway and put the car in park. She turned and looked over at the girl sitting in her passenger’s seat. 

Tobin could feel her looking over at her, she needed to turn her head, but it was proving to be a difficult task. She took a deep breath and told herself in her head that is was going to be okay. She looked over at her, the light from the street lamps shining through the window hitting her skin that was still a little shiny from sweat. _Maybe her eyes are grey._

“Thanks for the ride.” She said simply.

Christen nodded her head. “Yeah no problem.”

In her head she was screaming to get out of the car. It was a simple command that Tobin’s body was just not listening too. She sat there looking over at Christen. _No, her eyes are green._

“So are you guys doing anything tomorrow?” Christen asked.

“You have really pretty eyes.” _Oh shit why did you say that? That was an in head thought!_ “Uh… I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean to say that.” She said quickly.

Christens smile fell. “Oh, okay.”

“I have to go.” Tobin said then got out the car and walked up to her house without looking back. 

She closed the door behind her and pushed her back against it. She took a deep breath and tried to slow her breathing so her heart would slow down. What the hell just happened? Why would she say that? Why would she say she had nice eyes? Because she has nice eyes. Why would she say she was pretty? Because she is pretty. But why say it out loud? Tobin slid down and sat on the ground. She took out her phone and clicked on Kling’s names.

\--Dude, I fucked up.

Meghan had been waiting by her phone, she knew either Tobin or Christen would be texting her after their car ride, she just never thought it would be something like this. She texted back.

\--What happened?

Tobin hit the back of her head on the door a few times before texting back.

\--Meet me at the tree.

The tree was the exact middle spot between Tobin’s house and Meghan’s house. They had measured one time when they were twelve and had nothing better to do with their lives. There was a tree with thick branches, they would climb on top and that was the one place they could both say anything they wanted and everything would be okay. It was the spot they both felt the most comfortable. 

Tobin was in the tree, one leg hanging down past the branch the other up against her chest, she hugged it close resting her chin on her knee. As Meghan approached she saw the hurt look on her friends face, she climbed up and got comfortable on the branch that was just a little higher and only a little bit away from Tobin’s branch. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, Meghan could sense her friend was not going to be the first to say something so she spoke up.

“What happened?”

Tobin didn’t look up at her friend. “I told Christen she has pretty eyes.”

Meghan almost laughed but caught herself. “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know.” Tobin’s head moved up and down as she talked because she didn’t remove her chin from her knee. “It was stupid.”

“Okay tell me exactly what happened.” Her voice was calm and soothing.

“We were driving to my house, nothing crazy, ‘Still Into You’ that Paramore song came on and I said I liked them and she said she liked them too. We talked for a bit and then she pulled in the driveway. She asked if we were doing anything tomorrow and I said ‘You have really pretty eyes.’” Tobin covered her face with her hands. “Oh God, why did I do that?”

“It doesn’t sound that bad.” The situation was funny and the silly girl wanted to laugh but she could see how tormented her friend was and tried to keep her voice even. “I mean so you told her she has pretty eyes, it could have been worse.”

Tobin quickly looked up at her, eye brows knitted together. “Then I took it back.”

“You took it back?” she was shaking her head.

“Yeah I said, ‘I didn’t mean to say that.’ And then I left.”

It was too much, Meghan started to crack up. “How do you take something like that back?”

Tobin took a piece of bark off the tree and threw it at her friend. “It’s not funny, dude.”

She swatted the bark from her face. “I’m sorry Tobs, but it’s pretty funny. Only you would take back a compliment to a girl.”

“Thanks.” Tobin said with an attitude. “Why are we friends again?”

The shorter girl was crying laughing trying to balance herself on the branch. “Because I am going to fix this.” She stopped her laugh after wiping a tear from her eye. “Okay this is what you need to do; text her and tell her that you are a fool and you would like to make it up to her by taking her to lunch tomorrow.”

“What?” she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Admit to being a fool, she will think it’s cute, trust me. Then take her on a date. You two are both off tomorrow so you can go get some food.”

“I don’t want to take her on a date.” The words came out as if she was offended by the idea.

Meghan got serious. “Oh come on Tobin, you like her.”

“What? No I don’t.”

“Dude, come on. I see the way you look at her. You like her.”

“I don’t even know her.”

“That’s what the date is for.” She leaned forward on the branch. “Take her on a date and get to know her.”

Tobin shook her head and climbed down from the tree. She didn’t even look up before walking in the direction of her house. She heard her friend calling after her but she didn’t turn around until she felt a hand on her shoulder spinning her on her heels.

“Dude what the hell?” Meghan asked angrily.

“I’m not asking Christen on a date.” The taller girl said, almost screaming. 

“Why?” Meghan threw her hands in the air. “Christen is great. She is smart, and funny, and crazy hot, and sweet, and she plays soccer. Jesus Tobin, she is pretty much perfect.” In the back of her head she wanted to tell Tobin how Christen felt about her. Maybe if the shy girl heard that she had a chance with Christen she would change her mind about her feelings, but that would be breaking friend code, and Meghan was not about to put Christen in that situation.

“So you ask her out.” Tobin was getting upset, but she didn’t know why. She had never been upset like this before.

“What, why would I do that?” Meghan was confused by where all this was coming from.

Tobin crossed her arms in front of her. “She’s pretty much perfect.”

“Yeah for you.” She took a few steps back. “What is your problem?”

“I don’t like Christen.” Tobin screamed.

Meghan lowered her eyebrows. “Fine, you don’t like Christen.”

There was a moment of silence. Neither of them had ever been in this situation before. They stood there, both of them crossing their arms and standing to the side not looking over at each other. Whatever happened, they were both confused by it. 

Tobin looked over to her friend who was digging a small hole in the ground with the tip of her shoe. “I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

She let out a quick breath. “Yeah it was.”

“I just… I don’t have feelings for Christen. Yeah she is great, but I don’t feel that way about her.”

There was no doubt in Meghan’s mind that it was a lie, at least one brought on by denial but she was not in the mood to fight, and she didn’t not want to put tension between them over something so stupid. “Okay, I believe you.”

Silence came again, but just for a second before Tobin spoke up. “So what do you think I should do?”

“About the car situation?” she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Wait until Sunday and apologize, I guess.”

Tobin nodded her head, she could tell her friend was no longer in the mood to talk about it. “Yeah you’re probably right.” She waited for a few minutes and when she didn’t get a response she said, “Well I’m going to go home. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Okay.” Was all the upset girl said before heading back to her house.

They didn’t fight. They did but it was always over something easy to fix. How was this situation going to be easily fixed? Meghan walked slowly through the trees kicking pine cones and rocks as she walked. Tobin did like Christen and she knew it. She knew Tobin better than Tobin even knew herself. She had been looking after that girl for the last fifteen years and she knew how she got when she liked someone, but what was she supposed to do when Tobin was in such denial. What was it about Christen that made her fight it so much? Whatever it was she was going to figure it out, but for now, for the sake of their friendship she had to leave it alone.

Tobin reached the back gate to her house and walked into the back yard. For the last fifteen years she and Meghan had played back her almost every night. She remembered the day her dad put the goal in the back, they spent hours kicking a ball into it, taking turns playing goalie. Meghan was the best person in her life, the only person she could trust with everything in her life, well almost everything. But she didn’t like Christen, there was no way she did. Sure she thought Christen was attractive. And yes, she was smart and funny and now Tobin knew she had good taste in music. Yeah so she played soccer, like really well, like crazy well, but that didn’t mean anything. Right?

She went to her room and flopped down on the bed. Why was she so upset about all of this? She took out her phone and brought up Facebook. She typed in Christen's name and brought up her page. She looked through her wall, she had updated her status: Soccer in the Park is the best end to a hard work day. She tagged almost everyone who played in the park. If Tobin did like her, it wouldn't be that bad, Christen was pretty great. Any girl who thought soccer was the best end to a day was awesome. Plus she was really pretty. She clicked on her photos and looked through them again. All her captions were either thoughtful or funny. Tobin clicked on the album labeled **Soccer** and searched through all the photos of her playing. She saw a photo of her being held up by her team, they must have been celebrating a goal or a win. Tobin remembered back to the goal at the game, how they hugged, how she looked in her eyes, how she wondered what it would be like to kiss her. Maybe she did have feelings for Christen.

She closed the app and clicked on the messenger bubble. She brought up Meghan's name and started to type. She wasn't ready to admit that she might have feelings for Christen, it was not 100% just yet. So she typed something quickly to her best friend.

\--I love you.

Meghan was in her bed, laying on her back staring up at the celling. Her phone was laying on her chest when it buzzed. She picked it up and saw the text from her best friend. She smiled and typed back.

\--Love you too, loser.

 

\--------

It was Friday and Tobin and Meghan spent the entire day working out. Fridays was no soccer day, they took the whole day to just run and do other workouts. Most of the day was spent doing sprints with pushups and sit ups in between. They did work with weights for a while before going back to sprints. It was the end of the day and the sun was starting to set when they sat in the lawn chairs in Tobin’s back yard drinking water from their brightly colored bottles. 

“I hate no soccer Fridays.” Tobin said leaning back in the chair. “It sucks.”

“True, but we need to get faster.” Meghan was slummed down in her chair fanning herself with her hand. “Why is it so hot, it’s New Jersey.”

“Are we going to die in North Carolina?” She poured water on her face.

The shorter girl started to laugh. “Yeah most likely.”

The sat together complaining about the heat and imagining how hot it was going to be in the south when Tobin’s phone buzzed on the table next to them. She picked it up and scanned the message really quickly, before slapping her hand over her eyes and letting out a loud groan.

“What’s up?” Meghan popped up and asked.

Tobin set her phone down on the table. “I left my stuff in the back of Christen’s car.”

“Your soccer stuff?”

“Yup, my cleats are in the bag.” Tobin sat up and looked over at her friend. They had not talked about Christen all day. Their almost fight last night was too close of a call for either of them to bring the subject up anytime soon, but the subject was here and Tobin defiantly did not want to go pick up her stuff, but she did need her cleats. 

Meghan read the look on her face. “You want me to go get your stuff from Christen’s house, don’t you?”

The shy girl nodded her head and gave her friend a smile.

“Oh come on.” Meghan threw her head back. “Dude it’s not that big of a deal. Just go apologize, get your stuff and get out.”

“I can’t and you know I can’t.”

As much as she wanted Tobin to face Christen hoping it would wake her up to how she really felt, torturing her was not the way to do it, at least not yet. Reluctantly she agreed and soon she was off in Tobin’s car headed to Christens house.

The house was huge, two tall stories with large windows and a huge porch. Meghan got out of the car and made her way to the door taking in everything was she walked by it. She knocked on the huge wooden door and waited for a response.

Christen came out of the house as she saw Meghan she frowned.

“Don’t look happy to see me or anything?” Meghan joked.

“No, I am happy to see you. I just thought…”

“Tobin would pick up her own stuff?” Meghan finished her sentence. “Honestly she is kind of freaked out about the whole thing with you two last night.”

“I figured she might be.” Christen stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She walked to the steps of her porch and sat down. “I don’t even know what happened.”

Meghan took that cue to sit next to her. “She told you that you have pretty eyes.”

Christen scoffed to herself. “Yeah then she changed her mind.”

“That was the nerves talking.” Meghan told her quickly. 

“I don’t know, I just thought...” Christen sounded so disappointed. “After the goal we had this _moment_ it was no big deal, or maybe it was, I thought it might be… I don’t know.”

“Tobin is weird…”

“Does she like me?” The question was said in a hard tone, rushed like she had been wanting to ask it for a while and it kind of slipped out without her meaning to. Christen turned her head and looked at her friend. “Has she actually said she likes me? Yes or no?”

So the question that formed in Meghan’s mind was, should she lie and tell Christen what she knows is true, or should she tell her the truth and keep best friend code intact. Tobin liked her, it was obvious, but she did just have a fight with her because Tobin distinctly said she did not like her. So she could help her friend and tell Christen she liked her, or she could keep the code intact and let it play out.

Meghan chewed on her bottom lip for a second before she made a split second decision. “She.. has not technically said she likes you.”

Christen lowered her head. “Then what am I doing?”

“Not giving up.” Meghan said quickly turning to face the disappointed girl. “Chris you have to trust me. Tobin is a complicated person. She is a huge ball of nerves and has no idea how to express how she feels.”

“Or maybe she just doesn’t feel anything… for me.” A tear started to roll down her cheek. “God I am so stupid. I am crushing on a girl that doesn’t even like me back. This is pathetic.”

“No it’s not, Chris…”

“Uh- you know what Kling, I’m actually going to go inside. I’m kind of tired.” She stood up and pulled the collar of her shirt to her face to dry the tears that were beginning to come down her cheeks. She held up the navy blue bag and pushed it towards Meghan. “Here’s her stuff. I’ll… I’ll see you Sunday.”

Meghan took the bag from her hands. “Chris.”

“I’ll talk to you later okay.” She walked into the house without saying anything else.

There she was, holding the bag in her hand looking up at the front door that was just closed. It was almost as if Christen had closed the door on the whole situation. Meghan felt the anger start to build up inside her. Why didn’t she just tell Christen that Tobin had feelings for her? Now what was she supposed to do? Is she supposed to tell Tobin what happened? She got in the car and drove back to Tobin’s house walking to the back yard where Tobin was still sitting in the chair but now she was tossing a soccer ball in the air and catching it.

“Hey.” Meghan said throwing the bag on the table.

Tobin grabbed at the bag opening it up and looking at her cleats. “Thanks dude, you are a life saver. I promise I am going to apologize to Christen, but I just want to wait until Sunday, let the situation die down a bit.”

“Yeah I wouldn’t bring it up with her.” Meghan leaned back in the chair.

“Why, what happened? Did she say something?”

“She is just not in a good mood.” She wasn’t going to tell Tobin the whole thing. If she refused to break best friend code with Christen, she was not going to break friend code with Tobin. “I don’t think she will be in a good mood on Sunday either. I would just let it go for now Tobs.”

“Oh.” Tobin sat back in her chair. “Okay, if you think it’s best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I hope everyone enjoyed it. 
> 
> The next chapter should be coming soon, as long as work permits!! 
> 
> Every time a reader comments or kudos a dog gets a belly rub!!


	4. Take the Leap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin get's her eyes open to her feelings. Christen and Meghan become closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update. I literally moved to a different country and had a whole lot to do to get settled. As always I hope everyone likes it and I will try and update a lot more frequently.

There they stood, yet again, right outside the store. Tobin took a long sip from her iced coffee and shook the cup the way she always did when it was almost empty. Meghan drank the last of her Arizona ice tea, putting her head back to get the last of it from the huge can. She squeezed the aluminium crushing the can and tossed it into the recycling bin next to Tobin. The last of the ice coffee was finished off and the cup discarded in the same can. They stood side by side just staring at the building as they did every morning.  
   
“Ready?” Tobin breathed out.  
   
Meghan took a deep breath in. “Second week.” She said simply. “Let’s do the damn thing.”  
   
“Don’t ever say that again.” Tobin laughed.  
   
They headed into the building, pushing open the door and heading to the back where they belonged. It was Sunday and they were starting on their second week at work. Their Saturday was uneventful. They went to work and cleaned the stock room in order to get ready for Sunday inventory day. After work they played soccer for a few hours before they went their separate ways.  
   
Throughout the day Tobin would look in front, she didn’t know why, Christen was off on Saturdays and the only person up front was the dude that worked nights and weekends. Even if Christen was at the counter working, she didn’t know what to say to her. What do you say to someone after something like the car thing happened? Besides Kling had told her to leave it alone for a while, and normally that wouldn’t bother her, she would just avoid Christen at all cost, but for some reason the whole thing was eating at her.  
   
“At least you guys are getting her earlier so you’re not late from standing out there for ten minutes.” Ashlyn was inside her office on the computer.  
   
“We are learning.” Meghan said with a huge smile.  
   
The two girls stood outside the door way waiting for what had now become a daily ritual with Ashlyn. The blonde typed on the computer for a few more seconds before turning to them and taking off her thick rimmed glasses.  
   
“Okay go.” Ashlyn said.  
   
“Did Arsenal scout you straight out of college?” Tobin asked.  
   
Ashlyn shook her head slightly. “Not really. I talked to them my junior year and the coach told me to come out for tryouts when I graduated. So I was scouted, but not really scouted, I still had to try out, but I did join the team right after school was over.” Then she turned to Meghan and waited.  
   
“I saw that Ali played midfield her senior year, why did she switch, and why did she switch back to defender?” Meghan tried to look as serious as possible but she was too much of a silly person to be completely serious.  
   
“She switched because one of her teammates got hurt and her coach wanted to try her out. She switched back because she hated it, and it was easier to get a spot on a pro team as a defender when she graduated. If there are some technical things I have no idea, you’ll have to ask her next time she comes by.” She looked at both the curious girls as they whispered to themselves really quickly as they always did. “Okay let’s get to work.”  
   
Every morning Ashlyn would let them ask her one question each about soccer, then she would get them to work. After they clocked out they got to ask as many questions as the wanted while they walked to the parking lot. It was the only way to keep them from bombarding her with millions of questions a day.  
   
They started on inventory. It had only been a week but they already knew the job well. The stock room was mainly inventory and getting to know where everything was on the shelves. They both had clipboards and were working away, the first two hours had passed by quickly, before they knew it they were no longer alone, Christen walked into the back room.  
   
Tobin looked over to the girl who seemed to have a sad look on her face. She laid the clipboard down on the shelf and gave Christen a little wave. “Hey.”  
   
Christen looked over at her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Hey.” She said then walked over to the clock near the office door.  
   
Tobin’s heart sunk. What happened? Was that moment that awkward? Yeah it was, but so much that this is what came of it. She did say something stupid, but not that bad, at least she didn’t think it was that bad.  
   
Meghan saw Christen clock in. “Hey Chris.” She said in a cheerful voice.  
   
“Hey.” Christen said pushing her hands in her back pockets.  
   
“How was your Saturday?” Meghan could tell she was a little uncomfortable in the stock room, but she wasn’t going to let the weirdness with Tobin affect her relationship with Christen.  
   
The nervous girl bounced on the balls of her feet. “It was okay, pretty uneventful. I went for a run and just chilled out.”  
   
“How far did you run.” Yes, Meghan was forcing conversation, but she didn’t know any other way.  
   
“It was a 10K. I actually didn’t notice how far I had run until I stopped. I was in my head the whole time.”  
   
Meghan jumped at the answer. “What was your time?”  
   
“43:55.”  
   
“Damn speed racer.” She was hoping to cheer her up.  
   
Christen cracked a smile. “If I can get it down to 40mins by the end of summer then you can give me that nickname.”  
   
Even though she was impressed by the time, she could tell Christen was the type to always be improving. “Deal… If you ever need a running partner.” She pointed to herself.  
   
“I might take you up on that.” Christen said with a smile. She was not looking forward to going into the stock room, but Meghan had a way to make any situation funny which made her more comfortable. “I’m going to go get the counter ready.” She walked towards the door and looked over at Tobin for a second before walking out and heading towards the counter.  
   
Tobin watched the door swing close as Christen left. She walked over to Meghan and leaned forward laying her forehead on the leg of the shelves, letting out a loud groan.  
   
“What’s going on Tobs?” Meghan asked casually.   
   
Tobin took a huge breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth. “That was so weird. I really screwed this one up.”  
   
“You mean with Chris?” Meghan asked knowing full well what she meant. “Why is it awkward?”  
   
“She didn’t even talk to me.” Tobin complained.  
   
“She said hey to you.”  
   
Tobin looked down at her friend. “Yeah that was it.”  
   
“It’s not much less than what you two normally say to each other. What does it matter?”  
   
Tobin turned around and leaned on the shelves. “I guess it doesn’t. I just don’t want things to be weird between us.”  
   
“They’re not.” Meghan checked a few things off her list. “They are only weird if you make it weird.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head and walked away hitting the top of her head with her clipboard as she made her way back to her shelve and continued to work.  
   
Things were weird, Christen was usually cheerful and happy when she walked into the stock room. She just looked at Tobin, no smile, no wave, no nothing. Not that it mattered, because they were friends, and friends didn’t always have to be cheerful with each other, or talk about their runs, or ask about their Saturday. Besides there was nothing to tell about her weekend, and even if there was, Christen didn’t want to hear about it and Tobin did not want to tell it. Or did she?  
   
Meghan looked over to Tobin every few minutes, she was clearly frustrated. Tobin was not a giggly person, but she laughed a lot, she cracked jokes and as much as she was a quit person, she didn’t like silence, she usually brought up a topic that would make Meghan talk for an hour as Tobin made comments. Today she was quite, scribbling on the paper and counting boxes. Every once and a while she would look over to the stock room door and her lips would press together tightly, she was anxious. This whole thing with Christen was bothering her whether or not she was ready to admit it. That meant that she did have feelings for Christen, so maybe there was hope after all.  
   
The day went by quickly and soon Tobin was off to get lunch. She walked through the store and saw Christen helping a customer with a pair of shin pads. She stopped for a second and watched her. Christen was engaged with the customer so she didn’t notice Tobin looking over at her. _She is so beautiful._ Tobin said in her head. Suddenly Christen was looking over at her, Tobin shook her head and quickly walked out of the store.  
   
She ended up next door at the coffee shop, she wasn’t hungry, just tired. She had been up half the night tossing and turning thinking about work. She didn’t know what to expect with Christen and it was bothering her, making her stomach hurt a bit. Why did she have to say that to her in the car? Why did she have to take it back? Christen had pretty eyes, she could have just said it and left it at that. It would have been better if she never took it back.  
   
“Tobin.” It was a familiar voice calling her name.  
   
She turned around in her chair to see a tall girl with black hair and the distinctive serious look on her face.  
   
“Hey Hope.” Tobin said chewing on her straw.  
   
Hope walked over to her. “What are you doing here?”  
   
“Lunch break.” Tobin said tilting her head the direction of the store next door.  
   
“Oh yeah you work with Chris at The Pitch.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head and continued to chew on her straw. “Yeah.”  
   
Hope looked down at her, eyebrows knitted together. “You okay Tobin?”  
   
The clearly worried girl looked up and tried to smile. “Yeah I’m okay.”  
   
It was obvious she was not okay and Hope picked up on it instantly. She sat down across from her cupping her hands on the table. “What’s going on kid?”  
   
“You know you’re only a year older than me?” Tobin chuckled slightly.  
   
“Tobin.” Hope said in a stern voice. “What’s going on?”  
   
She had only known Hope for a week, and only hung out with her twice at the games in the park. Tobin had responded in the group text a few times and Hope was always so cool with her answers. She was only a year or so older than her yet Tobin looked up to her like she was an adult. As much as Tobin was the type to keep her troubles to herself, and Kling if she asked, something was bothering her, and for some reason Hope seemed like a good person to talk to.  
   
“It’s Christen. I really screwed things up with her on Thursday night.” Tobin opened up.  
   
“How so?” Hope asked with a genuine look of concern on her face.  
   
Tobin went into the whole story. She told her about her and Christen talking in the car and the stupid thing she said. She went in on how she and Meghan had almost gotten into a fight over it all. She drank half her coffee explaining the way Christen had said ‘hey’ to her in the morning. It took about ten minutes to get it all out, but she did.  
   
“And now I am sure Christen thinks I am a freak.” Tobin ended.  
   
Hope sat for a few seconds as if she was thinking it all over then said, “You need to ask Christen out on a date.”  
   
“What? That’s what you took from all of that?” Tobin was chuckling at her, though she was a little uncomfortable.  
   
Hope held her hands out. “Hear me out.” There was a long pause before she said. “You like Christen.”  
   
Tobin sat back in her chair. “No way.”  
   
“Yes, sweetheart you are so blind it’s insane.” Hope was sort of laughing as she spoke. “I see how you look at her. You watch her… hard.”  
   
“I don’t watch her.” Tobin gasped.  
   
“Yeah you do.” Hope said with a grin. “You watch her on the field and off. You like her. What is the big deal?”  
   
“It’s not a big deal.”  
   
“Then please, give me one good reason to not ask out the smart, funny, incredibly beautiful soccer player that is literally right in front of you.”  
   
Tobin hesitated. She thought for a second. She had an excuse. She knew what to say. At least she thought she did. In all reality, she had only one excuse not to ask Christen out, and it was the fact that she didn’t really know a lot about her, but like Kling had said, she should get to know her. Tobin shook her head.  
   
“See you don’t have a reason.” Hope said crossing her arms on her chest and leaning back. “You’re just scared.”  
   
She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table. Was she scared? Christen was everything that people had described, completely Tobin’s type, and maybe she did like her, maybe she _was_ just scared.  
   
“You know what the greatest part about this whole thing is?” Hope asked happily.  
   
Tobin looked up at her. “What?”  
   
Hope leaned forward. “She likes you too.”  
   
The corners of her mouth stretched to a huge grin, before she shook her head and gave a nervous little laugh. “No way… I mean how could she?”  
   
“How could she not?” Hope chuckled. “Tobin, you’re kind of a stud.”  
   
“No I am not.” Now Tobin was squirming in her seat trying to make eye contact with the girl in front of her.  
   
“Gah, you two and your lack of confidence.” Hope leaned forward. “Tobin you have some serious swag, trust me. I’m not into girls, but if I was… I’d be into you.” She looked her up and down causing Tobin to blush. “Christen is into you. So stop being scared and go ask her out.” She stood up with a look of accomplishment on her face. “I have to go. Take the leap Tobin, it’ll be worth it.”  
   
Tobin sat at the table for a few more minutes. Was it that simple? It couldn’t be. She had been running through her head with crazy ideas for the past week. It could not be as easy as she was scared to ask Christen out. I mean, she didn’t have feelings for her. Or maybe she did and she was just being stubborn about it. Maybe she was just being ridiculous about the whole thing.  
   
Her excuse had been because Christen didn’t give her the same feelings Alex did. She had a crush on Alex for almost five years, and it was defiantly not the same feeling Christen gave her. But Alex was a completely different person. Maybe Tobin was afraid to ask Alex out, but she shouldn’t be afraid to ask Christen. She was eighteen now, no longer in high school, she was headed to a top college to play soccer. She was no longer that girl that would get nervous whenever Alex looked at her. She could do this.  
   
Maybe she did have swag. She stood up quickly almost tripping over her own feet. Okay maybe she didn’t have swag, but she must have had something. She looked at her reflection in the window of the coffee shop. Her hat was on backwards pushed far back on her head. Her hair was down today and pushed behind her ears. So she wasn’t hot, at least not in her mind, but she was fit as hell and she had a good solid face. _Jesus, don’t describe your face as solid._ She was good looking, she had been told that a few times and not just by her mom. She was a good height, not too tall and not too short, average but in a good way. You know what fuck it, she was good looking, she could say that about herself. She was awkward, but good looking, and she could do this.  
   
She walked out of the coffee shop and into the store. Christen was at the counter and she had a line of people. Okay she could do this, but maybe when she wasn’t so busy. Tobin walked into the stock room and saw Kling writing on the clipboard, she gave her a huge smile.  
   
“Did you drink four espressos again?” Meghan joked.  
   
“Nope. I have swag.” Tobin said practically running to her friend.  
   
Meghan raised an eyebrow. “No… you don’t.”  
   
“Okay maybe I don’t.” She laughed. “But, I talked to Hope and she said I was good looking.”  
   
“Hope Solo? She said you were good looking? Nice, she’s hot, but like in a scary way, like she would have you to do things that you’re not exactly sure of just yet.”  
   
“I get that vibe from her too.”  
   
They both paused for a minute lost in thought before Tobin broke their train of thought. “Anyways, dude I’m sorry.”  
   
“For what?”  
   
“Thursday night, I was an ass.” Tobin said lowering her head. “I was being an idiot because, well because I was afraid, but you were right.”  
   
Meghan was just happy to hear she was right she almost forgot to ask. “About what?”  
   
“I think…” She hesitated for a second, she had never said something like this out loud before and she had to make sure she was ready. After a few seconds she said. “I might like Christen.”  
   
The short girl lit up, she put the clipboard on the shelf. “I knew you liked her. Dude this is great. Are you going to ask her out?”  
   
Tobin played with her hands. “I want to, I don’t really know how. I mean I really blew it that night.”  
   
“Don’t even worry about that, dude. Just go ask her. It’ll be okay.”  
   
“Well I’ve never asked anyone out before.” Tobin started to get really nervous. “What do I say?”  
   
Meghan jumped up a bit. “Okay first apologize for being an idiot in the car. Then apologize for being and idiot and sending me to get your stuff on Friday. Then ask her if she would like to go to a movie with you.”  
   
“A movie, I thought you said lunch.”  
   
“Yeah that was before you double messed up, now it’s a movie and probably dinner.” She was giddy with excitement. “Honestly it doesn’t matter what you two do, just go ask.”  
   
Tobin took a deep breath and smiled. “Okay, here I go.”  
   
She felt her hands start to shake. This was the first time in her life she was ever going to ask a girl out.  
   
When she was thirteen she heard a term on a movie that confused the crap out of her, but also cleared something's up. On the movie a girl said she was a lesbian, she was telling her friends about how she liked girls the way girls liked boys, and it hit Tobin like a ton of bricks.  
   
She was thirteen and at that age the girls around her were already liking boys, but she had no interest. She was more focused on soccer.  Liking a boy wouldn’t help her corner kick or improve her dribbling skills. Liking a boy wouldn’t get her anything, so she always thought she would be interested in a boy whenever she could have time, but in the moment she just didn’t have time for boys, or anything that wasn’t soccer or school… or church.  
   
Every time she was getting ready for a game she heard the girls in the locker room talk about the boys they liked, how they thought about them all the time. How they wished they could talk to them, but they were way too nervous. Their friends would tell them to talk to him and everything was okay. Tobin was never nervous to talk to a boy, it wasn’t the big deal, they were just boys, sure they sucked at soccer and some of them smelled really bad, but they were okay, there was nothing to be nervous about. Tobin didn’t really talk to anyone, but when she did talk to a boy she just talked, she said what she had to say then ended the conversation.  
   
There was one boy in particular that every girl seemed to be nervous to talk to, a tall kid that was in the same math class as her for all four years of high school named Christian, a midfielder. He was a good enough looking dude, with short brown hair and a thin frame. Tobin sat next to him and she would have conversations about soccer with him. They were both midfielders so it was easy to strike up a conversation about their positions and the difference in the men’s game versus the women’s. In ninth grade after a few weeks of talking they made a pack to help each other with their game. The women’s games were before the men’s at school and the boys would always watch them play, Tobin and Kling would watch the boys play taking mental notes and making comments. The next day in math Tobin would give Christian notes and he would do the same for her. It never made her nervous, he was a great player and his advice was always really good. They would say ‘hey’ in the hallway when they passed by, and he would always invite her to the soccer parties, though she never took him up on it. Tobin never understood why other girls got nervous around Christian, he was kind and smart and funny at times. There was nothing to be nervous about. The only person she was nervous to talk to was the star forward on her team, Alex Morgan.  
   
Alex was cool and everyone liked her. Everyone in school wanted to be her friend, she dated a few guys in ninth and tenth grade, then all of a sudden she was just _single_ , though she was asked out continuously by several guys. She went to every party, hosted a few herself. She would dance in the back of the soccer bus with the rest of the girls on road trips. In the stands at the boy's games she would cheer loud and make a scene with the rest of the team, causing the parents to look over and laugh at the group. Even the teachers liked her, always laughing at the jokes she made and picking her for lead roles in class. She was the co-captain of the team taking the arm band whenever the defender JJ would come off the field. In every sense of the word Alex Morgan was popular.  
   
The more Tobin thought about it, the more she realized that Alex was making her feel the way Christian made the other girls feel. She realized that she thought about Alex all the time, and it wasn’t just soccer. She thought about how cool it would be to just hang out with her. She thought about how great it would be to sit around and talk to her. First she just thought she really wanted to be her friend. Then she realized that every time Alex said anything to her she would clam up and walk away. Every night she would kick herself for not talking to her. She realized that she didn’t just want to talk to Alex and hang out with her she wanted to hold her hand, she wanted to be close to her. But that wasn’t normal, that’s not how she was supposed to feel about her.  
   
Tobin had an awkward conversation with her mother about going to her sophomore homecoming dance. Her mother told her that a boy would ask her, and Tobin said firmly that she didn’t want a boy to ask her. One day after an away game that her parents made it to Christian was talking to Tobin in the parking lot next to the bus, no big deal just about the game and how Tobin should look up more. It was after the bus ride when Tobin’s parents were taking her and Meghan home that her mom asked about the boy she was talking to. “He’s cute.” was her exact words, and Tobin blew them off saying it was just a boy. It was in that moment she decided that her mom was not going to understand how she felt about girls. Tobin’s family was very religious, and so was she for that matter, but she couldn’t help how she felt, this was just who she was. But maybe she would save telling her parents for after she had moved out and could support herself, just in case. Besides all she really knew about herself back then, was she like Alex, and that didn’t for sure make her 100% gay. At least that’s what she needed to tell herself in that moment.

It was summer before senior year when Alex came out to the team. She did it so casually, just said it like it was no big deal, and to the team it wasn't. Her best friend, Morgan Brian came out a few weeks later, everyone accused them of being together, but they always denied it. Tobin remembered thinking Alex and Morgan were together and it made her angry, like wanted to punch Morgan in the face angry. She had never been angry like that before. There was no denying it then. She like Alex and that was not going to change.  
   
For Tobin, it was sophomore year when she picked up the phone and texted Kling, it was a simple text one she had written a million times and erased, only this time she sent it: I think I’m gay. It was a few minutes before Meghan wrote back: I figured. Tobin laughed out loud, of course Meghan knew, she knew everything about her. Then another message came in: Me too. It was simple but it made her feel so much more comfortable. They were fifteen and they had come out to each other, it was easy, and now a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.  
   
Tobin found it all easy to deal with because neither she or Meghan cared about dating at least that’s what they told each other. They only cared about soccer. Sure Meghan had pried out the fact that Tobin like Alex out of her one night when she just would not shut up about it, but that was as far as it went. Tobin made Meghan admit she had a crush on Alex’s best friend Morgan, and they talked about how cool it would be if they could date them and be a big best friend couple thing, but they knew it would never happen so they focused on soccer.  
   
There was no time for a girlfriend. The goal in life was to get a soccer scholarship to a big soccer school and go off together and have the best four years of their lives. Then they would get picked up by the Portland Thorns and get an apartment together. After a year of playing they would get the call for the National Team and they would play soccer on the big stage. Maybe after that they could think about dating.  
   
But here she was, walking out of a room ready to ask out a girl, and not just any girl she was ready to ask out Christen Press. Her heart wasn’t pounding in her chest the way she thought it might be, it was going slow. She wasn’t sweating the way she normally did, she was actually cool. Tobin thought she might be having a stroke for a second, why was she so calm?  
   
Christen was finishing with her last customer, she was beautiful with a huge smile on her face. Her hair was pulled back in a lose ponytail. Tobin just watched her for a second as she laughed at some joke the boy at the counter said. She had a great laugh, it was soft but cheerful and it made Tobin smile. It was like lightning, the thought that popped in her head: She could do this.  
   
She walked towards her trying to control the smile that was on her face. Christen looked over at her, the smile dropped but it was only for a second. Christen had noticed how happy Tobin looked and smiled too. Tobin was almost there, the words playing over in her head, she could do this. Right as she was a few steps from the counter she heard her name in a voice she had not heard in a while.  
   
“Tobin.”  
   
The voice was a little raspy but soft and it made Tobin stop in her tracks. She turned around to see a girl with long brown hair and piercing blue eyes looking right at her.  
   
“Tobin, hey.” The girl walked up to her.  
   
Tobin took a deep breath. “Alex.”  
   
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Alex was smiling, it was the same smile Tobin had thought about almost every night her entire high school years.  
   
"I work here." She said surprised words came out of her mouth.  
   
Alex looked down at her shirt and giggled. "Oh yeah duh. Man you are so lucky, you get to work at a soccer store, I would kill for that. I work at an office supply store. It sucks." Alex was so casual and cool, her hands moving as she spoke.  
   
Tobin nodded her head, was this really happening to her. "Yeah I be.”  
   
Alex laughed, she had a nice laugh. "I'm just working there to save up some money for school, and to buy the new Nikes."  
   
"The hypervenom phantoms?" Tobin was extremely excited.  
   
"Hell yeah." Alex said looking over to the cleats high on the shelf. "Those are my dream shoes. I tried on a pair last week, kicked a few balls around, it was like kicking a pillow." Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back, before looking to Tobin and smiling again.  
   
"Yeah those are the ones I want." She tucked her hands in her pocket.  
   
"I'm totally hitting you up for your store discount when I have the money." Alex joked.  
   
Tobin was staring at her, but she was aware enough of herself to let out a laugh. “Yeah maybe if you are lucky.” _Was that a joke? Was Tobin joking with Alex Morgan._  
   
Alex started to chuckle. “I can get you a discount on pens.” She was still laughing, and it was nice to hear it again, her low scratchy voice brought Tobin back to all the times in high school when she would just listen to her talk and laugh with her friends. Alex looked at Tobin and tilted her head to the side. "You know what, I think this is the first time you and I have ever talked."  
   
Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "No way."  
   
"Yup, we have been on the same team since juniors and we have never talked." Alex said with a little laugh. "I mean it's partially my fault I never wanted to break up you and Meghan, I never really went up to you and said anything."  
   
Tobin smiled, but it was a nervous curious one. "What do you mean?"  
   
"You two were always so hyper focused on soccer, no one really knew how to talk to you. For a while I thought you guys were dating, then I realized there was no way you two were that focused on the game and dating each other. I mean you never talked about anything else but soccer."  
   
"Yeah." Tobin nodded slightly embarrassed.  
   
Alex chuckled. "You two never came to any parties, you never hung out. Even on the bus to games you say in the front and talked through the game before and after. It was intimidating."  
   
Embarrassed by the synopsis of her high school life Tobin rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "Yeah we were pretty into it."  
   
"It paid off though right?" Alex asked happily. "You two are going to UNC in the fall."  
   
"Yeah." Tobin confirmed proudly. "Yeah full ride."  
   
"Well duh. There was no way Tobin Heath wasn’t going full ride to university. You were the best one on that field."  
   
"Thanks." She looked down shyly. "You were amazing too. Aren't you going to Berkley?"  
   
"Yup. I'm kind of nervous."  
   
Tobin leaned forward a bit. "Me too." She said quietly  
   
Alex nodded her head. She placed her hands in the pockets of her jean shorts. "I can't believe I am actually talking to Tobin Heath after all these years."  
   
"You could have just talked to me." Tobin had no idea where that came from, she knew she wouldn't have ever been able to talk to Alex back then.  
   
"I tried, Meghan always answered."  
   
"Yeah, Kling tends to answer for me." Tobin laughed. "I'm surprised she hasn't come out here yet."  
   
"She works here too?"  
   
"Yeah we work the stock room together."  
   
"Oh man, I bet it's all soccer all the time back there."  
   
Tobin chuckled at the idea. "Uh yeah pretty much. We are still pretty focused on it."  
   
Alex lowered her head a bit and looked up at Tobin through eyelashes. "Are you too focused to maybe get dinner sometime?"  
   
The question smacked Tobin in the face. She had to stop herself from taking a literal step backwards. "Are you serious?"  
   
Alex giggled and lowered her eyebrows. "Yeah, I mean if you want to."  
   
"But you're Alex Morgan." Tobin accidentally said.  
   
Alex laughed out loud then reached out and touched her arm gently. "And you're Tobin Heath.”  
   
Tobin felt like her heart could stop right then. Alex was touching her arm, she was actually reaching out and making physical contact with her.  
   
Alex saw the awestruck look on her face and broke Tobin out of her thought. “So Tobin Heath, would you like to get dinner with me?"  
   
Tobin took a breath. "Uh-yeah."  
   
Alex was laughing at all of Tobin's reactions. "Okay, I work weird days, so how is Wednesday?”  
   
She nodded her head. "Yeah Wednesday is good."  
   
Alex took the pen that was hanging on a lanyard around Tobin's neck. Tobin felt her hand gently brush against her stomach. This was officially the coolest day of her life.  
   
Still with a huge grin Alex got a small piece of paper out of her pocket and wrote something down. "Here's my number text me later and we can figure out the details."  
   
Tobin took the tiny slip of paper from her and looked down at the numbers. There it was, the thing she had wanted for over four years. Alex touched her arm one more time before saying goodbye and walking out the store.  
   
Tobin looked at the paper in amazement. How did this happen? How did she just get Alex Morgan's number? She smiled and looked up. Christen was standing at the counter helping a customer. Tobin shoved the slip of paper in her pocket then turned around and headed for the stock room.  
   
Meghan was on her as soon as the door swung shut. "So how'd it go?"  
   
Nervously Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "Uh, it kind of didn't."  
   
"What? Did you chicken out?" She slapped her friend on the shoulder. "Go back out there and talk to her."  
   
"I didn't chicken out." Now she had to find a way to say this. "I ran into Alex."  
   
Meghan stepped back from her friend. "Alex Morgan."  
   
A smiled appeared on her face from just hearing the name. "Yeah she was out there getting something. Uh she kind of asked me out."  
   
"And you said no. Right?"  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows. "Why would I say no?"  
   
"Because you like Christen."  
   
"No I said I might like a Christen." She tried to play it off. "I wasn't sure."  
   
"Dude." Meghan said with a shocked look on her face. "You like Christen."  
   
"I don't know how I feel about her. I do know how I feel about Alex." Tobin started to walk across the stock room. "I've liked Alex since the eighth grade, and I finally talked to her, and I have a date. I thought you’d be happy."  
   
This was a hard situation for Meghan. Was she happy that Tobin talked to Alex? Maybe, I mean if it was two years ago then she would be way more excited, but she went out there to talk to Christen. Alex was okay, she seemed like a nice enough girl, but Christen was the girl Tobin was supposed to be with. But this was her friend, the one person in life that supported her through everything, so Meghan took a breath and did what's good friend would do.  
   
"Of course I am happy for you." It wasn't completely true but she needed to say it. "I am just shocked. I mean you couldn't even talk around Alex and now you're going on a date. That's a lot really fast."  
   
Tobin shrugged. "I don't know. I mean I was nervous but I just talked."  
   
"Well I am happy for you." Meghan said again trying to sound more convincing, trying to convince herself really. "I mean this is what you have always wanted."  
   
Tobin started to work again. This is what she wanted. Alex Morgan had been just and idea for the longest time. A girl in her life that she could never have. She had fantasized so many times about that exact moment, Alex talking to her, getting a date. This was what she wanted.  
   
"Hey Kling." It was Christen at the door. "You ready for lunch?"  
   
Tobin looked over to the girl standing in the door way. God she was beautiful. She stood with her hands tucked in her back pockets, her face a little worried. Tobin stopped working and just looked at her through the boxes on the shelves. She wanted to say something to her, she wanted to just talk to her, she wanted to tell her she was sorry. She wanted Christen to not be upset with her anymore.  
   
Meghan clocked out and headed out to lunch with her friend. She walked in silence the idea of Alex and Tobin floating around in her head. She wondered if she should tell Christen, or if she should just keep it to herself. Had Christen given up on Tobin, or was she just upset with the whole situation?  
   
"Are you okay?" Christen asked noticing how quite the normally talkative girl was.  
   
Meghan looked over to her. "What? Uh-yeah I'm good."  
   
"You don't seem good." Christen said trying to sound concerned and not nagging.  
   
Meghan debated in her head. She knew how Tobin felt but it also wasn't fair to let Christen think something that might not have been true. But it would hurt her, and how could she hurt her.  
   
"If I knew something that would most likely mess you up if I told you, would you want me to tell you?" The question was more confusing then she meant it to be. "Like if it would hurt your feelings, would you still want to know?"  
   
Christen tilted her head for a second. "I mean is it better for me to know or not know?"  
   
"I'm not sure."  
   
Christen thought for a few seconds. “Would it eventually make my life better?”  
   
Meghan nodded her head, but didn’t say anything.  
   
“But it will hurt now?”  
   
Meghan nodded her head once again.  
   
“But I will eventually be okay?”  
   
The shorter girl nodded again.  
   
Christen took a deep breath. “Then tell me.”  
   
“Are you sure?”  
   
“Kling, just tell me.”  
   
“Tobin has a date.”  
   
Christen stopped walking. She looked down at the sidewalk. “With who?”  
   
“Her name is Alex.” Meghan took a few steps towards the frozen girl. “She was on our high school soccer team. Tobin has liked her for a long time, but never talked to her until today.”  
   
“That was her in the store today? The brunette with the long legs? The one that was talking to Tobin?”  
   
Meghan thought for a second. “Yeah that’s her.”  
   
Christen took a step back until she found herself leaning against a newspaper stand. She tucked her hands in her pockets and took a few deep breaths. Her heart was pounding in her chest.  
   
Slowly, Meghan walked to her and stood only a few inches from her. “I’m sorry Chris.”  
   
“She’s really beautiful.” Christen said quickly. “And she’s a freaking soccer player too. Figures.” She looked up at Meghan. “Is she good… at soccer?”  
   
In her head she wanted to lie, but it was better to just her all the facts as they were. “Yeah, like really good. She’s going to UC Berkeley.”  
   
“Shut the hell up.” Christen said shocking the girl in front of her. “That’s my state.”  
   
“I’m sorry Chris.”  
   
There was a long moment of silence. Meghan was regretting telling Christen anything. She had been through a lot with Tobin and this was only going to make it worse.  
   
“No.” Christen said loudly. She looked up at Meghan with determination in her eyes. “No, it doesn’t end like this.”  
   
“Uh-what do you mean?” Meghan asked confused.  
   
Christen stood up straight. “Tobin likes me, doesn’t she?”  
   
Meghan pushed her hands in her pocket and chewed on her bottom lip.  
   
“Kling.” Christen pointed a finger at her. “You wouldn’t have been pushing me so hard if she didn’t have feelings for me. I know she is your best friend, but this can’t be how it ends. Tobin and I have something…. Right? I mean, I am not crazy. Every time I am around her, it’s like the world stops spinning. It has to be the same for her. I mean I can’t be imagining this. Can I?  She likes me. Right?”  
   
This was going against everything inside her, it was breaking best friend code, but at the same time it was helping Tobin, so it couldn’t be that bad. Meghan took a deep breath. “Yeah she likes you, I know it. I know Tobin better than I know anyone or anything and she likes you.” She decided not to tell her that Tobin was on her way to ask her our when Alex stopped her.  
   
The corners of her mouth stretched into a huge grin. “Then it doesn’t end like this.”  
   
“What do you mean?”  
   
 Christen stood up straight. “I am going to fight for her… and you are going to help me.”  
   
Meghan pumped her fist in the air. “Hell yeah I am.”  
   
They ended up at the pizza place just down the street, they had ordered food and took as seat in a booth in the back of the restaurant. Christen was playing with the paper from her straw looking into space, when Meghan broke their silence.  
   
“So how are we doing this?” She asked tearing the corners of her napkin off. “I mean how to we get Tobin to realize she has feelings for you.”  
   
“I’m not crazy right?” Christen asked, sounding a lot less confident then she did before on the street.  
   
Meghan shook her head. “No, Tobin likes you, she’s just an idiot.”  
   
“Yeah but it’s not crazy to go after someone when they are going on a date with someone else?”  
   
“It is a little, but it’s the good kind of crazy, the type that ends up being endearing in the long run.” Meghan need to convince Christen she was right. “It would be completely insane if there was no chance that Tobin felt the same way, but I am guaranteeing you she does.”  
   
“God, I still feel crazy.” She leaned forward and put her forehead against her hands. “I just, I know there is something there. I know she feels something for me. I wouldn’t feel this strongly about it if it was all in my head right?”  
   
“Right.” Meghan cheered.  
   
Christen shook her head for a second then looked up at the anxious girl in front of her. “Okay, then how do we do this? You know Tobin best, how do we get her to stop being an idiot?”  
   
Meghan was relieved that Christen was now back on board with her own plan. “Well you can’t convince Tobin of anything. She has to realize it herself. You can’t rush her, and you can’t tell her out right. It just has to happen. You just have to be a presence in her life.”  
   
“How do I do that without seeming like a crazy person? I don’t want to go Crazy-Ex Girlfriend on her. I’m not a stalker. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. This is insane.”

“No it’s not.” Meghan reached out and grabbed her hands. “Christen, I know Tobin and she likes you. I know that look she gives you, that deer in the headlights look, that means she likes you.”

“Did she give Alex that look?”

As much as she wanted to say no, she couldn’t. “Not that look, a different one. Tobin was always afraid of Alex, that’s why I am so shocked she even spoke to her today. Tobin is not afraid of you, she’s nervous. She looks at you the same way she looks at the goal when she is about to take a PK. I know that sounds insane, but that’s the most nervous Tobin gets on the field, and it’s not because she is afraid she won’t make it, she is nervous that she might let the team and herself down. So she studies it, all the time, trying to figure out what to do. She looked you up on Facebook. Tobin barley goes on Facebook unless it’s for soccer. She freaked out when she thought you were dating your friend Allie. She likes you. And that was a lot to share, so don’t tell her I told you all of that or I will for sure lose my best friend.”

“I wouldn’t tell her.” Christian said with a calm look on her face. “She really looked me up on Facebook?”

“You look her up too.”

“True. She is so cute.” She shook her head and started to focus. “So how do I become a presence in her life.”  
   
“Soccer.” Meghan said confidently. “Soccer is Tobin’s whole life. You already have the games in the park. You should come work out with us on Fridays. Then there is work. So you’re in her life a lot. And you have me, I will always be subtly reminding her how great you are.”  
   
“Thanks, you’re so sweet.” Christen said with a huge fake grin on her face. “What about Alex?”  
   
“There are too outcomes to the whole Alex Morgan situation. Tobin is either going to blow it and then we don’t even have to worry about it, or it’ll go well and we have to counter act it.”  
   
“How?”  
   
“That I don’t know yet. Tobin has never dated anyone before and I’ve never schemed to get to her to date someone else.”  
   
“Don’t call it scheming, it makes it sound dirty.” Christen said getting a chill.  
   
Meghan sighed playfully. “Okay I’ve never ‘planned’ to get Tobin away from a girl before.”  
   
“So we have our work cut out for us?”  
   
“Basically.”  
   
Christen paused. “She’s worth it… Right?”  
   
Meghan nodded her head. “Yeah she’s worth it.”


	5. Hair down, no hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group plays another game in the park. Tobin seeks some advice from the older women in her life. Alex and Tobin have their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a quick update. I finally have an idea of where I am taking this, so hopefully I'll be able type like to wind, bare with me. As always ignore the mistakes and thank you for the love.

“If you’re going to text her, you should just do it.” Kling was laying upside down in the lawn chair, her legs hanging over the back and her head hanging close to the ground. “You’ve been staring at your phone for like thirty minutes.”  
   
Tobin looked over to her friend with her face twisted with worry. “I don’t know what to say.”  
   
They had been sitting outside in Tobin’s backyard wasting time until the pickup game in the park. Meghan had spent the rest of their Sunday and all of their Monday trying to play it cool with Tobin when it came to Christen. Every once and a while she would mention something funny about Christen and Tobin would laugh, but her focus was clearly on the new phone number she had programmed into her phone but never texted. Tobin’s mind was on Alex and their date tomorrow. Being a good friend Meghan had to encourage Tobin to either text Alex or not, but just staring at a blank text bubble was not going to help anyone with anything.  
   
“Just say ‘Hey it’s Tobin.’ That’s usually what you say when you text someone who gave you their number but does not have yours.” Meghan said swaying her head so the tips of her hair brushed against the grass.  
   
“I mean shouldn’t I say something else, like more?” Tobin said never taking her eyes off the phone.  
   
“Not yet.” Meghan laughed. “Just tell her it’s you. That’s easy; it’s only three words, not even, it’s two words and a proper noun.”  
   
Tobin looked at the name at the top of her screen, Alex Morgan. This was the one name in the whole world she wanted at the top of her phone. She wanted to text her, she wanted to know information about their date. When were they going? Where were they going? Was she actually going to show up? Was this real? She needed to text her, or she would never have any of these questions answered. So she typed the message – Hey, it’s Tobin Heath -- and hesitated for a second before she hit that little blue arrow.  
   
“Okay it’s sent.” Tobin said with a heavy breath of air.  
   
Meghan flipped out of the chair. “Great, let’s go, we have like twenty minutes to get to the park.”  
   
Tobin shoved the phone into her back pack then tied her running shoes tight before meeting her friend at the back gate and heading to the street. This was going to be a slow run she was going to be thinking about that text the whole time.  
   
They ran, this time at a slower pace, not racing, just enjoying the wind on their faces. They didn’t talk, Tobin was too nervous to talk, all she thought about was Alex texting back. Meghan thought about Alex texting back too, she didn’t want Alex to be rude or mean or anything, she just wanted Tobin to lose interest in her and start talking to Christen. 

At the end of the day Meghan just wanted Tobin to be happy, but she could only be happy with Christen, yeah sure Alex was great, but she wasn’t right for her best friend and she knew it. Now she just had to wait, running next to her friend who was tied in knots waiting on a text.  
   
They got to the park in about thirteen minutes. That was the slowest they had ever run, but it was a good run. They sat at the quarter wall made of stone that separated the parking lot from the rest of the park. Tobin reached into her bag and took out her phone but all she saw was her screen saver and the time, no text. She pushed it back into her bag and took her water bottle out.  
   
“Give her some time, it’s only been like fifteen minutes.” Meghan said after taking a huge drink of water. “She’ll text back.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head. She knew that her friend was right. Alex was probably busy. Tobin was the only loser who would sit around waiting for someone to text her. Alex had friends, a job, a family, she had things to do, she wasn’t waiting around for Tobin to text her. She didn’t have much time to get down on herself before a car pulled up in the parking lot.  
   
Christen got out of the car. _Why is she so beautiful?_ She waved to them with a huge smile on her face and grabbed her bag out of the car. Gracefully she made her way to the two girls sitting on the wall waiting on her.  
   
“You two run here again?” She asked balancing her gym bag on her shoulder.  
   
Meghan spoke up. “Yeah, which means we are going to need a ride again.”  
   
Tobin’s heart started to beat faster. How was she going to ride with Christen again? The last time she had messed up everything. She was going to have to speak first and make sure Christen dropped her off before Meghan this time.  
   
“Yeah no problem.” Christen said happily.  
   
The three of them walked down to the field, Meghan was going on about work and Ashlyn bringing Ali to the store tomorrow, she had a million questions to ask. They got down to the field, they were not the first ones there, Mallory and Sam were already lacing up their cleats, and the boys were kicking the ball around behind them. The three girls sat down and started to get ready.  
   
“You three work at the soccer store, right?” Sam asked.  
   
“Yeah we do.” Christen answered.  
   
Sam pressed on the toe of her left cleat. “You’ll be getting a visit from me tomorrow. These things are about to fall apart.”  
   
Christian laughed. “You should talk to Tobin she’s the boot expert in the store.”  
   
Tobin piped up. “Uh-no, not really.”  
   
“Oh come on you are like crazy about the new Nikes.” Christian said with a smile. “You know the pros and cons of every shoe in there.”  
   
“I mean I do a lot of research.” Tobin said trying not to sound like a complete dork.  
   
“A lot.” Meghan scoffed. “You looked up cleats for three weeks before deciding on the Nikes.”  
   
“Damn Tobs, do you do anything else with your life?” It was Mallory now giggling with the other girls.  
   
Christen chimed in. “Hey, she knows what she wants. Cleats matter.” She looked over to Tobin. “If I am spending almost two hundred dollars, I’m wearing the perfect cleats, it better be like wearing clouds. Right?”  
   
Tobin gave her a huge smile. “Right.”

That was the first time someone other than Meghan had spoken up for her. Christen was sweet and took a slightly embarrassing situation and made it a lot better. Tobin was not good at explaining herself and her crazy soccer ways, that was normally Kling’s job, but it was nice to have someone else help her out. She was defiantly going to have to figure out a way to make things better with Christen. Which meant she was going to have to apologize to Christen for being a fool the last game and for being a chicken when it came to getting her cleats. This meant she was going to have to talk to her… alone.  
   
Soon everyone was on the field and they were ready to figure out the teams. They all stood in a huge circle, stretching and talking.  
   
“No way, Tobin and Christen do not get to be on the same team again.” It was Clint pointing to the two of them. “I won’t allow it.”  
   
“You can’t separate us.” Christen called out. “That’s not fair.”  
   
“Not fair?” Clint cried. “You two probably sit around all day and plan plays. There is no way I am letting you two be a team again.”  
   
“Clint I would run your ass with anyone on the field.” Christen shouted  
   
Everyone started cheering and laughing pointing at Clint and giving Christen high fives. Tobin was just excited by the fact that people thought she and Christen were that close.  
   
Tim, who seemed to be the de facto leader of the boys spoke up. “As much as I don’t want them two together on a team, Chris is right, you can’t separate them because you’re scared.”  
   
“I’m not scared.” Clint said in a high voice.  
   
“Okay, Okay.” Hope spoke up. “How about this, Chris and Tobs are on the same team, but Tobs is in goal.”  
   
All eyes went to Tobin. She looked at everyone wide eyed then shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah let’s do it.”  
   
“Oh you think you can play goal?” Tim asked in a playful tone.  
   
Tobin shrugged again. “I figure none of you will get past Kling, so I don’t have to worry.”  
   
“Hell yeah.” Kling said using Tobin’s shoulders to jump up high.  
   
“Guess its boys v girls?” Jozy called out. “We get…”  
   
“Sam.” Tim interrupted him quickly. “We want Sam, if she is willing to play goal.”  
   
“Oh, I think things are about to get serious.” Lindsey announced.  
   
“You’re giving up goal.” Sam asked with raised eyebrows.  
   
Tim took off his gloves. “If Hope is playing on the field then so am I. What do you say Sammy, you down?”  
   
Sam’s face lit up. “Hell yeah I’m down.”  
   
Hope gave Sam the spare gloves she had in her gym bag. She took off the ones she was wearing and went over to Tobin handing them off. “You got this.” She said looking in her eyes.  
   
Tobin put the gloves on, it had been a very long time since she had ever worn goalie gloves. When she was in middle school, she was the best player on the field and she scored seven goals in one half. The coach of the other team asked her coach to take her off the field and give them some kind of chance. Tobin protested, they should win on their own, not by taking her off the field. In a compromise the coach put her in goal. She had a blast, three saves, plus she talked to Kling the whole time. Seeing the entire field and reading the plays was so much fun and changed her perspective on the game, making her a better player in the long run. She hated playing goal when it was just her and Kling messing around, but in a real game, she didn’t mind the underrated position.    
   
The game started and Tobin stood in the back watching the ball move around the field from player to player. She wanted to run out there and kick the ball. She watched a few passes that she knew she could have gotten to if she was out there, but all in all the game was going the way she assumed, the girls were dominating. Hope was amazing up top, for someone who gets minimal touches on the ball she had skills. She was fast and agile, running around the boys with no issue. Tobin laughed as they all tried to strip the ball from her, but would miss completely.  
   
As Clint got the ball Tobin felt a little worried, he was coming fast, blowing past Lindsey and heading straight for her. She clapped her hands together, she was ready for this. But she never got a chance to make a save because Kling was there to take the ball away and send it up the field to Mallory who passed it up to Christen, and the ball was smashed into the back of the net.  
   
The girls started to cheer, it was the first goal of the game. Sam complained, calling it a lucky shot as she threw it to the center. Tim, with a huge smile, went up and gave her some pointers on how to stop Christens fake out. Everyone laughed at Clint as he jogged back to his end.  
   
“I feel like it might be 1-0 and Tobin hasn’t even touched the ball.” Christen called out. “I feel like I might be kicking your ass with a keeper as my midfielder.”  
   
“Yeah well I have Jozy as my midfielder.” Clint called back.  
   
Jozy threw his arms up. “Woo, don’t blame this on me.”  
   
The game continued on and Tim got a chance to show his skill, though his shot was off frame hitting the left post. 

Even though she was anxious to play she didn’t mind just watching the game which is what Tobin felt like she was doing because the boys barely got up the field, and when they did Kling was always there sweeping up and keeping Tobin unemployed.  
   
It was 4-0 when the sun was finally gone and the lights were on. The ball was headed up the field with Bobby behind it looking to the left for Tim in the wing. Tobin set herself ready for the next attempt. Just like she read, the ball was sent to Tim who had a few touches before firing just at the eighteen. It was fast and a little high but Tobin jumped up hitting it with her finger tips. She bobbled it for a second before she scoped it holing it close to her chest.  
   
There was a rush of adrenaline and she wanted to play. She had been standing in the same place, calling out plays at telling Kling where to run all game, she wanted more. She booted the ball down field and took off running. The ball came perfectly to Christen and she let it bounce off her chest and hit the ground. Tobin was down the field faster than anyone would have thought.  
   
Christen saw her, a blue streak headed straight for her. She dribbled the ball a few times, getting a little further up field, Tobin was coming fast and she was ready for it. With no stoppage, Tobin was up field and Christen kicked the ball a few feet in front of her. One, two, three touches before Tobin blasted the ball, smashing it into the back of the net.  
   
She turned around with her arms in the air, before she could do anything Christen had her arms around her waist. Without noticing Tobin put her arms around Christens neck and pulled her in tight. They jumped up and down a few times before loosening their grip on one another and looking at each other. Their eyes locked. This was the second time they were down the field alone, and celebrating with each other. This was the second time they hugged. This was the second time Tobin thought about kissing Christen. This was the first time her body leaned in.  
   
“That was so awesome.” Mallory came running up crashing into the both of them.  
   
The rest of the team was on them now, and Tobin pulled herself back, shaking her head for a second before talking to the rest of the team. Everyone was talking at once, patting them on the back and laughing at the boys.  
   
“Hey Clint, I think it was 5-0, and the goal keeper scored.” Christen said as they all headed towards the bags.  
   
“I told you guys not to let them on the same team.” Clint shook his head. “They probably planned that move.”  
   
“You’re starting to sound paranoid, buddy.” Bobby laughed. “Pretty sure they are just better than you.”  
   
“They are better than you too.” Clint said throwing a towel from his bag at his friend.  
   
“Hey I never denied that.” Bobby laughed.  
   
Tobin was out of breath, sitting across from Christen in the huge circle. She looked over and just watched her as she laughed with everyone and made jokes. She liked her laugh, the way her eyes closed when she thought something was really funny. She liked the way she would make sound effects whenever someone made fun of someone else. She would cover her mouth and yell “ohh” in a low voice. Christen was kind of a dork, and Tobin liked that too.  
   
“I can admit, that was a sweet play.” Clint said after getting bombarded with insults for over five minutes. “You two are really good together.”  
   
Sam chimed in. “Yeah you guys are like perfect together.”  
   
Christen looked over to Tobin. “Yeah we are.”  
   
Tobin smiled. “Yeah.”  
   
They both lingered on each other, their eyes locked. It was a vibration in Tobin’s bag that pulled her gaze away. She reached in her bag and took out her phone, she had a text.  
   
\-- Well hello Tobin Heath, it’s Alex Morgan. ;) –  
   
As she looked down at the words she imagined Alex’s face, the piercing blue eyes shining as she texted her. She thought about her smile and how it always seemed brighter than everyone else’s. She didn’t look back up, not even for confirmation from Meghan before she texted back.  
   
\-- How was your day? --  
   
The group started to disband and soon it was Kling, Christen, Hope and Tobin walking up to the cars. Kling was talking to Christen pretty intensely and Hope was a step behind them. Tobin felt a hand on her shoulder and realized it was Hope pulling her back to where she was, and letting the other two walk ahead of them.  
   
“So how’d it go?” the older girl asked.  
   
Tobin knew what she was talking about but she wasn’t ready to say what she had to say. “How’d what go?” she played dumb.  
   
“Christen.” Hope whispered. “Did you ask her or not?”  
   
Tobin took a deep breath. “Not.”  
   
Hope punched her in the arm. “What the hell kid?”  
   
“I’m sorry. I went to ask, but I ran into someone.”  
   
“Who?”  
   
This was going to be hard to explain too. “A girl from high school. Her name is Alex.”  
   
“And that stopped you from asked Christen out, how?”  
   
“Because Alex asked me out.” Tobin said quickly but quietly. “And I said yes.”  
   
“Tobin, you player.” Hope laughed.  
   
“It’s not like that. I’ve like Alex for a long time.”  
   
Hope nodded her head. “How do you feel about Christen?”  
   
Tobin looked up to the two girls walking ahead of them. She watched Christens hands fly in the air as she was explaining something that made Meghan crack up. She thought about how amazing she was, how she wanted to kiss her on the field.  
   
“Well… I like her too.” Tobin said in a low tone. It felt wrong to say she like two people.  
   
Hope nodded her head. “I guess you have a choice to make, kid.” They were a few feet from the wall at the parking lot when Hope stopped and turned to look at her. “You better make it fast because Christen is not going to wait forever. And if you ask me…” She put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “That look today after that goal, she’s the one you want.”  
   
Tobin stood frozen from the words. She watched Hope go up and give Meghan and Christen a hug before heading for her car. How would she know what Tobin wanted? Why was everyone telling her what she wanted? She like Christen, yes she could say that now, but she has like Alex since the eighth grade. Alex Morgan was the dream; she was what she wanted.  
   
The look on Tobin’s face was a look Meghan knew well. The great and powerful Hope must have said something that rocked Tobin’s world and now she was trying to figure it out. It was the same look she got when she hurt her ankle and the doctor told her she might not be able to play soccer for a season. That puzzled look that said, give Tobin some time to process.  
   
Christen looked down at Tobin standing there with her eyebrows knitted together. “Is she okay?”  
   
Meghan nodded her head. “Yeah give her a second, she is thinking. Hope must have said something that did not compute.”  
   
“Oh God.” Christen said turning away from Tobin’s thinking face. “Hope knows how I feel about her. Do you think she said something?”  
   
“No, I mean Hope wouldn’t do that right?”  
   
Christen scoffed. “Yeah she would. Hope has been obsessed with me asking her out ever since that first game.”  
   
Tobin was done thinking, and went up to the two girls at the car. “Hey, you guys ready.”  
   
“Are _you_ ready?” Meghan asked.  
   
Tobin gave her a weird look. “Yeah I’m ready.”  
   
They all piled in the car, Meghan in the back just like before. Christen backed out of the parking spot, no one was talking for a few seconds. Everyone in dread over what Hope had said, though Meghan and Christen had no idea what she said.  
   
“So who’s first?” Christen asked trying to break the tension.  
   
Tobin spoke first. “You can take Kling home first. If that’s cool.” She didn’t look at either of them.  
   
Meghan looked in the rear view mirror at Christen, she shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah that’s cool with me. Chirs?”  
   
Christen nodded her head. “Yeah no problem.”  
   
The drive was quitter than it should have been. Meghan talked to Christen the whole time, little things about work, the game and UNC next year. There was something going on with Tobin and it was not the time to as her about it. This was probably a ‘Tree’ thing for later tonight. Maybe Tobin was rethinking her date with Alex.  
   
They got to Meghan’s house and Christen looked back at her in the rear view mirror. Tobin hadn’t said more than a few words the entire ride. Meghan would say something and look for Tobin to confirm, but after about five minutes of distracted responses she gave up and just talk to Christen trying to make the situation as non-awkward as possible. Meghan was use to distracted Tobin, she knew how to deal with her, it was best to let her think then ask her small questions until she admitted what was wrong, but this was a delicate situation. What if she was thinking about Alex? What if she was thinking about Christen? There was no way to ask with Christen in the car, unless she wanted to deal with grumpy Tobin, which was far worse than thinking Tobin.  
   
Meghan grabbed her bag and opened the car door. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”  
   
“Yeah, I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Christen answered.  
   
Tobin didn’t stir from staring out the window, her elbow sitting on the door arm rest and her chin in her hand. She didn’t hear her best friend talking. Knowing this Meghan gave her a small tap on the shoulder.  
   
“Text me later Tobs.” Meghan said lightly.  
   
Coming out of her thoughts Tobin turned slightly and smiled. “Yeah, of course.”  
   
Meghan gave Christen a slight shrug and a smile before leaving the car. In her head she wanted to tell Christen not to pry, but to ask open ended questions. It wasn’t good to ask Tobin directly what was going on, but it also wasn’t good to avoid it. If Tobin wanted to talk, she would talk, but only with a little coxing. She watched the car pull away, she could only hope Christen was really the girl for Tobin and she would just instinctively know what to do.  
   
Tobin was still quiet, here eyebrows lowered and her lips pressed together. Christen looked over to her worried. It wasn’t a long drive to Tobin’s house, so if she wanted to talk she needed to do it now.  
   
“Tobin.” Christen said in a low tone. “You seem distracted.” Was the best thing she could come up with at the time. Christen remembered Meghan telling her that you couldn’t out right say things to Tobin, and that probably meant don’t tell her she is upset, so distracted was the best solution.  
   
The worried girl turned and looked at the bright eyes staring over at her. “I’m really sorry.”  
   
They were at a stop sign and Christen couldn’t find it in her to move the car in the moment. “About what?”  
   
With a heavy breath Tobin started to get into what she thought she never have to courage to get into. “Thursday… I was kind of… A jerk.”  
   
“No.” Christen told her quickly shifting in her seat a bit. “I mean it was… not ideal, but you weren’t a jerk.”  
   
“I didn’t mean to say it like that.” Tobin said referencing the taking back of the compliment. “I meant what I said, you do have nice eyes.”  
   
A smile came on her face. “Thanks... You do too.”  
   
Tobin lowered her head, she looked down at her hands, the dirt that was now under her fingernails. “I’m awkward.” Came out of her mouth faster than she could stop it.  
   
“Well yeah.” Christen gave a little laugh. “But it’s not a bad thing.”  
   
“I just want us to be friends.” Tobin said quickly.  
   
Christen felt her heart sink, she never thought the word ‘friend’ could cause so much pain. This wasn’t the time to be sad so she took a deep breath. “We are friends Tobin.”  
   
“It’s just…” she looked up at her, those big brown eyes glossed over with worry. “I’m awkward with everyone and I don’t want to be awkward with you.”  
   
She took a deep breath and put the car in park. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. I like you Tobin. And besides I’m really awkward too.”  
   
Tobin let out a small laugh. “No you’re not. You’re amazing.”  
   
Christen could feel her heart start to beat harder, she could only hope the girl in front of her couldn’t hear it pounding against her chest. “You would be surprised.”  
   
“Can we just… Be okay?” a half smile came across her face.  
   
“We are okay. Don’t worry about it.” Nodding and smiling Christen reached over and placed her hand over Tobin’s hand.  
   
It was electric, like all the nerves in her body were standing on end. Tobin felt the soft hand on top of hers. She looked at Christen, her eyes were a dark grey in the light from the street lamp above them. The air felt thick around her, like it was pushing them apart, but pulling them together at the same time. The moment hung in the air. Tobin could feel her spine stiffen, like her entire body was telling her to lean in. She took a deep breath and started to move forward when she heard a loud noise outside the car. It was a truck behind them, they were parked at a stop sign and someone was eager for them to move.  
   
Suddenly Christen’s hand was no longer on hers. She jumped from the sound of the horn behind them. Tobin could have sworn she heard her curse under her breath before shifting the car into drive and turning down the street.  
   
The drive was only a few minutes. The only other thing said was how they both liked the song playing on the radio. Soon they were at Tobin’s house sitting in the driveway. Christen thought about the moment, she saw Tobin move towards her, she saw the look in her eye. In her head she debated trying to recreate the situation. Maybe she should reach over again, try and hold her hand, something to bring back what they had.  
   
Tobin looked over to Christen who seemed to be thinking hard on something. “Well, I’m glad we talked.”  
   
Christen turned quickly and smiled, her hand raised a bit, wanting to reach out and touch her. “Yeah me too. You don’t have to worry about me so much Tobs, I don’t think I could ever be upset with you.”  
   
Tobin started to laugh. “Well I guess we have four years to figure that out.”  
   
She started to laugh when she realized Tobin was talking about them being at school together. Four years, that was a lot of time. Was she going to have to wait four years for Tobin to wake up? Suddenly she felt nervous, and she lowered her hand gripping her own thigh. “Yeah I guess we do.”  
   
Lowering her head Tobin thought about the day, how it felt to hug her on the field, how her hand felt on top of hers. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t. Instead she opened the door to the car.  
   
“Don’t forget your bag.” Christen said quickly.  
   
Tobin reached down where her bag was. “Thanks.” She said with a laugh. “And thanks for the ride.”  
   
“Anytime.”  
   
Holding her bag in her hand she shut the car door and gave Christen a little wave before heading to the house. She turned in just enough time to watch the car back out and take off down the street. What was that?  
   
She reached in the slim pocket of her shorts and fished out her phone. There was a message, it must have buzzed while she was in the car, but she didn’t feel it. It was Alex:  
   
\-- Blah! Don’t get me started. How was yours? –  
   
She typed the word “Great” then changed it to “Good” then erased that and typed:  
   
\--Not bad. Just got done with soccer—  
   
It was late and her parents were already in their room, the light from the television was shining into the hall from the crack in their door. They were either asleep or engrossed in whatever show they had on so Tobin slipped by the door without saying anything and headed straight for the shower. It was after a hot shower that she heard her phone buzz again, she rushed out and looked at the message.  
   
\--Lucky. I need to practice before I go to Cali and make a fool of myself.—  
   
\--You could never make a fool of yourself on the field, you’re awesome—  
   
Before she put her phone down she saw the three dots that said Alex was typing back already. Was Alex holding her phone and waiting for her to respond? No way? She must be having multiple conversations. Her train of thought didn’t get too far before the text came in.  
   
\--Well thank you. So Tobin Heath are we going to discuss this date or what ;)—  
   
Tobin leaned against the counter in the bathroom. She couldn’t help but smile. This was how she imagined Alex to be, straight forward and funny. She would watch her interactions with everyone and Alex was never one to beat around the bush. Honestly, that is what Tobin needed, someone who would get to the point and save her from being weird. She texted back.  
   
\--Where do you want to go?—  
   
The conversation continued. They decided on a place and time. Alex had to work that day too so they decided it would be best to meet each other at the restaurant. That was a good plan because Tobin probably would have freaked herself out if she had to go and meet Alex’s family on the first date. She didn’t need any other interactions, it was going to be hard enough to figure out small talk with Alex, let alone everyone else.  
   
They texted back and forth, quick messages, like Alex was doing the same thing Tobin was, lying in bed waiting for a response. The conversation turned from the date to soccer. There was a USWNT friendly coming up in a little less than five weeks and Alex was trying to convince her mom to let her and Morgan drive to Boston and stay the night. Before she knew it the tiny numbers at the top of her phone read 11:00 and Tobin realized they had been texting for about two hours. It was easy to text, she got to think, and she didn’t get distracted by how blue Alex’s eyes were. Plus, Alex was funny, she used crazy emoji’s that had nothing to do with the situation and that made Tobin laugh. In the back of her head she was kicking herself for not doing this before.  
   
\--Well I have to get up kind of early tomorrow— Alex texted.  
   
Tobin was sad by the message that meant she had to stop talking, but she had work in the morning too and it was probably better if she got some kind of sleep. –Yeah me too.—  
   
\--Go get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night Tobin Heath—  
   
That was right, she would see her tomorrow. Now she wasn’t as sad. She texted back. –Good night Alex Morgan.—  
   
Tobin let her phone rest on her chest for a second. She just had a full blown conversation with the girl she was afraid to talk to for five years. It wasn’t just a conversation, it was a long one, and she didn’t sound like an idiot the entire time. She quickly picked up her phone and read through the texts. Yeah she didn’t sound like an idiot at all, she actually sounded kind of cool. Maybe she did have swag. She plugged in her phone and set it on her end table, turning on her back and closing her eyes.  
   
Laying there for a few minutes she picked back up her phone and opened facebook. She clicked on her search bar and typed Christen Press and hit enter. She had updated her status. “Those moments when you wish you could rewind time.” What did she mean by that? Why did she want to rewind time? What moment was she talking about? Tobin closed her phone and set it back on the end table. What was Christen talking about?  
   
\--  
   
Meghan stood looking at her friend. She had stayed up waiting on Tobin to text her about the car ride, but when she woke up to her alarm there was nothing from her. There she was, standing outside their job, drinking an ice coffee with espresso and she hadn’t said a word about Christen. This was not going to stand.  
   
“What happen with Chris last night?” Meghan blurted out.  
   
Tobin almost choked on her drink. She coughed a few times before speaking. “Nothing. We talked.”  
   
“About what?” There was no way she was going to let her get away with vague answers today.  
   
“I apologized for being weird.” Tobin said shaking her cup a few times. “And we are okay now.”  
   
The shorter girl took a few steps towards her best friend. “Define okay.”  
   
“We are friends.” Tobin said side stepping away from her now wary looking friend. “There’s no weirdness now. I fixed it.”  
   
“You fixed it?” She was suspicious of the simple answer.

"Yeah Kling I fixed it." Tobin didn't say anything else.

They were inside the stock room waiting on Ashlyn to tell them what to do. Meghan stared at the side of Tobin's head, laser beams that Tobin could feel. There was something more to the story and the smaller girl was determined to figure it out.

"So how was the game last night?" Ashlyn asked, her eyes still on the clipboard in her hand.

"Awesome." Tobin answered quickly. "I played keeper."

Ashlyn looked up at this fact. "Oh? How'd you do?"

"Clean sheet." Tobin said with a cocky tone. "I'm thinking about switching."

The tall blonde started to laugh. "If you ever want to join the dark side let me know, I'll train you." She looked over to Meghan who still had her eyes transfixed on her friend’s head. "What about you, did you switch it up and play forward?"

Shaking her head and breaking her eye contact with Tobin's left ear Meghan answered. "No not this time. Hey does the team all live together, like in the dorms." She had switched to her one soccer related question for the morning.

Ashlyn nodded her head. "Yeah kind of. You'll be in the girls athletic dorms. The soccer team shares a dorm with all women's sports: basketball, volleyball, track and field, golf and all the other sports. Basically if you are some kind of athlete especially if you're on scholarship they like to keep track of you."

"Have you ever played Ali in a game?" This was Tobin's question, though it wasn't the one she had planned to ask when she first walked in the door, she wasn't even sure where it came from.

The older girl tilted her head a little. "Yeah a few times in college, but it was no big deal. Ali is the back line and I'm a keeper, she barely even got close to me."

"Yeah I guess that makes sense." Tobin said smiling a bit.

Meghan stared at her head again. Where did that question come from? Then it occurred to her, Alex was going to Berkeley, and Tobin was concerned about playing her one day. Why would she be concerned about that now? She hadn't even been on the date yet. Something was seriously going on.

As they started to work Tobin was more than distracted. Normally Meghan would leave it alone and let her think but she needed to know what was going on with her friend, and what happened in that car.

"So why didn't you text me when you got home last night?" Meghan asked trying not to sound to needy.

Tobin was on the other side of the shelf. "I don't know." She said, the boxes muffling her voice. "I got distracted."

"By what?"

"Well." Tobin paused for a second, she didn't want to blow this out of proportion but she did need to talk to her best friend. "Alex texted me."

Meghan felt excitement swell up inside her, but then die down quickly. It was good that Tobin was talking to someone but it wasn't the right someone. If she spoke to Alex after she got out of the car that meant Alex was the last person she talked to, which meant Alex was the last person she thought about and that did not bode well for Christen.

"What did you guys talk about?" As much as she wanted to scream at Tobin for not ending her night with Christen, she was still her best friend and this was still a big deal.

"We made plans for tonight. Nathan's at 630." Tobin was trying to sound casual.

"Wow that's like a real date place." Meghan said genuinely shocked.

"Yeah I'll have to wear something other than a t-shirt." She laughed at herself.

Meghan moved around the shelf to see her friend. "Are you nervous?"

"Of course." Tobin chuckled uncomfortably.

This was it, she could play to her friends nerves, shake her up. If anyone knew how to get into Tobin's head and freak her out it was her best friend. She could make it so Tobin blew the whole thing, maybe even freak her out enough to where she didn’t even go. 

She looked over at Tobin who was flipping a pen over in her hand, her face washed with worry. She smiled and said. "Don't be, it'll be great. You have swag remember."

Tobin gave her a soft punch to the arm. "Shut up."

They both started to crack up. They went back to work, Meghan talking here and there about random things. As much as she wanted to make it so Christen had a better chance, destroying Tobin's confidence was not something she could ever do. Tobin was happy, she was a big ball of nerves wrapped in anxiety but she was happy and Meghan could never stop that.

The first two hours went by quickly and soon Christen was in the stock room clocking in for the day. 

"Hey guys?" She said in a cheerful tone.

"Hey, how as your night?" Meghan asked.

Christen punched in her employee number on the black clock. "Oh you know great. My dog rolled in mud and my mom just left him for me to clean, so I gave him a bath as soon as I got home."

"What kind of dog is it?" It was Tobin talking.

Christen looked over and smiled. "He's a mutt. German Shepherd, Black Lab and Great Dane I think. There's more in there but I don't know. I rescued him a year ago. He is huge but he's a giant goof ball."

"I have a dog." It was Tobin again much to the shock of everyone even herself. "He's a German shepherd. He's a big baby."

"Yeah, Striker is the best." Meghan said happily.

Christen laughed. "You named your dog Striker?"

Tobin shrugged. "Yeah. What's your dog’s name."

Christen paused for a second before she responded in a low voice. "Beckham."

They all started to laugh. Tobin watched the girl with her hands shoved in her back pocket smile and defend herself against Meghan’s playful insults. Christen was funny, not in the way where she could tell jokes, but in the way where she was not smooth about things. This must have been the awkwardness she was talking about in the car last night. But it wasn't awkward the way Tobin was, no Christens weirdness was a word Tobin had never used to describe anything but a fluffy animal. Christens awkwardness was cute.

The day was going by quickly. The store was busy and Tobin and Meghan spent almost the whole time going from the stock room to the floor to either help out or bring things to the counter. Tobin even got to see Christen and make a few witty comments. 

Again Tobin ate lunch by herself, settling for a small ham and cheese sandwich from the coffee shop. Half of her wanted to sit and read the article on the upcoming friendly match, the other half wanted to text Alex. She had her number, she knew she wouldn't make a fool of herself, she knew how to text, but she didn't. It would be weird to text when they had a date in less than seven hours. Besides she had to think of things to say during dinner. She didn't want to waste all her good stuff in a text, so she read her article and chewed her straw until it was time to go back to work.

The crowd had died down as Tobin clocked back in. Ashlyn sent Christen and Meghan to lunch right when Tobin walked in the door. She wanted them to eat in case they got another rush. Christen couldn't stop herself from looking over to Tobin as she clocked out, after all they had been having a good day so far.

The two girls walked down the street they didn't have the energy to wander far so they ended up at the pizza place four shops down. They ordered and sat waiting for their food.

"What happened in the car last night?" Meghan finally asked what she had been dying to ask all day.

Christen had a huge grin on her face. "It was great. She apologized for being weird and I told her she had nothing to worry about. She said she wanted to be friends and she wanted us to be good. We kind of held hands, well not really, I touched her hand, but she didn't pull away. In fact, I think she was going to kiss me."

Meghan choked on her drink. "What? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I mean I don't know. Maybe." Now her confidence was going down. "We were at a stop sign and she was looking at me, and I was looking at her, and I don't know, there was something."

"Then?" Meghan’s asked anxiously.

Christen slid down in the booth. "Then a car honked and it was gone."

Frustrated by the end of the story Meghan balled up her straw wrapper and threw it on the table. "Damn dude, that sucks."

"Yeah but things are different now. She seems... I don't know, happier." Christen sounded a little excited.

It wasn't in Meghan to break her heart, but she also promised her the truth. "Her dates tonight, with Alex."

Christen slipped further down in the booth. "Oh that's why she is so happy."

"Maybe not." She cheerful girl tried to make the situation better. "Maybe that's only a piece of it. She seemed really excited that you two aren't weird anymore."

"I don't know Kling. The more and more I go over this plan in my head, the crazier it sounds."

"No, don't give up." Meghan said quickly. "Don't give up on her."

Christen sat folding her hands in each other, the nerves were working themselves up inside her and Meghan could see it. She had only known Christen for a few weeks but she could already tell when she was going through things in her head and blowing them out of proportion. It seemed like Meghan was now going to have two nervous wrecks to take care of.

“Let’s talk about something else.” The chipper girl bounced a bit in her seat.

Letting out a deep breath Christen gave her a half smile. “Yeah okay… So what about you?”

“What about me?”

“We need to find you a girl too.” Christen was now giving her a look. “What’s your type?”

This wasn’t a question she was ever asked. Meghan had never really thought about her ‘type’ she had never really thought about dating at all, well except for Morgan. 

“I don’t know.” She responded truthfully. “I’ve never really sat down and thought about my type.”

Christen looked her up and down. “I’m guessing kind of fem, but still athletic. She has to be able to wear a dress like a princess but also kick a ball into a net. Someone like Sam.”

“Mewis?” Meghan asked shaking her head a bit. “Too tall.”

Christen laughed. “What, are you serious?”

“Sam is awesome, don’t get me wrong but she’s also like 5’11, I’m 5’2, that’s way too much.”

“Okay so a nine-inch height difference is off the table.” 

They started to joke around. Meghan didn’t want to tell Christen about Morgan. Somehow telling her that she liked the best friend of the girl who was trying to take Tobin from her did not seem like a good move. Yeah she promised Christen the truth, but liking Morgan was not going to affect their plan at all. The truth was, Meghan had not thought about Morgan in a little while, not sense the last game of senior year. 

\--

It was the championship game and everything had gone as planned. Meghan had made some great plays, Tobin had two goals and they had won the game. All in all it was a great night. They were on the bus, everyone all hyped up on the win. Tobin and Meghan sat in the front and listened to the team singing songs and having fun. The two of them had just accepted their scholarships to UNC so they spent the bus ride talking about going to school. Meghan was sitting backwards on the bus so she could see all the other girls having fun, but her eyes were on one person in particular, Morgan Brian.

When they got back to the school everyone was in the parking lot talking about plans to go to JJ, their captains, house for a party. Tobin and Meghan of course headed towards Meghan’s car so they could go celebrate alone at Tobin’s house. They were almost ready to go when Tobin realized she left her phone on the bus and ran back to get it. Meghan was waiting by her car for her friend, when a girl with honey blonde hair came walking towards her. 

“Hey Kling.” She said a little out of breath. She had jogged up to the car. “Are you going to the party?”

Meghan was caught off guard. She talked to everyone, but Morgan always seemed to shake her nerve. “Uh-probably not. Tobin and I were going to watch a movie.”

“You should come to the party.” She said with a smile. “You and Tobin. It’s the last soccer party, like ever.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t even been to one soccer party.” It was a joke but it was also the sad truth.

Morgan laughed a little at the statement. “That means you should come to this one. It’ll be fun.”

She looked over and saw Tobin heading towards her. As much as she wanted to say yes to the beautiful girl standing in front of her, the one that was headed towards her was never going to be okay at a party. Tobin was barely comfortable at family gatherings; how would she feel surrounded by a bunch of partying girls? They had never been to a party, and she wasn’t about to force Tobin into one now.

“I think we are going to sit this one out.” She said her heart sinking in her chest. “Thanks though.”

The disappointed look on Morgan’s face said it all, she had blown it and there was no going back. She watched the one girl she had ever liked walk away and get in the car with her best friend. In her head Meghan wanted to convince Tobin to go to the party. The minute they got in the car her best friend announced how tired she was, and how happy she was to be done with the season. There was no convincing her. There was no going to the party. Meghan put talking to Morgan out of her head.

\--

The rest of the day had gone by as quick as the beginning. The costumers were rolling in and they kept busy. Before they knew it Tobin and Meghan were clocking out. They waited at the coffee shop for Ashlyn, she got off thirty minutes after they did and Ali was supposed to meet her in the parking lot so Meghan could ask her some questions. 

“What are you going to wear tonight?” Meghan asked casually.

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t really know. Nathans is a nice place but it’s not super fancy.”

“Yeah it’s not five star restaurant nice, but it’s also not Wendy’s.” Meghan laughed at her own joke. “You should take her to Wendy’s then you can wear a t-shirt and jeans.”

“Yup, I should also ask her for gas money because I’m a scrub.” Tobin laughed. 

“Don’t say scrub, you’re not cool enough for that.”

Before they could continue the line of questioning Ashlyn walked past the coffee shop and gave them a head nod, they ran out to meet her. As to be expected Ali was waiting by Ashlyn’s car. Meghan practically ran to her and started asking questions. Tobin went and stood by the wall with Ashlyn who was texting.

“Have you ever been to Nathan’s?” Tobin asked casually.

Ashlyn looked over at her. “Yeah a few times.”

Without looking at her she asked. “Is it nice?”

“Not super nice, but it’s nice enough.”

Tobin was nervous, but she had no one else to go off of. Ashlyn was the only other lesbian she knew that had experience and even came close to matching her style. Yes, she was way cooler than Tobin, with her tattoos and short cropped blonde hair, but Tobin saw her as more of a future her, but maybe with less tattoos. Ashlyn was smooth, and she was dating a girl that reminded her of Alex, girly but also kick ass. This was the closest thing she was going to get to help.

“Uh-what-uh.” She hesitated. “What would you wear there, you know, if you were going on a date or something.”

Ashlyn smiled, she knew what this was and she could sense how uncomfortable Tobin was. She decided to keep her head down slightly as to not make it worse. “Plain button up shirt, nice jeans and boots.”

“Right, yeah.” Tobin said trying not to sound like an idiot.

Ali called over to Ashlyn tapping on her wrist to remind her of the time. The tall blonde gave her a nodd and stood up from the wall. She walked over towards her girlfriend and turned back around. “Tobin… hair down, no hat.” She gave her a quick wink and a smile before turning back around and talking to Ali. 

After the couple drove off Tobin jumped in the car with Meghan. 

“What was that about?” Meghan asked referring to Ashlyn’s comments.

Tobin shook her head. “Nothing.”

\--

Tobin stood looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a grey button up shirt and a pair of black jeans. She found the button up in the back of her closet, she bought it for a party she never went to. It was dressy but casual when worn untucked. Her pants were her nice jeans her sister forced her to buy one day when she was dragged out shopping. She had on a pair of black Dr. Martens, but they were the low cut ones that were more like shoes then boots. Her hair was down and pushed slightly behind her ears. She looked nice, well nice enough.

When she got home she went for a run to calm her nerves then showered five times and took forty-five minutes to find what to wear. She washed her face and brushed her teeth twice, contemplated cutting her hair, and after three applications of deodorant later she was kind of ready to do this. As she stared at herself in the mirror she saw her sister’s reflection.

"You look nice." Perry told her inviting herself in the room. "Where are you headed?"

"Out." Tobin told her. "With a friend."

Perry leaned against the dresser by the door and smiled. "Is it a boy?"

Tobin scoffed. "Perry."

She paused and looked at her sister. "Is it a girl?"

"Perry, come on." Tobin spun around with an annoyed look on her face.

"Fine, fine." Her older sister said putting her hands in the air.

Tobin paused for a second. "Do I really look okay?"

The taller girl took a few steps forward closing the gap between them. She straightened her little sisters collar and pulled her hair from behind her ears. "Yeah you look great." She paused for a second before turning to go out the door. "Wait her just a second."

Tobin looked at the clock on her wall she still had plenty of time to get to the restaurant she could indulge her older sister for a few minutes. Perry came back with a small glass bottle in her hand. She stood in front of Tobin and pressed the button on top of the bottle. Suddenly the air smelled amazing, kind of like a forest after it rains but also a little fruity.

"I bought this for Jack, that jerk, before he decided to be an idiot." Perry told her sister. "Now you are ready."

Tobin gave her a smile. "Thanks Perry."

"Anytime little sis."

It was unspoken, it had always been unspoken. Tobin didn't know how to tell anyone in her family about her sexuality and yet Perry always seemed to know something. She could read Tobin like an open book and Tobin knew it. But it was unspoken, Tobin was going on her fist date with a girl, and without question Perry took care of her little sister. 

Tobin drove slowly, somehow the concept of driving fast made her more nervous besides the restaurant was ten minutes away and she left twenty minutes early. She parked in on the side of the building, it was well lit but not in the front where people could watch her panic alone in her car. She looked at herself in the rear view mirror. Yeah she looked okay. She checked her breath by blowing in her hand, she had brushed her teeth, maybe a little too hard, but just in case she popped in a mint and started chewing, maybe one more for good measure.

It was 628 and she need to get out there. She stood in front of the restaurant checking her phone to make sure she wasn't insane and showered up too early or worse she was really crazy and she was too late. Time ticked by, it was 635, and her heart began to beat quickly. Maybe she did sound like an idiot in the text. Maybe she should have texted her good morning. Maybe this was all just one big fat stupid idiot loser...

"Tobin Heath." A voice called out.

Tobin turned to see Alex walking towards her with a huge smile on her face. She was in a knee length dress with no sleeves. It was dark maybe purple or a blue, Tobin didn't notice, she was busy looking at how beautiful her smile was and the way her eyes popped in the setting sun. It was Alex Morgan and she was here to see Tobin.

"Hey." Tobin said, almost too airy to be a real word.

Alex giggled a bit. "You should know before you get into this, I am continuously late."

Tobin grinned a goofy grin and rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "I'm annoyingly early all the time." She laughed.

Alex nodded her head, her brown hair bouncing on her shoulders. "You and I are going to have fun Tobin Heath." She reached out and touched the corner of Tobin's collar. "I have never seen you in a button up... It’s really nice."

"Thanks, you look... amazing." She couldn't believe she said that without stuttering.

"Why thank you." Alex said moving a bit making her dress fan slightly. "Well let's get in there and get some food, I am starving."

The restaurant wasn’t too busy, it was a Wednesday night and it was a little early. They were seated automatically in a nice booth towards the back of the restaurant. As Tobin expected all the people were dressed nice but not suit and tie nice. She immediately praised herself in her head for picking out the shirt and pants, she would have to remember to thank Ashlyn for the suggestion. Alex sat across from her, giving the waiter a smile as he told them the specials for the night. Tobin had little more than a general idea about what the guy was saying because she was focused on Alex in the dress that she now knew for sure was a dark purple.

“Tobin.” Alex said leaning in a little. 

Tobin shook her head a little. The waiter was talking to her and she hadn’t heard anything he said. She was staring at Alex. “I’m sorry what was that?” she asked a little embarrassed. 

“What would you like to drink?” The guy repeated politely.

“Oh, uh-Spite, please.” She said naming a drink off the top of her head. She wasn’t really sure she wanted Sprite she was too busy trying to wrap her head around the fact that she was sitting across from Alex Morgan.

The waiter left them with menus covered in thin plastic. Alex opened her menu and started to study the words written on it, Tobin was study Alex. She watched her put one finger against her lips and hum to herself, she was thinking and it was adorable.

“What do you think you’re going to get?” Alex asked looking up.

Tobin was caught off guard. “Uh-I don’t know.”

“I hate picking food when I’m super hungry. Everything sounds so good.” She had gone back to looking at the menu. “I don’t know if I want to be an adult and get adult food, or if I want to be a five-year-old and get chicken fingers.”

This was now her time to talk and try not to sound like a fool. “Who says chicken fingers are not adult food?”

“True.” Alex said happily. “I think I am feeling chicken fingers.” She looked up to Tobin and smiled. “What about you Tobin Heath, are you feeling young with me.”

Tobin chuckled. “Yeah I think so, but I’m going with bacon cheeseburger.”

“Good choice.”

They both closed their menu and just stared at each other. Tobin wanted to talk, she had things to say. Her entire run after work she had thought about things to talk about, topics that would spark lively conversation but also not be too weird. Now, looking over at Alex, sitting this close to her, those high cheekbones and bright smile, she had forgotten everything she wanted to talk about. She needed to say something fast or Alex was going to think she was strange, well stranger than she actually was.

Luckily it was Alex who broke the silence. She leaned back in her seat and laughed to herself, lowering her head a bit. “I can’t believe I am sitting here with _the_ Tobin Heath.”

“What do you mean?” Tobin asked.

“I mean, all of high school, all of soccer from juniors and on, all the classes we had together, everything, and I have only spoken to you like once.” Her tone wasn’t mean, it wasn’t accusatory, it was just stating a fact. 

This made Tobin a little nervous, but not in the way that made her uncomfortable. “Yeah I was really shy. I mean I still am.”

“I figured.” Alex laughed. 

The waiter came by and dropped off their drinks. They put in their order Alex giving a cunning smile as she order her food. The little things she did started to fascinate Tobin. She knew the girl sitting across from her, she had watched her for years, but she was a lot different then she remembered in a good way.

“So did you have to work today?” Tobin asked as soon as the waiter left, she wasn’t going to let there be a strange lull again.

Alex shook her head. “No I was off today. I had to help my sister Jenny. She came home to get the rest of her stuff out of the house. My mom and dad are turning her room into a home office. I know as soon as I’m gone they will probably turn my room into a gym or something.” 

“Not my parents.” Tobin laughed. “Perry and Katie’s rooms are exactly how they left them.”

“Oh man, are your parents ‘shriners’?”

This made her crack up, and eased her tension. “Yeah, they keep everything the same. It’s nice though, makes it easy for them to come home. I don’t know, maybe when Jeff leaves they will turn the whole house into a rec room or something.”

“You’re lucky. I’m pretty sure I caught my dad taking measurements of my room the other day.” She paused for a moment and looked at Tobin then chuckled to herself. 

Tobin lowered her eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” Alex said with a sweet smile. 

“You keep looking at me.” Tobin joked. 

Alex lowered her head a bit. “It’s just so weird.” She looked up and saw a worried look on the nervous girls face. “You’re not weird, it’s just weird sitting her with you.”

“Why.” Tobin asked a little afraid of the answer. 

Alex let out a huge sigh. “Ah, if I tell you something, do you promise to be cool?”

“No.” Tobin replied quickly. “I’m not cool at all.”

She started to laugh. “Okay, well do you promise to at least try and be cool?”

“I’ll give it my all.” 

Alex put her hand on the table and toyed with the wrapped from her straw. She looked like she didn’t want to say whatever she had to say, but in her head she knew it was better to just say it. She took a deep breath. “I have had a crush on you since like junior year.”

Tobin leaned back in her seat, she wanted to scream, she wanted to jump up, she wanted to freak out, but she was supposed to be playing it cool. “Are… Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” Alex laughed a little. She wasn’t looking up, her eyes stayed focused on the table. “Yup, summer track practice I told Moe I was going to ask you out.”

Now her heart was beating against her chest so hard she thought it would fall out. How was this even a thing? How was Alex Morgan sitting across from her telling her she had a crush on her? This wasn’t a thing. If it wouldn’t have been weird Tobin would have given herself a quick slap to the face to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

“Uh- I am in total shock.” She said, her mouth hanging open a bit. “How? I mean, what? Are you serious?”

Now Alex was looking up at her. She started to laugh at Tobin’s shocked look. “Yeah we were all gathered around and you and Kling were kicking a soccer ball around. I remember because coach yelled at you two, he told you it wasn’t soccer season yet.”

“I remember that.” Tobin said thinking back. 

“You were always getting in some kind of trouble with a soccer ball. Coach knew you two were only out there to get faster for soccer.”

“Yeah, he didn’t like that.”

“He was kind of an ass.” Alex came back quickly. “But you always had a ball with you. Everywhere you went you had a ball tucked under your arm. Even at school you always had one in class. Summer before junior year I watched you and Kling get four laps for kicking the ball after he told you not to, and you laughed the whole way around the track. After that I told Moe that I was going to ask you out.”

Tobin started to crack up, she remembered that day, she remembered seeing Alex and feeling nervous. How was it possible that Alex was feeling the same way? “Well what happened?”

“Meghan.” Alex said with a serious tone. “After practice you were changing your shoes. Moe shoved me towards you and I kind of tripped over you. I was about to say something when Meghan started talking to me about soccer. Before I knew it you were done and ready to take off. I never actually got to talk to you.”

Tobin leaned back in her chair. She put her hand over her eyes. “Oh God. I am so sorry.” She was cracking up. “Yeah Kling is kind of my defender in life, not just on the field.”

“Why was she running defense?” Alex was laughing too.

“Uh-because I was a mess back then. I don’t know, I guess I still kind of am.” The words were coming out easy. Somehow knowing Alex’s half of the story was making her feel better. “I could not talk to you, at all. Kling always spoke to keep me from looking like an idiot.”

With a confused look Alex asked. “Why couldn’t you talk to me.”

This was it, but for some reason she didn’t feel nervous about it, she was comfortable telling her. “Because, I liked you… a lot. Every time you came around, I couldn’t talk. It was impossible.”

Now Alex was leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed on her chest. “You have to be kidding me.”

“Nope.” She said with a smile. “You were this person. I wanted to talk to you. I just couldn’t. You were Alex Morgan.” She emphasized her name and ended it with a huge goofy grin.

Alex shook her head. “Well look at you now Tobin Heath.”

“Yeah I am still not exactly sure how I managed to get here, and not freak myself out.” It felt good to be honest about how awkward she was. “I mean I did freak out. I ran like eight miles and took like thirty showers before I left, twenty minutes early may I add.”

“Well you smell really good.” She raised her eyebrows and gave her a look.

Tobin nodded. “That was Perry.” She said then realized how strange that sounded. “She sprayed me with this cologne. I was nervous.”

Alex clapped her hands together and laughed out loud, before settling down and giving Tobin a look. “Tobin Heath… You might be the cutest thing in the whole world.”

The night went on. They talked about high school and soccer, which was easy for Tobin, though everything seemed to just flow out with Alex now that they had gotten the awkwardness out of the way. Tobin noticed every little thing she did, when she danced a little when her food came out. The satisfied face she made when she started to eat. She noticed the way she shifted in her seat when Tobin mentioned someone from school she didn’t care for. The way her hands moved when she talked, when she was excited they were huge motions always acting out what she was saying, even when she was saying something off hand she would make tiny motions with her fingers. She noticed the way she closed her eyes tight and pressed her lips together when she shook her head at something she didn’t agree with. The way she traced her finger down her glass when precipitation gathered on it. Tobin studied Alex the way she did in school except this time she got to see all the little details of her and she couldn’t have been happier.

The check was brought and they fought over who should pay Tobin winning in the end because she was faster to grab the black leather folder and get her wallet out. Alex insisted on leaving the tip and they were out the door headed towards their cars, the conversation never stopping. 

“You’re lucky you have Kling going to UNC with you.” Alex said as they headed towards the car. “I wish Moe was going to Berkeley with me.”

“I thought she was.” Tobin said.

Alex shook her head. “No, Virginia offered her a better deal. Berkeley offered full tuition and Virginia offered tuition with room and bored. It was the better thing to do but I still wish she was going to California with me.”

They had gotten to their cars; Alex had parked right next to Tobin. “Man that sucks. I’m freaking out about going to North Carolina. I can’t imagine going all the way across the country.”

“Honestly, I’ve been freaking out about it since the moment I said yes.” She had a worried look on her face. “I’m excited, I mean how can I not be, it’s California. But I’ll be alone, so it sucks.”

“You’ll make friends.” Tobin said quickly. “Or I can deny my scholarship to UNC and take Berkeley up on their offer.”

“Aw, you’d do that for me?” Alex asked jokingly.

“Sure.” Tobin said in a high voice. “Just let me go tell my best friend, my parents, and everyone else that I’ve decided to move to California.”

They both laughed together. Alex was leaning against her drivers side door, Tobin was against her passenger door. Tobin pushed her hands in her pockets, it was warm even without the sun out so she could feel herself getting a little hot, though it was probably because she was still a little nervous standing in a parking lot with Alex.

“I had a really good time with you Tobin Heath.” Alex said looking at her through eyelashes. 

Tobin nodded her head. “Yeah I had a really great time.”

Alex stood up off her car and took a small step forward. Tobin’s heart starting beating faster. This was the moment. The time in all the movies she had watched. The end of the date. Tobin went over everything in her head. What the hell was she supposed to do now?

Confident in her movements, Alex reached out and touched the collar of Tobin’s shirt. “I really like you in button ups.”

“Thanks.” Tobin responded nervously, in the back of her head she was making a mental note to wear more button ups. 

She watched Alex take another step forward. She was close now, close enough she could smell the sweet scent coming off her. Alex was usually a little bit taller than Tobin, but tonight she was wearing flats and Tobin’s shoes had a little bit of a heal on them, which meant she was taller and Alex was slightly looking up at her. Tobin looked down at her, those blue eyes shining in the light of the street lamp above them. She saw Alex wet her lips a bit, and suddenly her mind went over everything in her head in a matter of two seconds.

_Don’t be nervous. You can do this. You watched a ton of movies. Thank God you chewed gum directly after you ate. That was smart. She is staring at you. She is so beautiful. Damnit Tobin, get it together. You got this. I mean you don’t, but you have to. Let’s go!_

Tobin closed the gap between. Alex had her hand flat on Tobin’s chest her finger tips just barely on her shoulder almost pulling her down or closer. With a deep breath Tobin closed her eyes and leaned in. 

This kiss was amazing, Tobin wanted to faint but she couldn’t. She held still for a second thinking if she moved she would mess it up, but she felt Alex move her lips a bit so she followed suite deepening the kiss a little. She felt Alex’s hand press against her chest and the only clear thing going through her head was how much she didn’t want it to end.

It was Alex who pulled away slowly after a few seconds. When Tobin opened her eyes Alex still had hers closed for a second, then she smiled, which made Tobin smile.

Still with a smile Alex lowered her head. “Wow.” She said almost too low for Tobin to hear. She dug her fingers a little into Tobin’s shoulder before lowering her hand and taking a small step back. “This was an amazing night.”

Not really sure how to talk just yet Tobin nodded her head and let out a little laugh.

Alex looked up at Tobin for a second before the smile she had got bigger. She fooled around with the keys in her hand as she took another step back towards her car. “Well, I should probably go.”

Tobin found some words. “Thank you… For coming out with me.”

“Thank you for saying yes.” Alex said in a low tone. She looked up at Tobin, her eyes dark and loving. “Text me later.”

“Of course.” Like she even had a choice. 

Alex opened the door to her car. “Well, good night Tobin Heath.”

Tobin gave her a little laugh. “Good night Alex Morgan.”

The entire drive Tobin was dancing in her car. No matter what the song she had some kind of dance. She had just been out with Alex Morgan, the girl she had dreamt about for years. Not only that, but Alex liked her. She actually liked her. And she kissed her. Her first kiss. Her first date. Her first everything. She was dancing and no one could stop her. 

She got inside and started up the stairs. She was almost to her room when she was stopped in the hallway.

“How was it?” Perry asked leaning against her door frame.

Tobin lowered her head and played with her keys nervously. “Amazing.”

Perry smiled and nodded her head. “Good, I’m glad you had a good time.”

“Thanks Per.” 

Tobin went into her room, and changed into a t-shirt and gym shorts. She climbed in bed and turned on her television. She put on “She’s the Man” a movie she had seen over a hundred times. She wasn’t paying attention; she was going over the date in her head. She was going over the kiss in her head. She wanted to text Meghan, and tell her everything, but for some reason she didn’t. Inside she wanted to keep this to herself. She wanted to keep Alex to herself, just for now, just for tonight. 

About an hour in of mindlessly scrolling through facebook, her mind on the date a text popped up on her phone, it was Alex.

\--You awake?—

Tobin immediately texted back. –It’s 930, of course.—

\--Don’t get sassy with me Tobin Heath—

She let out a loud laugh, covering her mouth she didn’t want anyone to come in and check on her. –What are you doing?—

\--Honest answer?—

\--Of course!—

The three dots were on the page for a second before the text came in. –Thinking about you.—

Tobin took a huge breath and held it for a second. –Same. Well, expect about you—

\--Can I tell you something?—

Tobin sat up in her bed. –Anything—

She watched the three dots for over a minute. –I like you Tobin Heath—

Tobin leaned her back against her head rest. This couldn’t be real. She typed back. –I like you too Alex Morgan.—

Immediately Alex’s response came in –Good.—

They continued to talk, the conversation staying along the same lines as the one they had in the restaurant. Tobin stayed up the smile never leaving her face. It wasn’t until midnight when Alex demanded she get some sleep so she wasn’t exhausted for work in the morning. Hesitant to end their conversation Tobin finally said good night.

She was about to set her phone down on her end table when something inside her told her to bring up her facebook. She scrolled through her feed one last time and stopped on a picture. It was Christen with her dog, they were both covered in mud. Tobin smiled lingering on the picture for a few seconds. She hit the screen off button on her phone, plugging it up and setting it down on her end table.


	6. The Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin starts the morning after her big date off well, but is quickly brought down off her high by a crippling reality... she needs to make a choice. Who does she want to be with, Alex or Christen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Edit* PLEASE READ*
> 
> I wanted it to be a sort of surprise at the end but I think people are getting confused. The story gets split at the end. The next two chapters are completely different. please read the end notes. It becomes basically a choose your own adventure story. Preath should read chapter 7 and Talex should read chapter 8. But read this chapter first or none of it will make sense. 
> 
>  
> 
> As always just skip right over those typos and thank you for the love.

For the first time in her life Tobin woke up late. She opened her eyes and reached for her phone, it was almost 11:00 way past when she would normally wake up. She had talked to Alex late into the night and even though her body was tired, her mind was energetic, because there was a text already on her phone; a good morning from Alex. Tobin smiled to herself and texted back.  
   
She got up and walked down stairs. The house was empty, it was Thursday and everyone else in her family had to work. As she pushed the button on the coffee maker she cursed for a second realizing she slept through Thursday Mass. One of the agreements of getting to work at the Pitch and not for her father’s company was she promised her mom she would go to mass on Thursdays since she works on Sunday. Now she was going to have to go through the important role of Christ speech and followed by that the responsibility speed; both of which she did not want to hear. As she poured more sugar than any one person should consume in one sitting into her giant coffee mug she heard her phone buzzing against the counter.  
   
She grabbed it moving so quick she spilled a little coffee on her hand. “Shit.” She said under her breath then quickly looked around forgetting she was alone and her father wasn’t going to pop around the corner and remind her not to curse. Was this how she was going to be for the rest of her life, saying curses in a low tone always thinking her dad was going to point his finger and remind her that cursing is not am effective way to express her anger? More than likely, there are just somethings that run too deep.

The text was from Kling. –Dude are you awake yet?-  
   
With her burned finger in her mouth trying to stop the pain, she texted back with the other hand. -Just woke up.-  
   
The house was cold, her parents kept the air blasting all day long. It was nice, but it still made her shiver a bit in her gym shorts and t-shirt. She sat in the couch and covered her legs in a thin blanket that hung over the back of the couch. She turned on the T.V. immediately clicking over to Hulu and putting on the latest episode of New Girl and started sipping her coffee.  
   
The phone buzzed on her lap. It was Kling again. -I take it you missed mass?- Kling was not a religious person, but she knew all too well that Tobin was guilt obligated to attend mass at least once a week, though her mother would prefer if she went every day, hell every hour would be best.  
   
Tobin texted back. -Yup. Slept right through it.-  
   
-Tobin Powell Heath, how do expect to have Christ in your life if you neglect his house?- Kling was imitating Tobin’s mom and the guilt trip she took her on if she ever missed church.  
   
She smirked at her best friends words. –That will be tonight when she gets home. It’s just me and Striker right now.-  
   
-Is it weird that I want to be there when you get reprimanded?-

-Yes you are a weird person-

-I can accept that. How’d the date go?-  
   
Tobin leaned back. She thought about Alex, the date, how everything went. She went over the conversations in her head. She thought about the kiss, how her hands shook, how she wanted to do it again immediately after it stopped. She thought about Alex texting her and how they both liked each other. It was the single best night of her life and she wanted to shout it from the roof tops, well her version of that which was telling Meghan everything. Her finger hovered over the screen on her phone, she wanted to type but she just couldn’t. As much as she wanted to tell her everything she stopped herself for some reason. 

-It was great.- She typed out and sent off questioning why she just didn’t tell her everything. 

-That’s it? Just great?-  
   
She wanted to say it was amazing. She wanted to tell her she kissed Alex, well Alex kissed her. She wanted to tell her everything, how Alex like her in high school. In her mind she wanted to tell her best friend every little detail about the best night in her life but she couldn’t, at least she didn’t, and she didn’t know why.  
   
-It was great, Alex is awesome. I’ll tell you about it later.-  
   
The three dots appeared on her screen then disappeared. Meghan was thinking, she was being skeptical and Tobin could sense it. Normally her best friend said whatever was on her mind, no matter what, but she was questioning herself.  
   
-Are you sure it went well. You can tell me.-  
   
She wasn’t expecting that. That was not like Meghan, maybe a joke, or something else at Tobin’s expense, but not that. Normally she would be all over her. Something was off about all of this.

Tobin quickly typed back. –Dude it was great. I’ll meet you at the field early and tell you everything. Okay?-  
   
It was a few minutes before another text came in. -I better get all the details.-  
   
Okay so maybe she wasn’t too crazy concerned, or maybe she was just playing it off. Either way Tobin let it go, she wanted to enjoy her morning. This was one of the first times in her life she was actually alone, well expect the giant dog sitting on her dad’s chair looking out the window. This was the first time no one was giving her the stink eye for not going on a run, or going outside to practice. Her weekends had been the same practically her entire life. Wake up, have a small breakfast, go on a run, a few hours to relax, then in the backyard for soccer. It was a good life, she didn’t mind it, she loved soccer and running became one of the most relaxing parts of her life, but she had never been able to have a normal weekend. 

Feeling no pressure to do anything at all she stretched out on the couch resting her head on the throw pillow. She turned up the television to whatever volume she wanted on and took a deep breath. It was time for her to relax. Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, maybe she wasn’t going to be able to relax. She reached over and read the text, it was Alex.

-I just had a twenty-minute conversation about paper weights-

She laughed out loud. -How do you talk for twenty-minutes about that?-

The text came back quickly. -Oh don’t get me started.-

This was the first time in her life that she was going to be able to relax, and it was made even better by texting Alex.

\--

It was almost five when Tobin’s legs finally grew restless. Who was she kidding there was no way she was going to be able to go a full day without a run. Striker had been staring at her for almost an hour which meant he was ready too. She got dressed and put the harness on her giant dog and took off down the street. As much as she hated running when she was younger, she grew to love it. When she was in middle school she only saw it as a way to get faster for soccer, but the more she did it the more it became and escape. 

Her life was full of pressure. Her family expected things from her that she didn’t know how to give them. They wanted Tobin to be like Perry and Katie. Her sisters were popular, they always had friends over and guys just seemed to like them. They dated a few boys, the ones her parents approved of so the majority of them were from church. They both had great grades, and wanted to go to school for practical things. Jeff was younger than her, but even he seemed more, normal, than Tobin. He was popular too, always had a crowd of people around him. Everyone in Tobin’s family seemed to have some kind of charisma that she didn’t seem to get. Tobin was awkward and kind of weird. She cared more about soccer than anything and when her mom finally picked up on she was all over her about it.

As much as she loved the support her parents showed her, it was overwhelming sometimes. Her dad sounded like a second coach a lot of the time. He would watch her in the backyard and give her pointers. They were not soccer people before Tobin picked up on the game, so her father did hours of research to figure out how to help her. It was amazing, both her mom and her dad were the best parents she could ask for, but she always wondered what they would talk about if she didn’t play soccer. What would her mom have her doing on Saturdays if she wasn’t waking her up for her morning run? Who would she be without soccer?

The run was over. Striker was the best running partner. He always stayed just a little ahead of her looking back every few minutes as if to tell her to hurry up, which pushed Tobin faster. She took off his harness and watched him run to his water bowl. She went to the fridge and got a water bottle and took a huge drink. She looked at her phone and saw a text from Alex, she had responded to the conversation they had been having all day. 

-I guess I’d rather get kicked in the stomach then punched in the face. I’ve been kicked in the face once and that was not the best day of my life.-

Tobin laughed so hard she choked on her water. The conversation had gone from Alex’s job, to Tobin watching television to somehow slipping into a weird game of ‘would you rather.’ Tobin had thought her texting sessions with Alex would be filled with awkward questions about each other. Every time she heard of someone texting the person they liked it was always questions about themselves, them getting to know one another, but she and Alex had taken a weird left turn into talking about random things and never really asking direct questions about each other. She may have been learning that Alex would rather be eaten by a lion then beaten to death by ape, but she was learning things about her that made her seem more real. The conversations just flowed with her, and it made everything easy.

She took a few minutes to catch her breath, then she packed up her soccer gear and headed out the door. She was going to meet Meghan at the field early. Even though she still felt hesitant, she was ready to talk to her friend about Alex. 

\--

Meghan had been out all day with her mom, shopping for things for college. As much as her mom supported everything that she did, there was no way she was going to ever let her buy all the things she needed for her dorm room on her own. They may have been two and half months away from school starting, but it was never t0o early, and it was better to buy a little at a time then to buy everything all at once. So once a week her mom dragged her to one store or another and ‘helped’ her pick out the things she needed.

“You’ll need new sheets.” Her mom said as they walked into Bed Bath and Beyond. “The beds in college dorms are twins, but they are longer to fit tall people.”

“Not that I’ll have that problem.” Meghan joked. 

Her mom gave her a half smile and shook as she always did when her daughter made a joke and she thought it was funny but didn’t want to give into her ridiculousness. “Well do you know what color you’re going to want?”

“Black… to match my soul.”

“Meghan.” Her mom said her name in a way that Meghan knew as her _that was funny, but I won’t laugh at that in public_ voice. “Can you be serious?”

She chuckled at her mother who had looked around to see if any other customers were listening to them talk. “Yes I can. Probably blue or red.”

“Those are very different.” Her mom said touching the sample sheets hanging on the wall. “Oh these are soft. Come here and feel these.”

Reluctantly she reached her hand out and touched the sheet on the wall. “Yup super soft.”

“You’ll care when you are sleeping on sheets that feel like sand paper.” 

“Mom, you know what I like.” Meghan said her head falling back exaggerating her words. “Just pick what you think is best. You do way better at this stuff than I do.” She started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” her mother called after her. 

“To the beyond.” Meghan called out without looking back at her mom. “Text me when you are ready and I’ll meet you at the front, you know if I don’t get lost.”

As she walked down the aisle staring at useless item after useless item she took out her phone to see if Tobin had texted her, but there was nothing. Somewhere down the line her best friend had decided not to tell her about this great date she had. Maybe Tobin could sense how she felt about the whole thing. Maybe she could tell that she didn’t want her to go out with Alex. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Alex, she didn’t really know the girl, she just liked Christen more, and she was better for Tobin. She had met Alex the same way she met everyone else in school, only Alex made an impression. She was the type of girl that liked people to pay attention to her, it wasn’t annoying like the type of girl with the high pitched squealing voice, it was just that everyone seemed to watch her and she seemed to enjoy it. Alex was extremely pretty and that drew every single guy to her, as well as a lot of girls. Meghan had always thought that if she wasn’t so fantastic at soccer Alex probably would have been a cheerleader or something along those lines, she had the personality for it. 

In her mind she had wished Alex had some kind of flaw, something that she could hate about her, but there wasn’t. She was funny in a way that almost forced you to laugh with her, but it was never mean or spiteful, though she always joked around with and about everyone. She was pretty, big piercing blue eyes that were perfectly off set by her dark brown hair, but she was never a jerk about it, she knew she was hot so she never had to brag about it. She was beautiful and that was just a fact. Even though Meghan had hopped all that would be set off by her being dumb, that wasn’t true either. Alex was smart but in a causal way, always getting great grades but never trying to prove how smart she was. And dammit, Alex was good at soccer. Fast on her feet, light touches on the ball, a kick that could send a ball through someone’s face. And yes, she was a team player, never hogging the ball always encouraging everyone on the field. Alex Morgan was all around great and there was no reason for Meghan to hate her, and in high school she didn’t hate her, they weren’t friends but she didn’t hate her. But right now, how she just interrupted Tobin’s life, Meghan could feel herself becoming… irritated with the great Alex Morgan. 

She picked up a pan made out of copper with a lady on the front label that looked like she would call you sweet heart because she forgot your name. She flipped the pan around in her hand a few times before setting it down and seeing a familiar face across the aisle. 

“Hope.” Meghan called out going over to the girl looking at silverware sets. 

Hope gave her a quick wave. “Hey what’s up Kling?”

“Getting college stuff with my mom.” She stuck her hands in her front pockets.

The taller girl looked around for a second. “Where’s your mom?”

“Ditched her.” Meghan answered casually. “She’s better at that stuff. What are you doing here?”

With a laugh Hope picked up a set of silverware. “I need utensils for school. Last year I ate off of paper plates and used plastic everything. This year I’m going to be more of an adult.”

Meghan nodded her head. “Good call. So are you going to the game tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to meet Christen early to talk about something. I think she might be upset about something.”

“Interesting.” Meghan said with a look in her eye. “Probably because Tobin had a date last night. I’m actually supposed to meet her at the park and talk about it.”

The older girl thought for a second before she raised her eyebrows and said. “I have an idea.”

“What?” Meghan asked a little scared of what was on her mind.

“They need time together, like a good amount of alone time, not just a few minutes on Tuesdays and Thursdays when she drives her home. Chris needs time to really talk to Tobin without interruption.” 

“So what are you thinking?” 

“We make time for them to talk.” Hope smirked her eyes narrowed. “I’ll tell Chris that I can’t make it early, you tell Tobin the same. Whatever Chris wants to talk about, we can talk about it after the game. And maybe after they talk she won’t be as upset.”

“And maybe Tobin will rethink how great the date went with Alex.” Meghan said now buying into the plan laid out in front of her. “This is sneaky. I didn’t know you were sneaky.”

“Oh yeah, I can be sneaky.”

So the plan was set, and even though Meghan felt a little uncomfortable lying to her best friend it was for the best. Tobin needed time with Christen, they needed time together, not work time, not two minutes of drive time with people honking at them. Those two needed to talk, no one around, just sit and talk to each other. This was a good thing. Right?

\--

It was a little after six when Tobin got to the park. She looked at her phone expecting a text from Meghan saying how she was almost there, instead the text said she was going to be late, like really late. She was talking to her dad and would make it for the game but not earlier. Tobin shut her phone and put it in her bag. Now she had almost thirty minutes alone.

Tobin put on her cleats and started to kicked the ball around. She was ready to just sit down and close her eyes for a few minutes when she heard a voice coming from the direction of the parking lot. She turned around to see Christen walking down to the field. 

“Hey you’re here early.” Christen said letting her bag fall to the ground.

Tobin nodded her head with an annoyed look on her face. “Yeah Kling was supposed to meet me here early, but she got caught up with family stuff. Why are you here so early?”

Christen let out a huge breath of air. “Hope was supposed to meet me here but she got caught up at work.”

Standing with the ball next to her left foot Tobin kicked the ball up and caught it. “You wanna kick around?”

No longer frustrated by her situation Christen smiled. “Yeah sure.”

They went out to the middle of the field. Tobin kicking the ball in front of her the whole way. Standing fifteen or so yards away they started to kick the ball back and forth. Tobin got the ball and juggled it a bit on her feet before kicking it back with a sly smile. Christen laughed a little before kicking the ball up and juggling on her knees a few times then kicked it back to her partner with a smile.

Oh yeah, she could do this. Tobin kicked the ball back and forth between her feet, then juggled it a bit before spinning around and catching it between her calf and her thigh, she held it there for a second then flicked it over to Christen. 

Figuring out her game, Christen kicked it up and did a few ‘around the worlds’ catching the ball on her foot never letting the ball touch the ground before sending it back. She raised her eyebrows a few times and tried to look serious but her face broke into a smile. 

Now it was getting fun. Tobin kicked it up and juggled on her knees before sending it into the air just a little higher than her head and caught it on her forehead and balancing it while taking a few steps then she let it fall and sent it back to the now clearly impressed girl.

Christen couldn’t help but laugh, watching Tobin show off was incredibly cute, but she wasn’t going to let her win. She kicked the ball up after doing some fancy juggling with her feet, then caught the ball on her back between her shoulders. She turned around and let the ball fall down her back, caught it between her calf and thigh then flicked the ball back.

Tobin was smiling but she was trying not to look too impressed, she couldn’t let Christen know that she may have been beating her a little in soccer tricks. The ball was behind her, and she decided to pull out an oldie but a goodie. She rainbow kicked the ball over her head and it landed almost perfectly at Christens feet.

“Okay, you are about to look down on me.” Christen said breaking their silence. 

Tobin laughed. “Why would I ever do that?” 

She covered her eyes, “Because I can’t rainbow.”

Tobin’s eyes got huge. “How is that even a thing? You’re going to college for soccer.”

Now laughing at herself she shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not my fault. Several people have tried to teach me. I can get it up just not over my head. So maybe it is my fault a little.”

She walked over to her, still laughing but in a good way. “That is something I can fix.” Tobin grabbed the ball and set it behind her. She slowly did the motions for the trick kick. “The flick at the end is all about how high you pop it up initially.” She rainbowed it over her head one more time before getting the ball and kicking it over to her.

Christen took the ball and tried the kick, it went about as high as her shoulder before falling to the ground. “I might be hopeless.” She said with a sad but playful tone.

Tobin had her arm across her chest balancing the other one and pressing her finger against her lips in a thinking pose. “Nope, you’re not. I see what your problem is. You have to square yourself up more after you lean forward.”

Christen tried to follow the directions but the kick still didn’t work. Tobin gave her a small chuckle as she saw the disappointed girl hung her head. She walked over to her and knelt down putting the ball in the perfect position. When she stood up she put her hands waist. She didn’t even notice she had done it, but there was not stopping now. 

“So uh-just um square your body with your front leg.” She said in almost a whisper. “That will give you more power.”

Christen nodded her head. Words were not a thing she could produce with Tobin’s hands on her waist. They were so close she could smell the mint from the gum she was chewing. There was no way she could even come close to forming a real sentence. 

Tobin could feel the small movements of Christens shallow breaths. She was so close to her, she could see the little specs of brown in the green of her eyes. Her brain was telling her to open her hands, take a step back, but for some reason her body was not doing what it was supposed to do. She took a deep breath and tried to get herself together. It was the small smile that started to creep on Christens face that brought her back to reality. 

She took her hands off slowly, first one and then the other, then took a small step back. “Uh-yeah, go ahead and give it a try.”

Christen took a deep breath. She shook her head a bit, then focused on what she was doing. With a little jump and a hard kick with her foot the ball popped up and went above her head landing a little ahead of her. She jumped up with excitement and immediately threw her arms around Tobin’s neck pulling her in close. 

“Thank you.” Christen said with her face buried somewhere in her arms and Tobin’s neck.

Tobin could feel the soft breath on her skin. They had been close like this before. She had felt Christen’s body pressed against hers before, but not like this, not alone. She felt a chill go through her body as Christen pulled away and looked into her eyes. 

“Yeah no problem.” Tobin said breathlessly. “Told you I could teach you.” Without realizing it she had taken a step back, she had pulled away from her. 

Christen released her grip on the girl and took her own half step backwards. “You’re a good teacher.”

Before the moment could get awkward they heard voices call out to them. The group was making their way down to the field, saving them.

Tobin looked over at Christen, she wanted to say something, maybe an apology, or something. Should she had apologized for holding onto her, or maybe for backing away from her. Maybe she should apologize for even being there and getting that close. But there wasn’t time for her to think of something to say, their friends were now all down there getting ready for the game. Why did she pull away? Then her mind fixed on one clear thing, Alex.

The game went by faster than normal. Tobin wasn’t focused. She had lost the ball a few times. Somehow the freedom the game in the park had given her was gone. Her mind was clouded up with thoughts. She had gone on a date with Alex and it went extremely well, why was she still feeling like this about Christen? She liked Alex, she had always liked Alex, and it was made more by their date and all their conversations. Was it okay to like two people? In her mind she knew it was wrong, but what was she supposed to do?

As the night fell on them, the game was called to an end. It was not Tobin’s best showing, and she felt a little bad for her teammates. As she put on her shoes she looked over to Christen, who had been all but ignoring her the entire game. She could probably feel how confused Tobin was, and didn’t want anything to do with it. With a knot in her stomach Tobin made her way to the cars with Hope, Kling and Christen. 

“Hey Kling, let me talk to you for a second.” Hope said as they approached the cars. 

Meghan gave her a quick nod. “Yeah okay.”

Here they were again, Tobin and Christen alone standing against the cars. Tobin looked over to her friends who were engaged in what seemed like an important conversation. What did Hope and Meghan have to talk about? 

“Are you okay?” Christen was talking to her. 

“What? Uh-yeah. I’m fine.” She said quickly, though that was a lie, she was pretty messed up.

Christen nodded her head slowly. She was quiet for a few seconds before it felt strange and she filled the silence. “How’s was your date last night?” Why the hell she asked that particular question was beyond her, though she did want to know.

Tobin’s face twisted a bit before she realized what she was doing. “How did you know I had a date?”

Caught off guard by the question Christen looked over to Meghan. “Um, Kling told me.”

“Great.” Tobin said under her breath. “Uh, it was good.” She said simply.

Now things were weird and Christen could feel it. “That’s good.”

Tobin didn’t respond. She could feel the anger starting to boil up inside her. This was not something she wanted to talk about, not with Christen, and she knew if she spoke she would probably be rude, so she decided it was better to say nothing.

Standing just off where the cars were parked Meghan stood with Hope and discussed how their plan went. 

“I mean they looked really happy when we got here.” Hope said trying to sound positive.

“Yeah but Tobin is distracted now.” Meghan told her, knowing how her best friend was. “There’s something bothering her.”

Hope lowered her eyebrows. “Maybe she is rethinking her date. Maybe she is rethinking Alex as a whole.”

“Maybe.” The shorter girl shifted her weight from one leg to the other. “Honestly I don’t know. Tobin has been a little hard to read lately.”

“She has a lot going on.” Hope could tell the younger girl was agitated with the whole situation. “Maybe she just needs to think through everything.”

“Yeah.” she paused for a second and looked up to her friend. “Maybe.”

Tobin was officially uncomfortable with everything going on, she was ready to go home but she didn’t want to walk. She was not ready to talk to her friend, but she did not want to ask Christen for a ride. She was going to have to suck it up. With a frustrated tone she called out to Meghan and told her to hurry up. With the energy knocked out of her she told Christen and Hope goodbye and got in the car with her friend, who she was officially pissed at.

Meghan could sense the anger coming off her friend. How did this happen? Yeah Tobin had a bad game, but she and Christen had spent time together. She seemed happy enough before the game started. What happened between then and now?

“What’s up dude?” Meghan said casually.

Tobin didn’t respond, she just looked out the window.

“Dude.” Meghan said loudly. “What’s going on?”

Now she turned to her. “You told Christen I had a date with Alex?”

Taken back by the question Meghan lowered her eyebrows. “Uh-yeah. Why?”

“Why would you do that?” her voice was low, almost a rumble and her hands were starting to shake. 

“I didn’t know it was a secret.” Meghan said with an attitude. “What does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.” Tobin snapped. 

They had made it to her house. Before Meghan had even put the car in park Tobin had unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door. She grabbed her bag without saying a word, slammed the door and walked up into her house. 

Meghan watched her friend storm off. Why would Christen tell her that she knew about the date? What the hell was happening? Was she losing her best friend? She drove home her stomach flipping inside her. She had messed up, big time. Tobin was never someone to get pissed off at anything or anyone but herself. She had seen Tobin basically fuming maybe twice in her entire life, and it was over soccer. They had fights before but nothing like this.

\--

Tobin got into the house and threw her bag on the ground next to the door. She could hear her mom in the kitchen talking. She walked in her anger still bubbling up inside her threating to boil over. Yanking open the refrigerator she looked for something to drink.

“Hey sweet heart.” Her mom’s voice was calm and pleasant. “Did you make it to church this morning.”

Tobin mouthed the word ‘shit’ with her head turned into the refrigerator door. She looked over at her mom. “Um-no. I woke up too late.”

“Tobin Powell Heath.” She said reminding Tobin of Meghan’s text. “You promised you would go to mass on your off day.”

“I know.” Tobin said way harsher than she intended, but she was on a role now. “Forgive me for sleeping in one day out of my life.” She slammed the refrigerator door hearing the contents shake a little inside. Without her usual apology she walked out of the kitchen.

“Tobin.” Her mom called out for her. 

“Mom.” Perry said reaching out and touching her mother’s arm. “I got this one.” 

Tobin was halfway up the stairs when she heard her sister’s footsteps. Perry was coming to talk to her instead of her mom. This was a good thing because she wanted to scream and she could not scream at her mom. When she got to her room she stood with her back turned to the door, she waited for her older sister to talk first.

“Okay.” Perry said, her voice a little chipper. “So what the hell was that about?”

She was angry, yes. She was pissed actually. She was willing to throw something, but all of a sudden she was crying. Tears ran hot down her cheeks; she could feel her body wanting to give out. Turning to her sister she took a shaky breath in. “Perry… I need to tell you something.”

The door was closed. Perry had taken her sister and sat her down on her bed. She made her sit back against her head board and take a few breaths. Tobin was on the verge of a panic attack, her first one, and she didn’t really know how to handle that. After a minute of heavy breathing she started to calm down enough to talk. 

“I love you.” She said looking at her sister with sad eyes. “I don’t want you to not love me.”

“Oh God, Tobin. There is nothing in this world that will ever make me not love you.” Perry said quickly reaching out and touching her sisters knee gently. 

Another deep breath, then another. Panic was trying to set in again but before it could take over she just said it. “I’m gay.”

Perry smiled. “Yeah.”

Shocked by the reaction Tobin sat up. “What do you mean yeah?”

This made Perry laugh a little. “Tobin I’ve known you since you were swimming around in moms stomach. I know you, and I know you’re gay. I’ve known for like a long time. Katie and I talked about it a few times over the years.”

“What, you know? Katie knows?” She shook her head. “Oh God does mom and dad know?”

“No, well I don’t know, I haven’t talked to them about it.” Perry was a little relieved. “I’ve only talked to Katie about it a few times, and I talked to Jeff about it once.”

“Jesus.” Tobin said her mouth hanging open. “You guys just talk about me being gay. No one thought to ask me.”

She shrugged. “We figured you tell us when you were ready. Tobin none of us care. We love you.”

“Thanks.” Tobin said snidely. “You guys are jerks for not talking to me about me… but at least you are sweet jerks.”

Chuckling to herself Perry gave Tobin’s knee a little slap. “That’s what has you so upset?”

“No.” Tobin said quickly, she had almost forgot about how angry she was. “I… I went on a date last night.”

“Figured.” Perry smiled over to her sister hoping to ease her tension.

“Do you just know everything about me?”

“I don’t know who it was with.”

That made the now a little calmer girl smile. “Alex Morgan.”

“That girl from your soccer team. Damn Tobs, good start.” She nodded her head happily. “What happened? Was it not good?”

“No that’s the thing it was wonderful.” Tobin said laughing at herself for sounding like a fairytale. “Alex is awesome, and the date went really well.”

“So…” Perry lowered one eyebrow.

“Kling.” Tobin said with anger in her voice. 

Perry sat up straight. “Wait you and Kling? I thought you two were just friends.”

“No we are.” Tobin cleared up. “She told Christen I went on a date.”

Perry let out a relieved breath. “Okay who’s Christen?”

“She works at the store with us.” Tobin said with a half-smile. “She’s also the one who invited us to the games in the park.”

Perry studied her sister for a moment, then came to her conclusion. “And you like Christen.”

The words kind of smacked her in the face. She had heard them before, she had even said them herself, but somehow hearing it come out of her older sisters mouth made them seem more real. 

“Why did you go out with Alex if you like Christen?”

Tobin looked down a little ashamed of her answer. “Because I like Alex too. And I know that’s wrong, and crazy, but I can’t help it.”

Perry nodded knowingly. “It’s not wrong to like two people Tobs, it’s only wrong to act on it.”

She nodded her head knowing what she meant. “Then what am I supposed to do?”

“Choose.” Perry said simply. “If you like Alex and you want to be with her then you need to be with her. You have to tell Christen that you just want to be her friend. If you like Christen and you want to be with her then you need to tell Alex and break it off before something develops between you two. You have to pick one or none, that’s the only way to not break someone’s heart. You’re not a heartbreaker Tobin, so you have to make choice.”

There is was, as simple as it could be put, she had to make a choice. Perry had made sure she was okay before she gave her a tap on the shoulder and left her to think. Tobin laid on her bed staring up at the ceiling. How the hell was she supposed to choose?

\--

The night was rough, sleep came in small increments. When the clock on her wall finally showed 700 she decided there was no point in just sitting on her bed, besides she didn’t eat dinner last night and her stomach was reminding her of that. She got up from her bed and headed down the stairs. Her mom was in the kitchen waiting on the coffee to be done. 

Tobin sulked over to her mom, she knew what she had to do. She stood next to her rubbing her right arm with her left hand. “I’m sorry about last night.” She said with the voice she always used when she messed up with her mom. “I was angry about the game last night and I took it out on you. That was wrong. I am really sorry mom.”

The disappointed look on her mom’s face quickly melted away. “I know you can get upset Tobin, but that doesn’t mean you yell at me.”

“I know.” Tobin said sadly, she felt like a little kid again.

“Next time just let me know you’re in a bad mood, okay.” She reached out and touched her arm pulling her in for a hug.

“Okay.” Tobin said softly as she accepted the warm hug from her mom.

“Do you want some coffee?” her voice had changed to her normal chipper tone.

Tobin gave her a huge smile. “Yes please.”

Her mom may have been a little overbearing especially when it came to soccer and church but she was understanding. She may not have known what was really going on with her, but she knew enough to let Tobin’s apology fly without prying further into it. They drank their coffee, Tobin listen intently about what her mom did yesterday and chiming in when prompted. It was nice to just listen to someone talk and not have to think so much. Before she knew it her mom was off to work and she was left in the kitchen eating pop tarts out of the package even though her mom insisted she get a plate or at least a napkin. Now she was alone with her thoughts once again.

She picked up her phone and sent a text to Meghan. –Tree?—

It wasn’t long before her phone buzzed. –10mins.—

She went upstairs and changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and took off for the meeting spot. When she reached the tree Meghan was already there kicking dirt up with her foot. She looked up and gave a small wave. Yeah, Tobin had messed that up and she knew it.

“Hey.” She said after reaching the tree.

“Hey.” Meghan said back.

 _Okay Tobin time to not be an asshole._ “I was an asshole.”

“You think.” Meghan said quickly. 

“Yeah, I was pissed off.” Tobin told her. She was looking down at the ground her nerves not letting her look up. “I was pissed at myself.”

“And at me.” Meghan said reluctantly accepting her role in the whole situation. 

A little calmed by the idea that her best friend was going to make this a little easy on her she let out a little laugh. “Yeah a little at you.”

“I didn’t mean to tell Christen you had a date… well I did, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I didn’t know you didn’t want her to know.”

“It’s not that.” Tobin leaned against the huge tree. “It’s not that I didn’t want her to know. I just didn’t think she knew. I just feel so stupid.”

“Why.” She walked closer to her friend.

Tobin could feel the sadness start to build up inside her again. She didn’t want to have another panic attack, or a partial one like she had last night. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She needed to just talk, if she kept it in she might just explode. “I messed up Kling.” She said quickly.

Meghan looked up with hopeful eyes. “How?”

“With Christen and Alex.”

Now Meghan’s heart was beating fast. “The date with Alex was a mistake?” she didn’t mean to say it like that.

“No, it wasn’t. It was great, I mean she was great, she _is_ great. But it was wrong to go out with Alex knowing that I have feelings for Christen.”

“So you do have feelings for Christen?” Meghan pointed her finger. “I knew it.”

“I like both of them.” Tobin said quickly. “And it’s stupid and wrong, and makes me feel a little dirty, but that’s how it is.”

Confused she leaned against the tree. “So, what are you going to do?”

Tobin took a breath and tried not to look worried. “I’m going to make a choice.”

“Who?” Meghan said hoping she would say Christen.

“I’m not really sure yet.” Tobin said honestly. “I just know I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

That was not what she had expected to hear. How could Tobin even think for a second that she would lose her. As much as she wanted to run over and tackle her, shake her and tell her to choose Christen at the end of the day she loved Tobin and nothing could ever change that. She took a few steps towards the obviously worried girl and threw her arms around her. 

“You can never get rid of me loser.” Meghan said squeezing as tight as she could. 

Tobin squeezed back. “And you can never get rid of me, nerd.”

They stood for a minute hugging each other as tight as they could, waiting for the other one to let go. This was a competition and no one was ever a winner, they would squeeze until they both couldn’t breathe and were forced to let go before dying. It was Tobin who let go first, but Meghan didn’t brag as usual.

“So, are we no soccer fridaying?” Tobin asked with a smile on her face.

“Shit.” Meghan said quickly. “Uh I kind of asked Christen to hang with us today. I asked her like two days ago. I can cancel, don’t worry just let me text her.”

Tobin shook her head. “No, uh it’s not a problem.”

“I thought you needed to think.” 

“I do, but it’s okay. I kind of need to apologize to her too.”

“Were you an ass to her again?”

Embarrassed she bowed her head. “Yeah kind of.” 

\--

No soccer Friday had gone exactly how it normally went, expect this time Christen was there running past them on the sprints and showing more general athletic skill then the both of them. They had started at Meghan’s house with some weights and strength training in the makeshift gym her dad had created in the garage. Then they walked to the track at the high school that Tobin and Meghan had spent their entire high school carrier running around. After sprints, and more strength training, they took the long way home with a light jog. Before they knew it was midafternoon and they were back at Meghan’s house headed into her back yard.

The three of them sat down in the grass, Tobin laying on her back letting out a tired breath. "That was a long run." She said stretching her arms out to her side.

Christen had her arms behind her propping herself up. "Felt good though." 

“Yeah because you dusted us.” Tobin laughed, she didn’t sit up from her spot in the grass. “I’m convinced you’re a robot.”

She tired girl giggled at the silly comment. “No, I just run a lot. I was training for a 10k in L.A.”

Meghan let out a loud scoff. “Yup, she’s a robot. I'm going to get some water." Meghan said jumping up.

The two girls sat there for a few seconds. Tobin was splayed out taking deep breaths to try and slow her heartbeat. Christen sat with her eyes closed letting the sun hit her face. It was peaceful, just sitting there in the grass, letting the sun beat down on them, but Tobin had to do something. She had spent the entire workout trying to find the words to tell Christen she was sorry for being weird yesterday. It seemed like she was spending a lot of time lately trying to figure out a way to apologize to Christen. She decided it was better if she just did it, ripping the band aide off.

“So I was kind of a jerk yesterday.” She didn’t get up from her spot she just kind of shouted the words into the open air.

Christen looked over at her. “No, you weren’t. I shouldn’t have asked about Alex.”

This made Tobin sit up. “Why?”

With a shrug of her shoulders she answered. “It wasn’t my business.”

“No, it kind of was.” She knew what she was talking about but she wasn’t ready to go into it fully. “I was an asshole and I didn’t mean to be. I’m really sorry. I promise I won’t be a jerk again.”

Christen laughed a little. “I feel like you’ve said that to me before.”

With an awkward laugh Tobin put hid her face in her hands. “Yeah I know.” She said through muffled hands. 

Tobin laid there trying to find more to say. Was there more she needed to say? She wanted to look over to Christen, to smile and reassure her that everything was okay but she didn’t. She laid on the grass hoping time would tick by faster.

"Hey check it out." Christen said getting up and heading towards the ball that was in the backyard. She couldn’t let Tobin sit there all nervous and embarrassed. "I know it's no soccer Friday, but I practiced last night." She set the ball behind her and with a quick flicked she rainbowed over her head. 

Tobin sat up quickly. "Wow you can actually do it now with no problem. You are a quick study. I feel like a proud mama." She gave her a huge smile closing her eyes and lifting her head up.

"I guess that makes me your baby." Christen said with her hands on her hips.

"Yup, you are my child." Tobin said in a serious tone. "Christen Heath."

Christen sat down in front of her. "Christen Press-Heath."

"You would hyphenate your name?" The question came out quickly.

She tilted her head up and raised one eyebrow. "I don't know. I've never thought about it before. I guess if we ever got married I might."

Tobin held her hand to her chest and gave and over exaggerated gasp. "You don't want to be a Heath?"

Christen laughed. "You don't want to be a Press?"

"I guess we could do a mashup." Tobin said casually. "Like... Hess."

This made her laugh. "No definitely not.” She thought for a few seconds. “How about Preath?"

Tobin nodded her head. "I like Preath."

The conversation had stopped. Neither of them knew where it came from. It just kind of happened both of them talking without thinking. Christen quickly spoke up.

"Too bad we could never get married."

Tobin felt her body stiffen. "We can't?"

"Nope." Christen told her with a serious face.

"Why not?" Her voice was higher than usual.

"Because I'm your child." She gave a huge goofy smile.

Tobin started to laugh. "Oh right incest."

Now Christen was laughing with her. "I feel like incest should be a bigger deal. You sounded way too casual."

"Oh I'm sorry." Tobin said then gave a serious look and spoke in a deeper voice. "Oh yeah incest."

Christen started to crack up, Tobin watched her laugh. 

"Why are you guys talking about incest?" Meghan came out throwing them water bottles.

"No reason." Christen said smiling over at Tobin.

The three of them sat around and talked, it felt like they had been doing it for years. Christen didn’t interrupt their flow a single bit, she added to it. They all played off each other two of them ganging up on the other. Tobin watched Christen as she talked, the more she watched her the more she realized that she wasn’t nervous, she was comfortable. No one had ever made their way into the two of them. There had been no one who fit the way Christen did. She was perfect sitting with them in a tiny circle, telling stories about her past, listening to all the stories they shared with her. As time ticked on Tobin got excited about the idea that it wasn’t just her and Kling against the world anymore, maybe now, and when they were in college in a few months, maybe it could be Tobin, Kling and Christen against the world.

After a few hours of them talking Christen looked at her phone and got wide eyes. “Shit, I have to go help my mom.” She jumped up from their circle. “Thanks for inviting me to work out today. I’ll see you guys on Sunday.” 

They watched her walk out the side gate and they were alone in the backyard they had spent the majority of their childhood sitting in. Meghan looked over to her friend who seemed to be lost in thought. 

“So, how goes the thinking?” She asked picking some grass from the ground and throwing it at her. 

Tobin looked up at her and smiled a little. “Good.”

“Have you figured it out yet?”

Taking a deep breath, Tobin laid back down in the grass, she looked up at the clouds as the wind moved them slowly across the sky. “Yeah I think so.”

\--

There they were, standing in front of the shop again. It was Saturday and they had a full week of work ahead of them. Tobin took a drink of the iced coffee in the huge plastic cup in front of her. She had a long night, and coffee was much needed. She shook the cup a few times before taking another drink. 

Meghan stood with her hands in her pockets. She would glance over at her best friend a few times, but she could tell she was lost in thought and there was no point in trying to pry her thoughts out just yet. Whatever choice Tobin had made it wasn’t going to easy for her to talk about. The only thing Meghan could do now was to be there for her friend.

“You ready?” the shorter girl asked with a huge breath of air.

Tobin looked over at her, straw in her mouth half chewed. “Yup.”

They walked in together heading for the back room. As they pushed their way into the door both of them trying to be first in, they tumbled into the room with a laugh. They didn’t see Ashlyn waiting on them. Normally the tall blonde was standing with a clipboard waiting on them to finally make their way in, but the room was empty. They looked around for a few seconds before a voice called out.

"Tobin can you come here for a second?" Ashlyn was sticking her head out of the office.

Tobin gave her friend a quick shove then walked into the office. "What's up boss."

Ashlyn looked scrambled, this was the first time Tobin had ever seen her in a mood other than chill. She looked over to Tobin with her hand behind her neck. "I need you to do me a huge favor. A shipment of custom jerseys was supposed to be here today but they got shipped to the store in New Haven instead."

"Connecticut?" She asked confused.

Ashlyn nodded her head, she had a wild look in her eye. "I need you to go get them."

Tobin's eyes got wide. "You need me to drive almost three hours to Connecticut?"

"Yes, they are supposed to be here by three today at the latest. This customer is a big deal to the store and if we mess up their order we are going to lose a lot of money and any future business they will have for us."

"Okay." She said with a shrug. "I don't have my car though, Meghan drove."

Ashlyn searched around her desk picking up a set of keys and holding them up for Tobin to see. "How many wrecks have you been in?" she asked holding back the keys for a second.

"None." Tobin said with a huge smile. “I’m a save driver. I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket.”

Ashlyn shook her head as if she was about to make a huge mistake. "I'm trusting you." Ashlyn handed over her keys.

Tobin cupped them in her hands, there was no stopping the huge grin now plastered on her face. "The Mustang are you kidding me?"

The older women handed her a small credit card. "This is the store card, use it for gas and some food."

With the card and keys in hand Tobin's face turned from responsible and trust worthy to the wide eyes of a typical teenager who was just given the keys to a mustang and a store credit card with unknown limits. She looked up at her boss and tried to wipe the sinister smile off her face.

"You can count on me boss." She said with a little half salute.

“Don’t speed! But make it back by three.” Her face was stern.

With a quick nod she tried to look as serious as she could. “You got it.”

Tobin practically ran out the office. She went over to Meghan and gave her a crazy look. "Dude I'm going to New Haven." She held up the keys. "In the mustang."

"Dude get out." She walked up to her and stared at the keys. "How'd you manage that?"

"Some jersey’s got shipped up there instead of here and Ashlyn needs them now." 

"See if I can go with you." Meghan said quickly. "You don't wanna drive to New Haven alone."

Ashlyn stuck her head out the office. "No you can't go someone has to work the stock room."

The shorter girl lost her excitement. "Not cool."

"I'll take pictures of the car for you." Tobin teased before turning and heading out the door. She heard her friend say something to her but she couldn't make out what though she knew it was some smart comment.

As she headed for the parking lot she thought about what her friend had said. She didn't want to drive to New Haven alone, it was a long trip and even though she'd be driving a bad ass car it would be nice to have some company. She knew exactly who to call on. She took out her phone and texted.

-you awake?-

-I am now.-

-sorry :) I'm driving to New Haven for work you wanna come with?-

-if you bring me coffee-

-be there in 20.-

She tucked her phone in her pocket and went in the coffee shop. She walked out with a mocha latte, a Carmel Frappuccino and a few pastries. If she was going to wake someone up on their off day she had better bring food as well as coffee. 

The car was awesome, a lot roomier than she expected. It smelled like body spray and mint, exactly how she would expect Ashlyn’s car to smell. She looked on the dash and saw a pair of thick rimmed RayBan sunglasses, oh yeah she was wearing those. She looked at herself in the mirror and fixed her hat a little. Now she looked cool, well as cool as she could look in her work shirt.

As she pulled up to the house she texted that she was there. She stood outside her hands tucked in her pockets waiting on her to come out. A few minutes later she was walking down the front steps heading towards her. 

_God she is beautiful_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comment section on this story got a little heated and that inspired me. I have decided to "sliding doors" this thing. The next chapters are being split into two different worlds, one where Tobin chooses Alex and one where she chooses Christen. Why? You are asking yourself. Well the more I thought about it the more I like both couples. My original end goal was Preath, so the Christen version will be all what I intended the story to be. But I loved my Talex relationship and decided to see where it was going. It's a challenge for me, I have never written like this and I am excited to try it out. Now everyone can read the version they wanted most, or they can read both and see how different each one would have played out. I hope everyone enjoys the adventure I am about to go on. I am super excited to get all my thoughts down and even more excited for people to read it. I do warn you though, now I am technically writing two stories so updates may take a little longer, bare with me. Thank you all so much.


	7. Christen, I choose you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A PREATH CHAPTER. 
> 
> If you want a Talex ending then skip this chapter and move on to the next. This chapter only shows if Tobin chose Chris. If you only in this to see what happens if Tobin chose Alex then read the next chapter instead. 
> 
> Preath fans read on and don't read the next chapter. 
> 
> Tobin takes Christen to New Haven with her. On the drive they get to know a little more about each other, including the fact the Tobin has decided to be only friends with Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my original idea for the story so it's in keeping with the lighthearted good nature I intended for this story to be. I hope everyone likes it.
> 
> If you are not a Talex fan you do not need to read the next chapter. This is a choose your own adventure book now. If you want her to be with Chris then stop reading and wait for the next update. I do warn you the next Chapter is Tobin picking Alex and it's fluffy and cute so if you don't want Talex don't read it. 
> 
> As always, don't pay attention to those crazy typos, they came out of nowhere. And thanks of love.

"Nice shades!"

"They are not mine."

"Figured, you're not cool enough to buy those."

"You wound me."

"You woke me up on my off day to drive to New Haven for work."

"True, we should go back and have you clock in maybe get paid in more than just the pleasure of my company."

"That would be nice." Christen got in the car and watched Tobin walk around the front. She had texted her. Of all the people in the world, Tobin texted her. She wanted to spend six hours in a car alone with her.

"Are you ready?" Tobin asked with a playful smile.

Happily, Christen nodded her head. "Yeah Tobin... I'm ready."

Last night she had a moment. It wasn’t when she was sitting in the grass with Christen, or when they had talked about being together. It was when she was sitting alone on her porch going over things in her that she had an epiphany. Here was a girl that had everything that she wanted, smart, funny, kind, beautiful, awesome soccer player. So why was she so afraid to just be with her. She thought about it and it hit her. 

Christen scared her because she was everything that she wanted and she didn’t think she had a chance. She had never asked out a girl before, and if she would have asked Christen out and gotten a big fat no then there was going to be no avoiding her. She worked with her, she played soccer with her, she was her friend. If Christen would have turned her down, she would spend the next four years of her life trying to avoid her. Worse than that she would have lost a friend. Christen was amazing and just being her friend would have been enough. But now the idea was in her head. Now she had turned down the girl she had wanted for years. Now there was no going back. She needed to at least try to be with Christen. If she never asked, never found out what could be she knew she would regret it.

"This is Ashlyn’s car." Christen said, it was a statement and not a question. She started to look around. "That means Ali sits here, which means..." she reached in the door pocket and pulled out a pair of aviator mirrored sunglasses. "Yes! Lucky for me Ali is the type to leave a pair of shades in her girlfriend’s car."

Tobin glances over at her, she looked good. "Are we Ashlyn and Ali now?"

Looking at herself in the visor mirror Christen gave her a small laugh. "I wouldn't mind being them. I mean they are both professional soccer players. College grads. Super cool and super hot."

"You think Ashlyn is hot?" Tobin felt a little nervous, Ashlyn was way cooler than her.

Christen looked over at her and smiled. "Yeah, you don’t?”

Tobin smiled, she never thought of Ashlyn as attractive, just as awesome and super cool. “She’s not really my type.” She told her in a happy tone. 

“She’s defiantly mine.” Christen took a drink from the coffee Tobin had brought her, it was just what she wanted and she didn’t even have to tell her. “Besides you and I can't be Ashlyn and Ali."

"Why not?" Now the nerves were taking over.

"We are not dating." Christen said a little coldly. "I guess you and Alex would have to be Ashlyn and Ali."

"Yeah about that." Tobin said gripping the steering wheel. "Alex and I aren't together."

"I thought you said the date went well?" Christen questioned herself. Why ask why, just be happy? But at the same time she needed to know why.

Tobin nodded slowly. "It did, but we talked last night and we both decided that we were not right for each other, at least not anymore. It's not high school anymore. Besides we both kind of like someone else."

"No way."

"Yeah we are both in kind of the same situation." She paused for a few seconds before adding. “We are going to be friends though.”

This was the best she could do for now. She wanted to tell Christen everything. She wanted to tell her that she had to make a choice and she chose her. She wanted to ask her if she liked her too. She needed some kind of confirmation that everything was going to be okay. As Christen took another drink from her coffee and discovered the food sitting in the center Tobin thought about her time with Alex last night. 

\--

It was late, almost too late to even be out, but Tobin was driving around town listening to music trying to get her thoughts in order. The more she thought about what she had to do the more her stomach seemed to tie itself in knots. She hadn’t eaten anything and was no beginning to regret that. If she had stopped to eat, she would have over thought the whole thing and maybe not even gone out at all. She drove around a few extra streets letting herself calm down. At a stop sign she took out her phone and texted Alex that she needed to talk.  
   
Alex’s house was exactly how you would picture a house. A huge front yard with rose bushes surrounding a large porch with tall squared off columns. Tobin stood in her driveway, parked behind Alex’s red car. She had the words in her head; exactly what she needed to say, yet when Alex walked out the house she lost it all.  
   
“Tobin Heath.” Alex said in a chipper voice. It was Tobin’s face, the sadness on it that turned her tone from happy to concern. “What’s going on?”  
   
Tobin’s hands started to shake, her mouth went dry and her mind went blank. Was she really about to do this? Was she really about to tell the girl she had wanted for over five years that she wanted to be with someone else?  
   
Alex touched her arm gently the way she did the other night in the parking lot. “What’s wrong Tobin?”  
   
“I’m sorry Alex.” Tobin said without looking up. She couldn’t look at her, there was no way she could get any of this out if she had to look at her. “I… I don’t think we can see each other anymore.”  
   
“Oh.” The word came harshly, it was quick and brutal cutting deep. After a minuet Alex spoke again. “Well that sucks.” She said lightly. She leaned against the side of the car next to Tobin. “What happened? I thought we had a good time.”  
   
“We did.” Tobin said quickly, now she could look up. “We had an amazing time. I just… there’s someone else.” That sounded bad. “I’m not dating anyone or anything. I just, I have feelings for someone else.”  
   
Alex took a deep breath. “What’s her name?”  
   
That was unexpected. “Uh- her name is Christen. She works at the pitch.”  
   
Nodding her head she asked. “The girl at the front counter?”  
   
Tobin nodded slowly.  
   
Alex smiled. “She’s cute.”  
   
Amazed by the reaction Tobin shook her head and smiled. “Uh yeah.”

“Well this really sucks, but if it’s what you want. If it’s what’s going to make you happy.” Alex’s voice was light, the little rasp in it coming in and out as she spoke. She didn’t sound angry, disappointed, but not pissed off the way Tobin thought. 

“Why are you so calm?” Tobin asked.  
   
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She chuckled a bit. “Tobin it’s okay. I like you, I really do and if I had the option I would do this with you, but it’s okay if we can’t. I understand having feelings for someone else, I really get it.” She leaned to the side knocking her arm into Tobin’s. They both laughed a little lighting the mood. “While dating Tobin Heath would be awesome I can defiantly settle for being her friend.”  
   
Now breathing easy Tobin settled against her car. “You are so cool. Why couldn’t we have done this in high school?”  
   
“Because we were both lame.” Alex joked. “Besides we don’t get to pick when people come into our lives, and when they will finally have to courage to talk to us.”  
   
“You got that right.” Tobin was happy to hear how well Alex was taking everything. “Hey, you said you know how it is to have feelings for someone else. Does that mean you have feelings for someone else?”  
   
Alex gave a loud and drawn out sigh tossing her head back. “Yes, but I am a fool.”  
   
“Why are you a fool?” Tobin was chuckling at her response.  
   
“She doesn’t even live here.” Alex told her. “I met her on a forum for Berkeley soccer players. She is going there next year too. She is awesome and gorgeous and funny and Canadian.”  
   
“Canadian?” she gasped lightheartedly.  
   
Alex sighed. “Yup. We met on the forum got each other’s Facebooks and Instagram and twitter. Then we started texting and she is incredible. But it’s stupid because we have never met in person. That’s why when I saw you in the store I thought, holy shit it’s Tobin Heath, if there is anyone in the whole world that can make this shitty summer better it’s her. It was stupid and kind of underhanded now that I really think about it, but I don’t know, I just wanted a good fun summer and not to pine over someone who is not even in the same country as me.”  
   
“But she will be I the same country soon.” Now Tobin was invested in the situation. She felt better knowing Alex had done practically the same thing she had done. “So it’s not dumb.”  
   
“I don’t know.” Alex said. She shook her head, it was time to change the subject and get back on why Tobin was in her front yard breaking up with her. “So Christen, long brown hair, amazing green eyes? Are you going to ask her out or what?”  
   
Tobin scoffed. “No… I don’t know.”  
   
“What’s the issue Tobin Heath?” Alex punched her lightly in the shoulder.  
   
With a deep breath she explained herself as simply as she could. “She scares me.”  
   
“Aw, that’s so cute.” Alex teased her a little, then she got a serious look on her face. “You know what… I am going to help you.”  
   
“You are?” Tobin asked.  
   
“Yup I am.” She said with a determined look. “I am going to help you get your girl under one condition.”  
   
“What’s that?”  
   
“You are going to help me get Moe and Kling together.”  
   
Tobin’s jaw dropped. “Wait Morgan Brian likes Kling?”  
   
“Uh-yeah.” Alex said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “She’s liked her for years, and I know Kling likes her too, I can tell. So you and I are going to help those two helpless losers, and I am going to help you.”  
   
“What about you?” Tobin asked noticing Alex was totally selfless in this deal.  
   
“I’m fine.” Alex said quickly.  
   
Tobin stood up straight. “Nope. I will help you with Morgan and Kling, and I will allow you to help me with Christen if you make progress with your Canadian… what’s her name?”  
   
“Sophie.” Alex said with a little smile. “Fine, it’s a deal.”

 

\--

 

Tobin thought over their talk, it crossed her mind to just tell Christen everything, but she couldn't, not yet. In time she would be able to tell Christen everything, but for now she wanted to have this time with her without messing it up. This trip was about Christen knowing she was there now, she was in it now and there was nothing standing in her way.

First Tobin needed to make sure Christen knew Alex was no longer an option for her, and that they were not together by choice. "Alex has this huge crush on some girl from Canada that is going to Berkeley next year. So we are going to be friends. Alex is awesome, probably one of the coolest people in the world. I know you two would be really good friends. And... her best friend Morgan likes Kling so we are teaming up to get them together."

"Sounds exciting." There was hesitation in her voice. Christen wanted to ask the question. She wanted to know who Tobin liked but she didn't want to hear an answer she wasn't ready for so the subject was quickly changed. "So the national team is playing in three weeks."

Tobin popped up in her seat a little. "Yeah, it's on a Friday so I'm off, but I would have to ask off on Saturday unless we drive back the night of."

"I’m sure Ashlyn would give you and Kling that Saturday." She took a huge breath, this was going to be a leap but she needed to take it. "I'm going, maybe we can all drive up together."

Tobin looked over and smiled. "Yeah that would be cool."

And now for the final touch. "Hope and I were actually thinking of getting a hotel for Friday night. Do you think you and Meghan would be up for that?"

Her heart started to beat faster. "Uh-yeah that would be cool. I'm sure Kling would be down too." She swallowed hard; a hotel room, with Christen, holy shit.

Tobin had been in a hotel room without her parents exactly four times. Every year the final game of the year, the championship game was played at neutral territory, which meant the team traveled. The school would put them up in a hotel room for free. Parents went, but her parents never chaperoned the trip. It would be four girls in one room with two queen beds. All the girls would always go swim in the pool at night, but Tobin and Meghan spent their time watching television and talking over the game. She was eighteen and she had never been on an unsupervised overnight trip, and now she was thinking of going on one with the girl she liked. Things were getting pretty crazy pretty fast. 

Awkwardly Tobin reached over and turned on the radio. “Let’s see what kind of music Ashlyn is into.”  
   
The radio started to blast a Fall Out Boy song. Christen laughed. “I guess we know Ashlyn was probably a skater in high school. Well that kind of seals the deal.”  
   
“You don’t like skaters?” Tobin asked feeling a little worried.  
   
Christen looked over at her with wide eyes. “No I like skaters. I've always wanted to learn how to ride a skateboard. I can get on one and go forward for like a few seconds before I lose balance.”  
   
“I can skate.” Tobin said happy now that she knew Christen was into her one other hobby in the world. “I long board. I took it up in the ninth grade. I saw someone riding down the street and thought it was the coolest thing ever. I go out whenever I need to clear my head. I like it because it’s not about tricks it just about cruising.”  
   
“Long boarding is defiantly for the laid back skater.” Christen said nodding her head. “I should have figured you for something like that. You are so Cali.”  
   
She laughed, “Am I?”  
   
“Yeah you are so chill about pretty much everything. You dress Cali with your ripped up jeans and tank tops, and snapback. You would fit well in Long Beach, especially if you were long boarding down the peer.”  
 

She had never thought of herself as chill before. It must have been her complete inability to speak to anyone besides Meghan that made her seem so chill. For once her awkwardness made her look cool.

Tobin thought about riding down a peer the ocean in front of her the wind against her face. She thought about how it would be to just ride and feel the sun against her skin. Then she thought about how it would be to have Christen on the board with her, standing in front of her pressed firmly against her, she would wrap her arms around her waist and steady her on the board, make sure she knew she was safe, that she would take care of her. Maybe one day.  
   
“What are you thinking about?” Christen asked noticing how intensely Tobin was staring at the road ahead.  
   
Dropped out of her thoughts Tobin tuned and grinned nervously. “I should have gone to school in California.”  
   
“Did you get accepted to UCLA?” Christen asked.  
   
Tobin nodded her head slowly with a wondering look on her face. “Berkeley actually. I thought about it too, really hard. But I decided on UNC.”  
   
“Why, I mean it’s California?”  
   
She gave a little laugh then bit her bottom lip. “Kling. She got into Berkeley, but it was only a partial scholarship, there was no way her family could make up the difference, plus she got a full ride to UNC… I couldn’t leave her, she’s my best friend, my sister.”  
   
It was in that moment Christen realized just how amazing Tobin was, and in that she realized how great her relationship is with Meghan. They would do anything for each other, even spend hours talking to her and coaching her on how to get Tobin’s attention because Meghan knew that would make her happy. She didn’t know if Tobin really wanted to go to Berkeley or if it was just a thing that could have happened, a path her life could have taken, but knowing she would give it up just so she could be with her best friend made this amazing girl even more perfect.  
   
“But hey.” Tobin said loudly. “UNC is a great school, it’s a good size and their team kicks major ass. I’m not upset about Berkeley. It would have been cool and California is way better than North Carolina but I’d rather be with my best friend. And now you.” She looked over at her and smiled.  
   
Christen smiled shyly. “Yup now you have me.”  
   
The drive was good, they talked the entire time without pause, except to sing the early 2000’s rock music that was playing on the radio. Christen had never been this far north so Tobin talked about the towns as the passed each exit sign on the highway. She told her about her childhood and how they would take little mini vacations to places around here to just get away. Turns out Tobin had never been further west than Ohio or further south than Virginia, she had however been to Canada a few times. Christen told her all about her trips in the west side of the United States. She talked about California and Washington State in a way that made Tobin promise herself that she would go see before she got out of college. Turns out they had a lot in common the biggest one being that they both wanted to play professional soccer.  
   
Tobin was a diehard Portland Thorns fan and much to her upset Christen would never let go of the Chicago Redstars. They wanted to play for real, not just for fun. They wanted to put on National Team jerseys and represent the US at the world cup and the Olympics. The more they talked about it the more they realized they wanted to achieve this goal together, all though neither of them were ready to say that out loud.  
   
“So I never asked you.” Tobin said as she turned off the exit to New Haven. “What’s your major?”  
   
“Kind of a cliché pick up line eh Tobin.”  
   
She quickly turned her head towards Christen, her face now washed with panic. “I wasn’t trying to pick you up.”  
   
Christen started to crack up. “I know.” She said through hard laughs.  
   
Tobin shook her head “Jees, why do people like messing with me?”  
   
Still laughing she responded. “Because your reactions are cute.” That’s not what she meant to say, but it was the truth. Almost everything Tobin did was cute. She watched her relax her shoulders and take a breath, as much as she wanted to mess with her a little more just to see what happens she decided to let her off the hook. “I am majoring in Communications. At least that’s what I am choosing now, who knows what will happen when I get there.”  
   
“That’s really cool. I thought about Communications and English and Philosophy and History.”  
   
“I take it you are undeclared.”  
   
She bobbed her head up and down. “For now. I will have to pick eventually, but for now, I’m majoring in soccer.”  
   
“God yes!” Christen said holding her hands up and lowering her head. “I am going to have enough to focus on with soccer, I don’t want to even think about writing a two thousand word essay on _The Death of Ivan Ilyich_ ”  
   
“Tolstoy.”  
   
Christen looked over at her. “You do read.”  
   
“Yeah. Why did you say it like that?”  
   
“The first day we met Kling said all you do is soccer and you said that you read, and she said “Abby Wambachs bio doesn’t count.” But I guess she was wrong, you do read.” Christen said making sure to sound more complimentary than it first came out.  
   
“Yeah Kling is a jerk.” She chuckled a little bit. “Don’t get me wrong my life is soccer. That’s my end goal, but I like other things too, I just don’t talk about them as often.”  
   
Looking at her in new light Christen nodded her head and smiled. “Yup, like long boarding and reading.”

“What about you?” Tobin asked looking over to her. “What do you love besides soccer?”

Thinking k over her life Christen had one answer. “Music.”

“Do you sing?” she asked a little shocked by her answer. 

Christen shook her head, her eyes looked determined like she was focused on something. “I play the guitar.”

The look on her face made Tobin smile. “Are you any good.”

“I’m pretty good.” She said with a little nod. “I think if I didn’t have soccer maybe I would have run away and tried to start a band or something. Lived my life one gig at a time, crashing on my friends couches, never having enough money for a full meal.”

“That does not sound ideal.” Tobin chuckled at herself for sounding like her mom.

“That’s the point.” She told her. “It’s complete freedom. No one tells you what to do. No one makes you get up to run, or makes sure you take fifty free kicks before you come off the field. You just go around playing music that touches people, then go find a couch to sleep on.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Tobin realized the two of them were no different, they both had the same pressures. “Maybe I should learn to play guitar, and we can go bum around L.A together.”

“Learn to play the bass and you got yourself a deal.”

They had pulled into the parking lot for the store. They both got out of the car. It wasn’s going to take long for Tobin to grab the box, but Christen was curious on how the shop looked compared to theirs in Jersey. They walked in together and Christen saw that it wasn’t different at all except the front counter was to the right instead of the left. Tobin asked for the box and a large man brought it out and handed it to her. With a quick thank you, they were both out of the store and ready to go.

“Is it good or sad that the stores look exactly alike?” Christen asked as she watched Tobin shove the box into the trunk.

Tobin closed the lid down. “I think it’s sad, and good. It’s sad because it’s a chain store and it kind of takes some of the magic out of our store. But it’s also good because I would know where everything is in that store without a single issues. That’s probably why they designed it that way.”

“You are one optimistic person.” Christen said with a smile.

“Silver lining and all that crap.” She shrugged her shoulders. 

Christen chuckled at her comment. “Very articulate. So Mrs. New England, what should we eat?”

“Well I think I saw a diner back there a few blocks.” 

“A real New England dinner.” Christen said trying to sound overly excited.

“I don’t think that’s a thing.” Tobin said opening up the car and climbing in. When Christen was in the passenger’s seat she gave her a smile. “I think the south is who’s known for their diners.”

“Either way, I could use a cheeseburger.” 

“Hear Hear!” Tobin turned on the car. 

Christen faced Tobin and in a breathy tone said. “Thanks for inviting me on your road trip.”

A huge smile came across her face. “I couldn’t imagine it with anyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to read a Talex ending do not read the next chapter. The next chapter is strictly Talex. And it's fluffy so don't do it to yourself if you a pure Preath fan.


	8. Alex, I choose you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is strictly Talex. If you are in it for a Preath ending you are in the wrong place. The last chapter was Preath. This is the side that Tobin chooses Alex, so if that's what you want, or if your just curious read on. 
> 
> Tobin decides to take Alex to New Haven with her. On the way the begin to learn different things about each other bringing them closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a secondary version of the story. It is going to be a little angsty, but I intended to keep it happy. I'm really excited to write and develop this relationship especially since it wasn't my original plan.
> 
> As always, the typos are not real, they are just in your head, and thanks for the love.

"Wow sweet ride." Alex walked down the steps on her porch.

"Totally not mine." Tobin laughed.

She stood in front of Tobin. "I take it the shades aren't yours either?"

Tobin laughed again, leaning back a little. "Nope."

"Don't worry Tobin Heath, I still like you." She leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

The biggest smile grew on Tobin's face. She lowered her head trying to hide how much of a happy dork she was in that moment, but it showed and maybe now it didn't matter. Alex liked her, she agreed to drive almost six hours with her, maybe now she could relax just a little with the girl she liked.

"You ready to go?" Tobin asked reaching over for the door handle. "Your chariot with Carmel Frappuccino awaits you."

Alex did a little hop backwards and waited for the door to be open. She got in the passenger’s seat and watched Tobin walk around the front of the car. Tobin Heath was turning out to be just as amazing as she imagined.

Tobin got in the car and looked over at the girl in the passenger’s seat. "You ready for this?"

"I've been ready for a while." Alex told her. 

Alex was wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and a blue and yellow striped tank top a pair of black giant sunglasses hook to the front pulling the shirt down just a little in the front. Tobin watched out the corner of her eye as Alex took a drink of the coffee and gave a closed mouth smile and hummed to herself. She was amazingly beautiful especially when she did little things that she probably thought no one noticed.

"So who's bitchen car is this?" Alex set her coffee in the cup holder and looked around the car wide eyed.

Tobin smiled. "It's my managers. She's pretty awesome, way cooler than me."

"Oh for sure." Alex said playfully. "No offense, but how does the manager at The Pitch afford something like this. I mean this is a 2016 Shelby GT500, fully loaded with 20in carbon fiber rims. This is not something you just buy."

Tobin cut her eyes towards the now even more impressive girl. "Uh-who are you?"

With a gigantic smile she responded. "I'm Alex Morgan." She laughed for a second. "I have other hobbies besides soccer you know."

Tobin laughed with her. "I didn't think it would be sports cars."

"It's not really, I just know a lot about them. My dad loves cars and he has only girls so he kind of took me under his wing and taught me a lot. I'm not a huge car junkie or anything I just know a good one when I see it." She took a long drink from her cup. "I'm probably going to get something bad ass like this when I'm a famous soccer player."

So Alex wanted to make it to nationals too, this was a great sign. "That's how Ashlyn affords this car. She plays pro in Europe, she hurt her arm during a game and the store is just something for her to do until she is fully healed."

“What, you work with a pro?” Alex said shocked. “Man that must be so cool. I work with a guy name Craig, he’s like 32 and he hits on me.”

Tobin laughed. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t laugh.”

“No it’s okay.” Alex said with a laugh. “I already told him I was going to kick him in the balls after he told me I had nice hair.”

This made Tobin laugh so hard she had to focus on keeping the powerful car in the right lane. “Damn, I was going to ask if you wanted me to kick his ass but it sounds like you have it all under control.”

Alex smiled over at her. “You would fight for me?”

“Well I would try. I’ve never been in a fight before.” Tobin told her.

“Me either.” Alex said simply. “But I’m pretty sure a kick to the balls is kind of self-explanatory. I don’t think I have to take a class on it or anything.”

“Maybe we should start a fight club.” Tobin said casually.

Alex was about to take a sip of her coffee when she paused. “You want to start a fight club?”

“No.” Tobin said with a smile. “But it would be kind of funny.”

“A bunch of soccer players standing in a dirty basement kicking each other.” She looked over at the girl driving who now had a silly grin on her face. “How do I get into such weird conversations with you?”

Cracking up she answered. “I have no idea. I am not normally this weird.”

“Oh so it’s me.” Alex said acting offended. “I bring it out in you?”

“I think so.” she chuckled. 

Tobin watched as Alex discovered the pastries she had brought. She made a dorky comment about baked goods and started eating, bouncing a little in her seat as she took the first bite. As she listened to her talk she thought about her night.

\--

It was early in the night, the point in time when the sun was about to set so the sky was painted a pale pink. Tobin was sitting on her front porch playing a game on her phone. She wasn’t paying attention she was thinking about what she had to do. She had made her choice, she wanted to be with Alex, but somehow she had to let Christen know. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep if she didn’t talk to her, but she didn’t know what to say. After an hour of mindlessly sliding her finger across the screen she stood up and got in her car. 

 

The drive wasn’t too long, and in a way that was a bad thing; she didn’t get much time to think, but it also helped because she didn’t get a lot of time to think. She ended up parked in the street outside Christens house. She texted her and waited for a reply. A few minutes later Christen was walking out of her house and towards her.

“Hey what’s going on Tobin?” her face was worried if she knew exactly what was about to happen.

“I need to talk to you.” Tobin said, tears threatening to escape her eyes.

Christen took a deep breath and stood facing her house, leaning against the car. “Okay.”

Tobin had spent her whole life avoiding relationships with everyone around her, and now here she was practically having to break up with one of the most amazing people she had ever met. How did this happen? She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans and flipped the dime she had in the left one. She needed to talk, but how?

“You just want to be friends.” Christen said in a low voice.

Tobin looked over at her. She opened her mouth to speak but words didn’t come out. 

“You want to be with Alex.” Christen told her. She was talking like all of it was more of a proven fact and less of a question even though it was all a question to the girl standing slack jawed next to her. “It’s okay.”

Tobin didn’t expect to hear those words. “I’m sorry.” Was all she could muster.

“I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt.” She stood up straight and stood in front her.

Those impossibly green eyes started to glass over with tears and it was breaking Tobin’s heart. “Christen, I am so sorry.” Now the tears that were once hidden behind her eyes were falling down her cheeks. She bowed her head. Her heart felt like it was going to fall out of her chest. “I am so sorry.”

Christen reached out and touched her cheek. She pulled her head up to look at her. “Hey, it’s okay.” She took a step closer and put her arms around her holding her close. “It’s okay.”

Tobin squeezed her tight, she could feel her heart beating against her. She could feel her body trembling slightly. She held tighter maybe if she held onto her tighter it wouldn’t hurt so much. Pressing her face down into her shoulder she could here Christen sobbing into her. She held on to never letting the pressure fall. This was the right thing to do, but it didn’t feel very good.

The stayed still crying softly into each other for a minute before they both broke the strong hug. Tears were running down their faces. Christen looked at her and tried not fall apart. She leaned in close and felt Tobin lean into her. The moment hanging in the air, finally they kissed. It was hard yet tender and soft. It was their first kiss and they both knew it was their last. 

Christen was the one who pulled away, lowering her head to not look at her. “I should go.”

“Chris…”

She looked up at her, almost caught in those dark eyes. “No… It’s okay, I am going to be okay. It’ll take time, but I will be okay. I just want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy.” Tobin sobbed.

She reached up and wiped the tears from Tobin’s face, her cheeks soft against her hand. “I will be. As long as we are friends.”

“Yes, of course.” She cried out.

“Then it will be okay.”

They hugged again, this one shorter, but with just as much passion. Christen pulled away and gave her one last smile before turning and walking to her house. She couldn’t look back, not yet.

Tobin watched her until she was in the house and the door was shut. This was the right thing to do. 

\--

The kiss ran through Tobin’s mind, was it something she needed to tell Alex? It didn’t mean anything towards how she felt about the girl sitting next to her, it was something that needed to happen between her and Christen. Maybe it was something that needed to be said and it was anything like telling the truth to your parents sooner was way better than later.

“Alex I have to tell you something.” Tobin said in a serious voice.

She was taking a bit of the raspberry croissant when she gave Tobin a nod.

“There’s a girl at my shop, Christen.” Maybe she didn’t have to tell her, but it would eat her up if she didn’t. “Well she liked me, I liked her I’m not really sure about all of it, I’m not even sure she liked me. Anyways I talked to her last night, I wanted to let her know that I just wanted to be friends, because I really do want to be her friend. Well, she kissed me, I kissed her, we kissed each other. I don’t know. It felt like a last kiss, even though it was the first one, but it felt final. I just, I needed to tell you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. But I just want to be friends, with her, because of you, well it’s not your fault, that makes it sound like it’s your fault, and it’s not. I just like you, and that’s why. I don’t know…”

Alex did her a favor and cut her off. “Tobin Heath, take a breath.” She was smiling, this was a good sign. “You had a crush on the cute girl at the store, she had a crush on you which I can’t blame her for that. You two kissed, but you want to be her friend. It’s okay.”

Tobin looked over for a second before looking back at the road. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Alex reached out and touched her arm. “As long as you don’t plan on going around kissing girls…”

“No.” Tobin said quickly. “No I don’t. I don’t even know how to do that.”

Alex was laughing, panicked Tobin was quickly becoming an extremely cute thing. She leaned across the car and gave the worried girl a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, I was just joking. You’re not that type of person Tobin Heath. I trust you.”

Her heart rate was now on its way back down. That was one of the hardest things she had to do but it was the right thing to do. If this thing with Alex was going to turn into a relationship she didn’t want to start it off on a lie. It may not have been a big deal romantic wise, but it was a big thing friendship wise. If Christen and Alex met and she had never said anything Alex may have been blindsided one day and that was not something she wanted. For the first time in her life Tobin had someone other than herself and Meghan to worry about. It wasn’t just Alex that she needed to make sure everything was okay with, she needed to make sure Christen was okay too. It was going to take time to put their friendship on the right track, but it was going to be worth it. 

 

Tobin looked out the corner of her eye, Alex was watching her, she had a smirk on her face. “What?” she asked. 

Alex lowered her head a little and her smirk turned into a smile. “You were just working something out in your head weren’t you?”

Hesitant to let Alex know that she could read her so well in such a short time she gave her a little half nod. 

“You think a lot, don’t you?” It was asked sweetly. 

Tobin again slowly nodded her head. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all, I just know now.”

“Know what?”

“To give you time.”

Alex watched the look on Tobin’s face turn from worried to happy, it was in this moment she knew she was going to have to work a little with the nervous girl, bring out the confidence that she knew was inside. This was something she was more than willing to do, after all Tobin was the one person in the whole world that made her feel this way. They had only been talking for a few days, but already she was comfortable, like she could say anything, do anything and it was all going to be okay. Tobin Heath made her feel safe.

They drove the entire way their conversations turning from one odd thing to another. Alex was full of comments on ever subject. She had a full life, she went on trips with friends and family, she had seen a lot of the world and described it with such detail it made Tobin feel like she was there. They discussed school and Tobin got the perspective of Alex and what it was like to do all the things she had always wished she would have done. Alex finally saw the world through Tobin’s eyes. Between the two of them, mainly Alex talking, they shared pieces of themselves they had never shared before, in all it they started to learn everything about each other. 

“Wait, so you were locked in a cabinet for two hours.” Tobin asked listening to Alex talk about her family. 

Alex bobbed her head up and down, her face was stern but happy. “Yup, they locked me in there and left me until my dad came home and let me out. I’m the youngest, they tortured me.”

Tobin was cracking up. “We were pretty bad, but nothing like that. Though we did shave Jeff’s head when he was six.”

“Like full on shave?”

“Well it started out as a reverse mohawk, shaved down the middle, then we took it too far. By the time my mom got home her just had a little patch in the back. My mom was livid. She grounded us for two weeks. My dad had to finish shaving his head. He didn’t have hair for like three weeks.”

Alex was laughing so hard she had to lean against the window. “Man that’s brutal. We never did that. I mean, Jenny did cut my bangs when I was little and it was horrific, but she wasn’t trying to be mean, we were just young and dumb.”

“That was our last trip into hairstyling.” Tobin told her with a smile. “I think if my mom ever saw us with scissors near anyone’s hair again she would have a fit.”

“Are your parents super strict?” This was one of the first serious question Alex had ever asked.

Thinking about it for a few seconds she half shook her head half nodded. “Not about things like that. I mean we got in trouble for little things when we were younger, but as we got older it turned into different things. Grades, soccer, boys…”

“Do your parents know you’re gay?” Alex was on a role with the serious questions.

“No.” Tobin said in a sad tone. “My parents are really religious like I work Sundays so I have to go to mass on Thursdays kind of religious. I just don’t know how to tell them something like that.” She paused for a second and thought about her family. “My sisters and brother know. Apparently they discussed it before which is news to me because I just came out to Perry like two days ago.”

“Yeah that’s how Jenny and Jeri were. I told them first, well I told Moe first, but I told them before I told my parents. I didn’t think my parents would care or anything, I just felt like I needed them behind me. They have always been behind me, standing there no matter what. So I told them and they kind of just nodded and told me they already knew and they loved me. They literally stood behind me when I told my mom, who was super cool, and they held my had when I told my dad, who took it the best. I think he was just happy there wasn’t going to be another boy at his doorstep asking for one of his daughters.” She laughed at her own joke letting Tobin know that the serious part of their conversation was over.

“I think if a boy came to the door asking for me, my mom would faint.” Tobin said quickly. “She thought I was dating Christian for like two weeks sophomore year.”

“Ah from the boys soccer team? He’s such a sweet guy.” Alex said lovingly. “I dated a few guys. I never got further than just sitting next to each other during lunch and a quick kiss after school. I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to stop going through the motions with guys so I came out.”

“Yeah I was shocked.” Tobin thought about the day she heard Alex had come out. “I never officially came out.”

“Oh we all knew.” She said it with a little attitude.

“Jesus, really?” she sounded genuinely shocked. 

Alex started to laugh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean you give off that vibe. Well you don’t really give off anything, you were so laid back like all the time, no one really knew a lot about you. But we were all sure you were gay. I mean you have a thing about you.”

“Great, I guess I have a thing about me.”

She couldn’t help my crack up. “It’s just how you are. You have a thing. Don’t worry it’s a good thing. You were quiet, like really quiet. You always seemed lost in your world, but when you did speak… well that kind of rocked my world.”

Tobin looked over at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Alex admitted, a little embarrassed but happy to give the anxious girl a little confidence. “We had the same English class in junior year. In the beginning of class the teacher made us all stand up and say stuff about ourselves and what we wanted out of the class. I hated that by the way. But I remember exactly what you said.”

“You do?”

She nodded her head, biting her bottom lip a little. “You were wearing a soccer jersey, Mia Hamm’s Olympic jersey and a pair of black jeans with a hole in the knee. You had a soccer ball tucked under your arm as per usual. You stood up and said, “I’m Tobin, I like soccer and reading. I hope we don’t read any Sylvia Plath because she depresses me.” Then you just sat down.”

Tobin started to laugh, she remembered that moment too. She had noticed Alex in her class and that made her freak out a little. When she realized she had to talk in front of the class she practiced what she had to say, but she did not mean to say the last part. 

“I remember that because you were the only person to even mention a book, and I thought it was pretty awesome.”

She nodded her head. “Well I like to read, and Sylvia Plath depresses me.”

“So I’ve heard.”

It was so much easier to talk to Alex then it had been to talk to almost everyone in the world. When Alex spoke, her raspy voice seemed to calm Tobin, taking away her nerves and allowing her to just relax. Alex was a jokester, she enjoyed poking fun of Tobin, but in a small way, little comments that always made Tobin laugh along with her. They never stayed on one topic long, Alex had a tendency to stray away from topics like her brain was running a marathon and making connections Tobin would never think about. Their conversation continued on steady until Tobin took an exit into the city of New Haven.

It was another thirty minutes before they reached the store. Tobin parked the car and ran into the store to grab the box. Alex got out the car and waited by the car, she texted her best friend.

\--It’s going amazing. She’s amazing— she answered the question posed to her.

\--You have a girlfriend.— Morgan texted back.

Alex smiled at the text. –Not yet.—

 

Tobin walked out of the store holding onto the box of jerseys. “Got ‘em.” She announced proud of herself. As she put them in the trunk and closed the lid she stared over at Alex who was smiling at her phone. Alex Morgan had always been beautiful but here now with her dark brown hair and lightly tanned skin Tobin couldn’t help but think of how gorgeous she truly was. 

Alex held up her phone. “Morgan checking up on me.”

“Does she think I am a serial killer?” the jokes came remarkably easy when she talked to her.

“Yup, if I don’t text her every hour on the hour she will call the cops.”

“Good thing this isn’t my car.”

Alex chuckled at the comment then made her way to the back of the car to stand in front of Tobin. “So what’s the best thing to eat around here?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only been to New Haven like three or four times.”

“You’ve been here three of four times and you don’t know the local food places. What’s your deal?”

Tobin knew she was joking but she couldn’t help herself she put on a serious face. “You’re really hard on me.” She said with eyebrows knitted together.

Alex’s face went almost white her eyes wide. “Am I? Oh my God I am so sorry.”

She couldn’t hold her face, Tobin started to laugh. Alex reached over and gave her a shove to the shoulder. 

“That’s not funny.” She cried.

“It was a little funny.” Tobin said taking a step towards her.

Alex nodded her head with a smirk, laughing at herself. “It was a little funny. If I am ever too rough on you let me know.” She looked down shyly. “My mom says I express my feelings through jokes.”

“My mom says I should go to church more.” 

Alex laughed, moving a little closer to the girl in front of her. She was close enough to touch her. “All seriousness please let me know if I get to crazy. I kind of don’t want to mess this up. I really like you Tobin Heath.”

“I really like you Alex Morgan, there’s no way you could mess this up.”

Tobin put her arm around her waist and pulled her in the few inches it took for their bodies to touch. In one quick motion she leaned in and kissed her, no hesitation, all confidence. Alex was amazing, she tasted like cinnamon gum, and Tobin could swear right there the clouds parted and let the sun beam down on them. As they pulled apart Alex leaned in one more time planting another small kiss on Tobin’s lips. This was defiantly something she could get use to.

Alex gave her a smile, her eyes still closed just like last time. As she opened them, she leaned further into Tobin setting her off balance a just a little where Tobin was holding her up just slightly. She opened her eyes, the blue almost knocking Tobin to the ground. How they hell did she get this lucky?

Now happy in her arms Alex gave her a sweet smile and said. “Let’s go get some tacos.”

Tobin let out a laugh throwing her head back a bit. “Yeah let’s go get some tacos.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this chapter as a Preath fan and didn't like it, that's okay, don't read any chapters marked as Alex only read the ones marker as Christen. If you read this as a Talex fan then yayaya. 
> 
> If this is confusing then please let me known and I'll try my hardest to clear it up. I do answer comments if they are direct questions. It might take a day but I will answer. But I warn I'm a writer which means I have a hard time explaining myself unless it's long paragraphs with weird innuendos.


	9. Wednesday Movies (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin comes back from her road trip with Christen, she is excited to share the news with her best friend. Now she has to ask Christen on a date, but how in the world is she supposed to do that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next chapter in the Preath part (the story line where Tobin picks Christen) if you are looking for Talex that is the next chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> My Mac broke down on me so everything is done on my iPad with a Spanish key board so if you see some weird stuff in there... blame Apple.
> 
> As always thank you for reading.

The day could not have gone better if she had planned it. Honestly if she had planned it, then it probably would have been all messed it, Tobin was not good at planning things. But this day had gone as good as it ever could. She had gone on a road trip with Christen and it was perfect. The whole time they talked, Tobin found herself telling her things she never thought she’d share with anyone besides Meghan. Christen was easy to talk to, she always asked questions and that made Tobin open up more, it made her actually say things. Normally she was a listener, but with Christen she could see herself turning into a talker.

The box of jerseys in her hand she pushed her way into the store. She saw Jozy fixing clothes on the rack and she gave him a head nod, she had never given a head nod in her life, but she was so happy things were just happening. Of course Jozy laughed at her weirdness, but that didn’t matter, nothing could take her off her high today.

In the back room Meghan was stacking up shin pads, Tobin came and gave the biggest smile she could get, almost so big it hurt her cheeks a little, but who cares, she was in the best mood.

“Jersey’s as requested, with time to spare.” Tobin put the box on the table behind the desk.

Ashlyn popped up and ripped open the box. She took out the top jersey and held it up, turning it to see the back then the front. “Tobin you are a life saver.”

“Just call me hero.” Tobin said proudly. She reached in her pocket and handed over the keys and the credit card. “Not a scratch on your baby. But I did ask Christen to go with me, I hope that's s okay.”

“Christen, like works up there Christen?” Ashlyn asked with an inquisitive look.

Tobin nodded her head, the smile creeping up on her face again, she couldn’t hide how happy she was even if she wanted to.

The older girl set the jersey down. “Something going on with you two?”

“No.” Tobin said not doing well with containing how she felt. “Well I don’t know maybe. I want there to be, I’m not sure if she does or not.”

“She did drive to New Haven with you.” Ashlyn laughed at the nervous girl. “I would take that as she want’s something to happen.”

Tobin looked up at the girl that she was now starting to consider a mentor. “How do I know for sure, you know, that she wants something to happen?”

It had been a few years since Ashlyn was in this type of situation, crushing on a girl and being in limbo, she remembered how she felt about Ali and how she just wanted someone to talk to about it. Tobin was nervous, and always looked like she had a question in the back of her head that she just couldn't formulate. Ashlyn was growing fond of the young girl, seeing so much of herself in her it scared her a little. Ashlyn didn't have someone guiding her back then, letting her know what to say and when, she could be that person for Tobin, maybe make her life a little easier. “Well you won’t know until you ask her. The best way to handle this type of stuff is to be straight forward with her.”

She nodded her head as if she knew what she was talking about, but she didn’t. “Okay how do I ask, you know without looking like an idiot?”

“Well that’s a hard one.” Ashlyn laughed a little and leaned back against the desk. “You have to take her on a date. Try something simple, somewhere with a lot of people see how she is in public with you, if she stands close to you, if she touches your arm, all those classic signs. Take her to the movies. If she sits close to you then you know she likes you, if she leans away from you then she just wants to be friends. If she leans in well then you know you're definitely in. Then ask her to get ice cream with you after the movie, that’s when you tell her.”

“Tell her what though?” Tobin asked trying to make mental notes of all the information she was being given.

“You look her in the eye and you say ‘Christen, I really like you, like more than a friend and I was wondering if you felt the same way about me?’ easy enough.” The more experienced woman could tell Tobin was trying to work it all out in her head. “Listen Tobin, she is either going to say yes or no, but at least you will know for sure.”

Nodding her head a few times, Tobin tried to focus on the fact that Christen was more likely to say yes than no. “So I should ask her out tomorrow.”

“Woo, no.” Ashlyn waved her hands in front of her face. “Dude, you just went on a six hour road trip, give it a day at minimum. Listen, ask her on Monday to go out with you on Wednesday.”

“Why Wednesday?”

“You don’t want too much time to pass between you two hanging out. And Wednesday is a good neutral day, Friday is usually date night, Saturday is back up and Sunday is weird. But Wednesday could be two friends hanging out, or it could be potential to have another date like Saturday morning.”

“This is a lot.” Tobin was feeling a little overwhelmed.

Ashlyn chuckled to herself, “Yeah dating sucks, but it’s worth it when you go out on _The Date_.”

She looked up at her, eyebrows knitted together. “What’s _The Date_?”

“The last date you’ll ever go on. The date that ends all dates. The date that you realize you found the one and there is no point to any other dates.”

“Did you already have _The Date_?” she was curious on how she knew what she was talking about.

Ashlyn nodded her head with a huge smile. “Yup. My first date with Ali, that was _The Date_ everything we did after that was just confirmation that I was right.” She looked up like she was picturing everything she was saying. When she finally got out of her head she said. “Don’t worry about all that right now Tobin, focus on making sure she likes you. All that will come in time.”

Tobin nodded her head, she understood, but it was still a little overwhelming. The thought that she could go on one date at that just be it, the last date she’ll ever have. The craziness of dating dawned on her as she walked out of the office. She was going to date someone and they were either going to be the one she marries or just a big waste of time. How was she supposed to figure out which one?

“You look like someone ate all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms.” Meghan noticed how Tobin’s face had changed from permanent smile to ghostly white.

“Well I went to New Haven, and Christen came with me.” Tobin told her.

Meghan punched her in the shoulder. “Dude, that’s so awesome. How’d that happen?”

“I asked her.” She was saying words but she was more focused on what she was thinking than what she was saying. “I asked and she said yes. We went together.”

Meghan grabbed her shoulders. “That’s great news Tobin. If she was willing to go with you that means that she really does like you. I’m not even willing to drive to New Haven with you unless I get to drive the Mustang.”

“She likes me.” Her voice was monotone. “Oh, man what if this is it?”

“Well I would hope this would be it. I mean if you drove with her that means you want to be with her and not Alex. And if she said yes that means she wants to be with you too.”

“I’m not ready to get married.” She cut her eyes to her friend, now her heart was beating hard.

Meghan lowered her eyebrows, what they heck was she talking about. “Uh-dude no one is asking you to.”

“What if this is it? What if Christen is the one? What if this date is the last date? My second date and that’s it?”

“Uh-what did Ashlyn say to you?” she watched her friend lean against the show rack. Tobin was starting to over think things and fall into the crazy hole where she tries to rationalize things that did not need to be rationalized, not by Tobin, not alone. Meghan gave her a quick slap across the face. “Dude, snap out of it.”

Holding a hand to her now hurting cheek. “Did you just slap me?”

“Yeah, because you are about to ruin a good thing.” She grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake. “You are not getting married to Christen. This is 2017, not 1717 dating someone doesn’t mean you have to marry them. And even if she is the one that’s a good thing, you are lucky, that means you found her, you get to be happy forever and you never have to get your heartbroken.”

“Unless she says no.” she let her hand fall even though her cheek still stung. “What if she says no Kling?”

Now this was something Meghan could handle. “She won’t. Trust me.”

Tobin stood up straight. Maybe she was over complicating things, turning them into something that wasn’t there. She wasn’t going to marry Christen, I mean maybe she would, but not now, not at eighteen, not after their first date. Right now all she knew was she needed to know how Christen felt about her, she needed to ask her on a proper date and get everything out in the open.

The work day was ending and they clocked out. Meghan had been going on non-stop about what Tobin should do. Going over plans, how she should ask Christen out. They had decided to take Ashlyn’s advice and ask her to a movie that way Tobin couldn’t mess anything up with words. She may have had really good luck in the car, but that was before she freaked herself out so now the forcible silence of a movie was exactly what she needed. She was going to talk to her on Sunday, casual and cool, well as casual and cool as Tobin could possibly be, then Monday she would ask her to the movies. Tuesday after the game she would confirm their plans, then play it cool all day at work on Wednesday. She could do it, well she hopped she could.

Meghan was trying to keep Tobin calm the whole time. They had gone to her house and were sitting on her bed trying not to panic. The only thing Meghan could think about was how excited she was to finally see them together. Over the past few weeks Christen had become more than a friend to her, she was like a second best friend, someone she could count on for everything. If their plan went the way they wanted than Christen would be their lives forever. Everything was finally working the way she knew it should.

Tobin headed home whenever she felt herself start to fall asleep. She walked through the woods and to her backyard. As she got inside she saw her mom and dad in the kitchen. They were looking at computer, they had a plan to remodel the kitchen and they spent most of their off time deciding what to do. Tobin watched as her father put his arm around her mother’s shoulder and pull her in close to him. He was saying something that Tobin couldn’t hear but whatever it was made her mom laugh and give him a little shove. He pulled her in closer and kissed her. Almost twenty five years of marriage and they still acted like teenagers. They were in love. Her parents got married their junior year of college, they were young and look at them now. Maybe the whole meeting the person you are supposed to be with at a young age was a good thing. If she ended up like those two dorks in the kitchen that would be a good life.

She made her way up to her room and laid down in her bed. The house was a little cold tonight so she hid her hands under the blanket. She turned on her phone and checked her facebook. She had a friend request, it was Alex. Tobin looked at the request, her finger hovering over the accept button. All those years, the whole time looking at Alex’s profile, she had never had the courage to be her friend. In the span of a week she had gone on a date with Alex, practically broke up with her, decided to be her friend, and now they were about to be facebook friends. Tobin couldn’t help but think that if she explained all this to freshman Tobin she would probably not believe her, or maybe slap her for turning Alex down. But freshman Tobin didn’t know Christen. She didn’t see the green in her eyes or the way the hair falls in her face. That Tobin had no idea what it felt like to put her arms around Christen. She didn’t know what it was like to watch her run, to score a goal, to celebrate. She had never heard her laugh, or seen her smile. Freshman Tobin may not approve of this Tobin’s choice, but she had no idea what she was talking about.

She clicked the accept button. Tobin had made a choice, she was no longer going to be afraid. She wasn’t freshman Tobin anymore. She may not be the coolest, or the smoothest, but she was different. With Christen she was different, and this Tobin could be friends with Alex, and she could go on a date with Christen.  
\--

It was Sunday and the two of them stood outside the store. Tobin had made a conscious choice to be a new person. She had made the choice to be better. Still she drank the last of the ice coffee and shook her cup to settle the ice, old habits die hard.

Meghan looked over at her. “So I saw you accepted Alex’s friend request on facebook.”

“How’d you see that?” Tobin asked tossing her cup into the recycling bin. “Are you stalking me?”

“One, it’s not stalking if you love the person and you need to know what they are doing at all times whether they know it or not. Two, facebook told me. Facebook tells all, she’s a gossiping bitch.” She started her way inside the store.

Tobin followed behind her. “That’s not weird right, to be friends, I mean Alex and I are friends now.”

“Why would it be weird? Do you still have feelings for her?” This was the final ask before she helped set everything in motion for her friend.

“No, Alex and I are just friends. I want to be with Christen. I know that now. There's no doubt.” She replied in a solid notion. She had made up her mind a while ago but it was good to say out loud.

It was a good thing Meghan was walking in front of her so she could hide the giant grin she had plastered across her face. “Then no, it’s all good. As long as you are sure.”

“I’m sure.” Tobin said solidifying the idea in her mind.

As they walked into the back room they heard Ashlyn on the phone. When she hung up she came out and spoke to them. “So Jozy is sick. I need one of you to cover the front today.”

“Tobin will do it.” Meghan said so quickly she didn’t even realize what she was saying. “What I mean to say is. I’m not a fan of the front. Tobin is willing to work, right Tobs?”

“Yeah sure.” Tobin shrugged her shoulders.

“Thanks Meghan, I’m so glad Tobin is willing to work the front.” Ashlyn joked, she knew what was going on. “Go ahead and start getting set up. Christen will be in an hour or so, she’s coming in early to help you out.”

“Oh right Chris is working today.” Suddenly Tobin was nervous. “Great.”

Now regretting how easy it was for Meghan to speak for her Tobin grabbed the equipment for the front and headed out to set up. She wasn’t afraid to work with Christen, the store had been busy lately so it wasn’t like they were going to be just sitting around talking. Not that that would be a bad thing. It would be kind of nice to be able to talk to her a little bit here and there, make a presence in her life, and let her know that she was still there and still cool, well not cool, but cooler than before.

After the nets were set up Tobin started to straighten the clothes on the racks. She had no idea what she was doing but it was better to look busy then just standing around like an idiot. She didn’t have to keep busy for long, Christen was standing at the door.

Tobin went over and let her in. “Hey, what’s up?”

Christen gave her a little smile. “I guess Jozy is sick. Are you filling in for him?”

“Yeah I’ll be up here today.” She said, her voice shaking a bit.

“Cool, let me go clock in and then I’ll give you a little bit of training before we open the doors.”

Tobin smiled, a big goofy grin that was defiantly not cool. “Okay, I’ll be up here… waiting.” _Why did you say that?_ she smiled again. Now she was back to being weird. What happened to cool?

Meghan was counting the jerseys on the rack in the back, life in the stock room was boring without Tobin to talk to. But it was all worth it for Tobin to have a chance with Christen. Right when she was getting frustrated with staring at tiny size tag the door opened, it was Christen clocking in.

“Dude.” Meghan jumped up and headed over to the girl a little startled by the loud scream. “So I heard you hung out with Tobin yesterday.”

“Yeah we drove to New Haven.” Christen said with a little smile.

“Aaannnddd?”

Christen looked around the room seeing if anyone was listening. “It was amazing, she is amazing. We talked the whole time about absolutely everything. It was just simple and easy, and just everything I thought it would be.”

Meghan did a little fist pump. “Our plan is working.”

“We don’t know that yet.” Her voice lowered a bit. “Tobin said she and Alex are just friends now, but I don’t know.”

“Their friends. Just friends. I confirmed it… twice.” Meghan needed her to have as much confidence in Tobin as she had. “That was just a thing, you know a glitch. Tobin doesn’t want to be with Alex, they are totally friends. You two are free to… you know… be you two.”

“I don’t know Kling. I just...” Christen was sounding more hesitant than she did before. “I don’t want her to be with me just because she can’t be with Alex.”

“No, that’s not why.” She was almost screaming. She took a deep breath. “That’s not why Chris, trust me. She wants this, you just have to let it all happen, and it _will_ happen.”

Christen put her hands in her back pocket. “Are you sure this time, there are no more 'glitches'?”

“Nope, glitch free.” Meghan gave her a huge over confident smile.

Christen was still nervous about the whole things. Her feelings for Tobin hadn’t changed, if anything they had grown over the road trip. Tobin was the only person in the world she could talk to the way she was talking in the car. The more she listened to her explain her life, talk about her dreams the more Christen realized she was beginning to feel a little more than just like for Tobin. There was something about the shy girl that made everything just seem better. Now she just had to wait to see if Tobin felt the same way about her.

“Ready to train?” Christen asked coming out the door.

Tobin looked over at her. “Ready.”

Christen spent the better part of the hour trying to talk Tobin through what she had to do up front. Tobin spent the better part of an hour trying to pay attention to something other than the fact that Christen’s eyes looked more grey in this light. She tried to listen to what she was saying even asking questions here and there, but her eyes were focused on the way her hair fell on her shoulders, which subsequently turned her ears off. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.

“So if it’s not on the floor and it’s not in the back you can come check on the computer and see if we can order it.” Christen was leading her towards the front counter. “Sometimes the item will only be offered online, we can order it for them off the website and they can pick it up here, but we can’t order it to their house. If they want it delivered to there house they have to order it themselves.”

Tobin watched as she typed something in the computer. _She has nice hands. I bet they are smooth. I wonder if I can hold her hand at the movies._

“So if you click here you can log in with a store log in. This is how you can see all the products, what’s available in store and what’s only online. Even past items that we don't carry anymore.” She clicked on a pair of cleats. “These are special order, so you have to order them online. Sometimes cleats are only available in certain sizes online.”

Refocusing her eyes on the screen Tobin tried to listen to what she was being told. She heard her talk about cleats and sizes but was quickly lost in thought again. _I wonder if we will kiss at the end of the date. I really want to kiss her. Her lips look super soft._

“People get really upset with you when it comes to online orders. They always want you to order it to their house but it’s against store policy. If they start getting testy with you just call Ashlyn.” She looked over at Tobin, her eyes were wide like she was trying to solve a problem in her head. “Did you get all that?”

Snapping out of her thoughts she laughed a little. “I got it. I think. If not I’ll ask.”

“It’s a pretty straight forward job.” Christen told her leaning against the front desk. “Most people are age know what they want. Its parents of little kids that are usually the issue. They want the best, but their kids want the coolest looking stuff. You’re always stuck trying not to be in the middle.”

“Yeah, soccer parents can be a little intense.” Tobin said remembering her own parents.

Christen chuckled. “You’re telling me. My parents were insane. They meant well, but it got to be pretty crazy, especially when I got into junior leagues and stuff.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” She paused, just for a second but it was enough to allow her nerves to work their way back up. “So I’m going to go check on the nets. The store will be open soon, nothings worse than messed up nets, am I right?” _Real smooth Tobin._

“Yeah.” Christen laughed. “I’ll be here getting the front ready.”

Tobin turned around and walked to the back of the store. Great now she was even worse than before. There was nothing to do in the back of the store. She had set up the nets perfectly, there was nothing to check. Maybe working at the front wasn’t a great idea, but she couldn’t trade now, it would be suspicious. If she asked Meghan to work the front it would look like she didn’t like her and that was the last thing she wanted. She was just going to have to suck it up and figure it out.

The day went by fast, Tobin mostly kept to herself. She had no idea how to talk to Christen. Suddenly all the confidence she had in the car was gone. It was the pressure. The damn pressure. Before, in the car there was no pressure, nothing making her talk so it all just kind of flowed out. Now there was expectations, she could feel the idea of a date practically sitting on her shoulders. The thought of being with Christen was heavy in the air, and she was pretty sure Christen felt the same way. Now they had eyes on them. Meghan would come out the room and talk to both of them always asking how things were going, she might as well have just screamed “Are you guys together yet?” because that’s how it felt. Tobin felt like she was on display, like she had to do something so the people around her could see. She missed the car, when it was just her and Christen, it was so easy to talk when there was no pressure.

At the end of the day she was walking out with Meghan. Normally they would wait around so they could talk to Ashlyn but Tobin didn’t want to be asked about how everything went, so she insisted on them going straight home. In the car she was quiet, she didn’t know what to say.

“Did you have a bad day?” Meghan asked tentatively.

Tobin took a huge breath. “I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“What are you talking about, just talk to her.” She said as if it was so simple.

“That’s the thing.” She sunk into the seat. “I don’t know what happened. I just couldn’t. I wanted to but every time I would go to say something I would just freak out and ask her a work question. I may have blown it.”

Meghan reached over and hit her in the chest. “You didn’t blow it. Stop being a weirdo and just talk to her about things, anything. Christen is so cool and laid back, she can talk about anything. Don’t worry so much.”

“Easier said than done.”

Tobin moped the rest of the car ride. New Tobin was defiantly not what she expected. New Tobin was a lot like old Tobin. She was dropped off at her house. She didn’t want to play soccer or run or anything like that. She just wanted to sit and mindlessly watch television. This way she could go over every agonizing minute of her day and think of more things she could do to be the weirdest person that had ever lived.

As she flipped through channels she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She expected it to be Meghan telling her to buck up and calling her something like champ, or buddy, but it wasn’t her best friend it was her new friend Alex.

-Well how’d work go?-

Tobin sighed. –pretty shitty. I…am….a….loser-

-what happened?—

-long story.-

Her phone was ringing. Alex was calling her. She sat up and looked around the house. She was alone in the living room, everyone had gone to their rooms a while ago. She slid over the little button and answered.

“Hey.”

“Tell me this long story.”

As much as Tobin had no desire to go over her tragic day something about telling Alex felt right. All the people in her life were are different points than she was. Meghan had no experience with dating. Ashlyn had too much. Perry only dated guys which was totally different. Her mom and dad were not people she could go to with this. And she refused to ask her little brother. Alex was a happy middle. She had dated before but not a crazy amount, and she dated girls, she was perfect.

Tobin explained what happened, how all day she had tried to say something to Christen that was both funny and smart but everything ended up be odd and probably made the poor girl uncomfortable. She had no game what’s so ever and probably would never have any. As she explained Alex would laugh and stop her in the middle to try and clarify. Yeah Alex was laughing at her, but somehow she laughed in a way that made Tobin laugh which meant they were laughing together. At the end of it she felt a little better about the whole thing.

“Okay I don’t know Christen, but if she is any sort of a good person she will think all your nervous ways are incredibly cute.” Alex told after she was done having another laugh.

Tobin sighed. “She’s an amazing person, that’s the thing. I just don’t want her to think I’m weird.”

“Why, you are weird. It works for you.”

Tobin was sitting up on the couch playing with the threads on the blanket over her. “I don’t want to be weird. I want to be cool.”

“Oh Tobin Heath.” Alex said sweetly. “You are not cool, at all, and that’s what makes you so cool. This girl likes you. Don’t get so caught up in the other stuff. Just be yourself.”

“Myself is lame.” Tobin huffed.

“That is true, and that’s why she likes you. That’s why I liked you. You are laid back, and sweet and an incredibly genuine person. Don’t try and change who you are. The moment you do that that’s the moment you stop being Tobin Heath, and this girl likes Tobin Heath.”

“Maybe you’re right.” She pulled a string from the blanket.

“I know I am right.” Alex said sternly. “Tomorrow is the planned ask out day right? So go in there and be you. Talk to her all day, little things here and there, don't try to be over the top or someone else, and right before you leave ask her to the movies.”

“Everyone says all this like it’s the easiest thing in the world to do.”

“It is, you just have to do it your way, no one else’s. Ask her in your words. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to feel a little anxious. Just ask her the Tobin Heath way. She won't say no.”

"How do you know that?" Tobin was curious how everyone around her seemed to be so confident in Christens answer.

"Trust me, no one can say no to you. Those his brown eyes, that smile; there is no way she can say no. Now take a breath, get it together and ask her."

Tobin took the breath as directed. “Okay I’ll try.”

“Good, well I’m going to go and actually get some sleep tonight. But hey before you go to sleep you need to do one thing.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Friend her on Facebook.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yup, friend her tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Tobin didn’t have time to protest, Alex had hung up, and now she felt like she had no choice. She opened her facebook and typed in Christen’s name. She had changed her profile picture. It was the one she took in the car with Ali’s sunglasses on. She had changed her profile picture to the day they spent together. Maybe she didn’t blow it after all. With her finger just over the button she stopped to think. Was it weird? Would facebook tell her how late she was up looking at her page? Apparently facebook is a gossipy bitch. There was no time stamp, not on friend request. Was there?

As she thought more about it she heard a noise in the hallway. She looked over to see Striker stretching out at the bottom of the steps. When she looked back at her phone, her finger had slipped and she had sent the friend request. “Shit.” She said under her breath. What now? She could rescind the request. That was an option. Would facebook tell Christen that she sent the request but took it back? What was worse, sending the request this late, or sending it then taking it back? Oh man, she had already been through the taking things back situation with her. But this was different. This was a mistake. Well not a mistake, more like a slip. Either way would she have to explain herself?

She was about to press the rescind button when her phone vibrated in her hand. It was a message. She opened it up.

**~Christen Press has accepted your friend request. Connect with her on messenger~**

Holy Shit. That meant Christen was awake and on facebook, and accepted her request, quickly. This was a good sign. I mean, she was defiantly not going to connect with her on messenger as the message suggested but that was neither here nor there. They were friends on facebook. Maybe she could do this.

 

\--

 

It was Monday, official ask out day and Tobin was on her second ice coffee with two shots. Why she decided to be hopped up on caffeine for this was beyond her, but whatever it was done and there was no going back. She drank the last of her drink and tossed the cup.

“So, you and Christen are facebook friends.” Meghan wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

“Jesus, facebook is a gossipy bitch.” Tobin sighed.

Meghan started to crack up. “I’m telling your mom you used the lord’s name and the word bitch in the same sentence. But hey, now when you guys go out you can become facebook official.”

“If we start going out.” Tobin reminded herself that she still needed to get through today.

The shorter girl gave her a quick punch to the shoulder. “You got this, just be cool.”

“That’s impossible.”

It turned out Jozy was still sick so Tobin was volunteered to work the front again. The whole morning she tried to focus on what she was going to say. She had a lot of advice coming from everywhere. Ashlyn telling her when where and how to ask Christen out. Meghan was telling her to be cool. Alex was telling her to be herself. And she was of course screaming in her own head to not be a complete loser. There was no way to listen to all the voices in her head. And there was no time, Christen was at the door.

“Hey, what’s up?” Tobin asked as she opened the door.

“Not much. This getting here an hour early business is not cool.” Christen said with a smile. “How are you?”

“Oh you know.” Tobin tried to be casual, but that was not an appropriate answer for that particular question. “I’m good.” She continued.

As Christen went to clock in Tobin mentally kicked herself. She needed to calm down, and just talk. _Focus on something you can really talk about, soccer, focus on soccer._ She could talk all day about that and not sound like an idiot. She could trust soccer to make everything better.

Christen came out the back room. “You ready for another long day of customers?”

“Uh-yeah.” Tobin said simply. “I actually don’t mind helping people. I like giving advice. I met a little girl yesterday about to start playing for little leagues. She already knew she wanted to be a forward. I cursed her for picking the wrong position, but it was cute in the beginning.”

Christen was laughing, she was actually laughing. “Did you kick her out the store?”

“Yup, told her to go to Wal-Mart with that crap.” Yeah she could do this.

“Why are you always hating on forwards. You’re an attacking mid, you’re basically a forward.”

“You take that back.” She joked. “I hate on you guys because we do all the work and you guys get all the credit. I bring the ball all the way up field and bam, you score and everyone cheers. Not cool.”

“Oh yeah. How many goals did you have last year?” she crossed her arms and tried to look serious.

Tobin pretended to think even though she knew the answer. “Six.”

“Out of how many for the team?”

A little hesitant she answered. “Twenty-one.”

“So, what you had... 6 over 21 that’s… 28.57. Round that up to 28.6 or 29% of all the goals scored. That’s more than a quarter.”

“That was really fast math.” Tobin turned her head and looked at her sideways. “Are you a wizard?”

“We prefer to be called witches, but yes.”

They both started to laugh. This was easy. All she had to do was be herself, Alex was right. Christen was a dork, she did math in her head. Tobin didn’t need to be cool, she didn’t need to be smooth she just needed to be her.

The day was going well, Tobin found ways to make Christen laugh whenever they had a chance to talk. She told her stupid jokes and they talked about customers in the store. Because Jozy was out everyone had to take separate lunches. Tobin took the time to come up with other things to say, and to look up a movie, in all the commotion she had forgotten to check on what movie and when.

It was at the end of the day, Christen still had another hour to work, but Meghan and Tobin were ready to leave. Tobin went to the back to clock out.

“So did you ask?” Meghan asked as she watched Tobin punch in her employee number.

Tobin shook her head. “Not yet. I want to wait until we were leaving. This way if she says no I can go bury myself in my backyard until my transfer to the New Haven store and my scholarship to Siberia is accepted.”

“She won’t say no.” Her friend laughed and gave her a tap on the shoulder. “Just go ask.”

 

They had clocked out and were walking through the store. Christen was at the front counter doing something when they walked by. She gave them both a wave. Meghan opened the door and turned around to Tobin giving her a stern look.

“Dude you can do this.” She said in a hushed tone. “Movies and ice cream.”

"Movies and ice cream?" Tobin said out loud.

Meghan watched Tobin shake her hands out the way she did when she was about to take a corner kick. She took a few breaths and mouthed the words 'movies and ice cream' with another deep breath she took huge steps towards the counter. Nothing was going to stop her now.

Christen was going through her turn-over check list at the front counter. Her hair had been down all day, she pushed it behind her ear and Tobin almost stopped walking. She was beautiful, maybe she was kidding herself. Why would Christen want to go out with her? Look at her, look how amazing she looks standing there reading the checklist. She saw Christen mouth the word 'check' as she made a check mark on the paper. _She is so fucking adorable._ This was a mistake, she's going to say no.

"Hey Tobin." The girl at the counter called out when she saw Tobin standing near a rack of clothes.

Tobin froze, she couldn't move, it was impossible. What the hell happened? She had so much confidence all day. She was making jokes, talking about soccer, about school, even a little about her family. Where was that Tobin now, the one that could answer questions no sweat?

"You need something?" Christen asked sweetly.

 _Dammit Tobin get it together_ She took a few steps forward. "Uh-yeah I wanted to ask you something...” she noticed how far away from the counter she was. Awkwardly she moved closer, she didn’t want to scream this, there was one customer in the store and Tobin refused to let them over hear her possibly making a fool out of herself. “Um, there's a movie playing on Wednesday. I mean there's always a movie playing on Wednesday. Well maybe not always. Always is a strong word... But uh- there is definitely one playing this Wednesday.” _Stop saying Wednesday_ "Uh-anyway. Um- yeah so Kling and I were talking about the movie, that's playing... on Wednesday. Well I want to see the movie and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to see it too."

"What movie?" 

"What?" She drew a blank. How could she not remember the movie? She remembered to repeat Wednesday like fifty million times but she couldn't remember the movie she had just looked it up at lunch. _Oh come on you know this_ She smiled and laughed the herself. "Right the movie that's playing... on Wednesday." _Can you stop saying fucking Wednesday_ "Guardians of the Galaxy." She practically shouted, snapping her fingers and pointing. She quickly shoved her hands in her pocket. “Guardians of the Galaxy… is the movie… that’s playing… on Wednesday.”

Christen gave her a huge smile. "Sure that sounds awesome."

"Great." Tobin said with a sharp breath in and an awkward smile.

Christen chuckled. "What day was it again?"

"Wednes..." her eyebrows went together and her lips pressed together. Christen was laughing.

Tobin shook her head and smiled. “You want to just meet there?”

“Sounds good to me.” Christen grinned.

Tobin nodded her head. "I'll talk to you later."

“If not, then I will defiantly see you on Wednesday.” Christen said with a little wink.

She gave her a quick wave then walked out the door, making sure to tell herself not to run. When she got outside Meghan was waiting for her. Tobin looked over to her and smiled. She had done it.

 

\--

 

At the house, they kicked the ball around a few times talking about the date and what she should do. According to Meghan, she had to pay, but let her pick the seats. She also suggested to do the corny pretend to yawn and stretch so she could put her arms around her shoulders thing. That was not something she was prepared to do. She didn’t even know if it was an official date, that’s the point of the movie to test the waters and figure it out. It was the ice cream part, that’s when she could make her move. At the movies she would just try not to throw up from anxiety. Meghan made other suggestions but they were all weird, and Tobin knew not to take any advice she gave in the first place. Before long it was time for Meghan to get home and Tobin headed up to get some sleep.

As Tobin was trying to get some much needed sleep she heard her phone buzz. It was almost ten o’clock and the only person that could be texting her this late was Alex. She looked at her phone and she was right.

-How’d did it go?-

-It went.-

-She said yes?-

-Yup.-

-Told you she would say yes. I’m so excited for you.-

-I’m more nervous than I have ever been in my life.-

-Don’t be nervous Tobin Heath, you got this.-…-What are you going to wear.-

-Shit.- Tobin started to panic. What was she supposed to wear? All her clothes sucked.

-Are we going shopping tomorrow?- *fireworks*

-You’d do that?-

-Any excuse to go to Khols, that place is my heaven.-

-Lol, okay, yeah we are going shopping tomorrow.-

-I apologize in advance for the monster you will see me transform into.-

-Lmfao. I think I can handle it.-

-We shall see.-… -Oh bring Kling.-

-Why? Lol-

-Because I will bring Moe… Let the set up begin!-

-You sure about this?-

-Tobin Heath… trust me.-

-Okay, may the odds be ever in your favor.-

-Our favor… Peeta-

-I want to be Katniss.—

-Too late, you’re Peeta… Night.-

-Night-

 

\--

 

“So we are going shopping tonight.” Tobin said before slurping the last of her coffee from the cup.

“Who’s we?” Meghan asked as she took a bite of the sandwich she brought with her that morning.

Tobin through her cup away. “Me, you and Alex.”

“Wait… what.” She swallowed hard.

“I need something to wear for the movie tomorrow night and Alex offered to take me shopping. You’re coming with.”

Meghan protested. “Why I don’t know anything about clothes. I wore the same Fall Out Boy t-shirt for two weeks one time.”

“I remember that. It was not good for either of us.” Tobin laughed at her friend. “Just come with me. Don’t question me.”

“Fine.”

The day had gone by pretty quickly. Jozy was still sick so Tobin was up front again. She had gotten use to the pace of things and enjoyed talking to customers. Surprisingly everything with Christen was going smooth. She thought she would be uncomfortable, maybe freak out about the date but she didn’t. Christen was playing it really cool as well, didn’t even mention it until the end of the day.

As they were headed out the door Tobin remembered what day it was, and what they were going to miss because of the shopping outing. She turned around to talk to Christen. “Hey we aren’t going to make the game tonight.”

Christen sighed. “Oh no.” she was visibly sad.

She had to lie, just a little one, there was no way she could say, I need new clothes for out date tomorrow because all my clothes suck and I look like a complete loser in them. “We just have to take care of some stuff tonight. But we will be there on Thursday.”

“Okay, well I will miss you brining the ball all the way up the field so I can score.” She gave her a little smile.

Tobin chuckled to herself, did they have an inside joke? “Yeah me too. But I’ll see you tomorrow… at work… and the movie.”

“Right the Wednesday movie.”

Did they have a few inside jokes? “Right the Wednesday movie.”

As they walked out Meghan waved to Christen. “Later dude, see you tomorrow.”

“Later Kling.” Christen yelled back.

 

\--

 

They were waiting around Tobin’s house for Alex. Meghan was complained the entire time about being dragged out to shop instead of playing soccer in the park. Tobin wanted to tell her to shut up, that Morgan was coming and she was trying to help her, but she knew if she even mentioned Morgan her best friend would run as fast as she could. Morgan had to be a surprise, there was no other way.

Alex had texted she was outside and Tobin dragged Meghan off the couch and out to the car. Ales was parked just at the curb. They got all the way to the car before Meghan questioned who was in the back seat. The windows on Alex’s car were tinted a little so they could only make out a shadow of a person. Tobin forced Meghan into the car, shoving her over to sit behind the drivers seat.

The first person to talk was Alex. “Hey, hey, hey. You guys ready to shop?”

“Oh God, I apologize in advance for her.” It was Morgan talking, she looked back at the two girls sitting behind her. “Alex goes a little crazy in Kohls. She needs professional help. She looked over to Meghan and smiled. “Hey Kling.”

Meghan had a panicked look on her face. She looked over to Tobin then quickly back to Morgan. “Hey Moe, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah I didn’t know I was coming until like an hour ago.” The happy girl laughed. “Lex has a thing about last minute plans.”

“Apparently Tobin does too.” She punctuated Tobin’s name hard.

Tobin looked over to her best friend and shrugged. She turned her eyes to the rearview mirror to look at Alex who had a sinister smile on her face. It was in the moment the Tobin thought Alex might be some kind of evil genius and she knew their friendship was going to be one of the crazier things she’s decided to do in her life.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” Alex shouted while putting the car in gear. “I can hear the store calling to me.”

The car ride was more chill than Tobin thought it would be. Alex was going back and forth with Morgan most of the time. The two were so in sync their barely needed to finish a sentence before the other would answer. Alex and Morgan had been friends for almost ten years. Morgan moved to New Jersey when she was eight. She came from some random town in Georgia and had a slight southern accent, it wasn’t thick her time in Jersey had mellowed it out a lot, she just said words like ‘ya’ll’ and ‘fixen’ and it made Tobin laugh to herself. Tobin had never really spoken to Morgan before, she had a few classes with her and did a class project with her and like three other people, but Tobin never really talked. Morgan was a nice person, always helped everyone, she was super smart and read a lot, in school she always had a book on her which made Tobin want to talk to her but she never did.

As they got out of the car Alex was practically bouncing. Tobin was ready to get it all over with, she headed towards the entrance when she felt a hard tug on her shirt. She turned to see Meghan had a fist full of her t-shirt and was yanking her backwards.

Meghan looked over to the two girls. “Can you guys give us a second?”

Alex nodded her head. “Yeah, we are going inside.”

Tobin almost called out for them to wait up, she knew what was about to happen, and it was not going to be fun, but she had to deal with it. She watched as the two girls walked into the store, then she turned to face the music.

“What the hell?” Meghan shouted.

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. “What?”

“Why is Morgan Brian here? I thought you said it was just going to be me, you and Alex. What happened to that plan?” Her voice was high and the words were coming out quickly.

Again Tobin shrugged, she was a terrible liar and it was better to say as little as possible. “I don’t know dude. I don’t control Alex. What’s the big deal?”

The shorter girl crossed her arms. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It kind of seems like it’s a big deal.” In the back of her mind she kind of wanted to tell Meghan now she could see how she felt when she was pushing her to Christen, but now was not the time.

“Well it’s not.” Meghan said, her voice now lower.

Tobin punched her in the shoulder. “Well then let’s go get this done.”

Before starting towards the entrance Meghan looked in the side mirror of the car and ran her fingers through her short hair. She smiled a few times checking her teeth, then smelled her shirt, brushing it down.

“What was that?” Tobin chuckled.

“Nothing.” She furrowed her eyebrows. “Let’s go dude.”

Morgan Brian. This was the one girl in the whole world Meghan had trouble talking to. Meghan was a social person, she had no issue talking to people, in fact she preferred to be having a conversation than to be doing almost anything. Even during soccer games she was always talking back and forth with the line and the keeper. Talking was just her natural state, but when Morgan showed up her mouth seemed to close and her brain almost shut off. There was something about her, the light brown in her eyes, the way she smiled, it just made all of Meghan’s ‘meghanness’ go away and she became this quite person. If she ever had the ability to say anything around the girl it always came out a little jumbled and sounding stupid. The whole confidence thing she tried to make Tobin have was lost around the girl. She had thought she was over it, way past being nervous, ready to be her cool self again, but seeing Morgan, hearing her voice made her feel like she was in the ninth grade again.

The store was huge, and a little chilly. Tobin had been there a few times with her sisters but she never really liked it so she never took notice of anything. The whole time she was forced to go shopping she would be looking up soccer highlights on her phone and just agreed with whatever her sisters said. Her mom had learned a long time ago to just buy her things without taking her. Tobin would walk into her room a two new pairs of jeans would be sitting on her bed and two pairs of her old jeans that had ‘too many holes to be acceptable’ would be gone from her closet. She would always find new shirts folded in her drawer and she would be missing old ones. The last ten years of her life consisted of her mother systematically getting rid of all her old worn out stuff and replacing it with new stuff without even asking, which didn’t bother her. But today was different, it was about buying something Christen would like, not just something that didn’t have a rip from knee to crotch.

They spotted the two girls standing next to a clothes rack with shorts hanging on them. Alex took a pair off and held them up to herself.

Morgan grabbed them out of her hand. “We are here for Tobin, get it together Lex.”

“They’re not even in here yet.” Alex whined.

Morgan looked over to see the two girls heading towards them. “Yes they are, now show some control.”

Tobin shouted up to them. “I hope those are for you, because I would not be caught dead in them.”

Alex smiled. “Maybe you should, show off them legs gurl.”

That made Tobin blush, looking down to hide her face.

Alex noticed the shy girl and started to laugh, it was easy and a little fun to embarrass Tobin. She reached out and grabbed her hand. “Come on cutey lets find you some date clothes.” She pulled her through the aisle almost running.

Morgan watched them rush towards the men’s section. “Lex is pretty intense.”

Meghan looked around, yeah Morgan was talking to her. “Uh, yeah I noticed. Tobs is not intense.”

“Yeah she is like the opposite of intense.” She answered starting to walk in their direction. “Are we getting you date clothes too?”

“Yeah right.” Meghan laughed. “I don’t have a date… like ever.” _Why did you say it like that?_ “I just mean, I don’t have anyone to date, so I don’t need clothes. I mean I need clothes, just not date clothes, not right now, not that I’m getting a date in the near future. I mean I might, I don’t know. Uh-yeah I’m going to go save Tobin.”

She walked as quickly as she could to her friend who was already being loaded up with clothes. _Great now you sound like an idiot._ Meghan made the decision to try and say as little words to Morgan as possible. She was not ready to have a conversation with her, not here, not now.

“So, blues and greys are your colors.” Alex said as she rifled through some button up shirts hanging up. “Stay away from yellows and oranges.”

“Why?” Tobin asked trying to hold onto all the shirts she had piled on her arms.

Alex didn’t look at her when she spoke she was too busy looking at shirts. “Because you have super tan skin and orange makes you look like a pumpkin and yellow is too bright for your skin.”

She said all of this in such a nonchalant tone, like Tobin was just supposed to know it. “What about red? I like red.”

“Red’s good.” Alex said with a smile. “Especially dark reds, like maroon.” She took a shirt from the rack. It was maroon and black checkers with short sleeves. “Here go try this on.”

Tobin took all the clothes from her arms and handed them over to Meghan who groaned as they weighed her down. She went to the dressing room Alex following behind her touching almost every shirt as she walked by. In the dressing room she took off her t-shirt and put on the new one. She looked at herself in the mirror, she actually looked good, like really good. Morgan was right maroon looked great on her. She stepped out the dressing room with a smile.

“Damn Tobin Heath, you look hot.” Alex called out.

Tobin lowered her head. “You really think so?”

“Oh yeah.” She smiled leaning back a little and placing her hand on her chin. “You look really good.”

“Thanks.” She said a little shy now. “And thanks for helping me.”

Alex gave her a light slap on the shoulder, “That’s what friends are for.”

Tobin went back in the dressing room and changed back into her shirt. As she walked out she saw Alex and Morgan going through the clothes on the rack, they would hold up something and the other would either nod or shake their head. A head nod meant they draped the shirt over Meghan’s arm, who then preceded to groan and pretend she was going to drop everything on the floor. She watched them repeat this a few times, as she did she couldn’t help but think how cool it was to actually have friends.

The rest of the time in the store was as crazy as the beginning. Alex started picking things that Tobin questioned, like skinny jeans and shorts that were shorter than she was ready for, but Alex never gave up. The more Tobin protested the more encouraging Alex got, calling her hot and telling her she had nice legs. It was weird hearing someone call he attractive. She had been through it all with herself, freely admitting that she was good looking, but now Alex, the hottest girl in school, was confirming it. Her confidence was being boosted, and the more comments that came from Alex the more Tobin felt she could go on this date and not look like a fool.

“So who’s paying for all this?” Alex asked as the stood in line for check out.

Tobin pulled out a card from her wallet. “My mom gave me her card, she heard I was going shopping and practically threw it at me.”

“Do you not shop often or something?” Morgan asked with a chuckle.

“Try never.” Meghan answered quickly.

Tobin shook her head. “I’m not a huge clothes person, if it fits and it’s clean than I’ll wear it.” She shrugged her shoulders, it was weird to admit these things to the two girls she was just getting to know. “My mom buys all my stuff and just gives it to me, I don’t really care. I’ve never agonized over what top goes with what pants.”

“But now you are.” Alex teased poking Tobin in the side. “Now you want to look good for Christen.” She said drawing out Christen’s name.

“Okay, I need to see a picture of this girl.” Morgan said throwing her hands in the air.

Alex went over to her best friend and took out her phone. In a few seconds she was on facebook, clicked on Christen’s page then clicked on her Instagram. She pulled up a photo of Christen, everyone gathered around to see.

“Damn Tobin she is hot.” Morgan said a little too loud for Tobin’s comfort. “Ya’ll were not kidding about those eyes, gees those will not you to the ground. No wonder you like her.”

Tobin could feel her face getting a little hot. She knew Christen was attractive, there was no getting around that, she just never thought of everyone else thinking so too. I mean, how could they not, look at her, but still it was kind of odd hearing others confirm her thoughts.

“It’s not just that she is pretty.” Tobin said as the scrolled through the rest of her photos. “She’s is really amazing, sweet and funny and super dorky but also super cool. And she can play, like she is fast and quick on the ball, and it’s just amazing to watch her play.”

Meghan looked up from the phone, Tobin wasn’t even looking at the photo’s anymore she was just talking about the girl she liked, bright eyes and a huge smile. It may have taken the shy girl sometime, but she was finally on the right path, going after the girl she was supposed to be with. She looked over to Alex and Morgan who were still scrolling through the photos. She watched Morgan light up when she saw a picture of Christen’s dogs. Maybe Meghan needed to get it together and go after the girl she wanted to be with.

The grouped checked out, they had racked up a huge bill but it was nowhere near what her mom told her the limit was. Honestly if Tobin had gone over the limit her mom wouldn’t have cared, she was more concerned with Tobin heading to college with clothes that didn’t have holes in them. Her mom would have been excited if she replaced her entire wardrobe, including the beat up black converse that she always wore, which Alex made her get a new pair.

Finally they were back in the car and the two girls up front were singing along to a song on the radio. Meghan watched and laughed as they used their phones as microphones. Tobin couldn’t help but think that this must be what it’s like to have friends. This is what she was missing out on all through high school. She didn’t regret the way she spent her life after all she had a best friend that would do anything for her, and she would do anything for Meghan, but it was nice to include others in their group. It was nice to have silly antics that she could watch. Listening to their conversations and their weird arguments was fun. She wished she had taken the time to become friends with these two earlier in her life. Now she only had a little over a month to ride in the back seat of a car while her friends whether or not a live action Little Mermaid was going to be possible. Now she was determined to make up as much lost time as possible.

Meghan and Tobin got out of the car with bags hooked on their arms. They said their good nights to their two new friends and headed up to Tobin’s house. As they got in the house her mom almost attacked her.

“Let me see what you got.” She pushed the two girls into the living room and took a pair of jeans from the bag. They were a pair of skinny jeans, light blue with white blotches on the leg and a little rip towards the top. “Tobin you bought ripped jeans. Don’t you have enough of those already?”

“These are different.” Tobin said quickly.

Her mom pulled one of the long sleeved button ups from the bag. “Is this a man’s shirt?”

Tobin took the shirt from her hand with a smile. “Mom, button ups are cool. Just be happy I didn’t buy another soccer jersey.”

She rifled through the rest of the bags and took out a hat Tobin insisted they buy. “Another hat, I wish you’d stop hiding your head under these hats.”

Her dad walked by and saw the hat. “The Jets. Nice hat.” He gave Tobin a high five. “Leave her alone Cindy, let the girl wear hats. As long as they are Jets hats.”

Tobin grabbed the hat and shoved it back in the bag. “Yeah mom, the minute I bring a Giants hat in the house is the minute you can start complaining.”

“At that point you’ll be kicked out of this house.” Her father laughed as he sat down in his chair.

Tobin gave her mom a cheeky smile then rushed up stairs to her room. She threw the bags on the bed and laid next to them. Today had been exhausting.

Meghan sat in the desk chair, the bags she was carrying thrown on top of Tobin. “Maybe you should tell your mom that you’re gay.”

Tobin popped up. “What why?”

She reached over to the bed and pulled out a shirt from the bag, a blue and white short sleeved flannel. “I mean it’s a little obvious, don’t you think.”

“No.” Tobin sat up and grabbed the shirt from her. “Not to my mom at least.”

“Is Chris ever going to meet your parents?” Meghan asked.

Tobin laid back down on the bed looking up at the same ceiling she had looked up at for eighteen years. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead. I figured I’ll tell them when I am in college, like text them or something.”

Meghan scoffed. “Don’t text them. My parents took it well.”

“Yeah but the Klingenbergs don’t go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, nor do they make their children go to bible study every Thursday and mission trips for spring break instead of hanging out, the Heaths did all of that and then some. There is no way my dad is going to say ‘Thank God, no boy drama, wait unless your brother has something to say’ and my mom is defiantly not just going hug me and ask me not to shave me head.”

“This is true.” Meghan said with a smile on her face. She had a great coming out with her family. “But maybe they will be okay.”

“I doubt it.” Tobin sighed. “That’s why I am waiting until college. Then if they freak out I’ll be hundreds of miles away.” The subject of her coming out to her parents always made her feel uneasy, she needed to talk about something else, anything else. “So you and Morgan talked.”

Now it was Meghan’s turn to feel uncomfortable. “Yeah a little. I can’t believe Alex brought her.”

“They are best friends.” Tobin propped herself up on her elbows. “Besides, you did good today.”

“Whatever, let’s focus on you and tomorrow.”

They spent the rest of the night talking about what she should do on the date. Meghan was full of suggestions that she saw from movies, but no real advice. Eventually the increasingly tired girl went home and Tobin was left in her room. She laid on her bed and opened her phone to facebook. She looked at Christen’s profile, she could see the whole thing now that they were friends. Christen had posted a video from the game that night, it was her being picked up by Bobby and Clint, the two boys curling her like a weight and Christen laughing as she tried to stay as straight as possible. Whatever led them to do this was beyond Tobin, but everyone was in the back ground laughing. The video ended in them tossing Christen in the air and catching her a few times as she screamed and laughed, then they eventually put her down and she slapped them both on the arm.

Tobin was chuckling to herself as she watched the video a few times. She held her finger over the like button, but hesitated for a second, she had never liked anyone’s stuff before, but she was friends with her now, it was okay. She pushed the like button holding it down and scrolling to the laughing smiley face. As she fell asleep she finally felt good about the date. Still a little nervous, but more confident.

 

\--

 

The next day went by quickly. Jozy was still sick so Tobin was up front. The store had been busy so she didn’t get much time with Christen, just the morning when Christen was explaining the video and why the guys felt the need to curl her like a barbell. The rest of the time Tobin tried to just be cool, she would say things here and there, but she didn’t mention the date, that was the last thing she wanted to do. Christen didn’t mention it either, maybe she was just as nervous.

As the day came to an end Tobin could feel the nerves starting to build up inside her. All of this was becoming real. She went to clock out and Ashlyn called her into her office.

“Hey boss, what’s up?” Tobin asked leaning against the door frame.

Ashlyn gave her a big smile. “So your date is tonight.”

Tobin went all the way into the office and shut the door. “Yeah, I’m kind of nervous.”

“That’s normal, don’t worry about the nerves.” Ashlyn told her sitting up in the chair. “Just keep calm. Are you picking her up or meeting there.”

“Meeting there.” Tobin said with confidence.

“Okay show up early, but not too early. Before you get out of the car hold your breath for like thirty seconds, it’ll slow your heart rate down. Ask her questions, but nothing to crazy serious. And remember if she leans into you then you have to lean into her too, but don’t do that silly yawn and put your arm around her thing, its cliché, if you want to put your arm around her just do it, confidence.”

Tobin chuckled thinking about Meghan telling her to do the yawn move. “Okay, I think I got it.”

Ashlyn gave her a little slap on the shoulder. “Of course you do. Just remember, calm cool and collected.”

“Calm cool and collected.” Tobin repeated. “Thanks Ashlyn.”

“You got it kid.” She stood up and Tobin stood up with her only a few inches shorter. “Now go run like six miles to get all your energy out.”

“How did you know I did that?”

“Because I ran ten before my first date with Ali.”

 

Meghan was up front, she had already clocked out and saw Tobin close the door to the back office with Ashlyn. She figured Tobin was getting last minuet advice from the older woman and didn’t want anyone to hear, so she went to go talk to Christen. This was the first time in the week they actually had time to talk.

“Hey.” Meghan said going up to the counter. “You excited about tonight.”

Christen looked up from her checklist. “Yeah, it should be fun.”

“Uh-yeah it should be.” Meghan lowered her eyebrows. “Well what are you going to wear?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders. “The movies are always cold, so maybe long sleeves. Or maybe I’ll just bring a jacket. I haven’t thought about it.”

Meghan gave her a sideways glance. “Sounds good. Uh… you sure you’re excited?”

“Yeah.” Christen said sharing Meghan’s strange look. “Are you?”

“Yeah I am.” She shorter girl told her. “Like appropriately excited.”

Before Christen could respond Tobin was walking out of the back room and headed towards them. Meghan stopped the conversation she didn’t want Tobin to know they were talking about their date it would just freak her out.

Tobin got to the front counter. “Hey, you ready to go?” she asked her best friend.

Meghan nodded her head. “Yeah let’s go.”

“Okay.” Tobin said happily. “I’ll see you tonight Chris.”

Christen smiled. “Okay sounds good. Later guys.”

Together they walked out the store and headed towards the car. Meghan looked back at the store with an inquisitive look on her face.

“You okay?” Tobin asked her noticing her face.

Meghan nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Well, I’m not, I need to run.”

 

\--

 

Tobin had run her six miles and then some. By the time she was done she felt a little better about the whole thing, but what made her feel even better was Meghan and Alex sitting on her front porch when she got home.

“What are you guys doing here?” She took out her headphones.

Alex stood. “We are helping you get ready. We can’t leave you to dress yourself.”

Tobin laughed, “Thanks guys.”

They all went inside and headed up to Tobin’s room. Tobin headed off to the shower while Alex and Meghan went through the clothes in the bags, well Alex went through them and Meghan spun around in Tobin’s desk chair.

“So Moe asked about you last night.” Alex said as she laid a shirt on the bed next to a pair of jeans.

Meghan stopped spinning in the chair. “She did?”

Alex looked over at her. “Yeah she did.”

Sitting a little straighter in the chair Meghan swallowed hard. “What did she ask?”

“If you were single.” Alex placed another shirt next to the jeans.

“What did you tell her?” Meghan could feel herself getting nervous.

The calm girl shrugged her shoulders. “That you were single.”

“Oh.” She kicked off from the carpet and started spinning again. “Cool.”

Thoughts raced through Meghan’s head. Why did Morgan ask if she was single? She had always thought Morgan maybe had some kind of feelings towards her, like maybe pity or something along those lines because she was kind of a loser, but she never thought she would inquire about her relationship status. Meghan of course knew Morgan’s relationship status. She had watched it turn from single to in a relationship with some girl who played the guitar during lunch, back to single. Whenever Morgan started dating that pretentious douche who thought it was okay to play acoustic guitar in the far right corner of the lunch room, Meghan had two thoughts: one she should learn to play the guitar and two she should find a way to break that stupid black guitar. Morgan always went over to that hipster girl with the tweed jacket, ironic bowler hat and old school dress shoes on; she would watch her play, and that girl would play songs replacing words with Morgan’s name or something about her. Meghan wanted to puke, that was so stupid. But at the end of school her relationship status had changed and all the photos of that girl were deleted.

“Moe is single.” Meghan said softly.

Alex looked over to her and smiled. “Yeah she is.”

Meghan did another hard spin laying her head on the back of the chair and closing her eyes. “Cool.”

Tobin came in the room in a pair of gym shorts, a tank top and towel wrapped around her head. She looked at all the clothes on the bed. “Should I wear all of that?” she joked.

Alex gave her a look. “Or none of it… your choice.”

“I like the black and white checkers with the dark pants.” She pointed to the middle outfit that was laying out.

Alex picked it up off the bed. “Me too, I think it’s perfect for this.” She held it out to Tobin. “Go change.”

Tobin headed back to the bath room. She turned on the hair and dried her hair for a few minutes. After she stuck her leg through the pants, they were tight but not restrictively so, just enough to show the shape of her leg. She looked at herself in the mirror for a second turning around to check out her backside, then she felt silly checking herself out so she quickly put on the shirt. It was a good length going down a few inches below her waist, it was a fitted shirt tapered at the waist. She looked at herself in the mirror and shrugged her shoulders. _This will do._

Walking into the room Alex looked over at her and started to laugh. “Tobin Heath, come here.” She said motioning the girl towards her. She unbutton the top button of the shirt and opened it a little. She unbutton the cuffs of the shirt and rolled them up to just below her elbow. “You are such a dork. Now look at yourself.”

Those little things turned the whole outfit around. Tobin looked in the mirror, she actually looked kind of cool. “Thanks Lex.” She gave her a goofy smile.

Meghan was tasked with lacing up her shoes. “Here loser put these on.” She said tossing them over to her.

Tobin went to her dresser and took out a pair of socks.

“Uh, do you have ankle socks, black ones?” Alex asked

“Yeah.” Tobin replied and dug into her drawer for a pair that fit the description, she held them up for Alex to see, then put them on followed by her new shoes.

Alex had gone over and grabbed the bottle of cologne on her desk and smelled it really quick. “I love this scent.” She went over to Tobin and sprayed her once in the chest, then leaned in and smelled her shirt. “There, now you are irresistible.”

Tobin stood with her arms out a little. “Well?”

The two girls stood back and looked at her. Meghan’s eyes went wide and then she went through the bags grabbing the black hat the throwing it to Tobin. Quickly Tobin adjusted the snaps to fit her head and then put it on backwards.

“Now you look good.” Meghan said with a smile.

“Oh yeah.” Alex said giving Meghan a little punch in the shoulder. “We did good kid.”

Tobin gave a nervous smile then looked up at the clock. “Okay I have like twenty minutes. Ashlyn said early but not too early.”

“Go get ‘em champ.” Meghan said with a thumbs up.

“You got this.” Alex followed up.

With that Tobin grabbed her wallet and keys and headed out the door. The two girls watched her leave with smiles on their faces.

“This Christen girl better not hurt our Tobin.” Alex said quickly. “I know I’ve only been hanging out with her for a week but I feel this like fierce protectiveness towards her.”

Meghan nodded her head. “How do you think I’ve felt practically our whole lives?”

“I see now why you kept her so close in school.” Alex told her simply. She took a huge breath. “I swear I am going to go full mama bear if she gets hurt.”

The shorter girl gave her a quick slap on the back. “Welcome to my world.”

 

\--

 

The whole drive Tobin griped the steering wheel and took deep breaths. She was nervous. Even though she felt confident in the new clothes, knowing she looked good she still felt nervous. It wasn’t just because she was going on her second date, it was because it was a date with Christen and this could be the beginning of something. This was the start of her and Christen. Yeah this was the beginning of everything.

The parking lot was crowded, she had to park towards the back. She looked in the rear view mirror and held her breath for thirty seconds like Ashlyn had told her. When her heart was still beating like it was ready to come out of her chest she held her breath again. When she was ready to do it a third time she looked at the clock, she needed to get going.

She walked with her hands in her pocket that was the only way she could keep from rubbing them together over and over making them all sweaty. What if Christen tried to hold her hand? She didn't want sweaty hands that would gross her out. So she secured them in her pocket for safety and sanity.

As she got closer to the theatre she saw her. Christen was standing in the line, sticking out just enough for Tobin to see her. She had on a dark grey shirt long sleeved shirt with a jean vest, her hair was down around her face, her bangs swooped to the side. She looked amazing. Tobin silently told herself to let her know she looked really good.

As she got closer she realized the Christen was talking to someone. Maybe she had met someone in line and was talking to them while she waited on Tobin to get there. Tobin quickly cursed herself for taking so long with her breathing in the car. She walked a little closer and saw who Christen was talking to. Lindsey was standing next to her, and not in the ‘we just met her randomly’ type of manner. Tobin was instantly crushed. She wanted to turn back, text that she was sick, anything but this, but when she was ready to flee Christen saw her and waved.

Tobin gave a quick wave and walked the rest of way towards the two standing in line. "Hey." Was all she could get out.

"Hey." Christen said with a smile. "I hope you don't mind I invited Lindsey, we were talking about seeing this together for a while."

"Uh-no. The more the merrier." Tobin said quickly. _The more the merrier, who says that, what is this 1943?_

"Where's Kling?" Lindsey asked looking around.

Tobin held her breath for a few seconds. "Late... as per usual.” She said thinking quickly. “I'm going to give her a call and make sure she's not bailing." Quickly she took out her phone and walked down the street a bit where no one could hear her.

The phone rang for a minute before Meghan picked up. "T, why are you calling me?"

"I need your help." Tobin said trying not to talk loudly. "I'm at the theatre and Christen is here with Lindsey."

"What?" Meghan said loudly.

“Yeah, we are apparently waiting on you." Her voice was panicked but she tried to keep the hurt from coming out in her words.

"On me?"

"Yup apparently you are supposed to be here too. I think she thought this was supposed to be a group hang." Tobin let out a stressed breath. "Dude be a hero. How fast can you get here?"

"To the theatre?"

"Yes dude, you need to watch this movie with us. I can't do this alone. Please."

Meghan let out a breath. "We are actually at Five Guys. Give us like five minutes."

"I owe you."

She hung up the phone and shoved it in her pocket. She took a deep breath taking her hat off and running her hand through her hair before putting it back on and mustering up the courage to smile and act like everything was okay. She turned around and walked to the two girls.

"She’s on her way." Tobin said like it was no big deal. "Like five minutes."

"Cool." Lindsey said.

They went back to talking and Tobin stood there trying not to look worried. Only she would ask a girl out and it turn into a group hang. She tried to figure out how this happened. She asked her out, clearly, she asked if she wanted to go to the movies with her, only her. Didn’t she?

She couldn’t get too lost in thought because the two girls were talking to her about the first movie and she had to respond. Tobin gave the best answer she could come up with then stood looking out to see if Meghan was on her way. She could only hope Meghan would show up quickly and it would be less weird. Five minutes in the long line and she got her wish, Meghan was walking towards them but she wasn't alone.

"Hey guys sorry we are late." Meghan said in a happy tone. "This is Alex."

“Hey.” Christen took a deep breath; so that was Alex.

"Hey I'm Lindsey." The other girl said with a head nod.

Alex gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you guys."

Tobin looked at Meghan her eyes wide. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Uh-yeah."

They walked off from the group looking back with smiles so everyone would keep talking and not wonder what they were saying. Tobin wanted to cry, she could feel the pressure behind her eyes threatening to let tears fall down her cheeks.

“I don’t understand.” Tobin cried out. “How did this happen? Does she not want to go out with me?”

Meghan put her hands on her friend shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. You two just got your signals crossed.”

“She doesn’t want to date me.” Tobin felt a single tear roll down her cheek.

Meghan pulled her further away, behind the building. “No that’s not it Tobs, trust me. It was a misunderstanding. I don’t know, but that’s not it at all. Chris likes you, if she didn’t like you she wouldn’t have said yes to hanging out.”

Suddenly Alex was standing with them. She saw Tobin trying to hold back the rest of the tears trying to escape. She immediately put her arms around Tobin. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Meghan quickly joined the hug. They stood there for a minute just gripping onto each other. Tobin let to two girls surround her, it was warm and comforting. Even though her date had turned out to be not a date at all at least she had one thing, the best friends in the world.

As the pulled apart Alex ran her thumb across Tobin’s cheek wiping away the few tears she let fall. “Hey, you got this okay. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, it just means she didn’t get that you were asking her out. Just go and be a good friend, be cool and you can try again another time.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Meghan told her with her arm around her shoulder. “Let’s go watch this movie and after we will take you for ice cream and strategize. Sound good?”

Tobin used the collar of her shirt to wipe her face again. “Yeah sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are curious about what happens in the Talex version of the story read the next chapter, if not then stop here and wait for the next update. as always thank you for reading.


	10. Random Kisses and The Movies (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin comes back from her road trip as happy as she could get, but Kling is not happy to hear who she took with her. Even though her best friend is angry Tobin does not want to give up a chance to be with Alex, so she takes her on another date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Talex part of the story (the story line where Tobin picks Alex) if you are looking for the Preath portion that was the last chapter. 
> 
> My Mac broke down so all of this was typed on my iPad with a Spanish keyboard so if you see weird stuff in there... blame Apple. Had to edit the formatting. One missing 'i' and it kicks your ass.
> 
> As always thanks for reading.

It’s safe to say Tobin was on top of the world. Her mind was racing, her body going absolutely insane. This was a better feeling then the time she scored the winning goal at the championship game her junior year. This was better than the roller coaster at the best theme park. This was better than getting the scholarship she had worked her whole life for. This was better than anything. She was fresh off a six hour car ride with the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. They had talked the whole time, never tiring of each other, never running out of things to say.

She and Alex had a connection, they had a thing, something that she couldn't explain in the moment. She couldn't really explain much of anything at the moment her mind was moving too fast. How could something like this happen to her? How was she this lucky? Maybe she shouldn't question it. Maybe she should just let it all ride out and be happy.

As she walked into the store her arms full with the box she passed by Jozy who was straightening some clothes on the racks. He looked up at her and smiled. "You look happy."

Tobin smiled at him, no, she beamed at him. "That’s because I am having a great day." She did a little spin closing her eyes then looked back at the boy who was now shaking his head and laughing. "You have a great day too."

Nothing could bring her down, nothing could take this away from her. She was happy, the happiest she had ever been, on a high. Making her way into the stock room she gave Meghan a huge smile making sure to show all her teeth then turned to the office. Ashlyn was inside rubbing her temples and starring at a spread sheet on the computer.

"Custom jerseys as requested, and with an hour to spare." She set the box on the table behind the desk.

Ashlyn turned in her chair had ripped open the box. She took out one jersey and looked it over. "They are perfect. Tobin you are a hero."

Tobin crossed her arms and leaned against the door. "Yeah I know." She took the keys from her pocket and reluctantly handed them over along with the credit card. "I hope you don't mind, but I invited my friend Alex with me. I didn't want to drive there by myself."

"Tobin, you got the jerseys early and didn't crash my car. You could have invited the entire National Team and it would have been okay."

She chuckled. "If I had the number of the national team I would have ran away by now."

Ashlyn nodded her head like she knew exactly what she was talking about. "Thank you Tobin, you are a life saver, seriously."

"No problem boss. You can always count on me."

Tobin walked out, her head maybe a little higher than before. Not only did she have one of the greatest days of her whole life, but she was officially a hero at work. How could this day get any better?

Meghan was organizing the new stock of shin pads on the shelf when her friend came practically floating towards her. "I take it the car was as badass as we thought."

Jumping towards her, Tobin leaned her shoulder against the shelf. "Yes the car was badass and I am getting one when I am a famous soccer player, but that is not the only reason I am so freaking happy."

She had never seem Tobin like this, she had seen her happy and excited but never in a way that made her almost bounce as she spoke. "What has you so happy?"

Tobin lowered her head a bit, she played with her fingers. "I invited Alex with me, on the trip."

The words were harsh to Meghan's ears, that was not what she was expecting her hear. She tried to hold herself together but she couldn't stop her face from twisting a bit. "And she went with you?"

"Well yeah." Tobin said excitedly. "We drove together and we talked and we had tacos, and it was awesome. Kling, dude it was the best day ever."

"So you picked Alex?" It was said in a low voice, no movement of her body, no smile, and no frown just solid. She had said it in a bad way and Tobin had noticed.

Feeling the hostility coming off her best friend Tobin took a step back. "Yeah, I chose Alex." She studied the face of the girl she had known practically her entire life. "Is that a problem?"

Knowing she couldn't tell her what she really thought Meghan instead went back to organizing the shin pads and chose not to make eye contact with the now worried girl next to her. "No, dude that's great. I am happy for you, for you both."

So there was something that could take her off her high, it was her best friend being a total ass to her. "Do you have a problem with Alex?"

"No, why would I have a problem with Alex, I don´t even know her." She stacked the pads up.

Tobin was not buying it, there was something wrong and she needed to know what. "Then why are you being like this?"

Meghan started on the other pile of pads. "Like what?"

"An asshole."

She shrugged her shoulders and continued to work without looking over to her. "I'm not."

"Dude, yeah you are. What's the problem?" Tobin tried to look at her but she kept moving her face. All she could think about was how happy she was a minute ago and now she was all messed up. "What's your problem?"

"My problem." Meghan said slamming one of the pads on the shelf. "What's your problem? What about Christen?"

"I've already talk to Christen, I spoke to her last night. We are going to be friends, we agreed it was the best thing for us."

"The best thing for you." Meghan was almost yelling. She took a breath and tried to get ahold of herself so she didn't want Ashlyn to come out the office. "It was the best thing for you. Dammit Tobin, you set out to ask Chris out, to find out how you felt about her and you ended up on a date with another girl. And now all of a sudden all those feelings you had for Chris are now just magically gone."

"That's not how it went and you know that." She was under attack, felling like she was backed into a corner and now needed to fight her way out. "I never said I officially had feelings for Chris. I said I thought I might and I wanted to see where it would go, but that’s not how things work out. Alex was there, she was the one I saw, the one I decided to go out with and now she is the one I am choosing to be with. What's the big deal?"

"Nothing." Meghan said sharply. "Nothing, it’s none of my business who you date."

Tobin took a step back. "Yeah you're right."

"So I am going to stop worrying about it."

"Yeah you should." 

"Then I will."

"Good."

"Good."

The words were almost thrown into the air, like they had been said but one of them was waiting for the other to catch them and take it all back. Tobin was looking at the ground she wanted to say something, she wanted to apologize, but she couldn't, or wouldn't, it didn't matter. Meghan was still messing with the shin pads, the organizing had been done, but she needed to look busy, she needed to do anything but turn around and look at Tobin. 

There was a voice that took them both out of their trance. "Hey it’s way past time for you two to get out of here. Unless you want to work the night shift too."

They didn't look at each other, they just acknowledged Ashlyn then made their way out of the store. Meghan drove, the music was up but it wasn’t anything they wanted to listen too, just the radio playing hits of the summer. Normally one of them would plug in their phones and play the stuff they could sing to, but not today, not with this wall between them. 

It was in the driveway at Tobin's house that Tobin opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She turned her head to look at her but she never actually opened her eyes. Instead she opened the door and got out slamming it behind her. She heard Meghan back out and take off before she even reached the front door of her house. How did everything go so wrong so fast?

Meghan wanted to drive home, she wanted to scream, she needed to get it all out. As she was heading down the street she realized who she always talk to about stuff like this, Tobin. That girl was the only person in the whole world she could talk to when she was like this, even when it was about her. She didn't have Tobin, she didn't have anyone. The feeling of being utterly alone hit her, the whole situation weighing heavy on her chest. If she didn't have Tobin then what was she going to do.

But she did have someone, a person that understood how she felt, how angry she was at her best friend. She picked up her phone and texted, her hands shaking so much she almost couldn't type a word. When she got a reply back she reversed her course and headed to Christen's house.

Much to her surprise the dark haired girl was sitting out on her porch staring at her phone. When Meghan got out of the car she realized how broken Christen looked. Her hair was up in a bun, she had on a pair of black glasses. When she saw Meghan coming up her driveway she gave her a little wave, but her face stayed in a solemn state. Now a little upset with herself for calling on Christen when she was clearly in pain, Meghan walked over and sat down next to her.

"What's going on?" Christen asked in her typical form.

Meghan buried her face in her knees and let out a scream. "Tobin Heath is an asshole."

Even though she didn’t want to, the laugh came anyways, light and burning the back of her throat a little. "What did she do?" Christen asked.

Looking over at the girl next to her Meghan tried to put it in a way that didn’t hurt her anymore. "She didn’t pick you."

Slowly Christen nodded her head. "No she didn’t."

"I know, this is stupid. I know you must be really..."

"Heart broken." She finished her sentence. 

Yeah this was a bad idea, but she had no one else. "I'm sorry Chris I don't know why I am here."

"Because you need a friend."

Christen was sweet, even when the situation called for her to be kind of a jerk she was still sweet. She needed someone there for her, but Meghan was being a little selfish. Understanding that the amazingly sweet girl might be on the edge of her niceness Meghan got up and walked down the steps. 

"I shouldn’t be here. You're upset. I should leave you alone." She tried to convey with her eyes how sorry she was for even trying to force Christen to take care of her in this moment.

Christen got up and put her hand on Meghan’s shoulder. "It was a little messed up, but honestly I could use a friend. Do you want to come in and eat ice cream and watch bad T.V. Movies?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." Meghan followed her up the stairs and into the house. Yeah it may have been on a selfish instinct to go to Christen but she was now happy she did it. Christen needed someone even if it was to just sit around and keep her company, and that's exactly who she could be right now.

 

\--

 

Tobin walked into her house. She wanted to slam her fist against the door, she wanted to kick it in. She felt like her entire body was on fire. How could she do that? How could she take the best news and turn it into the worst news? She was happy, flying high, floating on air, all those stupid metaphorical phrases that meant she was the happiest person on earth. Two seconds, that's all she got, two seconds of bliss and it was ripped from her.

Her house was alive with people, her mother and father were in the kitchen talking about remodeling. Her brother was in the living room watching a men's soccer game, something Tobin would normally join him on, but not tonight. As she made her way up the stairs she heard her sister on the phone with someone. Everyone in her house had something going on, and all Tobin had was anger. 

In her room sitting on her bed was the big fluffy dog that always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Tobin went over and sat next to him petting him behind the ears. She leaned back and laid down, Striker took it upon himself to lay across her, it was a little difficult to breath with over a hundred pounds laying on her stomach but she was happy for the comfort. Her body was still buzzing though, she needed to do something.

She popped up. "You wanna go for a run?" Striker jumped off the bed and ran in a circle a few time. "I'll take that as a yes."

She quickly changed into her running gear, and got her running partner ready and she was off down the street before anyone noticed she was in the house. The run was nice, a fast pace set by the dog on front of her. She needed to go fast, she needed to push her body as much as she could, she needed to get all this anger out, and the best way to do that was to leave it out on the road. 

When she finally arrived back at the house, six miles down and tired dog pulling her up the steps she felt the phone in her pocket buzz. She let the dog in the house, then took out the phone, in the back of her mind she hopped it was Meghan that she wanted to talk. She hated being in a fight with her best friend, she wanted to make things better, even though it was totally not her fault, but it wasn't Meghan, it was Alex.

-I had fun today.-

Tobin whipped her sweaty hands on her shorts, which didn’t really help because they were sweaty too. -I did too. Thanks for coming with me.-

She walked into the house and made her way into the kitchen. Her mom and dad were still in there looking at plans on a laptop. They both looked up at her and smiled.

"You and Striker just get back from a run?" Her dad asked in a happy tone.

"Yeah, he needed to run, he's getting kind of fat." She told him.

Her mom leaned down to the dog that was now laying on the floor next to her feet, she scratched behind his ears. "You're not fat buddy."

"Not yet at least." Tobin joked.

She grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and headed up the stairs. Her phone went off again.

-Well you did wake me up early... on my off day-

This made her smile, -So I owe you one, is that what you are saying?-

Back in her room she sat down on her bed and took a drink from the cold bottle. She looked around her room, hanging on the mirror above her desk was a picture. She got up and took it off. It was her and Meghan at Wildwood when they were twelve. They had gone there for Tobin's birthday. It had been a great day, not too hot and not too cold. The park wasn't crowded so they got to ride the rides more times than they could count. They ate so much junk food they almost threw up at the end of the day, but they didn't which in their minds meant they should eat more, so they both had caramel apples in the car, and then they threw up. Before all that, they took a picture. Their hair was messed up from a ride and their skin was a little sun burnt from being out in the sun all day. This was the time when Meghan thought it would be cool to dye the front of her hair blue, and it had faded and looked almost grey. Tobin had on a pair of thick rimmed glasses that she got contacts for as soon as her mom let her. It was them, typical fashion, nerdy and happy, together.

She put the picture back where it was on the mirror, and stared at it for a little while longer. Meghan was her best friend in the whole world, when they were apart it was like something was missing. When she did something that upset her it hurt, like her heart beat was irregular. She understood why she was upset, but she didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Yeah so Meghan wanted her to be with Christen, but she should be supportive no matter what. She should just want her to be happy. And she was happy with Alex, all day. She had a great day and all she wanted was for her best friend to share in it with her.

Her phone went off in her hand. She looked down to see another text from Alex. 

-How about you repay me by taking me to the movies on Wednesday-

A smile creeped on her face. -You got yourself a deal-

 

\--

 

Sunday was now here, and so they stood outside the shop staring at the door. Tobin leaned against the lamp post drinking the last bit of her ice coffee. Meghan was a few feet away, arms crossed at her chest. Tobin shook her cup and slurped the last bit of liquid from the bottom of the cup.

“Do you have to drink so loudly?” Meghan snapped.

Tobin stopped mid drink and lowered her eyebrows. She shook her cup again and slurped as loud as she could.

“You’re a child.” The shorter girl shook her head and made her way into the store.

Meghan was not going to stand out there and play games with Tobin, she didn’t have to. If Tobin was going to be a child and not talk about what was happening then she wasn’t going to sit and wait for her to explain. She was the one that made a bad choice. She was the one that hurt their friend. She was the one that decided she had to be with Alex instead of Christen. She was the one that made Meghan look like an idiot when she told Christen to go after her. This was Tobin’s fault and Meghan absolutely refused to be the first one to speak.

Watching her friend walk into the store without her Tobin threw her cup away and rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to go inside just yet, she didn’t want to go the whole day in a fight. Meghan was the one that needed to apologize. What did she have to be so upset about? Meghan was the one that wasn’t being supportive, the one that got an attitude for no reason. It wasn’t Tobin’s fault that she didn’t want to go out with Christen, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. And she had already talked to Christen, and yeah she was hurt, but they agreed to be friends. This whole thing was Meghan’s fault. She had pushed it, made it into an almost impossible situation. Why should Tobin have to be the one to say something? She did this to them and Tobin absolutely refused to be the first one to speak.

Ashlyn heard the door of the stock room open, she was about to say hey to the two girls but only one walked in. She lowered her eyebrows in confusion. “Where’s Tobin?”

“Out there.” Meghan said harshly.

“Why isn’t she in here?” There was something going on and she could sense it.

“I don’t know, because she’s standing out there.” Meghan snapped. “I’m not Tobin’s keeper.”

“Woo, okay.” The blonde held up her hands in a protest. “Sorry, you two are usually attached at the hip.”

“Yeah, well not anymore.” Meghan said as if it was final. “She’s on her own.”

Just as Ashlyn was about to ask what was going on Tobin walked into the stock room. The taller girl had the same angry look on her face. It was pretty clear something was going on, but it wasn’t really the time to talk about it. “So Jozy called in sick today. I need one of you to work the floor with Christen.”

“I’ll do it.” Meghan said quickly. She looked over at Tobin to see if she would try and protest, but all she got was squinted eyes and shrugged shoulders. “I can work the floor.” She told her boss solidly.

“Okay good. Tobin you’ll stay back here for inventory.”

“Fine by me.” She went over and grabbed the clipboard and immediately went into counting mode.

Meghan went out and set up the nets by herself. She didn’t need help, nor did she want it. It was kind of nice being alone at least that’s what she tried to tell herself, but deep down it sucked not having Tobin to talk to. Yeah the girl wasn’t the best conversationalist, but she was always there to listen.

She had talked to Christen all night about everything. Meghan was the listener for once, she heard Christen out, heard her go from sad to angry then back to sad. They finished a tub of ice cream, laid on the couch immediately regretting consuming so much dairy, then talked a little more. It was nice to talk to someone other than Tobin, for once she could talk about Tobin. But no matter how angry she was she couldn’t think of anything really horrible to say about the girl. The best she could come up with was she hated that she never talked about how she felt. No matter what Tobin was still her best friend, and she loved her more than she hated her in the moment. But still, it was nice to vent.

 

After an hour of mindlessly straightening everything on the floor a knock came at the door. It was Christen waiting to be let in. Meghan went over and opened the door.

“Hey.” She said in a low voice.

“Hey, Jozy is sick. I guess you’ll be on the floor with me?” Christen asked, looking a little happier than she did last night.

Meghan nodded her had. “It’ll be me and you all day.”

Christen smiled, “Awesome, now you can see what I go through every day.” She was excited to have her friend with her. Today was going to be difficult, she was going to have to go back there and see Tobin. She was going to have to call on her to bring things from the back. It was better to have Meghan up there with her, someone she could count on if she suddenly got sad and just needed to talk about anything other than Tobin.

As Christen walked to the back, she reached out the open the door, but she stopped herself. She needed to take a deep breath, she needed to prepare herself to see Tobin. She wouldn’t let her feelings stop her from doing what she needed to do, but she also wasn’t really ready to see her. After a few moments she pushed through the door. There she was, those big brown eyes staring at her, that little half smile she did when she was nervous. Tobin was still Tobin, tall and a little lanky, but gorgeous and sweet. She couldn’t let herself get sucked into that again. She didn’t smile, she didn’t frown or give her a mean look she just didn’t smile. She would smile later, much later. Christen clocked in and then left through the door without looking back at the girl in the corner.

 

Great, everyone was pissed at her, Tobin thought to herself. Not only was Meghan being a jerk, but Christen was clearly not ready to move onto the friends portion of the situation. So she was alone, in the back of the store counting shoes. Tobin lowered her head and tried to focus on her job that was the only way she was going to get through the day without screaming or crying or both.

A few hours into the work day Ashlyn approached the obviously distraught Tobin in the stock room. “So what’s the deal with you and Meghan? You two seem pretty pissed at each other.”

The entire day Meghan had only said a few words to Tobin and they were all work related. It seemed that Christen wasn’t ready to even speak to her even when it came to work so Meghan bit the bullet and relayed all the information to her, and she did it with the most attitude she could summon up. Of course Tobin could do that too, she would answer her with snide remarks making sure she knew that she wasn’t going to take it lying down. Work was done, everything got handed off and no one was a jerk in front of customers, but behind the door and over the intercom Meghan made sure to put as much ‘assholishness’ in her voice as humanly possible. 

“She’s pissed at me, I’m pissed at her… We are pissed at each other, but she has no right to be.” Tobin was talking without looking over at her boss. “She’s being a jerk for no reason.”

“What happen?” Ashlyn was concerned not just for the store dynamic, but she had come to like the two dorks always talking to her and bugging her about soccer; them not talking was a little troublesome.

Tobin was stacking shoe boxes, every box that went on top of another was done so with some force. “She is upset because I am dating Alex… well we are not dating, not yet, but I want to.”

“The girl you took with you to New Haven?” now she was a little invested in the story.

“Yeah.” Tobin answered stacking another box. “She was on our soccer team in high school. She and I went on a date last week. Kling is being an asshole.”

“Why, does she like this Alex girl?”

With another box forced on top of the pile Tobin scoffed. “No, she just doesn’t want me to date her.”

Ashlyn thought for a second a little confused. “Does Meghan like you?” she asked tentatively.

“What?” she looked at her as if the very idea was the craziest thing she had ever heard. “No, she wants me to date someone else.”

“Okay, just checking, you two _are_ really close.” She felt on odd sense of relief. “So who does she want you to date?”

Tobin gave her a shy look then answered almost too low for anyone to hear. “Chris.”

Her eyes went wide, that was not who she expected. “Like Christen?” She pointed behind her. “Out there Christen?”

Nervously she nodded her head, Tobin had no idea how Ashlyn was going to react to all of this. She never expected to talk to the older girl about it. Sure Ashlyn was super nice but she didn’t think she cared about things like this. It was nice to talk through it.

“I can see that.” The tall blonde said with a smile. “You two are both nerdy, a little weird and you love soccer. I feel like her neurosis would probably cancel out your neurosis and you’d end up being just kind of awkward, but cute.” She saw the weird look on Tobin’s face. “Okay, but what’s the deal, why does it matter who you date?”

“That’s the thing it doesn’t.” Tobin said a little louder than intended. “At least it shouldn’t. She is supposed to be my best friend, she should be supportive no matter who I date.”

“True.” She nodded her head in agreement. “What about Chris, how does she feel?”

Now she was uncomfortable. Ashlyn knew Christen way before she knew her. She might have a stake in how she feels, but they were in it now and she had rather tell the truth then cover anything up. Who knows maybe she had some wisdom to impart.

“She’s hurt.” Tobin said honestly. “But I think she understands. We talked. It’s better if we are just friends. I know it sucks. I know I messed up, but I didn’t really. I never told Chris I liked her, I may have implied it, or not… I’m not really sure. I never asked her out, that I am sure of. I don’t know. I hurt her, I know I did, but I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt her on purpose. I just… don’t feel that way about her, not the way I feel about Alex.”

It was a lot, but if anyone knew about these kind of situations it was Ashlyn. “You know when I was in college there was a girl in my English Lit class. She was really cool, a super great girl. I flirted with her, I didn’t do it consciously, like I wasn’t trying to, but I did. After a while I realized I was flirting with her, and I backed off. I didn’t know how I felt, I mean she was great, but did I want to be with her, that was questionable. I was just flirting for fun I don’t know I liked the attention. Well I was going to ask her out, just to see if we _could_ work before I figured out if we _should_ work. Well we went of a date and she was great, super sweet and funny and smart, but it didn’t feel right. A few weeks later we played Ali’s team in soccer, and this insane girl popped into my life, instantly I knew I wanted to be with her. So I did the right thing and I told the other girl that I didn’t think we should date. Yeah, she was pretty pissed at me, apparently she felt a lot stronger for me than I realized. It sucked, but it was the right thing to do. I am supposed to be with Ali, and letting someone think otherwise would have been more messed up then telling them I didn’t want to be with them.”

“What happened with the other girl?” she asked curiously.

Ashlyn laughed. “She poisoned all her friends against me. Made me out to be some two timing player. No one in her group ever spoke to me again, they dragged a few of my friends along with them. It was a huge mess and it kind of put this rift between the majority of the lesbians in the school for like a year.”

“Holy shit.” Tobin said eyes wide.

The older girl chuckled a bit then clapped her on the back. “Don’t worry Chris isn’t that type of girl. I’m sure it’ll all work out.”

“Yeah thanks Ash.”

“Anytime.” She turned around and walked out the stock room.

Even though the ending to the story was pretty harsh and a little frightening Tobin felt better after the talk. There was something inside her that told her to be with Alex, some kind of force that was pushing them together. It wouldn’t have been right not to tell Christen how she felt. In the end she did the right thing. She needed to be with Alex, it was like there was no other option. If only she knew how to do it without losing Christen as a friend. If only Meghan wasn’t a jerk and would just talk to her. She could explain how she felt, let her know that there was something about Alex that she could not walk away from. As much as felt a pull towards Alex, she didn’t want it to come between her and the only other person in the whole world, besides her family, that she loved.

Work went by slowly. Tobin spent most of her time in the back, eating lunch on her own as she always did. Meghan spent all her time in the front, she and Christen had lunch where the conversation stayed along the lines of their talk last night. At the end of the day Tobin and Meghan left at the same time, but they still didn’t talk, they didn’t even look at each other. They both clocked out and walked to their cars, Tobin trailing behind the shorter girl the whole time.

When she got home, Tobin went to the backyard and started to kick balls into the back of the net. It was lonely kicking the balls and getting them from the goal. She missed her friend. She didn’t want to play soccer without her. It had been only thirty minutes before she gave up and went inside. Tonight would be a Netflix night. As she sat on her bed her phone buzzed.

-Work is for losers- Alex was texting her.

Tobin smiled, she was happy to have someone to talk to. –Bad day?-

-Shit day. I’m quitting.-

-What will you do for money?-

-Beg on the streets.-

-Good plan. Let me know what street you end up on, I’ll swing by and see you.-

-Bring money.-

-No way. I’m just going to yell for you to get a job. Maybe throw a slushie at you.-

-Aim for my mouth.-

-What flavor?-

-Blue.-

-That’s not a flavor.-

-Uh, blue is a flavor, it’s blue-

-And what does blue taste like?-

-Blue… duh!-

Tobin started to laugh. Sure she was still upset, and a little lonely, but how could she be too upset when Alex was texting her.

 

\--

 

Monday went just as Tobin expected. They drove separately again arriving at the same time but never talking. Jozy was still stick so Meghan worked the front again, leaving Tobin to herself in the back room. Everything was still said with an attitude when Meghan asked for something from the back, and Tobin always answered with harsh tone and some spite in her words. It seemed like things were just the same and neither of them were going to let up.

The entire day went by slowly, every hour seemed to drag by. Tobin found herself looking up at the clock only to see that the big hand had only moved a few spaces. This was by far the worst situation she had ever been. In the last hour she seriously questioned why she didn’t just go work for her dad. She would rather be making coffee and taking lunch orders then this.

Meghan had Christen to talk to throughout the day. They had spent the majority of their night together again. They sat in Christen’s room watching Netflix and eating giant burritos. The conversation was lighter, they made a packed to not to talk about Tobin at all, which they both broke a few times. Christen was still in the sad phase of the whole thing and Meghan was in an angry phase and neither of them wanted to feed off each other, so they got through five episodes of Gilmore Girls debating on who Rory should have picked. By the end of the night they were full of chicken, bean and cheese goodness and ready to fall asleep. Meghan went home and when she got into bed she checked her phone. In the back of her mind she hoped Tobin had texted, but she knew she wouldn’t text her, not yet.

They had the same end to their day as yesterday, they clocked out and didn’t speak. They walked to their cars separately and didn’t look at each other. Another night separate.

It was almost dinner when Tobin got in from the park. She had enough of sitting around so she took Striker to the park and played fetch for a while. Alex was working the mid shift so she didn’t text much. Most of her family were at work when she got home and she didn’t feel like being there by herself. When she got in taking the harness off the giant dog her mom approached her at the door.

“Tobin, do you mind getting diner for us tonight. I have so many emails to answer I don’t have time to cook.”

“Sure.” Why not, she had nothing better to do with her sad lonely life. “What does everyone want?”

“We have finally decided on burgers. Can you run to Five Guys?” she took her credit card out of her purse and handed it to her daughter.

Tobin took the card and shoved it in her pocket. “Yeah I’ll be back in a little while.”

She wasn’t really in the mood for Five Guys, but she wasn’t really in the mood for anything so a greasy burger would do. The place wasn’t packed so she got to the front of the line pretty quickly. She ordered burgers for her family, she already had theirs orders memorized, everyone was picky, but she knew what to get. She took her ticket and stood off to the side.

“Tobin Heath.” A familiar voice called out.

Tobin looked up to see the beautiful girl coming towards her. “Alex Morgan.” She said with a smile.

Alex gave her a hug and kissed her cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Food for the family.” Tobin held up her long receipt. “Too busy to cook tonight.”

“Nice.” Alex said with her signature smile. “I am on my meal break and was craving a bacon burger.”

“Heathy choice.” Tobin joked. 

Alex gave her a little punch to the arm. As she was about to say something random she noticed the look on Tobin’ face, it wasn’t the normal cute nervous look she usually had, something was off. “What’s wrong Tobin Heath? You look upset.”

With a shrug of her shoulders Tobin hoped to avoid the line of questioning, but Alex wasn’t having it, asking her again this time touching her arm lightly. Tobin gave in. “Kling and I are in a fight.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Alex asked with a worried look.

She didn’t want to tell her. Tobin didn’t want her to worry, but she also didn’t want to lie. “She wanted me to date someone else.” That was simple enough.

“Instead of me?” Alex sounded a little offended. “Who did she want you to date?”

She really didn’t want to answer the question. Even though she had told Alex about what happened between her and Christen, she didn’t know how she would take her still having issues over it. Again, she didn’t want to lie. “Christen, from my job.”

“The girl you kissed?” her voice was low, but not angry.

“Yeah, she and Kling are really good friends and she really wanted me to go out with her. She’s all pissed at me.” Tobin felt the anger starting to rise up in her. “She’s being a real asshole about the whole thing. I don’t know what her issue is.”

Alex titled her head to the side. “I don’t know, that’s a weird one. Can’t say I’ve ever been in that situation.”

“I don’t think anyone has.” Tobin chuckled a bit. “It just sucks because she is my best friend, I thought she’d be happy.”

Alex nodded her head. She looked down and played with her fingers for a second. “Well do you think you and I should take a step back?”

“No.” Tobin said quickly. She reached out and touched Alex’s arm. “No, Alex I don’t want to take a step back. I’ve… I’ve waited too long for this.”

The biggest smile came across her face. “Good, I don’t want to either. But I don’t want you to fight with Kling either.”

Tobin looked into the bright blue eyes of the girl in front of her. She couldn’t believe how much she cared for her already. “It’ll be okay. We will work it out. It just sucks right now.”

“It’ll get better.” Alex said with a smile. “You two can’t stay mad at each other forever, it’s impossible.” She moved in close to her taking the sleeve of her shirt between her two fingers. “Until then you have me.”

Before Tobin was ready Alex had leaned in and kissed her, it was quick but reassuring. By the time her eyes closed in reaction the kiss was over. She looked over, almost swimming in the blue of her eyes, all she could do was smile. In a matter of a few seconds Alex had made everything better. How did she have this effect on her?

A number was called by the person working the counter. Tobin looked down at her ticket, “That’s me.” She said reluctantly.

Alex shooed her up to the counter. She gathered the bags up and quickly walked back to the girl standing in the same spot. Suddenly she was nervous, she didn’t know what to say. Alex had kissed her randomly and that caught her off guard. She didn’t have the cool confidence that she had somehow summed on their trip together, she was back to letting her anxiety take over.

“Text me whenever. I will try and respond as quickly as possible.” Alex told her noticing the look on her face. “It’ll be okay.”

Nodding her head like a dork Tobin finally found some words. “Thanks.” Yeah, that wasn’t enough, but whatever at least it was a word.

“And don’t forget you owe me a date, so be ready on Wednesday.” She told her playfully.

Tobin chuckled a little bit. “I remember.”

With another kiss on the cheek Alex made Tobin leave and bring the food back to her family. In the car Tobin found herself thinking more about the fact that Alex had kissed her randomly then how upset she was about Meghan. What did the random kiss mean? Was that just something that was going to happen now? Did this mean that Alex was her girlfriend? She needed help.

 

\--

 

Tuesday was on them and neither Tobin nor Meghan broke their silence. However Tobin did break her silence with Christen to let her know she wasn’t going to the soccer game in the park. She said it loud enough for Meghan to overhear but all she got from her was a loud scoff. Christen, however was sweet about it, she just told her it was okay. Tobin didn’t want to play soccer. She didn’t want to go out there and not talk to Meghan. She didn’t want to play with Christen because she didn’t hre to be upset. It was better if she sat out the games until everything was better.

At home after work Tobin was looking through her closet. It occurred to her that she might needed to find something to wear for her date with Alex tomorrow night. She went through all her jeans ruling every pair out for one reason or another. All her shirts were dumb. Alex liked button ups and Tobin only had one, the one she wore on the first date. This was going to be a disaster. She gave up and sat on her bed, her clothes scattered around her room.

“Woo, what happened here?” Perry pushed opened Tobin’s bedroom door.

Frustrated with her previous lack of fashion sense Tobin laid back on her bed. “I have no clothes.”

“I beg to differ.” Perry giggled looking around at all the clothes on the floor.

Tobin sat up. “Perry…” she said very seriously, she knew she was going to regret what she was about to say, but she had no choice. “I need you to take me shopping.”

Her eyes got as big as saucers. “I’ll get my keys.”

 

There was no options, no going back, Tobin was quickly dragged out of the house and into the car where Perry drove. Tobin took the time to update her sister on what was going on with Meghan, she didn't want to get into a lot of detail but she did want her to know. Perry had become one of the people she could count on, especially when she was upset, but she didn't want everything going on with Meghan to ruin their shopping trip, so she laid out the basic details and asked to move on. They parked and Tobin got out and looked at the giant store. They were at Kohls and yes she was definitely going to regret this. 

"So what are we looking for exactly?" Perry asked leading Tobin inside.

Of course she didn't know, if it wasn't soccer gear she had no idea what to wear. "What do you think?" She knew that answer would make her sister happy.

Tobin had the same wardrobe since she was thirteen. T-shirts, jeans and snap backs. There was no reason for anything else, she didn't go anywhere or do anything so what was the point of other things. Plus she had a thing about shopping. Her mom would drag her out, take her through the store and try to talk her into wearing things that she wouldn't be caught dead in. Tobin didn't have a fashion sense but she knew plunging neck lines, and quarter capped sleeves were not her style. Most of the time she just wore t-shirts she got from the school, plan white shirts, or soccer jerseys. When it was cold, she had thermals or long sleeve shirts to put under her t-shirts. All her pants had some kind of rip in them, surprisingly they were all from her doing something, she never bought ripped jeans, most of the holes were from falling off her long board or playing soccer when she wasn't supposed to be. She had converse in red and black, and a pair of Dr. Martens that she loved, other than her church shoes that was it. All in all she prided herself in being simple, but it seemed it wasn't good enough for this new Tobin who was going on her second date with a girl who most definitely had a fashion sense.

"First let’s establish a style." Perry had paused in the front of the store. She pointed to the women's section. "I'm going to assume you don't want any of those shirts." 

Tobin looked over and saw a bunch of shirts she would describe as girly. All of them were extremely tampered at the waist line, had short sleeves and either a flower or some kind of inspirational saying on them like 'girl power' or 'eat, sleep, coffee, repeat.' While she did eat, sleep and drink coffee in a continuous loop she did not feel the need to express that on a shirt.

"Nope." She laughed. "Not really a shiny red heart kind of girl." She said looking at one particular shirt.

Her older sister started to laugh. "Okay let’s go to the dudes section." She headed off not looking back to see if her little sister was following.

Tobin almost had to jog to keep up with her. She had never seen her so happy before, but she had only been shopping with Perry a few times and it was only for her like once. She knew her older sister had been dying for this day. She and Katie would go out all the time, Tobin always turned down the invitation unless they promised to take her to the sports store after. This was the first time she was really out with her sister.

"So what's the look you are going for?" She asked absentmindedly. "I am not letting you get a bunch of t-shirts."

Laughing to herself, knowing she would totally get a bunch of t-shirts if she had a choice, she spoke up. "I was thinking some button ups."

Perry turned to her giving her a knowing look. "Oh button ups? And who may I ask are you buttoning up for?"

A little embarrassed Tobin looked away. "Alex likes button ups."

"Aw, my baby sister buying clothes to impress a girl." Perry teased.

They both started to laugh. It was kind of strange buying clothes with someone in mind, but at the same time it was kind of nice. She wanted to look nice for Alex, she wanted her to like what she was wearing. It had never occurred to her that her clothes really didn’t do much of anything for her. Tobin had never really thought of how she looked through someone else’s eyes. She have never thought of someone liking the way she looked. She was confident, she went through that already, but it was strange knowing for a fact that someone found her attractive. She never thought of what made her look her best. She had a thin frame and long limbs, not freakishly long but long enough. What went well with that? That was the reason Perry was here, the reason she didn't trust herself to pick anything out. She had no clue what looked good and why.

Perry held up a red and black checkered shirt. "What do you think of this?" She pushed it up against her.

Tobin looked down at it, holding the long sleeves in her hands as if she was wearing it. "I like it." She said simply, she did like it, but she had no real comment on it. "It's nice."

"Yeah, it'll look nice on you." Perry looked in and checked the tag. "It's a small. Go try it on and see if it fits."

Unenthusiastically Tobin grabbed the shirt and went into the dressing room. She pulled off her t-shirt and looked at herself in the mirror. Yeah she was pretty okay looking. She put on the shirt and buttoned it up, then opened the door to her sister standing outside. 

"Yeah looks good." Perry said, then reached over and unbutton the top button. "Dork."

With a huge grin Tobin turned around and shut the door. She took a look at herself in the mirror. The sleeves were a little long, but she would roll those up, it was too hot to have them down right now. The shirt draped in the right places, it was a little tight around her waist but in a good way, it made it so it wasn't boxy on her. She liked it and now she was wondering if Alex would like it too.

Unexpectedly her mind went to last night when she was getting food, the way Alex was with her. "Perry, what does it mean when a girl kisses you randomly?"

"Are we talking a random girl, or Alex kissed you out of nowhere?" She called through the dressing room door.

"The second one." Tobin laughed. How could she even think that a random girl would just kiss her, and that Tobin would just be cool about it?

There was a paused before she answered. "Well what were the circumstances?"

Tobin was pulling her shirt over her head. "We were in Five Guys and I was talking to her about how Kling was being a jerk. She said that I could always talk to her, and then she kissed me." She walked out of the room and gave her an inquisitive look.

"Are you two officially dating?" Perry asked as the made their way back to the clothes section.

Now that was a good question, Tobin had no idea how to answer that. "What's official?"

Perry took another shirt off the rack and held it up to her sister, looking at it for a second the shaking her head. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" This was more confusing then she thought.

"Did you ask her?" Perry laughed. 

Tobin was trying to avoid the awkwardness of the conversation by pretending to look at the shirts. "Was I supposed to ask?"

"Now a days, yeah." She took out another shirt and held it up to her, with a quick nod she draped it over Tobin's arm where she had the first shirt. 

"Oh." She said in a sad tone.

"If she is not your girlfriend officially and she kissed you randomly, that means she wants to be your girlfriend. I don't know Alex, but I don't think she is the type to go around kissing people randomly."

Tobin nodded. "I hope not." She took a shirt off the rack, it was dark green with orange randomly throughout, she held it up and Perry quickly shook her head and made her put it back. "She did say to let her know when she was being too crazy because she didn't want to mess this up."

Perry turned quickly and gave her a look. "When did she say this?"

"In New Haven." Tobin said casually, then she realized she hadn't told her sister about her trip. She was so messed up about Kling that she didn't get a chance to share the good news. "I had to drive to New Haven on Saturday for work. I didn't want to go alone so I asked Alex and she said yes. We drove there and talked and she kissed me there too, then we drove back and I dropped her off. That's why we are going out tomorrow, she said I owe her for making her go on a road trip on her off day."

"Wait, she drove like six hours with you... on her off day... just because you asked her?"

Causally she gave her a quick nod. "Yeah."

She placed her hand on the shoulder of her little sister. "Tobin, hun... you've got the girl, don't worry."

"I do?" She asked with an innocent look on her face.

Perry laughed. "Yeah, just ask her tomorrow after your date. She won't say no. Trust me."

Tobin just smiled and nodded. Was she right? Did she _have_ Alex already? Maybe she did, but she wasn't as confident as her older sister. Now she definitely had to ask her that was the only way to know for sure.

They went through the rest of the store. Perry picked out five button ups that she said looked best on her. She informed Tobin that she was too tan to wear yellow or anything really super bright, and she was never to wear anything orange ever again. They picked out a few t-shirts that Perry considered nice, they had some button in the front, or they were v-necks. Tobin didn't argue with her when she picked out something she trusted her sister. As much as Tobin wanted to pick out her own jeans, something super comfortable, Perry forced her into a few pairs of skinny jeans, all of them hugged her legs tight which made her feel weird, but they did look nice. Apparently she had great legs and she should wear more form fitting pants. Whatever, she was going to have to take her word for it. They even got a few pairs of shorts that went just above her knees, but still hugged her legs. Perry took her to the shoe section and made her pick out something other than classic converse, Tobin found a loop hole by picking out two pairs of converse that were more like sneakers with high tops and the thicker padding. It was all great until she was pulled over to the underwear section and it got weird.

"Tobin Powell Heath, you need to wear something other than sports bras." Perry yelled at her loud enough to make the lady next to them laugh to herself.

Tobin scowled. "Why? They are comfortable."

"Because being a girl means you have to be a little uncomfortable sometimes." She told her in true big sister fashion.

"That seems stupid." Tobin protested. "Who made that rule?"

"Society." She answered quickly. "Society hates women and therefore we wear uncomfortable things in the name of looking cute."

The younger girl was really trying to get out of this one. "Bras are underneath. Why do I have to ‘look cute’ underneath my clothes."

Perry leaned in close to her, "Because you never know when someone is going to want to look underneath."

"Perry!" Tobin looked around to see if anyone was listening to them.

She took a bra off the rack and threw it at her little sister. "Just go try it on and see if it fits."

There was no way Tobin was going to win this argument. She took the bra and went into the dressing room. Even though she was behind a close door in a little room with one entrance and her sister was standing outside she still felt a little exposed. She had been bra shopping once, with her mom and that was the most uncomfortable thing she had even been through. Her mom kept talking about being a woman and what it meant and how she needed to act. She kept going on about being a lady and how people were going to see her now. She made sure to mention that boys may pay more attention to her now, and Tobin made sure to let her know she did not care about boys, only soccer. Still her mom went on about it.

She remembered all the strange talks that made her want to hide her face. Her mom was such a sweet person, and she always found the most awkward ways of talking to her. Tobin always wondered if Katie and Perry felt as weird as she did. One time she actually did hide her face when she talk to her mom. It was the day she got her period, and she had to tell her mom. She knew all about it, she took health class, and that distressing class in the fifth grade where they explained how babies were made. She told her mom and they sat in the bathroom for twenty minutes as she talked her through all her 'options' when it came to her monthly visit. Tobin literally pulled her sweat shirt up and hid her entire head until the conversation was over. They never really talked about it again. Come to think of it after that one trip to buy bras she never really talked about that with her mom again. Somehow magically whenever one of her bras got worn out another, exactly like it, would appear in her clean clothes and the other one was just gone. She assumed her mom didn't want to go through it with her again so she just continued to replace the old ones without a word. That was a silent agreement that Tobin had zero problem with.

She didn't care about boobs. Hers weren't that big, just something else she needed to strap down before she went out to play. A bra was just like another shirt, a pre shirt if you will, something to put on before you put on the real shirt. They didn't have to be fancy, no crazy colors, just plain and simple. She remembered looking through the laundry and finding Kate and Perry's bras, theirs were fancy, different colors with lace all over. She was dragged to Victoria’s Secret once with them, everything they wanted in there was fancy and lacy and cost a freaking fortune. Pointless. Why buy all that when what she was wearing was working just fine.

No one was trying to look underneath, not right now, well maybe not. Oh Jesus, did Alex want to look underneath? Was that something she needed to think about? They had only kissed, was there going to be more, like soonish? Was that what Perry was suggesting, that Alex wanted to see… her... naked. 

Suddenly she felt a little overwhelmed. She looked at herself in the mirror with the bra on. It was simple, black with no real craziness to it, a little lace at the top of the cups, but not over the top. Was this what she was supposed to be wearing? It was different, instead of holding things down it kind of pushed them up made it look like she had a lot more than usual. Was this what every girl wore? No wonder everyone's boobs seemed a lot bigger than hers, they weren't smushing theirs down. Oh no, would this make everyone look at her boobs? Was this what her mom was talking about? Was Alex going to look at her boobs? She probably already has. I mean, she had already looked at Alex's boobs, it wasn't like a thing, she just looked, not a big deal, how could she not, Alex wore tank tops and Tobin’s eyes just traveled down there. But Alex was hot, like really hot, like what in the world was she doing chasing after Tobin hot. 

_Wait am I hot_ She had already told herself she was good looking, she admitted that with no issue, but was she hot? She looked at herself again. Maybe she was, like kinda, maybe. Tobin stood for a minute and thought to herself. Was she hot? Alex Morgan was drop dead gorgeous, she could have anyone she wanted and yet she wanted to date Tobin. Maybe that meant something. Maybe she was hot, and she just needed this bra to make it so, and those shirts, and pants. Maybe she was hiding under all the plain clothes she wore. She never needed to be hot before, but now she was dating Alex Morgan (well not officially, but almost) and now she needed... no she wanted to be hot. She looked at the bra one more time. Yeah maybe she was hot. 

"Well?" Perry´s voice took Tobin out of her thoughts. 

"It fits fine... I think." Tobin called through the door. 

"Do I need to come in there?" 

"No." Tobin yelled. "I'm fine." 

Perry could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Tobin unlock the door, let me in." 

"Dude, no way." She tried to sound assertive. 

"Tobin unlock the door or I am crawling underneath." 

She knew her sister wasn't joking, she had the stubbornness of her mother and she would crawl under the door if she didn't get what she wanted. Tobin unlocked the door and stood to the side. Perry opened it just enough to get in then closed and locked it back. Tobin had her arms crossed on her chest, it was her sister yes but it didn't stop her from being weird. Perry reached up and slammed her arms down. 

"It looks good." She said with a smile. 

With a scowl on her face Tobin looked in the mirror. "Really?" 

"Yes you loser is looks good. Now turn around." Perry pulled on the straps adjusting them a few times. "There, now it looks great." 

"Thanks... pervert." 

Perry gave her a light slap to the head. "Whatever, change and I will pick out a few more in your size." She unlocked the door and slipped out leaving Tobin to herself. 

Quickly Tobin changed back into her clothes and walked out the dressing room. Perry had already picked out a few more bras in her size, luckily she didn't force Tobin to try those on. With that they were done and headed up to the counter. As they stood in line Tobin questioned who was paying for all this. Perry told her that as soon as their mom heard that Tobin wanted new clothes she practically threw her card at her, Perry had to stop her mom from joining them on the trip which Tobin was eternally grateful for. Her mom had given up buying her clothes a few years ago accepting Tobin would be happy wearing the same four shirts in a random sequence. She was probably not going to be super happy about the men's shirts, but that was something she would just have to get over. 

They approached the counter and Perry placed everything on top. The girl at the counter looked like she was around the same age as Tobin, which made her think that maybe she had seen her at school before. It was a huge school and she didn't really know anyone outside the soccer team. 

The girl was pretty with light blonde hair and big green eyes, she looked up at Tobin and smiled. "College shopping?" 

Tobin expected Perry to answer but when her big sister didn't speak up Tobin answered. "Uh kind of." 

She smiled. "Where are you headed?" 

Again Tobin was shocked she was the one that had to answer. "Uh- University of North Carolina." 

"The Tar Heels, very cool." She typed some numbers into the computer. "I'm headed to Florida State." 

"The Seminoles... they have a great soccer team." Tobin said without thinking. 

The girl looked up at her, surprisingly she was still smiling. "You play soccer?" 

Tobin nodded her head. "Uh-yeah I do." 

"You any good?" She asked sweetly. 

Tobin rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "Yeah... I'm pretty good." 

"Well maybe I'll have to watch the soccer games next year." 

She chuckled nervously. "Uh-yeah, you should." 

The cashier told them to total and Perry swiped the card. They gathered all the bags up and Tobin waved goodbye to the girl, trying her hardest not to look like a fool. She concentrated hard on not tripping as they walked out the door and headed to the car. 

So, you just got hit on." Perry said as the loaded the back seat up. 

Tobin looked over at her like a deer in headlights. "No way." 

"Oh way." Her sister laughed as she headed towards the car door. 

Damn, maybe she was hot. \-- 

Tobin didn't worry herself at work. Jozy was still stick so Meghan stayed up front, the attitude seemed to be a little calmer now, so that was good, but she didn't really think about that, she was focused on her date. She would have liked to talk to her best friend about it, but it seemed like she was about to go on her second officially date without discussing a single second of it with the one person she was supposed to be able to talk to. It didn't matter, she wasn't the one who needed to say something. Besides it seemed like Meghan and Christen were getting along perfectly fine without her. She had overheard them talking about the soccer game and how much fun it was. She could tell Meghan was being over the top, probably trying to rub it in her face, but whatever she didn't care. 

After work she got home and went for a run. Just like the last time she really needed to get some of her energy out before she went out. Again she showered a million times, applied way more than the recommended amount of deodorant and finally put on the new clothes. She picked a blue, grey and black stripped shirt rolling up the sleeves as previously planned. She put on the light blue jeans that Perry insisted made her look good, and the new grey converse. There is was, she looked good, just one more thing. She went through the bags and found the final piece, a brand new SnapBack, it was black with a grey bill and a white New York Jets logo on it. She wasn't a huge football fan, but she liked The Jets and the hat was super awesome, and now she was all set. 

Practically running, she headed down the stairs and to the door. She was almost there when her mom called out. 

"You look nice." She said peeking from around the corner. 

Tobin stopped in her tracks, she could do this. She turned around with a huge grin. "Thanks. I'm headed out I'll be back in a few hours?" She turned around to leave. 

"Where are you headed?" Her mom asked. 

_Dammit_ She turned on her heels. "To the movies." 

"With who?" 

"A friend." 

"Meghan?" 

"Nope... Alex." 

"Who's Alex?" 

That's right she had no other friends. "From soccer." 

"Oh Alex Morgan from your team." She sounded pleased. 

"Yup, that's the one." Tobin tried to leave again only to be stopped. 

"She's a nice girl." 

This conversation was not ending. "Yeah she's great." 

"When did you two start hanging out?" 

"A few weeks ago." Tobin took out her phone and looked at the time. "Mom I'm going to be late if I don't leave now." 

Her mom gave her a burgeoned smile. "Okay have fun." 

"Thanks mom, love you bye." She rushed out the house before she could say something else, because if she gave her the time she would definitely say something else. 

She drove to Alex's house debating on whether or not she should knock on the door. The proper thing to do would be to knock and wait, but this was 2017 and she was pretty sure no one knocked on doors asking for peoples daughters anymore. Besides the thought of meeting her parents and seeing the look on their faces when weirdo Tobin Heath turned up made her feel a little uneasy. She decided it was better to text Alex she was on her way and judge the situation by her response. 

-Be there in fifteen- 

She waited for a response, and one came pretty quickly. 

-text me when you are outside.- 

Oh thank God, that meant she was going to come out and Tobin did not have to go to the door and make small talk with anyone. She drove through the streets that were just starting to darken as the sun set. When she got to Alex's house she texted her. She didn't want to go to the door, but she should at least be standing outside waiting on her, that was the chivalrous thing to do, open the door for her and all that, so she stood outside and waited. 

Alex came out the house, she looked amazing. She had on a skirt, white with a blue pattern, it kind of flowed when she walked. Her shirt was simple, the same blue that was on the skirt, it looked kind of like t-shirt but without sleeves. To complete it she had on a pair of low top white converse. Turned out Alex was kind of girly which Tobin liked a lot. 

"Do we match, right now?" Alex asked noticing that their blues were similar. 

Tobin looked down at her shirt. "Uh-yeah maybe. Is that weird?" 

"Nope." She stood in front of her smiling from ear to ear. She leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "It's just funny. You ready to go?" 

"Yeah." Tobin opened to door and let Alex get in before walking around the car to the driver’s seat. 

She had done it again, kissed her randomly. Maybe this was just what was going to happen from now on. Alex was just going to kiss her when they saw each other. This is something that she could definitely get used to. 

She got in the car and looked over at the girl sitting next to her, again she was taken back by the fact that she was even there with her. She was really taking Alex out again. 

They talked back and forth as they drove to the theater. Alex had a crappy day at work, which was almost every day as she explained. Tobin jus listened to her talk commenting whenever she was asked a question. She liked listening to Alex talk. If you didn't stop her she would go on and on, but not without asking little questions in between thoughts. Her mind went a mile a minute always changing subjects then back tracking to another, she spent most of her time explaining why she was talking about something rather than actually talking about it. Tobin wasn't a big talker and Alex seemed to pick up on that. She was perfectly happy listening to her talk about day to day things, making funny comments about everyone she talked to and constantly reminding herself of something she wanted to tell Tobin. Whenever she would remember something she wanted to talk about she would gasp and touch Tobin's arm and say something along the lines of 'Oh that's what I wanted tell you' Tobin thought it was incredibly cute, and she was happy that Alex even thought about her throughout her day and made mental notes to tell her about things. Maybe she did already have the girl. 

At the theater they were standing in line and Alex was talking about a customer that she had, casually she hooked her arm in Tobin's. It was so quick Tobin almost didn't notice it, but when she did she tried to keep her cool even though she wanted to freak out. Alex Morgan’s arm was hooked in hers, in public where everyone could see. Everyone within a block radius could see Alex’s arm in hers, everyone who wondered by could tell they were on a date. How cool was that? 

"How's everything going with Kling?" Alex asked randomly. 

Tobin looked over to her and half smiled. "She's still not talking to me." 

Alex frowned. "Man this fight is really serious. Have you tried talking to her?" 

"No." She told her with a little too much attitude on it. She softened her voice. "I'm not the one that needs to apologize, she's the one who is wrong." 

"Yeah that's true, but maybe she doesn't know how to start the conversation. I mean this is new for the both of you." She was so sweet, her voice light and airy and reassuring. 

Tobin tossed her head back a little. "Are you saying I should swallow my pride?" 

"Definitely not." Alex said quickly. "You are in the right, she is wrong in this one. I'm saying if you don't say something than maybe nothing will ever be said and you two will be in a big fight for the rest of your lives." 

"Well that's fine. She and Christen are like best friends now, so maybe she doesn't need me anymore." The words hurt a little as she said them. 

Alex tapped her on the arm. "You know that's not true. They are both upset and unfortunately you are their common enemy. Once you two talk, and Christen moves on everything will go back to normal." 

"Yeah maybe." Tobin said under her breath. 

"Unless they fall in love and start dating, then you are screwed." 

Tobin looked over to her, worried she might be right. When Alex started to laugh Tobin started to as well. "Don't say stuff like that." 

"What they are both gay, and if she liked you then she has the potential to like Kling." Alex said nonchalantly. 

"Yeah but I don't think Kling has to potential to like her." Tobin thought for a minute, maybe she did. 

"Who does Kling like? That is such a mystery." 

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure she likes anyone right now. She use to have a huge crush on Morgan, but I'm not sure if that's a thing anymore." 

Alex hit Tobin in the arm. "Wait, Morgan... my Moe?" 

Shit, she wasn't sure she was supposed to say that. "Uh-yeah." 

"Dude, you and I are totally going to play match maker." Alex was looking up like she was picturing something. 

Confused by the random statement Tobin asked, "What do you mean?" 

"Moe and Kling." Alex said simply. "Moe has always had a thing for Kling, and now we know she had a thing for her back. We are totally meddling." 

"We are?" Tobin was definitely unsure of what was taking place. 

Alex gave her a knowing look. "Oh for sure." 

The whole thing was worrisome, Tobin wasn't even sure she was supposed to say anything about Meghan likening Morgan, that was something she told her in confidence, now Alex knew and she wanted to meddle. She was pretty sure this was not going to fix things between her and Meghan, but then again maybe if she had someone else to focus her energy on it would make things better, after all they had talked about dating Morgan and Alex all the time in high school. Maybe this was their high school fantasy coming to life. A giant best friend couple thing (they needed to work on the name). Alex was smart, she knew what she was doing with this whole dating thing, maybe she was right. 

As they stood in line Tobin listened to Alex come up with a plan, she kept saying the word ‘we’ as in her and Tobin. She noticed each time she said the word, it came out so easy like she had been saying it for years. ‘We’ she said it a few more times, it was so simple, ‘we’, so there was a ‘we’ and ‘us’. This was a thing. Shit, she had better not mess up this date or maybe that word would change. 

They got to the ticket counter and Tobin insisted on paying. They got to the snack counter and Alex ordered a medium popcorn, snowcaps, two medium cokes and an extra medium bag. Tobin gave her a strange look before moving her out the way before she could pay, this was a date and she was going to take care of everything. They walked into the theater and Alex chose seats high up and in the center. 

"Why did you get an extra bag?" Tobin asked as she sat down. 

Alex open the extra bag and handed it to her. She poured a little of the popcorn in then opened the snow caps and poured some of them into the bag, then reappeared the actions. "See you have to have snowcaps in your popcorn, that's a law, but if you just pour it on top then you'll only have chocolate for like the first few bites and that’s not cool. You have to layer it that way you get the chocolaty goodness for your whole movie experience." 

Tobin watched as she shook up the bag, grinning in satisfaction. "You're a strange person." 

"Hey they said Van Gough was strange and look at what happen to him." 

"He cut off his ear because he fell in love with his niece, then killed himself before he sold his second painting." 

Alex threw a piece of popcorn in her mouth then gave a smile. "Exactly." She wiggled her eyebrows then turned to watch the screen. 

The more time Tobin spent with Alex the more she realized that Alex wasn't this super cool chick who did typical awesome things and was always super smooth the way she had originally thought. Alex Morgan was weird and it was amazing. They watched the movie, and Tobin would never admit that Alex was right about the layering of the snowcaps, it did make the popcorn a lot better. It was the middle of the movie that she stopped paying attention to the screen. Alex had scooted closer to her and her mind began to race. 

It was movie, the typical date night outing, she had seen this in movies, she heard plenty of people talking about it. They had shared popcorn which was awesome because their hands kept touching and it sent chills down her spine every time. They were watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 so it wasn't scary, so Alex had no reason to like jump into her arms or anything. She was holding the popcorn so she had no chance to like hold her hand. Was she supposed to do something, like whisper to her, no only assholes talk during movies. Was she supposed to put her arm around her, how she had popcorn. Was she supposed to try and kiss her, yeah right in the dark no way she would even come close to hitting the mark. Okay, maybe she was just supposed to chill out and watch the movie. 

The popcorn was more than halfway done when they had both kind of stopped eating it. Alex looked over at her and asked if she was done, Tobin nodded her head. She was reluctant to put it down, it was really the only thing that was keeping her occupied and not looking like a loser, but she didn't really have much of a choice when Alex took the bag and set it on the floor in front of them. Tobin watched as she put it down, her hair had fallen to the side and she looked at her neck, _why are you looking at her neck you weirdo?_ She tried to focus on the screen. 

Alex sat back up and without warning she took Tobin's hand and pulled her arm up and around her shoulders. That was the move; that was what she was supposed to do, lucky for her Alex did it for her. She leaned in close to Tobin setting her head on her shoulder. Tobin tried to calm herself down, but her heart decided it wanted to beat as hard and as fast as it could possibly go. _She smells great, like cotton candy._ Great now she was focusing on how she smelled, and she kind of wanted cotton candy. Alex seemed calm about the whole situation. She had put Tobin's arm around her like it was no big deal, like that was the plan all along. How was she so damn calm? Right she's Alex, she's not a nervous wreck like you. Tobin decided to focus on her breathing, taking deep breaths, but then that was weird and her chest was rising and falling too much, so she took shallow breaths, but that made her light headed, so she tried just normal breathing, and that worked out best. 

Now that she could breath, she needed to focus on not overheating. Alex was laying comfortably next to her, but her body radiated heat like she was the sun. This was okay, this just took some concentration. She took a drink out of her cup, yes the ice hadn't melted yet. She gripped her cup and tried to put all her energy into the cold in her hand and not the fact that the opposite side of her was in fact boiling lava hot. Tobin normally ran cool, it took a lot to get her temperature to rise, she could be a vampire, she had a low heart rate and a naturally low body temperature, she just needed to think about that. _Be a vampire_ she repeated in her head a few times. Then she thought about Alex's neck again. Shit maybe she was as vampire. Okay scratch that plan, just try and focus on not melting. _The movie is almost over, you got this. Let’s go team._ Who was the team? She was the team, a one woman team whose only mission was to not overheat, not raise her heart rate and definitely not be a vampire. Easy enough. 

The movie was over about twenty minutes later. Alex sat up and looked over to Tobin who gave her a goofy smile. Alex shook her head a little then leaned in and kissed her. There she goes again, kissing her at random. 

As they walked out of the theater Alex was talking about the movie. Tobin had only really seen the first half, the rest of the time was spent keeping herself from looking like an idiot, which she managed to do. On the way to the car Alex took her hand and laced her fingers in her. 

"Why is your hand so cold?" She asked holding up their hands. 

Well, that was the hand she was holding the drink with to keep herself cool. She smiled a little and shook her head. "I don't know. I'm just a cold person." 

"I'm always hot." Alex said off hand. 

Tobin wanted to say she noticed, but she just let it go and listened it her talk more about the movie. On the drive home Alex was talking about the sequels to all the superhero movies, turns out she was a little bit of a nerd and really into superheroes, another thing Tobin thought was totally cute. The whole time Tobin was thinking about what Perry had said to her in the store. She basically had the girl, she just needed to ask. 

They pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. They stood together Alex close enough to Tobin where she could feel the heat coming off her body. Tobin kept thinking how they seemed to find themselves like this a lot, leaned up against a car, Alex touching her shirt in some way. Tonight she was touching her top button, holding in between her fingers. 

"Thanks for coming out with me." Tobin said sweetly. 

Alex gave her a loving look. "I kind of forced you to take me out." 

"Kind of." Tobin laughed, "But I am really glad you did. I really like spending time with you." 

That magic smile came across her face making Tobin a little weak. Alex took a small step forward, enough that her body was touching the girl in front of her. It wasn't Alex that made the move, it was Tobin, she wasn't going to be caught off guard this time. She leaned in and captured Alex's lips in hers. It was amazing how comfortable she was when she knew what was happening, her hands came up and retested on Alex's waist pulling her in just a little. Alex raised her arms and wrapped them around Tobin's neck resting them gently on her shoulders. This kiss was long both of them finally putting all they had in it. When it ended Alex smiled, her eyes still closed. Tobin just watched for a second in awe of what was happening to her. 

The nerves started to build up in her. She had just had an amazing time with Alex and now she needed to ask her one thing. All she had to do was ease into it. "So I was wondering something.” 

Even in the short time they had been seeing each other Alex already knew when Tobin had something to say that made her anxious. She always looked down at the ground to try and hide the fact that her eyes were wide with worry. “What’s up Tobin Heath?” 

Tobin took a huge breath. “Well we have been hanging out…” That sounded stupid, but she was in it now. “I was just wondering if… Uh-I was hoping that... I mean you don't have to, if you don't want to, but I would like it if maybe you would be my girlfriend.” She looked up at her and tried not to panic. 

Alex looked at her with lowered eyebrows. “No.” 

Tobin’s heart almost stopped. “No.” she needed to run, she needed to hide, she needed to do something. “Oh.” Was all she could say. 

Seeing Tobin’s face drop there was no way Alex could hold onto it; she cracked a smile and started to laugh. Tobin jumped moving from the middle of the car to the front hood. 

“You are so mean.” Tobin laughed, but it was a nervous laugh, her heart was now slamming against her chest. “Why are you so mean to me?” 

Alex was now standing near the trunk, she was still laughing but she had lightened it waiting for Tobin to start breathing again. “I don’t know. I couldn’t help myself. You’re so damn cute, and nervous, and it’s so easy.” She watched Tobin cross her arms, she was trying to be mad at her but it wasn't working. “I'm sorry." She gave her a little pouty look. "That was super mean... come here.” She held out her hand. 

It was the look on Alex’s face, a cross between an evil grin and a loving gaze. It was the fire in her eyes, the way they burned dark blue in the dark of the night. That look gave Tobin a spark she wasn't nervous anymore. She didn't want to be. She wanted to be confident, they type of girl that wasn't afraid to make a move, the type of girl that didn't question everything before she did it. She had been on two dates and a road trip, she was wearing brand new clothes, literally walking in new shoes, she had been hit on by a random cashier to Kohl’s for God sake. This was a new Tobin and she didn't need to be nervous. Dammit she was Tobin Heath, officially hot, and she most definitely had this. 

Tobin stared Alex down, “No you come here.” She said in a stern voice. 

How was Alex supposed to say no to that? She could try, but there was no denying it. Alex took a few steps towards the demanding girl. Before she could get all the way there Tobin had her hands on her waist, she spun her around just enough so her back was against the car. Alex didn’t get a chance to breathe before Tobin was pressed up against her pulling her in close and kissing her. It was strong almost knocking the air from her lungs. This was a whole different side of Tobin Heath, and it was good. 

As the kiss ended Alex had her hands on Tobin’s shoulders. She took a deep breath trying to regain some kind of control over herself. “Damn that was smooth.” She whispered. 

“Probably the smoothest thing I have ever done in my life.” Tobin said still close enough to feel Alex’s breath against her skin. “So are you going to be my girlfriend or not?” 

“Oh yeah.” Alex whispered then pulled her in for another kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read all this and were excepting some Preath, then you read the wrong chapter. Go back and read the last chapter. If you read it wanting some Talex and now you want more, well you're going to have to wait.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Fire and Ice Cream (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin spends her day with her new girlfriend. Meghan and Christen start to grow their friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next Talex chapter. If you are looking for Preath the chapter after this one is for you. If you are looking for some good Talex stuff, then you are in the right place.
> 
> As always, ignore the typos and enjoy.

Today was the first time in Tobin’s life that she was completely alone. Her refusal to talk to her best friend, and Meghan’s complete lack of an apology alienated them from each other. Alex had work today so she couldn’t go hang out with her. Christen was still hurt so she was out of the question. Everyone in her family had to work on Thursday so she was alone. Well except Striker who was outside barking at a bird that decided to make a nest in a tree in their back yard. She grabbed her cup of coffee and went in the back yard to watch Striker bark and try to climb the tree.  
   
It was almost noon, she had slept in way too late, but she had spent the night texting Alex. That was a new pattern that she was starting to get used to. She would come home and text Alex letting her know she made it, even though the drive was less than twenty minutes and it was through one of the safest neighborhoods in all of Jersey, still she texted as she was instructed to do. Alex would text back and ask her a question, then it would turn into them having a random conversation until Alex finally told her she needed to sleep. Tobin didn’t even mind being sleepy in the mornings, she was willing to be dog tired everyday if it meant she got to talk to Alex for just a little while.  
   
Taking small sips from the hot mug, she took out her phone and opened up her Facebook. She expected to see her notifications blank but it wasn’t and for the first time it wasn’t something Meghan had tagged her in, it was a friend request. She clicked on the notification, it was Alex. Well they were dating now, officially, so they should be friends on Facebook that’s only logical. Tobin clicked accept, and for the first time she could see Alex’s entire profile.  
   
There were a hell of a lot more pictures than before. Tobin clicked on them, of course they were mostly of her and Morgan hanging out and making silly faces. She had a bunch with the team. They took pictures constantly on the bus to and from the games. There were a lot from school at lunch or in the parking lot. Alex seemed to have a ton of friends and not just from the soccer team. Alex was popular, she always had been, but seeing all the pictures really confirmed how many people really liked her.  
   
As she scrolled through she saw pictures from parties, Alex with her arms around people, or candid shots with them all standing around. There were a ton with her holding red plastic cups, Alex drank at parties, which was typical high school stuff, at least that’s what Tobin saw in movies. Most of the girls on the soccer team started going to real parties in junior year, they would talk about sneaking out their houses and who was going to drive. The team usually gathered around Alex when they were making any kind of plans. She was always their leader in a way, giving yes's and no’s to all the ideas, it was always in a casual way like she didn’t really care much about the idea, yet everyone always ended up doing what she said. Monday mornings were always filled with the team talking about their weekend, Tobin always listened in to see what happened, but never shared what she did, no one wanted to hear about her and Meghan watching NWSL highlights. Everyone wanted to hear about Alex and so did Tobin.  
   
She clicked on the album marked ‘Soccer’ and scrolled though. The earliest photos were of Alex holding up a Cal Berkeley jersey with a huge smile on her face. Then one of the team all in a row around the championship trophy. The rest were of her playing with a serious look on her face. That was a look Tobin knew well. Alex was one of the happiest people on the bus rides and in the locker room but when she got on the field it was all business with her face turning into a scowl her eyebrows knitted together the whole time. It was only when she scored that she smiled and jumped into one of the other girls arms, then it was back to serious. Everyone on the team always laughed at her for the serious face, the “Lex-Soccer-Face” they imitated her on the bus all the time. Tobin liked the soccer face, it meant Alex’s head was in the game, and she could tell Alex took soccer as serious as she did.  
   
Tobin looked through the album seeing the soccer world through Alex’s eyes. It was extremely different, almost a parallel world even though they were on the same team. There was a video of the team on the bus, Tobin clicked play and watched it. The entire team was signing “Call Me Maybe” it looked like JJ was the one taking the video, she would turn it to herself and sing along. As the video went on, the singing absolutely terrible, soccer players don’t make good singers, everyone on the team was having a great time. In the back ground Tobin could see herself, the back of her head. She was sitting at the front of the bus with Meghan no doubt huddled around one of their phones watching a soccer video. The whole team was singing, they even convinced their coach to sing a few lines, but she and Meghan were the only ones not included. It wasn’t the teams fault, they would have included them if they would have made themselves available, but they didn’t, they never did.  
   
This was Alex’s world, signing popular songs on the bus, laughing and having fun. She went to parties and had friends. She went to prom, some really tall volleyball player that Tobin remembered being completely jealous of. Alex had the high school experienced that everyone was meant to have. Even her Facebook was how Tobin expected a page to be, tons of likes and comments, everyone posting on her wall. She had links to her twitter, snapchat, tumblr, Instagram and some other sites Tobin had never been on. For all intents and purposes Alex Morgan was the perfect eighteen year old girl. Alex was that person in high school, cool and happy, and then there was Tobin, in the background. Tobin found herself wondering if she could really be with Alex, if she could make her happy the way she was in high school. Could Tobin, perpetually in the background, make this girl happy?  
   
As she scrolled through more pictures she got another notification, she clicked down and saw it was Alex.  
   
**~Alex Morgan is requesting to be in a relationship with you~**  
   
Tobin stared down at the message. Alex wanted to make them official, like officially official, like on Facebook where everyone could see. How did it get to this? Tobin couldn’t help the huge smile that appeared on her face. Alex Morgan wanted to tell all her friends that they were dating; she wanted to tell all the cool kids that she was dating dorky Tobin Heath. The gravity of it all hit Tobin like a ton of bricks, she had a girlfriend, a real one, and it was Alex Morgan. She clicked accept, then scrolled through to make sure the status didn’t show up on any of her relatives pages. When she looked back at her profile it was already there; the giant declaration of her happiness:  
   
**You are now in a relationship with Alex Morgan**  
   
Their profiles pictures appeared next to each other, Alex’s huge smile looking up at someone taking a picture of her sitting on the soccer field; Tobin’s picture of her balancing a ball on her forehead. The status even had two tiny girl figures holding hands. Facebook was really happy about them being together. Shit, Tobin was really happy about it. She was dating Alex Morgan. She jumped up from the chair and called for Striker, she needed to go for a run.  
   
As she was putting her running gear her phone buzzed, it was Alex.  
   
-Good morning GGUURRLLFFRRAANNNDDD  
   
Tobin laughed to herself, of course Alex was going to be over the top that’s who she was. –Good morning girlfriend ;)-  
   
-Are we FBO or what?-  
   
Tobin read the message then quickly typed FBO into safari. It meant Facebook Official, a term people used when their relationship status changed on Facebook. She shook her head for not knowing what that meant and being completely uncool. She typed to Alex –Yeah we are!-  
   
-I’m super excited!-  
   
-I can tell.-  
   
-Be more excited Tobin Heath.-  
   
-Woooo YEAH!!!....\\(o.o)\\.../(o.o)/…\\(o.o)\\-  
   
-You’re a dork!-…-What are you up to?-  
   
-About to run with Striker. Are you headed into work?-  
   
-Which Striker? Is she better than me? And yes booooo.-  
   
-Lol, Striker is my dog, and yes he is better than you, sorry.- Tobin took a picture of the happy dog who was clearly getting tired of waiting to go on the run.  
   
–He is so cute!-  
   
A few seconds later she got a photo of Alex with a chocolate lab. -This is Obi Wan and we totally have to have a doggie date-  
   
Tobin chuckled at the photo. Alex had a huge smile on her face, smushed up next to the dog face. She couldn’t help but look at how blue her eyes looked in the photo. _This is my girlfriend_ she thought in her head. How in the world did she get so lucky?  
   
She texted back -As long as he promises to train me in the ways of the force.-  
   
-You have much to learn young padawan. And I have to get to work. Have a good run and text me.-  
   
-Lol, okay will do. Have fun at work.-  
   
Tobin tucked her phone in her shorts after plugging in her headphones and turning on her running playlist. Maybe today wasn’t going to be that bad.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Meghan opened her eyes to a strange room. It took her a second to remember that she had slept at Christen’s house last night. She went there after the game to hang out because she didn’t have Tobin to talk to and because Christen seemed like she still needed a friend. They watched movies and ate two grilled cheese sandwiches a piece and an entire family sized bag of Cheetos Puffs. They had put on a Netflix show and started talking about the soccer game and what they expected college to be like. They had been talking through three episodes and they realized it was almost two in the morning. Christen offered to let her sleep there instead of driving home and Meghan accepted happily, after all she didn’t have Tobin to text at night and it was incredibly sad in her room alone.  
   
Meghan grabbed her phone to look at the time, it was just past noon, which meant she slept way past when she normally did, but normally she had Tobin to wake her up and force her to go on a run. As she flipped on her back she realized Christen was already up and looking through Instagram on her phone.  
   
“Hey how long have you been up?” she asked in a yawn.  
   
Christen looked over to her and smiled. “Like an hour. I’m not good at sleeping in.”  
   
Meghan shook her head. “Yeah I don’t normally sleep in either. Tobin always wakes me up for a run or training or whatever she wants to do.”  
   
“I could use a run.” Christen said with a shrug of her shoulders.  
   
The shorter girl let out a loud growl. “Not you too.”  
   
“We don’t have to.” She laughed. “We can get breakfast and just be lazy.”  
   
“That sounds more my speed.” Meghan smiled.  
   
She sat up against the pillows and yawned before opening her phone, she had the little red number two on her Facebook icon. She clicked the app and went to the notifications, her heart almost stopped. She turned off her phone and tossed it on the bed in front of her.  
   
“What?” Christen asked sensing how upset she was.  
   
Meghan shook her head. “It’s nothing… it’s stupid… don’t worry about it.”  
   
Christen grabbed the phone from the bottom of the bed and held it up to the girl next to her. She pushed it towards her a few times before Meghan put her thumb against the home button to unlock the phone. Christen looked at the open screen her eyes glued to the phone.  
   
“Wow.” She said in a low voice. “So they’re together… officially.”  
   
Meghan looked over to the phone. There it was:  
   
  **Tobin Heath is in a relationship with Alex Morgan**  
   
“Yeah I guess so.” Meghan crossed her arms across her chest.  
   
Christen clicked Alex’s picture and went into her profile. She scrolled through her page. “Wow she is really pretty.”  
   
Meghan grabbed the phone and tossed it back to the bottom of the page. “Dude, Alex has nothing on you.”  
   
“Yeah except, she is a soccer player, a forward with a full ride to Cal Berkeley, she is drop dead gorgeous and oh yeah she has Tobin.”  
   
“So what.” Meghan popped up and turned to face the sad girl. She grabbed her hands. “Dude you have all that. You’re a bad ass soccer player with a full ride to UNC which is like way better than dumb old Berkeley. You are drop dead gorgeous, like blow her out of the water hot. And so what you don’t have Tobin, who cares, Tobin is not the great, she’s weird, and awkward, and can’t eat apples unless they are cut up, and she listens to the same five songs for months on end, and every single pair of jeans she owns has some kind of tear in them.”  
   
Christen was upset but she couldn’t help but smile at the list of bad Tobin things. “Those are all really cute things.”  
   
Knowing she was horrible at pointing out bad things about her best friend, Meghan just nodded her head. “Okay, yeah so Tobin is pretty great, but that’s not the point. The point is, you are amazing, like the coolest chick in the world and its Tobin’s loss.”     
   
“Thanks Kling.” Christen sat up in the bed and let out a huge breath. “Okay, let’s go for a run.”  
   
“Dammit, that’s what you took from that.”  
   
   
\--  
   
   
It was mid afternoon and Tobin had already been on a six mile run, kicked fifty penalties and took fifty corners three quarters of which she successfully bent into the net. Now she was bored and juggling the ball on her knee in the back yard. Her whole family was still gone and even Striker was taking a nap. She was completely on her own, bored out of her mind. She kicked the ball up a few times counting how many hits she could get before dropping the ball when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She was hoping it was Meghan being as bored as she was and wanting to talk, but it was Alex.  
   
-What are you doing?-  
   
-Kicking the ball around in my back yard.-  
   
-Come eat lunch with me.-  
   
Well there you go, now she wouldn’t be bored. She replied okay to Alex and told her she’d be there in thirty minutes. Quickly, she showered and changed into the pair of black shorts that hugged her legs and a white v-neck shirt, an outfit that Perry bought her. She put on her old shoes and her USWNT hat and headed out the door.  
   
She drove anxious to see Alex. This was the first time they would see each other after making their relationship a real thing. This was the first time Tobin was going to see her girlfriend. How was she supposed to act? Did she hold her hand? Did she put her arm around her? She settled in her head, she was going to be a dork there was no getting around it, but at least Alex was kind of expecting it. Plus Alex was awesome and she seemed to make most of the moves. If Tobin was lucky she would just have to follow her lead and everything would be okay.  
   
She was outside the office supply store Alex worked at, she texted her and waited in the parking lot. So she didn’t have her best friend, so this was the first time ever that she wasn’t playing soccer with Meghan talking the whole time, so it was weird not texting her or debating on strange topics with her. So what? She had Alex, who was coming out of the store and walking towards her.  
   
Alex came over in her khaki pants and orange polo shirt with her hair tied back and a smile on her face. “Well hello gurlfrand.” She leaned in and gave Tobin a quick kiss.  
   
“Hey.” Tobin was still a little taken back by the fact that Alex kissed her at random, but she needed to not just stand there and stare at her. “Nice shirt.”  
   
“Oh don’t even.” Alex laughed tugging on her work shirt. “You are so lucky you work at a cool soccer store. You get to wear t-shirts and jeans and hats. I would kill to work there.”  
   
“Well maybe I will put in a good word for you… if you are nice.” She opened the passenger side door.  
   
Alex gave her a wicked grin. “I am always nice Tobin Heath.” She got in the car and watched Tobin close the door and jog around the front.  
   
“So where to?” Tobin asked turning on the car.  
   
“Is it too late for breakfast, because I want pancakes?”  
   
Tobin gave a huge smile. “Hold that thought.”  
   
They drove for a few minutes Alex talking the whole time about her morning and the guy she works with. Tobin listened intently not wanting to miss anything she said. She liked listening to Alex’s voice, it was a little low and raspy with a cadence that could only be compared to an upbeat song. She didn’t talk fast, it was just jumbled; her thoughts scattered and random but Tobin loved connecting the dots when she would switch to a new topic. She loved sitting in a car with her, Alex would stop mid-sentence and sing random parts of songs playing on the radio, then just continue talking like the break never happened. So yeah maybe Tobin couldn’t make her happy like she was in high school, that didn’t matter, she could make her happy in her own way.  
   
They arrived at random row of stores. Tobin parked and looked over to Alex with her eyebrows raised. “You ready for the best pancakes in the world.”  
   
Alex gave her a strange look. “Where?”  
   
“Come with me.” Tobin got out of the car and ran to the other side to open the door. She held her hand out, she hadn’t noticed that she did it but when Alex placed her hand in Tobin’s she didn’t regret it. Alex’s had was warm and soft and just a little smaller than hers, it fit perfectly and Tobin wanted to hold that had forever.  
   
They walked up the street a little ways and ended up in an alley that Tobin pulled Alex down to the end where there was a door with a little canopy over it. She opened the door and pulled her into the little hole in the wall breakfast house. The place was small with just a six mismatched tables, only half of them full at this time of day. It was lit by hanging lights on the ceiling that twinkled a little bit. She pulled Alex to the far corner and had her sit down in the two person booth with red padded seats and a dark wood table. She looked over at her with her hands cupped together on the table.  
   
“What is this place?” Alex was looking around at all the art on the wall.  
   
Tobin watched her as her eyes moved around unable to stay on one thing at a time. “This place opened up about six months ago. My sister brought me here the morning of graduation. She wanted to talk to me about college and all that stuff. They have the best pancakes ever.”  
   
Still wide eyed Alex looked over to the girl across from her, “Are you and your sister close? I remember you said she helped you before our first date.”  
   
She thought about it for a second. “We use to not be, but we are now. I don’t know growing up I was really focused on soccer, and Perry doesn’t play sports. She and Katie were always together doing this and that, painting each other’s nails and doing each other’s hair. I was always in the backyard kicking the ball around.”  
   
“I know how that is.” Alex admitted reaching out and touching Tobin’s hands. “Jenny and Jeri were always really close, I was kind of always just their little kid sister, following them around, pestering them to play with me. We are really close now. We hang out when they are home.”  
   
Tobin was distracted by Alex pulling her hands apart and tracing small circles in her palm with her finger tips, she almost forgot to reply. “Are they home for the summer?”  
   
“Jenny is.” Alex said without looking up, she was focused on Tobin’s hands. “Jeri is in Illinois with her boyfriend. It’s kind of weird not having them both home, it’s the first summer since they left they haven’t both come home, but I guess I’ll be gone soon too. God that is so strange to think about.”  
   
“Yeah it’s weird to think I won’t be in my house anymore.” Tobin was trying to make good conversations but Alex’s fingers in her palm sent shivers up her spin.  
   
The server came over taking their minds off what they were doing. Sadly it made Alex pull her hands back leaving Tobin to pull hers back too, she missed the feel of Alex’s skin against hers.  
   
The both order pancakes, Tobin got orange juice and Alex got coffee. As the server left Tobin felt Alex’s foot against hers under the table. It occurred to Tobin that no matter what situation they were in Alex found a way to make contact with her. It was comforting.  She would touch her arm when she drove, she played with the buttons on her shirt when they stood together. She always seemed to do it without warning and without missing a beat even though Tobin would go a little crazy each time.  
   
“So have you talked to Kling today?” Alex asked in a concerned tone.  
   
Tobin lowered her head. “No.”  
   
“Tobin Heath, you need to talk to her. She’s your best friend.”  
   
She nodded slowly. “I know. But this is her fault. I don’t know. I’m going to miss soccer tonight which sucks, but whatever.”  
   
“I know it’s her fault, but I still think you should talk to her.” Alex reached her hands across the table.  
   
Tobin looked over and saw her hands on the table, they looked warm and inviting, it was her cue to reach out too so she pulled her hands out from under the table and put them in Alex’s. She felt her squeeze just a little.  
   
 “She is stubborn.” Tobin said under her breath.  
   
“It seems like you are too.” Alex laughed laying one of Tobin’s hands flat on the table and tracing the lines in her palm with her finger. “One of you has to give in. You can’t stay mad forever… How are we supposed to get her and Moe together if you two aren’t friends?”  
   
Tobin laughed a little. “Yeah, you’re right. Not about the Moe thing because I am still unsure about that, but one of us has to talk. I’ll try tomorrow.”  
   
Alex could sense that she wanted to switch to topic. “So what’s this soccer you are talking about?”  
   
This made Tobin pop up with excitement. “It’s a pick-up game in the park on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Chris invited us like two weeks ago and it’s the most fun I have ever had. Soccer has always been this thing for me, it’s always a competition. I’ve never played for fun, not since juniors when they started keeping score, and it was less about kids running around. It’s a bunch of people like twelve, five guys and seven girls and we play six on six. They like to play boys vs girls and we always slam them, except the time I was on the boy’s team, we lost. They are all so good, it’s so cool, pretty much everyone is going to college except Lindsey, she is going pro in France. Pro! Already! My mom would go insane if I was skipping college to play, I think she would kill me, but can you imagine. And there’s this girl, she’s only a junior, Mallory, God that girl can run and score, she’s flashy it’s amazing. And I played keeper, Hope, the real keeper she goes to U-Dub, she is like a cat, like she can get the ball from anywhere, but she wanted  to show off her skills on the pitch so they put me in goal, and I was not that great, but not half bad. Ashlyn, my boss, she plays for Arsenal, she said she would coach me if I wanted to the dark side, but I don’t think so. It’s just awesome. I can play and it doesn’t matter if I mess up. Everyone is so nice and inviting. And Chris. Oh man you should watch her play. She can score from anywhere, and she is so fast she is down the field in a flash. Seriously I have no idea how she does it. I’m glad she’s going to UNC because it is going to be hard to play against her.”  
   
Alex started to laugh.  
   
“What?” Tobin asked confused.  
   
“That’s probably the most I have ever heard you say at once.” Alex was still chuckling to herself. “I usually get like two sentences out of you.”  
   
She lowered her head a little embarrassed, she hadn’t realized she was talking so much, it was just so easy to talk to Alex. “Yeah, I don’t know. I just love soccer.”  
   
“I love soccer too.” She said as she stopped laughing. “I’m glad the pick-up game makes you this happy.”  
   
“Yeah.” She said in a low voice, now a little calmer than before. “You should come out one day.”  
   
Alex lowered her eyebrows. “Maybe one day, but I don’t think it would be good for me to go too soon.”  
   
Tobin tilted her head. “How come?”  
   
“Well you said Christen invited you guys out there.” She played with Tobin’s fingers as she spoke. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to go out there just yet. She is still hurting and I don’t blame her. If you would’ve picked her instead of me I don’t think I could go out and play soccer with you two.”  
   
She bobbed her head up and down almost moving her entire body. “I understand. Well maybe one day.”  
   
“I’d like that.” Alex said squeezing her fingers.  
   
Their food came and they started eating. Alex freely admitted to Tobin that she was right, the pancakes were the best in the entire world. Alex sacrificed one of her fifteen minute breaks to have a forty-five minute lunch so they were in no rush. They talked the whole time Alex told Tobin a little bit about Morgan so she would feel more comfortable with her plan to hook her and Meghan up, still Tobin felt a little weird about it, but that may have been because she wasn’t talking to her best friend at the moment.  
   
As they walked out of the restaurant Alex grabbed Tobin’s hands lacing her fingers in hers. There it was again, the constant contact. The whole time they ate Alex never moved her foot from sitting next to Tobin’s under the table. Tobin may have never had a girlfriend before, but she was growing to like it… a lot.  
   
They got in the car and headed back to the store. Alex had put her hand over and grabbed the sleeve of Tobin’s shirt, she wasn’t tugging it just holding it in her hand gently as they drove, her hand bumping up against Tobin’s arm the entire time.  
   
They pulled into the parking lot and Tobin quickly got out of the car and jogged around the front to open the door for Alex. She stood up straight with a smile on her face as Alex got out the car.  
   
“Thank you for going to lunch with me.” Alex said leaning against the now closed car door.  
   
“Anytime.” Tobin said pushing her hands in her pockets nervously, she knew what was about to happen and even though they had done it several times it still made her a little anxious. “I hope you have a better day.”  
   
Alex groaned. “I doubt it. I volunteered to work overtime.”  
   
“Gross, why’d you do that?” Tobin joked.  
   
“The money.” Alex sighed. “I want to save up as much as possible so I don’t have to get a full time job in Cali. My parents are nice but they are not give me random amounts of money nice. Besides I don’t want to have to rely on them the whole time you know.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head. “Yeah I get it. I’ll probably get something part time, like one of those desk jobs that I can study the whole time. You know kill two birds with one stone.”  
   
“Don’t kill birds.” she laughed and gave her a little slap on the shoulder. “Yeah I was thinking of doing that too. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out when I get there.”  
   
“Sounds like a solid plan.” Tobin was rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.  
   
Alex slapped her hand down on Tobin’s shoulder. “Well until then I have to go sell some pens. Thanks again.” She leaned and kissed her.  
   
She knew it was coming yet she was still caught off guard. Alex’s lips were so soft against hers. Why did it make her so nervous? Where was confident Tobin from last night? She put her hand up and let it rest gently on Alex’s waist. She could do this. She had kissed Alex several times now, she could defiantly do this. Right as she got comfortable Alex pulled away.  
   
She smiled with her eyes closed. “Well I should get inside.”  
   
“Yeah, okay.” Tobin’s eyes fluttered open.  
   
Alex leaned in and planted another quick kiss on her lips. “Text me later.”  
   
“I will.” Tobin said.  
   
Tobin stood as Alex walked away. Before she got to the door Alex looked back at her and gave a wave, Tobin waved back with a goofy smile on her face. Yeah she could get use to this whole girlfriend thing.  
   
The rest of her afternoon was spent looking through Alex’s photos on Facebook. She felt a little weird just going through someone’s pictures but every once and a while she would go back to the message on her feed: **You are now in a relationship with Alex Morgan** The status had already been liked and commented on. Tobin went through and read the comments.  
   
**Morgan Brian:** Wooo! I am liking this.  
**Julie Johnson:** What?! This is awesome.  
**Sydney Leroux:** Never would have guessed! *thumbs up*  
**Kelley O’Hara:** So you’re telling me I never stood a chance with Tobin?  
**Amy Rodriguez:** Good choice Lex!  
   
Almost the entire soccer team had either commented or liked it. Alex was popular so she shouldn’t expect it not to get some attention. Tobin just never thought of people thinking it was a good idea. She was weird, and never spoke more than a few words to everyone on the status, yet they seemed to think Alex was making a good choice with being with her. She remembered Alex telling her that the entire team knew she was gay, maybe they had talked about her before, like more than trying to discern her sexuality. Maybe they had really discussed her before. There wasn’t much to talk about, she didn’t do anything. Still everyone was liking the status and saying nice things about it.  
   
As she looked through the names on the list of people who liked the status she got a friend request. She clicked on the little person shape button, it was Morgan Brian. Tobin clicked accept. It only made sense that her girlfriends best friend would want to be her friend too. Holy Shit! Her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. She repeated the phrases in her head a few times. She had already settled it in her head this morning, the fact that she had a girlfriend, but it was nice to say it, it was nice to think of Alex that way, as her girlfriend.  
   
She looked at the time. It was almost seven, almost time for the pickup game. All the happiness she had about Alex kind of just drained out of her. It was hard to be happy without her best friend. If Meghan was here she would be going nonstop about Alex the whole time. Well that’s if she was done being a jerk about the whole thing. What was her deal? Why couldn’t she just be happy? Tobin was happy, well she was a second ago. She was dating Alex Morgan for God sakes, they had talked about this since the eighth damn grade. Why did she have to be such a jerk?  
   
Tobin got up off the couch and went into the back yard. She starting kicking the ball into the net. She kicked all three balls she had then ran and got them from the back of the net. Why was Meghan such an asshole? She kicked them again from a different angle. She could have been playing soccer with her friends right now. She went as far back as she could in her back yard and launched the balls into the net. Why did she have to be the bigger person, she didn’t do anything? She jogged up and put the balls in the left corner kicking them into the net. Why couldn’t Meghan just grow up?  
   
Before she knew it she had been out there for almost two hours, kicking the ball around. Her mom had come home and let Striker into the yard and Tobin kicked the ball around him a few times, but he was a bad defender. It wasn’t like playing with Meghan who would challenge her, make her use her skills. It wasn’t the same without her best friend.  
   
She went inside and clicked on the television. Lucky for her the New York Red Bulls were playing the Los Angeles Galaxy, she could focus on that.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Christen and Meghan were early to the field, they sat down at the edge of the field and started lacing up their cleats. Christen wasn’t talking, she had been the whole car ride, but whenever they got to the field she went silent staring off into the distance. Meghan watched her for a few seconds before she decided to figure out what was going on.  
   
“What are you thinking about?” Meghan asked as she put on her left shoe.  
   
Christen looked over to her and made an attempt to smile. “Nothing.”  
   
“It’s gotta be something.” They had been talking for almost a week, sharing thoughts and ideas, what was making her clam up now.  
   
Looking down taking heavy interest in the bow she was tying in her shoe lace Christen spoke up. “Do you think everyone will ask why Tobin isn’t here again?”  
   
“Probably.” She hadn’t thought about people asking why her best friend was missing. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. No one knows about you two, well except Hope.”  
   
“Yeah.” The forward stood up quickly and started to kick the ball around the field.  
   
Meghan watched her kick around switching from one foot to another. Christen was clearly upset, she could tell by the way she played. It was like that on Tuesday too. Christen was off her game. They had made an excuse for Tobin saying she had family stuff but Meghan could tell it made the sad forward a little uncomfortable to lie about the situation. Christen was a good person, honest to a fault and her game was affected by the whole thing. Meghan was going to have to take care of this Tobin thing, it was the only way to make Christen feel better, and even though she would never admit it, it was the only way to make herself feel better.  
   
Eventually the group showed up in ones and twos all happy and hyped up. It wasn’t until almost everyone was there that someone even mentioned Tobin’s absences.  
   
“Where’s Tobs?” Mallory asked.  
   
Christen lowered her head. There was no way she was going to be able to say anything so Meghan took the lead.  
   
“We’re in a fight.” Meghan said simply. “And I won custody of Chris.” Everyone looked over to her with wide eyes. “Tobin is being an ass right now so she doesn’t get to play soccer. We will see how she feels next week.”  
   
Meghan could tell everyone wanted to ask question, figure out why they were fighting but Hope spoke up for everyone. “Well tell her to get her shit together, I need someone to actually challenge me on this field.”  
   
Lindsey threw a ball in Hopes direction. “Oh you need challenge? I’ll give you a challenge.”  
   
The game went on without any more questions. Jozy was still recovering from the bug he had so he was content to play referee so the teams could be even. Before the game had started Christen had put her hand on Meghan’s shoulder, it was a silent thank you for taking the all the attention off of her and making Tobin’s absence all about her. They were on the same team and they matched up well. Christen played a little back to make up for the missing midfielder which made Meghan more comfortable, she was missing Tobin, she was missing having her friend there, watching her play, watching her nutmeg people and the huge smile that came on her face. She was upset with her, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want her around.  
   
After the game everyone sat in a circle taking off their cleats and talking trash back and forth. Every time someone would say something about a skill on the ball Meghan found herself looking up for Tobin, but of course she wasn’t there. She missed her more than she realized. Christen was amazing, one of the best people she had ever met, but she wasn’t Tobin.  
   
“So there is a National Team game going on in two weeks.” Hope announced. “I think we, and when I say we I mean all the girls, should go to it. They are playing in Boston, that’s only like a three hour drive. One of my friends sister works for a hotel up there and she can get us a suite, like five bedrooms five bathrooms, full kitchen and living room for two days for only $750, divided by the six of us that’s only $125 a piece, plus tickets are like $100, everyone can chip in like $25 for gas and snacks and everyone can go for like $250.”  
   
“Wo! Why can’t we go?” Clint asked with an attitude.  
   
Hope threw the ball at him. “You can if you want, you’re just not rooming with us. I had a hard enough time convincing Little Bit’s mom to let her go. If she hears boys are coming she is going to snatch her away and never let her back out.”  
   
“Yeah.” Mallory laughed. “She is making Hope FaceTime her like ten times a day.”  
   
“Wo.” Lindsey said mimicking Clint’s voice. “You asked Little Bit before all of us?”  
   
Hope chuckled. “I had to make sure she could go before I made the plans. We can’t leave our under age friend behind.”  
   
Everyone started to crack up. After a few minutes of making fun of Mallory for being so young everyone agreed to go to the game. Christen agreed to get her dads SUV so they could all go in one vehicle.  
   
“Hey Kling should we just count Tobin in, or should I text her?” Hope asked with a smile.  
   
Meghan looked down at the grass for a second. She and Tobin had already talked about going to the game, they even made a plan to ask Ashlyn for that Saturday off since the game was on a Friday night. There was no way Tobin would turn down going to the game, but she question whether or not she wanted to go with her anymore.  
   
“I would count her in.” Christen spoke up. “Tobin wouldn’t miss a national team game.”  
   
Nervous about it all Meghan played with her fingers. “Yeah I would count her in.”  
   
“Are you two going to be done fighting by then?” Sam asked playfully.  
   
Meghan laughed a little. “Yeah I think so.” She paused for a second.  
   
 “I’m not sure if she’ll want to bring Alex though.” Christen said out of nowhere.  
   
“Wo, wait, who’s Alex?” Lindsey asked.  
   
Meghan looked over to Christen, why did she say anything? Everyone was waiting for an answer and Christen had a look on her face like she was regretting speaking so Meghan spoke up. “Alex is Tobin’s girlfriend.”  
   
“What!” Sam called out. “Tobin has a girlfriend.”  
   
“Oh I am so looking her up.” Lindsey said taking out her phone. As she went through her Facebook, Sam, Mallory and a few of the guys gathered around. “Alex Morgan?” she looked over to Meghan who gave nod. “Damn!”  
   
“Wow, that’s Tobin’s girlfriend?” Clint called out.  
   
“No way.” Lindsey said as she scrolled through photos.  
   
“Damn, Tobby did good.” Bobby nodded his head.  
   
Meghan could tell Christen was getting uncomfortable. She had no idea why she would say anything about Alex. That would have been the last thing Meghan would have brought up. I mean, yeah so she was right, Tobin would probably want Alex to go with them, but that could have been said later on, and not by Christen.  
   
It was Hope that finally stopped the gang from creeping. “Okay let’s stop objectifying women.” She pushed everyone away from Lindsey’s phone and made them sit in their original spots. “So if Tobin wants to bring Alex that’ll make it even cheaper. Tickets go on sale Monday so everyone give me a 100% yes by Sunday night and I will put all the tickets on my card that way we can all get seats together, then you guys just give me cash.”  
   
“Okay, just no seats behind the goal, I don’t want to stare Briana Scurry’s ass the entire game.” Lindsey joked.  
   
“You would be lucky to stare at Scurry’s ass.” Hope commented with a smile.  
   
The team disbanded after a few more minutes of talking and hammering out details for their trip. Meghan and Christen walked towards the car by themselves. Christen was quite, she just adjusted her bag on her shoulder a few times. As they got in the car Meghan had to figure it out.  
   
“Why did you mention Alex?” the question came out soft, not angry or accusing, just asking.  
   
Christen was staring straight ahead at the road. “Because I can’t avoid her. I want to be Tobin’s friend. If I can’t be with her at least I can be her friend, and that means eventually I will have to deal with Alex.”  
   
“Yeah but not yet.” Meghan snapped. “I just mean, Tobin doesn’t have to bring her to the game. She’s not even a part of the group.”  
   
Christen frowned. “You two weren’t part of the group a few weeks ago. Look, if you tell me right now that Alex is a horrible person and she is going to cause nothing but trouble and I will tell Hope not to let her come to the game.”  
   
She sunk down into her seat and crossed her arms. How was she supposed to say that about Alex? The girl was actually really nice. It wasn’t Alex she had a problem with, it was Tobin dating her. In the back of her mind Meghan wanted to tell Christen that Alex was awful, but that wouldn’t make it better. None of this was Alex’s fault, and Christen was right, they would eventually run into each other.  
   
Meghan huffed. “Alex is actually a really nice person.”  
   
“See.” Christen gave her a little smile. “Don’t get me wrong I wish she was a bitch because then I could hate her, but I don’t think Tobin would date someone like that. Alex didn’t do anything wrong, she likes Tobin, no one can blame her for that. If I want to be Tobin’s friend than I am going to have to get over this and get use to Alex.”  
   
Meghan relaxed a little bit. “You are a better person than me.”  
   
Christen flashed her a huge smile. “I know.”  
   
   
\--  
   
Tobin was sitting on the couch, she had made a giant sandwich at half time, one she would normally share with Meghan and that made her a little sad. The game was good, ending 2-0 in favor of The Red Bulls which made her a little happy, but still she missed her best friend, and she missed playing soccer with the group. She was going to have to figure this out before Tuesday, she was not going to miss another game. As the interviews started with the team Tobin felt her phone buzz in her pocket, it was Alex.  
   
-I hate my job.-  
   
Tobin sat up on the couch. –Bad day?-  
   
-The worst. I shouldn’t have worked overtime. Fuck the Money!-  
   
An idea popped in her head, something that could make her feel better and Alex feel better. –Where are you?-  
   
-About to walk out the store-  
   
-Stay there I am coming to get you.-  
   
Tobin ran up to her room and put on a pair of jeans. She headed downstairs and told her mom she was heading out and would probably be back a little late. On the way she questioned whether her plan was a good one, then she remembered that she didn’t have much of a choice now that she was headed out, so she just continued to drive until she made it to the parking lot where Alex was leaning against her car.  
   
“Alex Morgan.” Tobin shouted as she hopped out of her car.  
   
Alex looked over to her and giggled. “Tobin Heath.”  
   
Tobin went to the other side of the car and opened the door signaling for Alex to get in.  
   
“Where're we going?” Alex asked as she got in the car.  
   
She shut the door and went over to the drivers side. Tobin gave her a huge grin. “Ice Cream.”  
   
“Tobin Heath, it’s almost eleven at night. No ice cream place is open at this time.”  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows in an attempt to look serious. “Do you trust me?”  
   
Her serious voice made Alex chuckle. “Yes.”  
   
“Then shhhh.” Tobin put the car in drive and took off.  
   
As they drove Alex starting talking about her day and why she was so upset. Her job sucked and her boss was the worst person she had ever met, but the money was good so she decided to forgo quitting for now. Tobin listened intently as she drove them out of the city and down the highway. It was about thirty minutes before the reached their first destination, a gas station.  
   
“You drove me to a gas station?” Alex looked over to the store.  
   
“Trust.” Tobin said quickly.  
   
Alex put her hands in the air, whatever Tobin had planned she was just going to have to go along with it. Tobin got out the car and walked around to open the passengers door so Alex could get out. As they walked into the store Alex hooked her arm in Tobin’s hugging it close. Tobin pulled her to the back of the store to the frozen section where she opened the frosty door to the ice cream.  
   
“Pick one.” She said happily.  
   
Alex looked in, her finger pressed against her lips. She reached in and grabbed ‘Chunky Monkey’ and presented it to Tobin.  
   
“Really?” Tobin asked in a low voice.  
   
“You can’t go wrong with Chunky Monkey.” Alex smiled.  
   
“Fine.” Tobin closed the door and took Alex up to the counter.  
   
She paid for the ice cream and asked the worker for two spoons. As they left Alex was confused to be taken back to the car, she figured they would eat at the table outside, but Tobin had other plans. The drive to their next destination didn’t take long which was good because Tobin refused to let Alex touch the ice cream while they were driving.  
   
They pulled into a random field it was almost pitch black besides the head lights of Tobin’s car which she turned off as they arrived and some lights in the distance. The car was set in the middle of now where overlooking what looked like a fenced in area with a huge building inside. Tobin got out the car and rushed over to the other side where she let Alex out the car and instructed her to sit on the hood.  
   
“Tobin what are we doing here?” She asked noticing it was almost too dark to see out there.  
   
Tobin took out her phone clicking it on and looking at the time. “Give it a second.”  
   
Right as Alex was about to ask what she was talking about a light appeared. She looked over and saw a giant fire burning in the top of the building in front of them. It was coming straight up from the top of the building like a rocket. As she was about turn the flame turned blue for a few second then turned back a pale orange white.  
   
“What is this?” Alex asked her eyes glued to the flames.  
   
Tobin smiled. “It’s a metal processing plant. They take recycled metal and turn it into alloys and different stuff. When they burn the metals the fire turns whatever color they are burning at the time. The blue was a copper oxide.”  Suddenly the flame turned a bright white with a silver tent. “That was titanium.”  
   
Alex looked over at her, the light of the flames dancing in her eyes. “This is amazing.”  
   
Tobin’s eyes got wide, she reached behind her and got the ice cream and the two spoon. “And now it’s even better.”  
   
They sat there eating ice cream and watching the flames change colors. Every time a new color would appear Tobin would name the element that would cause the color. She would tell Alex what she considered to be a cool fact about elements or about fire. Surprisingly Tobin knew a lot about both topics. Alex who skipped the majority of her chemistry classes and somehow talked her way into a C in the class had no idea about the majority of things that she was talking about but she enjoyed listening to her talk.  
   
As the ice cream was finished they blamed each other for eating the all of it, then leaned back against the windshield and watched the fire burning. They laid flat on their backs side by side, Alex had scooted her arm over so they were just barely touching.  
   
“Are we totally Jersey for sitting in a field watching a metal processing plant?” Alex asked.  
   
Tobin started to laugh. “Yeah we might be. Normal people watch the stars and all that crap, we watch fire.”  
   
“Totally Jersey.” Alex laughed.  
   
“Totally Jersey.” She settled her breathing. “My uncle use to take me out here when I was younger and I had a bad day. He was a fire fighter. He use to tell me all these crazy stories about fires and the station house. He would let me sleep in the station every once and a while, it was so awesome. I actually wanted to be a fire fighter when I was younger.”  
   
Alex turned her head to look at her. “That’s so cute.”  
   
Tobin just looked ahead. “Yeah, he was the best…” she swallowed hard. “He passed away when I was twelve, he had lung cancer.”  
   
“I know.” Alex said grabbing her hand. Tobin looked over at her with a questioning look. “Your dad came to the school and told coach what happened. It was your mom’s brother right? Coach told us all to be extra nice to you because he was like a second dad to you.”  
   
   
“Did he really?” she was squeezing Alex’s hand tight.  
   
Nodding her head slowly Alex squeezed back. “Yeah. I actually wanted to invite you over to my house to sleep over, but I chickened out. You and Meghan were always so close, and after that you two got even closer, she wouldn’t let anyone talk to you.”  
   
Tobin’s eyes looked out into the distance. “Yeah she really took care of me. She always takes care of me.”  
   
“And she always will.” Alex reached over and put her hand gently on Tobin’s cheek. “And now you have me.”  
   
Alex’s voice was low, almost a whisper. Tobin watched as the flames danced in her eyes. Her hand was warm against her cheek, she was so caught up in the feel of her skin on hers she barely felt Alex pull her forward, she barely noticed herself lean in. As their lips met Tobin felt a chill run down her body, she reached her hand up and rested it on Alex’s waist. She felt Alex part her lips just a little deepening the kiss, that was new and Tobin just tried to follow her lead. This was the first time their kiss had lasted more than a few seconds, the first time it wasn’t just their lips pressed together, but them actually kissing, moving their lips just a bit.  
   
 Alex was the one to pull back and give a smile. Before Tobin had the chance to move Alex scooted closer to her and laid her head on Tobin’s chest, wrapping her arm around Tobin’s waist. This made the nervous girl's heart beat quickly, but she did her breathing techniques to stop her heart from exploding in her chest. They stayed like that for a while. Alex was warm, her hair tickling Tobin’s chin whenever she moved her head. Tobin eventually put her arm on Alex’s back, just a little, she was afraid to hold to tight, or too weak, or at all so she just tried to be as even as possible.  Alex was talking a bit here and there, Tobin couldn’t really focus on anything that wasn’t her trying not to breathe too heavy, or not at all, so her responses were simple. After a while Alex’s phone buzzed in her pocket taking them out of their little world.  
   
“Uh, my mom is looking for me.” Alex said sitting up. “I guess I should get home it is almost 1:30 in the morning.”  
   
Tobin sat up with her, she missed the feel of Alex laying against her. “Yeah I should get you back to your car.”  
   
As Tobin got off the hood, she helped Alex off. They stood close together Alex touched the sleeve of her shirt, taking it between her fingers just a little bit. She was looking down. “Thanks for this. You made a crappy day way better.”  
   
“That’s what girlfriends do… right?” she answered with excitement.  
   
Alex looked up at her. “Right.” She gave her a quick kiss then smiled as big as she could.  
   
They got in the car and Tobin started driving home. For the first time, she was the one to talk. She told Alex all about her uncle and the rest of her family. She was comfortable, no longer nervous to share with her, no longer afraid of saying something stupid. She just wanted to talk to her, and Alex was a great listener. She didn’t even notice how quickly they had gotten back to the empty parking lot outside the store.  
   
They stood outside the car Tobin had her back against the door and Alex was standing in front of her. They hadn’t said anything since they got out the car. Alex had her head down looking away, she started to tap her finger on Tobin’s chest just below her shoulder.  
   
“I like you Tobin Heath.” She said, with every word she tapped her.  
   
Tobin laughed a little bit. “I like you too.”  
   
“Yeah, but you’ve never done this before.” Alex said looking up at her. She put her hand on her shoulder. “You are new to this.”  
   
“True.” Tobin responded a little confused.  
   
A little nervous Alex looked past her to the empty lot. “You’re first day has gone… super well.”  
   
“Why thank you.” Tobin smiled.  
   
“I…” Alex’s voice was a little shaky. “I tend to move too quickly.” She slid her hand down Tobin’s arm and grabbed her hand. “I will move quickly with you… because you are amazing, and I won't be able to help myself. So I need you to slow me down.”  
   
Tobin held on to the hand in hers. “I don’t understand.”  
   
“Just make sure I move at your pace.” She looked her in the eyes. “I never want to rush you, make you do anything you're uncomfortable with.”  
   
“You’re not.” She told her sincerely. “I am comfortable, don’t worry.”  
   
She took a breath, loud enough for Tobin to hear the shakiness in it. “You told me in Five Guys that you have been waiting for this. I have too. Tobin I have been waiting for this for a long time and I don’t want to mess it up.”  
   
“You can’t mess this up.”  
   
“I can, and I will, so don’t let me. Okay?”  
   
Tobin had no idea what she meant, but she could tell Alex needed her to tell her that everything was okay. With all the confidence she had Tobin leaned in and kissed her, bringing her hand up to her cheek and pulling her a little closer. She kissed her, parting her lips just a little, the way she did on the car. She wanted Alex to have confidence in her, she wanted her to know that she wasn’t going to let anything happen to what they were creating together.  
   
As the kiss broke Tobin let her hand fall and grab ahold of Alex's hand. "I won't let you mess anything up, I promise."

Almost like she was relieved to hear the words Alex laid her head on Tobin's shoulder putting her arms around her and holding her close. "You're kind of the best, you know."

"Well, it is just my first day... get back to me in couple of weeks."

Alex started to laugh. She lifted her head to see a dorky smile on Tobin's face, she was so pleased with her joke. Alex quickly kissed her but neither of them could keep it because they were both smiling and laughing. 

Pushing back on Tobin's shoulder, Alex took a few steps away, but she kept her hand in her girlfriends. She looked down shyly biting her bottom lip, through lashes she looked over to Tobin. "Okay I better get going."

Nodding her head Tobin gave the soft hand in hers one last squeeze. "Okay, I'll let you go."

Alex looked over at the big brown eyes staring back at her, she quickly closed the gap between them and captured Tobin's lips in hers. She had to do it one more time. She didn't open her eyes right after, she just whispered, "Text me when you get home."

"Will do." Tobin said as if she was answering an order.

Again Alex pushed off her but didn't let go of her hand until the last second possible. 

Tobin watched her get in her car, she stood leaning against her own car as Alex set herself up, putting music on from her phone, and putting the car in gear. She gave her a little wave just before she drove off. Tobin watched for a second as Alex's car headed for the exit of the parking lot. She wanted to wait because she didn't want Alex to see her do a tiny celebration in the parking lot. She couldn't have Alex witness her hold her arms out like a air plane and run around her car as if she had just scored the winning goal in a championship game. That's how she felt, like she had just one the best game, the only game that mattered. She was making Alex happy and that's all that mattered.  
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to read some awesome Preath stuff then do not read the next chapter. If you do then go ahead and click that button.
> 
> let me know how you are liking (or hating) it. Especially if you are reading both parts, tell me what you think about the contrast in stories.
> 
> Thanks for the love!!!


	12. Power Team (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin gets a pep talk from her friends. Christen gets a much needed talking to from Meghan. Alex and Morgan join the pick-up game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next chapter in the Preath part. If you are looking for Talex you have gone too far, go back and read the previous chapter. If you want some awkward Preath action, then get to reading.
> 
> As always ignore those typos, I have no clue how they got in there. And thanks for the love.

“So what now?” Tobin was laying across her bed, face down and buried in a pillow. “Is there any other way I can look like a fool?”  
   
Meghan jumped on her back making Tobin groan loudly. She set her elbows on her back and her chin in her hands. “You didn’t look like a fool.”  
   
Alex sat down on the bed putting her feet up and laying back on the pillows. “Yeah she didn’t even know it was supposed to be a date. I think you are in the clear.”  
   
“Great.” Tobin’s shouts were muffled by the pillow. “I should give up.”  
   
Meghan pressed her elbow into the space between her shoulder blade and spine. “Dude, you tried like once. I think Chris deserves more than just one weird miss understanding.”  
   
“She was really cool at the movies. I mean she sat next to you and everything.” Alex gave her a little slap on the arm.  
   
Tobin peeked out from the pillow. “She did, didn’t she?”  
   
“Yeah, dude, I think that’s a good sign.” Meghan dropped her elbows and let her head rest on Tobin’s back. “I think you should try again.”  
   
“Yeah and make it clear that it’s a date.” Alex added in. “That way there is no confusion.”  
   
The distraught girl nodded her head. “Yeah, maybe I’ll ask on Sunday.”  
   
“There you go champ.” Alex said happily. “You got this.”  
   
“And don’t worry Tobs, we got your back.” She said directly into her back.  
   
The entire night was not a total disaster like Tobin was making it out to be. They had returned to the line after consoling Tobin behind the building. Together, Meghan and Alex made small talk making sure Tobin didn’t have to say much. In the theater they bought popcorn and drinks then went to pick their seats. Christen sat next to Tobin in the middle, no one had to push her or suggest it she just did. During the movie their arms had touched a few times but Christen didn’t seem to make a big deal out of it. After the movie Meghan suggested they all go get ice cream like the plan had been but Lindsey had to work super early in the morning and Christen was her ride, so they took off. Tobin didn’t much feel like ice cream so they drove back to Tobin’s house to sulk.  
   
“Well I should probably get home.” Alex said looking down at her phone. “Kling do you want me to drop you off at your car?”  
   
Meghan looked over to Tobin who now seemed a lot better than before. As much as she didn’t want to leave her friend, it was probably better to give her a little space to think through everything. “Yeah, that be great. You going to be okay Tobs?”  
   
Looking up to her friend who was still happily perched on back. “Yeah, I’m good.”  
   
“Call me if you need me to come back, k?” Meghan jumped up off Tobin.  
   
Flipping over she gave a half smile. “K.”  
   
Meghan and Alex walked out the room together leaving Tobin to sulk on her own. They quickly said good night to Tobin’s mom who was still up in the living room watching TV, and then got into Alex’s car to head back to the theater where they left Meghan’s car.  
   
“Is she going to be okay?” Alex asked as she pulled out the driveway.  
   
Nodding her head enthusiastically she grinned. “Oh yeah. I am going to take care of it.”  
   
Alex looked over to her. “What do you mean?”  
   
Meghan was hesitant to let Alex in on the plan. She and Christen had an unspoken agreement to not tell anyone about trying to get her and Tobin together, but what was the harm in telling Alex? Maybe she could help, after all Alex was more experienced with this type of stuff, she had dated before and she knew a lot more about everything.  
   
“I have to tell you something… a secret… something you can’t tell anyone.” Her voice was low but excited.  
   
Alex gave her a strange look. “Uh-okay.”  
   
“Christen is totally crazy about Tobin.” She was almost shouting.  
   
“What do you mean?” Alex turned for a second to look at her before looking back at the road.  
   
“Christen likes Tobin, like a lot. She saw her play a couple of games when she moved here.” Meghan paused and took a breath. “Wait, let me explain everything. Christen moved here with her family after last semester. She graduated early and came to Jersey before she heads off to college. Well, anyway, she was bored and she wanted to watch some soccer so she went to our games and she saw Tobin. She worked at The Pitch and saw Tobin there too a few times but was always too scared to talk to her. Then when Tobs and I started working there she got all excited. We eat lunch together all the time, Chris and I, and she told me she like Tobin so I told her I would help because clearly Tobin likes her too. Then when Tobin went on that date with you she freaked out a bit, but it’s okay because now you two are just friends. I don’t think Chris realized Tobin was asking her out because she is still a little insecure about the whole thing. But don’t worry because I am going to slap some sense into her tomorrow.”  
   
“Holy crap.” Alex said trying to process everything the excited girl had said in an incredibly fast pace. “So you and Christen have been scheming to get her and Tobin together.”  
   
“Don’t say scheming, it makes it sound dirty.” She scrounged her nose up a bit at the word. “Tobin likes Christen, I could tell from the first time she saw her, and Chris likes Tobin a lot. I think they would be perfect together so I’ve been trying to get them to stop being losers and just talk to each other. They are both nervous wrecks around each other so they have never just sat down and said they liked each other.”  
   
“But you know for sure they like each other?” Alex asked finally understanding the whole thing.  
   
Meghan nodded her head enthusiastically. “Yup I know for sure they both want to be together.”  
   
“So now we need to meddle.”  Alex suddenly had a huge smile on her face. “I am so down to meddle.”  
   
She didn’t expect Alex to react that way, but Meghan was happy to finally have some real help with the complicated situation. “So I am going to talk to Chris tomorrow. You come to soccer and we will figure it all out.”  
   
“Soccer?” she lowered her eyebrows.  
   
“Yeah we play a pick-up game every Tuesday and Thursday at seven.”  
   
Alex nodded her head and idea popping in her head. “Okay, I’ll bring Moe.”  
   
“Oh, yeah… Moe… yeah that would be cool.” Meghan answered feeling a little nervous.  
   
“We are getting those two goof balls together tomorrow.” Alex said in a happy voice.  
   
“Hell Yeah.”  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Meghan woke up early than her normal time. She actually set an alarm, something she rarely did, but she needed to get to The Pitch and talk to Christen before Tobin woke up and ask her to come over. She had texted her best friend for a few hour last night, Alex was put into a group chat whenever Tobin had a mini freak out, then Morgan Brian was brought into the conversation and Meghan had a mini freak out.  
   
It had been months since the last time that she talked to Morgan, and even then she was freaking out a bit. Then at the store buying clothes, just hanging out like it was nothing, that was one of the hardest things she had to do. Morgan just did things to her, she made her heart beat faster, her palm start to sweat, all the words in her head just disappeared. The only time she had a successful conversation with her was the day she turned down her invitation to the last soccer party of the year and that was not the best impression. Morgan was coming to the soccer game tonight, which meant Meghan was going to have to figure out a way to talk to her. But for now she needed to focus on Christen and Tobin.  
   
She got ready quickly, she was going to meet Tobin for a morning workout so she didn’t need to do anything crazy beforehand. She got in her car and drove to The Pitch, she got there right before it opened and knocked on the door.  
   
Christen was at the front counter going over her checklist when she heard the knock at the door. She looked over and saw Meghan waving eagerly at the door.  
   
“What are you doing here?” Christen asked as she let the short happy girl in.  
   
Pushing past Christen she responded. “I am here to see you and talk to you about being dumb.”  
   
“Who’s dumb?” she turned around and raised an eyebrow. “You or me?”  
   
“You… well both of us, but right now it’s you.” She pointed her finger at her, “Dude what the hell?”  
   
Christen chuckled a bit at the question. “What are you talking about?”  
   
“Last night.” She crossed her arms. “Last night with you and Tobin… dude that was supposed to be a date and you messed it all up.”  
   
“What, no!” Christen took a step back and shook her head. “That was not a date.”  
   
Meghan lowered her head and looked up at with lowered eyebrows. “Yeah it wasn’t a date because you brought Lindsey and that made Tobin panic and force me and Alex come with you guys.”  
   
“No, she specifically said ‘Kling and I are going to a movie.’” Christen tried to recall all the details of Tobin asking her to the movies. “I heard her say you were going.”  
   
That was the mix up. “No she said we were talking about a movie. She didn't mean that I would be there."

Christen was beginning to freak out. "Then why did she mention you."

"She was nervous Chris.” Meghan shouted  
   
“No.” she put her hands on her head. “No, that wasn’t a date. No. No. No. It couldn’t have been. No.” her eyes got wide. “Oh God it was supposed to be a date. I messed it up. Kling, she asked me out and I missed it.”  
   
Now Meghan could be calm. “Yup you messed it up big time, but it’s okay.”  
   
“It is?” Her voice was rushed almost desperate. “Is she going to ask me out again?”  
   
“Nope.” A huge grin came across her face. “You are going to ask her out.”  
   
“What.” Nervous she took a step back. “I can’t do that.”  
   
Meghan moved closer to her. “Oh yes you can. Tobin is not going to ask again, she was devastated. Alex and I talk to her last night, she was freaked out. She says she is going to ask again, but she won’t, I know her."

Upset by the words Christen tired to take deep breaths, her face was twisted in confusion.

Meghan put her hand on Christen's shoulder. "I'm sorry dude, but you have to get it together. Do you know how hard it was for her to ask in the first place? It’s your turn now Press, you need to ask her on a date.”  
   
Christen could feel her heart beating in her chest. She had messed it up, it was her nerves, her insecurity, her complete lack of ability to read when someone was interested in her. Tobin had done her best to babble her way through asking her on a date and Christen had taken it the wrong way. She knew Tobin a little now, she could tell she was nervous when she asked her to the movies, the girl said Wednesday like ten times in one minute, but she assumed it was just normal Tobin stuff. No matter how she tried to play it out in her head, she had messed it up and now it was her job to fix it. That fact didn’t stop her from almost hyperventilating.  
   
“I don’t know how to do that.” Christen said in an airy voice. “I have never asked anyone out before. My ex asked me and even then I had to like breathe into a brown paper bag before I said yes.”  
   
Meghan pushed her hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. “Dude, you don’t have a choice. If you want to be with Tobin you need to ask her out… tonight.”  
   
“Tonight?” she almost screamed the word. “Why tonight?”  
   
“If you let anytime pass between this disaster and actually fixing it Tobin will panic.” She pressed down on her shoulders. “Listen to me Chris… Tobin will panic… you need to do it tonight after the game.”  
   
Christen shook her head. “I can’t do that. I need time. I need to plan. I need to figure things out. I need to find words. I need to think about it. There is no way I can do it. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. Kling there is just no way.”  
   
Quickly Meghan slapped the panicking girl across the face. “Calm down.”  
   
“Did you just slap me?” she held her hand on her cheek. She looked over to Meghan and reached out and pinched her on the arm.  
   
“Ow, damn.” She held her arm where she was pinched. “You need to calm down. I have a plan. We have a plan.”  
   
“Who’s we.” Christen was still holding her face.  
   
“Me and Alex.” Meghan said with a scowl still on her face. “Alex is super cool and she really wants you two to be together.”  
   
“Yeah she seemed really cool at the movies.” She leaned against the floor length window in the front of the store. “I honestly thought she would be horrible, but she’s awesome. I don’t know if that makes me mad or not.”  
   
“Why would it make you mad? Alex and Tobin are friends now, and she is putting a lot of energy into helping you two get together.”  
   
Christen smiled. “Damn that means I have to be her friend. She’s so cool, no wonder Tobin liked her so much.”  
   
Meghan went over and leaned on the window next to her. “Yeah Alex is dope. But Tobin likes you, she wants to be with you, something you would have known if you weren’t a big dummy.”  
   
Quickly Christen moved her hand over and hit Meghan in the chest causing her to cough then laugh. “What’s the plan, dork?”  
   
“Alex and Morgan are coming to the game tonight. You and Tobin need to be on the same team, we will make that happen. After the game, you need to ask her out.” She emphasizing her points with her hands. “Just go up to her and say, ‘Tobin would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow?’”  
   
Christen looked over at her. “Tomorrow?”  
   
“Yes, gives you both less time to panic, plus you are both off. Tobin will get all her energy out during no soccer Friday.” She gave her a quick slap to the arm. “Don’t interrupt me. You will ask and Tobs will say ‘Uh-yeah-okay.’” She said in her best Tobin voice. “Then you will say ‘Great we are going to Insert appropriate date location’. And she’ll say, ‘Sounds good.’ Then you will say ‘I’ll pick you up at Insert appropriate time’. Then she’ll say ‘Uh-you want to pick me up? Oh-okay.’ Then you say ‘Cool, **It’s a date**.  
   
Now a little more relaxed Christen started to giggle. “How do you know she will say all that?”  
   
“She’s my best friend.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I know her.”  
   
Christen was playing with her fingers nervously. She took a deep breath and turned her head so she could just see the girl standing next to her. “Okay. I’ll do it.”  
   
   
-  
   
   
Tobin sat on her porch waiting for her best friend to show up for training. She had a long night, most of which she spent with her face buried in a pillow where she let out low groans. The night had not gone as planned and if that wasn’t embarrassing enough she was being forced to go to the soccer game and face Christen today. The only hope she had was that Christen had no idea it was supposed to be a date and she wouldn’t think that she was the biggest loser that had ever existed.    
   
“Hey Little Sister, why do you look so sad?” Perry had drove up and saw Tobin on the steps sulking.  
   
Tobin looked up at her. Perry had been there for her through some tough times, maybe she wouldn’t think she was such a loser. “I asked Chris out.”  
   
“Oh no, did she say no? How dare she say no?” Perry sat down next to her sister.  
   
With her arms now wrapped around her knees Tobin spoke up. “She didn’t say no, she actually said yes.”  
   
She gave her a little slap on the back. “That’s great. Wait, why are you sad?”  
   
“Because she brought another girl with her.” Tobin buried her face in her knees. “She thought it was a group hang situation.”  
   
“So she said yes, but not to a date.” Perry sat for a second listening to her sister growl into her knees. As much as she tried there was no stopping her laughter. She started to crack up. “Damn that’s messed up Tobs.”  
   
“Yeah, and it’s not funny Perry.” Tobin yelled but it was muffled by her legs.  
   
“It’s a little funny.” She cackled, needing to lean back on her arms. “But that’s not that bad, you can fix this.”  
   
The younger girl turned her head and looked up at her sister. “Kling and Alex said I have to ask her again, but I just don’t know how to do that. You have no idea how hard it was to ask the first time.”  
   
Perry thought for a second. “Well then you just have to ask yourself, is she worth it?” She watched Tobin lower her eyebrows in confusion. “Tobs is this Christen girl the girl you want to be with? Is she the girl? You gave up dating Alex ‘super hot’ Morgan to take a chance on Chris. Is she worth it?”  
   
“Yes.” Tobin didn’t have to think about it. She didn’t need to wonder or ask herself the question, the answer was most defiantly a yes. Christen was worth it, there was no doubt in her mind. “She is amazing Perry. The coolest person I have ever met. When we talk, it’s like… I don’t know, like I have been talking to her all my life even though we are just getting to know each other. She’s crazy smart, and funny but in a subtle way, I don’t even think she knows she’s funny. And beautiful, she’s amazingly beautiful. I have no idea if her eyes are green or grey, but whatever color they are they blow my mind. She blows my mind. The way she thinks, the way she talks. I just… I just like her.”  
   
“Then you have to ask her out again and make sure she knows it’s a date.” She sat up and put her arm around her younger sister’s shoulders. “Tobin, I have never told you this before and if anyone ever ask I will deny it, but you are one of the coolest people I know. You may be nervous and a little weird, but you are pretty amazing. If this Chris girl is half as cool as you make her out to be she would be absolutely insane to turn you down.”  
   
Tobin sat up and put her arms around her sister. “Thanks Perry, I think you’re pretty cool too.”  
   
Even though she was still nervous about the whole thing Tobin knew her sister was right. She needed to ask Christen out again, she needed to do it right and make sure that Christen knew it was a date. She had spent her entire life trying to stay quiet and to find a way to not talk to anyone, but she didn’t feel that way about Christen. For the first time in her life she had found someone that she wanted to talk to, that she wanted to have a conversation with, it was more about finding a way to talk to her. She couldn’t be nervous forever, she couldn’t wait, she needed to talk to her, no matter what it took.  
   
Meghan had arrived a few minutes after Perry’s pep talk. The two best friends decided to train for the day, a chance for Tobin to get all her nervous energy out. The ran to the high school and kicked the ball around for a while. Meghan wanted to work on tackles and dribbling drills so Tobin got kicked in the ankle too many times for comfort, then they spent the rest of the time running through cones. After they were too tired to train they walked back to Tobin’s house and had a huge lunch. They sat around watching a replay of the National Team versus Germany until it was time for them to head out to the game.  
   
Tobin put her phone in her pocket. “Alex is on her way… Alex and Morgan.”  
   
Meghan looked up at her. “Oh-cool.”  
   
Alex had suggested she pick them up. This way they could all arrive together and get introduced to all the other players, at least that’s what they were telling Meghan and Morgan. In all reality it was to give their best friends a chance to talk to each other, that is if Meghan actually spoke to Morgan this time.  
   
“Are you going to be okay?” Tobin asked as she kicked the ball back and forth between her feet.  
   
Meghan gave her a weird look. “Yeah I’ll be okay… Wait what do you mean?”  
   
She was trying to be subtle but that was never her strong suit. “You know with Morgan.”  
   
Now a little uncomfortable Meghan stood up and started to pace. “Why would I not be?”  
   
“Well I just know you use to really like Morgan, and maybe you still do a little.” Tobin had switched to juggling with her knees.  
   
“I’m not sure how I feel.” She lied, she knew exactly how she felt. “I mean I guess I might still have a crush on her, but that doesn’t matter.”  
   
“Why doesn’t it matter?” She asked balancing the ball on her forehead.  
   
Meghan went over and knocked the ball off her head. “Because Morgan Brian does not feel the same about me.”  
   
Tobin ran to get the ball before it rolled into the street. “How do you know she doesn’t feel the same?”  
   
“It’s Morgan Brian.” Meghan laughed. She leaned against the wood column to porch. “She’s just…”  
   
Holding the ball under her arm she saw the uneasy look on her friends face. “She’s what?”  
   
“Way too cool for me.” The words were her own but they hurt a little to say. Meghan had known for a long time that she was a dork, but knowing for sure that she was too much of a dork to go after the girl she wanted hurt more than she realized.  
   
Tobin walked over and put her hand on her friends shoulder. “Dude, trust me, if Morgan is anything like Alex, she is a dork too. You have nothing to worry about.”  
   
As much as Meghan wanted to trust what Tobin was saying there was no way her mind would let her settle down. If history taught her anything, Morgan Brain was way out of her league and that was something she just needed to accept.  
   
“She dates girls like that stupid guitar player from lunch, whatever her name was.” Meghan knew exactly what that girls name was, she had spent many of nights cursing that name. “Maybe I should learn how to play the guitar.”  
   
“Chris plays guitar.” Tobin said with a smile. “Maybe she can teach you.”  
   
“Now that’s a viable idea.”  
   
The car pulled up, loud music coming from the rolled up windows. With encouraging looks they got in the back seat. Alex gave a chipper hello, she was hyped up for the game. Morgan, the calmer half of their duo said hello, to which Meghan responded with a smile and a word that didn’t seem like a greeting but could be taken as one. Tobin shook her head and started giving directions to the part of the park they were headed to.  
   
They spent the car ride talking about the game and all the players. Both Alex and Morgan were excited to be playing with a group again. After school was over they only really had each other to play with. Apparently still hung out with JJ and Becky, but they never really played a game. They missed having a team and a group to just hang out with. Tobin couldn’t help but think of how crazy it was that they missed hanging out with people. Alex and Morgan were the two most popular girls on the team, she figured they hung out with the team all the time, but almost everyone had a job and were going to different places for college so they had all but disbanded over the summer. So maybe everyone was in the same situation as Tobin and Meghan, hanging out with one person, anxious to play a real game.  
   
The group was already down at the field when they pulled up. Christen was already down there, laughing at something Mallory had said to her. She looked so beautiful, Tobin couldn't take her eyes off her, she almost missed the little step down from the parking lot.

“Hey don’t be nervous.” Alex said in a low voice.  
   
Tobin looked over at her. “I’m okay, I promise.”  
   
As they got to the field, much to Tobin’s surprise Meghan was way too nervous to speak up so she had to do the introductions. “Hey everyone this is Alex and Morgan, they played with us in high school.” She pointed to everyone telling the two new girls their names. “I hope it’s cool they play. They are kind of itching to play a real game.”  
   
“Are they any good?” Clint asked his chin up in the air.  
   
Tobin chuckled. “Oh Clint, you have no idea what you are in for.”  
   
Everyone started to laugh. They all sat down and put on their cleats. Everyone was asking the two girls a million questions, what positions they played, where they were going to school, how come Meghan and Tobin never invited them before. As they fielded all the questions like they had been interviewed a million times before Tobin was busy looking over to Christen who seemed more interested in the grass than making eye contact with Tobin. Almost giving up hope Tobin had decided to just try and talk to her after the game, but Christen looked up at her, not only that, she smiled. Of course Tobin gave her a goofy smile back, shocked she would even look at her. So maybe everything was okay. Maybe she could do this.  
   
Everyone stood up in a circle and Hope spoke up. “So how are we doing teams?”  
   
“If I may.” Alex said quickly. “I know I am new to this, but I heard there was a power team here and that power team needs to be challenged by the real power team.” She pointed her finger between her and Morgan.  
   
Everyone looked around. “Who’s the power team?” Clint asked.  
   
“Me, Alex ‘Star Forward’ Morgan and my soul sibling Morgan ‘Not-so-Star Midfielder’ Brain challenge your power team Tobin Heath and Christen Press.”  
   
   
Tobin immediately looked over to Christen who had a shocked look on her face. Now she was nervous, great job Alex.  
   
Christen looked over to Tobin, “Are we a power team?”  
   
With her hand rubbing the back of her neck Tobin nodded her head. “I guess so.”  
   
“Well what do you think Tobs?” Christen asked with a little smile.  
   
Tobin looked over to Alex who had her hands on her hips in a cocky superman pose. “Beat these two into the ground?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Sure let’s do it.”  
   
Everyone started to cheer, they were all excited to see who would win. Each person got to pick their team, people were excited to see how Alex backed up all her words so they picked her team, the rest had more confidence in the two they knew so they went with Christen and Tobin.

The game of Rock Paper Scissors was played, Alex coming out the victor which she of course bragged about. As the teams went to their side if the field they huddled up for a quick game plan. Christen stood next to Tobin and without hesitation she put her arm around her shoulders as they leaned in. Tobin took a second to put her arm around Christen's waist but when she did she had to take a breath to keep herself from freaking out a little bit.

Meghan was in the middle of the huddle crouched down, some how she had taken control of the game plan. "Okay so those two are no joke, Alex is quick and she likes to take long shots so I need you to be on your game." She pointed a finger at Bobby who protested a little. "Morgan can find Alex on any part of the field so watch for the cross. Not to mention she is a scoring machine herself. She has a tight style keeping the ball close to her unless she is sending it. Our biggest threat is Alex's speed, she will be down the field in a flash, so Tobin you need to have your shit together."

"I got this." Tobin responded with a cocky smile. 

There wasn't match she could be confident with, Tobin was just a nervous person by nature, but if there was one thing she knew it was soccer. She had been guarding Alex for years on the practice field, and a few times when they were on separate youth teams, she knew how Alex played and how to stop her on the run. 

The team all put their hands in placing them on top of Meghan's head and yelling 'win' before breaking the huddle and spreading out on the field. 

Before they separated Tobin reached out and grabbed Christen's hand, pulling her in so their shoulders were touching. "Hey, Morgan is going to be all over you, they won't trust a defender to guard you, they know how fast you are."

Christen looked down at the team that was still in a circle talking. "You think so?"

"I told Alex how fast you are, there is no way she will trust anyone on you but Morgan." They were talking so close Tobin could feel the heat coming off her body. "She has a problem with balls in the air coming from the left, so when I serve it look for it up and ahead. Okay?"

"Okay." She lowered her head a bit and smiled.

Tobin returned the smile, but it wasn't nervous, she held up her hand. "We got this. Power Team."

Christen took her hand with a loud slap and held tight. "Power Team."

So this was confidence. Tobin walked to her end of the field looking back only once to watch Christen walk away. It was in the moment that Christen looked over at her whenever they were called a power team. It was the way she smiled when she realized people talked about them. That single moment gave Tobin some confidence. This was soccer, this was her game, her field and if she was going to have confidence anywhere it was right here.

The game started and just like Tobin had said, Morgan was on Christen, and the two new girls were playing like they had something to prove. It wasn't a light game but it was still light hearted. As they played jokes flew back and forth, Alex having no issue joining in even if she didn't have everyone's names down just yet. 

As a shot was taken on Tim coming off Clint´s foot, Tobin's team lost the ball to a long kick down the field. Before anyone could see Alex was down the field, Morgan only trailing behind her by a few feet. Morgan stopped mid run and turned to find the ball coming down from the long kick. The ball settled the midfielder took control, blowing past Lindsey and heading down the field. Alex had cut across field and was waiting high on the left. With a perfect ball combining with a perfect run Alex had the ball and with only two touches she was past the defender and sending the ball into the upper tight corner where Hope stretched but missed. The ball hit the back of the net, the first point was scored. 

Alex jumped up with a loud yell, her whole team ran down the field to celebrate. Tobin and Christen's team walked back down to their side still with smiles on their faces as they turned a few times to watch the cocky celebration.

Tobin walked into the circle with Christen. "Told you she was fast." She laughed a little.

"She's like a..."

"Baby horse?" Tobin laughed about the funny nickname their high school team had given Alex.

Christen laughed. "Yes, that's exactly how she is." She looked over to Tobin and squinted her eyes. "Can you play up?"

A little confused she tilted her head to the side. "How up?"

"Almost the eighteen." The striker replied with a sly tone.

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, yeah."

The other team was now finished cheering and pretending to take pictures of Alex and they had settled back into their places on the field. Alex looked over to Tobin and gave her a smile, that pretty much read 'told you so' which made Tobin want to win even more. She was not about to get shown up on her field, even if it was Alex Morgan. She had no idea why Christen wanted her to play so far up, but she trusted her soccer skills.

The ball was in play and Christen kicked it back to Meghan who took control with Hope calling plays behind her. As she was instructed Tobin headed up field, way further than she liked to play when she didn't have four in the middle to keep track of the ball. Surprisingly she found herself alone besides Jozy playing defender. Christen was in midfield making a short run with Morgan behind her looking down for the ball.

Right when Tobin was wondering what the heck was going on the ball came to Christen. With speed and accuracy she dribbled past Morgan, leaving her behind, but not far off. Tobin called down to Christen letting her know how close the girl was, but Christen never looked back, she sent the ball up towards the middle. Tobin figured out what she was doing, with a quick run was in the middle with two defenders on her. She took the ball out to the left almost to the line when she saw Christen up the middle. Just like she had told her before she served the ball in the air and ahead. Morgan turned to look for the ball and Christen jetted ahead of her, heading the ball low and out of reach of Tim's dive. The ball rolled to the back of the net.

The team started to scream. Tobin ran over and wrapped her arms around Christen's waist lifting her up in the air and spinning her around. She felt arms around her neck holding tight. She didn't want to set her down, there in her arms before anyone had reached them she felt the rush of energy. She only had a second to take it all in, how it felt to hold her so close, everyone was on them hugging them and slapping them on the back. 

In the large circle Tobin had set the happy striker down, but she kept her hands on her waist. Looking up, covered up by the bodies of their team mates Christen's eyes were dark, the green almost invisible. Christen looked gave her a huge smile, her hands behind Tobin's neck, fingers laced together. The nerves started to creep up as Tobin felt the heat from her hands, she felt those grey eyes on her starring with a look that couldn't be described as just excitement, it was something else, something more. With that look Tobin made a choice right then, she was going to kiss Christen Press, maybe not right now, but soon, because if she didn't do it soon she might explode.

The game went on for a while longer. Alex and Morgan played like the champions they claimed to be, but Christen and Tobin were always right there to defend their field. As they came up with on the spot game plans, trying to break down the defenders and out smart Tim in goal, the game would go from extremely intense to lose and crazy. It was incredible to just play especially with Alex. Tobin watched as she practically glided down the field, it reminded her of high school, watching Alex play making sure she timed the ball just right to match her speed. But now she was getting her timing down with another player, one with speed and agility but a completely different style. Tobin would watch Christen as she cut across the field, she could stop on a dime and change directions. She was not Alex, she was something different and Tobin was excited to get to know every aspect of her.

The sun had disappeared a while ago and the lights from the park were over head lighting the field. They had been playing for a lot longer than normal. The score was 4-4, Alex tying it up with a header just out of Hope's reach. Even though they had been playing for hours with only one break, everyone still had energy, no one wanting to admit defeat or leave it at a tie. Alex and Morgan's presence on the field seemed to give everyone an adrenaline rush that wouldn't wear off. Everyone needed to prove that their power team was the best.

The ball had gone out of bounds down at Alex and Morgan's half of the field. Meghan ran up to throw it in. She looked down and saw Christen trying to get open as Tobin ran down to the other end. She knew what she had to do. Christen cut hard to the right leaving her defending midfielder in the dust and Meghan threw the ball in. 

Christen hardly had a chance to get control of the ball before Morgan as on her. The tired striker tried to cut left but Morgan was with her. She tried to turn right but again the midfielder was relentless in her pursuit of the ball. She looked up for a second and saw Tobin just at the eighteen. That's when the idea popped in her head, the move she had learned only a week ago. She set the ball a little behind her and kicked it up rainbowing it over her head. Morgan looked up focused on the ball going over her head, she didn't see Christen run past her and cross to Tobin.

Even though her mind was going a little insane by the fact that Christen had done the move she had taught her, Tobin focused on the ball. It was ahead of her, she needed to move before the defender got to her. She turned on the jets and caught the ball right before anyone could make it to her. One touch. Two touches and it was sent with power. Tim dove for it but it was no use, nothing was stopping that rocket from getting to the back of the net. 

The team started to scream. Christen ran up to Tobin, who was now sliding on her knees shaking her fist in the air. When Tobin saw the girl coming towards her she jumped up and crashed into her, putting her arms around her waist and picking her up. 

"You did it." Tobin yelled out holding on tight to the sweaty body pressed against her. 

Christen buried her face in Tobin's neck. "No you did it."

They held onto each other Tobin spinning them around a few times. She let her down as the team surrounded them. In the middle of the rowdy circle Tobin put her hand up, Christen grabbed onto it tight.

"Power Team." Tobin said with a huge smile. 

Christen nodded her head. "Power Team."

Jozy had looked over at his phone and announced that is was almost ten and everyone agreed that was the last goal. No one could top that, not tonight, not after three hours of playing as hard as they could. The group sat down to change their shoes.

"I thought you didn't know to rainbow, Press." Clint called out as everyone was in the circle. 

Christen nodded her head. "I couldn't. Tobin taught me last week." She looked over to the tired girl and grinned. 

"This is why those two should never be on the same team." Clint cried out. "I thought you two were the ultimate power couple." He directed his words to Alex.

Alex laid back in the grass. "So I underestimated the power of the Heath Press combination."

"Or maybe you overestimated the power of the Brian Morgan combination." Meghan joked.

Morgan gave her a little slap to the arm. "Hey you take that back. We are number one."

"Well right now, you're number two." Meghan laughed. 

Everyone started to laugh and make jokes leaving Alex to defend herself with wise cracks and playful threats to take on anyone in a one on one game. When everything started to settle Hope spoke up.

"So there is a National Team game in Boston in two weeks, and I think we should all go. Well we as in the women here should go."

"Wo, why can't we go?" Clint said point to himself and all the boys.

Hope gave him a glare. "Because I had a hard enough time convincing Little Bits mom to let her go with just us. There is no way she will let her go if she even thinks boys are going."

Mallory started to laugh. "Yeah she is pretty much running a background check on all of you and forcing Hope to FaceTime her like ten times a day."

"So you asked Little Bit to go with you before all of us?" Lindsey asked with a small chuckle. "What are the rest of us just after thoughts?"

"No, just you." Hope joked. After everyone was done laughing at Lindsey she explained the plan. "So my friends sister works at a hotel and she said she can get us a suite, like five bedrooms five bathrooms, full kitchen all that for two days for like $750. I was going to just divide it by the six of us but Alex and Morgan you two are way more than welcomed to come with us."

All eyes were on the two girls. "We were actually thinking of going with our friends JJ and Becks, so if you guys are cool with them coming we would love to hang with you. Right Moe?"

Morgan nodded her head. "Yeah, ya'll are awesome."

"Are they soccer players too?" Mallory asked in a chipper voice. 

Morgan answered. "Yeah they're defenders, Kling's backline buddies."

"They are awesome." Meghan said happily. "You guys will love them."

"Cool." Hope said with a little shrug. "So that's 750 divided by 8..."

"93.75." Christen answered quickly.

Everyone looked over at her. "What are you a calculator?" Sam joked.

"She's a witch." Tobin answered without thinking. She looked over to Christen and they shared a little smile at the joke they shared. 

"Okay, so 93.75, lets round that up to $94. The tickets are only like $100 to get some good seats. If everyone chips in like $20 bucks for food and gas thats..." she looked over to Christen.

"$214." She told them with a huge grin. 

Hope shook her head with a laugh. "That's not bad for two days and two nights in Boston watching the National Team kick some ass."

Everyone nodded their heads. The girls agreed to the plan. They would all give Hope the money and she would put it on her card so they could get seats in a row. They were going to leave on a Thursday night, watch the game on Friday and drive back Saturday morning. Tobin and Meghan just needed to ask for the Saturday off, which they both knew Ashlyn would say yes too. With a few more details hammered out, who was driving and who was riding in which car, the plan was set into motion. They were going to Boston.

The group started to go their separate ways, leaving Alex, Meghan, Morgan, Christen and Tobin to walk up to the parking lot at the far side of the field. 

"You are crazy good." Christen said to Alex as they walked side by side. "Your control in tight spaces is pretty insane."

Alex smiled. "Yeah, I'm not Tobin level yet but I'm getting there. That last play was so awesome. I have never seen anyone pull that off so quickly in a real game."

"After Tobin taught me how to do it the right way I practiced everyday for a week." She looked over to Tobin was heavy into some kind of random argument with Meghan. "She's pretty amazing."

Alex saw the look in her eye, it confirmed everything Meghan told her in the car. Christen did like Tobin, and it looked like it was moving from the crush stage to the next level. Now if only they could get it together. 

They got to the cars and everyone piled their stuff into the trunk. Meghan was about to give Christen the signal to talk to Tobin when she felt a hand on her arm. She looked over to see Morgan pulling her from the car. Hesitant she went towards the girl.

"Hey." Morgan said with her head lowered a little.

Meghan looked around for a minute, yes she was indeed talking to her. "Hey." She responded in a cracking voice.

The taller girl was rocking back and forth on her heels. "So I was hoping that maybe we could hang out sometime."

Again Meghan looked around to make sure no one was standing around her that Morgan could possibly be talking to. "Like as a group?"

With a little laugh she shook her head. "No, like you and me."

Meghan shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts. "Uh-yeah. I mean, that would be cool." She sounded like Tobin, but she was more surprised that she was getting actual words out.

"Well, can I get your number?" She looked at her, brown eyes shining in the light of the street lamp.

"To my phone?" She realized how insane that response was right as she said it. "Uh-yeah, sure."

Morgan took out her phone and opened up her contacts handing the phone over. With shaky hands Meghan took the phone and typed her name in the contact list before putting her number in. She saved the contact then held the phone out between them. When Morgan grabbed the phone their fingers brushed past each other sending a chill up Meghan's spine. She gave her a little smile.

"Okay. I'll text you." Morgan said pushing her phone into her pocket. 

"Yeah, cool." She answered trying not to yell with excitement or possibly die from an anxiety attack. 

Did she just give her number to Morgan Brian? Did she just talk to her? Did she just make vague plans to possibly hang out sometime? What they hell was going on in this world? She looked over to see Tobin talking to Christen. Alex was leaning against the passengers side of the car texting on her phone. The other two girls were standing on the other side of Christen's car where no one could hear them.

"Thanks for teaching me that move." Christen said nervously.

Tobin nodded her head. "Of course. You took it to a new level though."

"Well I have a great teacher." She smiled nervously. 

This was it, this was the chance Tobin had been waiting for. They weren't alone but they were pretty much out of ear shot. She just needed to find the words, and the confidence, and everything else she lacked when it came to Christen. Suddenly her plan to just ask her sounded stupid and she had no idea what to do, so she did the only thing she knew how to do.

"Well, it's late." Tobin rubbed the back of her neck with her hand,

Christen nodded her head. "Yeah that was a long game."

"Yeah." She said in an airy voice. "Well I guess I'll see you Sunday."

"Yeah." 

Christen watched her start to walk around the car. She watched as she mumbled something to herself. It was up to her now, she had messed it up and now she needed to fix it.

"Hey Tobin." Christen took a few steps forward so they were close again. "Do you maybe what to get dinner with me...tomorrow?"

"Uh-yeah." Tobin said happily.

Christen nodded her head resisting the urge to look away. "Great. I can uh-maybe pick a you up at seven."

"You want to pick me up?" Tobin's eyes went wide. "Uh-yeah okay."

Christen wanted to laugh because she sounded just like Meghan sounded in the store, instead she shifted from one foot the the other and smiled. "Okay, tomorrow at seven."

Tobin gave her a little half smile. "Okay, see you then." She started to walk away but heard Christen call out to her again.

"Hey Tobin." She said in a shaky voice. She looked back at her with a questioning look. Christen took a deep breath, she could do this. She smiled again. "It's a date."

Excitement coursed through her, there was no stopping the huge grin that appeared on Tobin's face. "Okay." She said trying not to scream.

Everyone took the cue that if they let the two girls talk anymore one of them would ruin it, so they practically pulled Tobin in the car before waving good night to Christen. 

In the car Tobin was buzzing. "What a night." She said with a huge smile.

Meghan looked over to her, she knew what was going on, but she wanted to hear it from the happy girl next to her, because she knew Tobin wanted to share it. "What happened."

"We are going on a date." She bounced up in the seat. "A real one, no confusion, no group hang. She said the words, she said, it's a date."

Everyone started to cheer loudly fist bumping, high fiving, making as big of a deal out of it as a they possibly could. For once Tobin wasn't shy or embarrassed she danced and sang along with the three girls. She was happy, excited, nervous, anxious, but happy. She was going on a real date with Christen and nothing in this world could bring her down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this looking for Talex, you're in the wrong place wmy friend, don't worry just go back a chapter and enjoy.
> 
> let me know how you are liking (or hating) it. Especially if you are reading both parts, tell me what you think about the contrast in stories.
> 
> Thanks for the love!!!


	13. Fondu for Two (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date, Finally the date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next chapter int eh Preath portion of the story. If you are looking for Talex, that's the next chapter. If you are ready for Tobin and Christen to finally have their date then you are in the right place.
> 
> I pushed this out in one day after a very long day playing bass guitar and holding guns (i have a weird life) so please ignore the typos, they are not real.
> 
> As always thank you for the love, I can't believe people are actually reading my stuff, you have no idea what it means to me. Thank you for sticking with me I will try to update faster.
> 
> Enjoy.

Of course Tobin couldn't sleep, how was she suppose to sleep when in less than twenty four hours she was going on a date with Christen. She spent the better part of the night looking at Christens Facebook, since they were now friends she was free to roam around and look at her past, at least the things she chose to post. 

Just as Tobin thought Christen was popular at her old school. Her Facebook was filled with photos of her with crowds of people, Christen always somewhere near the center of the crowd with a huge smile on her face. She had several pictures of her on the soccer field in her dark blue uniform and a serious look on her face. 

Christen is so beautiful. Her long wavy hair scattered around her face, her eyes even in pictures had a hard time deciding what color they were. Her smile was bright white and perfect and Tobin could spend the rest of the night staring at it. She was something else, something more, something Tobin needed to figure out, but she wasn't nervous about it, she was excited.

In all her life Tobin had only ever truly liked one person for the last eighteen years, having feelings for someone else was overwhelming at first, but she was now kind of settling into the idea. Tobin was now becoming more comfortable with the idea that she was no longer infatuated with Alex, as amazing as the girl was, her mind was now filled with Christen and only Christen. Her thoughts now wondered about her, about what she was doing, how she was doing, whether or not she was thinking about Tobin as much as Tobin was thinking about her. If Christen was thinking about her half as much as Tobin was thinking about her then maybe she had a better chance than she thought.

The other half of her night, when Tobin finally decided that scrolling back to 2014 in her feed was stalker enough for the night, she decided to look up what to do on a first date. When she had her date with Alex she was so angry with Meghan she didn't really have time to think about it. Everything with Alex had gone well, at least thats what Alex had told her, but this was different, Christen was different, and Tobin needed to be perfect, so she went into research mode.

So far every website she was on told her the same thing, ask questions, apparently women liked to talk about themselves a lot, which Tobin found extremely sexist, but every single site said it so it must be kind of true. So she needed to ask questions, but what kind of questions, they couldn't be random, they could, but she was horrible at random question, she always came off weird and awkward and that was not what she wanted to do, so she did more research. Before the night ended she had a stock of more than thirty questions to ask, calculating the time each question might take to answer, and time for her to give thoughtful insight into the answer Tobin figured this was enough to fill the night. 

It was almost two in the morning when her eyes finally start to fall and she drifted off to sleep. It was a restless sleep of course, her dreams filled with scenarios of bad dates, she woke up a little sweaty and a lot nervous and decided that she was not going to be able to sleep any longer. It was 6:45 and that was early enough to text Meghan for a run.

With an angry response from her best friend, Tobin was up and changed into her workout gear. No one in her house was awake, she was normally still asleep for at least another half an hour so she tiptoed down the stairs and out the house closing the back door quietly so it didn't slam and wake the house up. She traveled through he back woods electing not to drive so Meghan could have a chance to get her self together before Tobin made it to the house. 

She passed by the trees she had passed by her entire life. She passed by the tree with TH and MK carved in jagged letters, she passed by the tree with a missing branch from when they attempted to make a tire swing and chose a branch that was way too thin. This was her past, her time with Meghan when they could be anything, say anything, do anything. It was strange to think that in a few months they would leave this all behind.

She made it to the tall wooden fence that she had opened too many times to count, and pushed it opened to reveal the Klingenberg's back yard. As she closed the door behind her she was met by giant paws on her shoulders, Meghan's Great Dane was telling her good morning.

"Bryce, you giant animal, what are you doing?" Tobin grabbed the giant paws on her shoulder and smiled as the huge animal licked her face a few times.

"Bryce go do your business bud." It was Meghan's dad calling from the back porch.

The giant dog jumped down and ran around the yard as Tobin went up to the man standing in the glass doorway. 

"Hey dad." Tobin said as she climbed into the house. 

"You're up early." The man responded after closing the door. "Are you guys about to work out?"

Tobin set her bag down on the floor and jumped into the high bar stool set at the kitchen counter. "Yeah I couldn't really sleep so I forced her awake."

The tall man nodded his head and smiled. "Yeah she was grumpy headed to the bathroom." He poured himself a cup of coffee. "Have you eaten?"

"Nope." Tobin said her hands setting on the counter.

He turned around and grabbed a power bar out of the bowl on the counter throwing in Tobin's direction. "Eat something, I don't want you passing out during the run. Then I'll have to come drag your body home and that will put a serious damper on my morning."

"Aw thanks dad, I love your level of concern." She opened the shiny gold package and took a huge bite giving him a smile. 

Before he could respond Meghan was downstairs with an angry look on her face. "Why?" She cried out.

"Because you love me." Tobin responded her mouth full of cookies and cream power bar.

"Debatable." Meghan said laying her arms across the counter and putting her head down, she let out a long scream into her arms before picking up her head and looking at Tobin. "You suck."

"Here kiddo, eat something." Her dad said tossing another golden wrapped power bar in the girls direction. 

"Dad doesn't want us passing out and messing up his morning." Tobin said after catching the bar and pushing it into Meghan's hands.

"Thoughtful." Meghan responded unable to form full sentences just yet.

Meghan's dad headed off to his office in the back of the house, and Meghan climbed onto the stool next to Tobin and slowly chewed the power bar in her hand. Tobin got two water bottles from the refrigerator and sat waiting for Meghan to get to full power before she said a lot of words or took any kind of action.

Meghan was three quarters a way through the power bar when her eyes got a little life in them. "Why are you up so early."

"I couldn't sleep." Tobin shrugged. "I'm nervous dude."

With a little head nod as if it was the most obvious answer in the world Meghan sat up straight and put her hand on her friends shoulder. "Well, let's go running, get some of those nerves out."

That was all it took, both girls found the energy to begin their day. It was no soccer Friday so they took the long way to the school track, neither of them in a rush while running. While at the track they didn't talk about the date for the first half, they simply did sprints mixed with a few body weight exercises before taking a break and sitting in the middle of the field.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Meghan asked chugging a bottle of water.

Tobin tossed her empty bottle in her back pack. "Nope. I spent most of my time looking up first date stuff, which made me even more nervous."

"First date stuff?" Meghan cocked an eyebrow up.

With a shrug of her shoulders Tobin explained her situation. "First dates you are suppose to do stuff like certain stuff and I have no idea what that stuff is so and I decided to google it. They say to ask questions and a lot of them, so I was looking up what to ask. I have a list."

"Let me see this list." Meghan laughed.

Reluctantly the taller girl reached into her back pack and took out her phone. She checked over to the pages document that had her list of questions and handed over her phone to her friend. She watched as Meghan's eyes scrolled over the questions a smile coming on her face as she got towards the end. She looked up at Tobin, then down to the phone then back up at Tobin and started to crack up.

Tobin reached over and took the phone back. "Thanks dude." She shoved the device back in her back pack and crossed her arms in front of her pouting.

"I'm sorry." Meghan said through laughs. "Really I didn't mean to laugh, you just have a lot of questions. You are so prepared."

Tobin picked a piece of grass from the ground and attempted to through it at her almost toppled over friend. "Some people, you know non jerk people, would think this is a good thing."

"What, no way." Meghan laughed even louder. "Tobs, I may have never been on a date, but even I know you can't bring notes. I mean how are you even going to look at the questions? You can't bring your phone up whenever you need to remember a question. It's not an interview."

"Ha, that's what the website said first dates are, interviews. They are interviews for your heart." Tobin said proudly.

This served to send Meghan backwards with laughter, grabbing her sides not even attempting to control herself at this point. Tobin stood up and grabbed her stuff and started to walk away, she got about halfway to the edge of the field when she was tackled to the ground by the shorter girl who was still laughing.

"Dude, chill out." Meghan said as Tobin pushed her off her legs. "I didn't mean to laugh so much, it was just funny."

"Why?" Tobin cried wrapping her arms around herself. "Why is it so funny?"

"Because I have never seen you this nervous before, not ever." Meghan finally got ahold of her laughter. "And I have never seen anyone prepare for a date like this. Well I have never seen anyone prepare for a date. You don't really prepare you just go on it. Did you do this when you went on that date with Alex?"

"No, but this is different." Tobin said simply. "It's Chris. I've known Alex forever, I may not have spoken to her, but I know her, we had things in common. I know Chris, we talked that day in the car, but I still don't know her know her."

Meghan nodded her head, the conversation now turning serious. "You don't have to worry. The conversation will just flow with you two, trust me."

"How do you know?" Tobin's brown eyes now big and shaking with worry.

"Because you like each other." Meghan said in an obvious tone. "You two are both crazy about each other, you don't have to worry. If the conversation flowed in the car that day, it will flow again. Have faith."

Tobin's arms fell to her side, she kicked at the grass on the field. "I hope you are right."

They went into another round of work outs tapered to keep their minds focused on their actions and not the date that was going to happen in a few hours. As much as Tobin wanted to focus on the workout she couldn't help but think about Christen and how much she really liked her. She could only hope she didn't mess it up.

The morning was over and both girls were exhausted and hungry, so they decided to stop. Right as Meghan got her phone from her bag it buzzed in her hand. She looked up at Tobin, she was normally the only one texting her, she turned her phone over in her hand and looked at the message.

 **Morgan** Hey what are y'all doing?

"It's Morgan." Meghan stared down at her phone. "Morgan Brian is texting me."

"What did she say?" Tobin walked over and looked down at the phone reading the message. "Well, are you gonna text her back?"

She looked up at her best friend, her eyes going from Tobin to the phone. "Should I?"

Tobin chuckled. "Yeah dude, text her back."

Meghan started to type on her phone, she read the message four times before pressing send.

-Just finished a work out.-

Before she got a chance to talk the three dots appeared on her screen. "Holy shit she is texting back right now." Meghan watched the dots on her screen and then a message appear.

-Are y'all hungry?-

"She wants to know if we are hungry." Meghan said with a confused look on her face.

Tobin took a drink from her bottle, when Meghan didn't move to text back she smiled at her "Well, tell her we are."

"Oh yeah right." She quickly typed out a response, one simply word -starving- then hit send. She watched as the three dots appeared again, this time she didn't call out the fact that Morgan was responding she just waited.

-Where are you?-

Now a little more nervous than before she looked up at her friend who seemed as cool as a fucking cucumber while Meghan was panicking. "She wants to know where we are."

"Okay so tell her." Tobin said simply.

Meghan scoffed. "I know that." She typed out their location and waited again.

-Awesome, we are at the WaWa down the street. Come eat with us.-

She didn't need to check with Tobin she just typed out, -on our way- and tucked her phone in her bag.

"We are going to WaWa to get some lunch."

The convenient store was only a few minutes down the street from the school. It was the place all the seniors, who were allowed to leave campus for lunch, would walk to and get food and sit around trying to be cool. Tobin and Meghan went there a few times when they didn't want to eat with the cafeteria was serving that day. Most of the time they found themselves eating something unhealthy down on the field. Tobin liked the field, it made her feel like she was at home. The times when they ate in the cafeteria she always felt a little overwhelmed by all the people talking and laughing. The groups everyone broke off into keeping away from one another because of silly things like, playing soccer or playing in band. High school was so incredibly, high school, and Tobin always hated it. 

"Are you going to be okay?" Tobin asked as they got closer to the meeting spot.

Meghan didn't look over at her. "Uh-yeah, I'm going to be great, I am great, everything is great."

"Great." Tobin mocked. 

They made it to the store pretty quickly even though they were tired and sweaty, Meghan's legs seemed to be moving faster than normal. As they got there they saw the two girls sitting outside on red picnic tables. They approached slowly and gave them both waves.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?" Tobin asked as they set their gear down at the table.

"Lunch before we go back to work." Alex said with a smile. "Why were you working out at the school."

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "We like the track."

Tobin looked over and noticed how Meghan had frozen after setting her stuff down, she was kind of looking over at Morgan and kind of looking off like she was trying not to stare but couldn't help it. Knowing the feeling of being stuck when looking at the girl you like Tobin gave her best friend a little tap on the back to knock her out of her train of thought and bring her back to earth, something Meghan had done for her several times. 

Meghan coughed and shook her head one good time before snapping back to reality. "How long do you guys have?"

"I have like fifteen minutes." Morgan answered with a frown. "But Alex has like thirty minutes."

"That's why she already has food." Alex commented on the sandwich in front of her friend. "Tobin and I can go get something for us."

Tobin caught the hint. "Yeah Kling you stay out here and keep Morgan company, I'll get your usual."

Meghan's eyes got wide. "Uh yeah okay."

Alex got up and hooked her arm in Tobin's before pulling her towards the door. Tobin looked back at her obviously freaked out friend and gave her an encouraging smile. It might have been a little crazy to just throw her in with Morgan like this, but if she knew Meghan at all, she was going to figure it out.

Watching her friend, and her cover, being dragged off into the store made Meghan a little anxious. This was the second time she was being left alone with Morgan, and the second time she was at a total loss for words. She sat down across from her and tried her best to smile and think of something to say, anything, any kind of words would do in this moment. 

Suddenly she remembered something, that stupid list that Tobin had, she fell back on the words she read on her phone. "Do you like your job?" 

Morgan nodded her head. "Yeah, it's not bad. I work for my dad, so its good hours and I get weekends off. It's not a dream job, but it will do for the summer. Honestly I can't wait until soccer is my job, then work won't feel like work."

Hearing the words made Meghan light up, now she knew what to talk about. 

 

Tobin stood pushing the buttons on the screen that made her favorite sandwich combination as Alex did the same on the screen next to her. 

"So how are you doing? You know with tonight?" Alex asked as her ticket was printed out of the machine. 

Now onto Meghan's order Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, good I guess. Nervous, but good."

"What has you the most nervous?" Alex asked.

Tobin took her ticket from the machine. "Everything. I mean, it's Chris and she is so amazing. I don't know how to talk to her. I mean I do, because I have, but I don't know it's like now that I know she likes me I have no idea how to talk to her."

Alex moved to the edge of the counter and stood watching the guy make their food. "It's nerve racking knowing someone has feelings for you, but it will be okay. Don't worry so much about what you are going to say, it'll just flow out when you are comfortable, so focus more on just being comfortable. Where are you two going?"

"The Melting Pot." Tobin responded. "She texted me last night and asked if it was good."

Alex did a little jump and cupped her hands over her mouth. "I love that place. See it'll be fun. When you get there, just relax and have fun. I mean you can't not have fun with melted cheese."

"I just don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"You won't." Alex put an arm around her shoulder. "Trust me, this girl likes you a lot, I'm pretty sure there is nothing you can do to make her not like you."

Tobin gave a sheepish smile. "You and Kling have so much confidence in me."

"That's because we know how great you are." She gave her a little slap on the back.

"Well just in case I am not as great as you two seem to think I am, I have a back up plan." Tobin said proudly. "I looked up stuff last night, and took some notes."

Alex turned to her. "You took notes?"

Tobin took out her phone and showed her document to Alex who quickly read over it. 

"Oh Please do not take this our during the date." Alex told her

Tobin lowered her eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Because you don't need it." Alex put her hand on her shoulder and pushed down a little. "Tobin Heath, you are great, you don't need notes, just be you. And besides this is strange."

"Whatever, fine." Tobin turned off her phone and shoved it in her pocket. "You and Kling."

"Trust me we are trying to help you." Alex laughed. "Now what are you wearing."

"Shit." A sense of panic came up on her. "I haven't even thought about that."

Alex shook her head and chuckled to herself. "Don't worry champ, we will be over to help you out."

\--

 

After eating lunch Tobin and Meghan walked back to there houses. Meghan now proud of herself for having a real conversations with Morgan was flying high the whole walk home, while Tobin was still anxious about her date tonight. They went to their separate houses to take showers and probably nap before Meghan came over to help her get ready. It was five hours and counting before Christen would be at her house to pick her up and Tobin felt like she was going to throw up.

It was still pretty early in the day so the house was still empty when Tobin walked in. She let Striker outside for a few minutes as she chugged another bottle of water. She was thinking about drinking another when she realized she didn't want to have to pee every five minuets during the date, so she decided to just nurse the next bottle. 

After she let the happy dog back in she headed up to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Stripping off her now sweat dried clothes the stepped into the shower. The hot water against her skin felt nice and relaxing. The thought of the date was driving her insane. How could going to eat fondu and have a conversation with someone be this nerve racking? Why did she have to be such an anxious person? Why couldn't she just be cool?

When she got out of the shower, she wrapped herself in a giant grey towel and stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was dark and plastered against her head. She looked at her eyes in the mirror, they were light brown and kind of big, but not weirdly big. She smiled as wide as she could and laughed at herself. She did that weird thing with her eyes when you switch them from focus to unfocused so she could blur herself in the mirror. So she was weird, and nervous, but she was pretty cute if she could say so herself, she was great at soccer and pretty smart. Maybe she was a catch, maybe there was something about her that was great, that's what Christen seemed to think. Maybe she could do this.

She spent the next few hours online watching videos trying to get her nerves under control. When she was about to give up she heard someone coming up the stairs. She jumped up and looked out her door, it was her sister coming home with bags looped on her arms.

"Hey Perry." She called out from her door way.

Perry looked over at her. "Hey little sis. What are you up too?"

Tobin looked down, "I might be going a little insane. I uh... I have a date tonight, with Chris."

Perry dropped the bags she had on her arms. "Get out of here. Are you serious?"

With a huge smile the younger sister nodded her head. "Yeah she asked me out yesterday at the game. We are going to The Melting Pot."

"I love that place." Perry came over to her sister. "Why are you going insane?"

She was about to answer but instead she yawned, the night without much sleep finally catching up to her. "I guess I am just nervous."

"And sleepy." Perry laughed. "I'm guessing you spent last night panicking instead of sleeping."

Tobin yawned again. "Maybe."

The older sister put her hand on her shoulder. "Go get some sleep little sis. I'll wake you up later. What time is the date?"

"She is going to be here at seven." Another long yawn escaped her mouth.

"Okay I'll wake you up around 5:30. Take a nap, the worst thing you can do is yawn the entire night."

Tobin nodded her head. "Yeah you're right."

Following her sisters advice, Tobin climbed into her bed and pulled the blankets over her. Her mind wanted to start thinking about the date and obsess over every little thing that could go wrong, but as soon as her head hit the pillow sleep took over and she drifted off.

 

\--

 

"So how do I look?" Tobin asked as she spun around to face the mob of women behind her.

"You look great." Alex said with a huge smile. 

"Yeah Tobs super hot." Morgan added in.

Meghan looked her up and down one good time. "Looks good."

"You look great little sis." Perry was leaning against the wall.

Some how everyone decided it was their job to make sure Tobin was as prepared as she could be for her date. Perry woke her up from her nap at 5:30 just like she said she would. Even though she had showered only a few hours ago Tobin felt the need to take another shower. By the time she was out Meghan and Alex were in her room going through all the clothes in her closet arguing over what looked best. About thirty minutes later Morgan showed up and took Meghan's place in the closet arguing with Alex over what shirt to wear. Soon Perry was in the mix turning down combinations for one reason of another.

Tobin spent the majority of the time blow drying her hair in the bathroom and listening to Meghan talk about Morgan, apparently they had been texting for a few hours before Morgan got to the house and Meghan felt the need to ask Tobin about every little message and what the meaning behind it was while Tobin tried to get herself ready. They ended up back in Tobin's room wear and outfit was shoved in her hands and she was kicked out to change in the bathroom while they decided on shoes. Before she knew it she was all ready to go.

 

Tobin turned and looked back in the mirror. She had on a simple light blue fitted dress shirt, and a pair of black pants. The group had decided that the blue looked best against her tanned skin, and she had to wear black pants because kakis made her looked like a twelve year old boy headed to church. To keep it casual she put on a pair of all black converse and let her hair down, but no hat. 

"I still think I should wear a vest." Tobin spun back around. "The last time I was there I saw people on a date, the guy had on a vest, he looked cool."

"No, hun vest are not cool." Alex said shaking her head. "You look great."

"I don't know, she might be right, a vest would look awesome." Meghan had her hand in her chin like she was studying her friend imagining her with a vest on. "It would complete the ensemble."

Morgan let out a little laugh. "No, it wouldn't. You only wear a vest with a suit."

"I'm just saying, that guy had on a vest and he was rocking it." Tobin replied.

Alex shook her head again this time covering her eyes with her hand. "Don't wear a vest, vest are hideous."

"You wore a vest the other day." Meghan called out.

Alex pointed her finger. "I wore a jean jacket with no sleeves."

"That's a vest." Meghan held her head high. "A jean vest."

"Oh my God they are so different." Alex protested.

"Okay no one is wearing a vest." Perry stepped in as the oldest in the room. She walked over and put her hands on her sisters shoulders. "Tobs, you look great, don't worry. You got this." 

Suddenly headlights flashed in the window, it meant Christen was pulling in the driveway. "Well now you have no choice. You can do this."

Her sister was right, she didn't have anytime left to freak out, Christen was hear and she needed to go meet her outside. She turned to her friends one more time and gave a nervous smile. Everyone gave her the thumbs up in unison and said encouraging words. 

Everyone stayed upstairs, they didn't want to freak Christen out by standing in the doorway when Tobin answered it, but by the four cars in the driveway it was pretty obvious people where at her house. Telling herself not to worry about all that Tobin made her way down the stairs and waited for Christen to knock on the door. As the bell chimed Tobin went to open the door, but when she did Striker came barking as loud as he could running full speed towards the door.

"Striker wait." Tobin called out but the dog was too excited and her went crashing into the door. He was barking and jumping up at the door his nails scratching as he jumped. "Striker calm down, it's just the door."

Perry heard the noise and came down the stairs and tried to get control of the giant dog. "Striker I swear you giant animal, you need to chill." She grabbed hold of his collar and pulled him back. "You are going to have to escape he is not going to settle down. Good luck, you got this."

Tobin nodded her head, and when she saw Perry had some kind of control over the excited dog she quickly opened the door and jumped out slamming it behind her before she heard a huge crash. She looked over at Christen who was standing, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in shock.

"Sorry, I should have told you not to ring the bell. He goes a little crazy with the bell." Tobin said rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. She noticed Christen in a knee length navy blue dress that flared out a little at the bottom. The straps where thin and showed off her shoulders, her hair was down and wavy and laid over one of her shoulders. "You look amazing."

Snapping out of her shocked state. "Oh, thank you." She looked at Tobin's and smiled. "You look pretty good yourself." She said stopping herself from telling Tobin how incredible she looked, she needed to have some kind of control over herself tonight. 

Tobin looked down nervously. "Thanks, I uh had a little help."

"Well you can tell..." She looked out at the cars in the driveway. "Kling, Alex, Morgan and maybe your sister, they did a good job."

She rubbed the back of her neck again. "Yeah I'll let them know."

 

The ride was simple enough, they didn't really talk about much. Tobin explained why her dog was such a freak when it came to the doorbell. She told her about her dad trying to change out the bell to a different sound but he only succeeded in making it louder so now Striker went even more crazy. That lead to Christen sharing funny stories about her own dogs and her dad's attempts to be handy around the house. As they talked Tobin realized that Meghan and Alex were right, the conversation was just flowing between them. Maybe she had nothing to worry about.

As the got to the restaurant Tobin opened the door for her and stood behind her as she talked to the hoists. Christen looked more than amazing. The dress was perfect on her, it had a black belt around the middle the contoured perfectly to her waist. She was wearing heels which made her a little taller than Tobin, but she didn't mind. The lights were low which made her eyes look more grey whenever she turned around and gave Tobin a quick smile. As they walked to the table Tobin was behind her, she could help but scan her body as she walked. She had no idea how she walked in the heels, but she liked it, a lot. 

 

The hostess lead them to a small table and set them up with some menus before leaving. Tobin opened her menu and out the corner of her eye she saw a couple at the table across from them, it was a man and woman who looked like they were having a good time. The guy had on a white shirt with a black vest. 

"Dammit." Tobin whispered to herself. 

Christen looked up from her menu. "Something wrong?"

"Uh, no." She laughed at herself for speaking too loudly. "Have you ever been here before?"

"Once with my family." Christen answered. "We ended up getting this cheese with wine in it, I don't suggest we get that one. Have you been here before?"

Tobin nodded her head. "Yeah with Kling, our parents brought us here to celebrate getting scholarships to UNC. I know the cheese you're talking about and I one hundred precent agree with you, we are not getting that one."

Christen smiled over at her, which sent chills up Tobin's spine. She had an amazing smile, her eyes squinted just a little which always served to make them a little darker, and that always sent a rush through Tobin´s body. She watched as Christen studied the menu, she would mouth the words to somethings as she read. She was so beautiful, the way her hair fell, the way her lips moved, just the way she was, everything about Christen was beautiful and Tobin wanted to spend the rest of the night just looking at her, but she couldn't she needed to talk.

"How was your day?" That was the first question on her list.

Looking up and setting her menu down Christen gave her another smile. "It was pretty good. My best friend Ali is coming at the end of summer to hang out before we go to school, so I was talking to her most of the day."

"That's cool." Tobin said making sure to add a thoughtful insight on the situation. "I bet you're excited to have her going with you to UNC."

Christen nodded her head. "Yeah I am. When I moved here it was so weird, you know not really having anyone to talk to. I'm so use to having her right there next to me, not being able to go to her house and sit around is so strange. LA is weird, a lot of it is apartments and and stuff, but we lived on the outskirts on the hills. Ali lived down the street, like four doors down, and our entire life we have been within a two minute distance of each other, and all of a sudden I am across the country from her and I can't just walk to her house."

"I can't imagine not being able to walk to Kling's house." Tobin said with a smile. "I'm so glad we are going to the same school. It was one of the biggest reasons I turned down Berkeley and a few other places."

"Berkeley, that's where Alex is going." Christen had no idea why she mentioned Alex the way she did. 

Tobin heard the tone of her voice, she needed Christen to know that Alex was not a threat to her, not even a little bit.

"Yeah, that's where Alex is going. She has become a really good friend, which is weird because I never thought she and I would ever talk. She has actually been an amazing help with everything. She helped me today... I was uh... super nervous about going out with you tonight."

Christen sat up a little straighter in the booth. "Why?"

"Because you're you." Tobin laughed a little as she said it. "I just... I want everything to go well because... because I like you."

A smile appeared on Christen face, she lowered her head a little to try to hide it, but Tobin could see it and it made her smile even more. "I like you too." She said when she could finally stop smiling long enough to get words out.

"Good." Tobin chuckled. "I'm not sure if that makes this easier or harder."

Now smiling at the incredible cuteness of Tobin Heath, Christen told herself that it made it a lot easier on her, but she could tell it made Tobin a little more anxious than before. "So what did Alex say to do?"

Tobin laughed a little to herself. "She said to not be nervous, and to not take out my notes."

"You have notes?" She put her hands together in excitement. "Do you have them with you? Can I see them?"

Tobin's heart started to beat a little harder. "Yes, yes and definitely not."

"No, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Christen reached across the table and touched her hand. "I would have taken notes too if Ali didn't talk to me all day. I like that you are prepared. I am a note taker, like to the extreme, you have no idea how my notebooks looked in school, color coded system and everything."

Now a little less embarrassed about the notes Tobin took out her phone. "Okay, but you can't laugh." 

"Oh I do not laugh about notes." Christen gave her a serious look.

Handing over her phone Tobin felt the need to explain her disorganized list. "They are questions to ask and topics to bring up that will spark conversation. I thought I would be so nervous that I wouldn't be able to think of anything so I wrote some stuff down." Tobin watched as Christen scanned through her phone.

"We are so talking about all of this." Christen said without taking her eyes off the phone.

"Uh-what?" Tobin reached over for her phone. "No way."

Christen pulled the phone away before she could reach it. "Uh-yeah way. You prepared, you did work, we need to put it to good use. Plus some of these are really good and I kind of want to know what your thoughts are."

"You can't be serious." Tobin let her head fall for a few seconds before looking back up through lowered eyebrows. 

It took Christen a moment to answer seeing the way Tobin was looking at her, the brown in her eyes going a little dark under the dim light. "I am deadly serious." She took a breath and scrolled to the top of the list. "You already asked me about my day so let's go to question two. Do you like your job?" She looked up at Tobin and flashed her a huge smile.

Now chuckling to herself Tobin decided to give in, Christen seemed determined to go with her list, and honestly she couldn't turn down Christen even if she wanted to. She settled into her seat, "Yeah it's pretty great. I love soccer so it's nice to do something that involves soccer. Plus sometimes when I am lucky I get to talk to a really pretty girl." _Damn Tobin that was smooth as hell. Keep that up._

 

The night went on, they talked to whole time. Tobin noticed how they didn't need to list in order to keep the conversation going. Every time one of them would say something the other would have something to say right back and it would go on for a long time without looking at the list, yet Christen still went through each topic making sure they hit even the bullet points and notes Tobin had made. As much as she was a little embarrassed by the list, she was happy she did it, the conversation may have flowed without it, but it made things interesting, it made the whole thing fun, and by the time they were on the chocolate and cake portion of their meal Tobin was no longer nervous.

"So your family and Kling's family must be really close." Christen said referring to the question about siblings.

"Yeah, we all pretty much do everything together. Her mom is like best friends with my mom, and our dads watch football and baseball together all the time. It's always felt like I've had two families. I mean I call her parents mom and dad, so its kind of like I have two families."

Christen nodded her head. "That's how we are with the Long's. I feel like I have two families. When we moved I think everyone was devastated, including my dad, not that he would ever show it."

"Why did you move here? I mean it was in the middle of your senior year." Tobin had asked the question casually but when she saw the way Christen reacted to it, she realized it was anything but a casual answer. "I'm sorry you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"No it's okay." She answered with a little smile. "My dad was the Assistant District Attorney for LA County. He prosecuted some bad people and my family started to receive threats. My dad thought it was better if we move. I had everything I needed to graduate, my last semester was going to be all fluff classes, so I took all my finals, filed for my diploma, we packed up our house and moved out here."

Tobin could tell the story was a hard one for her to tell. "So your dad prosecuted some mob people and you guys thought it was best to move to New Jersey?" She said trying to lighten the mood. It worked because Christen started to laugh.

"Yeah I know right." She stuck a straw berry in the dark chocolate before eating it. "My uncle has a law firm out here, its all real estate law, so no unsavory characters. It sucked because my dad had to practically learn a whole new field, but it was the right choice in the long run. As long a we are all safe."

"Yeah that's all that matters." Tobin nodded her head. "And don't worry, I was born and raised in Jersey, so I can keep you safe."

Christen gave her a huge smile. "Oh yeah?"

Tobin sat up straight in her seat. "Yup, I've never been in a fight before, but I'm confident if i ever needed to be in one the Jersey in me will kick in."

"What if the person is more Jersey than you are?"

"Then we are relying on our skills as runners."

 

The check came and Tobin insisted on paying even though she had to fight Christen on it for a few minutes. Soon they were walking out of the restaurant. As they were heading to the car still talking and laughing about the last things on the list Tobin felt her hand brush up against Christens, on instinct and sheer boldness Tobin took her hand and laced her fingers in. Christen didn't break her words she just held tight to Tobin's hand and kept talking.

They parked in a lot just a block up from the restaurant so they walked at a slow pace, Tobin intentionally slowing it down so she could hold Christens hand longer. When they finally got to the car they stood for a second looking at each other neither of them wanting to let go, but it was dark and getting late so reluctantly Tobin let go and allowed them to get into the car. 

As they were pulling out of the parking lot Christen reached over and grabbed her hand. Tobin could feel her heart beating in her chest, but it wasn't from nerves, she didn't feel like she was going to pass out or freak out or anything along those lines, in fact her heart wasn't beating fast, it was a normal pace, it was just hard in her chest. She took this as a sign that she was no longer nervous with Christen, instead she was comfortable. 

So the date had gone extremely well, way better than she could ever expect, whenever Tobin talked to Christen everything just felt real and natural like she never had anything to worry about. They had gone over every question on her list, but it wasn't forced, it was fun. Tobin realized that whenever they were alone everything always seemed to just work with them. It was perfect between them when she knew no one was watching, when no one was expecting anything out of her. The whole night felt like it did in the car when they took their road trip together, it was comfortable and familiar and made Tobin feel warm inside.  
   
As they sat in the car Christen explaining something about how she organized all her notes in school, the soft music play in the back ground, Tobin couldn’t help but look over at Christen. She was staring straight forward, talking lightly and laughing at herself, her eyes focused on the road. Tobin felt the warmth of the hand in hers, this is what she had wanted since the moment she met her. All Tobin wanted was to sit next to her, listening to her talk, her voice in it's fast but steady cadence, her eyes lit up, her lips in a smile as she talk, thats all Tobin could ever want. She could spend her life looking over at Christen Press, listening to her, holding her soft hand. Tobin decided in that moment she was going to do everything she could to make sure she could do this everyday.  
   
Christen looked over to the girl sitting next to her. “What?” she asked with a light laugh.  
   
“Nothing.” Tobin said looking away for only a second. “You just look really beautiful tonight.”  
   
Without looking over, because if she looked over she would lose all focus Christen responded. "Thank you, so do you.”  
   
"You have really beautiful eyes."

Christen looked over for a second, "Are you going to take that back?"

Tobin grabbed the hand in hers a little tighter. "No." She laughed. "I am so sorry about that. I was freaking out and you got the really bad end of my nerves."

"You don't ever need to be nervous with me." Christen said squeezing her hand. "I know that doesn't help, it's like telling someone to calm down whenever they are freaking out, but I want you to know that. I want you to know that there is pretty much nothing you can do to drive me away, so don't be so nervous."

Tobin opened her mouth to answer but before she could say anything there was a loud noise and the car started to go a little out of control. Christen got control quickly, stepping on the break.  
   
Tobin reached out putting her arm across the frightened girl. “Are you okay?” she asked with heavy breaths.  
   
Christens eyes were as big as saucers. “Yeah I think so. What happened?” she didn’t look around, there was no way she could, her heart was beating too fast, her eyes were focused ahead.  
   
Finally moving her hand from its protective position, Tobin looked out the window. “Looks like you popped a tire. It wasn’t a blow out, so it’s not that bad.”  
   
“A what?” Christen’s voice was high and still airy.  
   
“A blow out. That’s when the sidewalk pops, it’s pretty crazy.” Tobin took off her seatbelt. “It looks like it popped at the tread, so you can move the car to the side of the road.”  
   
“Are you sure.” Christen sounded so concerned.  
   
With a soft smile, she nodded her head. “Yeah, you need to get to the side so no one hits us.”  
   
Still shaking Christen stepped on the gas and steered the car slowly to the side of the road. When the car was in park and turned off Tobin got out to see what happened. Christen just watch as she calmly looked at the popped tire in the front of the car.  
   
“Should I call my dad?” Christen said as she got out the car.  
   
“No.” Tobin said simply. “Do you have a spare?”  
   
Christen nodded her head. “Yeah I think so, in the truck.”  
   
“Okay, put on your hazards and pop the trunk.” Tobin made her way to the back of the car.  
   
Christen did as she was instructed before making her way to the back of the car with Tobin who was moving things from the trunk. “What are you doing?”  
   
“Your spare is under the floor of your trunk.” Tobin said setting her gym bag on the ground and picking up the thin black board to reveal a tire and some tools. “See, you have a full size spare right here.”  
   
Christen stared at it like it was an object sent from space. “What are you going to do with it?”  
   
With a little chuckle she told her, “I’m going to change your tire.”  
   
Those green eyes got big again as she looked over to Tobin in shock. “You know how to do that?”  
   
“Yeah.” Tobin started taking things from the trunk. “Don’t you?”  
   
Still in shock Christen shook her head. “No way.”  
   
“Well then this is a good teaching moment.” Tobin said with a huge smile. “Come on I’ll show you what to do.” She moved the tools to the side the bad tire was on motioning for Christen to follow her. “The first thing you want to do is make sure the scene is safe. You need to be pulled all the way off the road and put your hazards on so other cars can see you. Luckily this road is pretty abandoned especially this time of night, so no cars should be coming down. Next we make sure we have all out tools.”  
   
Christen watched as Tobin put everything she needed next to the bad tire. Tobin rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and tied back her hair with the tie around her wrist. She bent down and motioned for Christen to come down with her.  
   
“That’s your spare tire obviously.” She aid pointing to the tire. “This is your tire iron, or lug wrench, whatever people want to call it. And this is your jack.” She looked to Christen as she said the name of everything to make sure she understood. Christen nodded her head with a serious look on her face. “Now that we have everything we need we can get to actually changing the tire. First you want to loosen the lugs on the bad tire.”  
   
Christen watched Tobin pick up the wrench and put it on the tire. “Wait, shouldn’t you jack it up first?”  
   
Tobin shook her head as she put the wrench on the first lug nut. “Nope. You want to break them loose while it’s on the ground, this way you still have traction. If you lift the car up then when you try to break it, the tire will just spin.” She went through each lug nut pushing down hard to break them loose but not taking them off.  
   
Christen watched her work, she couldn’t help but stare. She was interested in what Tobin was doing, but mostly she was interested in Tobin. The fact that the shy girl could do this was amazing. She watched as the muscles in her forearms tightened each time she pushed down on the wrench. She watch as she started to sweat just a little in the hot night air. She was concentrating on her so hard she didn’t even notice when Tobin starting talking to her again.  
   
“So the next part sucks, jacking it up.” She smiled as she grabbed the small black jack. “You want to look under and find the jack point.”  
   
“The jack point.” Christen repeated being brought out of her trance. “What’s the jack point?”  
   
Tobin bent down low. “It’s the point on the car where it’s safe to put the jack. By every tire should be a little notch were the jack fits perfectly.” As Christen got down lower with her Tobin looked over at her. “Don’t ruin your dress, I got it.”  
   
“I want to see.” Christen smiled over to her. “What if you’re not here next time? I need to know these things.”  
   
Not wanting to argue with her, because she was totally right, Tobin just smiled and pointed out the point where she was talking about. “Right here, the notch, that’s where the jack fits. Now we can start jacking it up.”  
   
She hooked the jack up showing Christen exactly how to use the type of jack she had. She started to twist the t-handle straining only when the car started to lift off the ground. Again Christen was looking at her, watching her arms flex as she worked. Tobin tried her best to work without straining to much, the job wasn’t hard, but she wanted to make it look extra easy.  
   
“You don’t want to go to high, that’s unsafe.” She pointed to the tire that was now an inch off the ground. “That’s good enough to take it off.” She went over and took off the lug nuts. “Usually you can just take these off, but if they are stuck you can give it a little kick with your heel.” She explained as she pulled on the tire. The busted rubber and the dirty metal wheel came off with only a little effort. “See we got lucky today.” She laughed a little putting the busted tire to the side. 

She walked just past Christen brushing against her arm a little, sending a chill up her spine. "We can put the new tire on now." She rolled the tire over to the front and picked it up. "The only thing you have to do is line up the lugs with the holes, then push it on, easy." She said as she pushed the tire on. She grabbed a few lug nuts and started threading them on. "Now that everything is on we can start tightening it down." She waved her hand indicating she want Christen to come closer. When the shy girl was close enough to see everything she continued on in her instruction. "You want to tighten in a star pattern, start at the top then move to bottom right, then middle left, followed by middle right, then bottom left, then back to the top. Do that twice."

"Why the star pattern." Christen had a good idea why but she wanted Tobin to continue talking, she liked hearing the slow cadence of her voice. 

Tobin was tightening the lugs as she spoke. "So they are even. If you just go around in a circle you won't get them even. This way we know everything is tight." She did her second round of the lug nuts then looked over to Christen who was standing dangerously close to her and she tried her hardest not to smile over the top, but it was hard with the lavender scent coming off her. "Now we can lower the car."

Tobin went and started to lower the jack, doing what she did before, jus the opposite, and again Christen watched her work. She had her back slightly towards her so Tobin couldn't see her eyes trace her arms. 

When the car was lowered Tobin went over to the tire again. "We do the tightening one more time now that we have traction and some resistance. This way we know for sure it's on there tight." She began to go around the tire in the star pattern one more time. "My dad says there is a special wrench that tells you exactly how tight it is, but that's not necessary here because we should have enough strength to tighten it down all the way." She stood up with the wrench I her hand. "See all good. Now we just have to clean up."

Together they picked up the tools and the old tire and put them in the trunk. Tobin set everything down so the floor board of the trunk would lay flat, then she put the gym bag back in the trunk. As she closed the lid she dusted off her hands on her pants, happy that she was wearing black and it wouldn't really show the dirt. 

"Tire changed." She looked up to Christen. 

Without any indication Christen leaned in and kissed her. As Tobin felt those soft lips touch hers, she was a little taken back, but she caught herself quickly, and leaned in deepening the kiss. She reached up and put her hands on Christens hip, pulling her in a little closer. It was hot outside, the air was damp, she was sweaty from working, she wasn't expecting this at all, but despite all of that this was the beset moment of her life. Her head was spinning, her heart was racing, her hands were shaking a bit, but she was steady, kissing Christen, finally kissing Christen.

As they pulled away from each other Tobin opened her eyes to see Christen still had hers closed, but a smile was on her face. As her eyes opened Tobin could swear she almost got weak in the knees, the light from the street lamps forcing the grey in her eyes to shine bright. Tobin had to take a literal deep breath to keep herself from passing out.

Christen looked over to her and smiled. "I hope that was okay."

"Yeah." Tobin said trying to gain some kind of control over herself. "That was more than okay... I've been wanting to do that for a long time."

Her head lowered shyly Christen shifted her weight a little. "I've been wanting to do that for a long time too." She looked up at Tobin through eyelashes. "I'm sorry I ruined Wednesday."

Shocked by the statement Tobin shook her head. "No, you didn't ruin anything."

"Yeah I kind of did." She chuckled a little. "You asked me out. I was so afraid that wasn't what it was. I was scared that you just wanted to be my friend. I freaked myself out. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Tobin said quickly. "I wasn't very good at it, you know asking you out." She laughed at herself. 

Christen reached out and placed her hand on Tobin's bicep. "No you were. I was nervous."

Tobin lowered her eyebrows. "But why?"

Now even more anxious Christen looked away. "Because I'm not Alex."

That sent a shock through Tobin. She had really messed up everything with her date. Now she had to make sure she made everything better. She needed Christen to know once and for all that she had no interest in being with Alex, all she wanted was her. "I don't want you to be Alex." She grabbed Christens hands, lowering her head just enough to meet Christens down castes eyes. "I don't want you to be anyone but you. I screwed up when I went out with Alex. I was so nervous about you. I kept thinking there was no way a girl like you would ever want to be with me. I kept thinking about how much I liked you, because its a whole lot, let me tell you. It scared me. I've never liked anyone but Alex, I've never even thought about it before, but there you were, just standing there, staring me in the face, and I was so crazy about you. I don't know, I think I went temporarily insane or something because I convinced myself you would never want to be with me, so I panicked and went out with Alex. I don't regret it, I just wish I wouldn't have done it and made you feel any kind of pain. I am so sorry I hurt you, I don't ever want to do it again."

Christen threw her arms around Tobin's neck squeezing her tight. She spoke with her face buried in her neck. "It's okay. Everything is okay now."

With her arms wrapped around Christen's waist, Tobin held on tight, she didn't want to let go, and for the first time she didn't have to. They stood for a minute just holding each other, both of them happy to finally be able to do it without worry. It was hard for both of them to let go, but Christen was the one to pull away.

"Tobin, I really like you." Her arms were still sitting on her shoulders, her fingers laced behind her neck.

"I really like you too." She replied, she still had her arms around her waist.

This time it was Tobin was the one who leaned in and captured Christens lips. She pulled her in close, and in the moment she realized she wanted to kiss her forever. By the way Christen smiled when the kiss broke Tobin had a good idea that maybe she wanted to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you do not want to read some Talex goodness then do not go on to the next chapter, but if you do then go on with your bad self.
> 
> Side note if you don't know how to change a tire those are the actual steps. certified mechanic here. You're welcome.


	14. Cheeburger Cheeburger (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kling finally talk about what they have been fighting about. Alex asks Tobin to bring Kling out to dinner so they can get to know each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Talex version of the story. If you are looking for Preath you have gone too far. If you are in it for some Talex then you've come to the right place.
> 
> As always thank you for the love it means more than you know. Ignore those typos they seem to always make their way in there some how.

It was No Soccer Friday, Tobin woke up to her mom calling on her. She finally got home around 2:30 in the morning and she immediately texted Alex letting her know she had made it, of course the next thirty minutes was them texting back and forth about their night. Tobin had only been a girlfriend for a day but she was doing pretty well, at least that's what Alex told her. Honestly if she managed to make Alex smile, and not screw the whole thing up that was a win, but she would take the compliment. Things were going well in her life so far, except one very important thing. She looked down at her phone, hoping to see a message from her best friend but she didn't.

"Tobin are you awake?" Her mom shouted up the stairs. 

Her head was a little foggy from lack of sleep, it was nine in the morning which meant she only really got like five hours of sleep. "Yeah I'm up." She shouted plopping down on her pillows. Why was she being woken up, no one ever woke her up, well maybe that was because she was always awake by like seven.

"Meghan is downstairs." Her mom called back.

Tobin popped up. Meghan was downstairs, she was here. "Coming." She said loud enough for everyone downstairs to hear her. 

Quickly she got out of bed, she was still in the shirt form last night, but she did manage to change into a pair of boxers. For some reason she felt nervous. Why? It was only Meghan, she had seen her in the worst clothes imaginable why was she suddenly compelled to put on clothes. She threw on a black tank top and a pair of red running shorts, then put her hair up in a bun. She looked in the mirror, staring for a second at the photo of them from Wildwood, then took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and headed out her room.

Meghan was standing in halfway in the living room and halfway in the entrance of the house, her back against the wall. She was talking to Tobin's mom about work when she heard footsteps on the stairs. She looked up and saw Tobin coming down, her heart started to pound in her chest. She hadn't seen her best friend in a day and she hadn't said more than a few words to her in days. She was nervous, Tobin had stopped on the steps and given her a little wave. Yeah she was nervous but she could do this.

As Tobin came down the stairs she told her mom that they would talk outside. The two best friends went outside and sat on the steps of the porch, neither of them knowing what to say. The stared out at the street for a while, shifting in their seats. It was Meghan who finally found the words to say.

"Why are we fighting?" She asked hoping to find out what Tobin was thinking.

Tobin looked out in front of her too nervous to look over to her friend. "You're upset with me. I don't know why."

Silence washed over them again. Meghan wasn't ready to say what she needed to say, she wasn't ready to admit why she was so upset. 

"It's no soccer Friday." She said causally.

Tobin nodded her head. "Yeah it is."

"You wanna go for a run?" She looked over to her friend with wide eyes. "Maybe to the school."

Tobin didn't know what to say, she was as freaked out to talking to Meghan as she had been to talk to Alex. The whole situation made her uneasy, she wanted to know why Meghan was so upset with her, but she just couldn't find a way to ask again.

"Yeah okay, let me get my shoes." Tobin said standing up and going into the house.

 

They started to run taking the long way to the school. They ran in silence, only music from Meghan's phone there to keep the sound of the town from creeping up on them. As they got closer to the school neither of them knew who started to speed up first but one of them did and the other started to run faster too. Before they knew it they were both in an all out sprint trying to reach the school track before the other. As they got to the edge of the track, Tobin reaching it first they stopped running and both bent over with their hands on their knees trying to find some oxygen.

"Why did you race me?" Tobin asked through heavy breaths.

Meghan looked over at her. "I didn't race you. You raced me."

"What, no I didn't." Tobin stood up straight and put her hands on her head. "I was just running, you started running faster."

"I thought that was you." Meghan was leaning against the bench near the track. "I want to die, my heart is going to explode. I need to sit."

Tobin went over and grabbed her arm picking her up off the bench. "No, you can't sit, or your heart will really explode. We need to walk, come one." She dragged her to the track and they started walking around. 

After almost a full lap Tobin finally spoke up. "Why are you so mad at me?"

"You chose the wrong girl." Meghan blurted out. 

Tobin took a deep breath. "No I didn't. Look I never meant to hurt Chris. I know you two are close now but you know me, I never meant to do anything that would cause her any pain. It's just, Alex was there, and she's Alex."

"Yeah but Chris is Chris." She was trying not to shout but her voice was raised. "I just don't understand what happened."

"I had every intention of asking Chris out. I wanted to see where my feelings for her were going to go, but Alex showed up. You can't help who is going to show up in your life at what time. It was just time." She had no idea if she was explaining it right, but she was trying. "I just don't understand why it bothers you so much."

"It doesn't. I mean it does, I don't know. I guess I'm upset with myself." She lowered her head and started to turn one of her hands over in the other. 

Tobin looked over to her friend. "Why would you be upset with yourself? You didn't do anything."

"But I did." She could feel the pain and anger she felt starting to come out. "I told Chris to go after you. I told her that you liked her. I told her that you two could be together. I tried to help her. I pushed her. I am the reason she is hurting so much. If I would have just left it alone, maybe... maybe she wouldn't hurt so much."

Now she understood why Meghan was so upset. "That wasn't your fault. Kling you couldn't have predicted Alex walking into that store. You couldn't have predicted how I would react to her. This wasn't your fault. You were just trying to be a good friend to me and Chris."

"I just feel like such an asshole. I really thought you two would be so good together." She walked into the grass and sat down.

Following her friend Tobin went over and sat down in the grass. "Maybe we would have been, in another life, in a different version where Alex never showed up. But this is how it is now, and I know I didn't pick the wrong girl. Chris is amazing, I really want to be her friend. I think she is going to be incredibly important in my life, in our lives, but I think it's just as a friend."

Looking up at her she gave the first smile of the day. "You really like Alex?"

Tobin gave the second smile of the day. "Yeah I really do. She's amazing."

"Okay then I'll give her a chance." she picked a piece of grass off the field and threw it at her friend. 

Tobin picked some grass off the ground and threw it at her best friend. "I'm sorry we fought."

"Me too." She looked over at her. "I really missed you."

"Missed you too."

Meghan stood up and dusted the grass off her shorts as Tobin stood up with her. "So tell me all about Alex."

"Dude she is amazing. She is so energize all the time, and super funny. She says the craziest things all the time. And she is smart, and super nice. And she kisses me at random."

"Wait you've kissed her?" Meghan was pissed at herself for missing out on getting the details of their first kiss. 

"I've kissed her several times. It's pretty much the coolest thing in the world." Tobin was so happy to finally be talking to her best friend about everything. This was the first time she could truly be happy about her relationship. 

Together they walked across the field, it was nice to be together again, finally. Meghan still felt uneasy about Tobin and Alex, but she needed to find a way to be okay. She walked ahead of her best friend and sat down on the bench. She told herself she was ready to move on an just be a team again but her mind was still turning ideas around in her head.

They sat on the bench overlooking the field. They had sat here so many times. There was a point in their high school lives when they ate lunch out here. Tobin just wanted to be close to the field, smell the grass. She was so amazed by the vastness of it all, the gravity of playing on her high school team, she wanted to spend all the time she could knowing every inch of it and of course Meghan was always right beside her. They were always beside each other, standing side by side but always having each other’s backs. The time they spent apart was almost torturous, neither of them really knowing who they were without the other, but now they were together again, looking out over their field.  
   
“She makes you happy.” Meghan said filling the silence that fell between them. It wasn’t a question it was a statement, she knew the answer even if she didn’t see her the whole time she knew Tobin was happy.  
   
With a slow head nod Tobin looked over to her best friend. “She makes me happy.”  
   
“Then I am happy.” She leaned her body over just enough to give Tobin a little push.  
   
As much as Meghan wanted to protest more, not for Tobin’s sake but for her own guilt of hurting Christen, she knew that there was no use. Tobin never wanted to hurt Christen, it wasn’t in her, Tobin had as pure a heart as you could possibly have. The guilt she felt weighing heavy on her shoulders was all her own, and it would only go away when she truly got Christen’s forgiveness. Yes they were friends, they were closer than ever, but she never actually apologized for pushing her, that was something she needed to do.  
   
“Did you get out of shape these past few days?” The shorter girl jumped up off the bench needing to take herself out of her thoughts.  
   
Tobin stood up with her. “I actually practiced and ran. Did you?”  
   
“Let’s not talk about it.” Meghan laughed. “Come on, let’s see what you got.”  
   
They both took off running towards the center of the field. Finally after days of missing each other they were back to their real routine. The entire time they were laughing and joking. Meghan filled Tobin in on the games she missed while they were apart. She told her all the details of how they kicked ass on the field. Tobin told Meghan about her date, how Alex held her hand, how they watched the fire at the processing plant, how Alex laid on her chest. They had so much to catch up on. Every few sprints they would stop for a minute and tell each other a detail they had forgot to mention. Finally after a few hours of running, push-ups, sit-ups and some half assed pull-ups on the bars next to the track, they decided to call it a day and head back to Tobin’s house for lunch.  
   
On their slow walk back through the neighborhood Tobin felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She took it out and read the text from Alex.  
   
-What are you up to?-  
   
Quickly she texted back. –Hanging out with Kling.-  
   
There was hardly five seconds before a response came back, a line of smiley face emojis and fireworks. –Yaayaa you two are friends again!! Good it was killing me.-  
   
Tobin smiled at her screen. –You? What about me?-  
   
-Yeah you too.-…-Hey let’s have dinner tonight. You, me, Kling and Moe.-  
   
Tobin looked over to Meghan who had her face buried the screen of her phone as well. She didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but she also didn’t know how to approach the situation lightly so she just dove into it head first.  
   
“Lex wants to have dinner tonight.” Tobin said in one breath.  
   
Meghan looked over to her one eyebrow in the air. “With me?”  
   
“Yup, just you.” Tobin smiled. “No with us, and Morgan.”  
   
“Brian?” Meghan asked her voice going higher than she intended.  
   
“No Freeman.” Tobin laughed. “Yeah Morgan Brian, her best friend.”  
   
Her face turning red Meghan tried to play it off. “Why?”  
   
Noticing how nervous her friend was getting Tobin soften her tone. “She wants to get to know you, and I want you to get to know her.”  
   
“I know Alex.” Meghan said with a slight smile.  
   
“No I want you to know her, not the Lex from high school.” Tobin was the only one between them that knew Alex was a totally different person than the one they saw in school. “Please do this for me.”  
   
Tobin didn’t ask for a lot of things. She never asked Meghan to do anything outrageous or strange. She never asked her to step out of her comfort zone. In her heart Meghan wanted to say no. She knew if she went and got to know Alex, she would see that she was really cool and that would only make Meghan like her which felt a little like a betrayal to Christen who she now had a fierce bond with. But, then again, not getting to know Alex was a kick in the face to Tobin whom she loved with all her heart. She thought about what Christen told her in the car, how she needed to get use to Alex if she wanted to be Tobin’s friend, well Meghan was already Tobin’s friend, her best friend, so she needed to get to know Alex.  
   
“Okay.” She said with a little hesitation in her voice. “But why is Morgan going?” she needed to know why the only girl that could reduce her to a blubbering mess was tagging along.  
   
The real answer, the Alex answer was because they were trying to get Morgan and Meghan together, something Tobin had not signed onto 100% just yet. But Alex was trying to do it, and was confident, and they were together so the tasked turned into a ‘we’ thing, and as much as Tobin’s skepticism seemed to rule her life, she liked the sound of the word ‘we’ when it rolled off her girlfriends tongue. Plus Morgan was an awesome person, she was kind and smart, and Tobin knew Alex would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship she and Meghan had, so she decided to go with it, for now.  
   
“She wants me to get to know Morgan.” Tobin lied a little, she did need to get to know Morgan, but that wasn’t the whole reason. “We all need to get to know each other.”  
   
Now even more nervous than she was before Meghan took a deep breath and let it out in a loud groan. “Fine.” She said turning her head up and shaking her arms out. “Let’s get dinner.”  
   
“You’ll be alright.” Tobin laughed at her friend comically over reacting. “It’ll be fun, Lex is really great, she is so much different than I even imagined.”  
   
Meghan looked over to her and gave a cheeky smile. “Is _Lex_ super awesome?”  
   
“Shut up.” Tobin gave her a push, then took off running.  
   
“I thought we were done training.” Meghan called out as she broke into a run to catch up.  
   
\--  
   
They had made it home and ate a light lunch, neither of them wanted to fill up before they went out to dinner. They had planned on watching the highlights to all the NWSL games before the showered and got ready, but when they got into Tobin’s room they passed out on her bed after just one video. They were both exhausted and needed the nap, but when they woke up it was almost 6:00 and they needed to be at Alex’s house by 6:30, so they panicked.  
   
Meghan rushed out the house running through the woods to get to her house to shower and change. After one of the fastest showers she had ever taken she rummaged through her closet to find something that wouldn’t make her look like an idiot. Luckily for her, she was not Tobin and actually had nice clothes. She settled on a light grey short sleeved button up and black skinny jeans paired with her classic black Dr. Matins that she had been breaking in for the last two years and were just now starting to get comfortable. She took one look in the mirror, ran her fingers through her short hair, sprayed some body spray across her chest, then took a deep breath to calm her now buzzing nerves.  
   
No matter what she was going to be nervous, she was about to have dinner with Morgan Brian, the only girl in the world that knew how to render her speechless. The last time she spoke to her she turned down her party invitation, and then never spoke to her again, she still kicked herself for that moment. But now she was going to be able to redeem herself, that or make a complete fool of herself. She looked down at her watch, Tobin was going to be here in a few minutes, she needed to stop worrying and just get it together.  
   
Outside, she saw Tobin pull up to her driveway. Meghan said good night to her parents and headed out to her best friend’s car. As she got in she noticed what Tobin was wearing. “Wow, where did you get that?”  
   
Tobin was wearing a red and black flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up just below her elbow. Her jeans were light blue and had a small rip in the left leg, one that was put in there by the jeans maker and not Tobin falling off her long board.  
   
She gave her friend a quick smile. “I went shopping.”  
   
“Without me?” she fake offense.  
   
Tobin laughed as she reversed the car. “Yeah, Perry took me.”  
   
“Well you look good. We might need to ditch these two and go hang out.” Meghan raised her eyebrows playfully.  
   
Now cracking up Tobin tried to focus on the road. “If this goes south I’ll take you up on that.”  
   
As the drove to Alex’s house Tobin filled Meghan in on her shopping trip with her sister. She told her how close she and Perry were getting now, and all the advice she had given her when it came to Alex. Even though it sucked a little that Tobin was getting help from someone other than her, Meghan knew how much her friend wanted to be close with her sisters, she was happy that it was finally happening.  
   
They got to Alex’s house, and stood outside by the car as Alex came out.  
   
“Tobin Heath.” Alex called out as she came down the steps to her porch. She walked over and gave Tobin a quick kiss. “You are early, as per usual.” She looked over to Meghan and gave her a huge smile. “Hey Kling, it’s good to finally see you.”  
   
Meghan nodded with a closed lipped smile. “Yeah you too.”  
   
Tobin knew the two were going to be a little uncomfortable with each other at first. Meghan didn’t really want to be here and she couldn’t blame Alex for being upset that Meghan never wanted them to date. She could only hope that somehow Alex would just be her charming self, Meghan would be her happy self, and they would find a way to get along.  
   
“Morgan is almost always annoyingly on time so she should be here in a few minutes.” Alex told them. She let her hand fall next to her girlfriends lacing her fingers in and holding loosely.  
   
Tobin could tell by the way Alex was holding her hand that she was nervous. They had not held hands a whole bunch of times, but when they did Alex always held tight, now she seemed almost like she needed Tobin to reassure her that everything was okay, so Tobin tightened her hand. Alex looked over to her and smiled lightly squeezing her hand, letting her know she understood what Tobin was trying to say.  
   
Before anyone could say another word, a blue car pulled into the driveway. Morgan popped her head out the drivers side. “Am I going to block your mom in?”  
   
“Your spare is on my keychain in the house, it’ll be alright.” Alex yelled back.  
   
With that Morgan shrugged her shoulders and went in the car to shut it off and grab her stuff. She walked over to the group a huge smile on her face. “Hey ya’ll.”  
   
“Hey.” Tobin said with a little wave. She looked over to Meghan who seemed to be speechless in the presence of the southern girl. “So where are we headed?”  
   
Alex almost jumped at the question. “Cheeburger Cheeburger.”  
   
Meghan looked over to her best friend who was luckily as confused as she was. “What’s Cheeburger Cheeburger?”  
   
With a quick step back and a little shove to Tobin’s side Alex exclaimed. “You two have never been to Cheeburger Cheeburger?”  
   
Tobin shook her head and looked back and forth between her girlfriend and her best friend. “No, what is it?”  
   
Alex and Morgan turned to each other and started to have a conversation in a low voice, though it was obviously loud enough for the two other girls to hear.  
   
“They’ve never been to Cheeburger Cheeburger.” Alex said her head turned a little.  
   
“I was excited to go, but I didn’t know we were bringing Cheeburger Cheeburger virgins.” Morgan said matching her tone.  
   
“Do we even want to go now?”  
   
“I am not skipping Cheeburger Cheeburger.”  
   
“Yeah but this is a lot of responsibility.”  
   
Morgan put her hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Yes, but with great power…”  
   
“Comes great responsibility.” She gave her a little smile.  
   
They nodded their heads in unison, then turned with sly smiles on their faces. “Okay we are ready.” Alex said.  
   
Tobin nodded with wide eyes. “You two are weird.”

They all stood in awkward silence waiting for the other to speak. It was Alex, her energized nature, that finally said something.

"Who's driving?" She looked around to everyone, it was obviously not her.

Tobin shrugged her shoulders. "I can drive, if you tell me where to go."

Alex tugged on her sleeve a little giving her a smile. "It's in Englishtown."

"Englishtown?" Tobin questioned.

Alex gave her a serious look. "Englishtown."

"To Englishtown!" Tobin shouted thrusting her hand into the air. She spun around and opened the passenger door motioning for Alex to jump in.

Meghan watched as Alex got into the car, into her seat. The passengers seat in Tobin's car has always been reserved for her, she has sat there since the moment Tobin got the car. Now Alex was sitting there watching Tobin walked around the front. Alex was in her seat.

As Meghan got in the backseat, for the first time ever, she found her anger subsiding a bit when Morgan was suddenly sitting next to her. Morgan was looking over to her with a hopeful look like she wanted Meghan to say something, but that was impossible, at least right now it was impossible. But she couldn't just not do anything so she gave a weak smile and hoped it would serve to say everything she wanted to say but couldn't.

As Tobin started the car Alex pushed the buttons on the radio, Meghan watched in disbelief as Alex synched her phone to the Bluetooth in Tobin's car and put on a song. Not only did she take her seat but she took her job as Tobin's passenger and was playing DJ. Meghan had to swallow the anger that was building up inside her, she couldn't say anything. This was the first time they were hanging out and she at least had to try and give Alex a shot.

"So are y'all excited about going to UNC?" Morgan spoke up, she was a dress the two of them but she was looking over to Meghan.

A little frozen by the fact that the girl next to her was actually talking to her, and she knew something about her Meghan found herself again silent she though she was expected to speak. Tobin looked through the rear view mirror to match eyes with Meghan. Still frozen in silence Meghan gave her a look that basically said 'dude I have taken all questions for you since the beginning of time, it time for you to take one for me.' Luckily Tobin caught the hint.

"Yeah we can't wait." She said in a chipper voice. "Are you excited about Virginia?"

Morgan now focused her eyes upfront. "Yeah I'm so excited. I would be even more excited if my best friend wasn't so selfish and decided to leave me."

"Hey now." Alex laughed turning a bit to see her friend in the backseat. "You could have come to Cali with me."

"Whatever I am no longer bitter." Morgan replied with a light laugh. "You and I will be together in four years when we go to Huston."

"Uh-you mean when we play for Orlando." Alex corrected.

Tobin started to laugh, she hadn't realized the two best friends like different NWSL teams. "Man sounds like you guys will never play together again."

"Oh we will." Morgan sat up in the chair. "As soon as she realizes its all about The Dash."

"Didn't seem like it was about The Dash when Seattle beat them 2-0 last week." Tobin said smartly.

"Hey we don't talk about that." Morgan raised her voice in a playful way. 

Tobin looked back for a moment with a huge grin. "Do we talk about the hurting they are going to get when they play Portland?"

"Lex, you need to get your girl." Morgan laughed.

Alex reached over and put her hand on Tobin's arm. "Don't beat up on her too much babe."

Both Alex and Morgan started to talk back and fourth about stats and team standings. The two friends sounded just like Tobin and Meghan whenever they talked, normally Tobin would be right there defending Nadia Nadim's playing style but she was caught up with one thing: Alex called her babe. Was that a thing now? Was she babe now? When did this happen? She had no idea when she transitioned into babe, but she liked it.

Meghan had heard it to, the slick way Alex called her best friend babe, she saw Tobin's eyes light up and it made the already frustrated girl angry. Who was this girl? It had only been like a week and some change and she was already touching her arm, kissing her in driveways and calling her babe. She had been in their lives for less than half a second and her phone was synced to the car and she was sitting in her seat. And Tobin was just letting it happen. What was going on?

"Y'all are Portland fans right?" Morgan was now talking directly to Meghan giving her no chance to back out of the question.

With a hard swallow Meghan finally spoke up. "Uh yeah we are."

"Yeah we'll be playing for them in four years." Tobin said with a huge smile. 

"Or, you'll be with me in Orlando." Alex laughed a bit, then reached over and put her hand on Tobin's leg.

Awestruck Tobin couldn't get a worded answer out, she just nodded her head and gave a goofy grin. 

Meghan could feel the heat rising. Was she joking? "No, Tobin and I are going to get an apartment together in Portland, just like we are rooming together at UNC. That's been the plan since the sixth grade." Her words came out a little harsh and she saw Tobin look at her through the rear view mirror. Realizing what she had said, or more so how she had said it, Meghan took a deep breath. "We can't change our plans, we wrote them down and laminated it."

"Are you serious?" Morgan laughed a little. "Did you really?"

Meghan nodded her head. "Well we put clear tape over it, we were in the sixth grade we didn't have access to a laminator."

Tobin watched the little smile creep on her friends face, the other two girls were laughing. "Hey you laugh, but that thing is still hanging on Kling's mirror in her room."

"That's so cute." Alex said giving Tobin's leg a little squeeze.

Morgan sat up and slapped Alex's arm. "Maybe I should have made you do that, then you wouldn't be abandoning me for California."

"Or is it you who is abandoning me for Virginia?" Alex smiled.

Everyone started to laugh, everyone except Meghan who gave a smile that Tobin could read even from the view in the mirror. Her best friend was uncomfortable and upset, but whatever for was a mystery. 

As they made it to the restaurant everyone got out of the car and headed towards the entrance. Tobin grabbed Meghan's arm and pulled her back towards the car, telling Alex and Morgan to go ahead and go inside, they would follow them in a second. She didn't want to make things awkward but she needed to know why Meghan was so upset.

"What's wrong?" Tobin asked once she was sure the other two girls were out of earshot. 

Meghan shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing, why?"

Knowing her friend was lying Tobin pushed her hands in her pockets, a thing she did when she was trying not to be nervous, though she had no idea why she would be. "You just seem upset."

"What would I have to be upset about?" For the second time in just a few minutes her words came out harsher than she intended.

Tobin lowered her head not wanting to ask the next question because she was afraid of the answer. "Do you not like Alex or something?"

Meghan could see the hurt in her eyes, the way she was silently pleading for her to say something other than what she truly wanted to say. Knowing Tobin, knowing how nervous she got, knowing how devastated she would be if Meghan told her the truth she decided to keep it all to herself. 

"I don't know her yet, but I am trying." Meghan said knowing it wasn't enough. "She really likes you."

Tobin lowered her head a bit, not able to contain the smile that came on her face. "I really like her too Kling, like a lot."

"Then lets stop being weird and go eat some greasy burgers." She gave Tobin's shoulder a little slap, and did her best to smile in a way that would make Tobin feel better. 

As they got into the restaurant Alex and Morgan were engaged in a conversation with the hostess. It seemed more and more that the two friends were almost he opposite of Tobin and Meghan. They both were so energized. Morgan seemed to direct all that into concentrated questions, and thoughtful answer, while Alex seemed to not be able to channel it into anything more but pure happiness and a lot of words streamed together to pass as a sentence. Meghan noticed they way she would look over to Tobin when she said something as if to see if Tobin was agreeing with her. Morgan didn't do that, maybe she would if she had someone to look over too. Maybe Meghan could be that someone, she found herself wondering what it would be like to have those soft brown eyes looking over at her expectantly. She found herself smiling at the thought despite still being terrified of the idea of Morgan even talking to her, and despite still being a little upset about Alex. Maybe she should focus on Morgan, talking to her, listening to her, finding out things about her instead of on Alex and the fact that she was now holding Tobin's hand and dragging her down the aisle in the restaurant.

As the hostess lead them to there booths, Meghan had expected to sit where she always sat, right next to Tobin, but found herself shocked that Alex took her seat yet again. Every time they had gone out to eat with their families Meghan sat next to Tobin. They liked to talk and no one really wanted to hear what they were saying because it was all soccer all the time, so they sat next to each other where they could whisper instead of disturbing everyone. But now she was basically forced into the seat across from Tobin, who again seemed to not noticed the change in their normal routine. 

Tobin took her seat looking over at Alex as she sat down next to her. Alex looked over seeing her girlfriend staring over at her with a smile on her face, she leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, which served to turn Tobin speechless yet again. Alex had scooted close in the booth seating, letting her leg press against Tobin's, there was that constant contact again.

A boy with close cut blonde hair and big green eyes came up to the table. "Welcome to Cheeburger Cheeburger, can I start you off with some drinks?" He gave the table a huge white smile, focusing for a few seconds on Alex, before looking at the rest of the group.

Everyone ordered water at Morgan and Alex's request because they were going to get shakes with their burgers, and the boy was off, but not without flashing Alex a smile again. 

Alex took one of the menus that was set out in front of them and opened it up leaning into to Tobin so they both could read. "See this place is basically a build your own burger place, you get to pick everything."

Tobin was trying to focus on what Alex was saying but she had a hard time when Alex was so close to her, and she smelled like honey and cinnamon and happiness and she just wanted to sit right there like that forever and take in that scent. But she couldn't because Alex looked over to her, those huge blue eyes wide waiting for an answer to the question that she had asked but Tobin totally missed. 

"What?" Tobin asked with a smile. 

Alex shook her head. "I asked if you knew what you wanted."

"Oh-uh." She quickly looked down at he men. "Not yet, let me read it again."

"Okay, you an take the menu, I already know what I want." She scooted the menu over to Tobin, then let her hands fall under the table where her left hand drifted to Tobin's leg resting softly right above her knee.

Great! Now how was she supposed to concentrate on the menu when Alex was touching her again? She couldn't and she wouldn't. Tobin took a breath and focused on not hyperventilating from the fact that Alex's thumb was moving back and fourth on her jeans.

Meghan watched her best friend as her eyes darted back and fourth, she was not paying attention to the menu, there was no way, so Meghan made a silent note to herself to make sure she knew something Tobin would want. 

"Teriyaki burger." Meghan said with some interest. 

"That one is really good." Morgan was doing her best to make some kind of conversation happened between them. "Pair it with the brownie milkshake, I know that sounds weird, but it works."

Looking over and seeing some kind of hope in her eyes Meghan nodded her head. "Okay, I'll trust you."

The waiter returned with their waters in hand setting them down, Alex's last as he gave her another smile. "So do we know what we want to order?"

Morgan went first ordering something she made up on her own, and asking for a chocolate strawberry milkshake. Meghan ordered the combination that was suggested to her, giving Morgan a quick smile after she was done. Alex ordered something extremely complicated that honestly sounded disgusting, and asked for a milkshake that had too many ingredients for anyone to keep up with. Then it was Tobin's turn and she looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Uh-I am not sure." She gave a shy smile.

This was exactly what Meghan was preparing for. "Dude, pizza burger." 

Tobin looked up at her then down to the menu. She read over the ingredients and nodded her head. "Yeah pizza burger."

"Would you like a milkshake too." The guy asked.

 _Fuck._ Tobin tried to look at the shake menu quickly but there were so many choices her mind was going blank.

"Dude, root beer float, for sure." Meghan said with a little smile.

Tobin smiled. "Yeah root beer float." She looked over to Meghan, her eyes wide thanking her for saving her once again.

The waiter laughed a bit. "Okay anything else?"

"Nah that should be it." Alex spoke for the table.

"Well I would say I'll be back in a minute but I feel like I'm going to have to explain your order." He said looking over to Alex.

Alex laughed her head going back a little. "There's no way that's your most complicated order."

"Not the most complicated, just the strangest." He gave her a quick smile. "But that's okay, keeps it interesting." With another giant white smile he was off.

Tobin had managed to get a little use to the hand that was still placed on her leg. She decided for the first time in her life to fill the silence that had creeped up on them. "Where do you work, Morgan."

"With my dad in his hardware store." She answered. "It was either that or selling paper clips with Lex."

"Which you should be doing, that's what a true friend would do."

"Oh whatever." Morgan laughed, she turned her attention to the uncharacteristically quite girl next to her. "Y'all work at The Pitch together right?"

Meghan nodded her head. "Yeah we work in the stock room."

"See these are true best friends." Alex gave Morgan some attitude.

"You could have worked with me at daddy's store."

"I'm not talking to some weirdo who's buying a chainsaw, bleach and a shovel at the same time. We all know what that's for."

Everyone started to laugh, even Meghan which made Tobin happy. Now more comfortable Tobin kept the conversation going. "The Pitch is a pretty cool place to work."

Alex popped up giving Tobin a little smack to the arm. "Doesn't your boss play for Arsenal?"

"Yeah she's the keeper. She's injured and needed something to do while she heals." Tobin said happily. "Her girlfriend Ali plays for FC Frankfurt."

"She's a defender." Meghan chimed in. "I've been talking to her about the game and she's giving me some great pointers."

Without noticing Meghan had fallen into the conversation. Everyone was talking back and fourth about the game and things they've seen the pros do that they wanted to learn. Alex was dominating the conversation as Meghan assumed she would do, but it wasn't in a bad way. Alex was full of life and had an opinion on almost everything they talked about, but she was also funny and smart and every time she talked it made Tobin smile. Meghan may have not been the biggest fan of the girl who seemed to take all the attention of her best friend, but Tobin was happy, and that's all she really wanted.

Soon the waiter returned with their milkshakes but he wasn't alone, another boy, this one with long black hair pulled back into a low pony tale came out with two milkshakes in his hand. 

"Here you go ladies." He said in with an ancient. "I fell like I have seen you in here before." He was talking to Alex.

"Uh-yeah maybe." Alex answered with a smile. "She and I come here a lot." She looked over to Morgan. 

The boy stood up straight. "Yeah I think I remember you."

Morgan was giggling a bit, she understood what was happening, and so did Alex because her face got a serious look on it even though she was still smiling a bit.

"Yeah, this is one of our favorite places to eat." Alex said tilting her head a bit. "But it's our first time here with our girlfriends." Alex reached over and grabbed Tobin's hands on top of the table. 

Without hesitation Morgan had reached over and grabbed Meghan's hand, simultaneously shutting up the two boys flirting with them and turning Meghan into a complete mess. As the two boys left Meghan looked down at the hand holding hers, it was a lot warmer than she imagined, Morgan's skin soft, her grip loose but still inviting. She didn't want to let go, so she didn't. She wasn't sure how long it was, because time had indeed stopped, but it was Morgan who pulled away with a light laugh. 

"Thanks for covering for me." She smiled in Meghan's direction. 

Suddenly Meghan was aware of how many times she blinked and how many breaths she was taking, and the fact that she couldn't talk, so she just nodded her head and smiled. 

Tobin on the other hand was completely okay with the hand holding, they had done it before, and Alex's hand was still as comforting as the first time. "Does that happen a lot?" She had no idea why she asked that question, maybe to find out if she was going to have to make the relationship painfully obvious to all teenage boys who found those blue eyes and that sparkling smile as attractive as she did.

Alex took a sip of her shake. "Sometimes." The answer was casual, like it didn't mean much. "Boys hit on us, we usually pretend to be together, but now I have you." She leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Tobin's cheek.

"Great." Morgan said shocking them out of their simple bliss. "Another thing you are abandoning me with. I swear if your weren't my best friend I would so leave you."

"I'm sorry Moe." Alex laughed. "How can I turned down that face?" She pointed at Tobin was was now smiling with a proud yet slightly embarrassed look on her face. 

"Fine." Morgan huffed leaning back in the booth. "That is a good face."

Alex leaned over again giving Tobin another kiss on the cheek, this one sending chills down her spin. There was no way the moment could get any better, at least not until Alex put her hand back on her leg, only this time it was a little higher and her thumb was resting where the tear in the fabric touching Tobin's skin. Now her body was on fire and she was sure she was going to pass out.

The group continued to talk drinking their milkshakes and commenting on how they would hate what the other was drinking. Again Meghan found herself lost in the conversation not remembering how much she didn't like that Tobin seemed to be speechless and not in the way she knew how to cover for. 

Tobin was indeed speechless trying to focus on everything other than the thumb gently moving against her leg, Alex's hand hot on her skin. It was only when the food came that she was truly able to focus because Alex had to move her hand. 

They were all having a good time. Tobin was happy to see the angry look Meghan was sporting had melted once she started to eat. Maybe everything that she was worried about was nothing to worry about in the first place. Maybe they would get along and she could rest easy. All she wanted for the last week was for Meghan to talk to her again, to get over how she felt about Alex and get to know the girl that she liked. All Tobin wanted was for the rest of the summer, all of them to hang out and have the best last couple of months. Sitting there listening to all of them talk, she thought it might be possible.

As everyone finished eating the topic had someone drifted to the pick-up games they played in the park. "Yeah I figured out that I am not a keeper." Tobin chuckled after telling the story of her one time in the box. "But Hope is amazing, she's like a freaking cat."

"Oh that reminds me." Meghan said putting her cup down. "We are all going to the National Team game in two weeks. Hope said her sisters friend or her friends sister, I don't know, she can get us a five bedroom suite for super cheap. She's going to buy all the tickets on her card so we can get seats together, then we can pay her back. I told her to just count you in. So your going to owe her like some money."

"I didn't know you guys were going to the National Team game." Alex said in a happy tone. "We are going too with JJ and Becks."

Tobin's eyes got wide. "That's awesome. Maybe Hope can buy your tickets too that was we can all sit together. I can text her."

"You sure, she doesn't even know us." Alex asked in a hopeful tone.

"Yeah I am sure it's not a big deal." Tobin laughed. 

Meghan's excitement suddenly dropped. "Oh okay, well we are all leaving Thursday night and coming back Saturday morning."

"Well shit." Alex sounded disappointed. "We are leaving Friday morning. JJ works super late Thursday. We were going to drive up, watch the game, stay in a hotel and come back Saturday morning."

Tobin's shoulders lowered at the news. "Well that sucks."

"Maybe you can just meet us at the game." Meghan suggested. "I mean Chris is getting her dads SUV, and I don't think ten people can fit in it."

"Chris, like Christen the girl you guys work with." Alex asked her voice dropping down a note or two.

Tobin heard her tone, it was not good. "Yeah she plays in the park with us." She tried to remind Alex of the conversation they had the day before and how she didn't seem so upset about Christen then. 

"Yeah, she is driving." Meghan said simply.

Alex lowered her hand and placed it on Tobin's leg. "Well it would suck to drive up without you."

Her voice somehow pulled hard on Tobin's heart strings and suddenly she didn't want to drive up without her either. "Well I can hang back and go with you four."

"But we were going to walk around Boston Friday morning." Meghan cried out.

"I've seen Boston." Tobin gave a little laugh. "Besides it'll be less cramped in the car if I just hang back and drive up with them." She was convincing Meghan as much as she was reassuring Alex. 

Meghan felt the anger rise up inside her again. "Okay, fine if that's what you want to do."

Tobin heard the tone, she recognized the pitch and timber of Meghan's pissed off voice. It wasn't the time to ask her anything, and it wasn't the time to antagonize her and escalate the situation so she let it drop, quickly changing the subject to the team line up.

As they paid their bills and headed towards the car Meghan noticed she had her fist balled up the entire time. Her jaw was set and she was quite, trying to keep in everything she was thinking, everything that she was feeling about Alex highjacking yet another one of her spots, this time as Tobin's soccer buddy. She was getting pissed off at how all Alex had to do was bat her eyes and Tobin would just agree with her. She road back to the house without saying much, she didn't want to slip and say something she shouldn't have.

Tobin noticed how her friend was feeling, how her anger seemed to fill the car even when she was trying to hold it in. Tobin smiled and tried to act cool while trying to keep Alex and Morgan entertained at the same time. Whatever Meghan was so upset about was making it hard to even concentrate on what was being said to her. Tobin continued to look in the rear view mirror to see if Meghan's face was still twisted up in anger, and when she did she tried not to let her smile drop, but it was hard. 

Finally at Alex's house Tobin parked the car and waited for someone to say something. It was Morgan who spoke first. 

"Well that was awesome." She said happily. "We definitely have to do that again."

"Yeah of course." Tobin said with a huge smile. 

Alex reached over and grabbed the sleeve of Tobin's shirt. "Walk me to my door, please." 

Again, Tobin was lost in the blue of her eyes and the low chant of her voice. Without hesitation she got out the car and headed around the front to open the passengers door for Alex. 

Alex quickly looked back and Morgan and gave her a serious look raising her eyebrows a bit. Morgan returned the look with an equally serious look, sharing a mini conversation without words. Tobin opened the door and Alex got out.

"I'm really glad we got to hang out." Morgan said taking Meghan out of her trance.

She looked over with hopeful eyes. "Yeah I am too."

"We should do it again, you know, hang out."

Her eyes were light brown shining against the lights in Tobin's car. Meghan couldn't stop looking at them, they seemed to just draw her in, with that she was no longer upset about anything. 

"Yeah we should." The words coming out of her mouth without her thinking. "I can text you."

Morgan smiled. "Okay yeah. Let me see your phone."

Meghan grabbed her phone from her back pocket and handed over to her. She watched as Morgan's slim fingers typed into her contacts. She stared at her as the blue light bathed her face and her smile shined bright as she typed. How in the world was this girl able to do this to her so easily. She was pissed off not two seconds ago, and yet just watching her made her happy. It was like magic, Morgan was like magic.

She handed the phone back, their fingers touching just a little. "Okay, well I guess I'll talk to you later."

Nodding her head and smiling like a dork Meghan put her phone in her pocket. "Yeah you definitely will."

-

Alex had taken Tobin's hand as they walked up the steps to her porch and stopped at the front door of her house. She turned and took her other hand lacing her fingers in and gripping tight. 

"Thanks for coming out." Alex smiled up at the girl standing in front of her. 

Tobin nodded her head. "Yeah it was fun. I'm glad you and Kling got to hang out."

"Yeah." Alex said in a low voice. "Even though she doesn't like me."

"What are you talking about?" Tobin looked back and fourth from Alex to the car. "She likes you." 

Alex chuckled a bit. "No she doesn't. But it's okay babe." She held tighter to her girlfriends hands. "She was already upset about the idea of me and you, it's going to take more than one night for her to warm up to me."

Tobin lowered her head. As much as she wanted to tell Alex she was wrong, there was no way she could. The fact of the matter was Meghan was clearly upset and it seemed to be directed straight at Alex. 

"I can talk to her." She gave her a hopeful smile.

Alex smiled back. "No it's okay. It'll be okay. Hopefully she and Moe will start hanging out and everything between her and I can develop naturally. I'm not worried about it."

She was worried about it, but she didn't want to tell Alex that. "Okay if you say so. I just want you two to be friends."

"We will be." Alex let go of her hands and wrapped her arms around Tobin's neck. "She's your best friend, I'm not going to give up."

Nodding her head now a little more focused on the arms around her neck than the conversation. "Thank you."

"Of course." 

Alex gave her a big smile before leaning in to kiss her. It wasn't a long one but it was still perfect. Tobin told herself she would never get tired of the feeling of Alex's lips against hers, she would never get tired of the way her chest fluttered when she could feel her fingers were on her neck pulling her gently in. No she would never get tired of the way her heart beat when she heard the breath Alex took in right when the kiss was over, like she lost the ability to breath just as Tobin did.

"Text me when you get home." Alex said resting her forehead on Tobin's shoulder.

Tobin smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I will."

As she started to walk away, Morgan was walking up the stairs. Tobin looked over to see her best friend getting into the passengers seat of her car. She quickly told Morgan how much fun she had before waving to both girls in the porch and walking to her car. When she got in Meghan was staring down at her phone.

"That was fun." Tobin said trying to get Meghan to talk. They had pulled out of the driveway and were now headed down the road. "That place was cool."

As if a switch was flipped in her mind Meghan went from happily looking down at the new contact in her phone to angry looking over to Tobin. "Yeah it wasn't bad."

So now it was passive aggressive Meghan. "Dude, are you okay."

"Yeah I'm fine." She lied

"You seem upset." Tobin was trying to get her to admit that she didn't like Alex even though Alex asked her not to.

Meghan looked over to her again. "I said I'm fine."

"Okay." She responded quickly.

Well now they were back to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this looking for Preath, you need to go back a chapter and read that, because it is good. 
> 
> I will try and update faster I have a crazy life doing crazy stuff so bare with me. If you think you dying to read it, imagine being my wife who gets bits and pieces as I write but never the full story until I actually post. Yeah, now you don't feel as bad now do you?


	15. The Story of Christen Press

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christens back story told in her POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to add more of Christens POV within the story, but I didn't want to just drop people in with it so I decided to write her back story.
> 
>  
> 
> Big giant Thank you to my new Beta, she's rocking my world and keeping me on my toes.

Christen slowly walked to her front door, she had her phone out texting Tobin that she was home. She had taken the girl she likes home, walked her to the door, but she didn’t get to kiss her goodnight at the door, they had done that just a few minutes before at a stop sign. Tobin wasn’t out to her family and she was afraid someone would see if they kissed at the door, so at the stop sign just before turning on the street her parents’ house was on, they leaned in at the same time, meeting in the middle, and kissed for the third time that night. It wasn’t enough for Christen, she wanted to kiss her again and again and never stop. When they got to the door, she wanted to lunge forward and feel Tobin’s soft lips against hers, but she understood what it was like to not be fully out and she settled for a long hug, something else she didn’t want to stop.  
   
Now at her house, she was still texting Tobin, still thinking about her, still longing to kiss her again. She walked into her house, the lights were off, but there was a soft glow coming from the living room. She popped her head in to see her dad in his recliner the remote in his hands but his eyes closed. Her mom was sitting on the couch reading on her tablet. This was their normal routine, they would come home and eat dinner, sometimes with Christen and her sister, but most of the time by themselves. At the old house, they would force all three of the girls to sit down and eat every Tuesday night, but here there was only Christen and sometimes Channing, when she decided to make an appearance, so her parents stopping enforcing mandatory dinners. Instead, every night they would watch one of their shows off the DVR and her dad would fall asleep within an hour, her mom reading for another hour before she woke him and dragged him to their bed where he could really rest. It was something Christen loved about them, even with their jobs they always found time to spend together.  
   
This was the type of relationship she wanted. With every person she dated, or even thought she might like, she pictured herself doing something like this. She thought about if she could read while they fell asleep. She wondered if she could wake them gently and listen to them try to claim they were not sleeping at all. She always pictured them having dinner together and talking about their days. She always imagined them arguing over who was supposed to do the dishes, and why they didn’t take the trash out to the curb because now they missed trash day and the trash would have to sit another week. This is what she wanted, a normal relationship with the person that completed her. She wanted to play professional soccer, but she didn’t want to be famous, she just wanted this, quiet nights listening to someone snore on the couch next to her.  
   
As she watched her parents for a few seconds, she started to imagine if she could do this with Tobin. The girl she was starting to like more and more was kind and sweet, a little nervous and kind of unsure about herself, but she was amazing. The way they talked at the restaurant, the way they talked that one day in the car, they shared information about each other, things that were going on in their lives, silly things from their day, the type of conversation Christen loved the most. Christen thought about the way Tobin smiled when she thought something was funny, the way her eyes lit up when anything about soccer was mentioned. Christen thought to herself, she could watch her all day and never get bored. Maybe Tobin was the girl she could spend her nights watching sleep. Maybe Tobin was the girl she could drag to bed. Maybe Tobin was the girl that could complete her.  
   
She texted Tobin for a few more minutes after she got upstairs, but it was getting late and Tobin had to work in the morning so Christen forced her to go to sleep. It was a few minutes after that Tobin finally said goodnight, and a few minutes after that she actually stopped texting. Christen was about to go to sleep when her phone beeped at her again. She was ready to tell Tobin to go to sleep again when she saw the text was actually from her best friend, Allie.  
   
**Allie:** So, how was it?  
   
Rather than try and type out how great the date was, Christen hit the facetime button and waited for Allie to answer. Within a few seconds, the blonde appeared on her screen, all smiles and blue eyes.  
   
“So?” Allie asked with a huge smile.  
   
Christen grinned, her cheeks hurting a little from smiling so much, but there was no stopping it, she was just too happy. “It was amazing, she is amazing, everything was just, oh my god Al, she is so wonderful.”  
   
Allie started to giggle. “Damn, you really like this girl.”  
   
“I don’t think I have ever liked anyone this much.” She sat up in her bed, holding the phone up. “I mean, she just makes me feel all tingly inside. She’s so cute and smart and funny and so dorky and it’s the best.”  
   
“Okay, mushy.” Allie laughed. “What happened?”  
   
“I picked her up, and she was wearing this button up shirt that almost made me fall over because she looked so good…”  
   
“What did you wear, the dress?” Allie interrupted her.  
   
“Yeah, the dress,” Christen said, referring to the dress the two girls had discussed for like an hour before the date, but Christen didn’t settle on until five minutes before she was supposed to leave. “And those heels, that I swear I had to focus to walk in, which was hard because did I mention she looked so good?” She let out a little scream that made her friend giggle. “We drove and talked and it was so smooth and easy. Then we got to the restaurant and she was telling me how her friends told her not to use the notes she took for the date, which was the best…”  
   
“Wait, she had notes?” Allie asked an eyebrow raised.  
   
Christen smiled. “Yeah, she was nervous so she wrote a list of things to talk about, and had notes on each point, it was so cute.”  
   
“Oh god, she sounds like the perfect girl for you.”  
   
“I know, that’s what I was thinking.” The smile on her face was getting bigger and bigger as she talked. “I totally made her go through all the topics, and it was so much fun. We talked about everything, her voice is so smooth and sexy, and that smile, I could look at it all night. We ate dinner and she kept dropping all the food, like no matter what it was she somehow managed to drop it, most of the time it was on her plate, but it was super cute. After dinner we were walking to the car and she held my hand…”  
   
“No, are you serious?” Allie interrupted again.  
   
Christen nodded her head. “That’s not the best part, it’s just one of the best parts. We were driving home and I popped a tire, it was crazy, I have no idea how or why, it just popped. But she got out the car all sexy and strong and was like ‘oh, you popped a tire’ like it was nothing, while I was in full panic mode. I thought we would be stranded out there, but she was like ‘I’m going to change your tire’ like it was nothing.  So she got all the stuff from the trunk and she changed the tire, she explained it all to me but honestly I don’t remember half of what she was saying because I was too busy watching her. Have I told you she is sexy?”  
   
Allie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you’ve mentioned it once or twice.”  
   
“Well, it’s necessary to say like a million times because she is,” Christen told her with a playful serious look on her face. “After, she cleaned up and we were standing by the car and I couldn’t help it, I kissed her.”  
   
“Wow, you kissed her? My nervous Christen kissed her?” She was shocked by the confession.  
   
Christen threw her head back. “I know. I have no idea what came over me, I just wanted to do it so I did.”  
   
“Well, how was it?” she asked anxiously.  
   
Christen bit her bottom lip. “The most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I seriously felt a little dizzy after.”  
   
“Damn… You are so lucky.”  
   
“I know,” the happy girl squealed. “We talked after and she told me I have nothing to worry about with Alex, that their date was a mistake and she only wanted to be with me. I told her how sorry I was for screwing up the movie date and she was so sweet about it. Then we kissed again.”  
   
“Jeez, slow down sister, she’s not going anywhere,” Allie teased.  
   
Christen lowered her head and let out a little laugh. “I know.” She looked back up at the screen and smiled. “I have been waiting for like, months to do that, so sue me.” They both laughed and made kissy faces at each other before Christen continued recounting the night. “I drove her home, but she isn’t out to her parents yet, so we said ‘goodnight’ at the stop sign before her house.”  
   
“Meaning, you made out again.”  
   
“No, we just kissed a little. We are not at the make out stage yet.”  
   
“Yeah, that was your first date, so keep it in your pants for now, at least wait until the second date.”  
   
“Alexandra Long,” Christen yelled and covered her eyes. Allie was laughing at her, Christen could feel her cheeks turning red. “That didn’t even cross my mind.”  
   
“Oh, yeah, right.” The blonde rolled her eyes. “You were just talking about how sexy she is.”  
   
“True, you got me there.” She laughed. “But we are nowhere near that part, and Tobin is nowhere near ready for that, so for now I’ll be ‘keeping it in my pants.’”  
   
“So what happened after that, Casanova?”  
   
The now slightly embarrassed girl shook her head. “I walked her to the door…”  
   
“Like a gentleman.”  
   
“Of course.” She held her chin up gallantly. “Then we hugged and she smells great and she’s warm and it’s the best. Then we said goodnight and I texted her for a little bit after I got home, but she has to work in the morning so I made her go to sleep.”  
   
Allie laughed. “Damn, already the controlling girlfriend?”  
   
“No,” she pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes. “I just don’t want her to be all sleepy tomorrow. Al, she’s so much better than I ever could have imagined. I could have spent all night with her. I want to spend all night with her. This is so much different than everyone else. She is so different. I don’t even know how to describe it.”  
   
Allie watched her friend gush. This was the first time since Christen moved to New Jersey that she had been this happy, it was nice to see her smile again. “I’m so happy for you Chrissy. Make sure you lock her down, and tell her that I will destroy her if she even thinks about hurting you.”  
   
“You don’t have to worry, Tobin is not that kind of person.” She beamed at the thought of being with Tobin. “I don’t want to rush her, I mean we have a long time to settle into all this, we are going to UNC together so there is no rush.”  
   
“Not that you would mind if she rushed a little, eh?” Allie wiggled her eyebrows.  
   
Christen covered her smile with her hand, her cheeks turning red again. “Okay, no, I wouldn’t mind it, but I’m not pushing it. Honestly, I just want to spend time with her, she makes me happy.”  
   
“I can see that.” She couldn’t help but smile with her best friend. “She sounds like a good one Chrissy, I can’t wait to meet her.”  
   
She bounced on her bed. “You’re going to love her.”  
   
“I am sure I will.” It had been a while since Allie saw her best friend in this good of a mood. “I’m so happy you’re happy, babe. I want to hear more about Tobin, but I have to work in the morning.”  
   
“Yeah, yeah, get some sleep,” she said in a concerned tone. “We can talk in the morning.”  
   
Allie laughed a little as she saw the smile come on Christen’s face yet again, it seemed like she wasn’t going to stop for the rest of the night, which was good. “Text me tomorrow, and get some sleep.”  
   
“I will. Night, love you.”  
   
“Love you too.”  
   
Christen laid back in her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Her room was still bare, she decided not to really set much up when they moved since she would only be living there for a few months before she headed off to college. In her mind there was no point in putting pictures on the wall, or unpacking all her stuff, she was going to have to pack it all back up for school. In the corner there were some boxes full of clothes she didn’t wear that much, she was going to bring those down to the basement, but never got around to it. She had clothes in the dresser and some hanging up in the closet but for the most part she lived taking what she needed out of the boxes as she needed it.  
   
She was way too wired to go to sleep, so she opened up her laptop and clicked on facebook. She scrolled through, trying to prevent herself from doing the one thing she really wanted to do, go through Tobin’s page. She had been on it more than a few times, but she only got to really look at it when they became friends. She likes looking at the photos, even if there weren’t many of them and the ones that were on her page were clearly not taken by her. Tobin was shy and she obviously didn’t care to take selfies and other kinds of photos. Most of the ones on her page were of her playing soccer or hanging out with Meghan. Still, Christen liked going through her page. She liked seeing the shots of the very serious face Tobin had when she was on the field, she liked seeing the shots of her standing on the outside edge of almost every huddle, clearly not paying attention to the coach talking, too busy juggling a ball.  
   
That was Tobin, her Tobin (was it too early to call her that?), she had a ball with her whenever possible. That was the thing that drew Christen to her in the first place, watching her juggle a ball while her coach was talking. It was the first game Christen had seen, and instantly she couldn’t take her eyes off the beautiful brunette off in her own world. It was the first time Christen could remember actually being happy in New Jersey.  
   
\--  
   
When Christen’s father told her and her little sister that they were moving, Christen yelled at him for the first time in her life. The move was random, her father had seemed anxious for a few weeks, but that wasn’t really new, so Christen didn’t pay much attention to it. It was when she watched him walk around, almost pacing everyday, he was jumpy when the phone rang, that's when she thought something might be off. She talked to her sisters about it, Tyler was off at college so she wasn't much help, and Channing brushed almost everything off, so Christen tried not to worry. Then a brick was thrown through the window.  
   
They slept in a hotel that night, a bunch of policemen came and escorted them out of the city to the outskirts. Her father sat them all down and told them what was going on. He had prosecuted a very bad man and now his family was gunning for her father, which meant they were coming for his family too. Now she understood, and now she was afraid. She thought they'd stay in the hotel for a week or so until the police sorted it all out, but that wasn't the case, her father sat them all down once again and this time he announced they were moving, and Christen yelled.  
   
The idea of danger wasn't processing in her teenage brain when her father told her that he was taking her away from her home, her friends, her city, and all in the middle of her senior year. All Christen was thinking about was the fact that her best friend was here, her girlfriend was here, everything was in LA and she couldn't leave. After she yelled, she stormed off. She was still stuck in a hotel under LAPD watch so she only got as far as the conference room on the third floor, but she needed to think. After a few minutes, her anger turned to sadness, which gave way to rational thought, which lead to even more sadness. They had to leave, it was the only way to keep her family safe, but that didn't make it suck any less.  
   
She went back to the room, apologized for being immature, and listened to her father’s plan. She already had enough credits to graduate, she was only taking the last semester to play soccer, she had to be in school to be on the team so she was taking easy courses so she could put in minimal effort and focus on what mattered, her best friend, Allie and her girlfriend, Kelley. Her father wanted her to take her finals and he would petition for her diploma. They would move across country, to a state no one cared about, and their lives would change forever.  
   
After a few more days holed up in the hotel, Christen got permission to have people visit her, she had been in the same two rooms for two weeks and needed a break, so the police let in her two favorite people.  
   
“Babe.” Kelley rushed in the room and threw her arms around Christen. “Oh man, I missed you so much.” She pushed away just enough to see Christens face, looking in her eyes. “Are you okay?”  
   
Christen lowered her head. “No.” She could feel the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. “I'm not okay.”  
   
Kelley pulled her into her arms, holding tight. Christen pushed her face into the soft shoulder of her girlfriend. Usually, Kelley holding her close, the light scent of body wash and salt water, made Christen feel better, but not today, not with what she had to tell her and Allie.  
   
After she got herself together enough to form words, the three of them sat on the bed. Christen leaned into Kelley, her girlfriend’s arm around her waist. Christen had her hand out, she was holding tight to Allie’s hand, she needed to anchor herself to them when she spoke.  
   
“We are leaving,” she said in almost a whisper.  
   
Allie’s hand got tight in hers. “When?”  
   
“A week.” Tears were making their way down her cheeks again. “He's moving us to New Jersey, he said it's safer this way.”  
   
“This is bullshit,” Allie yelled.  
   
Kelley was quiet, that's what Christen expected, her normally talkative girlfriend did not do well with bad news, she chose to shut down while Allie always expressed her feelings outright. Christen listened to her best friend rant as she paced the room, Kelley still holding tight to her, still quiet.  
   
“Live with me,” Allie said out of the blue.  
   
Christen popped her head up off her girlfriends shoulder. “What? Can I do that?”  
   
“Yeah, I mean it's your last semester, your last soccer season, my parents won't let you miss that, I mean you're over my house practically every night anyway, what’s the difference if you live there for a few months.” She sounded so sure of her plan, the way she always did when she came up with a solution to a problem.  
   
Christen pulled away from the quiet girl on the bed to join her friend standing in the middle of the hotel room. “That would be so awesome.”  
   
They went through the planning stages of the idea, where Christen would sleep, how'd she get money to live off of, how she would go to school, play soccer, then lay low the rest of the time. She didn't need to go out and do much, she only needed Allie and Kelley, everything else could fall away and she wouldn't be bothered. It was the perfect plan, at least that's what they thought.  
   
When she brought the idea to her parents, no matter how she spun it she still got a no. She was only seventeen and therefore she had to move with them. In another brain storming session, she and Allie thought about emancipation but going against her father in a court was stupid, and really it was crazy idea they both knew would never work, so it was settled, she was moving to New Jersey.  
   
She went to school for one more day, she only needed to take two of her four finals so she sat in the office and took her tests, even if she failed the exams, she would still pass the classes so she didn't try her best. She cleaned out her locker and turned in all her passes before walking out the front doors for the last time.  
   
She had three days left, so she had Kelley over to the hotel. Christen was sharing a room with her sister so she payed her to leave them alone for a few hours, but when Kelley came over she was not in the same mood Christen was.  
   
“What's going on, babe?” Christen asked as her normally happy girlfriend came into the room.  
   
Kelley looked over to her, “You're leaving in three days.”  
   
“Yeah, I know.” She hugged her, burying her face in her neck. “It'll be okay,” she said, the idea already settled in her head.  
   
“How?” she cried.  
   
Christen pulled away, putting her hands on her girlfriend’s freckled cheeks. “I'll be back in the summer. I'll be eighteen then and they won't be able to stop me. We'll spend all summer together.”  
   
“And after that, when you're at UNC and I'm at Stanford, what then?” Kelley was beginning to spiral the way she did when she couldn't see a way out, lucky for her this was Christen’s specialty.  
   
“We will figure it out.” She leaned in and kissed her. “We always figure it out. Kels, we've been figuring everything out for over a year now, we can do this.” She felt the head nod in her hands more than she saw it. Kelley was nervous, but it was all going to be okay. “Now, I paid my sister forty bucks to leave us alone, let's try and put it to good use.” She waited for the inevitable smirk that appeared on Kelley’s face before leaning in and kissing her again, this time pulling her towards the bed.  
   
The next two days were spent with Allie and Kelley on the beach enjoying the sun. It was winter, which meant the water was freezing, but the sand was still nice, and Christen really wanted to watch the waves for a little while. Her nights were spent sneaking around the hotel with Kelley, trying to find spots where they could be alone. Even though she was clearly upset, Kelley put on a brave face. Christen wouldn't let her be sad when they still had time together.  
   
The last day the Press family was scheduled to fly out at 3pm, which meant they were leaving the hotel at noon. Her dad was doing some final paperwork brought over by one of his colleagues, her mom was saying goodbye to her coworkers, her sister was saying goodbye to her friends, and Christen was in the back seat of Kelley’s Jeep, clinging tight to her girlfriend.  
   
“I don't want to go,” Christen cried into the soft fabric of her shirt. She had spent the majority of the morning laying on Kelley’s chest talking about all the great things they were going to do when she came back, but when 11:30 hit, the sadness came in one big wave. “I don't want to spend six months without you.”  
   
“It's going to be okay,” Kelley whispered in her ear. The roles were now reversed, Kelley was calm and collected and Christen was starting to spiral. “It's just six months, then we have all summer. We will be okay baby, I promise.”  
   
Christen pushed her face harder into Kelley’s chest, she wanted to take in that scent that she loved, the one thing that could always calm her down. She and Kelley had been friends for years, they had feelings for each other for a long time but never acted on it because they didn't want to ruin what they had. Both of them dated other people here and there, but it always came back to wanting to be together. When Allie finally got sick of listening to them both talk about each other, she forced them to talk. They had been together for over a year and Christen was convinced this was the girl she was supposed to marry.  
   
Kelley continued to move one hand up and down Christen’s back, while the other held her close. She could feel the tears starting to soak through her shirt. “Baby, it’s all going to be okay,” she said again, trying to calm her down. When Christen lifted her head, her eyes now red from crying, it broke Kelley’s heart. She leaned in and kissed her softly. “It’s all going to be okay. I love you.” She reached over and wiped the tears starting to trail down her cheek.  
   
“I love you too.” Christen smiled, then leaned in to kiss her. When she did, she felt Kelley’s hand grip tighter on her waist, pulling her body in. Christen kissed her harder, parting her lips and allowing her girlfriend’s tongue to slip into her mouth and start to explore. They were parked behind the same building they had been parking behind since their relationship took the big step, and like every other time, the kiss turned into way more.  
   
   
Christen was late showing up to hotel. They spent more time then intended showing each other how much they were going to miss each other, and even though Kelley sped through the LA traffic, they still showed up fifteen minutes late. Christens dad had a sullen look on his face, but it quickly softened when he saw how upset his daughter was.  
   
Allie agreed to let her best friend spend her last few hours with Kelley, they needed time and Allie was going to see her during the summer and at college, so she didn’t mind meeting them at the hotel. She ran up to Christen as soon as she got out of the jeep.  
   
“Fifteen minutes late, huh?” she laughed as she hugged her. “Nice job.”  
   
“Oh, shut up,” Christen cried into her. “I am going to miss your inappropriate observations.”  
   
“I’m not going to miss you being late, or Kelley’s shirt being inside out.”  
   
Christen turned her head, Allie was right, Kelley’s shirt was inside out, hopefully no one else would notice. “I love you so much,” she laughed.  
   
Allie hugged her a little harder. “I love you too. I’ll see you in a few months.”  
   
“Take care of Kelley for me.”  
   
“Always have.”  
   
They pulled apart, Christen looking into those big blue eyes as if to try and explain how much she was truly going to miss the crazy girl she had spent practically every second with since they were born. Allie knew what the look meant, they didn’t need to speak, they just smiled at each other and left it at that.  
   
Christen went over to Kelley, who was acting tough, her arms crossed, head down, kicking her right foot back and forth. “Babe,” Christen said looking down, trying to meet her eyes.  
   
“What’s up?” Kelley asked in typical fashion.  
   
“I love you.” Christen smiled.  
   
Kelley nodded her head. “Yeah, I love you too.”  
   
There was no way not to laugh at her tough guy act. Christen threw her arms around Kelley’s neck, planting a kiss just below her ear. “I love you so much.”  
   
Giving into the hug, Kelley put her arms around her waist and held her close. “I love you too.”  
   
Christen pulled away just enough to put their foreheads together. “Six months.”  
   
Kelley nodded, her head against Christen’s. “Six months.”  
   
They kissed again, it was simple and short but they both knew what it meant. Christen looked back to her parents, they were ready to go even though they were letting their daughter get in her goodbyes the way she needed to. Christen squeezed tight to Kelley, burying her face in her neck one more time so she could smell that sweet scent, it had to carry her over the next half a year. With that, she pulled away and got in the car. She didn’t look out the window until the car started to move. She was really leaving, she was leaving behind everything she had ever known and loved.  
   
   
   
The first few weeks in New Jersey were horrible, it was cold and wet and the whole state seemed to smell like an industrial factory. The thing that they claimed to be a city was not a city at all, in Christen’s mind. The buildings were shorter, the streets were not as wide, and everyone was walking around with their heads down. She didn’t see the things she was used to, street performers, artists, people sitting out drinking coffee, and the sun; where the hell was the sun? That thing that they called The Shore, was dreary and sad and shouldn't even be considered a beach. She spent most of her time in the new house, which was on a flat piece of land nowhere near a mountain or a hill. As far as she was concerned, New Jersey was a total bust.  
   
She texted all day with Allie and Kelley and called them every single night. They kept her up to date on what was happening at their school, and on the soccer team. Christen thought it would make her feel better but it only made her sad, she was missing her senior year. When her mother saw how upset she was, she told her to get a job to take her mind off of everything.  
   
A week later she was working at The Pitch, the manager was cool and the guy that worked with her after school was fun to talk to. The two guys who worked the back room however, were not cool at all. They were high the majority of the time and never really did their job right, so Christen hated talking to them. One day when she was bored, she started kicking a ball around, just little tricks to take her mind off the empty store.  
   
“Hey you’re really good,” Ashlyn said when she caught Christen kicking the ball into the practice net.  
   
Christen spun around. “Oh, yeah, thanks. I played on my high school team, well I played on like every team since I could stand.” She laughed a little. “I’m actually going to UNC next year on scholarship.”  
   
“That’s awesome,” her boss said with a smile. “You should go watch the local high school play, they are really good, they are regional champs, they have been for like ten years or something. I talk to their coach a lot, he goes through a lot of practice gear. I think they play Fridays at like 5:30.”  
   
“Yeah, I’ll have to go check them out.”  
   
Christen didn’t really want to check out the local high school team that much, she thought it would just make her sad to watch them play and not be able to get on the field, but she was bored on Friday night, since she only made one friend the whole time she had been here and that was Jozy, who had a game of his own in some random little town. She got up off the couch and drove to the local high school, paid the two dollars it took to get in, and sat in the stands waiting for the game to start.  
   
She got there about thirty minutes early so for a little while she was one of the only ones there, which was kind of typical for soccer in the US, but as time went on the stands started to fill up, a lot. Soon, the place was packed, by 5:30 almost every seat was taken up. Turned out this city/town was big into their soccer teams. The girls team came onto the field to start their warm up, everyone was watching them kick around and the spectators were actually talking about soccer. When the game started, people were cheering and yelling for the girls as they dominated the field. Ashlyn had under exaggerated when she said they were good, they were phenomenal.    
   
Christen found herself going to another game. She sat in the same seat and watched the stands fill up. She was ready to enjoy another great game, but she found herself distracted. The game had started and flying down the field, moving around everyone with ease, was a midfielder that played like she was a professional. She had long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. Christen couldn’t take her eyes off her, the way she played, the way she moved, it was mesmerizing. As the girl headed down the field, she heard someone call out to her, “Tobin, cross.” So her name was Tobin, and she was the most amazing player Christen had ever seen.  
   
After the game, the girl sat on the track as the boys started to warm up. Christen looked down at them as they took off their cleats and changed into pants, jackets, and sneakers. She looked around to find the number 17 on the back of the jersey of the amazing player she saw. There she was, laughing and talking to another girl. She had let her long brown hair down, allowing it to frame her face, and she put on a snapback that just added to her amazingly nonchalant coolness. She wasn’t facing the stands completely but Christen could see the smile on her face, and it knocked the air out of her. This mysterious player was beautiful, and it sent chills up Christen’s spine.  
   
That night she sat talking to Allie, who she talked to first every night before talking with Kelley.  
   
“So the game was awesome. They won 4-0, it was insane. Their forward is fast as hell, I mean that girl can run. But she is met every time by a perfect ball coming off of this midfielder. Allie, this girl, her skill is insane, she makes everyone else look like fools…”  
   
“Is she better than me?” Allie asked with a slight attitude.  
   
“No, she doesn’t even play the same style,” Christen said covering her tracks. “She is more of a winger, but that’s not the point. She played the full ninety plus, and every second she was all over the place. I’m telling you, whatever school she is going to, we are going to be in trouble.”  
   
“You’re going to be in trouble,” Allie laughed. “I’m not playing soccer in college.”  
   
Christen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”  
   
They continued to talk, Christen was going nonstop about the girl on the field that she knew as Tobin, but never told Allie her name. Eventually, they hung up and Christen spent the rest of her night talking to Kelley, again she went on and on about Tobin and how great she played.  
   
The next day she talked to Jozy about Tobin, and, surprisingly, he knew exactly who she was talking about. Tobin had apparently made a name for herself in their county. Jozy went to a private school so he didn’t know her personally, but he had seen her play against the girls team a few times and she always blew him away.  
   
Over the next couple of weeks, Christen found herself going to all the home games, and even an away game that was pretty close to town. Eventually, she found a friend in the stands, a girl that was homeschooled, but played on a local team not affiliated with the school. Lindsey went to all the games and noticed Christen in the stands alone and started talking to her, within a few games they were friends, and met up every Friday. Lindsey even invited Christen to start playing a pickup game in the park with a few other people, and Christen soon found a routine, one that involved talking about Tobin.  
   
“She is so awesome, I don’t know how she does it,” Christen said, right before she blew into her cold hands. It was starting to warm up, but her body was still used to LA weather, so she still wore a heavy coat.  
   
Lindsey looked over to her and started to laugh. “Are you talking about Tobin again? Why don’t you just go down there and talk to her?”  
   
Christen lowered her eyebrows. “I don’t want to do that. I am not interested in her, I am interested in how she plays.”  
   
“Sounds to me like you are interested in her.” Lindsey gave her a light push.  
   
“I have a girlfriend,” Christen laughed. “Besides I know nothing about her except her first name and she’s a kick ass player.”  
   
“Well, let’s fix that.” She pulled out her phone. “Her name is Tobin, so that should be easy to find.”  
   
Christen looked over at her. “Are you facebooking her?”  
   
With a quick nod of her head, she gave her a knowing look. “Someone has to.” Within a few seconds, she found the page and started calling out some facts. “So her name is Tobin Heath, she is 17, and looks like she has lived here her entire life.” She scrolled through the photos she could see. “Wow, she is super cute. And single.”  
   
Christen leaned over and looked at the phone, she read the relationship status, Tobin was in fact single. “So, what,” she scoffed, pretending it didn’t matter.  
   
“I’m just saying, you know, in case someone here wants to know.”  
   
“No one here wants to know.” She focused in on the game.  
   
That night, Christen talked to Kelley, but something was off, it didn’t feel the same. Kelley had been a little distant for the last few days, something was bothering her, but Christen didn’t want to ask. Normally when Kelley had something she needed to say, it was better to let her say it on her own time, so Christen left it alone. They talked for a little while, telling each other about their days, then they hung up, earlier than normal.  
   
Christen laid in her bed, her mind racing about what was going on with Kelley, when suddenly someone else popped in her mind, Tobin Heath. She took out her phone and opened facebook, typing in the new name. She scrolled through as much of her page as she could, looking at photos and finding out things that she liked. Lindsey was right, Tobin was incredibly cute, there was no denying that, but Christen was with Kelley and she loved her.  
   
   
   
Things were not right for a week, Christen and Kelley spoke less and less and when they managed to get on the phone with each other it was short, so Christen finally got up the courage to ask what was going on. She facetimed her, she needed to see Kelley’s face, most of her emotions showed through her eyes, and Christen needed to know the truth.  
   
“Are you okay?” Christen hesitantly asked.  
   
Kelley nodded her head, but her face was saying otherwise. It was easy to tell when Kelley was upset, normally she was happy and bubbly, any deviation from that mood meant she had something on her mind.  
   
“What's wrong?” Christen asked.  
   
Her eyes got big, the way they got when she was worried. Kelley finally spoke up. “Something just feels off with us.”  
   
“What do you mean off?” Her voice got small, she knew what Kelley meant, she just didn't want to admit it.  
   
Kelley shook her head and tried to look away from the screen, she couldn't watch Christen start to get upset. “It just doesn't feel the same.”  
   
“Yeah well I'm not there, but I will be soon enough.” She could feel the tears starting to form behind her eyes. “I'll be home and we will go back to normal.”  
   
“Will we?” The words came fast, like she had been questioning it for days but now had the courage to say it. “You've only been gone for a couple of months and it's already so much different. What's going to happen when you go to UNC in the fall? What's going to happen when we are separated for four years?”  
   
“I don't know.” Christen couldn't hold the tears back anymore, the tears trailing down her face. “I don't know but we will figure it out… We always do.”  
   
“I don't know,” she responded in a soft tone. “I just think maybe we should take a break.”  
   
 Christen scoffed. “A break?”  
   
“Yeah, just take some time apart,” she said sincerely.  
   
“No.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to put on a tough face, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was cry. “I'm not doing that. I'm not sitting around for weeks, waiting for you to break up with me. If you don't want to be together any more, then you need to say it.”  
   
Kelley froze, her eyes wide, looking into the screen. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it again, lowering her head. After a long pause, without looking up to the screen, she finally said the words, “I think we should break up.”  
   
Christen heard the words and her heart broke. In her head, she was screaming about how much she loved her, how they could fix it, but that was only in her head. In real life, she simply said “okay” then shut the lid on her laptop. That was the end of the first real relationship she had ever been in, the end of a ten year friendship and the end of Christen ever wanting to go back to California.  
   
For two days, all she could do was cry, for two more, she sat around eating ice cream and looking at Kelley’s photos on instagram. For three days after that, she sulked, even at work, and for another week, she isolated herself from everyone. After a good period of being unapproachably sad, Lindsey had enough of mopey Christen and dragged her out to play soccer with their new friends. The next day, she forced her to the high school soccer match where Christen saw Tobin and, for the first time, she smiled.  
   
Even though her heart was broken, Christen decided to fall into routine, that was the best way for her to get it together. She was a routine based person and she needed one to focus on, so it was work, soccer at the park, soccer games, and hanging out with the girls from the park, that was her new routine. After a few months, her sadness started to die down and she started to return to normal.  
   
   
   
It was the quarterfinal of the high school soccer playoffs, Christen sat with Lindsey and Hope and watched the girls warm up. It had been almost five months since she broke up with Kelley, and everything was starting to feel normal in her life. She had gotten used to living in New Jersey, the sun was finally out and only the wind was cold, people were friendlier in the spring, and, of course, her new favorite team was two games away from the championship.  
   
Christen sat in the stands, she was the only one with a light jacket on, her body still used to the hot weather from California, the wind was chilly, but to everyone else it was the perfect day for shorts and a t-shirt. Down on the field, the players no longer had to wear joggers to warm up, everyone was in their shorts and t-shirts, and Tobin had her sleeves rolled up, revealing her surprisingly muscular arms, something Christen couldn't take her eyes off of.  
   
“She is really cute,” Hope said leaning over to talk across Christen to Lindsey, who was sitting on the other side of her.  
   
Lindsey leaned forward. “Yeah she is. Now Chris just needs to get her shit together and talk to her.”  
   
“She can't, look at her, she can't even think when that girl is on the field.” Hope started to laugh.  
   
“I can think,” Christen snapped. “And I don't want to talk to her.”  
   
“Why?” Lindsey leaned back against the seat behind them. “You're single, she's single, you're hot, she's hot. Talk to her.”  
   
Christen shook her head. “It's not about that.”  
   
“Then what is it about?” Hope matched Lindsey’s position on the bleachers.  
   
Looking back at her two friends who now had their eyes closed, letting the sun hit their faces, Christen let out a loud huff. “There is no point in talking to someone and starting something when it will only last the summer. I'm going to UNC in the fall, I'm sure Tobin is going to some school far away. It would just be a summer fling.”  
   
“That's what you need,” Hope practically shouted. “Dude, you need a summer fling. You need some hot Jersey chick to take you to the shore, hang out, have some drinks, and get laid.”  
   
“Hope!” Christen reached back and slapped her friend’s knee.  
   
“What?” Hope opened her eyes, grinning up the now slightly embarrassed girl. “Are you telling me that if she came up to you after the game and asked you to get in the back seat of her car, you'd say no?”  
   
Christen face started to turn red. “That's not what I'm saying.”  
   
“And what I'm saying is, talk to the girl, have a fling, have some fun and get some.” Hope wrapped her arm around her new friend. “I know we've only been friends for like a month, but I'm assuming you’re not normally this wound up all the time. You need to loosen up, and I bet you Tobin Heath can help you with that.”  
   
Christen shook her head, but still she had a huge smile on her face. “You are hopeless.”  
   
“Nope, I am Hope Solo, you’re hopeless.”  
   
As much as Christen wanted to act like she was wrong, Hope was right, she needed to loosen up. She had been in her routine for months and, while it served to take her mind off Kelley and everything that happened, it wasn't really making her happy. She wanted to be happy, she didn't need a girlfriend to be happy, but it would help. Plus, Tobin did look super hot juggling the ball with her feet and a serious look on her face, maybe Christen did need to talk to her.  
   
For the next three weeks, she watched every game, and every time Hope and Lindsey were all over her to talk to Tobin. She kept saying she would when the time was right, it had to be natural, she didn't want to just go up to her and talk. Christen never told her friends about the three times Tobin came into the store and she shyly hide in the back room until she left. By the time the school year was over, Christen never actually spoke to Tobin, and now she had no way of talking to her, until the day the new hires started working at the store.  
   
Christen walked into the back room expecting to see two new guys, hopefully nothing like the old ones, when she saw Tobin, she almost passed out. There she was, standing with her hair pushed back under a snapback, her work shirt a little baggy but still sexy on her, and a shocked look on her face.   
   
—  
   
Christen woke up earlier than normal. She had fallen asleep looking through Tobin’s facebook, which wasn’t a bad thing because her dreams were filled with the girl she liked. Her head was still swimming with the memory of Tobin’s lips on hers, how soft they were, how her hands felt, tentatively placed on Christen’s waist when they finally kissed. Months of waiting for the girl of her dreams to finally notice her, talk to her, and kiss her and every second of waiting had been worth it.  
   
She went through her normal routine, early morning yoga followed by coffee and some light reading. She had extra time on her hands before she dove into her Saturday morning activities with her friends, so she spent it looking through Tobin’s facebook yet again. She couldn’t help it, not that she wanted to, her eyes couldn’t get enough of that smile and those light brown eyes that made her head spin. She thought about sending a relationship request, they had kissed, they had established that they didn’t want to be with anyone else but each other, but had they decided that they were together? Tobin didn’t officially ask Christen to be her girlfriend, but she never actually said that they weren’t together. Christen didn’t want to rush, or assume, or freak Tobin out, after all Tobin was a little nervous about almost everything and maybe just assuming they were a couple would be too much for her. Christen stared at the button on the page and decided this was better left to a group discussion.  
   
After changing into her workout gear, and tying her wavy hair up in a ponytail, she headed down to the kitchen to fill her water bottle. Her mom was in the kitchen microwaving a breakfast sandwich before she headed off to work. Christen bounced into the room and gave her mom a big smile.  
   
“You look happy,” her mom said with a little laugh.  
   
“I had a good night,” Christen responded as she filled her bottle from the refrigerator door.  
   
Her mom nodded her head. “What did you get up to last night?”  
   
Christen tried to hide her smile but it was hard to hide something so prominent.  “I went on a date, and it went really well.”  
   
“A date?” her mom said with a smile. “With who?”  
   
“Her name is Tobin, she works at the store with me.” She put the cap on her bottle and leaned against the appliance. “She’s so sweet, and funny, and smart, and just amazing, and I really like her.”  
   
Her mom took her food from the microwave and juggled it a bit in her hand before it was wrapped in a paper towel. “You look happy. I want to hear all about her tonight when I get home.”  
   
Christen clutched her bottle close to her chest and smiled. “Okay, but it’s going to be over pizza.”  
   
“You got yourself a deal.” Her mom walked over and planted a quick kiss on her daughter’s head. “Love you baby girl, I’ll see you tonight.”  
   
“Love you too, mom.”  
   
Christen and her mother were close, it helped a lot that they had almost the same personality, they were both extremely organized and task oriented people. Her mom was a lawyer for social services, and she spent the majority of her time fighting to save children from abusive families, or trying to put families back together. Christen had always been extremely proud of her, she wanted to be just like her mom, just maybe not a lawyer. Christen wanted to be like her mom in the way that she loved her job, kicked ass at it, but also took care of her family. Her mom never missed a game, and went to a lot of her practices. She always found time to help Christen and her sisters with their homework. Her mom was the exact type of woman she wanted to be, and because of that, she loved sharing everything with her and getting her input, so talking about Tobin was something she needed to do.  
   
Her normal day consisted of a run with Lindsey and a few hours of practice shots against Hope in the park. She grabbed Beckham’s leash and harness and got the dog ready for the morning run. Right on cue Lindsey was outside knocking on the door.  
   
“Hey, you ready?” Christen asked still with a huge smile on her face.  
   
“I take it from that grin, your date with Tobin went well,” Lindsey laughed.  
   
Christen nodded her head. “It went extremely well. She changed my tire.”  
   
“Is that what the kids are calling it now a days?”  
   
“You’re a ridiculous person.” Christen took off running looking back to see her friend sprinting to catch up.  
   
They ran for a little while until they ended up at the park. Christen took her dog over to the built in dog bowl and let him get some water before letting him off the leash so he could roam around while she and Lindsey talked and waited for Hope.  
   
“So, she changed your tire,” Lindsey laughed as they sat in the grass. “On the first date.”  
   
“You’re a pervert. She actually changed my tire.” She gave her friend a little push. “The front tire popped while we were driving home and she changed it.”  
   
“Damn that's pretty hot."   
   
"Right!" Christen got super excited. “After, we talked about everything and we established that we don't want to be with anyone else, but I'm not sure if that means we are officially together or not."  
   
"So you two are not together?"   
   
Christen shrugged. "I'm not sure. I mean, does saying you don't want to be with other people make you a couple, or does it just mean that you're not going to date around?"  
   
Lindsey shook her head. "I have no idea. All that stuff is too confusing for me. That’s why I don't date."  
   
"That and Sam is in looovvveee with Hope." Christen finally got the chance to tease her friend back.  
   
Giving the smiling girl a little push, Lindsey shook her head. "She will notice me... One day."  
   
“Yeah, when you leave me for France." Christen gave her a little pout.   
   
"You'll have Tobin,” Lindsey said happily. "Or at least you'll have each other and not want to have anyone else, but not officially have each other."  
   
Christen gave her a push, this time a little harder. "You wonder why you have no friends."  
   
They sat for a little while longer, talking and laughing, then Hope showed up and they started a light practice. No one was really paying attention because Hope was asking a million questions about the date and trying to help the two hopeless romantics figure out what Christen should do. They kicked the ball around, Lindsey spent half the time chasing Beckham when he stole a ball and ran off with it. Soon, it was late and they had been sitting in the grass for about an hour, so they decided to take off because Christen wanted to go see Tobin when she got off work.  
   
At home, Christen took a quick shower and changed into clothes that looked like she didn't put much effort into, even though she spent her entire shower going over what to wear. She drove over to the parking lot and waited for Tobin to come around the corner, she didn't have to wait long because Meghan and Tobin came bouncing behind Ashlyn as they asked the older girl their after work soccer questions.  
   
After a few minutes of them looking up at the taller woman like she was some kind of legend, Ashlyn pointed over to Christen and smiled. Tobin looked behind her, and as soon as their eyes met, she smiled. Christen couldn't stop the grin that was on her face, after a full day of thinking about that smile, she finally got to see it in person. The two girls said goodbye to their manager and then made their way to Christen, who was standing by her car.  
   
“Hey," Tobin said with a goofy grin.  
   
“Hey," Christen replied with her eyes glued to the brunette. "How was work?"  
   
Tobin shrugged. "Sucked without you."  
   
“Good," she said with a cocky smile. "I want you to miss me."  
   
Tobin pushed her hands in her pocket shyly. "I did."  
   
"Hey Kling, how was work?" Meghan said with a playful attitude. “Oh, it was good Chris, thanks for asking."  
   
Christen started to laugh. "Sorry Kling. How was work?"  
   
"It was fine." Meghan pepped up. "Thanks for asking."  
   
“Well, do you guys want to hang out?" Christen asked, hoping Meghan would catch the hint that she wanted to spend some alone time with Tobin. Lucky for her, the shorter girl had no intention on spending any time with them while they were in the googly eyes phase.  
   
"You two go ahead and hang out, I'm going to text Morgan and see if she wants to do something." She gave Tobin a weird look then got a bag out her trunk, tossing it to Tobin who was too busy looking at Christen to pay attention to the bag being thrown at her. "Well, have fun."  
   
As easy as that, they were alone again. They watched Meghan drive off, giving her a little wave. Christen looked over to Tobin, who still had her hands shoved in her pockets, she was nervous. Christen was nervous too, but more about talking to Tobin about what they were to each other and less about the whole situation.   
   
"What do you want to do?" Christen asked taking a little step forward, trying to close the gap between them.  
   
Tobin shrugged, her eyes were wide with worry and curiosity. "I don't know. Whatever you want to do."  
   
Expecting that answer, Christen looked down at the bag that had hit Tobin in the side and fallen to the ground. "I assume you have soccer stuff in there." She watched Tobin nod her head giving her a shy smile. "Let's go to the park and kick around."  
   
"Yeah, that sounds like fun,” Tobin smiled.  
   
They got in the car and drove to the park. Tobin started to talk about her day at work and some customers that she had to deal with. Christen told her about her run with Lindsey and their practice in the park that was mostly them talking while Hope blocked every single shot they took. Soon they were at the park. Christen was in shorts and a t-shirt so she headed down to the field while Tobin changed in the car. After a few minutes, they were on the field together, kicking the ball around, Tobin promised to take it easy on her since she already practiced today.  
   
Now more comfortable, with a ball at her feet, Tobin started to talk more. She was telling Christen about her plans to play for the Thorns when she graduated, and then go abroad on the off season so she never has to go too long without playing a real game. Christen told her about wanting to play pro, then maybe become a trainer when they finally kick her off the field, which she hoped was when she was sixty and her bones cracked when she ran. The more they talked, the deeper the conversation got, until they found themselves sitting in the goal with their back against the net.  
   
"My parents are really cool about everything, they support me and stuff, I just don't think my mom would handle me being gay very well,” Tobin shared as she tossed the ball in the air and caught it.  
   
Christen nodded her head. "Yeah I get that. I was really afraid to tell my mom. Her and I are like best friends, but it still felt like telling my mom and not a friend. I thought she would freak out, but she didn't, she was so cool about it all. Channing and Tyler each had a mini freak out for like five minutes, not in a bad way, just in a 'oh my god' way. My dad was... Well, he was my dad."  
   
"I take it that's a good thing,” Tobin laughed.  
   
"Yeah." Christen chuckled to herself think about her dad. "He's great, he just doesn't talk a lot. I think he talks so much at work, when he gets home he runs out of words, at least that's the running theory with my sisters."  
   
Tobin tossed the ball high enough to hit the net, then caught it. “Yeah, my dad can be the same way, he communicates more through physical motions then words." She laughed a little, then her face got serious. "I'm not worried about him, I think he already knows. He always says stuff to my mom when she asks me about boys, or tries to make me do something I don't want to do. He was the one that told me I didn't have to go to prom."  
   
"You didn't go to prom?" Christen said, shocked.  
   
Tobin gave her a crazy look. "You think I went to prom? Hell no, I watched movies with Kling."  
   
“Typical," Christen laughed. "I didn't go to my senior prom, but I went to junior prom. It was really fun, a lot more than I thought it would be. I went with my girlfriend Kelley, well my ex-girlfriend.” She swallowed hard, kicking herself a little for mentioning Kelley's name, but Tobin didn’t seem phased by it so she continued on. "But yeah, I got all dressed up and we took a limo with Allie and her boyfriend, and we danced too much and drank a whole bunch of punch. Then we went to an after party, got a little too drunk and I slept at Allie's house, and we had hangovers the whole next day."  
   
"Sounds like typical high school fun."  
   
"It was,” Christen smiled. "I had a lot of typical high school fun. I hate that I missed the second half of my senior year. But then again I was taking P.E., Athletics which is just P.E. for people on a school team, Art, and Music Appreciation.”  
   
“So bullshit classes,” Tobin chuckled.  
   
“Exactly. I had all my credits so I just needed a light schedule so I could play on the soccer team. Honestly if it wasn’t for soccer, I would have probably graduated the way I did then just bummed around LA, surfing and drinking coffee. So I didn’t miss much, but it would have been nice to finish up with my friends." She looked out into the field, it was empty and the sun was starting to set. "I guess it all worked out for the best. If I wouldn't have moved, then I would have had to wait until fall to meet you. Who knows if you would have talked to me then."  
   
"I would’ve talked to you,” Tobin said quickly.   
   
Christen gave her a little push on shoulder. “Oh, yeah, right. You barely spoke to me for like a month."  
   
Tobin lowered her head, a little smile on her face. "Well... You make me nervous."  
   
"Why?" she asked looking down at Tobin, trying to catch her eyes.  
   
Tobin looked up at her. "Because you're beautiful."  
   
She moved a little closer. “Do I still make you nervous?”  
   
Christen looked into those brown eyes, that were now wide with anxiety, as Tobin shook her head, it was barely noticeable, but Christen saw it. She didn't give herself a chance to question it, she leaned in and kissed her. She heard Tobin take a sharp breath in, before her hand reached around Christen's waist and pulled her in a little closer. Christen deepened the kiss, placing her hand on Tobin's cheek, feeling her soft skin. She felt like her head was spinning. How was it possible for every single kiss they shared to be the best kiss in the world?  
   
When they parted, Christen still had her eyes closed, she wanted to stay in that moment for a little longer, but soon she had to open her eyes and when she did Tobin was smiling in front of her. "You're the best,” Christen whispered.  
   
"No way. That title belongs to you,” Tobin whispered back.  
   
With that Christen leaned forward and captured her lips. She needed to kiss her again, it was like she had no choice, her body was calling for Tobin. This kiss was lasting longer than she expected, Christen parted her lips, guiding the inexperienced girl into a deep kiss. She felt Tobin part her lips, she took that as a chance to explore Tobin's mouth with her tongue. Tobin tasted like coffee and peppermint gum, and something so perfectly Tobin, and Christen thought to herself that she was going to get addicted to the way she tasted. She reached blindly for Tobin's hand, finding it quickly and lacing their fingers together.  
   
Before they knew it, they had spent the better part of half an hour just kissing. Christen felt the phone in her pocket buzz, breaking her out of the trance. She pulled away and looked down at her phone, it was her mom, letting her know she was on her way.   
   
"Gah, I have to get home,” she said sadly. "My mom and I are having pizza tonight."  
   
Tobin smiled. "Okay, I should get home too."  
   
They stood up, Tobin tucking the ball under her arm. Christen moved to the side without the ball and reached for Tobin's hand. They walked to the car together, as the put all the stuff in the back seat, they paused for a second to kiss again, and Christen knew that she was now officially addicted to kissing Tobin Heath.  
   
On the drive home, they talked a little about work and how they were excited to get to see each other all day. Soon they were stopped at the same stop sign they were at last night. Christen leaned over, meeting Tobin in the middle and they kissed again.  
   
"Tobin?" Christen asked as the kiss broke, her eyes still closed.  
   
"Yeah?" Tobin answered softly.  
   
Christen lowered her head, nervous to ask the question, but she needed to know. "Are we together?"  
   
"Like girlfriends?" Tobin asked pulling back just a little.  
   
Nodding her head, Christen bit her bottom lip, anxious to hear what Tobin had to say next.  
   
"I want to be... You know, if you do." She gave her a nervous smile.  
   
Christen lunged forward kissing her again, their teeth clashing together a little, but it didn't matter, it was still one of the best kisses of all time. "I do."  
   
They didn't need to say anything else. Christen drove Tobin to her house. They leaned over the center console and hugged each other close, Christen wanted more than anything to kiss her again, she just wanted to feel Tobin's lips against her, but she knew she had to hold off for now. They said their good nights and Christen watched Tobin walk into her house before taking off, the smile never leaving her face. How could it, she was dating Tobin Heath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are not in this for Talex do not go to the next chapter. If you love Talex and you know it, clap your hands and then read the next chapter


	16. The Story of Alex Morgan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's backstory told in her POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to add more of Alex's POV and I didn't want to just spring it on you so I wrote her back story.
> 
>  Also I changed my texting format. The texts are going to get a little muddier (group chats and such) so the format that it's in now will make it easier to read, sorry for getting crazy on ya.
> 
> The biggest, fattest thank you to my new Beta, we've just started our awkward journey and I'm already crazy grateful.

Alex and Morgan walked up the stairs and into the first bedroom on the left, the only bedroom that was actually still a bedroom since her parents turned her sisters rooms into a gym and a home office. She shut the door and jumped on her bed, landing on her back and letting out a huge sigh.  
   
“So Meghan hates me.” Alex said as she stretched her arms out on her bed.  
   
Morgan went over and laid next to her. “I don’t think she hates you. It’s all so new.”  
   
“Yeah, I know.” She turned just her head to look at her best friend. “I just want her to like me, for Tobin.”  
   
“Don’t worry so much.” Morgan lifted her arm and let it fall on Alex. “Just give it some time. And if she doesn’t like you by the time we start dating, I’ll force her to like you.”  
   
Alex let out a loud laugh. “Thanks hun.” She flipped over on her side, letting her hand rest under her head. “So do you think you two will start dating?”  
   
“I hope so.” Morgan flipped over to face her friend.  
   
“She seemed like she liked you, ya know, under all her hatred for me.” Alex said with a smile.  
   
Morgan reached over and gave her a little slap on the arm. “She doesn’t hate you. And she seemed nervous.”  
   
“That’s just how they are.” Alex laughed thinking about how nervous Tobin is almost all the time. “I’ve been waiting for Tobin to get over her nerves for how long now?”  
   
“Like, forever.” Morgan laughed. “But it was worth it right?”  
   
“For sure.” A huge smile came on her face. “She is so great Moe, like beyond great, she’s amazing, astounding, marvelous and all the other synonyms. I don’t think I have ever been this happy.”  
   
Morgan started to laugh. “Good, you deserve a little happiness.”  
   
“You do too.” Alex said with a huge smile. “I’m sure Meghan will get it together soon.”  
   
“She better.” Morgan huffed as she sat up in the bed. “I’ve been trying for like two years and this is the first real conversation I have ever had with her, and even now it was all about food. I mean, why do we like those two again?”  
   
Alex sat up, leaning over and putting her head on her friends shoulder. “Because they’re cute, and sweet, and smart, and funny, and soccer studs.”  
   
“Is that all?” she laughed leaning her head over on the top of Alex’s head.  
   
“I am warning you now, when you do start dating, you're going to have to take it slow with her. If she is anything like Tobin she is not ready for pretty much everything.”  
   
She started to chuckle. “Did Alex Morgan have to pump the breaks?”  
   
“Pretty much.” Alex laughed. “I’m the first person that she has ever dated. I am her first kiss, the first person she has held hands with, her first date, everything. If I’m not mistaken, it’s the same thing for Meghan, so you're going to have to pump the breaks with her.”  
   
Morgan hopped out of the bed, she placed her hands on her head and took a deep breath. “Well, I need to focus on getting her to like me first.”  
   
“She already likes you.” Alex said with a little laugh. “You just have to break her out of her nervous shell. I need to get her to like me.”  
   
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She did a little hop turning around and walking towards the door. “I’m going to take a shower. I’m sleeping here tonight.”  
   
“Knock yourself out.” Alex watched as her friend took some clothes from her drawer and walked out of the room. 

\--

She and Morgan had been friends since they were eight. It was at their first practice during on the local U8 team that Alex met Morgan. A scrawny little girl with a thick southern accent came running up to her and introduced herself, they quickly fell into a rhythm and were practically inseparable ever since. Alex couldn’t imagine her life without Morgan standing right beside her, encouraging her, keeping her sane, wiping her tears, laughing at her corny jokes. The fact that they were going to be across the country from each other was one of the most painful things in the world. Alex had no idea what the next year of her life was going to look like. She was looking forward to it, but she was scared to face it without her best friend.  
   
It was at a joint practice a few weeks after meeting Morgan that Alex fell in love with a long legged, shy girl who could take the ball from one end of the field to another without a single player coming close to touching her, though Alex was too young to know it was love. She watched as a girl, basically all limbs and long brown hair, jetted down the field spinning around everyone never losing sight of the goal and never letting the ball leave her feet. She watched her score a goal and run around the field with her arms out. 

When the girl finally stopped running around, Alex went up to her, she had huge brown eyes, a crooked smile and skin tanned like she had never seen the inside of a house. Alex looked her up and down one good time, then stole the ball from her and took off running down the field. When she was halfway to the goal, she looked back to see the girl running after her with a serious look on her face. After Alex successfully put the ball in the back of the net, she turned to see the girl leaned over with her hands on her knees. Alex walked up to her, hands placed on her hips as she did when she was proud of herself and started to talk to her.  
   
“I’m Alex.” She said with a smile.  
   
The girl looked up at her, those brown eyes burning into her. “You’re fast.”  
   
“I have to be.” She stuck her chin up. “I’m a forward.” She studied the girl in front of her, who was now standing tall. “What do you play?”  
   
“Midfield.” She said still a little out of breath.  
   
“My friend Morgan plays midfield too.” She waited for a response but it didn’t seem like she was going to get one. “What’s your name?”  
   
“Tobin.” She said in a low voice.  
   
Alex cracked a smile. “That’s a weird name.”  
   
Tobin simply lowered her eyebrows and turned her head a little to the side.  
   
“I’m on the Tigers, we’re wearing blue.” She waited again for the girl to talk but it seemed like Tobin wasn’t much of a talker. “What team are you on?”  
   
“The Knights.” She said simply.  
   
“You guys are wearing black. My mom says that’s going to be hot.” She studied her, the way her eyebrows lowered and her lips pressed together, even at a young age Alex realized Tobin was shy and she was probably not going to get many words out of her. She opened her mouth to say something else, but her name was called out by her coach on the sideline, it was time to start practice. “I have to go.” She said waiting for Tobin to speak again, but when she didn’t Alex just gave her a huge smile. “See you on the pitch.” She waved and then took off running towards her new team.  
   
That was the first conversation she had with Tobin Heath, and the last real one she would have for a long time. They were never in the same class, so she never spoke to her in elementary school. They were never on the same little league team until middle school. But every time Alex saw her, every time their teams played each other, or she got a glimpse of her coming in from recess as her class was heading out, every single time she saw Tobin Heath, she got a funny feeling in her stomach, something she wouldn’t understand until high school.  
   
The first day of soccer practice during middle school was the first time Alex got to really see Tobin again. Soccer had become serious, all the players on the little league teams that were only there because their moms forced them were now gone, and the only ones left were the ones who were serious about the game. Alex stood on the field in her tank top and shorts with her socks pulled up to her knees, a brand new pair of cleats tied tight and her best friend standing next to her. This was the first time they were going to have try outs to be on a team, the first time it was a real competition, the moment Alex had been waiting for. All summer she had been preparing, kicking the ball around with Morgan and getting her speed up, there was nothing that was going to take her away from this, except maybe a girl juggling the ball with her feet while the coach was trying to talk.  
   
It was Tobin and Alex had not seen her since the last soccer game of the year. She had changed, her legs seemed to have gotten longer, her hair a little messier and care free and she now had on a pair of glasses, thick black rims sitting on the bridge of her nose, she kept pushing them up as she kicked the ball in the air. Alex was trying to pay attention to what the coach was saying, but how could she when Tobin was juggling the ball with her feet and popping it in the air and catching it on her forehead. It wasn’t until the coached yelled for Tobin to pay attention that Alex was snapped out of her trance. Still, the entire tryout she would look over to watch Tobin as she smoked everyone on the field, blowing past them, spinning and turning to get to the goal where she fired it in every time.  
   
During drills, Alex was put up against Tobin, this was the first time they would be face to face since the first day they met. Alex looked over and gave her a smile, but Tobin looked away, she was already focused on the ball and now Alex needed to be too. When the whistle blew, Alex dribbled the ball and blew past Tobin. She was halfway down the field when she looked back and saw Tobin coming down after her. When Alex was in the box, she kicked the ball high and into the corner, scoring. She turned around to see Tobin bent over with her hands on her knees.  
   
“You’re fast.” Tobin said looking up at her.  
   
Alex put her hands on her hips. “I have to be… I’m a forward.”  
   
The tryouts went on, and Tobin showed up everyone on the field with her skill, but she still couldn’t beat Alex in the sprints at the end. When the coach blew the final whistle and everyone sat in circle around him, Alex spent the whole time looking over at Tobin, watching her spin the ball between her fingers. No matter what she was doing it seemed like she had to have a ball with her, moving. After the coach was done talking, Alex went up to Tobin and finally spoke to her.  
   
“Hey, I’m Alex.” She said simply.  
   
Before Tobin could even think of a response, a short girl was standing beside her with a huge grin. “I’m Meghan, that’s Tobin, she doesn’t talk much.” She looked over at her friend, who shrugged. “You play forward, right?”  
   
“Yeah,” Alex said as her mind settled on the fact that she was not going to get to talk to Tobin like she wanted. “Hopefully I’ll make the team, there are a lot of older girls here.”  
   
“Oh I’m sure you’ll make the team, you’re faster than anyone on the field.” Meghan was cheerful and had a lot of energy. “I’m a defender. Tobin plays midfield.”  
   
Alex nodded her head. “Yeah I can see that. My best friend plays midfield.” She said it loud enough for Tobin to hear, but the only response was a quick glance up before she went back to untying her cleats. Alex was about to say something else when Morgan called out for her to hurry up. She looked over to Tobin for a second, before giving the girl in front of her a smile and a wave. “Well, I’ve gotta go. See you on the pitch.”  
   
The following Monday, the tryout results were posted on the bulletin board outside the gym. All the girls crowded around to look for their names. Alex went up, pushing her way through cheering girls who made it and crying ones who didn’t. As she got to the front, she looked at the list, under forwards was her name. She quickly went to the midfield and saw Morgan’s name. Before she pushed her way out of the crowd, she scanned down to see Tobin’s name, then the defenders to see Meghan’s name. She made her way to her best friend.  
   
“We made it.” Alex shouted throwing her arms around her best friend’s neck.  
   
“Yeah we did.” Morgan cheered as they parted and held up her hand. “Power Team.”  
   
“Power Team.” Alex said, slapping her friend’s hand.  
   
As they celebrated, she saw Tobin and Meghan hanging around the outskirts. Tobin was kicking a ball back and forth between her feet, while Meghan was looking over at the crowd. Alex assumed they were waiting for the mob to die down; since Meghan was the shortest girl out there, she probably didn’t want to push her way through, and Tobin seemed too calm to worry about it. She dragged Morgan over to them.  
   
“You guys made it.” Alex said with a smile.  
   
Tobin looked up at her and gave a quick smile before she went back to kicking the ball.  
   
Meghan jumped in the air. “Yes.” She looked over to Alex. “You are being serious right? Like, this isn’t a joke?”  
   
“It’s not a joke. You guys made it.” She was talking to the excited girl jumping around, but she was hoping to get a response from Tobin, who didn’t seem to be bothered by the news either way. Alex could have just told them the world was ending and Tobin probably would still be kicking the ball around. For some reason, this didn’t make Alex angry, instead she wanted more than anything to get her attention, but Morgan was dragging her away. “Okay, we’ll see you guys out there.” As she was being pulled, she gave a wave and said, “Bye Tobin.”  
   
Tobin looked up at her, those brown eyes wide and curious under her glasses. She gave a wave before looking back down at the ball and resuming her activity.  
   
For the rest of middle school, they played on the team, even had a few classes together, but Tobin never spoke a word to her. In the seventh grade Alex dated a boy who was super sweet and had kind green eyes, but she was never really interested in him, she only said yes because all her friends told her to. They dated for a month then broke up. It was the summer between seventh and eighth grade that she had the feeling that maybe she didn’t like boys they way all her friends did, but it was strange and she didn’t really like thinking about it, so she didn’t. In the eighth grade she dated another boy, he was cool and played soccer on the boy’s team. Alex like him as a friend so she didn’t mind hanging out with him. He would hold her hand when they sat together and that didn’t bother her either, she just wasn’t as excited about it as she thought she should be.  
    
Summer before the ninth grade, the start of high school, Alex talked to Morgan about how she didn't think she liked boys the way she was supposed to like them. Much to her surprise, her best friend was accepting and loving about it, she wouldn't know for another year that Morgan had the same kind of feelings. 

During soccer tryouts, the first day of school, Alex was standing in her shorts and tank top, her socks pulled high on her legs. She was trying to listen to what the coach was saying but, again, she was distracted by a girl juggling the ball off to the side, not paying attention to what was being said to the group. She was taller and had grown into her long legs. Her glasses were gone, giving way to her light eyes and allowing her high cheekbones to be seen. Her hair was still long and light brown, but it was more tamed, pulled back in a low pony tail that swung back and forth as she bounced around. Alex tried to listen to what was being said to the team, but all her attention was on Tobin, carefree and happy, kicking the ball up and swinging her legs around it.

Throughout the tryout, Alex watched Tobin closely, she had grown into her body, got more control over her long limbs and over the ball at her feet. She smiled more now, but it was over to Meghan, who always seemed to be glued to her side. When they were told to pair up a midfielder to a forward, Alex immediately went over and stood in front of Tobin. When the whistle was blown, Alex took the ball and jetted down the field. It was about midfield when she turned to see Tobin running after her, only this time she was close on her heels. Alex started running faster, and when she was in the box, she fired the ball into the back of the net. She turned to see Tobin standing up with her hands on her hips, only a little out of breath. 

"You're fast,” Tobin said.

Alex put her hands on her hips, gave a big smile, and started to walk by her. "I have to be, I'm a forward."

Tobin didn't get a chance to respond, not that she would have, but that was exactly what Alex wanted. She wasn't going to give Tobin Heath another chance to not talk. Alex walked away without looking back, she couldn’t, if she did Tobin would see the big smile on her face. 

After tryouts were over, Alex sat untying her cleats, watching Tobin on the field kicking around, doing spins and other tricks by herself. The way she played, like there was nothing else in the world but her and the ball, the smile on her face each time she would do a trick perfectly, that was the thing that Alex liked about her. She may have been quiet and shy, but she was passionate, and Alex wanted more than anything to be just like that. 

Morgan plopped down beside her friend and looked down the field. "She's good,” she said, watching Alex watch Tobin.

“Yeah," Alex said without looking away.

"She's going to make it to the national team,” Morgan said as Tobin did another crazy trick. She watched as Alex never took her eyes off Tobin, not for a second, not even to look down at her hands taking off her cleats. "You like her."

That snapped Alex out of her thoughts. "What? No I don't."

"Yes you do." She pushed her friend. "You like Tobin Heath."

Alex sat up straight and pushed her back. "No I don't." She got up and headed towards the locker room. 

Morgan chased after her. "You should go talk to her."

“Yeah, right,” Alex scoffed. "Tobin Heath only says two words to me every year, 'you're fast' after that it’s radio silence with that girl."

The young girl threw her head back in laughter. "She is shy. Tobin doesn't talk to anyone."

"So why are you telling me to go talk to her?" Alex shuffled her equipment in her hand. 

"Because you like her,” Morgan teased. "If you like her you should go talk to her."

"I don't like her,” Alex snapped. She stopped walking and turned to face her friend, who stopped in her tracks too. "I don't like her okay. I'm not even sure I like girls. But I am sure I don't like Tobin Heath. Okay?"

"Okay."

Alex gave her a stern look. "Okay."

They took off into the locker room where everyone was sitting around talking about how they did. Alex was quiet. She kept going over the conversation in her head. Did she like Tobin? No, that was impossible, she had barely spoken to the girl, how could she like her? Sure, Tobin was great at soccer, beyond great, and she seemed really nice, well, because she didn't talk she had no chance to be mean, and she was pretty, Alex liked her eyes and her tan skin, but that didn't mean she liked her. She was still on the fence about the whole liking girls thing, but even if she did like girls, she couldn't like Tobin, she didn't know her. 

The next three years went by like a blur. Of course they made the team freshman, sophomore and junior year. They ran track during their off season and even spent the majority of their summer at one practice or another. Alex and Morgan were popular, they got invited to every party and even hung out with upperclassmen. Alex dated a boy on the soccer team who was a really great guy and Alex thought she might have real feelings for him, but they broke up and she wasn't really upset about it. Summer before junior year, she decided that she wasn't going to date someone just because they liked her, she needed to figure out what she wanted first. It was junior year that everything kind of fell into place. 

Sometime during the beginning of junior year, Alex started talking to an upperclassman, a girl on the volleyball team. She was super nice and extremely popular. Alex wasn't out yet so they dated in secret at first, the relationship lasted all the way into the summer of senior year, but the whole thing collapsed in a tragic way and Alex swore she would never date again. 

Tryouts in their senior year went a little different, the seniors that were on the team the first three years didn't have to tryout, they automatically got a spot, so when the underclassman had practice during the summer, all the seniors who ran track and played soccer would sit around after track practice and watch them play. Everyone was gathered around Alex, Morgan and the team captain JJ in the stands, listening to them talk, everyone except Tobin and Meghan, who were down on the first step in the stands having their own conversation. For some reason, at one of the practices Alex felt compelled to go talk to them, so she made an excuse and headed down the stands, but when she got down there, she freaked herself out and walked away.

She headed to the bathroom behind the stands and stood with her back against the wall, kicking herself. When she got close to Tobin and Meghan, she heard them talking, nothing major just discussing players and how they were doing, but that was the first real time she had ever heard Tobin say more than a 'yeah' or 'no' towards teachers and coaches. That was the first time she heard the low scratchy pitch of her voice in full force, the first time she heard her laugh, and it sent a chill down her spine. She had figured it out, she liked Tobin Heath.

Before she got a chance to get herself together, Morgan was in the bathroom looking at her. "What are you doing?"

"I think I like Tobin Heath,” Alex said with her eyes shut as tight as she could get them. She waited for a second before opening them and looking over to her best friend. 

“Well, yeah." Morgan laughed loudly. "I could have told you that."

"Shut up. I hate you." Alex started to pace. "I don't get it. I don't even know her. I've barely spoken to her besides yelling on the field."

"I don't know hun, but I'm pretty sure you've had a crush on her for like, years." Morgan was sweet and had been trying to tell Alex this for a long time, but never wanted to push. "You should just talk to her."

Alex shook her head. "No, there's no point. Tobin is oblivious to everything that isn't soccer, and besides, I'm not dating anymore."

“Lex, you can't let Val do this to you." She watched her friend cringe at the mention of her ex-girlfriends name. "I'm just saying, Tobin is different and maybe if you tried, she might start talking to you."

As much as Alex knew her best friend was right, there was no way she was going to be able to talk to Tobin. That girl was the one person in the world that made her nervous, that made her forget words. Tobin had made her feel this way since elementary school even though they had shared about twenty words with each other. It was her senior year and she was only a few months out of the worst relationship she had ever had, this was not the time to take a chance on the one girl in the world who never spoke to her.

"There's no point. Tobin only knows I exist when I'm on the field." Alex pushed her hair behind her ears, checking her face in the mirror. "I just don't see us ever talking."

"I don't know, I think you'd be pleasantly surprised."

Throughout the summer, Morgan tried to force Alex to talk to Tobin almost every day. The two of them would stand around and watch Meghan and Tobin get in trouble for playing soccer during track. This was when Alex finally got Morgan to admit she like Meghan. Everyday, her best friend would try to get her to at least have a conversation with Tobin, but every time she would find an excuse. She almost had the courage one time, but when she tried to talk to Tobin, her best friend was there to take her place. 

During the start of senior year, Alex never actually got a word in with Tobin, so she told herself she was going to stay single. Her last relationship had gone so wrong, it was almost impossible to think of anyone who could capture her attention. More than halfway through the year, a girl did get her attention. She was kind, patient and understanding. When Alex told her she wanted to move slow, she didn't push. For the first time, Alex felt loved and cared for, but something was eating at her.

"So how are things going with JJ?" Morgan asked as the got dressed in the locker room.

Alex looked down at the blonde on the other side of the room. "Good, great, she's great." She responded in a nonchalant voice.

"That doesn't sound too promising." Morgan knew the sound of Alex's unsure voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alex bent over to tie her shoes. "She great, sweet, patient and loving. I don't know what's wrong with me, JJ is perfect, I mean look at her, she freaking gorgeous."

Morgan looked down at the captain of the team, she was talking to a few of the younger girls. JJ was amazing, probably one of the nicest people she had ever met. She was tall with long blonde hair that she usually kept pushed back, showing off her big blue eyes. She and Alex had been together about a month, they kept their relationship a secret because Alex wasn't ready to share it with the team or the whole world. In all aspects JJ was great and perfect for Alex, well, in all aspects but one, she wasn't Tobin.

“Well, she really likes you Lex, so if you don't feel the same about her you should probably let her know." She stood up and walked out of the locker room, leaving Alex alone with her thoughts.

Alex looked over to the beautiful blonde who looked like she was almost done talking to the underclassmen. Morgan was right, JJ did like her a lot, and she hated to admit that JJ liked her much more than she like JJ, and it sucked because the girl was absolutely incredible, the perfect girlfriend and everything she was looking for, so why didn't she feel the way JJ did about her?

As she was about to go talk with her girlfriend, there was a huge crash by the lockers behind her. She got up and looked behind the locker to see Tobin and Meghan standing by the lockers with wide eyes. They were kicking the ball around and they managed to kick the ball into the window that went to coach’s office. The glass was shattered, but the mesh was holding it together. 

Meghan looked over to Tobin. "Coach is going to kill you."

"You're the one that missed the pass.” Tobin responded.

They went back and forth for a second before the coach came out the office. "Heath, Klingenberg, get in here now."

They turned their heads to face each other with scared looks on their faces before heading into the office. Alex watched as they rounded the corner, Tobin looked back and gave Alex a little smile before disappearing into the office.

JJ came up behind Alex and hooked her arm around her waist. "Those two are toast." She laughed a little before planting a small kiss on Alex's temple. "Let's get out of here babe, I'm starving."

Alex looked over to her and gave her a small smile. “Okay, yeah, let's go."

For the next few months, Alex continued to see JJ, getting closer to her but never close enough for either of them to feel completely comfortable. It was a few weeks before graduation when Julie told Alex that she didn't think they should be together anymore, she never gave a reason, she just told her it was better that way. A week later, Morgan confessed that Julie asked her about Alex and why she wouldn't let her get close. Morgan told her that Alex was a hard person to get close to. Morgan never told Alex that she told Julie that she had feelings for someone else.

After the graduation ceremony, Alex told herself she was going to find a way to talk to Tobin. She looked over at her in her cap and gown, her hair down, her eyes still big and brown, and her smile still perfect. Over the years, Tobin had grown more and more into herself, her features becoming more predominate, serving to take her from cute to incredibly sexy, a fact that Alex had noticed a lot. But Tobin was still shy, she still never talked past some confirmation words towards teachers and coaches, and of course, the quiet conversations she had with Meghan. Alex only got a chance to hear her talk a few times throughout the year but each time it sent a rush through her body. Even though she wanted to talk to her, say something, anything to her, she couldn’t, so she left graduation not doing the one thing she told herself she would do.

Not being able to talk to Tobin just made things worse. Alex was already pretty upset with herself and her entire life, she was heading to California which was great but it was without her best friend. In her head she knew moving to California was the best thing for her, she needed to get away, have a fresh start. There was something inside her that just didn't want to be Alex Morgan anymore, she wanted to be someone else and the only way she could do that was to get far away from New Jersey and her past. 

The second day of her summer job, she decided she was going to buy a new pair of cleats for California. The only good soccer store in town was The Pitch, so she headed down one afternoon. Before she could open the door, she looked in the window and saw a girl holding a ton of boxes, trying not to drop them as she headed to the counter. When she set the boxes down, Alex saw the girl was Tobin. There was no way she was ready to talk to her, so she turned around without going in. 

That night, she sat on her bed staring at the wall, trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do, when Morgan came in and jumped on her bed. 

"Why do you look so sad?" Morgan asked.

Alex fell back on her pillows. "Guess who works at The Pitch?"

"Abby Wambach,” Morgan joked. 

"Nope, freaking Tobin Heath,” she said emphasizing Tobin's name. "I went there to buy cleats and she was in there, carrying boxes."

"Shit." She wiggled her way up to her best friend. "So did you talk to her?"

"Of course not,” Alex huffed. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Babe, you gotta get over this." Morgan gave her a little push. "You have to talk to her eventually."

Alex sat up. "No I don't. I'm going to Cali, I don't ever have to talk to her."

"And when we are all on the National Team together and she has some smokin hot super model on her arm, you will kick herself in the face knowing that you could have been on that muscular arm."

Alex turned her head to look at her. "You're crazy."

"No, you're crazy." She sat up behind her and put her chin on Alex’s shoulder. "Just go in and talk to her. It's Tobin, you've liked her for like, ever, it's time you did something about it."

"I hate you,” Alex huffed.

“Yeah, I know." Morgan put her arms around Alex's waist and held onto her tight.

It was a week later when Alex finally found the courage to go into the store. She stood there for fifteen minutes, turning down help from the store workers. She was there for one reason and she needed to get it done. Right when she was about to give up, Tobin came out the back. She had a worried look on her face, but that was nothing new, Tobin always looked a little worried, and she always looked perfect with her light brown hair pulled back under a black snap back, her jeans with a hole in the knee and a baggy t-shirt that somehow looked amazing on her. With everything she had in her, Alex took a step forward and finally spoke.

"Tobin."

\--

Alex got up from her bed and headed downstairs. The house was quiet, which always freaked her out. Growing up there was always some kind of noise going on. Her sisters would play music in their rooms, both of them trying to compete for most emotional teenager. Her dad was always in the garage, tinkering with a car or something else. Her mom was always on the phone talking to someone about work she should have finished before coming home. Now the house was quite most of the time. Jenny was home for the summer but she spent most of her days and nights over her friend’s house or out who knows where. The only sound that filled the halls now was Obi Wan's dog tags clinking together. When she was younger, she hated the noise everyone created, she never got a moment of silence, but now she missed it.

She headed to the kitchen to take bottles of water out of the refrigerator, her dad was standing watching the microwave cook something that smelled pretty good.

"Hey sweetheart,” he said as Alex opened the fridge. "You're back from your date... That's what it was right? A date?"

Alex nodded her head and gave him a smile. "Yeah sort of, it was more of a get together and get to know each other type of thing."

He looked like he didn't understand but he nodded his head like he did. "Who are the two other girls?"

"Tobin and Meghan."

"Those are the two that always sat away from the team during away games."

Alex chuckled a bit. “Yeah, that's them."

He nodded his head again. "Which one is yours?"

That made her laugh out loud. "Tobin is 'mine.'"

"Hey I don't know what terms you guys use now a days." He held up his hands in fake offense. "She's the taller one, right?"

“Yeah, that's her." Alex closed the door to the refrigerator and leaned against it. "We've been talking for about a week, but we've only been together a few days."

"Hmm." He pressed his lips together in thought. "Well, bring her around, you know, when you're ready."

"Don't worry dad, you'll meet her." She took a few steps towards him and stood on her tip toes to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. "I'm going to get in bed. Moe's here by the way."

“Okay, don't stay up too late." The microwave went off and he reached over to get his food out. Alex turned to walked back up the stairs before she could get up the first step he shouted over to her. "Hey Lex... You seem happy."

Alex thought for a second. "I am."

He smiled over at her. "Good.... Night, sweetheart."

“Night, Dad."

Alex had the type of relationship with her father that most people talked about wanting. He was a typical father in the way that he taught her how to ride a bike, he grilled hot dogs for her and her friends, he fixed things around the house and he taught her how to punch a guy if she ever needed it. Their closeness came about when he realized Alex was interested in a lot of the things he was. He was a big soccer fan, he loved cars and he always told crazy jokes. By the time Alex was ten they practically had their own language. They would tell jokes back and forth that no one else got. They spent hours in the garage or in the back yard. In a lot of ways, her dad was like another best friend. When Alex came out, he was the first person in the family to know. She just told him one day while she was under the car, holding the flashlight. He didn't even look over at her when he said "that's cool, hand me the 9/16 wrench." After he was done putting in the new starter and they were standing up, he hugged her close and told her how much he loved her. He was one of the biggest reason she was going to miss home.

When Alex got up to her room, Morgan was drying her hair with a towel, she had on a pair of Alex's shorts and one of her shirts, though all the clothes they had were basically both of theirs because they stopped keeping track of who was wearing who's. 

"So dad just asked me about Tobin,” Alex said, closing the door.

Morgan chuckled to herself. "Oh yeah, was he cool?"

“Yeah, he’s always cool." Alex set the waters on the desk and started to change into some sleep clothes.

Morgan finished her hair and jumped into the bed. "Have you told your mom?"

“Nope,” Alex said, popping the 'p' at the end.

"Lex, you need to talk to her." 

Alex had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, she got in bed next to her friend. “No, I really don't."

"Come on, you two need to figure this out.” Morgan huffed.

"Not now." Alex growled as she realized the waters were still on the desk, she got up to grab them. "Summer is over in like two months, I can go that long without mentioning Tobin to her at all." She threw one of the bottles to the girl looking wide eyed at her.

"That's crazy." Morgan caught the bottle and cracked the lid. "What happens when you two get really serious? What happens when you decided to get married and have babies and all that stuff?"

"As much as I like picturing getting married and having babies, it's way too soon for that, Tobin still gets nervous when she kisses me." She got back in bed. "If and when Tobin finally gets it together enough to propose then I'll tell my mom. But at the rate things are going it'll be like fifty years before her nerves die down enough for her to ask me to marry her."

Morgan swallowed hard choking a little. "You know she'll find out eventually."

"Let her." She turned over setting the bottle down and turning off the light on her end table. "I'm not worried about it. I'm happy right now, Tobin makes me happy and I don't want my mother getting in it and finding a way to fuck it up. If she finds out fine, but I am not telling her."

That was the end of the topic of Alex's mom. They talked a bit about the night and what Morgan should do to talk with Meghan, then they fell asleep. Alex didn't have the greatest relationship with her mom, for some reason it was always strained, they just never really clicked. Alex loved her mom and there was no doubt in her mind that her mom loved her too, but they were not friends, they were barely acquaintances. They were more like roommates who didn't need to speak, it had been that way ever since Alex came out, it got worse when she told her parents she applied for Berkeley, and even worse when she got in. There was no way she was going to tell her mom about Tobin, not now, not when she was finally happy.

 

\--

The morning came and Morgan stood over her sleeping friend giving her a little shake. “Hey hun, I gotta go.” She heard a little groan come from the pile of hair cover Alex's face. “You've gotta be up in an hour, I set your alarm.” Another groan that sounded like confirmation came out. Morgan stood up straight. “Tobin texted you.”

Alex popped up and grabbed her phone. “She texted me good morning. She's so sweet.”

Morgan started to laugh and shake her head. “Later, loser.”

“Later.” She responded, her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed out a message.

Alex texted her girlfriend for the few short minutes Tobin had before she headed into work, but now Alex was up and there was no going back to sleep. She had an hour before she needed to get ready; for the first time in weeks she decided to make a decent breakfast.

After making a mess in the kitchen, she sat down to pancakes and eggs, and decided her time was best spent scrolling through Tobin's Facebook photos. This was the first time she was really getting the chance, after all, they didn't become friends on Facebook until after they started dating and Tobin's profile was extremely private.

There weren't many pictures, everything was mostly tags from Meghan about soccer or cute animals. Tobin wasn't a big picture taker. The ones she had were of her on the field, which was typical Tobin, she was at home on the field. Alex made a mental note to force her to take more pictures, especially ones with them together. Tobin's feed was filled with highlights from soccer games and tags of bible verses from her mom, it seemed like her girlfriend was not much on social media. She didn't have an Instagram or a snapchat, and her Tumblr was all soccer, Supergirl and Broad City. There wasn't much you could tell about her from her online presence but that was okay because Alex wanted to ask questions, she wanted to get to know Tobin the old fashioned way, talking to her face to face, she wanted to see the look in her eyes when she talked about the things she loved. 

As she scrolled through, she finally found one good photo of Tobin hidden on her Tumblr account. She was on the soccer field of course but she was sitting down, a soccer ball in her hands, her cleats untied, her shorts grass stained. She was looking over at the camera, her hair was a little messy and her tan skin was shiny from sweat but she had a smile on her face, the same one that made Alex weak every time she saw it. Alex smiled, this was Tobin, her Tobin, finally, after all these years, this was her Tobin, happy wasn't the right word for how she felt.

“Hey, why are you smiling so much?”

Alex turned to see Jenny walking in the house, she had been out all night and was finally making it home. Her older sister came over and looked at Alex's phone.

“Wow, that would make me smile too,” she said as she looked at the photo of Tobin. “Is that the girlfriend? She's a cutie.”

Alex nodded her head. “That's Tobin.”

“You should definitely keep her.” Jenny picked up the fork on Alex's plate and took a huge bite of her eggs. 

Alex watched as her sister cut practically half her pancakes and shoved them in her mouth. “I think I'll keep her.”

“As long as you're happy,” she said through a mouth full of pancakes. “I don't want to have to kick her ass or anything.”

“You won't have to, not with her,” Alex said with a smile.

Jenny drank some of the coffee from Alex's mug then gave her a quick kiss on the top of head. “Good. I love you little sis.”

“Love you too.” 

Jenny left upstairs to get what Alex knew were her first few hours of sleep since the last late morning she crawled into the house. Alex sat and finished what was left of her meal then took off to get ready for work.

The relationship she had with her sisters was never complicated or weird, it kind of just was what it was. They were older than her and closer in age so Alex spent a lot of time on the outskirts trying to find her way in. Jenny and Jeri didn't really play sports, they spent most of their time trying to find different ways to put on makeup. The both left home for college but stayed relatively close, they came to a few of Alex's games and spent most holidays with the family. But Jeri was almost done with school and had already decided to stay in and finish her masters before finding a job, and Jenny was partying her way through yet still maintaining a 3.5 gpa. They were both upset to hear Alex decided to go to California instead of a closer school but they understood why and supported her.

When Alex came out to her sisters, they were both extremely supportive, asking her a ton of questions. They both took the time to remind her how much they loved her and to let her know nothing had changed between them and they would always love her. After Alex came out to her mom, she spent an hour under the blankets crying with her head in Jeri’s lap while Jenny rubbed her back. Under the blankets was their safe place, even when they were older, they still hid from the world and told secrets with a sheet over all their heads. Alex missed her sisters, she missed them singing in the halls and dancing in the living room. She even missed them torturing her by pushing her in closets and locking her out of the room. The house was weird without them, another reason she needed to get out.

She got ready for work, a quick shower and putting on her hideous orange polo. She drove to work with a smile, her mind was on her girlfriend and those gorgeous brown eyes she couldn't wait to see. Even when she got to work, the creepy guy she worked with couldn't bring her down.

Tobin texted her a few times throughout the day, which always served to put a smile on her face. She loved how goofy Tobin was, her texts were always kind of serious but were followed by emojis that didn't make any sense. The longer they texted, the more ridiculous it got. Tobin was becoming more and more comfortable, which made Alex happy, they were both starting to open up a lot more. They would tell each other serious things one text and then joke around the next one. The only thing Alex regretted was not getting to do this earlier in life, she hated only having a few months left when they could see each other.

Towards the middle of the day, she was stacking boxes of pens, lost in thought, waiting for the phone in her back pocket to buzz when she heard a voice call out to her.

“I think you're stacking those wrong.”

She turned to see a pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

“Hey JJ.” Alex stood up and hugged her friend. “What are you doing here?”

The blonde held up a pack of pens. “I keep sticking pens in my pocket and washing them, work won't let me have any more so I'm buying my own.”  

“You need fifty?” She pointed at the giant pack. 

“Trust me, I need fifty.” She laughed a bit lowering her head. After a few seconds, she looked up at Alex. “So I saw you and Tobin are a thing now.”

“Uh-yeah, it's been a few days now.” Alex pushed her hands in her back pockets.

She nodded her head, the bleach blonde hair falling in her face a little. “I can't believe you got her to talk.”

“Yeah, I know.” Alex chuckled. “She actually talks a lot when you get her started.”

JJ nodded her head again, still looking down a little. “So it’s Tobin.”

Alex rocked on her heels. “It's Tobin.”

“It was kind of always Tobin… Right?” She looked up her, blue eyes cutting through Alex.

“J,” she said in almost a whisper.

JJ shook her head and gave a small laugh. “No, I know.” She slapped the pack of pens in her hands. “As long as you're happy. I don't want to have to hunt her down.”

“Actually you won't have to, I meant to text you and Becks,” Alex rushed out. “Tobin and Meghan are going to the National Team game with a bunch of their friends…”

“Those two have a bunch of friends?”

“Yeah, I know, right?” She laughed a little at the thought. “Well, we all want to go together so her friend Hope is buying the tickets and booking a hotel suite and we just have to pay her back.”

“Cool, sounds good to me.” 

Now she could smile. “Awesome, I'll text you tomorrow after she buys the tickets and let you know how much.”

“Okay, sounds good.” She gave her a huge smile before starting to walk away. “Hey Lex, I'm glad you're happy.”

Alex smiled. “Thanks JJ, I'll see you later.”

“Yeah, later.”

Alex watched her walk away and disappear into the store. After they broke up, Alex had a hard time talking to Julie. It was pretty clear the blonde still had feelings for her and she was disappointed that Alex didn't share those feelings. After a few weeks apart, they ran into each other at Target and started to talk. JJ was happy and no longer awkward, Alex was finally in a good place, they fell back into their friendship like nothing had happened and they had been good ever since. It was a good thing too because Alex missed having her to talk to. JJ was always calm and understanding and made Alex feel comfortable, having that back made things easier. Plus, JJ was going to school in California, different schools but close enough that they could get to each other if they needed.

As the day went on, Alex became more and more annoyed by customers asking stupid questions and the creepy guy constantly asking her if she needed any help even though she already told him no. Towards the end of her shift she texted her best friend, she needed time with Tobin but she didn't want Meghan to hate her even more if she pulled Tobin away from their normal routine.

 **Alex:** hey what are you doing tonight? I need your help.-

 **Morgan:** nothing, what's up-

 **Alex:** I need Tobin, but she plays soccer with Kling after work. Can you pull Kling away so I can see Tobin?-

 **Morgan:** I can try.-

 **Alex:** Please and thank you.-

After a few minutes of worrying, Morgan texted back.

 **Morgan:** We are seeing a movie, Tobs is all yours.-

 **Alex:** I love you.-

 **Morgan:** I love me too.-

Alex switched over to her on going conversation with Tobin.

 **Alex:** Hey are you busy tonight?-

 **Tobin:** I was, but Kling bailed to watch a movie with Morgan, which is a good thing I guess.

 **Alex:** Are you jealous

 **Tobin:** Of Kling? Yes, Moe is awesome. How come she didn't want to watch a movie with me?

 **Alex:** Because she likes Kling more.

 **Tobin:** Now I'm sad.- 

**Alex:** Would hanging out with me help?-

 **Tobin:** Yeah I guess.-

 **Alex:** Haha. I guess I'll see you after work.-

Alex finished her day not paying attention to a single thing, her mind was on Tobin and being able to kiss her. She rushed out the door as soon as she could and drove over to the parking lot just outside the strip of stores The Pitch was on. She wasn't waiting for long, Tobin and Meghan appeared from around the corner, they were following a tall blonde like two little puppies.

Alex watched as the blonde spoke to them, she had never seen Tobin so interested in what someone had to say, nodded her head along with every word. This must have been Ashlyn, no wonder Tobin was listening so intently, she was a pro soccer player, Alex almost wanted to go over there and ask her own questions, but it was Meghan and Tobin’s thing and Alex didn't want to intrude.

After they were done talking, the blonde left and the two girls came over. 

“Hey,” Alex said with a little wave. “Is that your boss?”

Tobin nodded her head. “Yeah, she lets us ask questions after work.”

“That's so cool,” Alex said trying not to sound like she wanted in on their thing even though she totally did. “How was work?”

“Decent.” Tobin shrugged. “We had to work with the nights and weekends guy and he's a little strange.”

“Yeah it’s way better when Chris is on counter,” Meghan added in.

Alex swallowed the little bit of anger she had with the mention of Christens name. It wasn't Christen she was angry about, it was the fact that she had only been in their lives for a few weeks yet she seemed to be so important to them; Alex had known them for over ten years and she was still having to work to get Meghan to like her. From what she knew about Christen, she seemed like a nice person but Alex would be lying if she didn't admit to herself that she hated the fact that Tobin spoke to Christen so quickly when it took Alex ten years to get more than two words at a time. But all of that was in the past and Tobin said a lot more than two words to her now.

“Well, I'm going to go get ready,” Meghan said in a voice that had a little bit of bite to it.

“Alright, let me get my stuff from the trunk.” Tobin went over and pulled a bag from the trunk. She whispered something to Meghan and it looked like they had a mini argument before the trunk was closed and Tobin spun around to give Alex a huge smile.

“See ya later,” Meghan said with a wave and wide eyes. 

“Yeah, later,” Alex replied awkwardly.

They watched as Meghan drove off. “Still hates me huh?” Alex said.

“I don't know what her issue is.” Tobin said honestly.

Alex looked over at her girlfriend, those big brown eyes a little dark with worry. She watched as Tobin looked over at her, the confused expression she was wearing softening when their eyes met. She didn't want to wait any longer, she lunged forward and kissed her. Tobin was caught off guard but Alex kind of loved that, she loved feeling when Tobin relaxed into their kisses, when her lips would part just a little as she timidly tried to make it more. Alex could have kissed her for hours, every bad part of her day melting the second their lips touched, but they were in the middle of a parking lot so she pulled back just enough to where their noses where still touching.

“Hi,” Alex whispered.

“Hi back.” Tobin laughed a bit. “So what do you want to do?”

Alex opened her eyes and looked down at the gym bag at Tobin's feet. “Footy.”

Tobin gave her a huge smile. “Footy.”

They kissed again, this one lasting a few seconds. Tobin was an amazing kisser, especially since she had never done it before. She always tastes like spearmint gum with a hint of coffee, a taste that Alex was growing to know as Tobin, something she was growing to love.

Alex pulled herself away long enough for them to get in the car, where she kissed her again, not having enough of her. Eventually, they made it to the park, where they took turns changing into shorts and t-shirts in the back of Alex's car. Alex had to stop herself from turning around and looking in the car when it was Tobin's turn to change. She told herself that they were taking it slow and getting a look at her half naked girlfriend would only make her want to push their time table up and she didn't want to rush Tobin, so she kept her back turned.

When they got on the field, Tobin was kicking the ball around, juggling with her feet the way Alex had seen her do so many times before. No matter how many times she got a chance to witness Tobin in her element, it always amazed her. The way she looked so happy and carefree, like there was nothing else in the world whenever she stepped on the field. Alex had always wanted that attitude towards soccer. She loved the game, it was the one thing in the world that was always there for her and always would be, but still she fought with the ball at times, hated the net when it avoided her, and refused to run when it failed to soothe her. Like a lot of things in Alex’s life, soccer was complicated, yet she never gave up on it. Watching Tobin kick the ball in the air and catch it on her foot confirmed what Alex already knew, soccer was amazing and would make her happy if she let it.

“Let’s do this,” Alex said kicking the ball off Tobin’s foot. 

She took off running. The sun was still up, but the clouds were hiding it from making the field too hot. The wind was blowing, that distinctive smell was in the air, the one that was only in New Jersey. Alex felt the ball against her foot, it had been a few weeks since she was on a field, kicking the ball heading for a real goal. She spent some time in the back yard taking corners and doing some drills, but she didn’t have the space to run, and that’s what she was really good at, running with only the ball in front of her and someone behind her trying to catch her, and who better than the girl she was falling for.

Alex looked back, Tobin was close enough to touch her. The midfielder had gotten faster over the years, it was nothing like that first day when Alex left her in the dust on the field, now Tobin was quick and focused. Alex kicked it up a gear, making her legs work harder putting her speed into overdrive. She was down at the goal when she launched the ball into the back of the net. She turned around to see Tobin bent over with her hands on her knees, she looked up and gave her a smile.

“You’re fast,” Tobin breathed out.

Alex put her hands on her hips. “I have to be, I’m a forward.” 

She stepped forward and pulled Tobin up so she was standing straight then leaned in and captured her lips. Tobin was breathing hard, but when their lips touched she took a sharp breath in then wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist, pulling her in close. Alex put her arms around Tobin’s neck and let the shy girl, who was starting to gain more confidence, pull her in and take control of the kiss. Alex didn’t want it to stop, kissing Tobin was like scoring the game winning goal in the last second of a championship game and sitting down with hot coco and a warm blanket watching the first snow fall, it was exhilarating and completely calming all at once. Kissing Tobin was like nothing she had ever known and she wanted to do it for the rest of her life. 

When they finally broke apart, Alex looked over, those brown eyes now dark, a smile coming on her face. She wanted more, she wanted to kiss her longer, deeper, something that took everything they had and made it more, but Tobin’s hands were still a little timidly placed on her waist and that rang the bell in Alex’s head telling her to slow down, to stop, Tobin was not ready for more. 

With another quick kiss, Alex pushed off her girlfriend and jogged over to the net and got the soccer ball. She walked over to Tobin, kicking the ball with her. “Well… Let’s go slow poke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this looking for some Preath Action go back a chapter homie that's where the goods are!!


	17. Alone Time (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Christen are officially together. Tobin starts to think about some very serious things. They finally steal a moment together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First if you are looking for some Talex stuff, that's in the next chapter.
> 
> Second excuse my lateness. I had a very busy July, my job is insane. If I told you all the details of my job you would understand, but you'd also suddenly find me extremely attractive and be distracted from the story and I can't have that.
> 
> Big shoutout to my beta, she had a long July too, but she hung in there and got it done. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

Tobin and Meghan stood outside the store, looking at the giant glass window, still dark with the lights off. Tobin took a long drink from her iced coffee shaking it a little to let the rest of the drink settle to the bottom. They had been here almost every single day for about a month and yet it didn’t seem better. Easier maybe, more fun, yeah sure, but still they were about to spend the next few hours of their lives working instead of hanging out, having fun, and playing soccer. The only great thing about it was now Tobin could look forward to two hours from now, when Christen would arrive at work, and she would get to see her new girlfriend.  
   
“So how was last night?” Meghan asked looking over to her friend.  
   
Tobin tried to act casual. “It was pretty cool. We played soccer and talked.”  
   
“And made out,” Meghan laughed.  
   
Throwing her cup away, Tobin shrugged and gave a little grin, “Maybe.” She headed over to the shop door and opened it up  
   
“Dude, I was totally joking,” the shorter girl ran after her friend. She went in the door quickly locking it behind her, “Tobin, are you serious, did you make out with Christen?”  
   
“Well, she is my girlfriend.” She shrugged again like it was no big deal even though it was the biggest deal, like ever. She pushed through the stock room door and made her way inside.  
   
“So you two are like officially official?” Meghan stood behind her bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.  
   
Tobin pushed the buttons on the machine they clocked in on and shrugged for the third time. “I mean she asked and I said yeah, so yeah I guess we are official.”  
   
“She asked you?” Meghan was shocked.  
   
Tobin laughed. “Do you think I would be able to ask her? I was barely able to ask her out, and we all know how that went.”  
   
“True,” Meghan quickly clocked in. “So what’s the deal now, am I going to be left floating in the water while you two make out all day?”  
   
“No,” Tobin let out a loud laugh. “I don’t think Ashlyn would be cool if we made out all day?”  
   
“Woah, who said I wouldn’t be cool?” Ashlyn came out of the office. “And who are you making out with?”  
   
“Chris,” Meghan shouted.  
   
Tobin shot her friend an intense look, “Dude.”  
   
Ashlyn crossed her arms, her face got extremely serious. “Tobin, you do know there is a no dating policy here right? You can’t date a coworker, it distracts from your work.”  
   
Suddenly Tobin could feel her heart stop in her chest, “Uh, I… I uh, didn’t know… I thought…”  
   
“I’m only kidding,” Ashlyn started to crack up.  
   
Tobin let out a huge breath, “Not cool.”  
   
“That was hilarious,” Meghan was leaning against the wall, laughing. “She got you so hard with that one.”  
   
The older woman walked over and put her hand on the panicking girl’s shoulder. “I’m happy you two finally figured everything out. Just keep it cool and everything is fine.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head, “I can do that.”  
   
Meghan was still laughing about the joke when Tobin headed over to grab the clipboard. Tobin gave her best friend a quick shove before they both got down to work. They had been working long enough to not need any direction from Ashlyn in the mornings, they came in and got straight to work.  
   
Tobin got tired of being hounded about Christen so she asked Meghan about her time with Morgan, and that started the hyperactive girl on a long dialogue about how great Morgan was and how Meghan was going to find a way to get her to agree to go out with her. Tobin was happy to listen, she enjoyed listening more than she enjoyed talking, though talking about Christen was a lot more fun than talking about anything else.  
   
Before they knew it Ashlyn was headed out to open the main door and let Christen inside. Tobin could feel her heart starting to beat faster. She had seen Christen a million times, but this was different, now she was seeing her girlfriend, not just a coworker she thought was pretty. Now Christen was going to walk through the door and they were going to look at each other and everything was going to be different, good different, but still a little scary. But a few minutes had passed and Christen was coming through the door. Tobin went over to look through the window.  
   
Outside, Ashlyn was talking to Christen. Tobin watched as they smiled at each other, Christen nodding her head at whatever the blonde was saying to her. Then she laughed, her eyes closing a little the way they did when she thought something was funny. Tobin found herself mesmerized by the smile on Christen’s face, by the way her head tilted back and Tobin could see the length of her neck. She was focused on the light brown of her skin and the dark waves of her hair. She was so undeniably beautiful and Tobin couldn’t help but smile at the fact that the girl she was practically drooling over was all hers.  
   
Tobin was almost caught off guard when the two women started to walk towards the door. She didn’t want to be caught spying, so she quickly made her way back to the shoe rack. Christen walked in still laughing at something Ashlyn was saying to her. Christen looked over to Tobin and gave her a little wave before she followed the taller woman over to clock in. Tobin peeked around the shoe rack to see Ashlyn say something else to her and Christen nodded her head and gave her a quick answer before Ashlyn disappeared into the office.  
   
 “Hey Kling,” Christen said happily.  
   
Meghan turned around with a huge smile on her face, “Hey, what’s up?”  
   
“Not much,” She stopped walking and focused on Meghan, “You hung out with Morgan last night, right?”  
   
“Yeah, we went to the movies.”  
   
“And?” Christen laughed.  
   
She shrugged, “And, it was cool. We just hung out and talked a little.”  
   
Christen tilted her head, her eyebrows raised, “And?”  
   
Tobin was watching the exchange, Christen hadn’t even acknowledged her in the corner, besides the quick wave when she got in the room, but nothing else, not a quick look or a smile or anything and Tobin wasn’t even standing ten feet away from her. Her mind quickly went through if maybe she did something wrong. Last night, after they said goodbye, Tobin texted Christen for a few minutes, but she stopped when Christen told her she was going to eat dinner with her mom. After they texted for a little longer until Tobin’s eyes started to get heavy and it was impossible to stare into the intense light of her phone screen. But she said good night properly, and everything seemed fine.  
   
“And that’s it,” Meghan said casually. “We haven’t really talked about anything like serious yet. I’m waiting, I’ll talk to her about stuff after a few more dates.”  
   
Christen shook her head and grinned. “Okay, I’ll talk to you about it later.” She finally turned and smiled at Tobin. “Hey, you.”  
   
Any concern Tobin had melted away as soon as her eyes met up with the deep green of her girlfriend’s. “Hey.”  
   
Christen went up and grabbed her hand, pulling her through the stock room doors and out to the main floor. Before Tobin had a chance to think, Christen had her arms wrapped around her neck and was pulling her in for a kiss. Tobin felt a little panicked due to the fact that they were at work, but she couldn’t worry too much when Christens lips were on hers She quickly melted into the kiss.  
   
“Hello,” Christen said softly as the kiss ended.  
   
Tobin took a deep breath in, “Hey… I thought you were upset with me.”  
   
She titled her head, her dark hair falling on her shoulder. “Why would you think that?”  
   
“I don’t know,” Tobin responded under her breath. “Because you were talking to Kling and you didn’t say hi.”  
   
“Oh babe,” she gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I was trying to be cool.”  
   
Tobin lowered her head, a little embarrassed by her naivety, “Right, playing it cool.”  
   
“I can never be mad at you,” she leaned in quickly and kissed her cheek. “You’re way too cute.”  
   
Suddenly Tobin could feel her heart in her chest, it was pounding hard, begging to come out. There was no fighting it, her heart belonged to Christen. Not that she would fight it if she could. Tobin's hands became a little steadier on her girlfriends hips, pulling her in just enough for the girl in her arms to realize what she wanted. Without hesitation, Tobin leaned in and kissed her, this time putting everything she had in it.  
   
Christen leaned in and let her weight fall partially onto Tobin. This was the first time they shared a kiss this heavy, it was like Tobin was waking up in the moment, and Christen was feeling it all transferred through her incredibly soft lips. It was too bad they were at work, and that her timid girlfriend was still shy despite the way she was kissing Christen in this moment. Being the responsible one, Christen reluctantly put a stop to the kiss.  
   
“You go back to your stock room,” she said with a huge smile. “I don’t want to see you until after work.”  
   
Shocked, those brown eyes got wide. “After work? Why?”  
   
“Because you’re a distraction,” Christen smiled.  
   
“But what about lunch?” Tobin pouted a bit, her bottom lip poking out.  
   
As much as Christen was tempted in that moment to kiss her again, she instead took a step back and gave her girlfriend a stern look. “I eat lunch with Kling, you know that. You don’t get special treatment just because you’re an amazing kisser. Now go back there and work, I have stuff to do.”  
   
Tobin wanted to protest but she couldn’t think of anything to say, not when Christen was walking away from her and Tobin was trying desperately not to stare (trying and failing). She had never been called an amazing kisser, well she had never kissed anyone before. She was nervous the first time, when she kissed Alex it was nice, but she never got confirmation on the quality, but Christen had said amazing which was a shocker. Tobin thought maybe she was okay, she spent a good amount of time thinking about technique, she even thought about looking up how to do it properly, but backed out because she didn’t want her parents seeing her browsing history and asking questions. So she settled for being okay, maybe even pretty good, but she never thought she was amazing. She would take it though, she wanted to be an amazing kisser, she wanted to be an amazing girlfriend, she just wanted to be amazing for Christen.  
   
As she pushed through the stock room door a little sad that Christen didn’t turn around, but happy that she didn’t because Tobin had a huge dorky grin plastered on her face. She looked over to her best friend who took notice of the happy look and, of course, laughed at her.  
   
“You two make out?” Meghan teased.  
   
“No,” Tobin said quickly, trying to control her smile. “We just said hello.”  
   
“Yeah, with your mouths,” she laughed.  
   
Tobin scoffed. “That’s usually what you say hello with, loser.”  
   
“Oh you know what I mean.”  
   
   
The rest of the morning was uneventful. Meghan went out to set up the nets and get everything ready, forcing Tobin to stay in the stock room where Christen had told her to stay. That didn’t stop Tobin from looking out the window to watch Christen worked. She liked the way she read the items on the list, mouthing words and checking off each thing on the list with a smile. The sun peaked through the window and lit up the front counter, but in Tobin’s mind it was only lighting up the beautiful girl who was standing by it. Several times Tobin had to stop herself from going out there and putting her arms around her girlfriend and kissing her again. That’s all she really wanted to do, she just wanted to feel those soft lips on hers again. Her head was filled with it, among other things.  
   
Tobin wasn’t a fantasizer, she never sat around day dreaming about a girl. Even with all the time she spent having a huge crush on Alex, she never really fantasized about her. She used to think about holding her hand, hanging out with her, taking her on a date, even kissing her, but nothing past that and nothing that literally took her out of what she was physically doing in the moment; but with Christen is was different. Maybe it was because she knew what it felt like to hold her hand, to kiss her, to have her all wrapped up and close. Maybe it was because she knew that Christen had a light scent of honey and lavender and something else that mixed in a way that made Tobin’s head spin. Maybe it was because, for the first time, if she wanted to, she could take her thoughts and put them into action. She could kiss her. She could hold her. She could do more. Did she want to do more?  
   
   
Before she knew it the middle of the day was here and it was time to take her lunch break. Tobin clocked out and headed out the stock room. Christen was busying herself with organizing the new merchandise, but there were no customers, so Tobin went up to her and gave a dorky smile.  
   
“Are you sure you don’t want to have lunch with me? I’m sure Ashlyn will let you go early,” she pleaded, her eyes wide.  
   
Christen shook her head. “Nope, I refuse to give into your pleas.” A smile came across her face, no matter how hard to tried to be serious. “You can’t suck me in with those eyes.”  
   
Tobin knew she was begging a little but she didn’t realize she was giving her the eyes. Now that she knew, she tried harder, giving her her best puppy dog eyes. “But I want to spend some time with you.”  
   
“I can’t believe you are willing to steal me away from your best friend,” Christen joked.  
   
She took a step forward, now Tobin was close enough to feel the heat from her girlfriends body. “I’m willing to steal you away from anyone if it means I get you all to myself.” _Damn that was smooth._  
   
Christen lowered her head, her cheeks now feeling hotter than before. “Maybe tomorrow,” she said in a low tone. She lifted her head and took a quick look around before leaning in and planting a quick kiss on Tobin’s lips. “Now, get out of here.”  
   
“Fine,” Tobin pouted. “But I’m holding you to that.” She turned around and headed for the door, but not before looking over her shoulder once to see Christen smiling back at her.  
   
Tobin walked out of the shop with her head held high. Where the hell all that velvety smooth talk came from was beyond her. She wasn’t smooth, she wasn’t cool, she had no idea how to flirt, but somehow she was doing it and she was doing it well. Maybe it was because she already knew Christen liked her, or maybe it was because she felt eighty billion times cooler now that she had a girlfriend, and not just a girlfriend, but a smoking hot girlfriend who was dorky and smart and funny and completely cool. Maybe she was smooth, she just needed to find her confidence, and despite how nervous she was about almost everything, she felt confident when she was with Christen Well, most of the time.  
   
She ended up in a small shop a few doors down from The Pitch. She sat down after ordering her food and opened up facebook so she could scroll through her own feed, but mainly so she could look at pictures of Christen. As she clicked on her page, it occurred to her that they had not made themselves facebook official yet. Was she supposed to wait for Christen to initiate it, or could she do it herself? They were together, officially, so why couldn’t she put it on facebook. She clicked the button to request a relationship, making sure to change her settings so no one in her family could see. As she waited on her food for a few minutes, a notification came through. Christen had accepted her request, and it was as simple as that, they were facebook official.  
   
As Tobin chowed down on her sandwich, her thumb still scooting across her phone screen, her notifications started to blow up. People were liking her new relationship status, and people were commenting, people she didn’t even know.  
   
 **Allie Long:** Finally!! You two are so cute.  
 **Channing Press:** Damn Chrissy, she is hot!!  
 **Matt Hedges:** Looks like I am going to have to fight for your hand in marriage.  
 **Kelley O’Hara:** happy for you.  
   
Tobin scrolled through with a smile, it seemed like everyone was excited for them, even her new friends.  
   
**Lindsey Horan:** I literally scream for joy when I saw this.  
 **Sam Mewis:** I KNEW IT!!  
 **Hope Solo:** I am so happy for you two.  
 **Alex Morgan:** Treat her right Christen Press. She’s a good one!  
   
For the rest of her lunch break, Tobin had a smile plastered on her face. She never thought people would be this excited about her relationship, but it felt good knowing she had support from her new friends.  
   
As she walked into the store, Christen was helping a customer with cleats. Tobin looked over at her and watched her talk, Christen spotted her and gave a quick smile and slight head nod, letting Tobin know she saw her and she was happy. With that Tobin walked happily to the stock room, but Jozy stopped her before she got to the door.  
   
“You and Chris, huh?” Nodding a bit as he smiled.  
   
Tobin shrugged, “Yeah.”  
   
He stared for a second, making Tobin think maybe he had something bad to say, “I’m so happy you two finally figured it all out. If I had to hear her talk about how “incredibly cute” you are one more time, my head would explode.”  
   
She let out a loud laugh. “Well, I’m glad I can bring you some peace.”  
   
Jozy put his giant hand on her shoulder. “Just be good to her Tobs. Chris is an amazing person. I know you and I are friends and all, but I was friends with her first and we are close, she’s like my little sister, and as her defacto big brother, I have to warn you against ever hurting her. If you do, there will be some bad shit happening; beatings and all that.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head, as silly as the conversation might have been, she could tell Jozy was serious with his words. “You don’t have to worry.” She looked over at Christen and smiled, “I could never hurt her.”  
   
He picked his hand up then slapped his hand down on her shoulder. “Good stuff.”  
   
They exchanged knowing looks for another second before Tobin headed into the stock room. She clocked in, then leaned against the shelf Meghan was working at.  
   
“So Jozy just threaten to beat me up if I hurt Christen,” Tobin said with a smile.  
   
“Yeah?” Meghan chuckled. “You know I’ll help him.”  
   
“You’re my best friend,” Tobin scoffed.  
   
Meghan chuckled, “True, so the same goes for Chris if she hurts you. Basically neither of you are ever allowed to hurt the other, or there will be a mob coming after one of you.”  
   
Tobin shrugged. “Fair enough.”  
   
 A few minutes later, the door opened and Tobin was happy to see the girl with wavy brown hair coming in with her huge, signature smile. 

“Lunch time,” Christen said happily.

Meghan pepped up, “I am starving, we are totally getting pizza.”

Tobin watched as they clocked out and headed towards the door. She was about to be a little upset, but before she could formulate a full thought Christen jogged back and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

 

The two girls ended up in the local pizza shop right around the corner. They ordered a few slices and sat down in the booth.

“So?” Meghan asked as they sat down.

Christen had her hands under the table, she played with her fingers a bit. She knew what her friend was asking, but for some reason she was a little nervous to give an answer, so she settled for, “So?”

Meghan raised her eyebrows, neither of them had ever been shy about talking about Tobin. “How is it, you know dating the Tobster?”

“Is that what we are calling her now?” She laughed a little, Meghan's joking nature easing the situation. “I don’t know, it’s great, it's awesome.” She lowered her head trying to hide her smile, but there was not helping it. “It’s pretty freaking great.”

“Yeah it is freaking great.” Meghan laughed. “I’m just glad you guys finally got it together.”

“Everyone keeps saying finally like it took years for us to get together. It’s only been a few weeks you know.”

“Yeah a few weeks for Tobin, but it’s been a few months for you.”

Christen put her finger to her lips, “Shh, she doesn’t know that.”

“What?” Meghan leaned forward and started to whisper, even though no one around them cared about what they were saying. “You didn’t tell her about your big fat crush on her?”

Shifting in her seat a bit, she shook her head, “No, why would I do that? We just got together, I don’t want to freak her out. I mean what am I supposed to say, ‘Hey I've liked you for months, I'm so happy you like me back now.’”

Meghan nodded, “Yeah, maybe not phrase it like that, but still you should tell her. It’s Tobin, she’ll think its cute, trust me.”

“Maybe in a few weeks. I just want to enjoy being with her for now.” She folded the paper napkin on the table a few times. “I know it won’t freak her out or anything, but I just don’t want to come off weird, or like I stalked her or something.”

“Fine, fine, fine, but you owe me for keeping my mouth shut.” Meghan sat up in her chair. “You have to help me with Morgan.”

“Okay, give me the details.”

They sat together talking through Meghan's situation, which was essentially not even a situation in Christen’s mind, but she did enjoy talking it all through and dodging any talk about telling Tobin how crazy she was about her. 

It wasn’t that Christen thought Tobin would think she was a crazy person or anything like that, it was just the situation as a whole. This was the first time Christen had ever dated someone like Tobin. Every person she dated, Kelley and the two boys who she had zero interest in, they were all confident cocky types, they asked her out, they planned everything. With Kelley, she had been her friend first and the romantic feelings kind of snuck up on her. With the two guys before Kelley, she didn't really like them, she only dated them because it was the cool thing to do. Kelley was the first person she had real feelings for, and that ended in a ball of flames. But Kelley was confident, she was outgoing and outrageous, full of energy, she was surprising and kept Christens head spinning the entire time; Tobin was different. 

The girl that she was head of heels for was not cocky and only had small moments of confidence, and that was okay. Tobin was sweet and easy going, and made every moment special in some way, even when she didn’t notice. Christen didn’t need to worry about Tobin running around a mountain for two days with zero way to contact her, Tobin was reliable. The only thing that gave Christen any kind of pause with her new girlfriend was how new she was to all of this. Tobin had no experience with dating, and she was easily freaked out. Telling Tobin how much she truly liked her was not the wisest move, at least not yet. 

The two girls finished their lunch and headed back to the store. Tobin was working up front, covering for Christen with a customer. They made eye contact really fast and shared a smile before going their separate ways in the store. 

The rest of the day Tobin spent in the stock room, letting Meghan take all the call outs. Christen said she was a distraction, and, if Tobin was honest with herself, the girl at the front counter was a distraction to her as well. She spent a lot of her day walking past the door just to see Christen working. Her mind was filled with Christen, filled with the thought of kissing her again, of holding her again. Tobin barely got finished with her work when Ashlyn was calling out for them to clock out and go home. 

As they headed out the door Tobin went over to see Christen, who was shagging the practice balls stuck behind the nets after a few kids came in to take practice shots. 

“Hey, so do you want to hang out with us today?” Tobin asked. 

Christen looked up at her. “I do, but I can’t. I have to go somewhere with my family tonight. My dad and uncle scored this big client or something like that at work, so they are taking us all out for dinner. I just got the text like an hour ago. I’m sorry babe.”

Her heart sunk a little at the news, but she couldn’t be that sad, not when Christen was calling her babe. “It’s okay, I get it.”

She looked around quickly making sure no one was looking at them in the back corner, before she leaned in and gave her a kiss. “I wish I was hanging out with you. Trust me, I protested.”

“As long as you fought hard,” Tobin joked.

“Well I didn’t fight that hard, they are taking us to that fancy Italian place.” Christen shrugged. 

Tobin laughed. “In that case, it’s not okay and I demand you make it up to me.”

“Fine, it’s the least I can do,” she responded, leaning in and kissing her again, this time making it last a little longer. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” Tobin said with a goofy smile. “Text me when you can.”

 

Tobin and Meghan left the store and headed for Tobin’s house. Normally they would stay behind and wait for Ashlyn so they could ask her questions, but their boss seemed extra annoyed with someone on the phone she had been talking to all day, so they decided to give her the day off from big sister soccer duty. 

“So are you and Chris hanging out when she gets off work?” Meghan asked as they turned down the main street of the town. 

Tobin shook her head. “No, she is going to dinner with her family.”

“Oh no, you guys don’t get to make out all night,” Meghan joked.

“We didn’t make out.” She gave her a quick punch in the shoulder. “We just kissed, it wasn’t a big deal.”

Meghan laughed. “Yeah but you want to make out, like bad.”

“How do you know what I want?”

“You have a girlfriend, for like the first time ever. Are you seriously going to tell me your not thinking about all that stuff?”

Tobin thought for a second, “I mean I am, but I don’t know. I’ve never done anything like that. I have no idea if I’m ready for… that.”

“What do you mean?” Meghan asked confused by the route their conversation was taking. 

With a shrug of her shoulders, Tobin lowered her head and stared down at the carpet on the car floor. “I’m not sure if I'm ready to have sex.”

“Dude,” Meghan said, exaggerating the ‘u’ as much as possible. “I was totally talking about just making out. Are you thinking about having sex with Chris?”

“I don’t know,” Tobin shouted, now more uncomfortable than she was before. “I mean, I’m eighteen, everyone we know has done it already. I know Chris has done it. I don’t know.”

Meghan got quiet, her normal instinct to make light of the situation turned off and her seriousness taking over. “You know you don’t have to do anything just because everyone else has, right?”

“Yeah I know,” she responded in a small voice. 

“I just mean, Chris wouldn’t pressure you, she’s not that type of person.”

“I know.”

Meghan turned into the parking lot. She took her seatbelt off and turned her body to her friend who still had her head down. “If you're not ready, then just put it out of your mind. Don’t worry about that stuff.”

“How do you know when you’re ready?” She looked up at her friend for the first time in a few minutes. 

“You think I know?” She let out a laugh. “I can barely get the girl I like to go on a date with me. I have no idea when you know.” There was a silence that hung in the air, she could tell Tobin was starting to freak herself out. “I guess you just know. I guess when it feels right then it’ll be right.”

“You’re probably right.” Tobin gave her a half smile, hoping to get out of the conversation as fast as possible. “I’m not going to worry about it right now. We aren’t there.”

Meghan let out a sigh of relief. “Cool, well if you ever want to talk about all that stuff uh… Go to Perry.”

“Yeah, I’ll remember that.”

They both started to laugh, both of them happy to get out of the conversation. They talked about almost everything growing up, they even had the typical ‘how do you kiss’ talk and practiced on their hands. They talked about their crushes, more so now than when they were growing up. They had late night talks about who they thought was hot and who they would date if they could, but they never took a turn into the topic of sex. Both of them just assumed the other would never want to talk about it, neither of them having any experience with the whole thing. They were best friends, and they could talk about anything, but for some reason the topic always passed by without being discussed. Since neither of them ever thought they'd have girlfriends, at least not until they were in their twenties, they always kept that topic out of any conversation they had. But now, maybe it was on the table, Tobin had Christen and Meghan almost had Morgan. Maybe they should talk, but not today, not yet.

They spent the rest of the day playing soccer as usual, neither of them brought up the topic again, but that didn’t stop it from floating around in Tobin’s head. 

Tobin had never confirmed that Christen had in fact had sex before, but she was pretty sure. She had over heard her talking to Hope one time when they were on the field, they were joking around about something and Hope told Christen she needed to get laid, and Christen agreed in no uncertain terms. Christen was kind and thoughtful and she would never force Tobin to do anything she wasn’t ready for, but still, the question that was digging away at her brain was; was she ready to have sex?

The Heath family was a religious family, therefore the sex talk was pretty straight forward and awkward and uncomfortable, and most of all heterosexual. Even the sex education class Tobin was forced to sit through in the eighth grade was all stuff about condoms and teen pregnancy, things that did not apply to her at all. So she knew how to put a condom on a banana, and about five different types of birth control, but no one ever told her about having sex as two women. 

Of course things were different, and she knew that, neither she nor Christen had the thing the banana stood in for. Neither of them needed birth control, it would be a miracle if one of them got pregnant, so what was the deal with lesbian sex? What was being ‘careful’ as most people worded it. The only thing close to sex she had ever seen was a half an episode of the L Word, before she figured out that it was way too much for her to watch at the time. Even if she did watch it now it still wouldn’t really help with where things go and why, those shows never show the technical part of it, plus that was a lot of episodes to get through in a short amount of time. She thought about looking it up, maybe just typing in the basics and getting some quick answers, but even that seemed like too much. For now she would be flying blind. Maybe she wasn't ready at all.

—

The next morning went the same as the first. Tobin and Meghan showed up to work and started on inventory. A few hours later Christen was there, and again she pulled Tobin away so they could kiss for a few minutes before Christen banished her back to the stock room. Tobin ate lunch by herself, her mind still going over the sex question, but her fingers never daring to type anything into her phone’s google. Christen and Meghan had lunch, both of them giggling as the came back to clock in, and again Tobin couldn’t take her eyes off her girlfriend. 

The more Christen touched her arm lightly, the more she kissed her cheek, the more they stole small kisses when no one was looking, the more Tobin thought that maybe she was ready for more, maybe not sex, but more than just that. 

 

“So, I think you owe me some quality time.” Tobin said after she had clocked out for the day and met Christen up front. 

Christen frowned. “I do, and I wish I could, but Tyler needs me today babe. I know I am the worst girlfriend, its the second day I am bailing on you.”

“It’s okay.” Tobin said in a sad voice. “If your sister needs you.”

“She’s having all this drama with this stupid boy she’s dating. Normally this would be Channing's territory, but I’m the only sister here, so it falls on me.” 

Tobin smiled, trying to make sure Christen knew she was not upset about the situation. “Don’t worry, I would totally bail on you if Perry or Katie needed me.”

“What about Jeff?”

“Nah, he can figure it out on his own,” Tobin laughed, waving her hand.

Christen chuckled as she reached out and grabbed her hand, “I am totally telling him you said that.” She leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for being so understanding. You're a way better girlfriend than me. I promise I will make it up to you.”

“I am going to hold you to it,” she said with a little laugh. “You know officially owe me big.”

“Oh yeah? Well how about this.” She grabbed her other hand and closed the gap between them. “After the game tomorrow, you and me, all alone, whatever you want to do.”

Tobin swallowed hard, her thoughts going blank. “Uh, okay.” She looked into the dark green eyes of her girlfriend, now even darker than they had ever been. “Sounds uh… Sounds good.”

Christen gave her a knowing grin, noticing the effect she had on her girlfriend. She leaned in, kissing her one more time. “Get out of here, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tobin wanted to protest; how could she leave now? Christen didn’t let her, she pushed? right past those big brown eyes, and forced Tobin out of the store. So the question was raised again, was she ready to have sex? Only now Tobin was a lot closer to a positive answer. 

After they practice for a while, Meghan forcing Tobin to charge the goal for over an hour so she could work on tackles, Meghan finally got a call from her dad and headed home. 

Tobin took a quick shower, went downstairs to pile food high on a plate and went up to her room. As she sat down at her computer, typing in a NWSL game into YouTube so she could watch some highlights, she found herself thinking more about Christen, and her comment in the store. She tried to put it out of her mind, but there was no stopping the idea, but she needed more information. Tobin figured YouTube was safe enough, she could maybe type something in there and everything would be okay. Besides she just needed to know a few things, the mechanics of it all, and her parents never actually checked her browsing history. So she clicked in the search bar and typed: lesbian sex.

Of course the first things to come up were clips of sex scenes from movies, but that’s not what she needed, so she kept scrolling until she found a video, “How to Have Lesbian Sex: Lesbian Sex 101” This was exactly what she was looking for, so she clicked it.

The video was ten minutes and it was pretty funny and not at all what she thought it was going to be, still she was glad she had her headphones in for all of it. Most of the stuff she kind of knew, at least had a basic idea, and some of it was completely new, but all in all she felt a little better about the whole idea. Sex was still a little confusing and still made her feel a little uncomfortable, like the way you feel when you are in a crowd by yourself and are looking for someone you know, but all in all the idea of having sex was more appealing than before. So maybe she was ready to have sex, or maybe not, who the hell knows.

—

The next day at work, time seemed to fly by. Tobin was too focused on after work, she barely paid any attention to her actual job. She wanted to get out, go play soccer then get to spend sometime with Christen, hell they could even skip the soccer portion if they really wanted to. Of course they didn’t and before she knew it, they were on the field ready to pick teams. 

 

Alex was standing tall in front of the crowd looking at everyone with a serious look on her face. She stuck her finger out and pointed at Tobin. “I pick Tobs.”

“You’re taking my midfielder?” Christen protested. 

“Hey she was my midfielder before she was yours,” Alex laughed. 

Christen nodded her head. “Fine, I see how it is. I pick Morgan.”

“You’re going to take my midfielder?”

“You take my winger, I take your center, that’s how the game is played.” Christen stood proud with her hands on her hips.

 

“Okay, okay,” Alex said nodding her head. “Meghan.” She looked over to Christen and gave a huge smile. “Good luck with your back line.” She said proud to have chosen the only true defender in the group. 

Christen shook her head. “Oh it is so on now.”

They went through the entire team, separating them and making sassy comments the entire time. Soon the game was ready to start and Alex had everyone in a huddle. 

“Okay, we have no choice, we have to stomp them,” She had on a serious face. “Tobs, I love you to death, and I know Chris is your girl, but I’m going to need you to completely dominate.”

Tobin laughed a little. “Don’t worry, business is business.”

“That’s my girl.” Alex held out her fist and waited for Tobin to knock her fist against it. “As for the rest of you, none of you have any excuse to not murder them today.”

“Hey Alex, you ready to play, or are you still strategizing?” Christen yelled across the field. 

Alex popped her head up. “Oh it is so on.”

 

The game started and everyone was playing like they had something to prove. Alex’s team was dominating possession in the beginning, getting two goals in ten minutes. Tim, the goalkeeper on Christen’s team, blaming the sun for the first goal, and his back line for the next one. Soon Christen’s team came back, Morgan showing her skills up front with Christen. The ball was fired into the back of the net, coming off a cross from Christen and Morgan sending it to goal. Within the next ten minutes the equalizer was scored by Clint sending it to the to left corner, just out of Hope’s reach. 

As the ball was kicked off Christen came flying down the field. As much as Tobin enjoyed when Christen scored, she wasn't about to lose this game. She took off towards Christen and with some fancy footwork and maybe a hard touch or two, she stripped the ball from her, and headed down the field. Alex was waiting up top, Tobin launched the ball towards the net, and Alex jumped up to head it in. Everyone ran up and hugged them both, Jozy holding Alex up in the air. 

Tobin headed down to get back into position, but before she could get to the midline, Clint nodded his head at her. “You know you’re definitely not getting laid tonight.” 

Tobin stopped in her tracks almost falling with how hard she spun around, “What?”

“After that,” Clint laughed. “You’ll be flying solo tonight.”

Confused, Tobin looked down to Christen who seemed to be having a very serious conversation with Morgan. She was saying something to her and Morgan was nodding her head. They both looked over to Tobin, but instead of the normal smile she got from Christen, her girlfriend said something else to Morgan, who then nodded and they turned back to talk.

Shit, maybe she messed up. The play wasn’t that rough, she wouldn’t even get a yellow card in a real game, there was no way Christen was upset with her. Christen was a soccer player, she knew how the game was played, sometimes things got rough, there was no way she could be upset with Tobin for that. It’s a pick up game, it didn’t matter, why would she be upset? 

Christen walked passed her, again she didn’t smile. Shit, maybe she did mess up.

The rest of the game, Tobin's head was all over the place. She got the ball stolen twice, Alex yelled at her once, and Hope actually had to talk to her about staying up on the wing. She didn’t really want to play soccer anymore, she wanted to talk to Christen, who seemed to be focused solely on winning the game, not paying any attention to Tobin. 

After another hour, the game was over and Christen’s team won, scoring the last goal after Tobin lost her footing in the back half of the field. Tobin waked slowly towards the edge of the field as the other team celebrated. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Alex came after her. 

Tobin looked over to the other team, Christen had a huge smile on her face. “Do you think Chris is mad at me?”

“No,” Alex said confused. “Why would she be?”

“That time I stole the ball and you scored.” She looked down at the grass. “Clint said I’d be flying solo tonight.”

Alex chuckled a little. “Is that what has you all torn up?”

Tobin nodded her head. 

“Fuck Clint,” Alex said, surprising Tobin with her quick words. “He was just trying to get in your head. That was a clean take away, Tobs, trust me, you wouldn’t even have gotten a yellow card for that. Chris is a soccer player, she knows how it is. Plus they won.”

“She just seemed angry afterwards,” Tobin shrugged, trying not to sound as small as she felt. 

“Well yeah, I would have been upset too.” Alex tried her best to reassure her. “Tobs, its just a game, she’s not upset with you.”

Before Tobin had a chance to question it again Christen ran up behind her and threw her arms around her neck. She kissed her cheek. “Hey babe, sorry we kicked your ass out there.” She gave her another quick kiss on the cheek. “Come on, I have to get these cleats off.”

As she was being pulled over to all the bags on the edge of the field, Tobin looked back at Alex, who gave her a quick wink and a smile. So Christen wasn't mad at all, it was all in her head. They sat down together and talked about the game as everyone came and sat down in a circle. As everyone was talking Christen continued to kiss Tobin’s cheek and whisper funny things in her ear, everything Tobin needed to relax.  
   
Soon it was time for the group to disband, everyone moved towards the parking lot and stood around still talking about the game. All Tobin could think about was finally getting to spend some alone time with her girlfriend. The last two days, only getting a few moments with each other here and there, was torture. The memory of her lips was not enough to get her through anymore, she needed to feel them again. Having the scare that Christen could possibly be upset with her only fueled her need to really kiss her again. She was ready for the night she had been waiting on for two days.  
   
Tobin had spent the better part of the last two days debating with herself on one topic, was she ready to have sex? On one hand, she was ready to be anything and do anything if it made Christen happy, she had done her research and felt as confident as she could possibly about the whole thing. On the other hand, she had never gone past making out, standing up, where people could see them, so how in the hell was she supposed to know if she was really ready for more. But the way Christen looked, standing with a little shine to her skin from the sweat, her hair pulled out of the loose ponytail and hanging wild around her face, the sky, now turning a light shade of pink, allowing the alluring green of her eyes to shine just the right way, Tobin could swear to herself that she was definitely ready for more than just making out.  
   
It was Christen that finally made the move towards Tobin. She had been talking to Lindsay, Sam and Alex about the last goal of the game, but her gaze would go back and forth from the group in front of her to the girl leaning against her car. Soon she had enough of staring at what she wanted and made some excuse to go stand with her girlfriend.  
   
“Hey, you,” Christen said, slipping her hand behind Tobin's back. She leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “You hungry?”  
   
Food was the furthest thing from her mind, the only thought Tobin really had was on Christen’s hand on the small of her back. “Yeah, I can eat.”  
   
“Let's go and get some food.” Christen moved in front of her with a quick hop. “I think I promised you some quality time together, or something like that.”  
   
“Or something like that,” Tobin laughed.   
   
Before she could get her thoughts together, Tobin had her bag in the trunk and she had said goodbye to Meghan, who made some joke and let her know she was getting a ride from Morgan. Tobin stood at the passengers side, waiting for Christen to finish a conversation Hope pulled her into. As she gripped the handle of the door, Tobin realized she was now officially anxious. She tried to breath through it, there was no point in getting anxious, they were just getting food. She was calm when they were alone, she was confident when they were alone, so there was no point in getting anxious now. But those eyes, those green-grey eyes staring at her, those eyes made her nervous.  
   
“You ready?” Christen asked with a huge smile.  
   
Her heart now beating so hard she could swear everyone in the park could hear it, Tobin gave the best cool smile she could muster. “Yeah, let's go.”  
   
They said one last blanket goodbye to the group before getting in the car and driving off.  
   
“So where to?” Christen asked as she pulled out of the parking lot.  
   
“Uh?” Of course her brain would freeze on such a simple question. Where to eat? That's easy, it's late, they are all sweaty from the game, fast food, but also healthy. “WaWa?”  
   
Christen grinned and shook her head. “You Jersey girls and WaWa.”  
   
“What, you don't like WaWa?”   
   
“I never said that,” she laughed lightly. “I'm just saying you guys are obsessed.”  
   
“That's because it's the best,” Tobin answered confidently. “Where else are you gonna get a full size sub, a beef and chicken quesadilla, a coffee milkshake, and a chocolate chip cookie, all made fresh?”  
   
“I feel like if that's your eating habits, you shouldn't go to any normal restaurant.”  
   
“Why would I?” She gave her a confused look. “I have WaWa.”  
   
Christen started to laugh, it was light and a little airy with a bit of toughness at the beginning. That was the laugh she did when she thought something was really funny. Tobin was a bit obsessed with that laugh, she liked the way she smiled when she did it, she liked the way her eyes crinkled and the way her head went back. That laugh meant Christen was happy, which meant Tobin was happy.  
   
They got to the store and ordered food, Tobin only getting a small sandwich and a coffee despite Christen encouraging her to order everything she had named in the car. They sat outside and ate, getting lost in conversation. They were the only ones out there, no eyes on them meant Tobin could relax and focus on making Christen laugh, something she was getting pretty good at. They talked until the food was gone and the lights for the parking lot came on. Soon they both moved awkwardly toward the car.  
   
“I like quality time,” Tobin said with a huge smile.  
   
Christen nodded. “Yeah, it's pretty great.” She watched as Tobin leaned against the car, her back pressed against the door, her head down looking at her hands playing with the draw string on her sweats. “So, do you want me to take you home?”  
   
That was a good question. It was late, but she didn't have to be home at any particular time. Tobin may have only been at this dating thing for a few days now, but she could tell Christen didn't really want to go home either. After all, they had promised to hang out and do whatever Tobin wanted to do, an idea that was now making her feel more and more anxious.  
   
“Uh, I mean, you don't have to,” she said in a low voice. Then quickly rushed out, “You know, if you don't want to.”  
   
Christen took a step forward closing the gap between them, forcing Tobin's hands from playing with the string to placing them on Christen’s hips. “I thought maybe we could go somewhere and talk, or something.”  
   
 _Or something?_ “Uh, yeah, that'd be cool.”  
   
“Cool.” She leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, nothing major while they were in a parking lot. “Well do you know any place we can go?”   
   
 _Me?_ “Um, no, I mean, not really. Do you?”  
   
“This is your town, babe.” Christen giggled.  
   
Tobin tried not to get too hung up on the ‘babe’ and focus on if she ever heard of anyone talking about a place to go. After a few seconds of looking confused, she remembered something. “Okay. Yeah, I know a place.”  
   
 Christen dug in her pockets and took out her keys, “Okay, you drive.”  
   
She shrugged and took the keys. Before she got a chance to move to the other side of the car, Christen pulled her in for another kiss, this one was deeper and clearly had some meaning behind it.  
   
 _Okay calm down Tobin. Maybe she just wants to talk. What are you thinking, you're going to a make out spot in the middle of the night, she doesn't just want to just talk. Okay fine, maybe you guys will just kiss. Maybe a little more. Maybe sex, maybe not, don’t think about it or you will make yourself throw up, you know how you get when you are nervous. Maybe Chris doesn't even want to have sex yet. Maybe she never has. Maybe your talking to yourself when your supposed to be talking to her._  
   
Tobin looked across the hood of the car and gave a goofy smile. She got in the car. “Jesus, why is your seat back so straight?” She laughed as she sat down.  
   
“I like to drive in the proper driving position,” Christen scoffed.  
   
“I'm going to need a spine transplant after this,” Tobin joked as she tried to adjust the seat. “It's like sitting in a torture chair. I thought Cali girls were supposed to be all laid back and cool, that's what Katy Perry said.”  
   
“Oh, whatever,” she laughed and gave her a little shove.  
   
There's was that laugh again, yeah, everything was going to be okay.  
   
They fell back into conversation as they drove. Tobin started to relax again, it was so easy when they were together. Christen was so easy to talk to, she always had something interesting to say about almost every topic. Best of all, she got Tobin's jokes, even the obscure ones that even Meghan never got. The more they talked, the less Tobin thought about where they were going and what might be happening, but when she put the car in park, it all hit her.  
   
They were parked behind an abandoned factory just outside of town. The drive was only twenty minutes so it gave both of them enough time to relax. The spot reminded Christen of the spot she shared with her ex in California, but she quickly wiped the thought from her mind and focused on the girl sitting next to her. This was the only person she wanted to be here with, she had been waiting for this for so long, she didn't want to think about anything else.  
   
Tobin played with her fingers a bit, not really sure what to do. “So, uh… What do you wanna talk about?”  
   
Christen shook her head playfully, a huge smile coming across her face. So she was going to have to make all the moves, she was prepared for that. With one quick motion, she leaned across the center console and started to kiss her girlfriend. It was soft and tender at first, Tobin's lips were hesitant in there movement, something Christen expected. To try and get her timid and nervous girlfriend to calm down, Christen leaned over further and let her hand fall on Tobin's leg. She deepened the kiss, waiting for Tobin to reciprocate, it didn't take too long for her anxious girl to give in and relax a little.

Still nervous about everything and a little stuck in her head, Tobin fought with herself to just relax and let everything happen. She put her hand on Christens hip, and tried pulling her a little closer, but as she did, Christen’s knee hit the center console.  
   
“Shit, that hurt,” Christen said as her knee slammed into the hard plastic.   
   
“Sorry,” Tobin responded, kicking herself for being clumsy, even though it wasn't her fault.  
   
Christen looked up at her, those eyes burning into Tobin. “It’s way more comfortable in the backseat.”  
   
Tobin looked back and forth between the empty back seat and the girl siting across from her. So this was how everything started. “Uh, yeah… Okay.”  
   
They both moved slowly, opening the doors and climbing out. They looked at each other over the hood of the car, the area only lit up by a few street lights. They opened the back doors slowly and got inside, closing the doors in slow motion, the click of the latch shocking them both.  
   
Christen looked over at Tobin, she could just make out all her features in the dark car. She could see the brown of her eyes and the worry in them. Tobin was more than likely freaking herself out, they way she always did, so it was up to Christen to calm her down.   
   
Slowly, the more experienced girl moved across the back seat. She reached out and grabbed the soft fabric of her girlfriend’s shirt, pulling her to the center to meet her. She didn't give Tobin a chance to think, she kissed her, slow and soft but not without want. Tobin tasted like coffee and the mint gum she had chewed on the drive over. Her lips were soft as they moved slowly against Christen’s. The shy girl was hesitant in all her moves, but she was putting passion behind the kiss.  
   
Tobin was indeed freaking out in her mind, but she was trying to play it cool. She didn't want Christen to know how fast her heart was beating. She gripped tight to the back of the seat, trying to steady her shaking hands. She thought she was doing well, but when Christen tongue slipped past her lips, she went to a whole other level of freaking out, yet she somehow remained calm out the outside. She had prepared for this. She fell back on her research, letting Christen take the lead.  
   
As the kiss got more intense, Tobin gained a little bit of confidence and put her hand on Christen’s hip. She kissed her harder, experimenting with this new way of kissing she was learning. Soon her other hand, that was gripping the seat, moved from its safe position and found its way high on Christen’s waist. This move gave her girlfriend the courage to take their position from sitting up and leaning into each other to laying down across the seat.  
   
Surprisingly, they made a smooth transition to laying down. Christen was balancing overtop with one arm on either side of Tobin's body. Her left hand was smushed between the seat back and Tobin's arm, and the other was placed flat on the seat. The stayed like that for a while, getting used to the feel of each other in this new position. Eventually Christen’s hand got tired of holding her weight up, so she let herself fall gently down and put her hand on Tobin's stomach. The ripples beneath the soft cotton shirt sent chills up Christen’s spine, she started to kiss her harder.  
   
Tobin could feel the kiss get more intense, it went from soft and controlled to hard and a little sloppy, and charged her up. She let her hands drift to Christen’s waist and pulled her down a little harder. Suddenly Christen’s hand was under her shirt, her fingers pushing into the muscles of her stomach.  
   
The idea of Tobin Heath had always been simple. She was sweet and smart and funny and the most nervous person in the world. Tobin was incredibly gorgeous with her tanned skin and big brown eyes. Her smile made Christen melt, the way she licked her lips sent shivers up Christen’s spine. Her voice was low and a little scratchy, and her laugh was just amazing. Tobin was the perfect height, just tall enough that Christen didn't have to lean over to kiss her nor did she have to stand on her tiptoes. Her hair was a warm mix of browns that matched her sun kissed skin perfectly. She was athletic, her legs were long and muscular and her arms were toned. The concept of Tobin Heath was simple. Well, it was until Christen ran her hand up her abs. Now there was another thing to add, Tobin Heath was sexy beyond reason.  
   
Christen let her hand run up Tobin's stomach, she needed to feel each one of those tiny muscles as they flexed. She let her hand drift down a little and felt the sharp v cut that lead to where she really wanted to put her hand. But the girl underneath her, no matter how sexy, was still nervous and it was evident by the way her hands were shaking.  
   
“Are you okay?” Christen asked, breaking the kiss for the first time in twenty minutes.  
   
Tobin nodded her head, her girlfriend’s hand was still on her bare skin. “Y-yeah.”  
   
Christen leaned down and gave her a little kiss. “You sure? It's okay if your not.”  
   
Tobin lowered her head. “I want to be.”  
   
“Oh, babe,” Christen sat up. pulling the nervous girl up with her and pulling her into a hug. “You are so sweet.”

They hugged for a little bit, a little pain growing inside Tobin as she realized she probably ruined their night. “I’m sorry,” she said, starting to sob into Christen’s shoulder.

“No, you don’t have to be sorry.” Christen tightened her hold on her. “You don’t ever have to be sorry.” She pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. “You don’t ever have to be sorry about anything like that Tobin, I promise, everything is okay.”

Tobin was trying to stop herself from crying. She had no idea where the tears came from, but they were fighting to run down her cheeks. “I just know you are ready. I want to be ready too.”

“Baby,” Christen pulled her into another hug. “You're ready when you're ready.” She pulled away again, this time placing her hands on Tobin’s cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss. “You don’t have to rush this. Please don’t rush this, I would never forgive myself if I made you do something you're not ready for.” She kissed her again, more tenderly, wanting to express how she felt. “I am ready when you are, not a second before.”

Tobin put her arms around her again and held her close. She wanted to cry, she wanted to apologize but that was just her lack of confidence, in her heart she believed every word Christen said, she knew there was no way Christen was upset with her, still her anxiousness drove her to say, “I’m sorry I ruined the night.”

“No, babe you didn’t ruin anything.” Christen pulled her in for another long kiss. “You could never ruin this night.”

They sat for a few minutes, just kissing lightly, Christen holding tight to Tobin, when they finally leaned in for another hug. Neither of them wanted to leave, the whole moment feeling so fragile. It was Tobin who finally said something.

“So, what now?” 

Christen looked around her car and found a sweatshirt on the floor. She picked it up and folded it. “Here, lean back.” She pushed Tobin back so she was laying against the door, the sweatshirt under her head. “Comfortable?” she asked, waiting for Tobin to nod her head. Christen scooted up and leaned on Tobin, her head placed on her chest and her arm wrapped around her. “Now, we can talk.”

Tobin put her arms around the girl laying on her chest. She lowered her head to kiss the top of Christen’s head. “What do you want to talk about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like that? Looking for some Talex action, well hit next chapter.


	18. BBQ Tuesdays (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin tries to figure out what is going with Meghan. Alex's family is having a BBQ and Tobin is invited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First if you want Preath, go back a chapter.
> 
> Second excuse my lateness. I had a very busy July, my job is insane. If I told you all the details of my job you would understand, but you'd also suddenly find me extremely attractive and be distracted from the story and I can't have that.
> 
> Big shoutout to my beta, she had a long July too, but she hung in there and got it done. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

Sunday was here and Meghan picked Tobin up from her house before work. They drove through the local coffee shop’s drive thru and picked up some food and iced coffee. The entire ride, Meghan was quiet. She would say somethings here and there, but the quiet was noticeable. As they walked over to the store, Tobin finally spoke up, questioning it.  
   
“Why are you so quiet?” Tobin asked, a little too loudly.  
   
Meghan looked over to her, lowering her eyebrows. “I’m not.”  
   
“You are,” Tobin laughed. “You’ve been quiet all morning. What’s the deal?”  
   
“There is no deal,” Meghan replied.  
   
Tobin shrugged. “Fine.” They walked in silence until they got to the front of the store. “So how was the date with Morgan last night?”  
   
Meghan shrugged. “Good, we hung out, it was fun.”  
   
“Sounds fun,” she chuckled.  
   
“It was fun,” Meghan snapped.  
   
“Alright.” She sipped the last of her drink and threw the cup away. “I had a good time with Alex last night. We played soccer and talked.”  
   
“That’s cool.” She moved towards the door. “We should get in there.”  
   
Tobin followed her friend into the store. She thought they were over all this. She thought that Meghan was going to grow up and get over whatever her problem was with Alex, but obviously not.  
   
The morning went by quickly, since they didn’t talk much. Soon enough, Christen was there to clock in. She came into the stock room and looked over to Tobin and smiled.  
   
“Hey,” Christen’s voice was light, like she was almost afraid to speak.  
   
“Hey,” Tobin replied, her tone matching Christen’s scared one. “How are you?”  
   
She shrugged, “I’m good. How are you?”  
   
“Good.” She smiled.  
   
Okay, so maybe they were not in friends mode just yet, they were in the forced politeness stage of this thing, Tobin could handle that. All she wanted was for Christen to be okay, and forcing her to talk was not the way to do it, even if Tobin could really use a friend right about now.  
   
Christen went over to Meghan, “How was your date?”  
   
“Good,” Meghan smiled. “I’ll talk to you about it at lunch.”  
   
Tobin waited for Christen to walk out the room before she turned to her best friend. “Okay, what the hell?”  
   
“What are you talking about?” She didn’t look up at her.  
   
“I know you’re mad at me, I just can’t figure out why.” Tobin set her clipboard down and walked over to her. “Just tell me why you are upset so we can figure this all out. I miss you dude.”  
   
Meghan felt a little piece of her break when she heard Tobin say she missed her, the truth was she missed her best friend too. She couldn’t hold onto all this anger she had towards Alex and take it out on Tobin, it wasn’t fair. Tobin was her best friend, and supported her in everything she did, even that time when she tried out for the school play, Tobin was right there in the audience giving her the thumbs up, she didn’t get the part- she was awful at acting, and dancing, and singing- but Tobin was there every step of the way, even took her for ice cream when she got the bad news. So she didn’t like Alex, it didn’t mean she didn’t like Tobin anymore. She loved Tobin, and she had to stop being so distant.  
   
“We’re okay,” Meghan said sincerely. “I promise.”  
   
 Tobin took the smile on her face as the truth, maybe they were okay, or at least working their way to okay. She nodded her head and smiled, then went back to work.  
   
The rest of the day went by pretty well, the two girls actually spoke. Meghan was talkative about Morgan and their date, and Tobin listened intently. They were almost back to normal, expect now they were talking about Alex and Morgan as their girlfriends, well Morgan as her almost girlfriend (possibly), instead of talking about them as just two girls they would kill to get a chance with. It was nice, sharing things, even if every time Tobin mention Alex, Meghan seemed to change the subject pretty quickly. Maybe she wasn’t fully ready to talk about Alex, at least they were talking again.  
   
At the end of the day they went home without talking to Ashlyn about soccer, she seemed irritated all day so they decided it was best to leave her alone. They got to Tobin’s house and quickly changed to practice in the backyard. After Tobin had been kicked in the shin a million times, and Meghan’d had enough of slide tackling, they went inside and ate before climbing into bed and watching highlight videos until they both fell asleep.  
 

The next day went about as good as the last. They seemed to find their rhythm again, though it was a little off. Throughout the day, Alex was texting Tobin, taking her mind off the slight weirdness she had with her best friend. It was easy to let strange comments slide, or any kind of sudden change of topic when Alex’s names was mentioned, mostly because Tobin seemed to be looking down at her phone every few minutes to read what Alex had texted her.  
   
Christen had spent the majority of the day in the front, not really coming to the back, but when she did, she was her usual nice self. It seemed like even Christen was starting to slip back into normalcy with Tobin, maybe everything was going back to the way it was.  
   
After work, Meghan had to take her little brother to a dentist appointment across town, so Tobin was left alone. She sat in her living room, watching some random soccer game that she honestly had no idea who was playing, she was paying attention to her phone.  
   
**Tobin:** What are you doing?  
   
**Alex:** Waiting to get off work. I have literally two minutes left and they won’t let me clock out. I hate this place.  
   
**Tobin:** But you are so cute in your orange polo  
   
**Alex:** Don’t you dare mention the polo.  
   
**Tobin:** But you look so good in it.  
   
**Alex:** I look pretty good out of it too.  
   
Tobin almost dropped her phone. They had never really talked about things like that before. They had texted about kissing each other a few times, and Tobin’s mind had wandered a few times whenever Alex told her she was texting from bed, but never anything like this. They had never talked about sex before, it wasn’t even a thing on Tobin’s mind, well it was, but always as something for the distant future, nothing for right now.  
   
**Alex:** You okay?  
   
Tobin realized she had been sitting for over five minutes without texting back.  
   
**Tobin:** Yeah, got distracted.  
   
**Alex:** Wow, just from me mentioning my shirt coming off? I wonder what you’ll do when I actually take it off.  
   
**Tobin:** Die… I’ll probably die.  
   
**Alex:** Lol, you are so damn cute. Take me to dinner tonight?  
   
**Tobin:** Yeah! What time?  
   
**Alex:** 7… ish.  
   
**Tobin:** I’ll be there at 7… ish.  
   
Tobin looked at the time, it was almost five, she had plenty of time to get ready. She settled into the couch and tried to pay attention to the game, but her mind was on other things.  
   
Was Alex ready to have sex? Probably. Tobin knew very little about Alex’s previous relationships, all she knew was she dated a few guys in middle school, and a girl in high school. She never really heard Alex talk about sex, not even overhearing her talk to one of the girls on the soccer team, but when sex was mentioned Alex never seemed uncomfortable, so maybe she had done it before. Tobin was almost positive she had done it before. Maybe she wanted to do it now, like after dinner. Is it safe to have sex right after you eat, or is it like swimming where you have to wait like thirty minutes? What’s the deal? Where would they have sex? In a car, that’s where all that happened for people who didn’t have their own house. But the big question was if Tobin was ready to have sex.  
   
She’d had a conversation with her mom about sex, but it was all heterosexual, all things about parts she didn’t have and would be extremely shocked if Alex had. The classes in school were the same way, none of them ever talked about two girls having sex, or two boys for that matter. Every class was about a woman and a man. What the hell were the gay kids supposed to do? Internet research, probably. Tobin took out her phone, but right when she was ready to possibly type something inside her search bar, her father came into the house.  
   
“Hey Tobs, you mind giving me a hand in the garage?” he called out.  
   
Tobin looked over the couch and gave him a quick smile. “Yeah sure.”  
   
Turns out her father was trying to fix the lawn mower. It was an old thing that he had been fixing for years, why he didn’t go out and just buy a new one was a mystery, Tobin thought he just loved fixing it. The whole machine was up on stands, so he could slide under it laying on a piece of cardboard, he needed Tobin to hold the throttle in place while he tinkered with something down below, so she stood holding the thin piece of metal, while her dad continued working.  
   
“Hey dad,” she said out of the blue, not really sure why she was talking.  
   
His voice was muffled, “Yeah Tobs?”  
   
“How old where you when you met mom?” She had a good idea, but she never really asked. Tobin had never really sat down and talked to either of her parents about their relationship, it had always been so solid, she just assumed they had been together forever and they would continue to be together.  
   
“When I was 21,” he answered quickly. “I met her in college.”  
   
Tobin nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “Did you know instantly? You know, that you loved her?”  
   
“Uh-yeah, I mean, kind of,” he said with a little laugh. “I knew I wanted to be with her, and I had a pretty good idea that I loved her, but it took a few month to confirm it.”  
   
“Cool,” she said casually. “What about mom, did she love you instantly?”  
   
He let out a loud laugh. “No, definitely not. She hated me the first time she met me. I was loud and obnoxious and trying way too hard to impress her.”  
   
“I can’t imagine you being obnoxious,” Tobin laughed.  
   
“Well I was,” he answered light heartedly. “Surprisingly, I wasn’t like this when I was younger. I was a free spirit, running around trying to prove there was some kind of profound meaning to my life. Turns out there was no meaning in my life, not yet at least.”  
   
“When did you find meaning?” she asked, now more curious about her father than she had ever been.  
   
He slide out from under the mower. “When I met your mom, and finally got her to go out with me. It was like I finally found a piece of the puzzle. Even though the picture wasn’t complete, I was much closer to completing it.”  
   
“Well, have you completed the picture?”  
   
“Not yet,” he smiled. “I got another piece when Perry was born, then another when Katie came, then one more when you were born, and another when Jeff came.”  
   
Tobin smiled. “How come it’s not complete now?”  
   
“Because there are still pieces missing. The ones you and your brother and sisters are going to provide. When they have kids, when you have kids, then when your kids have kids, all the way until I’m on my death bed surrounded by everyone I love, that’s when the picture will be complete.”  
   
She gave him a big smile and nodded. “And it all started with mom.”  
   
“Yup, it all started with your mom.” He walked over and put his wrench on the work bench. “I know dating is… Difficult for you. I’ve never bothered you about it, well because frankly you’re my last baby girl and I would be happy if you never dated, but I know it’s never really been your thing. Lucky for me, you have been too focused on soccer to think about that stuff, but when you do, when you find the right… person, you’ll understand what I am saying. And when you have a baby, you’ll understand it even more.”  
   
Tobin noticed the use of person, and it made her heart sing. It was her father’s way of telling her he was okay, without saying the words.  
   
He smiled walking over and grabbed the keys hanging out off the lawn mowers ignition, he gave them a turn and the mower fired up. “Look at that.”  
   
“We make a good team,” Tobin laughed.  
   
“Yeah we do.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “I love you Tobin, more than you can ever know.”  
   
“I love you too.” She hugged him close.  
   
   
As Tobin got ready, she thought over everything. Her dad had always been the more laid back of her two parents, the only time he ever put pressure on her was about soccer and sticking to it the one time she wanted to quit. They had never talked about relationships, her mom was always the one asking about boys and other things, her dad kept her mom off her back most of the time. In her heart, she knew her father knew about what was going on, he always gave small hints, but she never thought about what it meant. He had been telling her since practically her freshman year that he was okay with who she was, she had always been too afraid to respond. But now, with Alex, it was different. Now she wanted to tell, maybe not right now, but soon.  
   
Tobin drove to Alex’s house and she was waiting for her on the porch, her face buried in her phone. She looked up and gave Tobin a quick wave, before getting in the car and leaning over to kiss her.  
   
“I have been waiting for that all day,” Alex said with a smile.  
   
Tobin laughed. “Was it worth it?”  
   
“Oh definitely,” she said with a little raise of her eyebrow.  
   
Alex was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a button down shirt that she neglected to do the top three buttons on. Tobin looked over and her mind went straight to the text from before. If Alex wanted to have sex, this was definitely the shirt to wear to convince Tobin.  
   
As they drove, Alex started talking about her job and all the things she hated, but Tobin’s mind was focused on her shirt and the fact that she could see almost straight down it, and that Alex had super nice skin. Even when they got to the restaurant, Tobin missed the hostess asking if they wanted a booth or table. Then she missed the waiter asking what they wanted to drink because Alex was leaned a little forward and Tobin couldn’t pull her mind out of the gutter. She tried scolding herself mentally a few times and focus on what her girlfriend was saying, but the truth was Alex’s lips were really nice, and a light shade of pink from some kind of lipstick or chapstick or something, and Tobin wondered if her lips would be pink too if they made out.  
   
Luckily, Tobin was able to tune in every few minutes to respond to the questions Alex asked. Also, Alex was pretty good at holding a conversation on her own whenever she was really fired up about something, so Tobin’s participation would have been minimal even if she wasn’t obsessed with the way Alex was tracing the water droplets down her glass.  
   
After dinner, they got in the car and Alex was still talking about things at work, she had switched subjects several times during dinner but always came back to how much she hated her job. By now she had reached over and put her hand on Tobin’s leg, which caused the shy girls mind to go a little crazy. They pulled into the driveway, Tobin looked over at Alex and gave her a shy smile.  
   
“What’s going on in that head of yours, Tobin Heath?” Alex asked. “You’ve been kind of spaced out all night.”  
   
Tobin lowered her head. There was no way she could say what was really on her mind, she couldn’t discuss sex stuff with Alex. She didn’t know all of Alex’s personal business, but she did know that Alex had experience in that field. Tobin had no intention of making herself look like more of a dork than she already was, so telling Alex that she was thinking about sex, and she was indeed a virgin, was out of the question. So Tobin settled on the idea that was in the back of her head.  
   
“It’s just Meghan,” She told her with a nervous smile. “She still has some kind of issue. I just want to know what the deal is. I tried to talk to her yesterday. It’s like she’s talking to me again, but every time I mention you she just changes the subject.”  
   
Alex nodded, her famous smile fading. “I’m sorry, babe. I wish I knew how to help.”  
   
“It’ll be okay,” Tobin said with a little shrug. “I’ll figure it out eventually. She can’t stay upset forever.” They got out of the car and Tobin walked over to Alex’s side. “Did I mention that you look really pretty tonight?”  
   
“You didn’t,” Alex said, holding her head high. “I was about to be extremely upset that I was getting sent back to my house without you commenting on my looks.”  
   
She started to laugh. “Well you look great.”  
   
“Thanks, you look pretty damn good yourself.”  
   
With a little hop she was up against Tobin, pushing her into the side of the car. She started to kiss her, feeling Tobin’s hand drift up to her waist, and she started to put more into the kiss. They had been together for over a week now, and even though Alex told herself to move slow, she couldn’t help but want a little more out of her girlfriend. In her head, they had a deadline on physical contact. They were going to be on the other side of the country from each other in two months, and Alex was determined to get as much time as she could pressed up against Tobin’s strong body.  
   
Just as she was trying to deepen the kiss, contemplating slipping her tongue into Tobin’s mouth, lights were shinning on them. Alex’s dad was pulling into the driveway. Disappointed that she had to pull herself away from her girlfriend, Alex laid her forehead on Tobin’s shoulder and giggled a bit.  
   
“It’s my dad,” she laughed. “Do you want to run?”  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows. “Why would I run?”  
   
“Uh-girlfriend’s dad. Aren’t you scared?”  
   
“Nope.” Tobin held her head up. “I am surprisingly good with adults.”  
   
Alex’s dad was tall with dark hair and light eyes, just like his daughter. He walked over to them with a big smile on his face, another feature that reminded Tobin of Alex. “Hey, you must be Tobin.”  
   
Tobin smiled and stood up straight, “Yes, sir.”  
   
“It’s nice to meet you,” he said in a cheerful voice.  
   
“It’s nice to meet you too, sir,” Tobin smiled, she held eye contact the way her father taught her, but out the corner of her eye she noticed the car, “Nice car.”  
   
“Thanks,” he replied, looking over to the car. “Are you into classic cars?”  
   
“No,” Tobin said with a little laugh. “But I know a cool car when I see one.”  
   
He gave a little chuckle. “I know what you’re saying.”  
   
Alex looked over to Tobin with a little grin, apparently she was good with adults. “We are just getting back from dinner.”  
   
The tall man grinned. “How was it?”  
   
“Pretty good,” Alex said happily. “We went to that southern place where they deep fry the steaks.”  
   
“I love that place,” he said happily. His voice was low and had a bit of a rasp to it, but it was friendly and inviting. It seemed like Alex got a lot of her personality and mannerisms from her father. “Well, I’ll give you two some space. Tobin, am I going to see you at the barbecue tomorrow?”  
   
“Barbecue?” Tobin asked looking over to Alex.  
   
Alex lowered her head. “He is talking about the barbecue that I haven’t gotten to talk to you about yet.” She looked over to her dad, giving him a stern look.  
   
He held up his hands. “Woah, didn’t mean to spill the beans.” He started to laugh, it was full and hearty, very similar to Alex’s, though much deeper in pitch. “I’d better get out of here before I get in trouble.”  
   
They watched her dad walked into the house. Alex turned to Tobin, her face had fallen into a worried look.  
   
“I take it you don’t want me to come to the barbecue?” Tobin asked in a low voice.  
   
“That’s not it,” Alex said sadly. “I want you to come. My whole family will be there, even Jeri is coming home tomorrow. I just don’t want you to meet some people.”  
   
She looked over at her girlfriend, who was hiding her face. “Who don’t you want me to meet?”  
   
“My mom,” Alex said, almost too low for anyone to hear. “Remember when I said my mom took my coming out pretty well? Well, that was a lie, she did not take it well, I only said she did because I didn’t want to get into all my stupid issues with her. My mom is not a fan of me being gay, in fact she’s pretty fucking against it, and she has no filter. I just don’t want you to meet her and, you know… be discouraged from dating me.”  
   
“Alex Morgan,” Tobin said with a huge smile. “Nothing can discourage me from dating you.” She put her hand under Alex’s chin and lifted her head so those big, blue eyes were staring into hers. “I kind of like you, like more than I should admit. Nothing is going to change that.”  
   
Alex leaned in and planted a quick kiss on her lips. “You’re pretty amazing.”  
   
“So they tell me,” Tobin smiled. “Besides I understand parents not being supportive. I can handle it.”  
   
“It’s not even parents, it’s just her.” She shook her head. “My dad is awesome, he’s like my best friend. My sisters are super cool. Even Moe’s mom and dad are great about everything. They support the shit out of Moe and Jen. It’s my mom, she’s awful. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like it because it’s me. She never makes any negative comments about Moe or even JJ when she was around a lot. My mom and I have a lot of issues.”  
   
Tobin bit her bottom lip, her mind drifting to some of the issues she has with her own mom. “I’m sorry Lex, that really sucks.”  
   
Alex giggled, “I think that is the first time you have ever called me Lex.”  
   
“Well, you’ve never called me Tobin, or Tobs,” she laughed.  
   
“That’s because you’re Tobin Heath.” She smirked.  
   
Tobin smiled back. “And you’re Alex Morgan.”  
   
Alex leaned in and kissed her again. “Just remember how great I am tomorrow when you’re dealing with my mom. She is almost guaranteed to hate you, doesn’t matter how spectacular you are.”  
   
Even though it made her feel a little uneasy, Tobin nodded her head, she didn’t want Alex to worry more than she already was. “I promise not to judge you based off your mom’s reaction to me.”  
   
“That’s all I ask,” She gave a huge smile before going in for another kiss.  
   
\----  
   
Tuesday was here and Tobin was leaning against the lamp post outside the store. She drank the last of her coffee and tossed the cup in the recycling, then let out a loud sigh.  
   
Meghan looked over to her friend. Tobin had been quite all morning, which was usually normal, but they had made a promise to talk more in the mornings since they only saw each other half of their afternoons now. Tobin clearly had something she wanted to say, but she wasn't saying it, so it was up to Meghan to get it out of her.  
   
“You look like crap,” the shorter girl said, she wasn't as tactful as she’d hoped.  
   
Tobin looked over at her with lowered eyebrows. “I didn't sleep much.”  
   
“Up all night talking to Alex?” As much as she didn't really want to hear about Alex, the new girl in their lives was extremely important to Tobin, and that made it important to her.  
   
“No,” Tobin huffed. “We went to dinner, I kind of spaced out on the whole thing, but when I drove her home her dad was there. He invited me to a barbecue tonight.”  
   
Meghan thought for a second, how was she supposed to go to a barbecue when the pickup game was tonight? She quickly pushed the thought out of her head, Tobin was stressed and she needed her best friend, not someone nagging her about double booking her time. “So you're going to a barbecue, what's the big deal?”  
   
“Meeting her family,” she said frustrated. “Lex says her dad and sisters are great, she said Morgan's family is kick ass, but her mom is awful and she's almost guaranteed to hate me.”  
   
“Shit,” Meghan replied. She had about as much experience in meeting anyone's family as Tobin did, “Uh, maybe we should take this to the boss lady. We are starting to get into uncharted waters here.”  
   
Tobin agreed, neither of them were an expert on girlfriends and what to do when it came to any topic surrounding them, so it was probably better to ask someone who did know what to do. Ashlyn had become a lot more than just a boss to them, over the last month she was more like a big sister and a mentor. Tobin looked up to her, not just because she was a professional soccer player, but because she was living her life the way Tobin had always wanted. Ashlyn was carefree, she didn't answer to anyone, she wasn’t afraid to be herself. The thing Tobin most admired about her, she was out and proud and had a gorgeous girl on her arm, not just that, but a gorgeous girl who also played soccer. If Tobin could have anything in the whole world, she would want to be a professional soccer player, out to the entire world, and Alex Morgan right beside her.  
   
They went into the store, Ashlyn was in the office typing numbers into a spread sheet. Every time the two girls saw her working, sitting at a desk hunched forward, squinting at tiny numbers on the computer screen it served as a reminder that they never wanted to be in that position. Ashlyn was an excellent boss, she understood them and their energetic ways, she knew exactly what it was like to see a soccer ball and have an uncontrollable urge to kick it, but the one thing Ashlyn was not was a desk person, and neither Meghan nor Tobin wanted to ever be a desk person either.  
   
“What’s up mini me’s?” Ashlyn asked, referring to the girls with their new nicknames she had thought of a few days ago.  
   
“Tobin has an issue,” Meghan said casually. “A girl issue.”  
   
Ashlyn punched one last number into the spread sheet then turned her chair around. “A girl issue? What’s going on?”  
   
Tobin lowered her head. “I got invited to a barbecue tonight, with Alex’s family… Her whole family.”  
   
Ashlyn cringed a little. “Woo, that sucks.”  
   
“I wasn’t too worried about it until Alex said her mom is not going to like me.” Her face was sad, her eyes red from lack of sleep. “Her mom is not a fan of her being gay.”  
   
Ashlyn nodded her head. “Okay so she’s not going to like you no matter what you do.” She sat with her hand on her chin. “Well, there’s nothing you can really do Tobs. If she doesn’t like her daughter being gay, then she wouldn’t even like her if Alex brought home the Queen of England. She’s going to hate you, but not for who you are. If I was you, I would focus on the people that will like you. How’s her dad?”  
   
“I met him yesterday.” Tobin smiled a bit. “He seemed pretty cool. Lex says he’s like her best friend, and he is totally cool with everything. Her sisters are apparently the same way, but I haven’t met them yet.”  
   
“In that case you have two option,” She sat up in her chair. “You can go be awkward for a few hours and be uncomfortable because her mom doesn’t like you, or you can go be super awesome and make her mom feel like a jerk for not liking you for you. If you kick ass at this party and her mom is the only fool who doesn’t like you, then that’s on her, not you.”  
   
Tobin nodded. “I just want to make sure Alex is okay. I don’t know their whole situation, but I know she has issues with her mom. I don’t want to make anything worse.”  
   
“Alex knew what she was getting into when she started dating you,” Meghan said quickly.  
   
Ashlyn pointed at Meghan and smiled. “Tiny-Me is right, Alex knows her mom, and she knows what to expect. Focus on her dad, if he’s her best friend then he is the one you want to impress. All in all Little-Me, don’t think about it, just go be you and everyone who matters will love you.”  
   
“Yeah, you’re super lovable.” Meghan threw her arm around her best friends shoulder and squeezed tight. “Look at that face. How can someone hate that face?”  
   
Ashlyn chuckled. “It would be pretty hard.”  
   
After they were done talking, Ashlyn kicked them out of the office so she could finish her work. Tobin started on stacking the new merchandise while Meghan went into the store front to start setup. The idea of meeting Alex’s family was still scary, but what Ashlyn said made sense. If there was no way for Alex’s mom to ever like her, than she didn’t need to worry about it too much. Alex’s dad seemed to like her well enough in the two minutes they interacted, so she needed to think about impressing him and her sisters. Jeri coming home was one of the reasons Alex was so excited about the party, so that meant her sisters meant a lot to her. Tobin decided that she didn’t need to think about Alex’s mom so much.  
   
The rest of the work day went by in a flash, mostly because Tobin was off in her own world trying to think of things to say at the party. Meghan spent most of her time on the floor talking to Christen, they had become extremely close, which was a good thing because Tobin didn’t have to feel so bad about abandoning her best friend so much. The only thing that sucked was when Meghan reminded her about missing the pickup game, but she didn’t mess with her too much because Meghan could tell she was stressed enough.  
   
After work, Tobin went home to get ready, she had about an hour before the party started, just enough time to shower and change. It was a surprisingly hot day in New Jersey, so she threw on a pair of shorts and her World Champions tank top. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time before putting her black hat SnapBack on her head and heading out the door. The entire drive, she kept repeating funny stories about herself that she planned on telling if it came up. She took deep breaths and steadied her hands on the steering wheel, she could do this.  
   
She was finally there, sitting outside of Alex's house. She could feel her heart beating in her chest, Ashlyn’s words repeating in her head. She wasn't going to get Alex's mom to like her, so she needed to focus on the people in her girlfriend’s life that she could impress. She got out and texted Alex that she was there, a minute had passed and Alex was walking from behind the fence headed towards her. Alex was wearing a short sleeved white t shirt and a pair of jean shorts that gave Tobin full view of her toned legs. As Tobin scanned her eyes up her girlfriend’s long legs, she started to feel a little better.  
   
“Tobin Heath.” Alex smiled and gave her a big hug. She had been nervously waiting for Tobin to arrive. The entire time, Morgan had been trying to convince her that everything was going to be okay, not that Alex would ever believe that. “You ready for this?”  
   
Tobin nodded, she took a deep breath, looking over at the back fence then over to the set of blue eyes looking at her. “I guess so.”  
   
Running her hand down Tobin's arm, Alex tried to think of something soothing to say, but all she could really think about in that second was how toned Tobin's arms were. “You should go for the sleeveless option more often,” she said without thinking. When Tobin gave her the typical shy smile, Alex leaned over and kissed her. “Come on, we can do this.”  
   
The backyard was huge, with a big wooden deck that took up three quarters of it. Standing on the deck were two guys drinking beer around the grill and four women sitting around a table sipping from glasses and talking. Tobin looked over to the grass, Morgan and a girl that looked like an older version of Morgan were kicking a soccer ball back and forth. If only Tobin could go over there and just focus on soccer. Alex had other plans, she dragged her over to the front of the deck and cleared her throat loudly.  
   
She was talking loud enough to be heard over the music, but not too loud. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend Tobin Heath,” Alex said, pointing at Tobin, who waved nervously. “Girlfriend Tobin Heath, this is everyone.”  
   
Everyone gave them both a wave and a smile, expect for the woman sitting at the back end of the table. From the look on her face and the resemblance to Alex, the woman was obviously Alex’s mom, and she did not look happy to see Tobin. Lucky for Tobin, before anyone got the chance to say anything, Alex was dragging her from the deck and over to Morgan and the other girl playing soccer. It seemed Alex had the same idea, soccer was the best way to get through this.  
   
“Sup, girlfriend Tobin Heath, I’m Jen.” The girl had a nice smile, it matched her little sister’s.  
   
“Nice to meet you,” Tobin said lightly.  
   
Morgan smiled. “I can’t believe Lex is throwing you into the lion’s den. She’s insane”  
   
“Yeah, maybe you should have brought Kling with you,” Alex said with wide eyes.  
   
Jennifer looked over to her little sister. “Who’s Kling?”  
   
“No one,” Morgan said through gritted teeth, giving Alex an evil look. “She’s just Tobin’s best friend.”  
   
“Yeah, just,” Alex laughed. “Let’s play some soccer.” She turned to Tobin and smiled. “I assume you know how to play one goal.”  
   
Tobin nodded. “Of course.”  
   
“Then it’s you and me against the Brian’s.” She gave her a huge smile. “Let’s kick some ass.”  
   
The game was simple enough, they had one goal, which was two post just about regulation size and a net behind it that reached the fence. The fence was tall and had a bunch of round mud marks on it where Alex had spent time kicking the ball at it over the years. There was a small yellow line in the grass, that looked like it was the perfect distance for a penalty kick. The team had to start at the yellow line and pass the ball to their other teammate, with only ground passes. If the other team stole the ball, they had to take it past the yellow line before going for goal. Morgan and her sister matched up perfectly, years of playing in their backyard really paid off, but still Alex and Tobin were an excellent team. Tobin was happy to take the ball and bring it to the backline before passing it off to Alex to score. Alex was a natural forward, so it was easy work for her to score within a few touches.  
   
The entire game, Tobin was enjoying herself. Everyone on the deck would yell down at them, calling fouls and other penalties. It seemed the entire group was heavy into soccer, which was to be expected seeing as how both Jennifer and Morgan played and, of course, how passionate Alex was about the game. They played for about an hour, and Tobin was sweating and surprisingly out of breath. She didn’t expect the game to be so fast paced, but it was actually a challenge keeping up with the Brian sisters.  
   
Tobin was having more fun then she thought she would. Alex was smiling and making funny comments the entire time. Each time they scored a goal she would give Tobin a high five, then a low five and add another kind of move to the high five until it took them ten seconds just to finish the new celebratory makeshift hand shake. She was happy just to hear Alex laugh. She thought she wasn’t going to hear that laugh all day, but she was wrong, Alex was happy, which made everything so much easier.  
   
The game was 11-12 in favor of Alex and Tobin when a heavy male voice called down to them. The food was ready, the smell of barbecued chicken and grilled vegetables filled the air. Alex declared her and Tobin champions of the backyard and the four of them headed up the deck to get food.  
   
Everyone was in a line putting food on plates. Suddenly without the soccer ball at her feet Tobin started to feel nervous. She watched Alex put food on her plate, and she tried to focus on that, taking a little bit of everything that looked good. Tobin had been to a few barbecues but only with her family and Meghan’s, she had no idea how to act with strangers. As she sat down, next to Alex and across from Morgan’s sister she suddenly forgot how to eat. Her fork was foreign to her, she couldn’t remember how the hell to hold it, or which hand the knife went in, so she sat for a few seconds just staring at her plate.  
   
“Relax,” Alex whispered. She put her hand under the table and grabbed Tobin’s knee giving it a light squeeze.  
   
Tobin looked over at her and smiled. She was not going to relax, but she was at least going to eat.  
   
Everyone was talking amongst themselves for a few minutes, Alex’s dad asking Morgan’s mom about work. Tobin was happy to not have any attention on her, but that was short lived. Alex’s dad was the first one with a question.  
   
“So Tobin, I hear you are going to UNC in the fall.” he said loud enough to get everyone’s attention.  
   
Tobin was mid bite when he said something. She took the fork away from her mouth and smiled. “Uh, yes, sir.”  
   
He nodded. “I assume you are playing soccer.”  
   
“Yes, sir.” That was an easy one.  
   
“Good. I have seen you out on the field, you’re really good,” he said happily.  
   
Tobin grinned. “Thank you.”  
   
“Tobin is going to UNC full ride,” Alex added in quickly.  
   
Her dad looked at Tobin with raised eyebrows. “Really? Can’t say I’m shocked, you’ve got some serious moves.”  
   
“Thank you,” Tobin said again, not really sure what to say to that.  
   
“Are you outside practicing all day like Lexy?” It was one of Alex’s sisters who was asking. Tobin looked over, she looked a little younger, from her clothes and the way she wore her makeup, so she assumed it was Jenny.  
   
“Pretty much, yeah,” Tobin laughed. “My best friend and I have a goal set up, kind of like this, in her backyard. We are out there every day after work.”  
   
Jenny nodded. “Is she going to UNC too?”  
   
“Yeah, we both got scholarships,” Tobin said happily.  
   
“Which one is your best friend?” Jenny asked.  
   
“Ask Morgan,” Alex laughed.  
   
Morgan kicked her under the table. “Shut up.”  
   
The two best friends exchanged dirty looks across the table. Morgan’s parents looked over at her and smiled.  
   
“So what’s your major going to be?” Alex’s mom was sitting on the other end of the table so she was almost shouting, though Tobin suspected she might have shouted even if they were sitting right next to each other.  
   
Tobin swallowed hard. “I don’t have one yet. I was thinking Communications or English, but I’m not really sure.”  
   
Her face twisted a bit, her head leaning a little to the side they way Alex’s did when she was curious about something. “So you don’t know what you are going to do after college?”  
   
“No, I do,” Tobin said, sitting up in her chair. “I want to be a pro soccer player.”  
   
Alex’s mom’s eyes lowered, it was shocking how her mannerisms mimicked her daughters, almost to the point where it kind of freaked Tobin out. “What are you going to do in school? What will you focus on?”  
   
“Soccer,” Tobin said with a little shrug, the word came out simply like it was the only answer in the entire world. “I don’t need to declare a major until junior year. I figure the first two years I will knock out all my core classes. This way I can focus on soccer and make the starting lineup. College is when scouts really start looking at you, I need to make an impression. I want to make it to the NWSL, maybe even the national team.”  
   
Everyone at the table nodded. They had heard this before from the three young soccer players at the table. The Brian’s and the Morgan’s were no strangers to professional soccer dreams. The whole table seemed to accept the answer expect Alex’s mom.  
   
“What happens if you don’t make it? What’s your back up plan?” she asked with a little bite to her voice.  
   
“Mom,” Alex snapped.  
   
Tobin turned to Alex quickly. “It’s okay,” she said, hoping Alex would stay calm. “I don’t want a backup plan. I know it sounds crazy, but I think if you have a backup plan then it’s always there for you to fall back on, like a net underneath a tight rope. If I know the net’s there I’ll never be afraid to fall which means I will never try my hardest to not fall. If there is no safety net, then I will have to put all my effort into not falling. I want to be a pro soccer player, that’s all I want. If I get hurt, I’ll rehab and go again. If I get hurt beyond repair, then I’ll think about something else. Until then it’s all soccer and nothing else.”  
   
The entire table went silent, thinking about what was just said. Tobin looked around for a second, not wanting to make direct eye contact with Alex’s mom. Before the silence got awkward Alex’s dad spoke up.  
   
“Sounds like sound reasoning to me.” He looked over to his wife with a little smile, then he turned to Alex. “Still, I’d like you to keep your major.”  
   
Alex laughed a little. “Don’t worry dad, I’m still a finance major.” She looked over to Tobin. “If the whole soccer thing doesn’t work out I am going to work for my dad’s company. Then we can name it Morgan and Morgan, and kick ass all day together.” She stuck out her fist and her dad gave her a quick fist bump.  
   
“Don’t say ass, Alexandra,” her mom said quickly  
   
Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Sorry.”  
   
The rest of the meal went pretty quickly.  The conversation turned from Tobin and her crazy future plans and landed on random things. Tobin made comments here and there whenever she was asked, but mostly she kept quiet. In true Alex nature, she had something to say about almost everything, most of her comments were met with laughter from everybody expect her mom, who seemed to scowl in her general direction.  
   
Tobin couldn’t help but think of how lucky she actually was when it came to her mom. Momma Heath may have been overbearing, controlling and nosey, but she at least loved Tobin no matter what. There were many times when Tobin laid awake at night and thought about coming out to her parents, she thought about how her mom would react, and if she would hate her for it. No matter how she spun it, no matter how much her mom didn’t like the idea of anyone being homosexual, Tobin always landed on one thing, her mom would love her no matter what. Alex’s mom seemed to be different, she may love Alex, but from where Tobin was sitting, it was pretty clear she didn’t like her very much.  
   
At the end of the meal Alex grabbed Tobin’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Do you want to see my room?” she asked, her big, blue eyes sparkling in the fading sun  
   
“Yeah,” Tobin answered with a big smile.  
   
Alex lead her through the sliding back door and into the house. The Morgan home was pretty typical, nice furniture placed around the house in typical fashion, neutral colors throughout. It reminded Tobin of her house, not interesting, but comfortable the way a home should be. They went upstairs and to the last room on the left.  
   
“Well, this is it,” Alex said holding out her arm, presenting the room to her girlfriend.  
   
She watched Tobin walk around the room, she felt almost nervous having the shy girl look at all the stuff in he room. Her room was small, but she filled the sea foam green walls with posters of movies and music that she loved. Her bookshelf was surprisingly full of paperback novels with cracked spines.  Her desk had a sleek silver computer on it, the background changing from different photos she had taken over the years. Her bed was huge and properly made, which was another shocker because Tobin took Alex’s free spirit and hyperactive nature as someone who wouldn’t care about making their bed in the morning. All in all, the room was in stark contrast to everything else Tobin saw in the house. The color was bold and everything around was so far beyond typical, it was hard to claim this room as a part of the rest of the house.  
   
“So, what do you think?” Alex asked, her back pressed against the door frame.  
   
Tobin turned around and smiled. “It’s very Alex Morgan.”  
   
“That means you like it,” Alex laughed.  
   
“I do like Alex Morgan,” Tobin chuckled.  
   
Tobin looked around again, wanting to take in as much information as she could, when her eyes fell on a picture handing on the wall. She moved closer, looking at the photo through squinted eyes.  
   
“Is this the 8th grade championships?” Tobin asked.  
   
Alex walked over to her. “Yeah, that was an awesome day.”  
   
“Yeah it was,” she said, her mind wandering back to the exact moment the photo was taken.  
   
It was a long day, they traveled over two hours to get to the stadium, then played an extremely long and hard fought game that went into penalty kicks at the end. They ended up winning PK’s 5-4, Alex making the winning shot. Everyone was crazy and excited, it took every adult that traveled with them to get all the girls settled enough to take the photo around the giant trophy. The bus was buzzing, everyone jumping around, no one stayed in their assigned seat. Even Tobin and Meghan were too amped up to sit still so they sat in the front, bouncing in their seats, and sang along to songs, even if no one could hear them. The day was especially memorable because that was the day Tobin knew for sure that she was pretty much crazy about Alex.  
   
“That last PK was so great,” Tobin said with a slight smile. “You were great. I use to just watch you play. You moved down the field so quickly, I have no idea how you’re so fast.” She lowered her head a little. “Every season, I would just watch you. Every year, you were always standing right over there, just right across from me… But never in front of me.”  
   
Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed. She reached up and touched her finger to her cheek, turning her head so their eyes could meet. “Hey… I’m standing in front of you now.”  
   
Which one leaned in first was a mystery, maybe they leaned in together, but before either of them could think, their lips were crashing together. Alex put her hands behind Tobin’s neck, her fingers tangling in the soft hairs. Without thinking, Tobin put her hands on Alex’s waist and pulled her in so their fronts were touching. Alex took the confident movements as a cue to deepen the kiss, slipping her tongue past Tobin’s lips and starting to explore her mouth. A little taken back by this new form of kissing, Tobin took a step back, but Alex matched it, suddenly the back of Tobin’s legs were pushed against the desk with a little crash that just made Alex push harder against her. Tobin could feel her head spinning as she got use to the feel of her girlfriend’s tongue against hers. Alex let her hands fall, sliding them down the soft skin on Tobin’s exposed arms, her mind was racing but it had only one destination in mind. Before they could turn this kiss into anything more, someone cleared their throat in the hallway.  
   
Alex quickly turned to see her big sister in the doorway.  
   
“Ice cream,” Jenny smiled.  
   
“Ice cream,” Alex laughed, “We’ll be down in a second.  
   
Jenny left the doorway and Alex turned to smile as Tobin who’s lips were now a little pinker than before. Alex grinned and shook her head. “Ice cream.”  
   
Tobin nodded, she knew exactly what that meant, they needed to get back downstairs. Still, Alex gave her another kiss, this one more tame than the last. They walked back through the house, Alex pulling Tobin along by her hand.  
   
As much as Tobin wanted to focus on the party, it was hard, how was she supposed to stop thinking about that kiss? How was she supposed to stop thinking about the way Alex felt pressed up against her? Or the way she seemed almost hungry for a lot more than just the kiss. The way Alex’s tongue moved in her mouth, the way Alex’s hands moved down her arms, the way she breathed, that was not something you simply stopped thinking about so you could eat chocolate ice cream out of a plastic bowl. No, there was no way to wipe her mind clean of Alex Morgan pushing her against a desk.  
   
The sun was already set and the deck was lit up by a few tiki torches and the deck lights. Music was playing lightly in the background and everyone had broken off into groups. Tobin and Alex sat in the grass with Morgan and Jennifer. They were talking about soccer and the upcoming trip to Boston that Jennifer wished she could go on but had to work. Alex was going on and on about how excited she was to get out of town and just watch some good soccer. Tobin was listening, but her mind was still filled with the way Alex tasted. When Alex reached over and put her hand on Tobin’s knee, she was jerked out of her thoughts.  
   
“I wish we were leaving Thursday night with the rest of the group,” Alex said, looking over to Tobin with a pout on her face.  
   
Tobin nodded. “Yeah, me too. Kling is pretty upset about that.” She thought for a second. “I don’t want her to be upset all trip.”  
   
“Don’t worry, babe,” Alex laughed. “Moe will make sure she is happy all trip.”  
   
Morgan gasped and threw a spoon at Alex’s head. “You are the worst best friend in the world.”  
   
“Who is this Kling person I keep hearing about?” Jennifer asked, looking over to her little sister, who’s face was now red.  
   
“Yeah, Moe,” Alex teased. “Who is Kling?”  
   
Tobin picked up the spoon from Alex’s lap and gathered everyone’s bowls. “I’m going to throw this stuff away. You guys can talk all you want about Kling while I’m gone.”  
   
Tobin listened as Alex teased Morgan. She got up and left the circle, heading for the trash can located on the deck. As she reached the trash, she was met with Alex’s big sisters, both of them sporting scowls on their faces.  
   
“Uh, hey,” Tobin said, her throat now feeling unbelievably dry.  
   
“How are things, Tobin?” Jeri asked, crossing her arms.  
   
Tobin looked back at Alex, who was not paying attention to her. “Uh, good, I think.”  
   
“Good.” Jeri squinted at her.  
   
Jenny moved closer to Tobin. “You see that smile on our baby sister’s face?” She nodded over to Alex’s direction.  
   
Tobin looked back for a second before turning to meet the incredibly beautiful, albeit scary, blue eyes of Alex’s sisters. “Yes,” was all she could manage to say.  
   
“We haven’t seen her smile like that in a long time,” Jenny said in a low voice. “That means you are making her smile, and that’s good for you. But if there ever comes a time when the smile stops, you don’t want to know what we will do to you.”  
   
Tobin swallowed hard, she had never really been threatened before. “O-okay.”  
   
“Take care of our baby sister, Tobin,” Jeri said, right before a sly smile came on her face. “If you don’t take care of her, we will take care of you… Understand?”  
   
“Y-yeah, I understand,” Tobin choked out.  
   
“Good stuff.” Jenny smiled as if she didn’t just threaten to kill Tobin. “Go have fun, kid.”  
   
Tobin turned on her heels and started walking back to the grass where the others were sitting. She turned around once to look back at the two oldest Morgan girls, they both smiled and waved at her, so she quickly turned back and found a seat next to Alex.  
   
“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Alex asked as Tobin sat down.  
   
Tobin looked back up at the deck,. “Y-yeah, I’m okay.”  
   
They all talked until Morgan’s parents were ready to go. They moved from the backyard to the front porch and waited for the adults to finally stop talking. Jennifer went inside to talk to Jenny and Jeri about something and Alex was called in by her dad, so it left Tobin and Morgan sitting on the porch, looking out into the front yard. This was the first time they had ever been alone.  
   
“You’re good for her, you know,” Morgan said, after a few minutes of silence between them.  
   
Tobin looked over at her. “Really?”  
   
“Yeah,” she turned her head to meet Tobin’s big eyes. “You’re really good for her.” She turned back and looked out into the distance. “Don’t hurt her Tobin.”  
   
“I wouldn’t,” She replied quickly. “I couldn’t.”  
   
“You can,” Morgan said, shaking her head. “But I trust you when you say you won’t.” There was a long pause before she spoke again. “Be honest with me… Do I have a chance with Meghan?”  
   
Tobin laughed a little. “Yeah, you have an extremely good chance.” She wanted to hold back, keep her friends secret safe, but she knew that if she didn’t say something now, this whole situation was going to be dragged out a lot longer than it should. “She likes you a lot. Like a lot. Like the way I like Alex a lot.”  
   
“Really,” Morgan smiled. “She always seems so…”  
   
“Scared?” Tobin interrupted. “She is nervous, she tries to act all cool like she is the coolest person ever, but she is really nervous, especially when it comes to you. Just keep going, and maybe give her a little push. Trust me, she likes you.”  
   
Morgan smiled. “Okay, I’ll try.”  
   
Alex came out of the house with Morgan’s family. Everyone hugged goodbye, even Tobin got a big hug from Morgan’s mom, then everyone left and Tobin was alone with Alex. As soon as the taillights of the Brian’s care were out of view, Alex turned and threw her arms around Tobin’s neck.  
   
“You did so good,” she said as she pressed her face into her shoulder.  
   
Tobin put her arms around Alex’s waist. “You think so?”  
   
Alex looked up at her. “Everyone loves you.”  
   
“Except your mom,” she shrugged,  
   
“Eh, who cares what she thinks.” Alex brushed it off. “Everyone else loves you.”  
   
Alex leaned in, kissed her, and suddenly Tobin was back in that room with Alex pushing her against the desk. It was over an hour ago yet every touch after that made Tobin feel like she was on fire. Every time Alex would brush her hand against Tobin’s leg, or whisper something in her ear, Tobin remembered the feel of Alex’s hands on her bare arms, the taste of her tongue, the sound of her breath. Every single touch lead her mind right back to that moment and what would have happened if someone didn’t interrupt them.  
   
Tobin had her eyes closed, but she saw the flickering light on the porch, she opened and them and stared at the light bulb going on and off.  
   
“That’s my dads way of saying I should say goodnight.” Alex laughed a little.  
   
She smiled, it was kind of cool being told to leave while kissing your girlfriend on her front porch. “Okay, I’ll text you when I get home.”  
   
“You better,” Alex grinned, then planted another quick kiss on Tobin’s lips before pulling apart and heading inside.  
   
Tobin watched Alex go in the house before she happily walked off the porch and to her car. She played music loudly as she drove home, all the happy songs she could think of, the ones that reminded her of Alex played at least twice. She was almost home when her phone buzzed. She looked down and saw Alex’s number.  
   
**Alex:** Come get me please  
   
A sudden rush of fear came over her and she made a quick U-turn to speed off to Alex’s house. It didn’t take long to get there, she parked on the curb not knowing what to do. Tobin stood outside the car, ready to do whatever she needed to do. She texted Alex to let her know she was outside, almost as soon as the text was sent, Alex was running out of the house, her mom standing in the door yelling.  
   
“Alexandra, get back here!” Alex’s mom screamed.  
   
Alex didn’t look back, she ran to Tobin and wrapped her arms around her. “Take me somewhere, please,” she said into her shoulder.  
   
Tobin put her arms around her and held her tight. “Okay.”  
   
She got Alex into the car, her mom was still in the doorway calling her name. Tobin went to the driver’s side and looked up to Alex’s mom, her eyes trying to convey how sorry she was for taking her daughter, but at the end of the day Alex came first, no matter what.  
   
They drove for a few minutes, Alex was almost curled into a ball in the passenger seat. Tobin could hear her sobbing lightly, her face was turned away. As she drove she tried to think of somewhere they could go to be alone, the only place she could think of was the park, so she drove and parked under the street lamp and waited for Alex to say something.  
   
“I hate her,” Alex said after a few minutes of sitting in silence. “I hate her so much.”  
   
“What happened?” Tobin asked, her voice almost too quiet to hear.  
   
Alex turned around, she wiped her face with the collar of her shirt. “As soon as you left, she just laid into me like she always does.”  
   
Tobin swallowed hard, her voice was shaky. “About me?”  
   
“About everything. She hates everything I do.” Alex was worked up, almost shouting. “It’s like no matter what I do, she has a problem with it. I find something I love to do, and she hates it. I find a good college, and it’s too far away. I get a scholarship to play the sport I love, and she goes on and on about getting injured. So I pick a major that will get me a good job, in case something does happen to me, and she hates it. I want to work for my dad, and she doesn’t approve. It’s like she finds ways to hate absolutely everything that I do no matter what. I was never good enough as a kid, and I will never be good enough now. I mean come on, I found a great girl… Look at you… You’re so beautiful and smart and sweet and incredibly polite. You’re an amazing soccer player, you’re skill is off the charts. You’re going full ride to a top school, and still it’s not good enough, because why? You’re a girl. I just can’t win with her. I swear if you were a boy, she’d be over the fucking moon about you.”  
   
Tobin waited for a second to make sure Alex was done ranting. “Sorry I’m not a boy,” she said softly.  
   
Alex started to laugh. “You’re the best, you know that?”  
   
“I try.” Tobin smiled, happy she got her girlfriend to laugh at least a little bit. “You know I don’t know what it’s like for you, my mom is different, I mean she is tough, it can feel like she doesn’t like me sometimes, but I do know one thing, she loves me. I know that’s how your mom feels about you.”  
   
Alex nodded. “Yeah, I know she loves me… Sometimes that’s not enough though, sometimes I just need someone to like me, and not just the popular Alex who says all the right things, not the Alex that everyone wants me to be, I need someone to like me for me.”  
   
“I like you,” Tobin replied with a little shrug.  
   
Alex laughed again. “I like you too.”  
   
Tobin sat up in her seat, moving closer to the center, Alex sat up and met her in the middle. They hugged across the center console, Alex’s arm clutching tight around Tobin’s neck, she could feel Tobin holding her closer. She pulled away just enough to let their lips touch. It was like as soon as she felt Tobin’s lips on hers, all the emotions melted away. One of her hands went behind Tobin’s head, the other finding its way down her arm. Suddenly, Alex felt a rush go through her, and she had one thing on her mind.  
   
Everything moved quickly, so fast Tobin didn’t really get a chance to react. Alex had pushed her into the drivers seat, then climbed over the center console to straddle her lap. They were kissing, it was heavy, weighed down by passion and a wanting she had never felt before. Alex’s tongue moved around her mouth, exploring every inch. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Tobin’s hands drifted up on Alex’s hips, going under her shirt to feel her soft skin. Tobin was laying back in the chair, unable to move more than her hands and her head from side to side as Alex kissed her with hunger.  
   
Alex sat up all the way and grabbed the hem of the white t-shirt she was wearing. Tobin watched as she lifted the shirt over her head, her dark brown hair falling around her face, making her blue eyes darker. Tobin’s eyes open wide as she scanned over Alex’s body. The only thing Tobin could think was _she is perfect._ Tobin looked up from her tight abs, to her breast held back by a black bra, then she scanned her eyes up to see the sly smile on her face. Alex knew exactly what she had just done, one single motion rendered her girlfriend speechless, but she didn’t want Tobin to speak, she needed her to do other things.  
   
Tobin took a huge breath as their lips crashed together once again. Her mind was spinning, her hands on Alex’s bare back, everything was soft and firm in all the right places. Thoughts began to form in her head, this was happening, right now, in this moment, this was happening, Alex Morgan was sitting on top of her half naked, well like 5/8 naked, and she was kissing her, roughly, biting her bottom lip right before kissing along her jaw and to her ear, where she was whispering something. _Pay attention Tobin._  
   
“Wh-what?” Tobin breathed out.  
   
Alex pressed a kiss to her ear. “I said, are you good?”  
   
“Y-yeah, I’m good,” Tobin said, trying not to convey how incredibly freaked out she was, because she was freaked out, but there was no way she was going to put a stop to Alex kissing her neck.  
   
As she kissed down her neck, breathing in that amazing scent that was so Tobin, Alex felt the pressure building up inside her. She knew what she wanted, and she didn’t want to stop and think about getting it. She grabbed the bottom of Tobin’s shirt and tugged it just a little before looking up and the girl sitting underneath her. She watched Tobin nod just a little, if she wasn’t paying attention, she probably would have missed it. That’s all she needed, she pulled the shirt up, forcing Tobin to sit up enough to allow the shirt to come off completely. Alex looked down at her girlfriend, this is what she had been waiting on for a long time, and it was way better than she had ever imagined. Tobin’s stomach was toned, with the blocks of her abs sticking out just enough to show they were there. She was wearing a white sports bra, something Alex desperately wanted to take off, but now that the idea of what was going on was pretty much solidified into both their minds, she could take her time. She leaned in and kissed Tobin again, Alex’s hands on either side of her face, just before they slid down to cup her breast, a chill shooting down her spine.  
   
Tobin could feel Alex pushing down on her lap, her hips rocking back and forth in some rhythm Tobin wished she had. Everything was amazing and crazy and frightening and made her a little anxious, but she wanted this. She reached her hands up and set them on Alex’s hips just above the jean shorts Alex was wearing. Yeah, this was happening, she could do this.  
   
Alex pushed down on Tobin’s lap trying to find some kind of friction to satisfy her. Her hands were wandering from Tobin’s breast down to her abs and back again, her fingers longing to slip under the elastic of her bra. She kissed her harder, licking into her mouth, trying to move everything along just a little bit more, when she felt Tobin’s hands shaking against her.  
   
She kissed along her jaw and to her ear to whisper. “You okay, baby?”  
   
Tobin nodded. “Yeah, I-I’m okay.” She paused for a second, closing her eyes as tight as she could as she felt Alex’s teeth on her earlobe. “I’m okay… I just… I’ve just… n-never done this before.”  
   
“Shit,” Alex said in almost a whisper. She sat up and looked down at her girlfriend, whose eyes were now wide with worry. “Shit, Tobin,” Alex said louder. She popped up, smacking the back of her head against the roof. “Shit!” she yelled grabbing the back of her head.  
   
Alex moved off of her so fast, it made Tobin feel almost empty from the lack of contact. She didn’t get to say a word before Alex was grabbing her discarded shirt and opening the passenger’s door to exit the car. Tobin sat for a second and watched her walk way, putting her shirt on and cursing under her breath. She grabbed her shirt from the back seat where Alex had thrown it and put it on. Outside Alex was standing under a lamp post a few yards away, her arms crossed.  
   
Tobin lowered her head, she had messed it all up. _Why did you even say anything? It’s Alex, you finally got Alex, and you mess it up. How did this happen? Now she is pissed at you. Now she will never want to talk to you again. She is going to break up with you. You should have just kept your dumb mouth shut._ Tobin could feel the tears starting to form behind her eyes. _Go talk to her. You might as well get it over with. Go, so she can break up with you for being a loser._ The tears started to flow down her cheeks. She took a deep breath then opened the car door. She walked slowly over to Alex, who had her back turned. She stood for a second, not ready for what was going to happen next.  
   
“I’m sorry,” Tobin whispered.  
   
Alex turned around, her eyes filled with tears. “No, babe, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She threw her arms around Tobin’s neck, pulling her in close. “This wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”  
   
She let her arms move around Alex’s waist, holding on to her as tight as she could. “I know I messed it up.”  
   
“You didn’t mess anything up.” Alex pulled away to look into her girlfriend’s eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I was upset, and you… You are so perfect. I just wanted to feel good, I wanted you to make me feel good, but I should have thought it through. I should have thought about the fact that you haven’t done anything like that before. This is all my fault.”  
   
“I want to… you know,” Tobin smiled. “I just don’t really know what I am doing.”  
   
Alex smiled a little. “Honestly, no one really knows what they are doing.”  
   
“I can figure it out, you know, if you want,” she said with a big grin.  
   
“I do,” Alex laughed. “But not here, not now. You shouldn’t lose your virginity in the front seat of a car in a public park.”  
   
She laughed. “Where should I lose it?”  
   
“I don’t know, in a bed, or a couch, or at the very least a futon.”  
   
They both started to crack up, holding each other close. Alex laid her head on Tobin’s shoulder and smiled when she felt Tobin press a kiss into her hair. She may have made a huge mistake, trying to rush into something Tobin was clearly not ready for, but it was okay. Alex was just happy to have an amazing girlfriend, who was patient and understanding, even when she messed up. It was a good thing too, because she didn’t think she could handle losing Tobin.  
   
Alex pulled away just a little. “Hey, do you have a soccer ball?”  
   
Tobin smiled. “Of course.”  
   
“Let’s play some footy.” Alex smiled, leaning in to kiss her one more time, before they both took off for the car.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT!? You wanted Preath.... Go back a chapter homie.


	19. Road Trippin (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group starts the first day of their road trip together. Tobin learns that Meghan wants to leave a day late so she can hang out with Morgan, so Tobin is on the road trip without her best friend. They girls meet up with some boys at the hotel and hang out.
> 
>  
> 
> *** WARNING: there is some underage drinking in this so if that bothers you then the end of this chapter might be a problem.***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took this long to update, my job is stressful as hell and to be honest I was a little down for a few months. I have been away from my wife and puppers for almost eight months now, so I fell into some sadness, but I am okay now and ready to write. Hopefully the next chapters will be out soon. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is the Christen Chapter, so if you are looking for the some Talex then go ahead and go to the next chapter, if not read on homie!!

The night in the car had been one of the best nights of Tobin’s life, even though she was sure she had ruined it, but Christen fixed everything, the way she always seemed too. They spent hours just laying together talking about absolutely everything. It was Christen who finally noticed the time, and pointed out the fact that they needed to work in the morning, reluctantly Tobin agreed and they finally parted ways around eleven. The late hour, and needing to get up early didn’t stop Tobin from texting Christen as soon as she got into the house, it didn’t stop her from getting Christen to talk to her for over an hour before they both couldn’t keep their eyes open. Even all that didn’t stop her heart from beating faster at the thought of seeing Christen at work the next day.

All day at work they were sneaking looks at each other through the widows on the door that lead to the stock room. Meghan of course pestered her about the whole night and why she got home so late. Tobin kept quite, this was something she wanted to keep to herself, just until she figured out what she really wanted. The idea of having sex was still floating around in her head, she needed to figure it our for herself. Even with such a heavy thought, Tobin still found time make excuses to go out of the stock room bringing things Christen didn’t ask for. She still begged her girlfriend to get lunch with her, even though she knew she’d be turned down again. 

Towards the middle of the day Meghan approached Tobin with a sad look on her face, she had something she needed to ask. Apparently Meghan had been talking to Morgan for a few days now and asked if she wanted to go to Boston together, and Meghan felt like it would be dumb to turn her down, since she had been trying for weeks just to get Morgan to talk to her. Even thought she didn’t want to leave her best friend Meghan was asking if she could ride to Boston a day late with the other group, which meant Tobin would be left by herself. There was no way Tobin was going to let Meghan miss her chance to talk to Morgan so of course she said yes, but it made her feel uneasy. She had never been anywhere without Meghan, and now she was going off on a road trip with people she was still getting to know. 

As the day went on Tobin tried to hide her worry about the trip, but Christen noticed it. After Christen got out of work she picked Tobin up from her house and they had dinner in the same place as last time, and drove to the park to talk. They laid in the car, just like the night before, and Tobin told Christen about how insecure she felt about going to Boston with the group of girls. She liked everyone in the group and she was comfortable with Christen, but she had never been without Meghan, especially on something like a road trip, hell she had never been on a road trip without her parents, or Meghan parents, or some kind of authority telling them when to eat and when to go to bed. She was freaking herself out the more she thought about it, what if something happened, what if the girls found out she was totally lame and didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. 

Christen was starting to learn all the signs that lead to a Tobin freak out so it didn’t take long for her to calm the anxious girl. Everyone in the group loved Tobin, there was no way they were going to decided they didn’t like her, and even if something happened Christen would never let anything happen to her. After a while Tobin finally laid back against the folded sweater against the car door, and Christen laid down on her chest and they continued to talk into the night. The conversation turned into more things Tobin was nervous about, and Christen had an answer for almost every single thing. The longer they talked the easier it got to tell Christen her fears, and her hopes and dreams.

The topic of sex came up and Christen confirmed what Tobin already knew, she had sex before, with her ex-girlfriend, and while Christen spared her any real detail, she did reaffirm that she wasn’t going to rush Tobin into anything she wasn’t ready for. 

The more Tobin thought about it the more she realized that she wasn’t ready to have sex, not yet, not for a little while. It wasn’t from lack of thought, she was thinking about it, a lot, it was kind of plaguing her mind in a way, but she wasn’t ready to do it, just think about it. She needed more time with Christen, for them to get to know each other, learn everything there is to know, and then it would happen, naturally, and maybe not in the back seat of a car in the local make out spot. Both nights could have ended in sex, but they didn’t and Tobin wouldn’t change a thing. Well she would change one thing, the whole getting in past midnight and not sleeping part.

Tobin tiptoed into her house, hoping to not wake anyone. She had never gotten home so late before and was not the expert her older sisters were when it came to all the creaks the stairs made. She finally crawled into bed around one o’clock, and tried to close her eyes, but her mind was still racing. She was still nervous about the trip, about Meghan not being there, about being in a group of friends. All of this was so new to her, a girlfriend, a group to hang out with, a road trip without adults, it was so new and it was defiantly freaking her out. She finally closed her eyes around three but it wasn’t sleep, her body was resting but her mind was still going a million miles an hour, finally she sat up and decided to be productive, she needed to pack, so it was better to do that than sit and worry. 

She got up and grabbed some clothes from her closet, her jersey and those ripped jeans that she liked, she had her game time outfit, now she needed one for the drive home. She picked out a v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of shorts, she needed to be comfortable, they were going to be in the car for over three hours. She shoved everything in her duffle bag along with socks, bras, and underwear, all the best pairs she had, plus another t-shit just in case, you never know what can happen on a road trip. She grabbed her phone charger and threw it in the bag along with a book just in case there was time for her to read, even though they would probably be running around Boston from the time they got there until the minute they had to check out, but better safe than sorry. After a quick trip to the bathroom to get her toothbrush and some soap her bag was packed, it was messy and everything would be wrinkled when she finally took it out, but it was packed. Except, she went over the the to drawer of her dresser and looked at the black bikini, there were always pools at places like this, but were they going to swim. Who was she kidding, they were teenage girls at a fancy hotel alone in the summer, of course they were going to swim. She shoved the bikini, a pair of board shorts and a white tang top into her bag. 

Exhausted, she flopped back on her bed and closed her eyes, maybe she could get a few hours of sleep and she wouldn’t feel like crap the whole car ride. She laid her phone on her chest, Christen would text her when she was on her way and hopefully the buzzing would wake her up. She let her eyes close and finally drifted off. 

The buzz of her phone did wake her up, she looked at the screen, two missed calls and five messages, all from Christen. It was way past time for her to wake up. 

**Christen:** I am so tired, but I am on my way.  
**Christen:** Are you awake?  
**Christen:** Babe?  
**Christen:** I’ll be there in five.  
**Christen:** Tobin wake up!

She scrambled to get some shoes on, when her phone buzzed again, another call, she tripped trying to reach the phone, “Shit!… Hello.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Christen laughed on the other end. 

Despite the fact that she landed hard on her side Tobin still had a smile on her face, that voice always made her smile, “Nope, sorry I fell asleep and then I fell. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay, I’m in your car park,” Christen said with a laugh. 

Tobin put on her shoes, and grabbed her bag. She rushed out her room, but not before turning quickly and grabbing her black snapback and putting it on. She was downstairs faster than she ever had been, skipping steps as she went, before she could reach the door her mom called out. 

“Tobin,” Her mom was the kitchen drinking coffee.

Tobin looked out the window on the door and saw Christen leaning against her car, she wanted to go to her, see her again, even though she had just seen her a few hours ago, but her mom was calling and there was no way to ignore her. 

“Morning, uh, I’m going to be late,” Tobin said with her best smile. 

“You were late last night,” Her mothers had the same look on her face that one time she found out Katie skipped school, “Where were you?”

She had two choices, she could tell her the truth, tell her extremely religious mother that she was out all night almost having sex, but not having sex, just talking about it with her girlfriend, or she could choose option two, lie, lie, and lie some more. Tobin didn’t lie to her mom, there were things that she chose to leave out of there relationship, things that were just better off left unsaid but she never outright lied to her mom, maybe today wasn’t the best time to start, but there was no way to tell her the real truth. 

“I was out with my friends, we were just hanging out at the park, and got some food.” She said, happy she didn’t flat out lie.

Her mother raised an eyebrow, “You were out until one o’clock in the morning?”

Tobin shrugged, “Well yeah. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“Curfew is eleven, Tobin Powell.” Her tone was harsh but not angry.

“Yeah, but I’m eighteen,” She shrugged again, “I thought curfew stopped counting when we hit adulthood, I mean Perry comes and goes.” 

This was the first time her mom had ever been even a little bit upset with her about something like curfew. All through high school, she knew what the curfew was, it was told to all of them a million times. ‘Be back by eleven’ were the words out of her mom and dads mouths every time they left the house but Tobin never had to worry about that, if she was going out she was going with Meghan and they had nothing to do past eleven so they always ended up in one of their houses watching movies or in the back yard practicing. Tobin had seen her sisters get in trouble a few times, Perry came in two hours late once, and even Jeff crawled in the house five minutes till midnight one time, but she had no issues with curfew. When Katie and Perry turned eighteen before they went off to college their parents told them they didn’t have a curfew, so Tobin assumed the same, after all she was an adult now, so the thought of coming home last night never really crossed her mind. The only thought she really had was spending as much time as she could with Christen, she probably would still be out there if Christen didn’t force her to go home and try to get some sleep.

Her mom took a deep breath almost relived by the answer, she gave her daughter a smile, “You’re right, I’m just not use to it being you who is coming in at all hours of the night.”

Tobin laughed, “Yeah I guess I’ve never really done this before.” She set her bag down and walked over to her mom throwing her arms around her and laughing. “You’re baby is changing mom, but don’t worry you still have Jeff.”

“Until he starts coming in the house at one,” She said lightly. She gave Tobin a quick kiss on the forehead, “Please be safe on this drive, text me when you can, especially when you get to the hotel.”

“I’ll text you every few hours.” Tobin said with a playful grin, “Don’t worry mom, I’m the responsible one.”

She nodded her head, “Yeah I keep forgetting you’re the good one. Tell Meghan not to drink five RedBulls, she was up for two days the last time.”

“Uh, yeah Meghan is not coming with me today,” she knew this was going to be a problem for her mom, “She is going to head out tomorrow with the other group.”

“Oh no, what happened?” She asked concerned.

“Nothing, she just has something to take care of today. I would wait until tomorrow too, but there won’t be room in the car.”

Her mom pressed her lips together, “Okay, I’m not supper happy about you going with only strangers, but I trust you.”

“They’re not strangers mom,” she paused for a second, “They’re my friends.” That was the first time she had ever said that, this was the first time she really had friends.

Her mom touched her shoulder, “I know, but I don’t know them, not yet. Is it uncool for your friends to meet your mother?”

“Honestly, I have no idea what is uncool,” Tobin laughed, “But I know I am going to be late if I don’t head out.”

“Okay,” her mom gave her another kiss on the forehead. “Have fun, and be careful.”

“Thanks mom, it’s going to be okay.”

“Okay sweetheart.”

She gave her mom another quick hug then headed towards the door, before she got out the door she turned around, “Love you mom.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Tobin rushed out the house, her heart immediately started to race when she saw Christen, “Hey, waiting long?”

“Only twenty minutes,” she answered with a big smile.

“Sorry,” Tobin smiled, “My mom was trying to bust me for curfew.”

“You have a curfew?” 

“No, but she forgot about that.” Tobin laughed, she put her bag in the trunk and resisted the urge to go over and kiss Christen. “My mom is not use to me being out all night.”

“You’ve never broken curfew?” Christen asked as they got in the car.

She smiled proudly, “Nope not even once. I am a good kid. Well I was a good kid, until you came around.”

“Tobin Heath, am I corrupting you?” Christen asked with a sly smile. 

“Maybe,” Tobin shrugged, “Or maybe I’ve been corrupt this whole time, you’re just bringing it out of me.”

She pressed her lips together and thought for a second. “I can handle that.”

They both started to crack up as they pulled out the driveway. Maybe she was right when she told her mom she was changing. Her mind was no longer on things like getting home in time to watch videos before she went to sleep, or to practice before it was too late to kick a ball against a fence. She wasn’t worried about a lot of things she use to be worried about, her thoughts were on her new friends and hanging out, and the next time she would get to see Christen. Maybe she was growing up.

 

They drove the the parking lot to meet the others. During the drive Christen was telling Tobin about the instructions her father gave her about the car. Christen borrowed her dads SUV, it was pretty big with enough room to fit everyone with plenty of leg room. They were picking up Hope, Mallory, Sam and Lindsey, so the car would be packed. 

As much as Tobin was excited to go on her first real road trip it didn’t really feel right without Meghan. They had done everything together since that one fateful day in summer daycare when Meghan sat down next to Tobin and offered her some animal crackers. The two of them had taken every big step in their lives together. They played soccer together, they learned to ride bikes together, they went to their first middle school dance together (even if they only sat in the corner eating pizza and never actually dance, or went to another dance after that) they spent almost every night together, at least talking to each other on the phone or texting. Taking the trip without her was weird, not having her there to talk to, or to fall back on made Tobin uneasy. When Meghan was around, if things got weird with other people, like they started talking about things Tobin had no clue about, Meghan was there to talk to. Tobin liked her new friends, they were awesome and loved soccer so it was easy to talk to them, but she had never been a group before. 

Meghan and Tobin had always been a duo, just them hanging out. One time in middle school a new girl came, and for some reason Tobin was chosen to show her around the school. The girl was nice enough, even though Tobin did a really bad job at showing her around, and she ate lunch with them for a week, but eventually found friends that talked about things other than soccer. It didn’t bother them, they were never bothered not having anyone but each other, they did best on there own. But now Tobin was in a group, and she had no idea how to be in a group. 

They pulled into the parking lot; Mallory and Lindsey were kicking a ball back and forth while Sam and Hope were talking against a car. Tobin looked out the window and felt herself start to get nervous. It was one thing to hang out on the field, knowing that they were going to play a game soon, Tobin could just sit there and get ready, but they were all about to be in a car, trapped for three to four hours, what the hell was she going to talk about. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Christen asked noticing her girlfriends face turn flush. 

Tobin looked over to her, “I uh… I don’t really know how to do this.”

She lowered her eyebrows a bit, “How to do what?”

“Be friends, like this, like in a group, with other girls, and talk about stuff,” her heart started to beat really fast. “I’m not really sure what to say.”

Christen gave her a soft smile, “You don’t really have to say anything, Lindsey will talk enough for the group probably.” She reached over and put her hand on Tobin leg. “Like I told you last night, everyone loves you, you don’t have anything to be nervous about.”

“I’m weird,” Tobin said quickly.

“True,” she laughed, “But it’s a fun weird, not an uncomfortable weird.”

“Thanks,” She laughed nervously. 

“Just be you Tobin, trust me, they already like you, I already like you…” She leaned over the center and kissed her, “A lot.”

Lindsey appeared in the drivers side window, “Is this why we’re waiting, you two are making out in here?”

Christen turned around, “Yup, and you’ll wait as long as I want.”

“Okay, but I’m watching.” Lindsey smiled. 

Christen shook her head and opened the door. “You’re a pervert.”

They got out the car and greeted each other. Everyone was pumped up, they threw their bags in the trunk and Christen, Hope and Sam started to plan the trip like responsible adults as the others kicked the ball around. Tobin was leaned against the car when Lindsey called out her name and kicked the ball towards her. Tobin trapped the ball and let it fall to her feet juggling a a few times before sending it to Mallory who started doing tricks, before she knew it she was in a game of keepy upy, and all her worries started to melt away. She may not have ever been in a group before, but these were her people, they wanted to play soccer, and talk about soccer, if there was something Tobin could fall back on, it was soccer, it never failed her. After the the responsible ones were satirized with their trip plans they all headed into the convenient store they had parked at, to get some road snacks. 

“Rules of road trip snacks, something salty, something sweet, and beef jerky.” Lindsey called out. 

Tobin followed Christen down the candy aisle and picked out a bag of Skittles and some pretzels. “I’ve got salty and sweet.” 

Christen grabbed a bag off the shelve, “I guess I’ve got the beef jerky.” She looked over at Tobin, “No way, you have to pick chocolate as the sweet snack.”

“Chocolate melts,” Tobin protest. “Skittles don’t melt.”

“Yeah but they are too sweet.” 

“I thought you liked sweet,” Tobin smiled, “I mean, I am sweet.”

Christen moved in close to her girlfriend, who was being surprisingly smooth, “You are sweet.” She said as she kissed her. 

Tobin was leaning into the kiss when she was hit in the head with something, she looked down to see a pack of gum on the floor, as she looked up she saw Sam and Lindsey giggling. “Did you just throw gum at me?”

“Yup, and it’ll keep happening if that keeps happening.” Lindsey called out. “No more smooshing faces together on this trip you two.”

Tobin looked at Christen who was smiling, this whole confidence things must have been catching on because Tobin leaned in and kissed her again, she wasn’t phased by another pack of gum hitting her in the head. Maybe she was changing, staying out late, hanging out with friends, kissing in a convenient store, this was a whole new Tobin, and she was pretty cool. 

They all paid for their snacks and headed out towards the car, if they were going to hang out after they got to Boston they needed to get going. 

“Shot gun!” Lindsey called out. 

“Yeah right,” Sam laughed, “There’s no way you’re getting shot gun, Chris is driving so Tobin is sitting shot gun.”

“What? Why?” Lindsey protested. 

“Because,” Sam said as the couple approached, “One, you suck and Tobin rules; and two Chris lurbes her.”

Christen started to laugh, “No, Lindsey not sitting up front because I refuse to listen to trap music the whole time.”

“So Tobin get’s to pick the music?” Lindsey cried.

“It’s what shot gun gets you.” Christen shrugged. 

Lindsey crossed her arms, “Next time, my girlfriend’s driving so I can be DJ.”

“If you can ever get one,” Tobin laughed. 

“Ohh snap,” Sam started to crack up. “The Tobster just burned you.”

Everyone started to laugh as Lindsey gave Tobin a punch in the arm. So maybe this was going to be okay after all. Tobin got in the car and synced her phone to the stereo, she scrolled through her phone trying to find the perfect song, she couldn’t blow it, she was really starting to get into this whole having friends thing, and music taste were a big part of this, if she was going to be cool, she needed to pick a cool song. As she scrolled through all the songs only she and Meghan liked, a bunch of Christian songs and a few Disney songs she settled on the perfect song and hit play. Two second in and everyone was singing along…

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?…”

 

—

 

The trip was a success, not a lot of traffic, and they only had to stop once to let Sam out to pee because she drank an entire Big Gulp in a hour. Tobin played DJ, mixing old hits with recent songs, and even a few that she didn’t think anyone would know, but someone always knew the lyrics and everyone always danced. Every few seconds Christen would look over to her and smile, like she was reassuring her that everything was going as well as she thought it was. The nerves that Tobin felt when they first met up with the group were all gone, with everyone singing and making jokes everything seemed so easy, the music even got turned down for a half hour to discuss the line up of the national team, something Tobin was able to talk about with ease. The whole car ride was just as Tobin had hoped a road trip would be, calm yet full of excitement, and full of great conversation, she was even okay with everyone cooing whenever Christen would reach over and hold her hand. In her head she kept thinking how great it was to have friends. 

When they pulled up to the hotel, they all jumped out of the car ready to run around. Keeping a bunch of soccer players in a car for three hours with no way to run or kick a ball is a recipe for disaster. As soon as they could Lindsey had a ball out and was kicking it around, Tobin quickly joined in passing it around the parking lot to Sam and Mallory. Hope was happy to leave the four of them outside while she and Christen checked in. 

 

“How are things going with Tobin?” Hope asked Christen as they walked into the front lobby. 

She was caught a little of guard by the question, didn’t it seem like everything was going great in the car? “Uh, great, Tobin is amazing.”

“Yeah?” Hope said with a smile, “As great as you thought?”

Christen looked back through the glass doors, watching Tobin balance the ball on her forehead as the others yelled for her to stop showing off and pass, “So much better.” She said with a huge smile. 

“Good, I am happy for you, Tobin is really awesome.” She said happily. 

Christen could tell that Hope really meant what she was saying. When Christen first moved here she didn’t have many friends hanging out with Lindsey made everything better, but finding Hope changed everything. Hope was older and more mature and talking to her kind of felt like talking to her older sister and her best friend at the same time. She could tell Hope things that she couldn’t tell anyone else, Hope was the only one that really knew how much she liked Tobin; to everyone else it was obvious Christen had a crush, but Hope knew the full extent. It was important to her that Hope liked Tobin, almost as important as it was for Allie to like her when they eventually met.

“I have a feeling we are going to be taking that ball away from them.” Hope laughed watching the four girls kicking the ball around just missing cars. 

Before either one of them could speak, Sam sent a ball way out of Tobin’s reach and hitting the car, luckily it was just the tire so there was no damage. Tobin looked over to Sam and pointed her finger saying something Christen could make out. Lindsey started to laugh and Sam was holding up her hands proclaiming her innocence. They all walked towards each other laughing and pointing to the car, soon they backed up so they were in a circle and started to play keep upy again.

“They’re children,” Christen laughed. 

“They’re toddlers,” Hope answered. 

Soon they had the two keys to the suite that Christen and Hope said they would hold onto, because the others couldn’t be trusted. They went out and got the other girls back in the car so they cold drive around to the back were the suite was. Everyone got out the car and ran towards the door with their bags dragging behind them. The suite was amazing with high ceilings and a huge common room including a kitchen. Everyone ran down the hallway and started to pick rooms, calming one of the other was the room they wanted, Hope was the responsible one making everyone come back and talk it out. 

“Okay so there is five rooms and there will be eleven of us come tomorrow night, so we need to split up evenly.” Hope said as everyone stood around with long faces. “Mal, you can stay with me since we’ll have to FaceTime your mom at night and in the morning. Sam and Lindsey you two can share, Chris and Tobin will share of course, then the other five can figure out what they want to do with the other two rooms, and who wants to sleep on the pull out couch out here.”

“I’ll text Kling now and see if one of them cares about sleeping on the couch.” Christen said quickly. 

Tobin watched her typing on her phone, she should have been the one texting her best friend but her mind was on one thing, she was sharing a room with Christen. What the hell was she going to do, there was no way she could share a room with her girlfriend and not freak the hell out. They were going to be in the room at night, in the bed, together. They were going to share a bathroom. She couldn’t share a bathroom with the girl she liked, that was impossible. She couldn’t sleep in the same bed as her. She couldn’t change in front of her. She could do anything in front of her. How the hell was this going to work? It wasn’t. She had to say something. She needed to scream, not loudly, just enough so everyone could tell she was not cool. 

_No Tobin don’t be a fool, bro. Don’t call yourself bro either that’s weird. We just need to think for like half a second. You are going to share a room with your girlfriend. A bed. That means sex. That’s what you want. Well it wasn’t what you wanted last night or the other night, or this morning, you made peace with that, but maybe now that there’s a bed maybe you should reconsider, after all when are you ever going to get this chance again. When are you every going to get to spend a night in the same bed as someone like Christen? Maybe in a few years down the line, when you two are married…. WOW Shut that down right now, marriage, dude, bro, bru, broski, the big broboski, nope nope nope, that has to stop. It’s just a bed. You spent the whole night with her last night in the car talking and just laying there, it’ll be just like that but in a bed with a blanket, and a pillow. You can do this. You can do anything, you’re the new and improved Tobin Heath._

“Babe?” Christen broke her out of her thoughts. 

“Yup?” Tobin said unsure of what was going on while her mind was virtually exploding.

Christen smiled, “We are taking the back room, is that okay.”

“Uh…” She looked down the hall, _that is far away, you have to walk all the way down the hall to get the the room that will have the bed that you will sleep in with Christen._

“Babe?” Christen said again.

“Yes?” She smiled nervously.

Christen lowered her eyebrows, “The back room is okay?”

“Sure.” Tobin said quickly. 

It didn’t matter what room it was, it was still a room with a bed that she was going to spend two nights in with Christen. It could be on the moon, or underwater, or on the sun, or wherever, it was always going have a bed, and she was going to always sleep in it with Christen, where their legs could touch. _Oh god, are our legs going to touch? Would it be weird it they did? Would it be weird if they didn’t? Should legs touch?_

“Tobin?” 

“They’re just legs.” Tobin said without thinking.

Christen looked at her girlfriend confused, “What?”

Tobin shook her head, “Uh, nothing… Not a thing.” She grabbed her bag off ground and flung it over her shoulder, she reached down and grabbed Christens bag and headed down the hallway.

_Okay, let’s try to not be a freak for like ten minutes. It’s just a bed, you can lay in a bed with her without touching legs, unless she wants to, then just do it. But you don’t have to do anything more than that. Christen already knows you’re not ready to have sex, at least that’s what you decided on last night, so let’s stick with that for now. Chris is literally the best person in history so she would never force you to do anything. You’re going to be in the room, and you’ll probably be so tired that you just fall asleep, nothing major. You can do this._

“Are you okay?” Christen asked as she shut the door behind them.

Tobin set the bags down on the bed and spun around to face her. “Can I be honest?”

“Of course,” she said moving closer to the obviously nervous girl.

“I didn’t think about the whole sharing a room thing,” She shoved her hands in her pockets to stop them from shaking, “It’s not that I don’t want to, it just caught me off guard.”

“Is that why you were talking about legs?” Christen laughed. 

“Yeah, that was weird huh?” She lowered her head.

Christen laughed, “Yeah it was, but it’s okay. We don’t have to share a room if it’s making you this nervous. JJ said she would stay on the couch, but I can stay out there if you want.”

“No,” Tobin yelled, a little too loudly, she took a deep breath, “No, don’t do that. I have just went through a very long dialogue in my head and convinced myself to do this. I can do this.”

Christen reached out grabbing Tobin’s arms, “You don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to do something just because you think it’s what you have to do, or what I want you to do. I want you to be comfortable.”

“I’m a nervous wreck,” Tobin said with a little chuckle, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this, it just doesn’t come as easy to me as it does to you.”

“Oh Tobin do you think this was an easy choice for me?” She started to laugh, “I talk about it for five minutes with Hope in the lobby, she had to calm me down before we went out the parking lot, and I saw you guys kick the ball into the car by the way.”

“That was Sam, and it was just the tire,” She answered quickly. “But, you were really nervous about this?”

She nodded, “Yeah, you make me nervous Tobin, but in a good way. You make my heart beat so fast I feel like it’s going to come out of my chest half the time. All I want is to be with you and make you happy.”

“I am happy,” she said with a smile, “I’m nervous, but I’m happy.”

“Okay then…” she rubbed her hands up and down Tobin’s arms. “Then let’s just be happy together, and we can figure all the _legs_ stuff out later.”

They pulled each other into a hug, holding tight. Tobin buried her face in Christen neck taking in that calming scent that she loved. It was so much easier knowing that Christen was nervous too, there was no way she was as nervous as Tobin, no one in the world was as nervous as she was, but it was nice knowing Christen felt a little bit of what she was feeling. Christen pulled away from the hug just enough so they could kiss, it started off slow but started to build as Tobin let Christen’s lips take away all the nerves she had. Maybe sharing a room as going to be great, after all they could do this the whole time and not worry about anything.

“Hey lovebirds, let’s get in the pool.” Lindsey yelled through the door, “Come on, stop making out, and let’s swim.”

“Okay, we are on our way,” Christen yelled out. She turned and looked at her girlfriend who’s cheeks were now red. “I guess we are swimming.”

Lucky for Tobin her girlfriend read her mind about the whole changing in front of each other thing and decided to change in the bathroom while Tobin changed in the room. Quickly Tobin stripped down pulling on the black swim suit bottoms and top, then put on her board shorts she bought the last time her family went to the shore, they were black and white with red stars and hung at mid thigh, she pulled on her tank top and sat on the bed waiting for Christen to come out. When the bathroom door open Tobin couldn’t help but stare. Christen had on a black tank top with the straps of her red suit peeking out, she had on jean shorts that hung low on her hips, but still showed off her long legs. Her hair was up in a messy bun showing off her long neck, and all Tobin could think about was how much she wanted to kiss her, she wanted to kiss her neck, she wanted to stay in this room and kiss her for the rest of the night. 

“Well, are we going?” Christen asked walking towards the door with a smile, she knew exactly what was going on in Tobin’s head, and she was prepared to tease her just a little more. “You know, the shorts come off at the pool.”

Tobin swallowed hard, there was no way she was going to be able to speak after that. She got up and followed behind Christen like a puppy, she was ready to do whatever she said as long as they got to the pool. 

Everyone was standing around in the common room waiting on them, of course Lindsey made a big deal about how long it took to get them out the room, and Christen made a comment about needing help getting dressed that made Tobin’s palms start to sweat. Everyone walked out the room and headed to the pool, Tobin dragging behind her girlfriend just waiting for a command, and if she was totally honest she was watching her walk in those shorts. 

The pool had a few people at it, everyone looked to be around their age which was cool. It was a pretty big pool, with a volleyball net at one end and a diving board at the other. The girls put their towels down on some chairs and started getting ready to dive in the water. Tobin watched as Christen pulled off her shirt and shorts showing off her long legs and perfectly toned stomach. She stood for a minute folding up her clothes and placing them perfectly on the chair with her flip flops, Tobin couldn’t take her eyes off her. 

Christen walked past her girlfriend and gave her a smile, “Are you getting in the pool babe?”

Tobin nodded her head. She watched as Christen got on the diving board did a few jumps then dived in. Her mind was blank, she couldn’t even process getting up and getting in the water, she could only think about how incredibly hot her girlfriend was. She was sure she looked like an idiot just sitting there, but she needed a few minutes to really wrap her head around the fact that Christen was really her girlfriend, that girl, that head turning girl was really hers. How the hell did she get so lucky?

Someone came over and sat next to Tobin, placing their finger under her chin and closing her mouth that had been open since they left the room. Tobin looked over and saw it was Sam.

“Sup, Tobs?” Sam asked with a little giggle. 

“Uh…” Tobin answered. 

“You wanna know the secret to dating a smoking hot chick?” Sam asked in her light voice, she watched Tobin nod, knowing the shocked girl was unable to speak, Sam continued to talk, “You have to accept that they’re hot… Accept it then move on, because if all you can do is drool over them, you’ll eventually get dehydrated.”

Tobin started to chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right Tobs.” Sam smiled then got up and jumped in the pool.

Sam was right, she couldn’t just sit around and stare at Christen all day, well she could and it would be fun, but not for anyone but her. One of the things that she really wanted to do on this trip was to make friends with everyone in the group, really become their friends, not just someone who they played soccer with, but real friends that she could talk to. She needed to get up and go have fun. She took off her tank top and board shorts and dived in the pool. 

 

Christen was at the edge of the pool talking to Hope when Tobin had finally gotten up to get in the pool. She watched her girlfriend take off her shirt and shorts and dive in.

“Hey Chris.” Hope wispered.

She turned to look at her friend, “What?”

“You’re drooling,” Hope laughed. 

Yeah she was drooling, and she didn’t care. The other night in the car she had felt those ab muscles under her hand, but seeing them, seeing Tobin’s tan skin in the sun was so much better than she could have imagined. She had decided a long time ago that Tobin was incredibly cute, and really hot; she decided the other night that Tobin was sexy, and she decided right now that she wanted her more than she ever thought. Maybe sharing a room and not being able to do anything was going to be more torturous than she originally thought. 

 

They spent an hour or so swimming and trying to dunk each other under the water. A couple of guys showed up and started to swim. They challenged the girls to a game of volleyball, Hope who couldn’t stop looking at one of the guys that had on a blue pair of swim trunks, decided for the group that they were going to play. 

No one knew how to play properly, they were soccer players, using their hands was not their strong suit, expect Hope who could spike the ball down with so much force it splashed everyone within a five feet of it. They guys were nice enough, they introduced themselves, but Tobin couldn’t remember any of their names, but they seemed nice. Soon the game ended, the girls getting crushed, and they decided to head out to find something to eat. 

“Hey why don’t you ladies come over to our suite, we can grill out or something.” One of the guys said. “We were going to do burgers and stuff tomorrow night, but we can do it tonight if ya’ll want to hang out some more.”

“Yeah, come hang out ladies,” One of the taller guys said with a huge smile, “It’ll be fun, we can play cards and have a few drinks.” 

Hope looked over to the other’s as if to ask what they thought, everyone shrugged, so she agreed. The group all went back to their suite to shower and change. Tobin let Christen shower in their bathroom and she took the one in one of the empty rooms. When she went back in the room Christen was putting on some make up, she looked through the mirror and saw Tobin with a anxious look on her face.

“What’s wrong babe?”

“Are you going to drink?” Tobin asked, “Those guys said there would be beer.”

Christen shrugged, “I don’t know, I’ll probably have a few drinks.” She turned to see Tobin, “Is that okay.”

“Yeah, that’s okay.” Tobin said quickly trying to make sure she didn’t seem lame, “I think I’ll have a few drinks too, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

She laughed a little, “Okay, well I’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll just wait out there with everyone else.” 

Tobin had no idea that Christen drank, she assumed that maybe she had before, but the way she was so casual about it meant she had done it plenty of times before and it didn’t bother her. As much as Tobin always wanted to be honest with Christen, she didn’t want to be lame and tell her that she had never drank before. Well that wasn’t true, she had drank before, one time at your aunts house when she drank some egg nog that tasted funny. Turned out she was drinking from the adult egg nog and it had rum in it, Tobin didn’t complain about the taste because she didn’t want to be rude. Four cups in and she threw up outside in the bushes, turns out the egg nog had a _lot_ of rum in it, she ended up passing out on the back porch. She woke up in her cousins room, and her parents had ‘the alcohol talk’ with her when she woke up. That was the first and only time she had ever drank, and she wasn’t really looking forward to doing it again, but she also wasn’t looking forward to being the only lame one in the group.

“Heads up Tobs,” Sam called out.

Tobin looked up just in time to catch a ball that was flying at her head, “Jeez where was that going?”

“Supposed to be down the hall, but I put too much spin on it,” Sam shrugged. 

“Well it’s a good thing I’m an excellent keeper,” Tobin laughed. 

She let the ball drop onto her foot and sent it towards Sam who trapped it and sent it towards Mallory who missed the pass and the ball knocked some plastic cups off the counter in the kitchen. Christen came out just as the cups fell.

“Okay, I’m taking the ball from you four until we are outside. Soccer is banned indoors.” Christen said going to the kitchen and picking up the ball.

“That was Mal’s fault, ban her.” Lindsey called out.

“What?” Mallory protested, “Sam’s pass was way out of reach, ban her.”

“That pass was perfect…”

“Soccer is banned indoors.” Christen said giving them all a stern look, before walking down the hall to put the ball away.

Lindsey punched Tobin in the arm, “Hey, get your girlfriend to give us the ball back.” She whispered. 

“No way, she’s mad,” Tobin shook her head, “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

They all stood in the common room, the four pouting because they didn’t have the ball to play with and Christen standing with her hands on her hips like and angry parent. They were all waiting on Hope so they could get going. As Hope walked out her room everyone started to hoot and holler, she was in a pair of tight jean shorts and a low cut top, her make up done and her hair up. 

“What?” She smiled, “They guy in the blue shorts was really hot.”

“Well Mal, you might have your own room tonight, Hope is finding another bed to sleep in.” Lindsey laughed. 

“Oh shut up.” Hope said pushing her off the arm of the couch. 

Tobin looked around the room, Hope was the only one really dressed up, everyone else was in shorts, granted Christen was in some short black shorts and blue deep v-neck shirt, but it was innocent enough. Tobin thought about the group and it occurred to her that Hope was the only one who was really interested in any of those guys. Christen was obviously not interested in them, Lindsey was totally into Sam, according to Christen; Sam was still making up her mind about Lindsey and Mallory was too young, and Tobin had zero interest in boys, so Hope was the only one who cared about looking hot, and she did look hot. 

They all walked over to the suite, the guys were standing around the grill all of them wearing pale colored shorts and long tank tops with a beer in their hands. They called over to the group of girls as the walked over, and Tobin saw the look in all their eyes, suddenly she felt it very necessary to stick by Christen. 

“You lady’s want some beers?” One of the boys asked.

“Yeah I’ll take one.” Hope said with a smile

Christen went to the cooler, “You only have Budlight? Come on where’s the Coronas?”

“Budlight is cheep,” They guy at the cooler smiled at her, “But we can get you whatever you want.”

With a smile she grabbed a beer and opened it taking a sip, “I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble, this will do.”

The guy flashed her a big smile, “Trust me, nothing I do for you is trouble.”

“I bet.” She winked then bent over to grab another beer and headed over to the group of girls hanging Tobin the beer, “Here babe.”

Tobin didn’t want to feel like a complete loser so she went over and grabbed the blue can from her girlfriend and popped the lid. She took a sip and wanted to spit it out, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves so she swallowed hard and decided not to think about the taste. 

Mallory went over to the cooler, and Hope grabbed the beer, “Woo, Little Bit, I can’t let you drink.”

“But…”

“Nope,” Hope said in a stern voice. “Hey everyone, this is Mallory and she’s sixteen.” All the guys eyes dropped, “Yeah, that’s right.” She reached in the cooler and grabbed a sprite handing it to Mallory, “You’ll thank me when your mom calls tonight and you aren’t slurring your words.”

“Fine,” Mallory pouted, “But you’re so uncool.”

“I’m okay with that.” Hope smiled. 

All the guys in the group stood around drinking beer waiting for their chance to talk to the girls. Hope was the only one cool enough to go up to the guy she thought was cute and start talking. Before things could get really awkward one of the guys brought out a deck of cards and asked if anyone could play poker. No one could play poker, but two of the guys could play spades and that happened to be Tobin’s specialty so she sat down at the table with Sam who claimed to be decent at the game and they started to play. 

As the game started Christen pulled up a chair next to Tobin, “So how do you play?”

“It’s pretty simple really, the object of the game is to get books…” She started to explain as she played. 

The game was going well, Tobin was whispering rules to Christen as they played, turned out Sam was more than decent so the girls pulled out ahead pretty quickly. The small get together was going well, Hope was talking to the guy that was grilling, doing her best at flirting, which was working because the guy seemed to be paying more attention to Hope than the grill. Mallory was glued to Sam’s side after she had been sidelined from talking to any of the guys. They learned the guys were all 19 and 20 except the one Hope was talking to, he was 21 and he bought all the beer. One of the guys was talking with Lindsey, he was into soccer so they were discussing who was going to when the Algarve Cup this year. Tobin was comfortable with Christen by her side, and playing a game she knew she could win. 

The sips of beer started to get easier as the night went on, Tobin couldn’t even taste the flavor anymore, it was like drinking a soda. Before the burgers were even done, Tobin had finished the first beer, and Christen brought her another which she finished with ease. The game was getting intense when the guy at the grill who’s name Tobin couldn’t remember to save her life, was calling about the burgers being done. The guys at the table called for him to bring them a burger, stating they couldn’t leave to table. Tobin was going to get up when Christen put her hand on her leg.

“Stay here baby, I got it,” Christen said sweetly.

Tobin looked over to her and smiled, “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” She said leaning in and kissing her, she tasted like beer, but it was still nice. 

Tobin watched as she got up and headed towards the food. Sam asked for a burger and Christen happily said yes. When she was out of ear shot one of the guys spoke up. 

“That’s your girl?” He asked with a smile. 

Tobin looked over to him, “Uh, yeah.”

“She’s gorgeous,” He said lightly, “At least she sits with you, my boyfriend is over there talking about soccer, of course.”

Tobin looked over to the guy with Lindsey, “That’s your boyfriend?”

“Yeah those two are total fruits together.” The other guy laughed. 

“Shut up.” He laughed, “Dave is just jealous because he can’t get a girl.”

“Oh I can get a girl.” The guy, now officially named Dave, said. “Maybe not one as hot as your girl, which I am extremely upset that you two are a thing.”

Tobin started to laugh, “Sorry dude.”

Tobin started to loosen up, it was a lot easier talking to these guys knowing they the two were gay and their friends were cool about it, and knowing the other guys knew to stay away from Christen. She had always been better at talking to guys anyway. She learned the other guys name was Bobby and his boyfriend was Mark, and they guy talking to hope was AJ. 

Christen came back with burgers and another beer. Tobin ate happily, talking more to the guys about the game, sports and other stuff, really they were talking about nothing but Tobin was extremely relaxed. 

“So all of you play soccer?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, me, Sam and Lindsey all play mid, well Lindsey plays up a lot. And Mal and Chris are forwards. And Hope is a keeper.” Tobin explained pointing to everyone. 

Dave nodded his head, “Man, soccer girls are hot. I need to go to this game tomorrow.”

“You don’t even like soccer,” Bobby laughed.

“Yeah but I like soccer girls, especially if they look like you ladies.”

Sam laughed, “I like to think we’re extra hot.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin cheered holding her beer in the air. 

Christen leaned in and whispered in her ear, “I think you are extra hot.” She planted a kiss on her ear. 

The flustered girl didn’t get a chance to react, Christen was up and clearing the table of empty plates and beer cans. Tobin turned around and watched her walk away, staring at her every step she took. How in the world was she this hot?

“Tobs,” Sam laughed, “Tobito?”

“Huh?” Tobin asked peeling her eyes off her girlfriend. 

“You gonna play a card, or just stare at Chris?”

Tobin shook her head, “Honestly I have no idea.”

The group started to laugh. Tobin had no idea it was this easy to get flustered, but Christen seemed to know every single move to make her head spin. Maybe she wasn’t ready to have sex the other night, but the longer she watched Christen bending over grabbing drink from the cooler, in those short black shorts, the more she thought she was ready for whatever the hell that girl wanted her to do.

Christen came back and put another beer in front of her, then slipped her hand under the table and grabbed Tobin’s thigh. That was all she really needed, she was completely thrown, her mind was not in the game, it was on her girlfriends thumb making circles on her leg. Her focus was on the way Christen smiled, the way her eyes were a dark grey in this low light, the single lock of hair that didn’t quite make it into the messy bun. Tobin didn’t want to be at the table playing cards anymore, she wanted to be in their room in that bed, but first she had to pee. 

As she tried to stand up, she quickly felt dizzy and had to sit back down, “Woo, man.” Tobin laughed.

“Too much to drink Tobin?” Dave asked with a chuckle. 

Tobin started to laugh, “Nah, just stood up too fast.” She started to stand again.

Christen stood up with her. “You sure you’re okay babe, we can head back to the room.”

Tobin leaned in and kissed her. “Nope, I am fine, I just need to pee.”

She walked into he boys suite and found a bathroom. She tried to remember how many beers she had, and if it was enough to be drunk. It only took four of the spiked egg nog to knock her on her ass, how many beers would it take. She had drank four, maybe five, maybe more, she wasn’t sure, she just knew Christen was bringing them and she was drinking them, but she wasn’t really counting, but she was pretty sure it was five.

She looked in the bathroom mirror and saw how blood shot her eyes were, that was a sign. _Right?_ She was dizzy and her body felt a little weightless, that was a sign. _Right?_

“Okay Tobin, you can do this.” She said into the mirror. “Just cut yourself off and drink some water. They said that in school, if you get drunk then drink water, never coffee, why never coffee? Coffee just keeps you awake, doesn’t help with being drunk, you’ll just be drunk and awake, and the best thing to do when you are drunk is to go to sleep in a safe place. Right, yeah if you can remember that then you must not be as drunk as you think. Or at least that’s a rule, right? Whatever, the point is, drink water, sit down and chill the hell out.”

She washed her hands and stepped out of the bathroom, Christen was standing outside waiting for her. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Tobin smiled, “I’m fine.”

“You sure, because you were talking to yourself.”

Tobin looked back in the bathroom in the mirror, “Welp, you caught me.” She started to giggle, “I usually say all that stuff in my head, I guess my inside thoughts became my outside words.”

Christen laughed and put her arm around Tobin’s shoulder. “Okay let’s get you some water and just ‘chill the hell out.’”

They sat down at the table where Lindsey had found her way into Tobin’s seat and taken her spot in the game, which Tobin didn’t care about because she wasn’t sure she could focus on the cards anyway. Mark had come to table and sat next to his boyfriend, he said about soccer and Tobin was off to the races. For the next thirty minutes she didn’t shut up about the sport, analyzing almost every player she could think of, hoping from national team to regional teams talking about strategy and line ups. She was met word for word by Mark who was just as into the game as she was. Soon they were both up barefoot and kicking a ball around in the grass patch next to the building, still talking back and fourth about the sport. Playing soccer intoxicated wasn’t her best idea because her foot eye coordination was way off, drunk Tobin was not a good soccer player. She kicked the ball and it ended up in a bush, and she started to laugh.

Bobby leaned over to Christen, “Should we let them keep going?” 

Christen watched Tobin laugh as she tried to balance the ball on forehead but it kept rolling off. “Maybe we should get them.”

The group decided to pack up, everyone had something to do early in the morning, but they all promised to hang out tomorrow night when the girls got home from the game. Tobin hadn’t noticed everyone getting ready to go, she was too focused on soccer, it wasn’t until Christen came and wrapped her arms around her waist that she stopped kicking the ball.

“Come on babe, it’s late,” Christen said sweetly.

“Okay, but can we just…”

Christen kissed her neck, “Come on Tobs, let’s get in bed.”

There was no way she was going to argue with that. She said good night to Mark and promised to come back tomorrow night and finish their talk about the N.Y. RedBulls line up. She followed behind Christen letting the girl pull her by her hand until the met up with the other girls halfway down the parking lot. 

“Those guys were cool!” Tobin yelled. 

Sam laughed. “Why are you talking so loudly?”

“Ami talkin loud?” Tobin asked looking around at everyone. 

Christen wrapped her arm around Tobin’s, “Yeah babe, you’re really loud.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” She whispered even though it was still kind of a yell, “Is dis better?”

“Sure,” Christen said kissing her girlfriends cheek. 

Everyone was laughing at Tobin as they made their way back to the suite. They all stood around the kitchen as Christen forced Tobin to drink a glass of water. Tobin sat on the counter not wanting to stand anymore and tried to drink as fast as she could because she was ready to go to sleep.

“So now we know Toby is a light weight,” Sam laughed. 

“Whassa light weight?” Tobin asked, water dripping out of her mouth. 

“Babe, finish swallowing before you talk.” Christen said wiping the water from her chin. 

“A light weight is someone like you who get’s drunk off three beers,” Lindsey laughed. “Have you drank before?”

Feeling a little self conscious about it Tobin lowered her head, “No, I mean I uh, did once get superduper drunk off egg nog this one time at muh aunts house, buhdat was a total accident, my mom was UN-HAPPY.” She said swinging her arm out in front of her and cracking a smile, “And I had five beers tonight, buroooh, not three”

“That’s a lot,” Christen said shocked, “Why did you drink five?”

“You…” She said touching her finger to Christens nose. “You kept givin me beers, so I kept drinken em.”

Christen smiled and kissed her cheek, “I’m sorry babe, I should have cut you off.”

“Yeah maybe we wouldn’t have to listen to an hour long comparison of Messi and Ronaldo.” Mallory said with a yawn.

Christen pulled Tobin off the counter, “Don’t worry babe, I enjoyed your five point compare and contrast of Messi and Ronaldo. Finish that glass so we can get in bed.”

Everyone headed to their rooms, Christen pulling Tobin along to the back room. 

“Remember Chris, lay her on her side incase she pukes.” Lindsey called out. 

“I’m not gonna to puke,” Tobin shouted, she turned her head to Christen and tried to whisper “I’m not gonna to puke babe, I promise.”

“I believe you,” Christen laughed pushing her towards the door. 

They got in the room and Christen made Tobin sit on the bed and she went through her bag, “Where are your pajamas.”

“I dun needem,” Tobin said pulling off her shirt, she was in a black sports bra. She stood up and took off her shorts, not worried at all about Christen seeing her in her boxer briefs. 

Christen watched her walked over to the bed, “Pizza slices huh?” She commented on the briefs her girlfriend was wearing. 

“Yup, erryone loves pizza, Right!” Tobin laughed as she fell into bed, “Ya like pizza?”

“I do like pizza,” Christen laughed walking over to her girlfriend who was now tucking herself in bed, “Do you need me to put the trash can by your bed incase you throw up?”

“Nah, I won’t puke, that’s embarrassin, and I can’t… I **can not** embarrass myself wif you.” She laughed really hard, “I need ya to like me for a looong time.”

Christen chuckled, “Okay, babe, then get some sleep and I’ll be here in the morning.”

“Hey Chrissy,” Tobin said, half her face buried in her pillow.

Christen leaned down, “Yeah?”

“You’re like…. Da greatest in da whole entire world.” She laughed a little, “Like dagreatestever. I… I got **No Clue** how I got ya….Cause ya know what… You’re pretty… And… I like you.”

“You’re pretty and I like you too,” Christen said, then leaned over and kissed her forehead. 

“You smell ggrreeatt.” Tobin blurted out before finally falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Great! Do you want some fluffy Talex action? Read the next chapter!!!


	20. Alone Together (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes to church with Tobin and learns a little more about her girlfriend. They go back to Tobin's house and spend some alone time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took this long to update, my job is stressful as hell and to be honest I was a little down for a few months. I have been away from my wife and puppers for almost eight months now, so I fell into some sadness, but I am okay now and ready to write. Hopefully the next chapters will be out soon.
> 
> This is the Alex Chapter, if you wanted some Preath, you gotta go back a chapter. If not, then read on and enjoy

**Alex:** what are you doing tonight?  
**Tobin:** I'm going to bed early, I have church in the morning.  
**Alex:** what? Church is on Sundays.  
**Tobin:** lol true, but I work Sundays so I go church on Thursdays.  
**Alex:** Sooo, you can't be talked into hanging out for a few hours?  
**Tobin:** Nope. Sorry babe.  
**Alex:** Wow your girlfriend is asking you out late at night and you’re turning her down for church, must be important.  
**Tobin:** yeah I guess it is.  
**Alex:** Can I come?  
**Tobin:** To church?  
**Alex:** yeah?  
   
Tobin thought for a second. She had never brought anyone to church before, usually she went with her family, but now everyone went at random times and she found herself sitting in the pew alone. Being alone in church never bothered her, she kind of enjoyed not getting looks from her mom when her attention would waver a bit, but she had never thought to ask anyone to go with her, and definitely not Alex. Her girlfriend wasn't exactly the church type, she was fidgety and talked a lot, all things frowned upon in church. Alex also had no real concept of a whisper whenever she thought something was funny, Tobin could just imagine the looks she'd get from the regulars when Alex started to laugh at something. But with all that, Alex was also sweet, respectful and mature, so maybe she could handle it. Maybe she should go to church, maybe it could become a thing for them, something they could do together. It never bothered Tobin that Alex wasn't religious, nothing like that would stop her from wanting to be with her, but it would be cool to share it with her. The more Tobin thought about it, the more she liked the idea of Alex tagging along.  
   
**Tobin:** Sure, if you want to.  
**Alex:** I do!  
**Tobin:** Okay, I'll pick you up at 7.  
**Alex:** In the morning?  
**Tobin:** Haha yes. Mass starts at 8, we need to be in place by 7:45.  
**Alex:** There's not a later one, by any chance?  
**Tobin:** Nope! See you in the morning. Wear something nice.  
**Alex:** what's nice?  
…  
…  
**Alex:** Tobin Heath? What's nice?  
…  
…  
**Alex:** TOBIN HEATH!!  
…  
...  
**Tobin:** Night babe :)  
**Alex:** Ughh night.  
   
\--  
   
   
Tobin was up earlier than usual, the idea of Alex coming to church buzzing in her head. She got up and took a shower, a lot longer than usual, carefully washing her hair, and shaving her legs as carefully as possible. They may have been going to church but they were going to hang out after and, ever since the parking lot, Tobin wanted to be prepared for Alex possibly breaking her rule and speeding up their journey to having sex. But not right this second, right now she needed to focus on church.  
   
After ironing her pants and the nice white shirt she picked out, she put on her cloths then put her hair up in a respectable bun. The entire drive she had a smile on her face, how could she not? She was about to share one of the most important aspects of her life with the person that was becoming one of the most important people in her life.  
   
She parked and waited outside. Alex stepped out her door in a summer dress with light blue and pink flowers all over, her hair was down and a little wavy She had on a little more make up than usual, but she was wearing her low top white converse. Classic Alex style, beautiful but also totally cool.  
   
“Wow, you look beautiful,” Tobin said, her mouth hanging open a little.  
   
Alex did a little spin, her dress floating, “Thank you, it's not too much?”  
   
“No, it's just enough.” Tobin reached out and put her arm around Alex's waist, pulling her in close. “You're prefect.” She leaned in and kissed her.  
   
Alex smiled into the kiss, placing her hands on Tobin's shoulders. “You're not so bad yourself.”  
   
Tobin laughed a little, “Thanks, but it's nothing compared to you.”  
   
“I'm just shocked you don't have a backwards snapback on,” Alex giggled.  
   
Tobin shrugged. “It’s in the back seat.”  
   
They got in the car and started to drive. Alex reached over and put her hand on Tobin’s thigh. The more time they spent together the more comfortable Alex got, but it didn’t really feel like she was becoming comfortable, it was more like she was remembering how comfortable she had always been. With every other person she dated, she would slowly open up and start to get comfortable, but with Tobin it was like she had always felt this way, but she had just forgotten and now she was remembering. With Tobin, nothing was forced, nothing ever felt off. Every moment they shared felt new and familiar, like she was experiencing it for the first time but also reliving it. She could talk freely, she could be herself without a worry, because Tobin liked who she was, not who she pretended to be, but exactly who she was. No fog, no blurry photos, no water on the mirror, just exactly who she was.  
   
“So what do I have to look forward to at church?” Alex asked with a big smile. “What do we do?”  
   
Tobin gave her a big smile. “Well, we will pray and sing hymns and listen to Father Nicolas’ sermon.”  
   
“Interesting,” Alex said with a little laugh. “And what will we do after we do all that.”  
   
“I don’t know,” Tobin said with lowered eyebrows. “What would you like to do?”  
   
“Waffles,” Alex smiled.  
   
Tobin let out a little laugh, “Waffles sounds good.”  
   
They talked the rest of the way to church, Tobin explained some of the unique things about her church. She told Alex about some of the people that attended the Thursday service and what to expect, and she emphasized that they needed to act like just friends while they were there. After all, it was her family church and it was full of gossipers. They parked in the parking lot and Alex turned to look at Tobin with a serious look.  
   
“What’s up?” Tobin asked.  
   
“Can I kiss you?” Alex asked. “Really quickly, ever since you said I had to be on my best behavior I can’t stop thinking about kissing you. If we have to go a whole hour being just ‘best friends’ I’m going to need a kiss to get me through. I think maybe you do too.”  
   
“You’re a child,” Tobin giggled.  
   
“At heart,” Alex answered with a huge smile.  
   
Tobin looked around making sure no one was in the parking lot before she leaned over and kissed her girlfriend. She felt Alex push hard against her lips, almost like she needed to put as much as she could into the kiss before they had over an hour of not being able to touch.  
   
“I needed that,” Alex smiled.  
   
Tobin pulled back a little, “Yeah I think I did too.”  
   
“Told ya!” Alex said popping up in her seat. “Now let’s go get our church on.”  
   
Tobin laughed as she got out of the car. As Alex got closer to her, she almost reached out and took her hand, but her brain caught up with the now almost automatic motion before she could make the mistake. They walked together, Alex ‘accidentally’ bumping into her every few steps, until they got to the church steps.  
   
As they walked into the church, Alex was in awe of how beautiful it was. The ceiling was tall and ornately decorated with wood carvings. The stain glass windows let colorful light into the large building. Up front, large steps lead to the alter that had lit candles surrounded by gold all sitting on a pure white cloth. It was amazing, Alex immediately saw the aesthetic of coming to church. She followed Tobin to the middle of the rows and they scooted in. Sitting down on the dark wood, Alex continued to look around as Tobin settled into her normal routine, picking up her bible and dog earring the pages the sermon would be read from.  
   
Two minutes into sitting down, Tobin was popping up, shaking the hand of an older lady with completely white hair and pale skin. “Good morning Mrs. Thomas, it’s good to see you.”  
   
“It’s good to see you too Tobin, I missed you last Thursday,” the woman responded in a shaky voice.  
   
She nodded almost apologetically, “Yeah, I missed last Thursday, I was just tired from work.”  
   
“You know that’s no excuse,” she said with a little smile. “Who’s your friend?”  
   
Tobin turned to Alex. “This is Alex, we went to school together.”  
   
“Oh how nice,” She said with a big smile. She reached out and took Alex’s hand. “Nice to meet you.  
   
“Thank you,” Alex said with a soft smile. “Nice to meet you too.”  
   
“I hope you enjoy the service today,” Mrs. Thomas said.  
   
Alex looked over to Tobin for a split second before responding. “I’m sure I will. I am really looking forward to it.”  
   
“I’m going to go sit in my seat,” she said happily. “I better see you next Thursday, Tobin, or I will call your mother.”  
   
Tobin chuckled, “Yes ma’am.”  
   
They watched the old lady slowly walk to her seat. Alex sat down and leaned over to Tobin. “Who was that?”  
   
“Mrs. Thomas, she’s been going to church here for like ever, she goes to service every day.” Tobin responded. “She tried to set me up with her grandson a while back.”  
   
“Oh really?” Alex wiggled her eyebrows. “Was he cute?”  
   
Tobin laughed. “Yeah, but he wasn’t my type.”  
   
“And who is your type?”  
   
“Well, there is this girl…”  
   
“Oh yeah, is she awesome?”  
   
“She’s alright.”  
   
Alex laughed, giving her a little push. “You’re crazy.”  
   
The service started and Tobin grabbed her bible, opening it up to the pages she was told to. Alex just watched everything happen, amazed by the concentration of her girlfriend. Alex wasn’t really sure what was going on, but she stood up when everyone stood up, sat down when everyone sat, and kneeled when told to do so. She had prayed before, never really anything intense, she wasn’t much of a prayer person, but when they knelt down and the priest told them to pray and give thanks, she found herself closing her eyes and thanking God. It was simple, the only thing she really wanted to thank Him for; silently, she thanked God for Tobin.  
   
Before they knew it, church was over and they were walking out towards the car. Tobin was stopped a few times by some of the other parishioners, mostly older people happy to see her and asking about her family. Eventually, they made it the car. Alex reminded her about the waffles she was promised and they made the ten minute drive to a local breakfast house and sat down.  
   
“So did you like it?” Tobin asked, playing with the straw in her orange juice.  
   
“Yeah, I did,” Alex answered with a smile. “It was nice. A lot more standing and sitting then I was prepared for, but it was nice.”  
   
Tobin chuckled, “Yeah, that’s the Catholics for you, a lot of standing, and sitting and kneeling.”  
   
Alex watched as Tobin folded her straw wrapper a few times, she wanted to ask a question but she didn’t know how Tobin would take it. “Can I ask you something?”  
   
She looked up at her. “Of course.”  
   
Alex took a deep breath. “How come you didn’t do the community thing towards the end.”  
   
She lowered her eyebrows. “Community?”  
   
“Yeah, when you go up front and eat the wafer and drink the wine.”  
   
Tobin giggled, “You mean communion.”  
   
“Yeah, that. How come you didn’t do that?”  
   
Tobin gave her a somber look. “Because I can’t.” she paused for a few seconds as if she was trying to figure out how to explain it. “Gay people can’t take communion.”  
   
“What?” Alex almost shouted. She lowered her voice, “What do you mean?”  
   
“It’s part of the rules,” Tobin shrugged. “You can be gay and be a catholic and you can take communion if you do not participate in any kind of gay activities.  But if you do, then you can’t take communion.”  
   
“That’s a shitty rule,” she blurted out. She watched Tobin’s eyebrows knit together, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”  
   
“No, you’re right,” Tobin interrupted her. “It’s a shitty rule, but it’s the rule. The moment I started ‘doing gay things’ I am no longer allowed to do something I have been doing my whole life.”  
   
“Wait, does that mean this is my fault? Am I your ‘gay activity?’”  
   
“Technically yes, but it’s no one’s fault.” Tobin reached over the table and took Alex’s hands. “This is not a ‘fault’ thing. It’s a stupid old fashion rule that needs to be changed. Please don’t worry about it.”  
   
Alex lowered her head, she wanted to protest, she wanted to make a big deal out of it, but by the look on Tobin’s face, this wasn’t something she wanted to talk about. Alex squeezed the hand in hers. “I’m sorry, babe. Other than that, church was nice, peaceful.”  
   
Tobin smiled. “Yeah I always feel calm when I go. I use to go just because my parents forced me to go, but the older I got the more I realized how much I enjoy it. Every time I attend church I always learn something new, or I get an answer to a question I didn't know I had. It seems like God always gives me what I am looking for even if I don't know I'm looking for it. I try to make sure I go once a week, and not just because my mom pesters me, but because I love it, it's a part of me.”  
   
“Except last Thursday apparently,” Alex chuckled, “The old lady is going to snitch on you.”  
   
Tobin started to laugh, “I know right.” She looked over at Alex who had a smile on her face. “I was really hoping you'd like it, and maybe you'll want to go again sometime.”

She knew those words meant a lot to Tobin, inviting someone to something that meant so much to her. Alex wasn't religious, she didn't really put much stock into church or angels or anything like that but Tobin believed, and she wanted to share it with Alex, and that was enough.

“Yeah I'd love to go again,” Alex said. Sweetly, she asked, “Is there one in the late afternoon?”

Tobin laughed out loud. “Nope, I'm afraid your stuck with early mornings.”  
   
Soon their food came and the subject changed from church to the trip they were about to go on. Alex was going on and on about Boston and how much fun it was going to be. Tobin felt nervous about the whole thing, she had never been on an overnight trip that didn’t have fifty adults watching their every move. They always took a soccer trip at the end of the year to watch a professional game in New York or Pennsylvania and they would get to stay overnight in a nice hotel, but everyone was monitored. Now she was the adult, now she could do whatever she wanted, and if she was being honest with herself, her mind was on one thing, Alex and being alone in a bed with her.  
   
When they finished breakfast, they headed to the car. As they walked, Tobin took Alex’s hand, it was nice to just walk with her, not worried about anything. It was nice to just spend time with her, and they had the whole day together, nothing to distract them. Meghan and the rest of their friends were already on their way to Boston, Becks, Morgan and JJ were still at work, so it left the two of them all alone. Tobin thought about it, they could spend all day wandering around town just hanging out, or they could go somewhere they could really be alone.  
   
“Do you want to go to my house?” Tobin asked.  
   
Alex gave her a curious look, “What about your family?”  
   
Tobin shrugged, “My mom and dad are at work, and they will probably be late tonight. Jeff is at a friends house for a few days, and Perry comes and goes, but she already knows about you.”  
   
Alex got a sly smile on her face, she knew what her girlfriend was trying to do. “So you’re saying we’ll have the house to ourselves?”  
   
“Pretty much yeah, until about eight when my parents get home.” She tried to look innocent, but she knew Alex was reading her like a book. “We can just hang out, watch some movies or something.”  
   
“Or something.” Alex laughed.  
   
The drive was quick, they weren’t far from Tobin’s house and Tobin was driving faster than normal. Her mind was racing. After all, she had a bed, and the house was empty, and Alex looked amazing in that dress. She heard her girlfriend talking about different things, but as always, Alex never really needed a second person there to have a full conversation, so Tobin tuned in and out of what she was talking about and tried to focus on being alone with her.  
   
The car in the park on Tuesday was a disaster. Everything was moving so fast, Tobin had no idea what was going on. Alex was in a rush and wanted all the right things, but for the wrong reasons. As much as Tobin was disappointed in how everything ended up, she was relieved. She wanted to be with Alex, she wanted to do all of that, but Alex was right, she didn’t want it in the front seat of a car, and she wanted it because they were both ready, not because Alex was upset.

   
They made it to the house, and Tobin’s nerves kicked into overdrive. She was still excited, and ready, well kind of ready, more ready than she was Tuesday night, but maybe not fully ready, or something… _god, make up your mind Heath._  
   
Alex could sense the nerves coming from her girlfriend. Tobin had been confident with her invite, but she was now rethinking the whole thing, it was going to be up to Alex to calm her down again.  
   
“What movie do you want to watch?” Alex asked as they got out the car.  
   
Tobin snapped out of her trance “Uh- I don’t know, whatever you want. My dad’s collection is pretty good.”  
   
“Do you have some clothes I can change into?” She asked sweetly.  “As much as I like my dress, I don’t want to lounge around in it.”  
   
Tobin nodded as she put the key in the front door. “Uh- yeah I have some stuff.”  
   
They walked into the house together and Alex stopped to look around. The house was exactly how she imagined Tobin’s home would be, comforting and simple. It smelled like lavender, probably one of those plug-in’s everyone loved so much. It was clean, with everything in a certain place. It reminded her of her own house, except there were a few crosses hanging on the walls, and instead of a chocolate lab running towards her, a giant German Shepard came barreling down the stairs and tackled Tobin.  
   
“Striker, what were you doing upstairs?” Tobin laughed as the big dog licked her cheek. “Probably getting into trouble.” She turned to Alex and smiled. “He’s a trouble maker.”  
   
Alex grinned. “Yeah he seems like a lot of trouble.”  
   
“Don’t let him fool you, he’s a vicious guard dog, trained to protect me from anyone he thinks is dangerous. Right Strikes?” The big dog barked in her face then licked her cheek.  
   
Alex held out her hand for the dog to smell, then gave him a quick scratch behind the ears before Striker moved his head so he could lick her hand. “Good guard dog, you got there.”  
   
“That’s because he doesn’t see you as a threat,” Tobin laughed.  
   
As they headed up the stairs, Alex looked at the pictures that lined the stairway. She had known Tobin practically her entire life, yet all the pictures she saw hanging on the wall showed a different Tobin. She remembered the Tobin in each photo, the young one with giant glasses and a big goofy smile. She remembered Tobin at graduation. She even remembered the really young photo of her at their elementary school graduation when they were forced to wear tiny caps and gowns. All of the photo’s showed a phase in Tobin’s life that Alex remembered, but wished she had really been a part of. She wished she really knew the girl in all the photos.  
   
Tobin’s room was the first one they got to in the long hallway. Her door had a giant soccer ball on it, typical Tobin. Her room was exactly how Alex had imagined it, but also different from what she thought it would be. The paint was a light blue with white trim. She had a bookshelf filled with messy books and sports magazines. She had a poster on her wall, it was old and had a few rips in the corners, it was Paramore with all four original members and a really young orange haired Hayley. On the other side of the room was a more recent poster of PVRIS that looked like it was hung up a little while ago because there was an outline of another poster that the new one didn’t quite cover.  
   
“What use to be there?” Alex asked, pointing to the shadow around the new poster.  
   
Tobin looked over at the spot. “Mia Ham, but Striker and I got too rowdy a month ago and it got torn down.”  
   
Alex chuckled. “Nice. I didn’t know you listened to PVRIS.”  
   
“Yeah,” Tobin said, shocked her girlfriend knew who the band was. “I just started to a few months ago. Kling had me listen to a song and I’ve been pretty addicted ever since.”  
   
“I know what you mean,” Alex said, nodding her head. “Lynn Gun is something else.”  
   
She continued to look around, she wanted to know more about her girlfriend. From her room, Alex could tell Tobin was a little disorganized and laid back, but nostalgic. She had a few other pictures around the room, magazine clippings of soccer players, and the WNT gold medal win picture. The mirror over her dresser was lined with pictures of her and Meghan. Alex walked over and started to look at all of them. While she enjoyed seeing pictures of Tobin, her big smile and messy hair, it also made her kind of sad. She wished she was in the photos with her, she wished Tobin’s arm was around her, that she was the one to make her smile that way. If only she would have gotten over her fears in high school, this amazing relationship could have started sooner, she could have been happy with Tobin sooner.  
   
“Oh god, don’t look at those.” Tobin laughed, coming up behind her girlfriend.  
   
Alex smiled. “Why? They’re cute.”  
   
“No, they are embarrassing,” Tobin said, looking up at the photos. “We were such dorks.”  
   
“Were?” Alex laughed. “Babe, you two are still dorks.”  
   
“Okay true, but I think I am way cooler now,” Tobin exclaimed, putting on her best cool face.  
   
Alex spun around to face her. “And what makes you so cool now?”  
   
“Well, I hang out with super cool people,” Tobin said, referring to her soccer friends. “And I’m dating the most popular girl in school.”  
   
“Who?” Alex faked surprise. “Who’s this girl? I’ll kick her ass, you’re mine.”  
   
Tobin started to laugh as she wrapped her arms around the girl in front of her. “I am yours. I never thought I would be. I mean, I was always so weird, and everyone loved you in school.”  
   
Alex scoffed. “They didn’t even know me.” She draped her arms on Tobin’s shoulders. “None of them really knew me, expect Moe, Becks and JJ. Everyone else was just there. We were friends but we weren’t really friends. No one really knew me back then, they just knew of me. I don’t think anyone really liked me for me, they just liked the idea of me.”  
   
“Well, they missed out,” Tobin smiled. “Because you’re amazing.”  
   
Without hesitation, Alex was kissing her. Tobin could feel herself being pushed backwards, she took a few steps back, Alex still clinging to her, kissing her with passion. The back of her legs hit the bed, then suddenly she was pushed back, laying on her back with Alex on top of her. The kiss was powerful with the same hunger they had in the car just days before, but it wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t forced, it was soft and smooth, and allowed Tobin time to actually think about all her movements. She didn’t want to mess this up, not again, so she let the kiss slowly transition into more. She put her hands on Alex’s hips, the fabric of her dress was soft to the touch. Alex’s leg slipped between hers, and suddenly Tobin felt something in the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t like before, when she felt like her stomach was doing flips, it was a calm feeling, like everything was going to be okay. Her hand drifted up Alex’s back, her fingers found the zipper of the dress, she toyed with it for a second, but Alex must have thought she was hesitating because she was pushing up, breaking their kiss.  
   
“I’m okay,” Tobin rushed out. “I promise, I’m okay.”  
   
Alex smiled down at her. “I know you are.”  
   
Tobin sat up on her elbows and kissed her girlfriend again, placing a hand behind her head trying to pull Alex back down but she was resisting.  
   
“Lex, I promise, this is okay, I am okay,” Tobin told her, her eyes wide, trying to convey how much she meant what she said.  
   
“I know you are,” Alex said softly. “But I don’t think we should do this right now.”  
   
There was something in her face that let Tobin know that Alex wasn’t stopping this because she thought Tobin wasn’t ready, it was something else, something she didn’t want to talk about yet. Just like Alex would never rush Tobin into anything, there was no way Tobin was going to push Alex to do something she didn’t want to do. She leaned up and kissed her, softly, a kiss that said she understood. They got up from the bed and walked over to the dresser where Tobin took out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. They turned their backs to each other as the changed; it wasn’t that they were shy, it just felt like the right thing to do in the moment. After they were dressed in comfortable clothes, they headed downstairs.  
   
“So where is this movie collection?” Alex asked as they got into the living room.  
   
Tobin pointed to the entertainment stand, “In the doors next to the T.V. We can watch whatever you want. I’ll get us some waters.”  
   
Alex went over and started to study the movies in the cabinets. She looked back at Tobin, who was in the kitchen, opening a bag of dog treats and placing one on the giant dog’s nose, making him weight for his prize. Tobin had a huge smile on her face, her hair tied back in a low pony tail, her tan legs visible in her shorts. As Alex watched Tobin crack up at the dog popping the treat in the air and catching it in his mouth, Alex had one thought running through her head, she was falling for Tobin Heath.  
   
Her entire life, Alex had always wanted one thing, for someone to love her for who she really was. All through school, she had to be exactly who everyone wanted her to be. All her friends wanted to hang out with the funny, popular Alex who did all the cool things, dated the cool kids, hung out at parties, and did all the typical things a person needed to do in order to be popular, but that wasn’t who Alex really was. When she was alone with Morgan, she was allowed to be goofy, and dorky, she was allowed to be full of angst and angry, she could be sad and quiet. Sometimes it felt like the only time she could ever be herself was when she was in her small group with Morgan, Becky and JJ. When she started to date JJ, things got better. She could be more herself, but even then, it was still hard to let her guard down and really show the sweet girl who she truly was. 

Her life was made so much harder with her mom always pushing her to do things she didn’t really want to do. Her mom wanted her to be the popular girl, with good grades, a handsome boyfriend, maybe even be on the cheer squad or the dance team. When Alex choose soccer, her mom was so upset, but it was Alex’s passion. Her whole life was spent making compromises in order to please everyone around her, changing little pieces of herself to fit what everyone else wanted. With Tobin, it wasn’t like that. Tobin was sweet and understanding, she didn’t need Alex to be that popular girl, she just needed Alex to be herself. Every second with Tobin felt like she was discovering herself all over again. Alex was more herself in these last few weeks then she had ever been.  
   
“So what are we watching?” Tobin asked as she made her way to the couch with some water bottles and a few snacks.  
   
Alex turned around holding up a Blu-ray. “This.” She smiled as big as she could.  
   
“No,” Tobin groaned. “You are not making me sit through ‘A Fault in Our Stars.’”  
   
Alex gasped. “How do you not like this movie?”  
   
“Because it’s so predictable.”  
   
“Oh shut up, you did not predict the end of this movie.”  
   
“I did, it was so obvious.” Tobin plopped down on the couch. “I can sum up the entire movie for you in like two sentences, we don’t even need to watch it.”  
   
Alex took the disc out of the case. “I know what happens. I’ve seen it before.” She stuck the disc in the player. “You said we could watch whatever I wanted, this is what I want.”  
   
“Fine,” Tobin huffed. “But I am talking through the whole thing, and we are watching what I want next.”  
   
Alex jumped on the couch, leaning in to kiss her. “Deal.”  
   
They laid on couch, their feet propped up on the chaise. Alex settled into Tobin’s side, wrapping her arm around the warm midsection of her girlfriend. She laid her head on Tobin’s shoulder, and laid one leg on top of hers. Tobin put her arm around Alex’s shoulder, kissing the top of her head and settling into her new, comfortable position. As the movie started, Tobin couldn’t help but think how amazing this was. Alex couldn’t help but think about how comfortable she was.  
   
   
Tobin’s plan to talk through the entire movie was ruined by her falling asleep within fifteen minutes. She had been talking, mostly nonsense, for a little while, then her words got softer and the pauses became longer until she was quiet and her breathing became steady. Alex lifted her head slightly to see Tobin’s eyes closed and her head back on the pillows. She laughed a little at her girlfriend, who was wide awake just moments ago, then she settled back into her spot on Tobin’s chest and watched the movie until her eyes were too heavy to stay open and she fell asleep.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Tobin woke up, the music from the title screen was playing over and over again, taking her out of her dream. She opened her eyes, it took her a second to realize she was on the couch and Alex was sleeping on her chest. She looked down at the girl, her eyes were closed, but they looked like they could flutter open at any moment; her breathing was steady, almost in sync with her own. Having Alex with her like this was the most wonderful feeling, never in her wildest dreams did she ever think Alex Morgan would be asleep on her chest, she wanted to preserve this moment. She grabbed the remote and turned off the movie, then grabbed her phone and started scrolling through Tumblr. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, but there was no way she was ever going to disturb the girl sleeping on her.  
   
Alex woke up to Tobin’s chest moving up and down rapidly, she picked up her head and looked up at Tobin laughing at something on her phone.  
   
“I’m sorry, did it wake you?” Tobin smiled.  
   
Alex rubbed her eye with her hand. “Yeah, what are you laughing about?”  
   
Tobin turned her phone and showed Alex the funny picture.  
   
Alex squinted to read the small words then giggled a bit. “How long have you been awake?”  
   
“Like twenty minutes.” Tobin shrugged.  
   
Alex slapped her softly on the shoulder. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
   
“You’re peaceful when you sleep,” she answered with a soft smile.  
   
“Am I not peaceful any other time?”  
   
Tobin thought for a second. “Not really, no.”  
   
Alex laughed, slapping her shoulder again, this time a little harder. She went to lay her head back down when Tobin spoke up.  
   
“I have to tell you something.”  
   
Alex looked up at her. “What’s up?”  
   
Tobin smiled. “I have to pee really bad.”  
   
“Oh my god, you should have just woke me up.” Alex gasped, moving off her.  
   
Tobin jumped up. “You’re cute when you sleep,” she said, planting a quick kiss on Alex’s forehead before she rushed off.  
   
Alex got up from the couch and walked around the living room, and into the kitchen. The house was laid out nicely, with a huge open kitchen that blocked off the living room with a giant island with granite counter tops. Off to the side was a dining room table with just enough chairs to fit Tobin’s family, only instead of a dinner set up, it had two laptops and some scattered papers, the table probably hadn’t been used for a big family dinner in a while. Alex liked how open the house was, you could see almost everything if you stood in the middle. She walked into the kitchen and looked at the pictures on the fridge. She noticed one that had Tobin and two other girls that looked like older versions of Tobin, and a boy with the same smile, but stronger features, these had to be her siblings. They looked happy, the way Alex was with her sisters. From what Alex could see, Tobin’s life seemed so peaceful, like everything was not perfect but some kind of version of perfect, one Alex would be more than happy to be a part of.  
   
“Are you hungry?” Tobin asked, coming into the kitchen.  
   
Alex nodded her head. “I can definitely eat.”  
   
“Well then, sit back and relax and I will make you the best damn sandwich you’ve ever had.”  
   
Alex sat down at the high bar stools on the other side of the counter and watched as Tobin started pulling things from cabinets and the refrigerator. She started throwing things together, mixing things that didn’t seem like they needed to be mixed and putting things on the bread that didn’t sound very good. Alex just enjoyed watching her, she was smiling, and humming to herself, some song Alex didn’t recognize, every once and a while, Tobin would look up and give her this big smile. When she was done and the sandwiches were about three inches tall, Tobin took out the biggest knife and cut both of them into two triangles and handed one plate to Alex.  
   
“I’m not going to lie to you…” Alex said, staring at the plate. “This looks awful.”  
   
“I know it looks awful, but give it a chance.” Tobin said as she opened the sliding glass door to let the dog into the back yard. “No one has ever been disappointed.”  
   
She shrugged her shoulders and picked up the giant sandwich, Tobin watched her with excitement. She took a bite, still skeptical, but it all went away when she tasted it.  
   
“How is this good?” Alex said, covering her mouth as she spoke.  
   
Tobin grinned. “I’m a sandwich genius.”  
   
Alex swallowed. “You really are. If soccer doesn’t work out, you should open your own shop.”  
   
“Will you be with me?” Tobin asked playfully. “Give up your soccer career to work in my sandwich shop?”  
   
“I would give up almost anything for you.” She caught the words as they came out of her mouth, she didn’t mean to say them. Now that she heard them, she knew they were true, but it wasn’t something she was ready to get into. She could feel Tobin’s eyes on her, so she swallowed and followed up with, “But you’re going to be a pro soccer player, so we don’t have to worry about giving up anything.”  
   
“You’re right, we are going to be pros together.” Tobin smiled.  
   
Tobin saw the look on Alex’s face when she said the words, there was no way she meant to say them out loud, and even though Tobin wanted to say something back, it was probably better if she didn’t. Though in her head, she was thinking how she felt the same way; she would give up almost anything for Alex.  
   
Alex turned to her, wanting to change the subject, “It’s going to be so weird in California without you on my team.”  
   
“Why?” she asked with a smile.  
   
“You’re my midfielder,” Alex said simply, as if it was the only possible answer. “You’ve been my midfielder practically my whole soccer life. I know you, I know how you play, I trust you. Not having you there on the wing is going to be so weird. I’m so use to not having to worry on the field, I know you and Moe will always get the ball back and send it up, I don’t think I’ve ever had to doubt when you two are backing me up.”  
   
“I know what you mean,” Tobin admitted. “Don’t tell JJ, but I’ve been counting on her for the last eight years.”  
   
Alex laughed. “Why don’t you want me to tell her?”  
   
“Because it’ll go to her head,” Tobin told her. “I love playing mid, it’s where I am most comfortable, but I got even more comfortable when JJ showed up and took control of the line. She makes all the defenders play harder, even Kling plays better when she is out there. I know I can count on our back line, but I feel a little safer with JJ back there.”  
   
“I know what you mean, she was a great captain.” Alex nodded. “It’s going to suck so much without my team, you know, I’m so used to you guys. I am used to your speed and all those crazy tricks. I’m used to Moe in center, pushing the whole field to one side. What am I going to do without Alyssa yelling across the field, or when I don’t have Lynn on the other side calling out runners? How will I play without you?”  
   
Tobin grabbed her hand. “You’ll find other players, way better than me.”  
   
“No way,” Alex said quickly. “I know you are all humble and crap but you have to realize how amazing you are. Tobin I don’t think I have ever seen anyone play like you.”  
   
She lowered her head, a little embarrassed by the compliment. “Thanks. You know you’re like crazy good too, and faster than hell.”  
   
“Hell yeah, I smoke you on the field.”  
   
“You wanna go run sprints right now?” she joked.  
   
Alex put her hand on her stomach. “Not after that huge sandwich. I want to curl up on the couch again.”  
   
“Fine but we are watching what I want this time.”  
   
“We never even watched my movie, we fell asleep,” Alex protested.  
   
“Doesn’t matter.” Tobin jumped up from the stool and let the dog in the house. She walked over to Alex, who was already in the living room. “Hey, you know you’re going to be great at Berkeley, right?”  
   
Alex stopped and turned around to face her. “I really hope so.”  
   
“I know so.” Tobin smiled and put her arms around Alex. “You’re going to kick ass, and you’re going to get a call up to the national team, and I’ll get one too, then we will play together again.”  
   
Alex pulled herself in closer so she could put her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder. “You better be right Tobin Heath.”  
   
“I’m always right,” Tobin laughed.  
   
They settled into the living room, Tobin picking ‘Dawn of the Dead’ as her movie choice. They laid back in their positions on the couch, Alex laying on Tobin’s chest, only this time they didn’t fall asleep. They did talk through the movie but it was only small comments here and there.  
   
Tobin’s head was filled with thoughts, she had the same concerns that Alex did when it came to soccer. She was lucky, getting to go to the same college as Meghan and play with someone she knew, but she would only know her and Christen, everyone else would be a mystery. She was going to have to learn a whole new team, all new players with different styles. Even now, Christen was a different kind of forward than Alex, it was so different playing with her. Christen had speed and crazy control, but her approach was different, she didn’t play like Alex.  
   
Everything was going to be different at college. She wasn’t going to come home to her family every night. She wasn’t going to go on runs with her dog, or practice shots in her back yard. School was going to be hard and confusing, and she wouldn’t have her mom telling her to do her homework. She was going to have to find a new church, it wouldn’t be the same old ladies she saw every week. Her dorm was going to be small, her bed even smaller, and the sounds of her house would no longer be there to comfort her. Most of all, she would no longer have moments like this with Alex.  
   
This was the first time they had a full day together, laying down with their bodies pressed together. This was the first time Alex’s body heat was covering her entire body, the first time should could feel her breathing, the first time Alex’s hand was clutching onto her shirt as they just enjoyed each other’s company. All of this was a first, but Tobin wanted it every day. She wanted Alex with her all the time, making funny jokes about zombies, pointing out the holes in movie plots. She wanted Alex to fall asleep on her, she wanted to watch her wake up and rub her eyes with the back of her hand. She wanted to see her smile and her bright eyes. She wanted to hear her corny jokes, and her rants that started on one topic but always lead to another with no real explanation on how she got there. She wanted the little slaps to her shoulder, the kisses to her cheeks, the squeezes to her leg while they drove. She wanted to see her face all the time, forever.  
   
_Oh shit, am I in love with Alex?_  
   
“Why do they always run right into the middle of the zombie hoard?” Alex asked, snapping Tobin out of her trance, “If I was in a zombie apocalypse, I would always stay on the outskirts, I would never run head on into a group of them.” She picked up her head, and saw Tobin’s wide eyes, “You okay?”  
   
Tobin nodded. “Uh-yeah, I’m fine.”  
   
“Do you have to pee again?” Alex laughed.  
   
She laughed with her. “No I’m okay, just watch the movie, and stop questioning their choices.”  
   
“I’m just saying, they don’t make the best decisions.” She laid her head back down.  
   
Tobin pulled her arm around her tighter. “You would never survive a zombie apocalypse.”  
   
Alex slapped her hand down on Tobin’s stomach, “I would so survive.”  
   
The conversation started to go off on what they would do in a zombie apocalypse, but Tobin’s mind was on other things. She had always been ‘in love’ with Alex, in the puppy dog kind of way. She was in love with the idea of Alex, and having her as a girlfriend, but she didn’t really know her as well as she thought. Alex was so much different than she imagined. What Alex had told her in her bedroom, how people knew of her but they didn’t know her, she was right. Tobin knew of Alex, she knew things about her, she knew she was smart, and funny. She knew she was really good at soccer and a terrible singer. She knew she had a preppy, yet a little rock ’n roll style. She knew Alex was beautiful and had a bright smile and the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. She knew all of this about Alex, but she didn’t really know her.  
   
Now, she was getting to know the real Alex. The girl laying on her was smart, but she was also wise, and mature, and understood things that not everyone their age understood. Alex was funny, but she was also dorky, and laughed more at her own jokes then anyone else’s, and she was witty and if you didn’t pay attention you would miss half the things she said. She was amazing at soccer, but it made her nervous, she worried about it, she worried about her teammates, she worried about what people would think; and yes she was a terrible singer, but she sang anyways, at the top of her lungs, uncaring. She had a preppy style, but it was always cut but a pair of dirty converse, not because it was cool, but because it was comfortable and she hated wearing heels; Alex was most comfortable in sneakers. Her smile was bright, but it got brighter when she thought something was truly funny, she had different smiles for different things and Tobin was learning every single one of them. Her eyes were blue, but they got darker depending on the light, and sometimes her mood, and when she cried and they turned red, the blue almost looked grey and it broke Tobin’s heart. She knew all these things about Alex, the real Alex, but she still had a lot to learn. So maybe she wasn’t exactly in love with Alex, but she was getting there and she was enjoying every second of the journey.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
They had watched the entire movie, ordered a pizza and started the next movie in the zombie series. They talked through the movie, and Alex snuck Striker pieces of pepperoni when Tobin’s back was turned. They spent the entire day sitting on the couch, laughing, and talking about everything they could think about. As the sun started to go down, they didn’t even notice how late it was; they probably would have sat around all night if the front door didn’t open and interrupt them. Tobin heard the door and her heart sank, she looked at her phone, it was only seven, her parents weren’t supposed to be home until eight, how was she going to explain all of this. She looked at the foyer, she started to breathe again when she saw her big sister walking into the living room.   
   
“Perry,” Tobin said happily.  
   
“Hey,” the older girl said as she came into the living room. “What are you two doing?”  
   
“Watching zombie movies.” Tobin smiled. She stood up, Alex standing as she did. “Alex, this is Perry, my big sister. Perry, this is Alex… my girlfriend.”  
   
“Nice to finally meet you.” Alex said with a big smile.  
   
Perry nodded. “Nice to finally meet you too. Have you two been here all day?”  
   
“Kind of,” Tobin told her. “We went to church, then we had waffles, then we came here and Alex has been feeding Striker pizza when she thinks I’m not looking.”  
   
“Hey I want him to like me.” Alex laughed.  
   
“You don’t have to worry about that, he’s a big softy.” Perry laughed.  
   
Alex leaned down to the giant dog. “I knew you were a big baby Striker, you’re not vicious at all, your sister is a big fat liar.” She laughed as the dog licked her cheek.  
   
Perry laughed as the big dog rolled over on his back and let Alex rub his belly, Tobin just shook her head.  
   
“Well today has been a long day, I need a shower,” Perry told her little sister.  
   
“Yeah, I should get Alex home before mom and dad get here,” Tobin said, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck.  
   
Perry nodded. “That would be a good idea.” She turned to Alex, “It was nice to meet you. We should all get together and have lunch or something normal and grown up like that.”  
   
“Sounds good to me.” Alex smiled.  
   
Perry left up the stairs, and Alex said goodbye to Striker. Tobin put all the stuff in the kitchen and they headed out the door to drive Alex home.  
   
As they drove, they talked about getting together with Perry when Katie came home in a few weeks. Tobin wanted Alex to meet her sisters, and her brother whenever she could get him to stay in one place for an hour. They got to Alex’s house and stood outside by the car.  
   
“Today was awesome,” Alex said, leaning against her girlfriend.  
   
Tobin nodded. “Yeah, we have to do that again.”  
   
“Maybe next time at my house, you can get to know ObiWan.” Alex smiled.  
   
“I don’t think he is as good of an guard dog as Striker,” Tobin joked.  
   
Alex laughed. “Yeah, he was super scary.” They laughed for a few seconds before Alex leaned in and kissed her. “Seriously though, I don’t think I have had a day like that in a long time.”  
   
“I don’t think I have ever had a day like that,” Tobin said with a big smile. “I really like you Alex.”  
   
“I really like you too.” She leaned in and kissed Tobin again, she couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I should get inside and pack for the trip.”  
   
“You haven’t packed?” Tobin gasped.  
   
Alex pushed off her and laughed. “I’m a last minute type of girl.”  
   
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”  
   
Alex grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her in for another kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning.”  
   
“K…” Tobin said with a huge smile. “Night.”  
   
“Night, babe.”  
   
Tobin drove home with a huge smile plastered on her face. She couldn’t stop smiling, the day had been perfect, everything about it was exactly what she wanted all her days to be like. She pictured coming home to Alex one day, sitting on the couch and talking through shows. She pictured falling asleep together, and waking up together. Yeah, there was no doubt in her mind, she was definitely starting to love Alex Morgan.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Back at her house, Tobin's parent’s had already made it home, Tobin’s gave herself a mental high five for taking Alex home when she did. She went inside and talked for a little while, then went upstairs to get some sleep, she had an early day tomorrow. She crawled into her room and plopped down on her bed. Before she had a chance to really breathe, her mom was in her room.  
   
“Hey honey, I just wanted to make sure you had everything for your trip,” she said, poking her head into the room.  
   
Tobin sat up on her bed. “Yeah, I packed last night.”  
   
“And this girl who’s driving, are you sure she is a safe driver?”  
   
Tobin chuckled. “Yes mom, don’t worry, we will be fine.”  
   
“I would just feel better if I knew the girls you were driving up there with,” she said with concern in her voice.  
   
Tobin could hear the anxiousness in her mom’s tone. “Would it make you feel better if I texted you every hour during the drive?”  
   
She smiled. “Yes, and every few hours when you get there.”  
   
“Okay, I can do that.”  
   
Her mom gave her a soft smile and looked around her room, she spotted the sun dress draped over her desk chair, “When did you get this?”  
   
Tobin felt her heart stop. “I, uh…”

“I bought it for her the other day,” Perry was standing in the door way. “I made her wear it for church today.”

Her mom turned to her, “You went to church today?”

“Yeah, we went together,” Perth said convincingly.

Their mom smiled and looked over to Tobin who grinned. “That's good, you two need to do more together.”

The older girl gave her mother a big smile, “Yup, we sure do, in fact Tobin is taking me to dinner when she gets back, paying for it and everything.”

Their mom gave Tobin a soft smile, “That’s so sweet. You girls are so sweet.”

“Yeah, just the sweetest.” Perry gave her little sister a huge smile.

“Get some sleep Tobin, I want you to be alert tomorrow,” their mom said as she headed out the room.

“Okay mom, I'll see you in the morning,” Tobin said in a low voice

The two girls watched their mom walk out the room, they waited until they heard her headed down the stairs before they spoke.

“Holy shit,” Tobin gasped. “Thanks sis.”

Perry laughed. “Yeah, no problem, you do owe me dinner.”

“Yeah dude, wherever you want,” Tobin said with big smile.

Perry turned to leave the room, but then came back. “Oh and next time you have sex in your room, maybe make sure she takes her dress.”

“But we didn't…”

“Sure.” She gave her little sister a wink then walked out.

 

   
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? Awesome!! If you were looking for Preath, you gotta go back a chapter. Hopefully the new chapters will be up soon. Harass me if I take too long


	21. Bean Town (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group goes out to explore Boston. Lindsey and Tobin make some new friends in the park before the game. The finally reach the National Team game, and Tobin finds out that after the game they are going to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Christen part of the story, so if you are looking form some Talex action you gotta go to the next chapter. 
> 
> Excuse my latest, you know, life and all the general stuff. We are getting close to the end, though, so stick with me.

The light was shinny through the small space where the shades didn’t fully meet, one single beam of the sun light brighter than sun has ever shined and it was beaming straight into Tobin’s eyes. She flipped over in the bed to try and get comfortable again, but there was no use, her body was awake. It took a minute for her to remember where she was, when she opened her eyes instead of seeing her room, she saw the pale colored walls of the hotel room.  
   
“Oh, right,” She grumbled, her brain piecing the together everything that happened last night.  
   
She looked over on the night stand, sitting by the lamp was her phone, the charger chord hanging from it; Christen must have plugged in her phone last night after she passed out. _Christen is wonderful._ She clicked on her phone is was almost eleven, which meant she had slept away most of the morning. There was a message, she clicked it open:  
   
 **Kling:** Leaving in a few minutes. We should be there by 1.  
   
The message had been sent over and hour ago, but Tobin still sent out a thumbs up before clicking over to her Facebook and scrolling through. She had a few notifications, the group had taken a picture last night at some point in time and Lindsey tagged everyone in it. Tobin looked at herself, she looked happy, Christen was sitting in her lap, so of course she was happy. The picture looked innocent enough, she didn’t look drunk, though she was definitely drunk at that point because she didn’t remember taking the picture, but no one could tell from the photo so she left it without hiding it from her family.  
   
It might have been her hung over brain talking, but she actually looked pretty cool in the picture. She had a huge smile, her arm around Christen’s waist, everyone was crowded around and smiling. This was the first real group photo she had ever taken with friends and it looked like all the photos she had seen before, she looked like a typical teenager with friends. She was about to scroll on and look at the rest of her feed when someone commented on the photo:  
   
 **Allie Long:** You two are so cute together.  
   
Yeah, maybe she should hide this from her family. She quickly changed the settings, the last thing she needed was her mom calling asking about who looked cute together, she was not ready for that. Before she got a chance to look through the rest of her feed the door the room opened slowly, she looked over to see Christen trying to tip toe into the room.  
   
“Good morning,” Tobin said sitting up in the bed.  
   
Christen looked over at her and smiled, “Did I wake you?”  
   
“No,” Tobin responded wiping her eyes with her hand, “The sun woke me up.”  
   
“Well, how do you feel?” she asked walking over to the side of the bed Tobin was on.  
   
“Like crap,” Tobin laughed, “But nothing some electrolytes can’t help.”  
   
“True, I went to the store this morning I got you some Gatorade,” She said kissing Tobin on the forehead, “If you get up now I will make you some breakfast.”  
   
Tobin looked up at her with a grin, “Really? In that case I’m getting up.”  
   
“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen,” she said heading over to the door.  
   
Tobin watched her walk and noticed something, “Hey, are those my sweatpants?”  
   
Christen looked down at the pair of blue and white pants she was wearing, there was no denying whose they were, they had Tobin’s school name on them, “Uh, yeah. I didn’t pack any and it was cold in here this morning. I hope you don’t mind.”  
   
She shook her head, “Nah, they look good on you.”  
   
“Thanks,” she said her cheeks starting to turn flush, “Well get up, and maybe put a shirt on, I mean I don't mind you half naked, but the rest of the group might have a thing or two to say about it."  
   
Tobin looked down at herself, still in her just her bra and a pair of briefs, her cheeks turned red, she looked up at Christen and flashed a sheepish smile, “You got it.”  
   
Leaning back against the head board Tobin watched her girlfriend walk out the room. So this was what it was like staying with your girlfriend, she wore your stuff. She remembered countless times when Katie and Perry wore hoodies and shirts that were clearly too big for them, or had some kind of sport they would never watch let alone play on it. They wore their boyfriend’s clothes all the time and it was always no big deal. Even Jeff’s latest girlfriend always walked around wearing his flannel shirt as a jacket. It was a thing, wear your boyfriends clothes, and it was apparently a thing to wear your girlfriends stuff too. It didn’t really matter, she only packed the pants in case it was cold in the room, so she didn’t really need them, and besides she was telling the truth, Christen did look good in them.  
   
She got up, pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of running shorts, trying not to think about the fact that she spent the whole night half naked and in bed with Christen. She tied her messy hair up in bun looking in the mirror and deciding this was good enough for being hungover. The suite was surprisingly quite when she walked out, she expected the others to be running around, or watching TV, or maybe they had convinced Christen to give them back the soccer ball, but there was no one to be found except her girlfriend in the kitchen mixing something in a big bowl.  
   
“Where is everyone?” Tobin asked as she sat down at the kitchen bar.  
   
Christen didn’t turn when she spoke, “Hope and Mallory are out exploring, Lindsey is still asleep and Sam went for a run.”  
   
Tobin crossed her arms on the counter and laid her head down, “How is Sam running?”  
   
“I have no idea, that girl has all the energy in the world,”  She spun around and opened the refrigerator, “So I got you Gatorade, but I didn’t know what color you liked so I got blue, red, orange and yellow.”  
   
“Orange,” Tobin said her face still buried in her arms, “Please.”  
   
Christen put the drink in front of her, “Okay, drink that, and take these.” She said putting a bottle of Advil on the counter, “I am making pancakes, you’ll feel better once you’ve eaten.”  
   
Tobin looked up at her and tried to smile, but it didn’t come out too well. She opened the drink and drank half of it without stopping. The bottle of pills was small, and had a child proof cap and her hungover brain was incapable of figuring out how to work it so she let out a sigh and held it out to Christen shaking it so the pills rattled, “Help, please.”  
   
Turning to see the sad look on her girlfriend’s face Christen chuckled and took the bottle opening it and putting two pills in Tobin’s outstretched hand, “There you go.”  
   
“You’re the best,” She smiled, before taking the pills.  
   
“Apparently I am the best in the whole entire world,” She laughed.  
   
It took Tobin a second to remember her drunken confession last night, “Yeah you are, except when you are feeding me copious amounts of alcohol.”  
   
“Okay I had no idea that you only drank once before, the time you threw up in the bushes at your aunt’s house,” She laughed.  
   
Tobin lowered her head back down on her arms, “God, I can’t believe I told you about that.”  
   
“Yeah you told me a lot of stuff last night,” She said in a sly tone.  
   
Tobin looked up at her, “What do you mean?”  
   
“I mean, you talk in your sleep.” She said with a little shrug.  
   
“No,” she gasped popping up, “What did I say?”  
   
“Oh nothing,” Christen laughed.  
   
Tobin sat up straight, “Oh come on Chris, you have to tell me. What did I say?”  
   
She started to laugh, “Nothing really, it was mostly mumbles and things I couldn’t understand. But I do know that you are extremely happy that we are going to school together, apparently you’d miss me if I was gone.”  
   
“Well, that’s all true,” Tobin said relieved that her sleepy drunk words weren’t anything she wouldn’t say out loud if asked.  
   
“And you liked me in my black shorts,” Christen said casually.  
   
“I said that?” She gasped.  
   
Christen looked over her shoulder and gave a quick wink, “Oh yeah, you said that.”  
   
“Jeez,” She lowered her head, “I’m such a dork.”  
   
“Yeah but you’re cute,” Christen laughed.

“Was I really bad last night? I remember most of it, but was I like, crazy?”

“No,” Christen said thinking about the question, “You were good, just super talkative, like I don’t think I have ever heard you say so many words before.”

Tobin shook her head, “Really? I guess that’s not really me, huh?”

“No it was you,” she answered sweetly, “You were still you, it was mostly about soccer, you were just… I don’t know… Like, Super Tobin.”

“Super Tobin,” she laughed.

“Yeah, like you, but amplified by like a billion.” She walked over and kissed her, “It was pretty funny, you're funny, and you know like every lyric to every Taylor Swift song, and you have a strange fascination with turtles, you talked for like five minutes about how awesome they were.”

“That’s because turtles are the best,” Tobin said, grinning like a dork.

“And you are very passionate about the new Thorns line up.”

Tobin sighed, “Do not get me started.”

Christen laughed, “I heard everything last night.”

“Fair enough,” She laughed.

“Don’t worry about last night, you were great and everyone loves you even more. Honestly it was kind of nice hanging out with talkative Tobin, everyone got to see what I see in you." She gave her a little smile then turned back around to continue cooking.

The night wasn’t too much of a blur, there was parts Tobin was missing, but for the most part she remembered everything. Knowing she didn’t make a fool of herself made everything better. Last night she didn’t notice how much she was talking, it was almost like everything that held her back, all her anxieties and insecurities were just gone, and she could just talk the way she would with Meghan when they were alone. The best part about it was everyone was talking to her too, the fear that she had growing up, that maybe no one really wanted to hear what she had to say was gone, the group she was with was genuinely interested in what she had to say, maybe not the analysis of The Thorns line up, or her passion for turtles, but everything else. As much as she felt alone and a little exposed going on the trip without her best friend, it was turning out to be one of the best choices she could have made, she may have gotten too drunk last night, and had no plans on drinking that much again for a long time, but the rest of the night was great, and she was sitting in a kitchen watching her girlfriend cook, so it was turning into the best trip she had ever taken.  
   
Tobin watched her make food, bouncing around the kitchen and talking about things. Soon, the pancakes were ready and luckily Tobin didn’t have to move, Christen brought her food and everything else she needed. They talked while they ate, mostly about the game and how excited they were to see specific players. As Christen was explaining what her strategy would be if she was the national team coach Tobin started to think about doing this every morning. She could sit with her and listen to her talk, eating food they made together (when she wasn’t hungover) and talking about soccer. If this was what was in store for them when they got to college, then she couldn’t wait to get there.  
   
After they were done eating Christen got up and put the plates in the sink. She looked over and watched Tobin drink the rest of her Gatorade, spilling some of it down her chin as she tried to drink quickly. She watched her girlfriend wipe her chin and smile over at her, the whole thing, waking her up, cooking breakfast, eating together, it all felt so very domestic, and Christen couldn’t remember a time when she felt more comfortable. Tobin was silly, and a little sloppy in a cute way, and Christen thought about taking care of her. She thought about making sure she ate in the mornings, and not letting her just drink a cup of coffee and move on. She thought about making sure she had everything for class before she rushed out the door with her ripped jeans and backwards hat. She thought about quick kisses in the morning, meeting up for lunch because they wouldn’t see each other until late at night, coming home to all Tobin’s papers spread out on the table while she worked. She thought about crawling into bed, being too tired to do anything but sleep curled up together. She thought about pulling her off the field when she stayed after to practice corner kicks even though everyone else was long gone. Christen watched her girlfriend stand up and grab another drink, chugging half of it and looking satisfied, this was exactly what she wanted her life to be.  
   
“I feel a million times better,” Tobin said putting the lid on her drink. “Thank you for breakfast, and the drinks, and well taking care of me.”  
   
She moved closer to Tobin wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her in. She leaned in and kissed her; she tasted like cherry Gatorade and maple syrup. “I like taking care of you.”  
   
“Good,” Tobin smiled, “Because I am a mess.”  
   
   
\--  
   
   
After showering and changing into her jersey and jeans, Tobin sat on the couch and turned on the television. She was waiting for the others to finish getting ready. Sam made it home just after she and Christen finished eating breakfast, Hope and Mallory weren’t far behind her, and Lindsey woke up around noon. They were going to go out and explore the town around the stadium and wait for the others. Meghan had texted and told said they hit some traffic and wouldn’t be there until two, which wasn’t a problem, the game didn’t start until five and they didn’t plan on starting the tailgating until around three.  
   
Tobin was the first one ready, the others had to do make up and all that so she got to sit by herself and check out scores. She wasn’t alone for long, Lindsey came out her room in an away jersey and a pair of dark blue jeans and plopped down next to Tobin starting a conversation about Real Madrid. Soon Sam was out there and then Mallory, followed by Christen who took her spot next to Tobin, though she was practically sitting on top of her as everyone tried to squeeze on one couch. Hope was last, coming out with her green goal keepers jersey.  
   
“Dude that had to be crazy expensive,” Lindsey said when she saw Hope, “You have to get those custom made.”  
   
“My mom bought it for me last year,” She said casually, “She said it was motivation.”  
   
“Lucky, I wish my parents bought me motivational jerseys,” Lindsey sighed.  
   
“Maybe they know you’re never going to make it to the national team,” Mallory teased.  
   
“Oh I am making it to the nationals,” Lindsey stood up and put her fist on her hips like superman, “I am going to France and I’m going to kick ass, then I’ll get the call up and I’ll be playing for the U.S. before any of you are out of college.”  
   
“Good luck with that,” Sam laughed. “I’m happy to go to college.”  
   
“I don’t think I want to go to college either,” Mallory said lightly.  
   
Hope shot her a look, “Don’t even say that, you’re going to college.”  
   
“What if I can make it pro before I graduate high school?” Mallory asked quickly.  
   
Hope gave her a smile, “I don’t doubt that you can, but college is awesome. Trust me you are all going to love it, except when UDub is kicking your ass.”  
   
“Oh please,” Christen said standing up, “With me and Tobin on the same team, UNC is going to be the champs, no question.”  
   
“Nah, Tobin’s lame,” Lindsey teased, “She’s overrated for sure.”  
   
“You’re overrated,” Tobin snarked, “You have fun in France, while we dominate in the good old U.S.A.”  
   
Lindsey shook her head, “You know one day we are going to be on opposite sides in the NWSL and I am going to run all over you.”  
   
Hope started to laugh, “All this smack you’re talking and you two are going to be on the same team and never get the play against each other.”  
   
“Yup, the Red Stars,” Christen cheered.  
   
“Ah, get out of here,” Lindsey scoffed.  
   
Tobin shook her head, “Yeah, no one wants to be on the Red Stars. It’s going to be The Thorns all the way.”  
   
“Hell yeah,” Lindsey shouted holding her hand up for a high five, “I knew you were my favorite person for a reason.”

“You literally just called her overrated,” Sam said.

Lindsey shook her head, “That’s the hunger talking, Tobin’s my favorite.” She put her arm around Tobin’s shoulders, “But we do need to get some food.”

“What do you want to eat?” Hope asked.

“How about pizza, everyone loves pizza, right Tobs?” Lindsey started to crack up, and everyone was laughing with her. 

It took Tobin a second to remember last night in the room when she was wearing her pizza slices briefs, “You told them?” she gasped shooting Christen a look.

Christen cupped her hand over her mouth and tried not to laugh, “I’m sorry, they were so cute.” She went over and hugged her girlfriend kissing her cheek, “You were so cute.”

“Still,” Tobin pouted.

“I’m sorry babe,” she said still trying to hold back her laughter, “But everyone does love pizza.”

“Everyone loves pizza!” Lindsey yelled.

“Everyone loves pizza!” The rest of the group shouted. 

There was no stopping it, the pizza thing was officially a joke, and as much as Tobin wanted to feel embarrassed, which she kind of was, she thought it was funny too. After pouting enough to make Christen give her another kiss and promise to buy her a slice of pizza later, Tobin started to laugh with the group, after all it was hilarious. 

 

The group all piled into the car, Lindsey insisted on sitting up front so she could be the DJ, and Tobin didn’t protest, she was in a deep conversation with Sam about UCLA, but everyone else started to groan when hard core hip hop starting playing.  
   
“You and Chris are really lucky you know,” Sam said as the car started to move, “You two get to go to the same school. Long distance sucks, I never want to do that again.”  
   
“I didn’t know you dated anyone long distance,” Tobin replied.  
   
She nodded her head, her face looking a little sad, “She lived in Colorado and I was in Massachusetts with my mom, we met online and dated for like six months, I even flew to Denver for a week to see her, but it didn’t work out. Not being able to see each other face to face was horrible.”  
   
“It’s a good thing Chris and I will be together,” Tobin said happily. The conversation came to a stop and Tobin wanted to ask a question but she wasn’t sure if she and Sam were good enough friends to actually ask. After a few seconds of sitting in silence, Tobin looked up to the front to make sure no one could hear them in the third row of the huge vehicle, “Can I ask you a question?”  
   
Sam nodded, “Yeah sure.”  
   
She thought for a second, how could she ask this without it being weird, there was no way to really word it in a way that wasn’t like she was prying so she just asked, “Is that why you and Lindsey aren’t together, because she’s going to France?’  
   
Sam pressed her lips together and tilted her head thinking about the question, “Yes and no,” she said simply. “I like Lindsey, she’s really great, but I don’t like her like that. The thing is, I know I could, or would if I let myself try, but since I know she is leaving in a few weeks I never let myself see her that way. We hang out every summer when I come to Jersey to see my dad, and she has always been involved with someone, or at least infatuated with some random girl from her school so I never really had a chance to like her in that way, this is the first time the both of us are single. I guess if she was going somewhere close to UCLA than maybe I would let myself think about it, but she’s going to a different country, not just a few states over where we can drive to see each other or even catch a plane for super cheap, she’s going to be at least nine hours away, I can’t put myself through that again.”  
   
Tobin nodded, “I understand. I mean I’ve never been in a long distance relationship, I’ve never been in any relationship before, but I get it.”  
   
“Wait,” Sam said reaching over and grabbing Tobin’s arm, she leaned in closer and started to whisper, “You’ve never been in a relationship? Chris is your first girlfriend?”  
   
“Yeah,” she responded feeling a little self-conscious.  
   
“Holy crap,” she said in a low voice, she looked up to the front of the car where Christen was talking and laughing, no one was paying attention to the two of them in the back of the car, “I thought you and Kling were like, a thing, you know before Chris.”  
   
“No way,” Tobin laughed, “Kling is my best friend, she’s like my sister.”  
   
Sam sat back in her seat staring up at the roof as if she was figuring something out, “That explains a lot.”  
   
“What do you mean?”  
   
“Nothing,” She said turning back to look at the puzzled girl next to her, “It just makes sense now that I know.”  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows, now she was confused, “I don’t understand. Do I act weird or something?”  
   
“No, no,” Sam reassured her quickly, “It just makes sense, the way you look at her.”  
   
“How do I look at her?” she asked.  
   
Sam sat for a second trying to figure out what to say, “Like, you can’t believe she’s with you.”  
   
“I can’t,” Tobin laughed. “I mean, I don’t understand it, but I’m happy.” She thought about it, “Is that a weird thing to do?’  
   
“Not really no, I mean kinda sorta,” She shook her head, “It’s hard to explain.”  
   
“Please explain,” Tobin asked trying not to sound as desperate for the answer as she actually was.  
   
Sam took another look down the aisle of the car making sure everyone was still caught up in their own worlds and not listening in on the conversation. She turned to Tobin and smiled, “Well, you’re hot… You know that.”  
   
Taken back by the statement Tobin tried to denying it but words were not coming from her mouth, she was shocked, and just moved her mouth with no actual sound.  
   
Same chuckled, “You are, even if you don’t know it. And Chris is freaking gorgeous, like no doubt, the girl is a ray of freaking sunshine. People as hot as you and Chris are usually pretty cocky and use to dating other hot people. Chris being your first girlfriend makes sense because you are in like total shock that she even looks your way. And she treats you like you’re fragile, not in a bad way, but in a ‘I hope she doesn’t get scared and runaway’ kind of way. It just makes sense because usually the first one takes off after a few months, and I can tell she doesn’t want to lose you.”  
   
“You think she is scared of losing me?” Tobin asked leaning closer to Sam.  
   
She reached out and touched her arm reassuringly, “No, not like you would just break up with her and run. I think she is scared that you might figure out this whole dating thing and want to go out and, I don’t know, explore.”  
   
“But I don’t,” Tobin rushed out.  
   
“Yeah I can tell,” Sam laughed, “I think deep down she knows too, she’s just doing what I would do.”  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows, “What’s that?”  
   
“Hold on tight,” Sam smiled.  
   
Tobin smiled back, before she got a chance to ask more questions the car was stopped and everyone was quiet. They were in a parking garage in the city and everyone was ready to get out of the car and explore Boston.  
   
As they walked out the garage and started down the street Sam took control of the group and started talking about every place she knew in the area, Lindsey followed behind listening to every single word. Tobin was happy in the back of the group watching everyone as they pointed at the buildings and different shops on the street. 

Christen saw Tobin in the back and slowed down to meet her. She hooked her arm in Tobin’s and planted a kiss on her cheek, “Missed you in the car.”

“Yeah?” Tobin asked with a big smile, “I missed you too.” She looked over at her girlfriend and paused for a second, the words Sam said turning in her head. “Hey Chris, you know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

The statement was a little strange, but it was still nice to know, Christen smiled and hugged her arm closer, “Yeah I know.”

Boston was wonderful in the summer, the streets were filled with people walking around checking out historical buildings with little modern stores stuck in the brick walls. They walked in and out of places buying small souvenirs for their families. There were several people walking around in soccer jerseys, every time they spotted someone they would point it out and try to wave to the group. They spent an hour just walking around exploring the historic city. 

Tobin had seen Boston before, she had been there on a school trip. When you live in New England your entire life you always make a trip to Boston, DC and Philadelphia and all those places that made the young country what it is today, but it was a different experience with the group she was with. The last time she was in Boston it was with a bunch of people she didn’t know, and she and Kling stayed in the back of the group discussing the Breakers, and if they could sneak away from the group and go see the stadium, they didn’t actually learn anything on the trip and they didn’t interact with anyone else. Hanging out with the rowdy bunch of girls was a whole new experience. Tobin was happy to stay in the back with Christen, listening to her commentary on the huge city, but somehow she was pulled into the middle of the group and everyone was talking to her. 

Being in a group was so strange, she had never experienced it before, and she had no idea how to react. Holding several conversations with different people all at once was a little overwhelming but she quickly got comfortable and was contributing interesting stuff to every conversation she was having, still she would look over to Christen every few seconds to make sure she was there, watching her, ready to come save her if she got overwhelmed, and Christen was always watching her giving loving smiles. 

They stopped in a small pizza shop for lunch, of course everyone had to say something about pizza to Tobin. Across the street some girls were kicking around a soccer ball in the park, of course Lindsey insisted they go play while all the ‘boring people’ sat around and ate. Lindsey grabbed Tobin by the arm and dragged her over to the park, claiming Tobin was the only one good enough to help her impress the girls. They asked girls, who were also sporting soccer jerseys, if they could join in for a little while, and they got a thumbs up. 

It was a small game, with tipped over trash can used as a goal, and no goalie. Tobin was nervous at first only playing with one person she knew, but she quickly fell into a rhythm with Lindsey. They kicked the ball back and forth running past the girls and scoring goals. As soon as Tobin got a feel for the trick style of play Lindsey was doing she started to show off too, juggling the ball on her feet as she made it past one of the weaker players, back heeling to Lindsey as she made a run, nutmegging anyone she could.

“You two are pretty good,” one of the girls said when Lindsey kicked the ball into the trashcan goal.

Lindsey turned around and smiled, “Yeah, you could say that.”

Tobin looked over at her friend, she was blushing, and Tobin understood why, the girl that was talking to her was pretty cute, she had long dark brown hair and caramel colored skin and looked like she played soccer, or maybe was a runner, or something that kept her in shape. Tobin had never been in a situation where a girl was flirting with her friend, but she had seen it on TV and in the halls of her school, suddenly the confidence she had last night, after all those beers, came out and she found herself walking over to her friend and throwing her arm around her shoulders. 

“She’s just being modest,” Tobin said with a big smile, “She’s awesome, so awesome in fact she is going to France to play pro.”

The girl looked shocked, “Are you serious?”

Lindsey looked down, her cheeks now redder than Tobin had ever seen them, “I mean, yeah I am, but it’s no big deal.”

“Yeah right, it’s totally a big deal,” Tobin said sounding a lot more cocky than she ever sounded before, honestly she was shocking herself with all this confidence, “Trust me in a year you’re going to see her on the national team.”

Smiling even bigger now the girl looked at Lindsey through eyelashes, “Well maybe I’ll be wearing your jersey next year.”

“No way, she’s crazy,” Lindsey said shyly. “I mean, I’m going pro, but no way I’ll get to the national team.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Lins,” Tobin slapped her hand on her friend’s chest and looked over to the girl and smiled. “She’ll be there for sure, you should get her number, you know so when you buy her jersey you can call her to sign it.” _Tobin mother fucking Heath, where the hell did that come from?_

“I think you’re right,” The girl said with a big smile.

She took out her phone and handed over to Lindsey, who happily typed in her contact information. Tobin wanted to talk more, she was as confident as she had ever been and she was riding the high, Super Tobin was making her way out, but Lindsey was smart about the whole thing, she said proper goodbyes and promised to try and see the girl at the game, then moved Tobin out of the park and back with their group. 

“How was the game?” Mallory asked.

“Uh, the fucking best,” Lindsey said with a huge smile, “Tobin totally got a number.”

Christen shot Tobin a look, “She what?”

“Got **me** a number, Chris.” Lindsey clarified, “I had no idea she was such a good wingman.” She put her arm around Tobin’s shoulders and pulled her in close, “I’m going to need you to bring that kind of game whenever we are back in Jersey, help me get a girl a little closer to home.”

“Honestly I have no idea how I did that,” Tobin laughed shyly, “That may’ve been a onetime thing dude.”

“Unacceptable,” Lindsey shouted, “Tobin Heath, you are my wingman now, I need that to me a million time thing. Now come on, let’s discuss some strategy for when we get home.”

She was pulled forward Lindsey’s arm wrapped tight around her shoulders, she looked back at Christen who was smiling and laughing with Hope the entire time. Tobin tried to give Christen a ‘save me’ look, but it didn’t work, and before she knew it she was listening to Lindsey talk about how they were going to get so many girls when they got back to Jersey. 

The whole time Lindsey was talking the only thought Tobin had going through her head was how much her new wingman had no idea how little skill she had with women. They park was a fluke, she had no idea how she did that, Super Tobin was not someone she could just summon up, or was it, she had never really had the chance to test it out. She had seen and heard several people help their friends get dates during school, the halls were always filled with guys trying to convince girls to date them, and somehow every single time a guy seemed to be striking out his friend would swoop in and say something smooth and complementary and the other guy would end up getting a date. 

It was in every teen movie, it was in every show, the wingman, but Tobin had never been one before. The only chance she had ever had was Meghan liking Morgan, but her best friend was always too freaked out to even talk to Morgan so she never had to be a wingman, and even now Meghan spent most of her time trying to win over Morgan all on her own. Tobin was too caught up in trying to make sure she didn’t mess anything up with Christen to really be a wingman to her best friend, maybe that made her a bad friend. Two days into hanging out with Lindsey and somehow she found the confidence to help her score a girl, and thirteen years of friendship with Meghan and never once had Tobin spoken up for her. That wasn’t all her fault though, after all they were both quiet and reserved and chose to stick to themselves, but still she should be there to help, just like Meghan was there to help her with Christen. There, walking into a little shop in the middle of Boston, Tobin made a silent vow to herself, she was going to help her friend any way she could, even if it meant finding some way to summon cocky Tobin again and be a good wingman, she would figure it out for Meghan, she would do anything for her. 

As they walked around the shop Lindsey had finally released Tobin and let her walk around with Christen. She liked walking around with her girlfriend, watching her as she studied everything on display, ever once and a while she would point at something and say something along the lines of “that’s cute” or “I like that.” Tobin didn’t really like a lot of the stuff in the shop, it was kind of girly and not really her style, but she always nodded and agreed with whatever Christen said, she was just happy to watch her smile.

Christen stopped at a display that had a few necklaces hanging up, “I really like that.” She said pointing to a silver chain with a blue gem, “It’s tanzanite, that’s my birthstone.”

Tobin looked closer at the chain, “Oh yeah, December right? It’s really pretty.”

“Yeah, I was born a few days after Christmas, I always get the Christmas gift as a birthday gift, I hate it.” She said lowering her eyebrows. 

“My birthday is in May, so I can’t say I know what you are talking about.” Tobin said with a smile, she looked closer at the necklace, it was really pretty and would fit Christen really well, “You should get it.”

She pressed her lips together thinking about it, “Nah, it’s like sixty bucks, I’d rather spend that on t-shirts at the game of something.”

Tobin nodded her head, “Yeah that makes sense.”

They started to walk around again, a few minutes later everyone was ready to go and they headed for the exit. They stood just outside the shop trying to figure out how to get back to the parking garage, it was almost time for them to meet up with the other group and head to the game to start their tailgate party. 

“Hey, um I’ll be right back, I think I dropped my wallet in the store,” Tobin said patting her back pockets and looking around on the ground. “Just go on ahead to the car.”

“Do you want me to go back in with you?” Christen asked.

“Uh, no,” Tobin said with a smile, “It’s a small store, it should take long to find it, don’t worry, I’ll catch up.”

Christen gave her a strange look but agreed to walk down the street with the group while Tobin ran back into the store. 

As quickly as she could, Tobin went in the store and headed straight for the display with the necklaces. She grabbed the one with the blue gem stone and rushed up to the counter paying as quickly as possible and shoving the chain in her front pocket. She ran out the store and up the street to meet back up with the group as they were just about to turn the corner. 

Christen grabbed her hand, “Did you find your wallet?”

“Yeah,” Tobin said a little out of breath.

They found the garage with little problem and all piled into the car to get to the game. The stadium was only a few minutes away, but it took longer with all the traffic to get into the parking area, but soon they were parked, and Sam and Mallory stood in the parking spot next to the car to save it for the other group. They took out the cooler of food and drinks, along with the fold up lawn chairs they had and starting setting up in their spot. It took about fifteen minutes and a few angry people yelling at them for taking up a parking spot for the other group to show up. 

Meghan jumped out the car and immediately hugged Tobin, “I missed you dude.”

“I missed you too,” Tobin said hugging her friend close, “Let’s never be apart again.”

“Never again,” Meghan replied. 

Alex walked up behind them, “You two are weird.”

Both girls started to crack up, they may have been over exaggerating their reunion but they did miss each other. They weren’t apart too often, once a year for like two weeks when the Klingenbergs went back to Pittsburgh to visit family, and a few times when the Heaths traveled for one thing or another, but other than that, they had seen each other almost every single day of their lives. It was nice to see each other again, to have that little bit of safety again, even if Tobin didn’t necessarily need it anymore. 

Soon everyone was introduced to each other, JJ and Becky being the new kids in the group, but it didn’t take long for them to find their place, and it was like the eleven of them had been together for years. The other group had not eaten since they took off from Jersey so they were happy to sit around the cooler and eat all the snacks that were packed. Tobin was in the parking lot kicking the ball around with Sam and Mallory occasionally looking over to Christen who was being entertained by Lindsey talking about how cool it was going to be to have Tobin as a wingman. 

It was almost time for the gates to open, so everyone started to clean up. Alex broke out the face paint and Sam started painting red, white and blue marks on everyone’s faces. She was painting lines on Tobin’s face when she looked down and saw the silver chain hanging out of her pocket. 

“What’s that?” Sam asked pointing at her pocket. 

Tobin looked down, “It’s nothing.”

“Oh come on Tobs, we are homies now,” Sam said curiously, “Come on, let me see.”

“Fine but only if you promise to never say homies again.” Reluctantly Tobin reached in her pocket, looking around first to make sure no one was paying attention to them, she held up the chain for Sam to see, “Chris said she liked it in the store.”

“And you went back and bought it,” She had a huge smile on her face. “You said you dropped your wallet, Tobin you sly dog.” She gave her a little punch in the arm, “You are such a sweetheart.”

She pushed the necklace back in her pocket, “Don’t tell Chris, I want to give it to her later.”

“Don’t worry your secret is safe with me,” Sam told her. 

Tobin gave her a shy smile and opened her mouth to say something else, but she was called over to help with the rest of the packing. Sam watched as Tobin went over to Christen and started doing whatever she asked. 

Alex appeared in front of Sam, “What are you looking at?” 

“Tobin… She is so sweet.” Sam told her, “I need a girlfriend.”

Alex giggled a bit, “Yeah I need a girlfriend too.”

They both watched as Tobin loaded some stuff in the car, talking to Christen and smiling. Christen had a soccer ball under her arm, keeping it away for the others until after they finished getting everything put away, but Tobin was now trying to get it away from her. Tobin lunged forward and Christen stepped out the way making Tobin stumble a bit. The happy midfielder was right back at it trying to grab the ball from her girlfriend when she finally got ahold of her, wrapping her long arms around Christen and pulling her in, kissing her cheek.

“I really need a girlfriend.” Alex smiled as she watched her friends.

 

After packing the cars and pushing the entire group to the entrance everyone was in line, bouncing back and forth anxious to get into the stadium and see the field. The best part about being at the game with a bunch of soccer players was everyone was talking about soccer. Everyone had an opinion on players, and lineups, there was a whole debate on playing on turf versus grass, Tobin was in heaven with all the soccer talk, the best part being she had her best friend right next to her, and her girlfriend’s arms hooked in hers. It could not have gotten any better, well that was until they saw the seats they had. They got into the stadium and rushed to the fifth and sixth row center field on the bench side, they would be able to see everything from these seats. Hope got five seats in the sixth row and six on the fifth that way they could all talk to each other without having to yell across the row, it was the perfect configuration to talk about the game.

“Hope, these seats kick ass,” Meghan yelled as they all looked over the field, “How did you score these?”

“I have my ways,” Hope responded.

Everyone looked around eyes wide as they gazed out onto a real professional soccer field. Tobin was in shock, she had seen the national team play before, but she was so far away the ball looked like a little speck on the green field, not now, everything was so close, she could almost smell the fresh cut grass. She sat fifth row center, and there was no moving her from that seat, she wanted to look at that field for as long as she could. While everyone else went to grab drinks and food Tobin elected to stay right where she was, and her best friend had the same idea. 

“Dude,” Meghan said once the two of them were alone.

“Dude,” Tobin said back. 

They were both in shock, neither of them could believe they were here, sitting this close to a professional soccer game, how was this their lives right now. Tobin leaned as far forward as she could, she would run over and jump on the field just to feel the grass under her feet if she could, and she knew Meghan would be right behind her. Having her best friend back by her side was the best feeling, she knew Meghan knew exactly how she felt, she didn’t need to hold back. With the others, they wanted to play soccer, they wanted to be pros, but not they way she and Meghan did, they didn’t breathe it like it was the only thing that could keep them alive. The others wouldn’t understand how they felt, but they understood each other. 

“It’s so green,” Meghan said happily.

Tobin didn’t turn to look at her, “It’s the greenest thing I have ever seen.”

“It’s the best thing I have ever seen.” 

“Yeah, I just want to be out there.”

“One day dude, one day.”

Tobin turned to look at her friend, “One day.”

The national team came out onto the field in their red and black practice jersey and right then the two girls started to freak out. 

“It’s Abby Wambach,” Tobin said leaning even more forward in her seat, “Dude she is right there.” 

Meghan matched her friends seating position, “And Shannon Box… Dude, we are so close.” 

“How is everyone missing this?” Tobin gasped, “I can’t believe it.”

They sat as close as they could without actually coming out of their seats, never taking their eyes off the field watching their heroes warm up. They would point out warm up, or a certain kind of kick, making notes to each other to try certain things out. Tobin paid attention to the midfielders as they warmed up together kicking the ball back and forth and Meghan watched as the defenders were charged a few times by some of the other players. Every time something interesting happen one would give the other a tap on the shoulder and point it out then quickly go back to quietly watching. 

By the time the others got back to the seats, they warm ups were over and the team had gone back in the locker room. Tobin and Meghan sat talking about everything they saw when the other girls sat down.

“The lines were stupid long,” Christen said sitting next to Tobin, “Then they ran out of fries right before we got up there so we had to wait even longer.”

“Babe, you missed warm ups, it was so cool, they were all out there, kicking around, it was like the best ever.” Tobin said so quickly all her words jumbled together. 

Christen looked out on the field, “Damn, I was hoping to catch some of the warm ups.” She looked over at Tobin who was eating the fries she brought, “You better enjoy those fries, I missed warms ups for those.”

Tobin took a bite of the fries and smiled, “They are the best fries I have ever had.”

“Yeah, they better be,” Christen laughed. 

It wasn’t long before the team was coming out in a line, and then standing facing the stands. Everyone stood for the New Zealand national anthem, and when the Star Spangled Banner played Tobin felt a little pull on her heart, she couldn’t wait for the day she was standing down there waiting to play for her country, thousands of people watching her, waiting for her to score. One day she was going to be wearing the red white and blue and she was going to the one who everyone cheered for… one day, but for now she was going to enjoy this game.

As they sat down and waited for kick off Christen grabbed her hadn’t and squeezed it. She leaned over and kissed her cheek, “That’s going to be us in a few years.”

Tobin turned her head quickly, “Out there?”

“Yeah,” Christen smiled, “We are going to be on the field and you’re going to send the ball up to me, and I'm going to score.”

“What if I want to score?” Tobin asked.

She shrugged, “You’re a midfielder, your job is to get the ball to me so I can score.”

“Man, you strikers are all the same.” Tobin laughed.

 

—

 

The game started and all the conversations the group was having turned into commentary of what was going on the field. The US started off slow, Abby Wambach not finding her rhythm until around the twentieth minute, but when she did the entire group was on the edge of their seats watching her play. Alex was on the other side of the seats from Christen, but the two of them talked across Tobin, Meghan and Morgan whenever someone would get a shot off. As New Zealand started to pick up the pace, JJ was leaning forward form the back row and talking into Meghan’s ear, the shorter girl nodding and agreeing with everything that was going on. Hope was going crazy when a ball came off a New Zealanders foot and was aimed almost perfectly at the goal, but Brianna Scurry was all over it. 

The crowd was rowdy in the stadium, banging on drums and chanting as the team dug in and pushed the ball forward. You could feel the tension in the crowd when the ball came off Heather Mitt’s foot and the goal keeper knocked it out.

“Corner!” Tobin shouted, reaching over and hitting Meghan, “Corner, dude, corner.” 

“Yeah I can see it Tobs,” Meghan laughed. 

Everyone turned in their seats to get the best angel they could for the shot. Tobin was out of her seat, hovering just over it waiting for Abby Wambach to take the corner. She was leaning so far forward it was possible to for her to fall over, but she stayed upright, there was no way she was going to miss this corner. The kick was perfect bending just the right way, and Christie Pearce was right where she needed to be, she jumped up and headed the ball in. The crowd erupted.

Everyone stood up jumping up and down hugging each other and screaming as loud as they could. Chants of U.S.A filled the stadium, everyone was waving giant flags around. Tobin was screaming as loud as she ever had yet she couldn’t hear herself over the crowd. This was the coolest thing she had ever seen, the US was now up 1-0, and she was there to see it all.

Tobin looked over at Christen who had a huge smile, “This is the greatest thing ever.” 

Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin's neck pulling her in for a quick kiss, “I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

“Me too,” Tobin smiled. 

The ball was reset and everyone was back in their seats, but the next five minutes went quickly and it was half time. Finally Tobin got up from her seat and headed up the stairs to find a bathroom. 

“Dude how freaking cool is this?” Meghan asked as they stood in line for the bathroom.

Tobin laughed, “Pretty much the coolest.”

“I can’t believe we are here,” she said looking around, “I mean not here, in the bathroom, but at a game and not in the nose bleeds, and not by ourselves.”

“I know right, we have friends dude” Tobin chuckled, “And I got drunk last night.”

Meghan turned to her, “You what?”

“We met up with some guys at the pool, and we had a barbecue and I had a lot of beers, I was pretty drunk,” Tobin laughed. 

“Like Christmas at your aunt’s house drunk, or worse?”

“No, not that bad,” Tobin told her, trying to hold back her laughter. “I just drank beer and talked a lot, then fell asleep and Chris took care of me, she plugged in my phone and everything.”

“Wow, that was nice of her,” She said nodding her head, “Wait, you two shared a room?”

Tobin shrugged, “Yeah, it was no big deal.”

“You sure?” Meghan asked knowing her friend.

“I mean yeah it was, but I was cool,” Tobin was trying to play it cool, “Well I was drunk so it ended up not being a big deal because I don’t remember most it.”

“Did you two…”

“No,” Tobin answered quickly, “Not yet.”

“Not yet, so it’s going to happen?”

“I mean, yeah eventually," She said simply, now really thinking about it for the first time since yesterday, “I mean not today, or anything, I don’t think, but sometime down the line. We’ve talked about it.”

Meghan studied her friend for a second, she could tell this wasn’t something Tobin really wanted to get into in the line for the bathroom so she decided to just go with the flow “Alright dude, as long as you are like ya know… safe or whatever, and happy and all that stuff.” 

Tobin gave her a weird smile, and so the topic was dropped.

As much as Tobin wanted to talk to her best friend she didn’t really know what to say, this was a big deal, but it was something she needed to figure out on her own. No one could tell her when she was ready or not, she was the only one who could really choose the time, and the only person that needed to be involved in the decision making process was Christen. Besides even if this was something you sat down and had a deep conversation about Meghan didn’t really know what she was talking about when it came to sex, she was as clueless as Tobin, so neither of them were reliable sources. Tobin knew she had to talk about it one day, but maybe later when she was more sure about the whole thing. Right now she was kind of in limbo, that point where she wasn’t ready to do it, but she really felt like she was, especially with Christen kissing her all the time. For now, she was just going to go with the flow and let things get to where ever they were going on their own. 

As they were walking out the bathroom Tobin thought about the one thing she hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to her best friend about yet, “Hey how is the Morgan thing going?”

“It’s going… I think,” Meghan responded. “We went on a date and we talk and text all the time, and I don’t know, I think she likes me, and I think she wants to be more than just a friends, I’m not sure.”

Suddenly, the confident Tobin was out and ready to give a pep talk. She stop Meghan next to the stairs turning her so they were facing each other. “Dude, go for it.”

“What?” Meghan laughed looking around nervously. 

“With Morgan, just go for it,” Tobin was talking like it was the easiest thing in the world, even though if someone was giving her this advice she would have the same bewildered look on her face. Still she was in it now and she was feeling confident, “You can’t let your fear keep you from doing the things you want to do. You and I have done that for so long. You know, if we weren’t so nervous and anxious all the time in high school we could have had this years ago, a group of friends and girlfriends and all the rest of this stuff. You and I can’t let our fear hold us back anymore.”

Meghan looked up at her best friend, “Did you want all this?” She asked her eyes big.

Tobin shook her head, then kind of half nodded, “Yes, and no. I loved our life I really did, I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything in the world, I hope you know that. You’re my sister Kling always and forever, I’m just saying that we could have had all this in high school, but we were too afraid. Honestly I’m lucky I even had you, I was such a weirdo.”

“Yeah, we both were.” She laughed, “I’m lucky I had you. I know what you are saying. I was driving up here with everyone and it was like, I don’t know, it felt weird, but I realized it was weird because I had never done that before. Once I got out of my head it was so much fun.”

“Dude I had that same feeling,” Tobin told her, happy her best friend was experiencing everything she was. “I was so scared to come up here without you, I had Chris which made everything easier, but still I didn’t have you to talk for me, I had to actually speak, you know on my own, with my voice.”

“And you didn’t throw up?” Meghan laughed.

“Nope,” Tobin said proudly, “I didn’t puke once, not even when I was drunk. I missed you, I really did Kling, I don’t want you to think I didn’t miss you.”

“Nah, I get it.” Meghan reassured her, “I have been talking for you for so long, I sometimes forget what it’s like to only speak for me. I guess I let your nerves, and mine for that matter, stop me from doing a lot of things. I was so hell bent on protecting you, and if I'm honest, shielding myself, I forgot there were other people in the world that we could’ve talked to.” She paused for a second letting the statement really sink in, “But that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to go anywhere without me anymore.”

Tobin started to crack up, “Definitely not, I don’t like functioning without you, but it is nice to know I can.”

“So we have to start being more confident, you know, without each other, huh?”

“Well, let’s make a vow, right now, in this sacred place.” She laughed looking around at the stadium. “You and I are not going to let our nerves hold us back anymore. We are going to hang out with this awesome group, I am going to be happy with my girlfriend, and you are going to ask Morgan Brian to be your girlfriend.”

Meghan stood up straight and stuck her chest out, “Yeah, you’re right. From now on, you and I will be cool.”

“Wo, I didn’t say cool,” Tobin started to laugh.

Meghan nodded, “Yeah you’re right. From now on we will be kind of okay, but not nervous.”

Tobin held out her hand, “Deal.”

Meghan grabbed her friends hand and held tight, “Deal.”

They shook hands and pulled each other in for a tight hug. When they broke apart they both felt the different, like in that instant they had changed, it was as easy as that, just saying the words made them feel so much better, they could now go be the new versions of themselves. It was going to take some work, after all they had been the old them for so long, but they had each other to lean on, and now Tobin had Christen, and hopefully soon Meghan would have Morgan.

As they got back to their seats Tobin sat next to Christen taking her hand and lifting up to kiss across her knuckles. She looked over to Meghan who had started a conversation with Morgan, maybe it _was_ as simple as that, maybe they were different now.

“Hey wingman,” Lindsey said leaning over in the seat to talk to Tobin, “I’m going to need you tonight.”

Tobin turned in her seat, “Tonight?”

“Yeah, remember the hottie in the park? Well turns out they go to college not far from the hotel, so we are going there after the game.” Lindsey put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m going to need my wingman tonight, so get ready bud because we are going to fucking rage.”


	22. A Little Closer Now (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has a strange conversation with her mom that brings up some old insecurities. She and Alex have a long talk that brings them closer together. When they get to the game Alex's insecurities start to rise up and Tobin has to step up. Meghan and Tobin talk about their friendship and begin to figure everything out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah Boy, this is the Alex part of the story. If you are looking for Preath you need to go back a chapter. 
> 
> Excuse my lateness, life and work, and all that crap.

The phone was buzzing on the end table, normally this would have shocked Tobin out of her sleep, but she was already awake going over the items in her bag for the fourth and maybe final time. She reached over and slid her thumb across the screen. 

“Hey babe,” She said smiling from ear to ear.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Alex asked.

Tobin chuckled a bit at the question, she had been up for a while and she had everything as ready as she was going to get it, “Yeah, I’m ready. Are you on your way?”

“Yup,” Alex replied, popping the ‘p’ excitedly, “I’m getting in the car right now. I am going to be on time for once.”

“I’m proud of you,” Tobin said happily.

“Thanks babe, I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Sounds good.”

She hung up and shoved the phone in her pocket, Alex was a fast driver so the twenty minute drive was only going to be about fifteen minutes if Tobin was lucky, she decided to go back over her stuff one more time just in case. She packed a bag yesterday morning, or more like the night before, she wanted to be as prepared as she could be, this was her first trip on her own without her parents, so she needed to be sure she had absolutely everything she could possibly need.

She had her jersey on, they were going to meet Meghan and the others at the game, so there was no point in wearing anything else, and she had on a pair of light blue shorts that looked best with the white away jersey. She packed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in, a pair of shorts and a national team t-shirt to wear on the drive back in the morning, along with extra pairs of everything like socks and underwear because the worst thing that could ever happen is you get there and some how some way you run out of underwear, so three pairs went in her bag. She had her phone charger and a book, though she doubted she would have time to read any, but you never know. Everything seemed great, her bag was the perfect over night bag.

The thought of this being her first overnight trip was spinning in her head, was she ready for this, was she ready to be away from home with no one but a group of girls that in reality she was just getting to know. The only people she truly knew were Meghan, Christen and Alex, everyone else was still kind of a mystery, and even more so, she was still kind of a mystery to them. What if she got in the car and it turned out JJ and Becky didn’t like her, after all they never really spoke to her in school, but that was probably because she never really spoke to them, in actuality they were some of the nicest people in school, no one ever said anything bad about them, and Alex loved them. Still, that didn’t mean they were all going to get along the way she hoped they would, and that was starting to build up inside her. 

Throughout school Tobin was quite and shy, but it wasn’t because she didn’t like anyone, most of the people she was around seemed pretty cool in their own right, all the soccer players were pretty funny and really friendly it was Tobin that held herself back, and it never really bothered her because Meghan was always there and they always had something going on, but this was different, she didn’t have Meghan, she didn’t have the buffer, the one person who could speak Tobin and make sure everyone knew what she meant, especially when she just nodded or shrugged, or some kind of awkward body movement that was meant to convey an entire sentence. There was Alex, and they were getting to know each other really fast, it was easy with Alex, she didn’t ever make her feel odd of uncomfortable, all the words just seemed to flow out when they spoke, but how well would Alex run interference when it came to the times when Tobin had no idea how to express herself, would Alex know what to do? 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, she took it out and saw a text from her girlfriend saying she was waiting outside, Tobin had been sitting on the edge of her bed working herself into an anxious mess for over fifteen minutes. She sent out a thumbs up and tucked her phone away, zipping her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. As she headed downstairs she tried to take deep breaths and calm herself down, she could do this, after all she didn’t really have much of a choice, everyone was waiting on her, Meghan was already up there expecting her to arrive in a few hours, and Alex was just outside waiting on her to come out with a smile on her face, so she mustered the best smile she could and headed down the stairs.

“You’re already leaving?” It was her mom in the kitchen. 

Tobin spun around, “Yeah, Alex is outside right now.”

“That’s Alex Morgan right? The girl on your soccer team. You two have been spending a lot of time together.” The tone was strange, one Tobin had never heard from her mom before. 

She moved a little closer to the kitchen, “Uh, yeah, I mean, kinda, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say a lot. We just hang out sometimes, we just started you know, hanging out and stuff.”

“She always seemed really nice, I just didn’t know you two were such good friends.” She was swirling a spoon in a cup of tea, “You never really hung in school.”

“I never really hung out with anyone in school,” Tobin said in a low tone, “Alex and I met up when I was at work one day and we hung out and now we are friends. It’s not a big deal.”

Her mom shook her head in that way that meant she didn’t want to get into an argument, but she also wanted Tobin to admit that she was right, “I never said it was a big deal. I’m just saying she is a new person in your life and you spend a lot of time with her.”

“Well…” Tobin paused, shifting her weight and fixing the bag on her shoulder, “She’s really cool, and we play soccer together. I don’t know mom, I like her and…”

“You like her?” She cut Tobin off. 

Tobin shook her head, “Yeah, like friends, I like her as a friend, I like being her friend.”

She lowered her head, “You like being her friend?”

“Yeah,” Tobin could feel the sweat begin to collect on her forehead, “I like being her friend.” She said agin, this time with a little more conviction so it didn’t seem like such a weird thing to say.

“That’s good. It’s good you are making new friends.”

“Yeah, well she’s not going to be my friend much longer if I leave her standing out there.” Tobin needed to shut this down quickly before she said something or conveyed something she really didn’t want to. 

Her mom nodded and smiled, “You’re right, go on, have fun, and be safe.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tobin turned around and headed for the door, she looked over her shoulder and shouted, “Love you, text you later.”

“Love you too.” Her mom called back. 

_What the hell was that about?_

 

—

Her mother wasn’t shy about sharing her insight on Tobin’s social life, but that was odd. The last time her mom commented on her lack of friends was one of the last games before playoffs started. They won, Tobin coming away with an assist and two really close shots. The team was celebrating down on the track as the boys team started to take the field for warm ups, it was a particularly important game, their playoff spot had been sealed a long time ago, and they won 2-1 so they didn’t crush the other team by any means, yet everyone seemed really amped up. All the other girls were talking loudly and bouncing off the walls, the younger players surrounded the seniors and were clinging to every word they were saying. Tobin was of course on the outside listening in, and she heard plans of a party after the boys game, which wasn’t unusual, but it was impromptu. The seniors planned for it to be just the team, no boys, no outsiders, they wanted to hang out just them. Tobin thought for a second about the whole thing and realized, it was the last regular season game she would ever play in high school, and the other seniors realized it too, the party was a celebration and a small goodbye in a way, and for a split second Tobin actually thought about asking if she could go, but chickened out when she saw JJ kiss Alex’s forehead. 

Their relationship had not been announced to the team, they never really made a big thing about it. Alex had been pretty weird about relationships for a lot of their junior year and most of the senior year, but when she and JJ got serious it was pretty obvious to everyone who cared to take notice, and Tobin cared to take notice. She cared to notice almost everything that Alex did, and a new arm around her waist, no matter how subtle stood out to her loud and clear, and it frustrated her beyond belief. The rest of the team kind of kept to themselves about it, Tobin only heard a few people actually say something, and never when Alex was around. She over heard JJ confirm it to a few players in the locker room, but they were told to be hush hush about the whole thing, it seemed like Alex was still a little shaky and didn’t want anyone to make a big deal about it. For the next few weeks JJ would whisper things to her and it would make Alex smile (something Tobin hadn’t seen in a while, and if she was honest, she was totally missing) and JJ would sit close to her making sure their arms were touching. Eventually it got to her kissing her hand randomly, or pulling Alex in close whenever she seemed upset. After a couple of months JJ would kiss her forehead, or her temple, and something along the lines that said they were together and no longer trying to hide it. Even though Alex was smiling again, Tobin couldn’t help but hate it, she was jealous and there was no getting around it. 

After seeing the subtle display of affection Tobin talked herself out of the thought of going to the party. She had never been to a party before, so why would she start now. JJ and Alex may have been flying under the radar at school, but they would probably be all over each other at the party, away from the prying eyes of adults and the rest of the school, so why the hell would Tobin want to subject herself to that. So she put the idea out of her head never even presenting it to Meghan as a possibility. 

The boys game ended going really well and all the excitement just served to amp the girl up even more. The team was all gathered around in the back parking lot where they parked their cars or waited for their rides when Tobin’s parents drove by. It was unusual for them to come by the back lot after Tobin got her car and started driving herself to and from school and games, so she was pretty shocked to see the tan SUV pull up. She walked over to the car, her mom rolling down the window in the passengers seat. 

“Hey, uh-what’s up?” Tobin asked her mom.

Her mom looked over at the other girls in the parking lot, “It’ll be okay if you want to go to this party for the team.”

Tobin looked into the car and lowered her eyebrows, “What are you talking about?”

“You know the soccer party, I heard the girls talking about it, and some of the parents were talking about letting their girls go, and I thought I’d let you know that it’ll be okay if you wanted to go, you’d just need to be back by curfew.” Her voice sounded hopeful like Tobin was actually going to say yes. 

Tobin shook her head, “Nah, it’s okay, Kling and I are going her house to hang out.”

“I wish you would hang out with the other girls on the team,” her mom said in a sad tone, “They always seem like they are having so much fun.”

It was a dig at Tobin, a soft one and nothing she hadn’t heard before so she brushed it off, “I have fun with Kling.” She said quickly before her mother could finish the rest of her thought which was no doubt more negative commentary on how her youngest daughter was a loser, “I’ll see you guys in the morning, I’m just going to sleep at Kling’s.”

“Okay,” her father said quickly, “Drive safe sweetheart.” Her dad was always coming to the rescue.

Her mother sighed, “Yeah, okay, have fun.”

That was the last time her mother tried to push her into hanging out with other people, after that she seemed to just give up, Tobin knew it was because her father said something in the car, he always defended her shyness. He always seemed to know something her mom didn’t. Her father was always in tune with her on the subject of friends. He never made her feel weird, he never made comments about getting more friends, or asking if some random boy who talked to her was her boyfriend. Her dad always left it alone, focusing on soccer and other college plans, it was better that way. Her mom never seemed to pick up on her fathers way of doing things and how it was so much better. She always found the just wrong times to ask awkward questions she already knew the answer too. 

Even though she hated when her mom dragged her through the mud about her social life Tobin knew she was right, she should have hung out with the soccer team, she should have gotten to know them, maybe if she did, it would have been her arm around Alex’s waist their senior year, maybe she wouldn’t feel so nervous about going on this trip. Maybe she would just being going to hang out with her girlfriend and their friends instead of trying not to throw up in her mouth while trying to figure out what they hell she was going to to do for the next three hours. 

 

—

 

Tobin walked out the house, looking back one more time, still confused by the strange conversation she had with her mother, but some of the worry melted when she was Alex standing in her driveway. Alex had on her red and white striped jersey with the number 13 on it, and a pair of navy blue shorts that showed off her long legs, the image was almost enough to take her mind off the weird conversation she just had, almost. 

“Why do you look worried?” Alex asked as she saw her girlfriend come down the porch steps, “I’m on time and everything.”

Tobin smiled, “It’s not that.” She told her as she went to put her bag in the back seat, “My mom and I just had a really weird talk.”

“Did she tell you to be safe, and to use protection?” Alex joked. 

“No way,” Tobin laughed, they got in the car and started to drive, “Though you do owe Perry dinner.”

Alex looked over to her, “What do you mean?”

“You left your dress in my room, well I should say my dress since Perry told my mom she bought it for me to wear to church. She totally covered for us and now you we owe her dinner.”

“Damn, that my favorite dress,” Alex laughed not worried about owing Tobin’s sister a meal since they planned to hang out eventually anyways. “But you have a good sister covering for you, my sisters probably would have sold me out.”

Tobin chuckled a bit, “Well, mine thinks we are having sex, so there’s that.”

Alex started to laugh, “What? Are you serious?”

“Well, you left your dress in my room, hung out all day alone in the house and left in my clothes.” Tobin answered, she had thought about it all night and came to the conclusion that it was kind of an obvious leap to make and there was no way to seriously deny it without going into a deep conversation with her older sister that she was not ready to have yet. 

She shrugged, “Yeah I guess that’s true, I mean we totally could have, we were alone.”

“We were,” Tobin said catching the odd tone Alex had. 

“Just like we will be tonight,” She said with a sly smile. 

Tobin suddenly got hot, “Uh-yeah, I guess so.”

The conversation started to trail off, Alex was talking a mile a minute about the rest of her night, and Tobin’s head was stuck on her ‘tonight’ comment. What did she mean by that? Last night Alex was adamant about not wanting to have sex even thought Tobin tried to push it to that. It was Alex who put a stop to what could have been their first time, and now she was making comments about it, had something changed over night that Tobin wasn’t aware of? First Alex wanted to go for it in the car, then she wanted to stop in Tobin’s bedroom, now she was making suggestions about the hotel room. Tobin was seriously getting whiplash from all of this sex talk. 

Before she got a chance to even wrap her head around anything they were in the parking lot, Becky, JJ and Morgan were standing by a huge black SUV talking and laughing about something. They all looked so cool, they had on their jerseys and shorts and Morgan had an American Flag draped over shoulders like a cape. It was JJ that she really took notice off, with her backwards red snapback holding back a wave of bleach blonde hair and her black untied hightop vans capping off her long legs. She was leaning against the car sipping a big gulp listening to her friends talk, her white jersey hanging off her just right making her look effortlessly cool. Damn, JJ was cool, much cooler than Tobin could ever be, and suddenly she felt like she was right back in high school.

“After the game we can all hang out and just chill,” Alex said finishing up what she was saying, when Tobin didn’t answer she looked over and saw the look on her face, “What’s wrong babe?”

Tobin couldn’t take her eyes off the cool kids she was about to have to talk to, “I don’t think I can do this.”

Alex turned in her seat, “Do what, go on the trip? Why, are you sick?”

“I don’t know,” Tobin said in a voice almost too low to her, “Maybe, I… I… I don’t think I can go out there.”

“Out where?” Alex looked over to her friends who thankfully hadn’t noticed them yet, “To the car? Why? What’s wrong Tobin?”

She felt her throat get tight, the way it always did when she needed to speak but was way too afraid to actually say what she needed to say. This was the point in time when Meghan would normally start to rant about the things going on until she actually hit the right topic that was freaking Tobin out and they would some how get through it, Alex didn’t have that yet, she didn’t know to talk until she figured it out so she stared at Tobin waiting for an answer, and she really needed one. 

“What if they hate me,” Tobin said simply.

Alex looked out to her friends, who now notice the car and waved to them. She waved back and smiled, but never turned from Tobin, “Are you talking about them? Why would they hate you?”

“Why would they like me?” Tobin answered with another question. 

“They love you,” Alex said as if it was the most obvious answer. 

Tobin looked over to her, “They don’t even know me.”

“Tobin, they’re your friends,” Alex smiled. 

“No, they’re _your_ friends.” She said quickly. “I barely know them, and they definitely don’t know me. Alex I don’t have any friends besides Kling, and well you now. I never hung out with any of them in school, they are all your friends. Morgan is your best friend, and Becky has always been the person you talk to when Morgan isn’t around, and JJ… Well JJ is…”

“My ex,” Alex cut her off, “Is that what this is about, because she and I broke up a while ago, and I don’t feel that way about her anymore. I’m with you, and you’re the only person I even think about.”

“It’s not just that,” Tobin said quickly, “I just, I don’t know, she’s so cool.”

“Who? JJ? Are you serious, she is not cool,” Alex started to laugh, “Julie is a dork, she just puts on a cool front, and even then you can see right through it. She reads Harry Potter every single year and forced me to watch all the movies in a row, more than once. She tells really bad dad jokes and laughs at all of them, even if no one else is laughing. Trust me Julie Johnson is not cool at all.”

Tobin couldn’t help but smirk, she held back telling Alex she as read the Harry Potter books multiple times, “She’s cooler than me. Everyone in school loved her.”

“That’s because she talks to everyone, like everyone, it’s a thing, she spoke to absolutely everyone in school. JJ is really sweet, like super sweet and you can’t help but like her, but that doesn’t make her this super cool chick. None of those dorks over there are cool, they’re just super likable, in a dorky endearing kind of way.” She put her hand on Tobin’s leg and gave it a little squeeze, “Don’t be intimidated by them at all, okay. Tobin Heath, do you hear me?”

She turned to look into the blue eyes of her girlfriend, “I hear you.”

“I know it’s scary, I know none of us really talked to you in school, but it didn’t mean we didn’t like you. We are really liked you and wanted to hang out with you, we always thought you didn’t really want anything to do with us. You were always off in your own little world kicking a ball around talking about going pro while we all struggled to figure out the newest trick you had mastered.”

“What?” She was confused by the strange confession. 

“Tobin Heath, every single on of us wanted to be you,” Alex said with a huge smile, “Well I wanted to be with you, but everyone else wanted to be you. Soccer was so freaking effortless for you. Every practice you would come with a new trick that was impossible to learn, you smoked everyone on the field constantly then just walked away like it was nothing. Do you know how many times we all sat around trying to figure out how you played like you do.”

Tobin shook her head, her cheeks turning red, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No, I’m not,” Alex said in the most serious voice she had, “Tobin we spent hours trying to figure out how to play like you. Moe use to keep me in my back yard until it was too dark to see trying to master moves you did on the field. Seriously she drove me fucking nuts with that. _‘Tobin did this. Tobin nutmegged her mid play. Did you see what Tobin did?’_ As much as I liked hearing about you I wanted to strangle her most nights.” Alex laughed a little lowering her head, “Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of nights on the field making JJ and Becks line up to defend against me trying to recreate a goal you made, or a pass that seemed impossible. We all wanted your skill, we all wanted to talk to you about it. I almost did a few times, I wanted to go up to you and ask you to teach me a move, but you left the field so quickly after practice and stuck to yourself after games, I always thought you just didn’t want to talk to me, or the team.”

“That wasn’t it,” Tobin said quickly. She took a deep breath, she had talked to Alex about some of this before, but she never really got deep into it, how she was at school, at games, just in life in general. She spent so much time trying to act as cool as possible she never really explained most of her actions in school, “You made me nervous, all of you did. I didn’t know how to talk, I didn’t know what to say. All I ever wanted to talk about was soccer, that’s all that really mattered to me, and Kling and I just always thought everyone would get annoyed, plus I just really had no idea how to do all those high school things. I didn’t know how to hang out, or to go to parties, or to talk about boys or girls, I had no idea how to do any of that. I knew how to talk about soccer, so that’s what I did, with Kling.”

“Babe, we would have **killed** for you to talk about soccer with us,” Alex laughed. “That’s all we really did after school too. We went back to someones house and we talked about soccer, about college, about going pro. We watched games, the NWSL, a lot of the European league, any national team game we could find. We stayed up until three watching Australia versus Japan once. I mean yeah we talked about school and boys and girls and all that crap, but we are soccer players, every single one of us wants to go pro, we may not have been as focused as you and Meghan were, but we were focused, and one of our topics was always you and anything you did on the field. Seriously I could have talked about you all night, I usually did most nights Moe had to stop me most of the time, but I would have to stop her when she went on about Kling so it was pretty even.”

Tobin started to laugh, how in the world were their worlds so similar. She and Kling spent all their nights talking about soccer and completely obsessing over the two best friends they never thought they had a chance with and now Alex was telling her she and Morgan did the same thing about them. 

“I can’t believe you were as crazy about me as I was about you,” Tobin said with a smile.

“Trust me I was…” She paused for a second and looked over to the girls standing outside, they seemed to understand that she and Tobin needed to talk and none of them approached the car, “I am going to tell you something and it stays in this car, it never leaves, it never gets said to anyone else.”

Tobin turned in her seat, “Yeah of course.”

Alex lowered her head, her hand still placed on her girlfriends leg somehow grounding her in the moment making it a little easier to admit what she was about to confess, “You’re the reason JJ and I broke up.”

Tobin almost popped out of her seat, leaning closer to talk in a whisper even though no one could hear them, “What? What do you mean.”

It wasn’t something Alex was happy to admit, it was one of things in her life that she was truly upset about. JJ was one of the best people she knew, and what took place between them never really sat right with Alex, and she hated thinking about it and practically refused to discuss it with anyone, but she felt like Tobin should know. 

“JJ and I were together for like seven months. We were really quite about it at first, I had just gotten out of the worst relationship in the world, another story for another time, and JJ was there to kind of take me out of my funk and bring me back to the real world. Like I said, she is really sweet, and she is so great and was an amazing girlfriend; I don’t think I would have made it through senior year without her. But we weren’t right for each other and we both kind of knew it, but I was more willing to acknowledge it then she was. It wasn’t like we ever thought we were destine to be together or anything, but JJ held out hope for it, and I knew it, and I always kind of felt like shit about the whole thing.

Anyways, and don’t go getting a big head about this, but I was totally obsessed with you though all of middle school and like pretty much all of high school accept when I dated that ass hole Val, which I will not get into, but I don’t know I still had this huge thing for you even when I was with Julie. You were always kind of there, looking so cute and sweet, and I always wanted to talk to you, but never did. Well, when JJ and I were together, I was into it, I was into her, I liked her a lot and we were such good friends, it felt like I was just in a really great friendship and not really in a relationship, but you were always a thing. Whenever I was coming out of my funk and turning back into me, my obsession with you kind of grew back and I didn’t do a good job at hiding it, especially during soccer season. JJ would get upset when she saw me looking at you, or if I was talking about you. She never got like super pissed until she kind of realized that it wasn’t going to stop. I tried, I really did, I wanted to be in the relationship, I wanted to be with her, but I couldn’t help myself. You were Tobin Heath and I had felt that way about you since like forever, and there was no containing it. 

JJ and I broke up a couple weeks before graduation, and she told me it was because we were going to different schools and all these weak excuses, but I found out it was because she and Moe had talked about my feelings for you and JJ decided it was better to get out of the relationship before she really got hurt. It was the the best choice for her and I knew it. Yeah it hurt getting dumped, but at the end of the day I knew I liked you. I actually wanted to talk to you at graduation, but I chicken out. 

Anyway, she I and I have talked about it before. She talked to me in the store the day after we were official and she said something about it always being you, and I kind of just shut it down, but we texted that night and talked it out. She knew it was you, she always did, so yeah.”

Tobin sat for a second trying to figure of the words to say after that confession. “How?” Was all she could get out.

“How?” Alex laughed. 

Tobin shook her head. “How in the world did you like me back then, I was so weird.”

Alex started to crack up, “Yeah, but that’s why I liked you.” She leaned across the center console and kissed her, it was soft and short because they were both laughing. “Please keep all that to yourself, JJ and I are good now, we have fallen back into that friends rhythm and I don’t want to ruin that.”

“I won’t say anything,” Tobin confirmed, “Thanks for telling me.”

“Thanks for being kind of smooth about it,” she said with a wink. “Now let’s get out there.”

Tobin followed orders, getting out the car and grabbing her bag. She wanted to talk to Alex about the whole thing, she had questions that she needed answered, but she knew it wasn’t the time. Once the trip was over, once she had won over the hearts of Alex’s friends, once she figured out how make sure she lived up to the person Alex thought she was, then she would ask the question she wanted to ask.

 

“Finally, you two done making out?” Becky asked as they made their way to the car.

“For now,” Alex responded. “Let’s get this road trip started.”

JJ opened the back hatch so they could throw their bags in with everyone else’s, Tobin took Alex’s bag and walked to the back. 

“Hey,” JJ said in a light voice. “I’m glad you’re riding with us.”

Tobin looked over to her, she could tell the blonde was being sincere with words, “Yeah, me too.” She answered with a smile, “Maybe you can help me defend The Thorns against all of Lex’s insisting The Pride is the best.”

She started to laugh, “Sorry dude, I’m all about the Red Stars, plus no one can stop Lex when she starts talking about The Pride.”

“I didn’t know you were a Red Stars fan,” Tobin said shocked, “You should talk to my friend Chris when we get up there, she’s a crazy Red Stars fan.”

“And she is super gorgeous,” Alex popped out of nowhere and raised her eyebrows at JJ. 

The blonde shook her head as she closed the back hatch, “Great, so it’s one of those trips.”

“One of what trips?” Moe asked as they started to pile in the car. 

JJ got in the drivers seat, “A set up trip, apparently Tobin’s friend Chris is super gorgeous.”

Alex sat in the third row, “Okay one, she is gorgeous, and two it’s not a set up trip, I’m just saying there are some good looking chicks on this trip and I don’t know maybe someone should try and do something about it, cough Moe and Kling cough cough, you know, just saying.”

“Okay, yeah, shut up,” Morgan laughed, “You focus on your girlfriend, and I’ll focus on getting mine.”

Becky turned around in the passengers seat, “Wait, what, you and Kling are together?”

“Not quite,” Morgan said quickly, “But I am getting there.”

“Yeah, she just has to stop being such a chicken shit about it,” Alex laughed.

“I am not chicken shit,” Morgan protested, “I’m taking my time.”

Alex leaned back in her seat, “Oh whatever you’ve had so many chances, right babe.”

Tobin realized Alex was talking to her, it was time to chime in, “Yeah I did tell you to just go for it.”

“See, you’re chicken,” Alex laughed. 

Morgan turned to face Tobin, “Uh, you suck, how dare you tell my best friend about our conversation about your best friend.”

“She never told me,” Alex corrected, “And even if she did, girlfriend trumps best friend in this scenario.”

“Girlfriend never trumps best friend,” Morgan argued. 

“Come back to me when you get a girlfriend.” 

Everyone started to laugh and Tobin instantly felt more comfortable. The conversation may have been on a topic she wasn’t really well versed on, but it was nice to be involved in it, and Alex was calling Tobin her girlfriend with such ease it made everything a hundred times better. Soon Morgan got frustrated with all the questions that was quickly turning into more of an interrogation than anything and switched the subject to soccer, something Tobin could definitely talk about. 

The trip was great, everyone was talking and laughing and Tobin actually spoke, even when she wasn’t asked a question, she would just chime in and give her opinion and everyone liked it. Of course she got poked fun of a few times, but it was always funny jabs and never anything that made her feel bad about herself. Alex was always there to defend her, or at least give her a quick kiss on the cheek whenever the burn was too good for anyone to defend. Tobin was there to to do the same whenever they would gang up on Alex talking about her past and laughing about all the things they did. Whenever Alex would cross her arms and pout, Tobin would grab her hand pulling it away from her body and kissing across her knuckles until she started to smile again, which never took long. 

They talked about high school, and Tobin was happy to learn all she could about their past, and all the things they did while Tobin was stuck in her house watching videos. Turns out Alex wasn’t just trying to make her feel better when she said they all were obsessed with soccer and practice almost as much as she and Kling did. The group spent time in each other’s back yards taking kicks, and making up crazy plays that they were never allowed to try on the field. Morgan would turn in her seat and ask Tobin about a move, and make Tobin promise to show her how to do something once they got to the game and had some space to spread out and play. 

The longer the ride, the more they talked the more Tobin felt like she was apart of the group. Suddenly she was no longer Alex’s girlfriend, she was their friends and that made her happier than she ever thought she could be. She always wanted to be part of the group, this group in particular. Playing soccer with her friends in the park was always fun, hanging out laughing and kicking the ball around was amazing but she would be kidding herself if she didn’t admit that she wanted to be apart of this group practically her entire life. 

She had grown up with them, played on a team with them since middle school, and some one them even before that. They were in her grade, they knew her since she was all knees and elbows and just learning what soccer was, and yet she was always on the outside of the group. She yearned to be in the group more than she even cared to admit to herself, and way more than she would ever say to Meghan. Tobin was happy with her life, she loved her best friend and how close they were, but looking in on this group of girls every single year, when they hung around the field after practice, when they sang in the back of the team bus, when they hopped in each other’s cars after school and drove away smiling and laughing, she wanted that too, but was always too shy to ask for it. Now she had it, and it was exactly what she always thought it would be like, only better because Alex was holding her hand, and kissing her cheek, and calling her babe, and Tobin couldn’t contain the smile she had on her face the entire drive. 

 

—

 

When they arrived at the game the rest of the group was all set up in a makeshift tailgate party with food and drinks. Everyone was hanging out kicking a ball around, and Tobin was overwhelmed by the greetings she got from everyone when she got out the car. 

“Tobs, dude, come play, I’ve missed having a challenge,” Lindsey called out as soon as Tobin stepped out the vehicle. 

Sam kicked the ball hitting Lindsey in the chest, “Oh that wasn’t a challenge.”

Tobin realized this was the first time she was getting to see her new friends since she and Alex got together. Whenever she and Meghan got into that fight about Christen she was kind of cut off from them, but no one seemed to really mention it besides telling her they missed her which made Tobin’s heart swell. She gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek and went over to kick around with the group. 

 

“Hey,” a voice called out, “I’m Hope, you must me Alex.”

Alex looked over to the other girl, she was tall with black hair and piercing eyes, “Uh, yeah, I’m Alex, this is Morgan, Becks and JJ.” She introduced herself and her friends since Tobin was too busy playing soccer to do so. 

Hope quickly introduced everyone, pointing out the girls playing soccer and offered a seat and some food to the new additions to the group. Alex would have preferred for her girlfriend to be with her, but she wasn’t shy and quickly started to talk to the the two girls sitting down. 

“I heard you’re going to Berkeley in the fall,” Hope said taking a seat next to Alex. 

“Yeah, I’ve never been to California, I’m really excited,” Alex answered. 

“You should talk to Chris, she use to live in L.A.,” Mallory said in a happy tone, “She’ll talk about it all day if you let her.”

Alex looked over to the group kicking around, she saw Christen across from Tobin, she had never really seen her in person, just a few times in passing when she went into the store, right now in the sun, her long dark hair bouncing as she played, her bright smile, Alex felt a little jealous of her. 

She had thought about this almost all night when she got home. This was the first time she was actually meeting Christen, and really seeing the girl that could have taken Tobin away from her if she really wanted to. She went on Facebook and looked her up, scrolling through her pictures and becoming increasingly insecure about how pretty she was. She sat up all night trying to figure out if her eyes were green or grey or both or some combination of absolutely beautiful, and completely worthy of getting lost in. She was mesmerizing with amazingly gorgeous brown skin and wavy dark hair and a perfect white smile. Right now she realized Christen Press was exactly what she was afraid of. The girl was tall a graceful with her kicks, and made people laugh when she spoke. She may have been off to the side, but Alex could hear her speak and her voice was smooth soft, and she spoke kind of quickly in the way that was totally adorable and made you want to hug her. Alex was lost in her, and it was starting to get under her skin. 

Last night she told herself to be cool, that she had Tobin and she had nothing to worry about, but she couldn’t help it. She told herself that if Tobin was going to be happy she had to be okay with them being friends, but she honestly hopped the two would be awkward with each other after all Tobin did kind of break her heart, but Christen was as cool as Alex dreaded she would be and she and Tobin fell into a rhythm that Alex never got the chance to have with her girlfriend. The more they kicked the ball around, the more Christen was there for all of Tobin’s passes, the more they joked both of them playing off each other like two nervous yet incredibly cute dorks, the more Alex started to get a little pissed off. 

She played soccer with Tobin for years, and yet she didn’t have that with her. Yes she and Tobin were always in sync on the field, their passes always connected and they seemed to be able to read each others runs, but she never got to joke like that with her. Alex never had to smooth unbothered Tobin on the field, she never got high fives, or cute smiles from her. She and Tobin’s soccer relationship always seemed like business, sending thumbs up for good passes, calling out each other’s names when she needed something. Their communication off the field was non verbal, just hand signals and looks, Alex never got exactly what Christen was getting right now, and everything she was going to get to the next four years. 

As much as Alex wanted to be cool about everything, to be smooth and make jokes and tell JJ to talk to the beautiful girl who seemed perfectly sweet, she just couldn’t. The thought of Christen and Tobin together for the next four years while she was across the country was burning her up inside. Without noticing she was doing it Alex was up out of her seat and walking towards the group.

She taped Tobin on the shoulder, “Hey babe, let’s walk around for a bit.”

Tobin looked over to her, “Okay, can we go in a few minutes, we are playing first to fifty catches, and I am an at forty-four,” Tobin said catching the ball on her foot then sending it over to Sam.

Alex let out a loud breath, “Well can it be first to forty-four because I kind of want to go now.”

Tobin looked over at her, “Kind of defeats the purpose of first to fifty if we stop at forty-four.” She chuckled. 

“Fine you keep playing your game, I’m going to walk around. Come find me when you get to fifty.” She walked away not letting Tobin answer. 

Tobin looked over to the group who had stopped kicking the ball, “That was bad, wasn’t it?”

Lindsay spoke up for the group, “Yeah dude, you should probably follow her.”

Launching the ball over to center of the group Tobin ran after Alex, catching her just as she was making her way through a row of cars. She grabbed Alex’s shoulder and tried to stop her from walking away.

“Lex, what’s going on?” She asked.

Alex turned around and saw the hurt look in Tobin’s eyes, she had no idea what took Alex to this point, instead of just apologizing for her obvious overreaction Alex dug in. “You literally would rather play a game than walk around with me.”

“I never said that,” she answered quickly, her confusion starting to grow, “I just said I wanted to finish because we were almost done.”

“Yeah and while you were playing your game you just left me there with your friends, you know that ones I don’t know, the ones that could possibly hate me.” She had no idea where her words were coming from, but they were out there now and she had to deal with it. 

Tobin shook her head, “Why would they hate you?”

“Because they are all her friends, and I am the evil girl who stole you out from under her, and stopped you from playing soccer.”

“Woo, okay, slow down,” Tobin put her hands on Alex’s shoulders trying to calm her down. She realized who she was talking about and needed to explain. “First of all, you didn’t steal me out from under Chris, I wanted to be with you, everyone understands that. Second you didn’t stop me from playing soccer, Kling and I were in a fight, that was one of the main reasons why I didn’t go to soccer for a while.”

“That was my fault too,” she could feel tears stating to build up behind her eyes.

“No Lex, that was my fault,” Tobin pulled her in for a hug, “This was all my fault, if they are going to hate anyone, it’s me. No one hates you I promise.”

Pressing her face into Tobin’s shoulder Alex started to let go of her fear. No one had given any indication that they didn’t like her, she didn’t really give them a chance to leaving before she really got to know any of them, but they all seemed really friendly. Besides she was pretty sure the only people who really knew what happened was Meghan and Christen, and Meghan hated her for different reasons and Christen seem perfectly happy. She was over reacting, her insecurity was getting the best of her, and she was projecting these ideas onto Tobin, who was sweet and loving and trying her hardest to make everything okay.

Alex pulled away just enough to look up at her, “I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous.”

“No, you’re not,” Tobin answered quickly.

“You’re sweet, but I am being ridiculous.” She said wiping the single tear she allowed to find its way out. “I just freaked myself out, I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Trust me, if anyone knows about freaking themselves out it’s me,” she said with a big smile, “Don’t worry about everyone okay, they are going to love you. How can they not?”

“Oh I don’t know maybe I freak out on their favorite person and pull her away from her game in a completely dramatic way.”

Tobin tilted her chin, “You think I am their favorite person?”

Alex slapped her on the shoulder, “If you’re not than they are crazy.” She leaned in kissed her, “Because you’re my favorite person.”

“You’re in second for me,” Tobin chuckled. 

“What, who’s first?”

“Ashlyn, she’s a pro soccer player, she has to be my first,” she said as if it was the most obvious answer. 

Alex thought for a second, “Fine, I can accept that, but once we are both pros, I have to become your favorite.”

“That’s a fair enough deal,” she said with a smile, “Now do you wanna walk around or what?”

“Do you want to go finish your game?”

“No, I was killing them, I think we all know I would have won and no one can take that away from me.”

 

The two of them walked around, pointing out different groups of people and talking about all the players on the backs of the jerseys people were wearing. Tobin had been to a national team game before, but it was with her parents and they showed up a half hour before the game started and headed straight into the stadium without stopping to check out the scene, and it was in fact a scene. People were siting around drinking beer and cooking food, loud music was playing and someone was always shouting about something. A group of guys had their shirts off and were painting things on their chest while a group of teenage girls were looking on giggling and whispering. Towards the front of the stadium sponsored events were taking place, a professional DJ was playing music and monster energy drink was giving out free cans of pure sugar and caffeine that no one in the crowd needed. The more they walked they happier she was to be doing this instead of standing back there with everyone else. It was fun kicking around and talking, but this was a site Tobin didn’t want to miss. 

They started to let people in an hour before the game started, Tobin got a text that the group was starting to move towards the gate, so she and Alex headed over to meet them. The entire group was bouncing off the walls waiting to be let in. 

“Tobin,” Sam called as they walked up. She kicked the ball over to her. 

Tobin let the ball hit her chest and bounce in front of her. She kicked it up juggling a few times with her feet then kicked it back. Lindsey cut in front of Sam and trapped the ball doing a few tricks before sending it back to Tobin. After Tobin was done showing off for a few seconds she looked up to see Alex a few feet away from her with her hand up, with a huge grin Tobin sent the ball over to her. 

Alex trapped her ball letting it bounce, then quickly flicking it in the air and catching it on her head and balancing it for a few seconds before letting it fall and kicking it over to Sam. She looked over to Tobin who was watching her. She may not have had that solid soccer relationship with Tobin that everyone else seemed to be developing, but she had time to get one, it may have been only for the summer, but she needed it. Tobin was her girlfriend and soccer was the biggest thing in both their lives, if she was going to be completely happy and make sure Tobin was happy she needed to really play with her, she needed to find that carefree part of her so she could have that carefree part of Tobin. 

Everyone continued to kick the ball around while Hope and Christen stood in line, eventually calling them over, handing out tickets. The stadium was filled, even on this hot summer day everyone was packed in, wearing their jerseys and scarfs and flags draped over their backs. The lines for food were long, and the lines for beer were longer. Kids were running around screaming, parents were trying to catch all of them. Older people were standing around drinking and laughing. Tons of teens were in groups trying to look as cool as possible in this time away from their parents and restrictions. 

The group quickly found their seats, they were so close it was insane. Hope found seats right in the middle, the fifth and sixth row, they could see the whole field, and for the first time Tobin felt the vastness of it all. The field was huge, bigger than she even remembered, the grass was incredibly green and the lines on the field where so white it was almost blinding. She looked over at the little red corner flag, that was were she would be one day, taking a corner sending the ball into a giant group of bodies all trying to get to it. She was going to be on the field one day, this was going to be her field, her home, and all she could think was she couldn’t wait for it to happen, and everyone with her be on that field with her. 

The group broke off to use the bathroom and get food and drinks, Tobin elected to stay in her seat, she didn’t want to miss a single second of starring out onto the field. Meghan sat next to her, unmoving the way she had been their whole lives. 

“It’s so big,” Tobin said not taking her eyes off the field. 

Meghan nodded, “Yeah, it’s huge, and so green.”

“The greenest thing in the whole world,” she agreed. “I can’t wait to be down there.”

“Me either,” she gasped. “It’ll be me and you dude, just us down there, dominating like we always have.”

Tobin heard the tone in her voice, she heard the guarded and unsureness of it. Meghan was making a point, she was trying to let Tobin know that she was still feeling a little lost in their friendship, and if Tobin was being honest with herself, she felt it too. They had been separated for only a day, but they had been distant with each other for weeks, and it didn’t feel right. Not having Meghan there for everything that was going on in her life made all the events feel almost unreal like maybe they didn’t even happen if she didn’t get a chance to talk about it with her best friend. She knew what the problem was, she knew Meghan didn’t like Alex, or she liked Alex just not the fact that they were together, but that was a problem she felt Meghan just needed to get over. Maybe this wasn’t the time to bring it up, but they were alone, and both so awestruck by the field and the sound of the stadium that it almost felt like this was the exact right moment to bring it up.

“I can’t wait to be down there with you,” she paused for a second taking a deep breath, “And Lex, and Morgan.” She saw her friends jaw set. “You know the whole group.” She added in. 

Meghan turned to face her friend, “Why does she have to be in everything we do now?” The question came out really harsh, maybe more than she intended. 

“Because she is my girlfriend and I really like her,” Tobin tried to keep herself calm, “I know Alex can be a little…”

“In our shit,” she snapped. 

“I was going to say a lot, but that’s the thing, she’s not in ‘our’ shit Kling, she’s in my shit, and she should be, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Yeah but you are my best friend, and I was here first, she’s taking all my spots.” Those were the words that she was holding back, and it felt good to just say them.

Tobin lowered her head, she now understood why her best friend was so angry. Alex was there all the time now, she was doing things that she use to do with Meghan. She was hanging out with her all day, going out with her at night and playing soccer with her. Not to mention, Tobin was completely taken out of the soccer group, though that was not Alex’s doing, that was their own stupidity that caused that. Still, she needed to fix this, it was the only way they were ever going to be okay. 

“No one can take your spot,” she reached over and put in her hand on Meghan shoulder, “You’re my best friend dude, my sister, there is no one in this whole world that could ever take any spot you occupy, it’s just impossible. I will never have anyone in my life that means what you mean to me. Do you really think I could ever replace you?”

Meghan swallowed, her throat was tight, her heart beating heavy in her chest, “I didn’t think so, but the closer you and Alex get the further away I feel. It’s just like she is everywhere with you all the time and you have no time for me anymore.”

“Dude, do you know why she’s like that?” Tobin laughed a little now knowing how simple of a problem this all was, “Alex is moving across the country, she’s leaving in a few months and I am not going to see her for months, that’s why she is like this. She has been trying to find me in the exact same way I have been trying to find her and now we are finally together and we only have a summer.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Dude, Alex and Morgan have been trying to figure out how to date us, the same way we have been trying to figure out how to date them. You know if weren’t such complete losers in high school we could have been with them a long time ago. We were so nervous and awkward we never noticed them trying to talk to us, and get to know us.”

Confused, Meghan lowered her eyebrows, “You’re joking right, I mean, why would they like us?”

“I have no idea, but it’s true, Alex told me,” Tobin started to laugh, “I need you to do me a huge favor and open your eyes. Morgan likes you, like a whole lot, and she is trying to be cool about it, and your so caught up in hating Alex that you’re missing it.”

Meghan looked around as if someone might be listening in on their conversation, “Morgan likes me?”

“Yeah, dude, she talked to me about it the other day,” Tobin said with confidence. “Trust me, when you finally stop freaking out and make your move, you are going to be in the same boat as me, trying to spend as much time with her as possible before you two are separated again. That’s all I’m trying to do, you know, just get as much time as possible with Lex, until we have to be apart. I’ve been waiting practically my whole life for this, and I want it to get as much of it as I can before it’s gone for months. I’m not trying to replace you and neither is Lex. She’s actually really upset that you hate her so much, she really wants to be your friend.”  
“Why would she want to be my friend?” Meghan scoffed. 

“Because you’re my best friend and she loves me.” 

“Wait, she what?” She sat up straighter in her chair, “She said that? She said she loves you?”

Tobin lowered her head, she didn’t mean to say that, the words kind of flew out without her telling her mouth to say them. “No, she hasn’t said it yet, but I think she would, you know, if I said it.”

“Do you want to say it?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, “I mean, I think I feel it, you know, I mean, I have no idea how it feels, I’ve never felt it before, but I think it feel it now. It’s too soon, we’ve only been together for a few weeks, but I can feel something, I don’t know, more than I have felt anything else. I don’t know it’s hard to explain. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, I don’t want to jinx anything or do something stupid, but I don’t know, I think I feel it.”

Meghan nodded, “Well I have no idea what you mean because I’ve never felt it before expect for like family members but there’s a big difference between romantic love and family love. But if all the books and movies are right, there’s no time line on it and you can feel it as soon or as late as you want. But I can see why you wouldn’t want to say it, you know until your absolutely sure that’s what you feel. You don’t want to go around throwing a word like that out there and be wrong about it.”

“I just want it all to be okay, you know. I want her to be happy, and I want you to be happy…”

“Dude, I’m happy.” She interrupted her, “I’ve been a jerk. Honestly at first I thought it was my fault Chris was so sad, because I was the one who told her to go for you, then I was pissed because I thought Alex was trying to push me out of your life, but I get it now. I understand that Chris was going to be hurt whether or not I was pushing her, maybe not as much as she was, but she would have still been upset about it. But she’s okay now, you know, we’ve talked about it a few times and she seems a lot better, so I’m not too worried about that. And I get that Alex just wants to spend time with you before we all head our separate ways for school. I was being an ass hole and I was so angry it was like I couldn’t stop. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Tobin said with a smile. “I should have thought about all that was going on and I should have let you process the way you needed to. I know Chris will be okay, I hate that I hurt her, but I know she’ll be okay. Can I ask you to do something?”

“Yeah, dude, anything.”

“Can you be nice to Lex now, she is really torn up about you not liking her.”

Meghan chuckled, “Yeah, I’ll stop being a jerkoff. You know I don’t hate Alex, she makes it hard to hate her, she’s super freaking nice.”

“Right!” She laughed, “Thanks dude, you know I like love you and all that stupid mushy emotional crap.”

“Yeah I have the same feelings towards you.” She held out her hand.

Tobin took her friends hand and shook it one good time before they both started to crack up and pulled each other in for a hug. That was all they needed to say, their problems were worked out. It was going to take Meghan a little bit to adjust to their new life, but she was willing to do it, especially if it meant she got her friend back. They both needed each other and now they could go back to how they were, maybe now Tobin could talk to her best friend about all the craziness that was popping up in her life. 

 

The group came back, sliding back into the seats and talking loudly. Alex sat down next to Tobin and handing her a basket of fires. 

“Have warm up’s started?” She asked.

“Not yet,” Tobin answered shoving fries in her mouth. 

Meghan leaned over, “Tobin would be freaking out a lot more if she saw warm ups.”

Alex was taken back by the girl talking to her, “Uh, yeah you’re right, I guess she would probably be a mess right now.”

“She might even get thrown out the game from climbing on the field to try and touch Abby Wambach.”

“I think we are going to have to hold her back,” Alex replied with a laugh.

“No,” Tobin said her mouth still filled with fries, “I’m going to watch the game, then run on the field. I’m not stupid enough to get banned before I see the game.”

“At least she’s got that going for her,” Meghan laughed. 

It seemed like it was that easy, a couple of sentences exchanged and the tension between her best friend and her girlfriend was gone. Alex looked happy, and Meghan was more than happy especially since Morgan was sitting beside her. This was going to be the best trip she had ever taken. 

 

The game was starting, everyone stood up and listened to the national anthem of New Zealand, when the Start Spangled Banner Played everyone seemed to stand a little straighter, it seemed like maybe everyone was feeling the same way Tobin was feeling, like they couldn’t wait to get on that field and hear that song play for them. When the anthems were over and everyone was sitting down watching the team take the field conversations erupted. Everyone had something to say about the line up, the formation, and everything else. For the first time Tobin felt completely at home. 

The game started a little slow, New Zealand was digging in hard and had a lot of possession. The US back line was in particularly good form, always getting the ball and sending it up the field. JJ spent most of her time leaning forward talking to Meghan and Becky about the line and how they all moved together in a seamless fashion. Hope was chiming in every few plays about the whole field and how she saw the movements and what she would call for, she almost came out of her seat when a particularly good shot bounced off the post. 

Lindsey was sitting behind Tobin and was almost non stop about the midfield, and of course Tobin was right back with her, agreeing about her play ideas, and talking about where everyone should be moving. Every once and an while Morgan would lean across Meghan and tell Tobin a few things. Alex had made friends with Mallory and was happily in a conversation about the front line and giving the younger girl as much advise as she could about runs and plays. Christen and Sam were kind of off in their own world talking about the differences in plays whenever the formation started to break down. 

All the talk came to a holt when the US tried to score and the ball took a deflection off the New Zealand goal keepers hands sending it off for a corner. Tobin sat on the edge of her seat, studying every move Abby Wambach made as she line up for the corner kick. The stadium was a live with noise, drums being played, people screaming, chants all over, as the kick was ready and Abby raised her hand. The bend on the ball was almost perfect, sending it right in the middle of the crowd of bodies, out of the crowd a white jersey was in the air and the ball was headed into the net. And explosion of noise happened, everyone was up off their feet jumping around screaming. It only took a few seconds for chants of U.S.A. to take over and it was electric, you couldn’t help but scream along. The US was up 1-0 and everything in the world felt right. 

 

The game went on with not a lot of crazy action happening before the half time whistle was blown and everyone got up to use the bathroom and get some food. Alex was standing in line with Tobin and Meghan, all of them talking through the first half as if they had all been friends for years and their had never been a problem between them. 

“The back line is killing it out there,” Alex said happily, “This game would definitely be a different story if they weren’t so strong.”

Meghan smiled, “Everyone knows it’s all about the back line. You strikers think everything is about you because you score some points, but we are the most important.”

“I can kind of admit that,” Alex laughed, “But don’t tell anyone I said it.”

“Well, seeing as you’re both wrong I don’t think you have to worry,” Tobin chimed in, “Midfield is the most important. We take it from the back line and bring it up the field, because you defenders are too slow to get it there, and forwards are too lazy to come back. Without us the game would just be you defenders launching the ball up hoping some random forward on their team catches it.”

Both of them looked at each other and then back to Tobin and said in sync, “Shut up.”

As they got back in their seats Tobin was happy to see them really getting along, not just talking for the sake of talking, but actually meaning what they said to each other. Finally she could have her girlfriend and her best friend and there be no issue. They waited for the team to take the field and the rest of the group trickled into the their seats. 

“Hey Kling,” Lindsey called out as she sat down, “You know those chicks we met at the park?”

Meghan turned around in her seat, “You mean those chicks you forced me to talk to, yeah I remember.”

“Well they want to hang out tonight, and Hope wants to invite those guys from the barbecue last night. Plus there’s some super awesome people here that are staying in the same hotel we are and they all want to hang too.”

Meghan lowered her eyebrows, “What are you trying to say to me?”

“I’m trying to say, we are having a fucking party, dude,” Lindsey got a huge smile on her face, “Get ready to rage my friend.”


	23. House Party (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group get's ready for the party. Christen and Tobin share a moment that leads to some good stuff after the party ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Preath Part of the story. This is were it gets a smutty so be pre warned. 
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> If you are looking for Talex, that's the next chapter.

The crowd outside the game was louder than before, the US won 2-0 and everyone was pumped up. The parking lot was a wash with people waving flags and cracking open beers, most people were standing in the middle of the parking lot chanting and beating on everything they could get their hands on that made a drum-like sound, it almost seemed like a party in itself, but one that would probably get out of hand pretty soon, so instead of sticking around to witness the eventual collapse the group piled in their two cars and headed for the hotel.

Traffic was of course a mess, people not taking direction from the parking attendants, pedestrians in the street not looking where they were going, and the general annoyances that come with driving after a big event. Christen was all tense by the time they made it onto an open road, but everyone else was practically bouncing out their seats.

“Did they say what kind of party it’s going to be?” Sam asked.

Lindsey shook her head, “They said the local schools soccer team was having a party, but the house is on a street with a bunch of frat and sorority houses so usually they grow pretty quickly. I’m guessing it’s going to be pretty typical. They said not to worry about booze that they have it all covered.”

“Does, ‘have it covered mean’ a keg in the back of the house with nasty beer, or does it mean they really have it covered?” Sam asked with a little bit of attitude.

“I don’t know dude,” Lindsey laughed, “Tobin and I just met these girls in the park, and they invited us to a party after the game, that’s all the information I got.”

Sam crossed her arms, “Fine, Lindsey is no longer allowed to make party plans for the group.”

“That probably should have been the rule before she committed us to a random party at some random house just so she can get laid,” Christen chimed it.

“Hey man, not all of us get to have a girl just built into this scenario,” she responded leaning forward, “Some of us have to work for it.”

The conversation continued staying on the topic of the party. Everyone was discussing what they were going to do and what they were going to wear when Tobin had a realization, she had no idea what to wear to a party, she didn’t prepare for this at all. She listened to the rest of the car, who didn’t seem like they had the same problem, Christen and Sam were talking about how to do their make up and Lindsey was frantically asking if anyone had seen an iron in the hotel suite, Tobin was the only one frozen because she opted to only bring some t-shirts and jeans. 

When they got to the hotel everyone was in almost full sprint to get to the suite first and jump in one of the showers. Hope went over to the suite from last night and invited the guys to the party, something everyone made fun of her for before they ran into the room. Soon everyone was closed up in their rooms, picking out clothes, doing make up and getting ready.

Tobin let Christen shower first, she had to do her make up which took longer than Tobin throwing on some clothes, plus she needed time to stair down at what she brought with her in order to try and find a combination that worked. Christen came out the bathroom in a black band t-shirt with no sleeves and arm holes big enough that you could see her bra from the side, something Tobin couldn’t pay attention to right now even though her eyes were drifting to the black lace. She had on a pair of tight, light blue skinny jeans with a hole on the knee, her hair was still wet, but she looked amazing, Tobin had to pry her eyes away in order to focus on the task at hand, finding herself something cool to wear. 

Christen looked over at her girlfriend who was staring down at a bunch of clothes piled on the bed. Tobin was studying each piece, her arms crossed and her lips pressed together, something was bothering her.

"What's going on babe?" Christen asked taking her girlfriend out of the deep thoughts she was clearly having.

Tobin sighed, "I didn't pack anything for a party." She turned to her, "I thought it was going to be just us hanging out, I didn't think we'd do anything after the game."

Christen could feel the tension building up in side her, "Do you not want to go, because we don't have to."

"No, I want to," she answered quickly. Tobin lowered her head, she knew what she had to do and it wasn't going to be fun. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Christen answered with a soft smile.

She took a deep breath, "I've never been to a party before."

Christen looked at her for a second, studying her worried face, "Babe... I know."

Her eyes now wide she asked, "How do you know?"

"Because whenever we talk you never talk about your other friends, you never talk about doing things in school, it's always about you and Meghan. You two practically already confirmed that you never hung out with anyone but each other, I kind of just figured you'd never been to a party." She leaned over and kissed her cheek, "Besides you and Kling don't seem like to type to go drinking and pass out on someone's couch."

Tobin shook her head giving her girlfriend a loving smile, "No we’re definitely not those types of people."

Christen looked down at the clothes Tobin had pulled out. They were not typical party clothes, whenever she imagined them hanging out at college she always saw Tobin in a button up or a casual yet cool T-shirt, or maybe flaunting a soccer jersey, but she could work with the items laid out here. She picked up a grey t-shirt, it was plain and Tobin was probably going to use it to sleep in, but it was a little thicker than a normal shirt and the collar was a little wider, so it would work. She had a nice pair of skinny jeans, dark blue with a few faded spots to make them look worn, these would work. She reached over to her own bag and brought out her black leather belt with the shiny stainless steel buckle, it was one of those items she always brought just in case, and it would work perfectly with the rest of Tobin’s casual outfit.

"Here put these on and wear the black converse and your hair down,” She said putting the clothes in Tobin’s hand.

Tobin looked down, it was a combination that was pretty simple, she wasn't completely confident it would work, but Christen seemed calm and cool about it so she did what she was told. 

She went in the bathroom and turned on the shower. The bathroom started to fill up with steam almost immediately, the mirror was already fogged up from when Christen was in there. Tobin looked in the shower, Christen had her shampoo, conditioner and body wash neatly stacked in the corner, a towel was hanging on the hook on the back of the door. The sink had a brush and a comb both placed in the corner, and a pink tooth brush a tube of toothpaste with the bottom rolled up. This was how Christen was; neat and clean and organized, she was the type to roll her toothpaste when she used it, Tobin was not. Normally Tobin had everything kind of just everywhere. Her bathroom was never just her own, but even then her stuff was placed all over the place, and her toothpaste was always squeezed from the middle and the cap went missing after the first few days of using it. Tobin thought about sharing a bathroom with this immaculately clean person, she was definitely going to have to work on keeping everything neat. 

She jumped in the shower, placing her own body wash and shampoo in the opposite corner. The hot water ran down her face and she tried to keep herself as calm as possible. This was her first party. The last time she went to any kind of gathering was when she was seven and Meghan had a birthday party, but even then it was just the two of them and some of Meghan’s cousins that were in from Pittsburg, it was not a party at all. They never tried to go to any other type of party, Tobin even stayed upstairs when Katie had a graduation party, though she did sneak down a few times to pile pigs in a blanket on her plate so she could eat it while she watched TV. She had seen parties on movies, heard people talking about them in the halls of her school, but going to one was going to be so much different. Hopefully it was as great as everyone made it out to be. 

 

Wiping off the fogged mirror she looked at herself in her makeshift party clothes. She opted out of washing her hair because it would take hours to dry and she didn’t want to go through all that whenever her stomach was fluttering and her head was all over the place. The shirt was nice, it was originally supposed to be a sleep shirt, but she slept half naked last night and never used it. She liked the jeans, a pair Perry picked out, and the belt kind of put the finishing touches making her look less like she just through something on and more like she planned this. All in all she didn’t look half bad, at least she didn’t look as bad as she usually did.

Tobin walked out the bathroom with her arms out from her side, "Well?"

Christen turned around and studied her girlfriend, she looked over on the bed and grabbed her black hat walking over and placing it on her head the bill facing forwards and tilted up. "You look hot."

Her cheeks turned flush, "No way."

"Yeah babe, you do," she put her arms around her neck leaning in to kiss her.

The kiss was more heated than Tobin expected, she could feel Christen pulling her in so she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer until their fronts were flush. Suddenly she could feel Christen’s tongue gently trying to gain access so Tobin opened her mouth a little more and let the kiss deepen. Her skin started to get warm as Christen’s hands were on her face touching her jaw line, then going down her neck, her shoulders, down her arms tightening on her triceps pulling on her enough to make her hands fall from Christens waist and settle on her ass. She had never done this before, but it was amazing and it only served to make Christen kiss her harder. Tobin had no idea how to react, was she supposed to do more, were her hands supposed to just sit there? She wasn't allowed to be in her head for long, because her girlfriends arms were around her neck again pulling them even closer, if that was even possible, and the heat that Tobin felt was now a fire and her hands automatically squeezed down and her mind exploded with ideas.

For the first time the idea of actually being with Christen wasn't just a small thought in the back of her head that freaked her out, it was real. The way they were kissing, there tongues rolling over each other, she could taste her and she wanted more. Their bodies were pressed together and Tobin realized it was because she was pulling them together, her hands were a force keeping them smashed up against each other, feeling each others body heat, and god was Christen warm, she was hot, she was on fire. 

Tobin shifted just a bit, her body trying to get as close as possible, she didn't notice her leg move so it was placed right between Christen’s leg, but when she heard the low moan come from her girlfriends mouth shivers shot up her spine. It was a simple sound, almost inaudible, but it served to shock Tobin down to her core, and now she wanted to hear that sound again. She moved her leg again, this time pushing forward, trying to find some way to coax out the sound she wanted to hear, but that move got another reaction.

"Fuck babe,” Christen whispered licking into Tobin’s mouth. 

Christen tighten her hold on her neck and pushed her body in to feel that contact again. This was something she never had with Tobin, they were gentle with each other, simple even, slight touches here and there would give her chills but right down she was shaken to her core and she wanted more, but her mind stopped her body. 

"Tobin, we gotta stop,” She said kissing her one more time, getting one more taste of her lips. "We gotta quit babe,” She put her hands on her chest and pushed away.

"Why?" Tobin asked a little out of breath.

Christen studied her girlfriend, the bright brown eyes almost black from her blown pupils, her lips now dark pink and wet, her cheeks flush. Her immediate thought was to go lock the door and push this incredibly sexy girl on the bed and finish what they had started, but in her mind she knew it wasn't time. Tobin looked ready, she seemed ready, she felt incredibly ready, but Christen couldn't help think back to the other night in the car when her shy loving girl was most definitely not ready, and as much as she wanted to finally have this moment she knew Tobin was not as ready as her body was saying she was. No, this beautiful girl pulling out moves she didn't even know she had, she wasn't ready for the whole thing, so Christen had to put a stop to it.

"We have a party to get to," Christen answered playfully. She leaned in closer and planted a quick kiss on Tobin’s now swollen lips, “Now, go put your shoes on and go see if everyone else is ready to go. I just need five minutes to fix the makeup you just messed up."

Tobin chuckled a bit, she had never messed up makeup before so she felt kind of proud, "Okay, I'll be out there." 

Christen watched her walk away, closing the door over behind her. When she knew Tobin was down the hall, she sat down on the bed, putting her hands in her hair and taking a deep breath. Her mind was racing, they were taking huge steps, and she wasn't sure if it was because Tobin was ready for these steps or if it was because she just wanted to be ready so much she was rushing it. The last thing she wanted was for Tobin to rush into something she wasn't ready for. She had to make a choice, right then to cool her jets with Tobin, not push their kisses too far, not move up the timeline that Tobin probably didn't know she had. Christen was the one with experience on her side and she would not let Tobin do anything she wasn't ready for, she took another deep breath and promised herself to keep it simple tonight, to not get carried away even though every time they kissed she wanted to make it more, she promised to keep it clean tonight, no matter how hard it would be.

 

Tobin walked out to the living room, Lindsey, Sam and Meghan were waiting. She went over to her friends and joined in on the conversation, they were talking about the game and the amazing second point Abby Wambach scored in the beginning of the second half sealing the win for the US. Tobin was happy to talk about soccer but her mind was still on the room, that kiss, that sound, she wanted to have all that again, she wanted to kiss Christen and never stop. Her head was spinning, her body felt like it was on pins and needles, she just wanted to feel Christen’s skin again, taste her lips. She had never felt this way and it was overwhelming.

"Tobs, what did you think of the second half?" Sam asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

Tobin looked over at her friends waiting for her answer, "Oh, it was awesome, we finally got some real possession, and that last goal was perfect."

"That's what I was saying," Lindsey chimed in. "We were getting dominated in the first have it had to be like 70/30 in possession, but that second half went in our favor."

"For sure," Tobin confirmed, she look over at Meghan who seemed to be studying her face. "What?" She asked.

Meghan stepped a little closer squinting her eyes, "Are you wearing lipstick?"

Tobin touched her thumb to her lips, "What, no dude."

"Sorry, your lips are just super pink," Meghan shrugged

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "Yeah, well don't look at my lips, it's weird."

"You know who wears pink lips stain?" Sam wiggled her eyebrows, "Chris."

Tobin realized what she was saying, Sam was calling her out on making out with Christen. Tobin's cheeks turned a bright red as she turned around, "Shut up, everyone stop looking at my lips."

"Why are people looking at your lips?" Christen laughed as she came down the hall.

"Cause you two were making out and you stained her lips," Lindsey called out loud enough so everyone who was coming down the hall could hear.

Christen studied the now thoroughly embarrassed Tobin, her lips were a little pinker than usual and it was the same shade she wore. She reached up and touched her bottom lip and giggled, “Aw, I did stain your lips. It’s okay babe they’re just jealous."

"Yeah I am," Lindsey called out, "And that's why I am taking my wingman tonight, the rest of us need our lips to get stained."

"You're a loser," Sam laughed giving Lindsey a little shove.

 

Soon the group was ready to go, it seemed like everyone else had prepared in some way to go out because they all looked great. Everyone had on nice jeans and casual cool shirts, Tobin wondered if the party was something they all instinctively knew was going to happen, and maybe if she was cool she would have known too. Even Meghan had on a black shirt with three buttons in the front, maybe even she knew to bring nice clothes on this trip. Still Tobin didn’t feel completely lame, Lindsey was in a t-shirt like her, only hers had a picture of a dog eating a taco on it, but she had the goofy personality to pull off a shirt like that, Tobin could never look cool in that shirt. At the end of the day Tobin knew she had the coolest thing in the whole group, she had Christen who was hugging her arm, no matter what everyone else said or what they wore she had a gorgeous girl on her arm and that automatically made her cool.

They all piled into the two cars, JJ didn't drink so she agreed to drive one car and Mallory was volunteered to be the driver of the other, it was the only way Hope would let her go to the party, that and JJ promising to never take her eyes off her the entire time. 

 

—

 

The party was only fifteen minutes or so away, the drive was marked with four really strange songs being played by Sam who took the front seat. Everyone was singing along, Tobin had no idea what the songs were, even if she did she was too focused on Christen's hand on her leg to think about singing along. Before she knew it hey were parked just down the street from a huge house with people hanging out on the front lawn and music so loud they could make out every note from far away.

The group was walking together towards the house when Lindsey put her arm around Tobin’s shoulders, "Alright dude I'm going to need you in there."

"Uh, what if I need her in there?" Christen protested holding tight to her girlfriends arm.

"Oh come on CP, I need my wingman," Lindsey cried.

Christen chuckled, "Oh, and I don't need my girlfriend?"

"No, you don't," she responded simply, "Think of it this way dude, you two are together, Tobs is a lock for you, a sure thing, so you should lend her out for a while so she can help others get what she's already got."

Tobin looked at her confused, "What are you talking about?"

"Bruh, I'm talking about you being 100% guaranteed to get laid tonight so your girlfriend needs to be a bro and let you hang with me so I have a chance." 

Tobin didn't know what to say, she could feel herself starting to turn red again, luckily Christen stepped in.

"How do you know it's a guarantee? What if she has to work for it?" She laughed, "You have no idea, maybe playing your wingman is going to lower her chances."

Tobin was just shocked she even had chances, or was Christen just joking?

"Uh, nope I saw they way you two were looking at each other last night, and ol'pink lips over here really gave it away. I'm going to go ahead and say the only way the Tobster messes up is by getting piss drunk and passing out again."

"Thanks dude," Tobin exclaimed pushing the overly enthusiastic girl. "Maybe I don't want to help you, maybe I think you're beyond help." She said falling into the new rhythm she had with her friends.

Lindsey fake gasped, "I don't need you Toby, it's just easier if I have you."

"Yeah right," Tobin laughed, "You so need me."

The rest of the group started to chime in taking Tobin's side, telling Lindsey how much she needed her, laughing and having fun. Tobin was happy to have this whole new group with a completely different dynamic, it was an adjustment but it was a fun one. If she was still her old self and not the new and improved Tobin she made a promise to be she would have been completely embarrassed and taken back by Lindsey’s comments on her and Christen possibly having sex later, but new Tobin took it in stride and sounded cool, after all, maybe she did have a chance tonight.

 

The party was loud, the music blasting from large speakers placed in the front of the house. Outside on the lawn sounded almost the same as the inside of the house, the bass thumbing so hard it rattled your chest, but no one seemed to mind, in fact everyone was having fun. A few of the girls they met at the game greeted them hugging each everyone as if they had known each other for years, the directed them to the kitchen where they could get drinks and everyone herded to the only room that had remotely good lighting.

The seasoned vets, the cool kids of the group, already knew what to do. They all grabbed red plastic cups and started pouring different liquids into them mixing things together, things Tobin hadn't heard of before. Her mother and father weren't big drinkers, there was never really any alcohol in the house, her dad had the occasional six pack and her mom had a few bottles of wine, but the only time she knew about them drinking hard liquor was at holiday parties even then they never explained what they were drinking, so Tobin had no idea what to pick and what to stay away from. From her experience last night she did know she wasn't a huge fan of beer so maybe not that, but all the stuff with their colorful labels and all the different colored liquids inside the odd shaped bottles were an overwhelming mystery to her so she kind of stood off to the side and waited.

"Hey y'all gather around," Morgan called out, she was pouring clear liquid into small clear plastic cups, kind of like the ones the dentist gives you to rinse your mouth. "We are taking a shot."

The group all came around and grabbed a tiny cup, Hope was the one to push the cup into Tobin’s hand. Tobin looked around and saw everyone was holding the cups up so she did the same, she was just going to have to pretend she knew what she was doing.

"Okay," Morgan said holding her cup up higher then everyone else, "To old friends, new friends, and every single one of us wearing the red white and blue together. Cheers."

Everyone held up their cup in cheers and pushed their hands in so they touched, Tobin followed suit. Then they all drank the drink, fast, so Tobin followed suit. Whatever was in the cup as disgusting and burned her throat, she started to cough.

"Oh god, that's horrible," She said through coughs.

Christen turned to her, "Not a vodka fan huh?" She laughed.

Tobin shook her head, "No, that sucked."

"Here I'll make you something,” She turned around and started pouring something into a cup then she topped it off with a coke and handed it to Tobin, "Take a sip of this."

Hesitant, Tobin took a small sip, surprisingly it tasted pretty good, just like coke but with a strong bite at the end, "Thats pretty good."

"Good, it's Jack and Coke," she turned around and made herself a drink pouring more liquor in her cup than she did Tobin’s. "So here's the rules," she said pushing Tobin away from the group, "Do not let anyone outside of our group make you a drink, don't take a drink from randos even if its just shots, and probably don't eat those brownies."

Tobin looked over to the pile of brownies on the counter, "I get the drink thing, but why can't I have brownies?"

"Just please trust me babe," Christen said kissing her cheek.

 

—

 

They had been at the party long enough for the group to break off into smaller groups. Alex and Morgan pulling Meghan and Sam over to a table to play beer pong, which Christen explained the rules to Tobin as she watched them play from afar. The guys from the hotel arrived and Hope was pulled on the dance floor with the guy she had been trying to get to know last night. Mark, one of the guys from last night begged his boyfriend to dance, and when he got a ‘no’ Becky volunteered to be his partner. Tobin was happily nestled away in the corner with Christen, JJ, Mallory and the two guys she talked to last night. 

The place was crowded people bumping into each other as they walked, the kitchen was full of drunk people trying to drink more. Guys would come into the kitchen and looked over at the the group of girls, JJ would glare at them and Christen would wrap Tobin’s arm around her a little tighter so everyone would get the hint. They all stood around sipping their drinks and talking about the game. Tobin would look over at Meghan watching her throw a ping pong ball across a table, she seemed happy so Tobin wasn’t too worried. 

Meghan had drank before, her parents were much cooler about things like that. Tobin remembered them talking about Meghan’s dad allowing her and her brother to have a beer during a football game, and a glass of wine with Christmas dinner, something Tobin’s parents wouldn’t even dream of doing. Even though she knew her best friend wasn’t an experienced drinker, at least not as experienced the others were, she knew Meghan could find her limit and not go past it, besides she had Morgan who seemed to be standing closer and closer to her as the night went on. 

Tobin wanted to focus on Christen who played with her fingers while they talked, and leaned into to her so much Tobin was almost supporting her full weight. Every once in a while Christen would turn half her body around and smile at her, those green eyes turning their dark grey in the dim light. Tobin wanted to kiss her again, she wanted to spin her around and try to recreate the moment they had in the room, but they were in a group of people and at a busy party, so maybe she just needed to focus on what everyone was saying and less on the fact that Christen’s hair smelled amazing and her hands were incredibly soft. 

 

The party was getting bigger, she didn’t think that was possible, but it seemed to be growing, and Tobin could see out the window to the front lawn that now had more bodies on it than before. When the girls said the party would grow to the rest of the houses they were right, the house across the street now had some colored lights on, and it looked like people were out on their lawn drinking. Was this just how parties were in college? Was this something she had to look forward to? She studied the crowd, everyone was holding either a red cup or a beer can; girls where leaned up against walls and guys hovered over them talking about who cared what. People were on the dance floor practically grinding on each other. The beer pong table was almost surrounded as Sam and Alex started to really get rowdy, a bunch of guys were standing around pointing at the table, probably planning to talk to the girls after they won. Tobin laughed a little to herself knowing the guys would strike out with Alex and Sam. After a while of just standing around Tobin spotted the girl from the park, she was in a nice shirt and a tight pair of jeans, she looked really good, and Lindsey took notice immediately.

"Dude," Lindsey said grabbing hold of Tobin's arm and pointing in the direction of the girl, “She's here, and she brought a friend."

"Well go over there and talk to her,” Tobin said with a little laugh.

Lindsey gave her a look, "I need my wingman, she brought a friend which means you need to be there to help."

"How am I supposed to help?" Tobin gasped.

"Just be cool," she looked over to Christen who didn't seem amused by the conversation, "I promise to have her back by the end of the party."

Christen rolled her eyes, "You have an hour, then I want my girlfriend back."

Lindsey looked over to Tobin who shrugged as if to say she didn't really have a choice in the matter, "Fine, I'll have her back in a bit." She pulled Tobin over to the drink counter and poured two shots in empty red cups, "Here take this, we only have and hour and I need you to be as smooth as possible."

She looked down in the cup, "This isn't vodka is it?"

"Nah, it's tequila, now shoot it," Lindsey demanded.

Tobin smelled the contents first, it didn't smell any better then the vodka but she wasn't ready to protest especially with the crazy look Lindsey had in her eye, so she took the shot coughing right after because apparently tequila was just as horrible as vodka. 

They made more drinks, Tobin opting for jack and Coke again, then headed for the two girls standing next to the wall near the back of the room. Immediately they were recognized and greeted with huge smiles and half hugs.

"You made it," the girl said, "This is my friend Ashely."

Lindsey gave a quick nod to the brunette standing by the girl she liked, "Hey what's up, this is Tobin."

The girl leaned over to her friend Ashely and whispered, "Told you they're cute." Before looking back to Lindsey.

Ashely was tall with long brown hair the color of leaves in the fall with hints of honey brown mixed in. Her eyes were bright and hopeful and her skin was a beautiful sun kissed color that complimented her soft features. She was in a light pink dress that was sleeveless, and flowed down complimenting her perfectly. Tobin studied her slender frame and tall stance and realized she must be some kind of athlete, she carried herself in a way only athletes did, which was a good thing because even tipsy Tobin had no idea how to talk to a girl, let alone a pretty one who wasn't her girlfriend, so she opened up the conversation the only way she knew how.

"So, where are you going to college?" It was a fair question and one that would hopefully spark conversation.

Ashely gave her a quick smile, "BYU, I'm actually going for soccer. You play too right? Taylor said you too are going pro in the fall."

"Lindsey is going pro," Tobin corrected, "I am going to UNC."

"Aw man, I was really hoping you'd be going pro, that way I wouldn't have to beat you in the fall," she said with a huge smile.

"If you think there's even a small chance BYU comes close to UNC you either need to stop drinking or drink some more," Tobin laughed.

Ashely looked down at her cup, "I could actually use another drink, you know, if your offering."

Tobin clocked the smile on her face, the twinkle in her eye, as much as Tobin was new to this she could tell the brunette was hitting on her, and now she needed to step lightly, she had to find a good way to be Lindsey’s wingman while also being a good girlfriend. She looked over to Ashely still staring at her. _Getting a drink isn't a bad thing._ Tobin quickly rationalized, and took the cup from the girls hand.

"What are you drinking?"

"Vodka soda," she answered happily.

Tobin flashed a smile, "Man you're going to BYU and you drink vodka, you and I are definitely getting off on the wrong foot."

"Well when you come back let's figure out how to get on the right foot," she reached out and touched her arm gently.

_She definitely flirting with you Tobin, be cool._ "I'm sure we can figure something out.” she pulled Lindsey along with her to the kitchen.

The party was so crowded it was hard for the two girls to push there way back to the kitchen, when they finally made it through the mess of people Tobin was happy to see Christen still standing in the corner talking to her friends. She watched her for just a second, that bright smile seemed even brighter when she thought no one was looking. Her hair was down tonight, all wavy around her shoulders the way Tobin liked it. She looked her up and down, those jeans hugging every curve, and the preview of the lacy black bra made Tobin go a little crazy. 

Christen was in her head a lot, almost as much as Tobin was, but she didn't carry herself with this nervous energy that Tobin found hard to shake, she always seemed kind of calm and cool even if she was having a mini freak out in her head. Tobin loved her casual style, she always dressed like she wasn’t worried about anything, yet she still wanted to look good, and man did she look good. 

Tobin must have been staring for too long because Lindsey punched her on the arm to snap her out of her thoughts and make her focus on getting the drinks.

"What the hell is a vodka Soda anyway?" Tobin asked as they finally got to grab some of the bottles from the counter. "Do I just pick any soda? Does she seem like a root beer kind of girl?"

Lindsey threw her head back laughing, "Nah dude, it's vodka and club soda."

Wincing at the idea of drinking vodka and nasty tasteless club soda she grabbed at every bottle and read the label, "How can she drink that? It sounds awful."

"She's either trying to cut calories, or she's a weirdo, either way is good for you." Lindsey responded while not so carefully measuring out different amounts of liquor in the red cup.

Tobin shrugged, "Why would it be good for me if she's cutting calories?"

"Because that means she serious about her game, like you." She looked over and smiled, "Besides she super hot, and totally into you."

"You know who I'm totally into?" She said staring over at her friend putting a third type of alcohol in her cup.

"Let me guess... Chris?" She laughed, "Dude I'm not saying you need to hook up with her, I'm just saying it's good for me if she’s into you because her friend won't have to focus on her focusing on you which means she can focus on me focusing on her, you know what I'm saying?"

"Absolutely not," Tobin chuckled.

Lindsey grabbed a tall frosted bottle with a blue cap and shoved it in Tobin’s hands, "Just pour some of this in that cup and fill the rest with that crap in the soda bottle with the green label."

She had never mixed a drink before so she poured as much as she saw everyone else pour into their cups then grabbed the soda bottle and topped off the drink. There was no way Tobin was going to understand any of the social norms at this party in just one go, but she was eager to try. 

Looking around she spotted everyone in the group. Hope and Becky were still dancing with the pool guys only now Hope was a lot closer to her guy and the dancing was starting to turn a little horizontal. Christen, JJ and Mallory were still in the corner talking, the two guys with them serving to keep a lot of on looking frat boys away which Tobin liked. Alex, and Sam were still at the beer pong table, they were dominating the game so they kept playing.

Morgan and Meghan were sitting on a couch watching the beer pong game, sitting incredibly close and Morgan was talking into her ear. Tobin watched her friend, she seemed pretty calm in the situation, listening to what was being said, and leaning in to respond. She looked comfortable like she had done this so many times before it would be insane to be nervous. Tobin felt kind of proud, after all she did suggest being cool and just going for it, and now it seemed like her best friend was finally going for it.

Right when she was ready to head back with the drinks she felt her phone buzz in her pocket, she took it out and saw a text message had just been sent to her.

**Christen:** You look hot.

Blushing, she looked up and over to her girlfriend who had her phone in her hand. Christen smiled over to her, that smile that made Tobin so weak and the now flustered girl wanted to drop the drinks in her hand and go over to her girlfriend and kiss her until she agreed to leave this crazy party, but Lindsey was pushing her shoulder forcing her to move, so Tobin quickly typed out a response and turned to walk away.

 

Christen felt her phone buzz, she looked down at the text,

**Tobin:** You're the hot one. *Drool face emoji*

Tobin had only been gone for about fifteen minutes but Christen still missed her. This was their first real party together and even though she knew they had many more to go, especially when they got to college, she still felt like she needed the girl on her arm. Tobin may have been nervous and a little awkward but she made Christen feel safe, and besides it was just right that she would get to hang on her girlfriend at a party.

When she was in California she went to parties most weekends, none really like this though. Most people she knew had a pool, or a beach house so most parties where centered around swimming or surfing. Christen was use to standing around talking with friends, but it was normally around a beach fire or outside where they could at least see the stars at night. The east coast was different, and it was something she was going to have to get use to. The thing that wasn't different was her hanging out without her girlfriend. In California Kelley was always off doing something when they partied together, she was popular and fun so people always pulled her away leaving Christen to just hang around with friends. Kelley would occasionally pop over and put her arms around her waist staying for as long as it took for her to finish off Christen's drink, then go off to play a game or surf. It always annoyed her, being left and only seeing her girlfriend for all of ten minutes at every party, but she never said anything, she never wanted to hold the wild girl back. Tobin was different, she wasn't wild, she didn't know how to party so Christen hoped she would stay close and this party wouldn't be a repeat of every other one she'd been at, but again she was standing without her girlfriend.

"Where's Tobin?" Someone asked.

Christen spun around and saw Meghan standing behind her, "Playing wingman to Lindsey." She responded pointing over to the two girls in the corner.

"I didn't know Tobin knew how to be a wingman," Meghan laughed.

"Apparently she's the best at it," Christen shrugged, “She's on lend for another forty five minutes then I'm taking my girlfriend back."

Meghan looked over to her best friend talking to some strange girl, "I didn't know Tobin was capable of talking to strangers."

"I think you'd be surprised what drunk Tobin is capable of."

Christen was a little surprised how calm Tobin was through out the whole trip, granted she was wasted last night and was probably at the very least tipsy right now, still it was shocking. She knew Tobin got nervous especially when put in new situations, but she seemed so comfortable. It was almost like a switch had been flipped in her head and she was suddenly this different version of herself. Christen’s mind went back to the kiss, the way Tobin almost took control of the whole thing pushing them into something Christen assumed her girlfriend just wasn't ready for. The memory of her hands pulling her in close, her tongue finding its way into her mouth, her leg pressing on her core sending sparks through her whole body. Those moves were deliberate, maybe not tactful, but definitely on purpose. Maybe her shy, anxious girlfriend was actually ready, maybe in this environment, taking her away from her home town with all the memories of her past anxieties, putting her into a situation where this strong confident version of her could come out, maybe she was ready. The more Christen watched her, the way she smiled at that girl, the way she laughed, the way she looked in those jeans, Christen wrestled with the idea of breaking that silent vow she made with herself in the hotel room, maybe she didn't need to hold back tonight.

 

The four girls had been talking for a while, Tobin’s drink was getting low and she didn't want to leave and get a new one because that would mean she would have to walk and see Christen and somehow convince herself not to go over there and kiss her and that seemed impossible in her current state, so she kept sipping the last little bit. Lucky for her a song Lindsey liked came on and she finally got the courage to ask the girl to dance. This also meant Tobin was stuck alone with the beautiful girl who seemed totally into her.

"Do you wanna dance?" Ashley asked with hopeful eyes.

Tobin took a deep breath, she felt like she had done her duty as wingman and it was time to enjoy the party with her girlfriend, besides she didn't want to lead anyone one.

"Can I be honest with you?" She asked taking a step closer so she could talk to the girl without shouting. "I think you're awesome, but I kind of have a girlfriend, well not kind of, I do have a girlfriend she's over there in the black shirt." She pointed to Christen still in the kitchen with her friends.

"Can I be honest with you?" Ashely said in a cheerful voice, "I kind have a crush on someone at the party and I've sorta been using you to make them jealous."

Tobin looked over at her with wide eyes, "Using me?" She asked pointing a finger at herself.

"Yeah, see she's over there, in the red shirt." She pointed to a tall girl standing in the corner with a bunch of people, she had been looking over at them but when Ashely pointed the girl quickly turned her head, "We went to school together and we've been flirting for weeks but she won't make a move. Taylor said she wanted to hang with your friend and I should come and flirt with you because you're hot and I would either make my crush jealous enough to make a move or I would hook up with a super hot soccer player."

"You were planning to hook up with me?" Her words came out more shocked then she would have liked to sound, after all she was new cool Tobin and new cool Tobin wasn't shocked people thought she was hot.

Ashely looked her up and down one good time, "It wasn't really a plan but I wouldn't have been mad if it happened. But now that I know you have this gorgeous girlfriend, I'm hoping the jealousy plan worked out."

She shrugged, "Uh, yeah I hope it worked too." She didn't really know how to respond, she couldn't really say she had never been used as a part of a plan to make anyone jealous, she had never been used at all really, it felt kind of good. "What do we do now?"

"I give you my number," she said casually, "And when UNC comes to Utah to lose you contact me and we can hang out."

"You mean when we come to stomp you," Tobin laughed.

She took out her phone and let Ashely type in her contact information, and Tobin gave her a quick text so she would have her information as well. Ashely even did the good deed of looking over to Christen, who was watching the exchange, and give her a wave and a smile, and Tobin waved and smiled too letting her know this was a non threatening exchange of information. Ashely insisted Tobin give her a hug for effect, and they promised to text each other, then Tobin pushed her way through the crowd and finally got to where she was meant to be, standing behind Christen with her arms around her waist.

"So what was all that about?" Christen asked as Tobin planted a kiss on her cheek.

Tobin looked over and saw Ashely walking towards the group her crush was hanging out with. "That's Ashely, turns out she has a crush on a girl and she was flirting with me to make her jealous, and playing wingman to Taylor who I'm pretty sure would have said yes to Lindsey even if I wasn't there. She's going to BYU she gave me her number and said whenever UNC goes to Utah we can all hangout."

Christen turned a little so she could face her girlfriend, “I'm glad you had fun getting another girls number."

"Thanks babe," she smiled.

 

—

The party beat on, getting a little louder and a little wilder as more and more people showed up. Tobin made another drink, and got Christen one too, they were content standing the background talking with friends, but Alex made her way to the kitchen and interrupted the group.

“Hey, let’s play circle of death!” Alex said with wide, and a little bloodshot, eyes. 

JJ looked at her closely, “How many beer pong games did you win?”

“Four!” Alex shouted, “And the one we lost was because they’re a bunch of cheaters. That’s in the past, the future is circle of death.”

“Fine, but your drinking a glass of water first,” JJ insisted. 

Alex rolled her eyes and threw her arm in the air exaggerating her moves, “Fine mom, line it up.” She turned to the rest of the group, “Go meet Sammy on the back porch, she’s setting it up.”

Christen turned to Tobin and smiled, “Sammy huh?” She wiggled her eyebrows. 

As they moved to the back porch Tobin watched Dave, from last night, grab a bottle and some tiny plastic cups off the table and take it with them. JJ stayed behind to make sure Alex drank the water which meant Mallory followed close behind Tobin, grabbing the back of her shirt as they moved so she wouldn’t get separated in the large crowd.

 

The back porch was a little quieter than the house, the music was at least low enough they didn’t have to scream the whole time, though Tobin was pretty sure no one else realized that because they were still yelling. The porch was pretty big and had lights in every corner so it was easy to see. Sam had set a bunch of mismatched chairs around a wood table, she was shuffling a deck of cards as everyone sat down. 

“Does everyone know how to play?” She asked her voice a little lower and scratchy from screaming for the last hour. 

Tobin wanted to say she didn’t know how to play, after all she had no idea what circle of death was, and honestly it sounded kind of frightening, but she didn’t want to be a loser so she kind of sat back and hoped she would just figure it out. Luckily for her one of the guys got into the rules with Sam and Tobin didn’t need to muddle her way through. 

The game was complicated, every card had a different rule, and everyone seemed to play a different version of the game so nailing down exactly what each rule was proved to be harder than it should have been. It took five minuets for everyone to agree on each cards meaning and Meghan had to type it all out on her phone so no one could change the rules last minute. By the time they were all ready to play Alex and JJ were out on the porch. Alex took the seat right next to Sam, one that Sam insisted only Alex could sit in. Christen elbowed Tobin in the side when she saw that, and Tobin just gave her a weird look back. 

Everyone had their drinks out on the table, the two guys were drinking beers, Meghan and Morgan had some kind of mix drink that Morgan knew the name of and Meghan insisted tasted like candy. Tobin was still drinking Jack and Coke though her cup was mostly coke now, Christen had gone the opposite way making her drink stronger over time. Alex brought out a drink for her and Sam, another subject Christen elbowed Tobin over, and JJ and Mallory were still drinking soda. The cards were laid out on the table and everyone was ready to play.

“Wait,” Dave shouted. He took the bottle he had grabbed out of the kitchen table and pulled out the cups. “We all have to take a shot before we start, house rules.” He lined up the cups and started to pour, then handed the drinks off. “Okay all you ladies take shot, except you DD and you Kid. Okay, uh- encouraging words and phrases, let’s drink, cheers.” 

Everyone laughed and then took the shot, Tobin winced again remembering that terrible taste. Dave sat down and the game started. 

 

The first card made everyone drink, which was good because Tobin needed something to get the taste of vodka out of her mouth. The next card was a rule and Alex decided that anyone who said the word ‘drink’ had to drink, which got three people immediately. The next ones were all kind of silly and made everyone laugh. Then Tobin drew a card and it was a five, which meant they had to play a mini game in the drinking game called Never Have I Ever. 

“So basically you hold up five fingers and someone says something that they have never done and if you’ve done it then you put down a finger, and you have to take a sip of your beverage of choice.” Alex quickly explained, “Tobs, you go first.”

“Uh- I just say something I’ve never done?” She questioned.

Christen leaned into her, “Yeah just say anything you’ve never done that you think other people have done.”

“Make it dirty Toby,” Alex giggled.

Sam elbowed her, “It doesn’t have to be dirty Tobs, just say anything.” She turned and glared at Alex, we was sitting back in her seat still laughing.

_That’s easy I’ve never done anything_ Her mind was a wash with ideas, but they all seemed lame and revealed to the whole group that she was indeed a complete loser, and she wasn’t really ready for that, especially when everyone was treating her like she was cool. She looked around at everyone staring at her, she needed something fast, something simple, yet still cool, god she wished she had an example, then one kind of hit her, something that didn’t make her lame, but also played to the game perfectly. 

“Okay, I uh- never been skinny dipping.”

Some people started to drink, much to Tobin’s surprise Christen took a sip from her cup and put her finger down. 

“Chris?!” Sam shouted across the table.

Christen shrugged, “I’m from L.A. that’s normal stuff for us.”

“Wait, hot chicks skinny dipping is normal in L.A.?” Dave asked quickly, “I need to get to L.A.”

“Me too,” JJ agreed. 

Christen hushed everyone at the table, “Okay- Never have I ever… been caught having sex, by anyone.”

Everyone started to crack up, as people took sips from their cups, Tobin noticed both JJ and Alex took a drink and shared a look, and she wondered if they were caught together or if it was separate occasions. 

The game continued on like that, the situations getting a little more risky as everyone started to drink more. Even Tobin had to put down a finger when Bobby said he had never made out with a girl, which was a pretty obvious one since he was gay, but Dave turned it on him when he said he’d never made out with a dude, and almost everyone besides Meghan, JJ and Tobin had to take a drink. 

The five fingers portion of the game was over and they went back to drawing cards and playing silly games. Christen had put her hand on Tobin’s knee, and she was slowly bringing it higher and higher on her leg, and Tobin was starting to get that feeling again. 

 

The deck was three quarters gone when Hope came out to the porch and pulled JJ aside, Tobin listened in on their conversation. 

“You okay to look after all them?” Hope asked, her words heavy in her mouth. 

JJ nodded and smiled, “Yeah, Mal and I have been sipping on sprite all night, we are good to get all of them back to the suite.”

“Do you think Mal will be okay in the car with all them?” She asked looking at the rowdy bunch of girls. 

“I’ll take most of them, and leave Tobin and Christen with Mal, even drunk Christen seems like the most responsible person here.” She answered simply, “Go have fun, I’ll make sure they all get back to the suite without a problem.”

Hope looked a little hesitant, but when she looked behind her to the tall guy leaning against the back fence she nodded, “Okay, I’ll be across the way from the suite, Chris knows the room number if you need me. I’ll be back before check out.”

“I got this,” JJ responded with confidence, she nodded towards the patiently waiting guy, “Now, you go get that.”

Hope laughed giving her a little push. She waved to everyone and then headed off with the guy. Everyone was hooting as she walked away making sure Hope knew that they all knew exactly what was going to happen. 

The game continued on and everyone was getting a more settled as the party starting to turn into pairs of people making out in dark corners, or heading out to find somewhere more private. It wasn’t long before Tobin noticed her group was starting to pair off themselves. Bobby’s boyfriend had made his way to the back porch and was talking in his ear, leaving a clearly tipsy Becky to sit with JJ. Morgan was practically sitting in Meghan’s lap by the time they were almost done picking cards. Much to Tobin’s surprise Sam and Alex were whispering to each other, sitting closer and touching each other’s arms. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, she took it out and saw a text:

**Lindsey:** goin to Taylors. Ill uber bck to hotel n th morn. Don wait up!!!!!!

Tobin leaned over to Chris and showed her the text. 

“Sounds like your wing-manning paid off,” she slurred out.

“I guess so,” Tobin chuckled putting her phone back in her pocket. 

It looked like cool Tobin was helping out people tonight, now she just had to find a way to make cool Tobin work in her own favor. The way Christen was running her hand up her leg, and talking low in her ear, maybe she wasn’t going to need to work too hard. 

The game was over and everyone finished off their drinks, Alex wanted to hang out more but JJ insisted the group start to make their way to the cars. The three guys asked for a ride back which no one minded, so they cleaned up as much as their drunk brains knew how and stumbled through the back yard and down the street to get in the cars. 

JJ stood with Mallory making sure she knew everything, Tobin and Christen were told to get in with Mallory and Bobby and his boyfriend volunteered to be in the quiet car, Dave electing to stay with the ‘hot chicks’ even though Bobby told him multiple times he wasn’t getting any tonight. 

Christen sat in front with Mallory, which meant Tobin was forced to break contact with her for the first time in an hour. They followed close behind JJ’s car. Alex and Morgan stuck their heads out the window and screamed at them, Meghan and Becky trying frantically to pull them back in, which made Christen laugh way too much. The guys were polite, asking questions about where they were going to school, and what they were going to study, but Tobin wasn’t paying too close attention to them, she was too busy studying the girl in the front of the car, who couldn’t stop laughing no matter how many times Mallory pointed it out. 

They arrived at the hotel parking lot and Meghan instantly ran to Tobin and threw her arms around her, “Dude, I missed you, the ride was insane, Alex is crazy.”

“Missed you too dude, my drive was pleasant,” Tobin said, her eyes wide. 

“Pleasant?” Meghan questioned, “You mean you didn’t have to stop anyone from sticking their body parts out the window?”

Tobin started to laugh, “Nah, I just had to find a way to get Chris to stop laughing.” She said looking over to her girlfriend who was still having trouble not giggling at everything everyone was saying. 

Morgan went over to the two girls and put her chin on Meghan’s shoulder, “Hey, let’s go inside.”

The group headed in, saying their good nights to the guys who had to pull Dave away from them. As they got in JJ asked if anyone needed anything like water or food to help with the oncoming hangover and everyone insisted they were fine. They all stood around and talked for a little while, Morgan was the first one to pull Meghan away from the group and into a room, of course everyone whispered about it for a second, before Alex realized that it was hers and Morgan’s room that they went into. 

Sam looked around concern in her eyes, “Where’s Lindsey? Did we forget Lindsey?”

“Nah, she went home with that girl, she said she’d uber back in the morning,” Tobin answered quickly. 

“Oh cool,” Sam looked over to Alex, “You can room with me, if you want.”

Alex lowered her eyes a bit and pretended to think about the question, “Okay, sounds good.”

As they left to go in the room Christen grabbed Tobin’s arm, “Kind of saw that coming.”

“Really?” Tobin said with a smile, “I guess it does kind of make some sense.”

Becky stretched out her arms, “Looks like I get a bed to myself.” She gave a little half wave as she walked down the hall and into the room.

Christen hooked her arm in Tobin’s, “Let’s go to the room babe.”

Tobin felt every nerve in her body stand up to those words, “Yeah, okay.”

They said their good nights and headed down the hall to their room. 

 

—

 

Tobin could feel her heart race as the crossed over the threshold of the room, she closed the door over and watch Christen walk over and turn on the lamp on the night stand. When she turned around Tobin felt like she could pass out right then. Christens hair was a bit messy from the night, but it was still wavy and falling on her shoulders. Her eyes were dark against the dim lighting of the room, and they were looking at her in a way that Tobin had never seen before. 

“You’re really lucky, you know,” She said her words kind of jumbled together. 

Tobin smiled, “Why am I lucky?” 

Christen took another step towards her, “Flirting with that girl for like the first half of the party, if you were anyone else I would have freaked out.”

“Why didn’t you freak out on me?” She asked trying to figure out what her girlfriend was trying to say. 

Christen shrugged, “You’re Tobin.” She took another step, they were close now, but not touching yet, “I know you wouldn’t do anything, I mean, you could have had your dream girl, you could have picked Alex and you didn’t.”

The words hurt a little, but not because Tobin was upset about them, but because Christen believed them, she was going to clear this up right now. “Chris, I didn’t pick you over Alex, I just picked you. There is no one else, there is no one that could have been here but you. Yeah I had a crush on Alex for a long time, but all that stopped when you came into my life.” She closed the gap between them taking Christen’s hands in hers, “Chris, you’re the one I want, you’re my dream girl.”

The words hit her like a rush and suddenly Christen didn’t want to wait anymore. She surged forward capturing Tobin’s lips, throwing her arms around her neck to bring her closer. She could feel Tobin’s tongue dart out to meet hers, the kiss was hot and heavy and Christen knew Tobin felt the same way, that she wanted this. She kissed down her cheek, then across her jaw line to her ear, "Tobin..." She hissed out, she can feel her girlfriends hands tighten on her waist, "I want you."

Tobin had no idea three words could make her feel so amazing. Her head was spinning, she felt like her throat was dry. Christen was kissing a spot just behind her ear that was making her knees weak. She gripped tighter to the slender hips in her hands, she had to say something, she needed to let Christen know that she didn't want to stop, she didn't want to back down, she wanted this, she needed this.

Pulling her girlfriend a little closer she reached up and touched her cheek making Christen's head come back so their eyes could meet. "I..." She didn't have words, she needed to find words, that look in Christen's eyes both of concern and wonder and something else Tobin had never seen before, she had to speak.

"We don't have to do this," Christen spoke softly but clearly, her mind no longer clouded by the drinks of the night, her focus was clear and it was all on the nervous girl searching for words in this big moment.

"I want to," she answered, her voice was airy the voice she had when she was still unsure but trying to find confidence. "I just... I don't know what I'm doing."

Christen knew that voice, she knew the sound of it, that was the voice Tobin had when she was trying to figure something out but she was stuck in her head. She’d heard that voice so many times, and this time she knew what to do.

She picked up Tobin’s hands, they were unsteady but warm, clasping them in hers she brought them up and kissed the tips of her fingers. A smile appeared on Tobin’s face, those light brown eyes glowing against the soft light of the room. The worry in her face started to disappear as Christen reached up touching her cheek and gently pulling her in for a kiss.

"We can go slow," Christen whispered against her lips, she felt Tobin nod, "Just talk to me, tell me if you want to stop."

Just moments before Tobin's mind was going crazy, her thoughts were racing in a drunken nervous confusion making her head feel light like at any moment she could pass out but now everything was clear. She was happy she had a little bit of liquid courage flowing through her veins, but not enough to take her thoughts away from the moment she was in. Christen was kind and gentle and every touch lit Tobin on fire. She didn't want to stop, she didn't need to, she was ready.

The two of them backed up closer to the bed. The room was only lit by the lamp on the side table, the shade was a light pink and the room was bathed in a warm pink light. Christen was careful in her movements, guiding Tobin to the bed. Even though Tobin's knees felt like they could give out at anytime, she stayed standing and she was happy that she did. Christen grabbed the hem of the black shirt she was wearing and slowly pulled it over her head revealing the black lace bra Tobin had been getting glimpses of all night. Tobin lifted her hand touching along Christen's side just below her bra, tracing her fingers down her ribs and letting them fall at her hips just above her jeans hanging low.

Christen could feel her girlfriends hands they were warm and gentle but still unsure so she knew she was going to have to do most of the work, she didn't mind at all. She reached over and grabbed the bottom of Tobin’s soft t-shirt looking up at her wantonly. Tobin gave a nervous nod, swallowing hard. She pulled the shirt up and over her head and tossed it on the floor. For the first time she was allowed to see those tight ab muscles up close, she had felt them days ago, seen them bare at the pool, but this was so much different. She reached up and touched her stomach feeling her flex under her touch, she traced a line down, in that moment really needing to remind herself to go slow.

Tobin was shivering under her touch, everything was so soft it made her feel like she was floating. She leaned forward and kissed Christen putting some pressure behind it so she could ground herself. She felt Christen's tongue timidly trying to gain access so Tobin parted her lips. The kiss got hotter and a little faster as Tobin tried to express through her lips that she needed just a little more and Christen picked up on it anticipating everything.

Letting her hands fall Christen hooked her finger in the waist line of Tobin’s jeans, she could feel Tobin kiss her harder. She toyed with the button for only a second before popping it out and pulling down the zipper. Her hands slipped around her waist and she pushed down on Tobin's jeans allowing her to step out of them bringing them closer to the bed.

The back of Christen’s legs were touching the bed and Tobin could feel them stop. She thought back to the videos she watched, to the scenes she had seen on TV, but none of them seemed to be any help in this moment, she had no idea what to do so she followed Christen's lead and reached down to unbutton her jeans. She wasn't ready for what she saw next. Christen was in a black pair of lace panties, her legs were long and tan and perfect and Tobin felt like she was going to pass out, maybe it was time to get in the bed.

Christen was the one to pull them in bed, she pushed the blankets down far enough so they could get under them. Tobin was on top of her, those wavy brown locks flowing down darkening her face, but she was smiling, bigger than usual, brighter than ever.

Christen reached up and touched her cheek, then ran her thumb across her lips that were still a little pink, "What?" She asked in a whisper.

Tobin shook her head, then kissed the thumb at her lips, "You're so amazingly beautiful."

She gave a little laugh, "You're beautiful."

Shaking her head once again she responded, "I just can't believe this."

"Believe it," she smiled up at her, then pulled her down for another kiss.

Christen was right, it may have been unbelievable, it may have felt like a fantasy but this was real, she was really in this moment and she needed to focus. Tobin summoned up as much confidence as she could, she pulled Christen up so she was balancing on her elbows. Tobin reached back tracing her fingers along the bottom line of her bra, finding the clasp struggling for only a second to unhook it. She reached up to Christens shoulder and slowly pulled one strap down then reach over to pull the other. If she thought she couldn’t breathe before, she definitely couldn't now, the only clear thought running through her head was; _how perfect is my girlfriend._

Christen ran her hands up Tobin’s side slipping her fingers under her sports bra and pulling it over her head. Tobin Heath was perfect and Christen told herself she could spend hours just looking at her, and one day she would but right now she could see the little bit of confidence Tobin had was diminishing and she needed to pull her back in. She brought Tobin down so their bodies were flush, pulling her into a hot kiss. She could feel Tobin’s hands start to roam on her skin, she was tracing a line down her side stopping just short of her panties and going just high enough to touch the edges of her breast. Tobin was scared to touch anywhere else, and Christen needed to help her. As her hand made its way back up for the fourth time Christen leaned in allowing Tobin’s hand to cup her breast, she felt the hitch in her breath, a seconds hesitation before Tobin was kissing her harder.

Tobin felt a fire building up inside her, everything about Christens body was perfect and she was able to feel it all. She shifted in her position allowing her leg to fall between Christen's she could feel the lace against her thigh. Christen was thrusting her hips up, that sound Tobin longed to hear escaping her mouth through their kiss. Suddenly the kiss got faster, harder and a little sloppy as Christen pushed herself against Tobin’s leg, grinding up on it. Then it was almost like she had enough and wanted more. 

With wide eyes Tobin looked down between them as Christen hooked her fingers in her own panties sliding them down enough so she could kick them away. Tobin couldn't take her eyes off of her, it was Christen that put a finger under her chin pulling her head back up and into a kiss. Tobin let her leg fall between Christen's again she felt her push up against it a few times, her moans getting heavier and their kiss getting hotter.

Christen wanted to wait, she wanted Tobin to do only what she was ready for, but she couldn't wait anymore, and she knew Tobin would stop if she needed to. Gently she grabbed Tobin's hand and guided it between her legs. As soon as she could feel her fingers stroke through her folds her entire body started to go crazy, she needed more, she had to have more. She gently moved Tobin’s fingers down, stopping only for a second to make sure everything was still okay, when she didn't sense any hesitation she guided Tobin’s fingers to her entrance and push up with her hips allowing her slender fingers to slip inside her.

Tobin's mind was racing, everything was smooth and wet and perfect and everything she imagined and couldn’t possibly imagine. She could feel Christen thrusting into her hand, pushing her fingers deeper inside herself. Tobin was happy to have the guidance but eventually Christen’s hand was no longer gripping onto her wrist so Tobin was allowed to find a rhythm of her own. She turned her hand just a little, her fingers curling up just slightly and she saw Christens head go back into the pillow, her eyes shut tight and her mouth half open, her breath coming out heavy and jagged.

Christen wrapped one leg around Tobin’s hips pulling her in closer, her hands finding their way to her shoulders pulling her down. Tobin pushed a little harder picking up the pace. Christen pulled her all the way down so her face was buried in the crook of her neck. Tobin could feel her breath hot against her skin, she could hear her cursing, a new breathless word every few seconds, then suddenly her whole body tightened, her walls contracting around her fingers, her leg pulling down on her hips and she was quite for just a second before she started to tremble whispering Tobin's name.

Tobin paused, she didn't have any idea what to do, she never read about the aftermath so she stayed still, Christen’s body still moving ever so slightly under hers. Then she felt the hand on her wrist pulling her hand up. Christen rolled them over so Tobin was on her back and she was now laying on her chest, she could feel Christen's heart beating against her side, her breathing was slowing.

"Was that okay?" Tobin asked a little frightened of the answer.

"That was..." She picked her head up and kissed her pushing hard against her lips, "Amazing."

Tobin swelled with pride, a huge smile creeping on her face "Awesome." Was all she could think to say.

Christen leaned up, "If you give me like five minutes I can…"

"No," Tobin cut her off shocking them both. She didn't mean to say it, that wasn't the plan at all but once she did the words didn't feel wrong. "I just don't think I'm ready... Not for that part... Not yet at least."

Christen smiled then leaned down to kiss her cheek, "Okay babe." She laid back down her head on her chest, "But when you are, I'm gonna rock your world."

She let out a little laugh, wrapping her arms tighter around her girlfriend’s warm body, ”Good to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments. Tell me what you think... you know if you want. 
> 
> Also I am changing the description of the story to match more of how it is going, so don't be shocked when it is different, if you care about that kind of stuff.


	24. P.A.R.T.Y. (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls get ready to host a hotel party. Tobin plays some games and Christen is a little too handsy with her. Alex gets even more jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Talex part of the story, if you were looking for Preath, that's the last chapter. 
> 
> Ignore those typos and hold on for a wild ride.

Tobin held tight to Alex’s hand as they moved through the busy parking lot. The US won 2-0 and everyone at the game was going crazy, it felt like there was some kind of electric pulse going through the air and amping up everyone around them. Fans were chanting and cheering and banging on anything they could get their hands on. Tobin had never seen anything like it, she had witnessed the aftermath of a national team game before but it was from the safety of her parents car, she had never been outside with beers being tossed around the parking lot, men with their shirts off yelling at each other, kids trying to get away from their parents so they could dance around. It was a good game, but Tobin didn’t think it would be like this afterwards, part of her wanted to stay, celebrate with the true fans, but everyone was rushing towards the cars. They had a party to get ready for, to plan out, and to try and execute to the best of their ability, and that meant getting back to the hotel as quickly as possible.

 

At halftime, Lindsey took off with Sam, JJ and Becky and ran into some girls the Lindsey had seen before the game. They lived only 20 minutes away from the hotel and were looking to hang out, and of course Lindsey offered up their suite as a place to hang. Hope had apparently made good friends with a few guys that stayed in the hotel and she took it upon herself to invite them. There was a group of people sitting next to them, all of them were around the same age as everyone in the group, Alex, the social butterfly, quickly made friends with them and invited them to come to the suite, after all it was a party. Soon, without even realizing it each one of their individual invitations and the suggestions to bring some friends turned their hang out to a full blown hotel party, one they had to host.

 

Everyone was hopped up on adrenaline during the ride home, talking loudly over each other about the party and arguing about who was going to shower first. When they finally pulled into the parking lot everyone practically burst out the cars rushing to the suite. They had a game plan, even if everyone didn’t want to stick to it. The guy from last nights barbecue was twenty-one and agreed to buy the alcohol, that everyone chipped in for, so long as Hope accompanied him to the store, and the people who were coming said they would bring some too. JJ was volunteered to score snacks and plasticware, she stole Mallory because neither of them drank so they didn’t need to be ‘ready to party’ as quickly as everyone else. The rest of them were tasked with setting up the room and making sure no one else could get to the back rooms.

The hotel was huge, bigger than Tobin could have ever imagined. She looked up at the ceiling with wide eyes, she couldn’t believe she was here. There was a living room with several couches and a huge flat screen television on the wall. A kitchen with everything you could ever want. Down the hall were five bedrooms with their own bathrooms. While she had stayed at hotels before, she never stayed in a suite and she couldn’t help but look like a little kid as they walked in.  
   
“We saved you and Alex the back room on the left,” Hope said pointing down the hall.  
   
 _Wait, we are sharing a room?_ Tobin’s mind started going into panic mode, but she kept a straight face and just nodded, “Cool, thanks.”  
   
Now officially freaking out, but forcing herself to keep it all together, Tobin fixed her bag on her shoulder, and took Alex’s bag from her. She walked down the hall adjusting her grip on the bag a few times to try and keep herself calm. She was sharing a room with Alex. It never occurred to her that was the plan. She thought she would be sharing with Meghan and Alex would be with Morgan. But they were dating, and her best friend and Alex’s best friend were kind of dating, so maybe this was the plan all along. She could do this. Her mind flashed back to the car in the parking lot, to Alex on top of her, she thought about the day they spent together, how Alex had told her to wait, was this what she was waiting for? Did Alex want to hold off until now when they could be alone away from anyone possibly walking in?  
   
The room was a good size, a queen bed with two nightstands, a dresser with a flat screen on top, two windows on either side of the bed and a door that led to the bathroom. _The bathroom_ The one she would be sharing with Alex. She was not prepared for this at all. Was it too late to ask Meghan to make up an excuse to have Tobin share a room with her? Was it too late for her to run out screaming? Was Alex feeling the same way?

"I'm going to shower first, I have to put on make up and all that," Alex closed the door behind them and headed over to the bathroom to turn on the water.

Maybe she wasn't feeling as nervous as Tobin was, "Uh-okay, sounds good."

Alex came out the bathroom to grab her clothes from her bag, she looked over at her girlfriend who was nervously rubbing the back of her neck. "You're nervous,” She said simply.

Tobin looked over at her, "Nope, why would you say that?"

"Because you're nervous," she smiled. She walked over to her girlfriend and put her arms around her waist kissing her cheek. Alex was starting to figure out her girlfriend, her nervous habits becoming easier to spot, and what to do was now easy to figure out, "Its okay if you're nervous. I can ask Moe if she wants to share a room."

"No," Tobin said quickly, "No I can do this." She leaned in and kissed her, putting a little pressure behind it trying to convey confidence, "I want to do this."

Alex could tell Tobin was still stuck in her head, "Honestly, it makes me a little nervous too."

Tobin let out a long breath, "Really?"

"Of course," she said with a smile, "But it'll be okay, and if it gets too scary I'll kick you out to sleep on the couch with JJ."

She started to laugh, "Sounds like a plan."

The butterflies were still floating around in Tobin's stomach making themselves known, reminding her that she still wasn't as cool as she was trying to be, but at least Alex was feeling the same way, even if it was only a little bit. The best thing to do now was to get ready for the party and when the time came to curl up in bed she would figure out then if she was truly ready. 

Tobin looked down in her bag, she had packed a lot of stuff including one button up flannel shirt that she really liked, but was it party material? She had packed the shirt hoping to wear it at night if they sat around outside and it got cold, or something along those lines, but she wasn’t sure if it was okay to wear to her first ever party. She stood there staring at the shirt, her eyes darting back and forth from the flannel to her bag on the bed. 

Alex looked up from her bag to see Tobin trying to solve some kind of problem in her head, “What’s going on Tobin Heath?”

She looked up at the calm and cool girl standing across from her. Great, now she was going to have to admit that she had no idea what she was doing, though she was pretty sure Alex already knew that. “I’ve never been to a party, I don’t really know what to wear," she said shyly holding up the shirt, "I have a T-shirt too, I don't know what kind of party this is."

Alex picked up the shirt, then reached in the bag and took out a grey T-shirt, "Either one of these is good."

"You sure?" She asked nervously.

She walked over and kissed her cheek, "You look hot in anything.”

Tobin’s cheeks turned red. How was it possible for that girl to get this kind of reaction from her this easily? She wasn’t really thinking about looking hot, more like not looking like a complete loser, but now that Alex said something, the idea was floating around in her head. Was she going to look hot? Was it possible for her to look hot enough to maybe persuade Alex to do a little more than just cuddling tonight? That look Alex was sporting, maybe she wasn’t going to have to do much persuading. 

 

"Tobs?" Someone called through the door, taking her out of her thoughts.

Tobin went over and opened the door to find Lindsey with a soccer ball under her arm, "What's up?"

"Let's go kick around until the party starts, unless you're making out in there," She wiggled her eyebrows.

She shook her head then lunged forward to hit the ball out from under her friends arms, "I guess I can kick your ass at keepy-uppy for a few minutes." She looked over at her girlfriend, “I'll be back in like fifteen minutes."

"Okay babe, have fun,” Alex said shaking her head.

 

Alex went into the bathroom and jumped in the shower the hot water hitting her skin, quickly relaxing her. She had been wound up all day. Her biggest fear going on this trip was Meghan and Tobin. She was afraid Meghan would still be stuck on hating her, on trying to find a way to push her out of Tobin’s life and she would have to be on guard all day, but it was the opposite. Meghan was talking to her as if they had been talking for years, and she was as nice as Alex thought she would be. Now that they were okay Tobin was more at ease, she was talking more, cracking jokes and seemed more comfortable in the group of girls then Alex thought she would be. All her fears were gone and she enjoyed watching the game, but no matter how great she felt about Meghan and Tobin and the rest of the group she still had one more fear lingering, the girl that made her the most nervous, Christen.

Christen was really sweet, she sat a few seats down from Tobin, and really didn’t pay much attention to her in the first half of the game, but for some reason the second half the girl was fired up and Tobin seemed to be the focus of her attention. Christen was leaning over every couple of plays and telling Tobin something about what was happening on the field, it was all professional stuff, kicks, tricks and plays, but still it bothered Alex. It wasn’t the talking, it was who was doing it. Christen was way too beautiful for her own good and that bothered Alex to her core. Christen’s voice was way too sweet, the words she chose were too great, she used words a level above what they needed to be, showing how smart she was, but she never did it obnoxiously so. Her laugh was too light, airy with a tone that showed how innocent it was, how innocent she was. All in all Christen was too amazing to hate and that made Alex hate her.

As she started shampooing her hair she heard a knock at the door, and a voice announcing themselves.

"Hey Lex it's me," Morgan said coming into the steam filled room.

"Hey pervert," Alex laughed, "You trying to see me naked."

"Been there done that," Morgan laughed leaning up against the sink, "I came to check on you."

Alex turned her head trying to figure out what her best friend was talking about, "Checking on me for what?"

Morgan crossed her arms, "Well for one you're mini freak out on The Tobs before the game."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Alex said with a little laugh, "We're okay, we talked it out."

"Yeah I know, but why did you freak out?" She waited for a few seconds and when she get an answer she responded to her own question, "Was it Christen?"

Alex shut off the shower and rang out her hair. She grabbed a towel just outside the shower wrapping it around herself and stepping out to see her friend, "Yeah," she answered honestly, there was no way of hiding this from her best friend, "I was watching them play soccer and I kind of just got the urge to be a complete bitch to my girlfriend, you know how it is.”

Laughing because she knew exactly what Alex was talking about, she shook her head. ”Why, it's just soccer babe?"

Alex pushed her wet hair back with her hand, "Because she so… Perfect." Alex huffed out, she leaned against the wall. "She's so pretty and happy and sweet and cheerful and she just that girl that you want to hate so much, but she makes it so hard because she’s super nice and everyone else likes her, so if you hate her you’re the asshole.”

“Yeah she is pretty nice, I was talking to her after the game.” Morgan said casually, “She seems like a really great person and I understand completely why you would want to hate her, but you shouldn’t. If you’re only reason to hate her is because she’s great, I think you should rethink it.”

“That’s not my only reason,” Alex said quickly, “She’s going to UNC with Tobin, and they are going to be there playing soccer and having fun, and probably staying in the same dorm, probably right across from each other, and they will see each other everyday, and she’ll always be beautiful and sweet and… it’s so stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, trust me, if it were Meghan that girl was interested in I would feel the same way, but you have to remember one thing.”

Alex looked up at her best friend, “What?”

“It’s Tobin,” she responded quickly, “That girl is crazy about you.”

"And I'm crazy about her," Alex said with a little smile, worry lines still present in her face, "I'm just, I don’t know, having a minor breakdown in my head.”

“Well, stop," she stepped closer to her best friend, putting her hands on the side of her head, "You're stuck in this head right now, you're thinking about Tobin like she's Val and that's not who she is."

Alex winced at the mention of her ex girlfriends name, "Yeah, I know."

"So get out of the Lex-Mix," she said referring to her nickname for Alex's wandering mind, "You're in Boston with your friends, about to party in a hotel where you have a lockable room you're sharing with your smokin’ hot girlfriend. Get dressed, get some drinks, and get laid."

Alex let out a laugh, "Yeah you're right." 

"I'm always right, hun." She said with a smile.

Morgan left the bathroom leaving Alex to get ready. Alex took out the clothes from her bag putting on a pair of jeans and a black tank top, staring down at the long sleeve shirt Tobin had on her bag, it was red black and grey checkers. Alex picked it up and held it close to her face, it smelled like Tobin, so Alex put it on rolling up the sleeves. She went into the bathroom and started on her make up.

 

—

 

"You just can't admit I'm better than you," Tobin laughed as she crashed into the room, "I show you up every time, just give up." She yelled to Lindsey, she closed the door behind her and went over to the bathroom door knocking softly, "Lex, you in there?"

"Yeah, I'm doing my make up," she called out.

"Okay, I'm going to shower when you're done," She responded going over to the bed to get her clothes ready, "Hey what happened to my button up?" 

Alex opened he bathroom door, "I borrowed it, is that okay?"

Tobin looked up at her girlfriend, she was in a tight pair of dark blue jeans and a black tank top cut low enough to send Tobin’s heart beat into overdrive. She had on Tobin’s shirt, not buttoned, with the sleeves rolled up and Tobin couldn't take her eyes off her.

"Uh-yeah," Tobin swallowed, "Thats, uh, that's fine."

Alex could tell by the look on her face that it was more than fine. She walked over to her girlfriend and put her arms on her shoulders, "So I look okay?"

"Uh-yeah," Tobin breathed out, "You look..."

Alex leaned in and kissed her, feeling Tobin’s hands on her hips pulling her in close. The best thing about Tobin Heath was the way she always supported her when she leaned forward and let her weight fall. Tobin always pulled her in close, she always set her hand in the perfect place to keep her up right but also hold them together. It was a good thing because Alex always felt a little weak when they kissed. She would close her eyes and feel those soft lips on hers and automatically her knees would start to buckle, but Tobin always kept her up. Usually, Alex would let the kiss go on just a little then pull back, but this time she licked across Tobin’s bottom lip, and that made her lips part just enough for Alex to slip her tongue in and explore. She wrapped her arms around Tobin’s neck pulling herself in closer making sure not even air could pass between them. Alex kissed her hard, running her fingers through her silky hair causing Tobin to shift her weight, making Alex move in a way that landed Tobin’s thigh right between her legs, causing Alex to let out a low moan. She felt Tobin kiss her harder at the sound, her hands now slipping down from her hips making their way down to an area that her girlfriend had never dared to explore before. Alex knew if she let this go on, she wouldn’t be able to stop it, so she gave her one last hard kiss then pushed away gently. 

“We have to get ready,” Alex said breathless.

Tobin looked down at her, those blue eyes bright against the light, “Yeah, we should… uh-we… Should get ready for the party.”

“Go take your shower, you’re sweaty.” She paused for a second, ”Why _are_ you sweaty?"

Tobin took a step back, "Oh the game got a little out of hand. Lindsey was talking shit so Chris, Kling and I had to shut her, Mal and Sammy up.

"You were playing with Christen?"

"Yeah, the UNC Three," she said happily. She grabbed her clothes off the bed then gave Alex a quick kiss on the cheek, "We are unstoppable."

Alex forced a smile, not letting her jealousy creep back up. Morgan was right, she needed to enjoy tonight with Tobin and not worry about anyone else possibly getting in their way.

 

—

 

The suite was all set up, the couches were pushed to the side making a dance floor. A table was set up for beer pong, and a few others placed around the room for other games Tobin had no idea about. The kitchen was set up with a bunch of food JJ and Mallory managed to find at the last minute, and more red plastic cups than Tobin had ever seen. They older guy from the barbecue showed up with Hope and dropped off a bunch of drinks, before heading back to his room to change and grab the rest of his friends. It was around the time everyone agreed to show up but the suite was still empty besides the group, and Tobin started to feel nervous, maybe no one was going to show up, but Becky assured her that no one showed up early for a party and they still had about an hour before anyone would be here. Tobin occupied her time by eating a couple mini sandwiches and going through the game with a few people. 

 

Alex walked out the room and spotted Tobin in the kitchen picking black olives out of a sandwich and tossing them in one of the many trash cans the group had stolen from outside and placed strategically throughout the suite. She looked around the room, surprised at how fast the group had set up the suite, when she spotted Morgan in the corner talking with Lindsey, they had set up a small speaker and the two were arguing about something.

“Hey what are you guys up to?” Alex asked. 

“Trying to convince this one that she can’t put half these songs on the playlist,” Morgan answered not looking at her friend.

“Listen, I know how to party,” Lindsey started off, “I know how to DJ, you have to trust me.”

“I don’t trust you,” Morgan laughed, “I’m telling you right now, this song is going to kill the party, but whatever, you do you.” She turned to see Alex, “You look hot.”

“Thanks,” Alex beamed, “So do you.”

Morgan reached over and grabbed the hem of the flannel shirt, “Who’s shirt?”

“Tobin’s.” Alex answered, out the corner of her eye she spotted Christen helping set up on of the tables, “Perks of having your girlfriend here, you get to steal her clothes.” She spoke louder than she was before. 

“You’re right, I need to start systematically stealing Meghan’s clothes, while I still can,” Morgan joked. She heard the way Alex made her last comment and she spotted Christen behind them, she was going to have to keep Alex in check for the rest of the night, or things would more than likely get out of hand. 

After the suite was as set up as they could possibly get it everyone gathered around the kitchen island. Morgan took a bunch of plastic cups and started to pour a clear liquid from one of the bottles into all the cups.

“Come on ya’ll, we are taking a shot before everyone else get’s here.” She passed out the cups making sure everyone but JJ and Mallory got one. “Okay, to new friends, and old friends, and every single one of us wearing the red white and blue… Cheers.”

Tobin watched as everyone held up their cups smacking them together and yelling ‘cheers’, then quickly drinking whatever was in the cups. She had never done this before, taking a shot sounded horrible, but she was in it now and there was no going back, so she did exactly what everyone else did, holding her cup up smacking against others and then drinking the liquid. 

“Oh Jesus, that’s nasty,” Tobin said through coughs. Whatever was in the cup burned the back of her throat and left a disgusting taste in her mouth, “What was that? Poison?”

Alex spun around and kissed her cheek, “Okay, so you are not a fan of vodka, that’s okay.”

“Is vodka some kind of foreign word for ‘death drink’?” She asked taking a coke from the counter and opening it up. She took a swig of the coke swishing it around in her mouth. “People drink that for fun?”

“I don’t,” Alex laughed loudly, “Don’t worry babe, I’ll make you something good.”

The words hit Tobin like a ton of bricks, she was going to be drinking. It didn’t really occur to her as she was getting ready that she was going to drink. She heard the plans to get alcohol, she heard everyone talking about drinking, but she never really thought about the fact that she would be expected to drink as well. She looked over to Meghan who was opening a blue beer bottle with a silver label and taking a sip like it was nothing. Tobin wasn’t really shocked, after all Meghan’s family was cool about drinking and let Meghan have a beer during football games and wine at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Tobin’s family was not as cool. She had seen her parents drink maybe a handful of times and each time it was one drink and done. Her dad had a few six packs in the house and her mom had a few bottles of wine but that was on a very rare occasion. The Heath’s were not drinkers, and that meant Tobin had no idea what the hell she was doing. 

Alex was already grabbing cups from the counter and bottles looking at the labels. She was seasoned at drinking, Tobin had seen the various photo’s of her at parties with identical red plastic cups in her hand. They way she was inspecting the bottles and measuring out the drinks without any regard for actual measurement devises, meant she wasn’t worried. _Maybe you should just chill out and try to be cool._ Tobin’s mind was on overdrive, what the hell was she going to do?

“So what do you like?” Alex asked.

Tobin drew a blank, she couldn’t even think of a type of liquor besides what she just drank and there was no way she was going to put that in her mouth ever again. She had two options, make something up and hope not to sound like a fool, or tell her the truth. She looked over and shrugged. 

“Honestly,” She leaned in close, “I’ve never drank before.”

Alex pulled her head back and smiled. “You’re so sweet Tobin Heath.” She planted a quick kiss on her cheek that served to put a huge grin on Tobin's face. “So the first question I have to ask is, do you want to drink tonight, you don’t have to.”  
   
As she scanned the room she saw almost everyone with either a red cup in their hands or a beer bottle. She would probably be the only one who wasn’t drinking, besides JJ who never drank and Mallory who was way too young. She had this talk with her parents before. If she was ever at a party and people were drinking she should just say no and not feel pressure to drink. ‘You can be cool drinking soda.’ Her mom told her. But that talk was when she was fifteen, she was an adult now, and if she could sign up for the military she could have a drink. Plus when was a good time to have her first drink? She was in a room, no intention of driving, she had friends around her that could help if something happened. Hope was more of an adult than anyone she knew. She surprisingly remembered exactly were a hospital was, all those years of her dad telling her to scout places before she left on a trip. This was a new and improved her, after all, she was cool Tobin and cool Tobin could have a drink.  
   
“Yeah, I want to drink.” She told her girlfriend.  
   
“Okay, if you’re sure,” Alex said with a smile, “take a sip of this.”  
   
Tobin took the cup and took a small drink. It tasted tart at first but the after taste made her want to gag “That’s gross.” She laughed.  
   
Alex chuckled. “Okay not Cranberry and Vodka fan, now we know.”

“Keep vodka away from me,” Tobin protested. 

Alex laughed searching around for another bottle, “Smell this.” She said holding a bottle up to her nose. 

Hesitantly, Tobin leaned down and sniffed the bottle, “That smells like a locker room, a really dirty locker room.”

“Okay… no tequila, that’s fine.” Alex reached for another bottle, “Smell this.”

Again she was nervous but determined she leaned forward and took a whiff, “That’s not too bad.”

“Awesome, give me a second,” she took the bottle and poured some into a cup then filled the rest with coke, “Taste this.”

Tobin took the cup from her hand and took a sip, “That’s pretty good.”

“Jack and Coke huh,” Alex smiled taking a sip from her own drink, “Now we know.”

Tobin took another sip, “I guess we do.”

 

—

 

It didn’t take long for the party to get started. The guys from the barbecue showed up first with a bunch of beer in a cooler, they introduced themselves to the girls they had yet to meet and settled in the suite like it was their own. Lucky for them one of the guys was in town for a gig and had four large speakers, so they didn’t have to use their small bluetooth speaker. He set them up in the corner with a hook up to Lindsey’s iPod and the music started to play loud enough to rattle their chest. Then the people from the game showed up bringing a bunch of people with them and a keg along with a few snacks. Soon the party was on full blast, the suite filled up and everyone was dancing and drinking. 

 

Tobin was standing in the corner in the kitchen, Alex was in a discussion with a few people from the game, and Tobin didn’t really know what to do at a party so she thought it better to stay close to Alex. The place was crowded, people were everywhere and some of them had spilled outside, Tobin couldn’t help but think about what the manager of the hotel would say, if it was okay to have this many teenagers drinking, hopefully they wouldn’t get in trouble. She wanted to ask about it, but decided that new cool Tobin wouldn’t ask such a question, she wouldn’t even worry about getting in trouble, so she stood in the corner sipping her drink watching everyone at the party. 

“Yo, Tobs, come play pong,” Meghan called out. 

Tobin looked across the kitchen at her friend, “Pong?”

“Yeah, beer pong,” She laughed, “It’s fun.”

She shrugged, “I don’t know how to play.”

“Dude, it’s super easy,” Meghan chuckled, she was laughing a lot, “We will teach you.”

Tobin looked at Alex as if to ask if it was okay, when Alex smiled she broke away from the group and headed over to her best friend. 

“Awesome!” Meghan yelled, “Hey Chris, got you a partner.”

Alex looked up at the comment, she watched Meghan lead Tobin over to the beer pong table where Christen was waiting.

 

“So the object of the game is to throw the ping pong ball into the cups across the table,” Christen told Tobin as she made her way over to the table, “If we make it into a cup they take the cup away and they have to drink, and the first team to get all the cups wins.”

Tobin looked over at the cups across the table, they were set up like bowling pins, close together with the rims touching. She took the ping pong ball from Christen feeling the almost weightless object in her hand. She wasn’t too good at throwing things, but she had almost perfect depth perception, and the cups were pretty close, so she wasn’t really nervous.

“Okay, seems pretty simple,” She said with a smile. “Who goes first?”

“Ya’ll go first, since it’s Toby’s first time,” Morgan said with a huge smile, she was Meghan’s partner. 

Christen took the second ball pinching it between her fingers. She lined up her shot for a second before releasing the ball landing it in the middle cup. Raising her cup in the air she cheered. “Yeah, first cup.”

“Yeah, bitch cup,” Morgan joked, “Anyone can make the bitch cup. Let’s go Toby.”

Tobin leaned towards Christen, “Does it matter what cup I make?”

“No, anyone, besides the water cup on the side,” She said taking a sip of the drink she had on the side. 

“Cool,” she gripped the ball then squinted down at the cups. With a flick of her wrist she threw the ball and it landed in the first cup.

Christen held her hands in her air, “Nice shot Tobs.” She said with a laugh, “That’s balls back.”

Meghan fished the balls from the cup and rolled them back to the other side of the table, “Lucky shot.”

“Why do we get them back?” Tobin asked catching the ball before it fell on the ground. 

“Balls back,” Christen said as if Tobin really understood. She looked over to her and smiled, “If we both make the shot then we can go again.”

“Oh,” she grinned, “We should just keep doing that.”

Christen started to laugh, “Yeah we should.” She lined up her shot and threw the ball hitting the right most cup in the last row. “Hell yeah, heating up.”

Tobin shook her head, she had no idea what was going on. Squinting again, she gently tossed the ball landing in the left most cup in the last row.

“Woo, Tobs, that was awesome,” Christen shouted, “Say heating up!”

“Why?” Tobin laughed.

Christen put her hand on her shoulder “Because you have to say it. If you make this next shot, you’ll be on fire which means you shoot until you miss. So say heating up.”

“Heating up,” Tobin said with a shrug. 

“Balls back, ladies,” Christen taunted. 

“Ya’ll won’t make this next shot.” Morgan said throwing the balls back. 

Christen missed her next shot, Meghan was making faces at the other end of the table and she got distracted. Tobin stepped up to the line and threw the ball, not even paying attention to her best friend trying to distract her. She made the left cup on the middle row. 

“Say ‘on fire’” Christen cheered. 

Tobin started to laugh, “On fire.” She said casually as she grabbed the ball being rolled back to her. 

Christen stood behind Tobin, “Okay, Toby, you got this.”

Tobin shrugged again then tossed the ball sinking her next shot. There was a small crowd around them watching them play, though Tobin could tell by the group of girls still wearing their game jerseys who were eyeballing Christen, that they may have been more interested in who was playing the game and less about what was going on. Tobin got the ball back and made her next shot, and when people cheered some more people gathered around.

“Tobster, how are you this good at beer pong?” Lindsey questioned. 

“It’s just throwing a ball into a cup,” Tobin said simply, “it’s not a big deal.” She sank another shot. 

“No way!” Morgan yelled across the table, “I don’t believe you have never played before.”

“Trust me, she has never played before,” Meghan told her, “She won’t make this next shot.”

Tobin shrugged, and lined up her next shot. “If I don’t make it, what happens?” She asked Christen. 

Christen stood behind Tobin with her hands on her shoulders pushing down on Tobin while standing on her tip toes so she could talk in her ear, “Then they shoot, and they will miss of course, then we shoot again.”

Tobin felt Christen’s hands on her shoulders, her thumbs were pressed against her neck, she was talking so close to her that Tobin could feel her breath against her ear. She threw the ball, it bounced off the rim and landed on the table. 

“Told ya!” Meghan called out as she rescued the ball from hitting the floor, “There was no way she was going to make every shot.”

Morgan leaned over and kissed her cheek, “Now it’s our turn.”

Meghan, now flustered from the simple kiss, threw the ball, it hit a cup but didn’t go in. Morgan threw the ball sinking the first cup in the formation. Christen picked up the cup, half full with beer and chugged it, setting the cup to the side. She picked up the balls and handed one over to Tobin.

“Okay Tobs, we have three cups left, lets end this,” she threw the ball hitting the next shot, “Hell yeah! Tobin you gotta make this next shot.”

Looking down at the table she bent her elbow just enough to give her throw a little arch. The ball went in the cup making a little splash as it hit the beer inside. She watched Meghan and Morgan drink, as she stepped out the way for Christen to throw. The next shot missed, and it was all on Tobin. She liked the game, she liked the crowd of people around her watching it. She liked being next to Christen and smiling and laughing like they were friends again, like they had never not been friends. She looked down at the cup and realized if she made the shot the game was over and maybe she would have to stop playing, maybe she would have to stop being on Christen’s team and for some reason, she didn’t want that. She tried to put her arm off target but when she let go of the ball her natural instinct was to correct herself and the ball landed perfectly in the last remaining cup.

Everyone started to scream, people she didn’t even know were patting her on the back and telling her how awesome she was, and offering to make her a drink. Tobin had no idea why it was so great, she won the game, but in her eyes it was kind of a silly game to begin with, she just wanted to hang out with her friends. 

“Who wants to challenge The Tobinator?” Lindsey called out, holding Tobin’s arm up in the air. 

“No way,” Morgan put down one of the drinks she was forced to chug after loosing, “Tobin doesn’t get to play beer pong anymore.”

“Why?” Tobin cried out.

“Because you’re a freak dude,” Meghan said after slamming down an empty cup, “I don’t know how that was even possible. You stay away from the pong table, let people have a fighting chance.”

Alex stepped in grabbing Tobin’s hand. “They suck, I’ll make you another drink, come on babe.”

Tobin shrugged abandoning the beer pong table and letting herself be led over to the kitchen. As they pushed their way through the crowd she looked back and saw one of the girls that were watching them step into the spot next to Christen, apparently she was going to take Tobin’s place. That wasn’t really fair, she should be able to keep playing, after all she was really good at the game, and she liked being on Christen’s team. Alex was pulling her by the hand, Tobin had turned back around just in time to see Alex look back at her and smile and all the concern she had about the game melted away.  
   
“How are you feeling?” Alex asked as she poured another drink for them.  
   
Tobin thought for a second and gave the only honest answer she could give without taking a full assessment of her own body. “Warm.”  
   
“Wow stage one already,” She poured the whiskey into Tobin’s cup, a little more than last time.  
   
Tobin leaned against the counter. “There are stages?”  
   
“Yup.” Alex said as she poured the coke into the cup. “There’s: warm/good, tipsy, handsy, drunk, wasted, and blackout.”  
   
This made Tobin laugh, who came up with these silly rules. “What’s handsy?”  
   
With a raised eyebrow and an evil grin Alex reached over and wrapped her arms around Tobin’s waste pulling her in. She kissed her hard and let her hands fall to grab Tobin’s ass. This made the shy girl jump up, a nervous laugh coming out of her as she looked around to see if anyone had seen what just happened.  
   
“That’s handsy,” Alex gave her a wink as she handed her the drink and started walking towards the group she’d been talking with.  
   
 _I like handsy_ Tobin thought as she took a sip from her drink. That was stage four of the six stages, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get there, but if she did maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

 

—

 

The party was roaring on, it seemed like it was getting bigger, people Tobin no longer recognized were in their hotel suite drinking and talking with other people. As much as she wanted to be concerned with how many people were here, and how the hell they were all going to get out of here when the time came, she wasn’t really worried about it. This was her first party and she was loving it. The music was perfect, popular songs and dance remixes of some of her favorite rock songs. The dance floor was in full swing with bodies rubbing up against each other, making it perfectly clear what the intentions were for practically everyone at the party. The guys were chatting up girls, the girls were chatting up girls and everyone seemed to be keeping track of someone at the party, and Tobin knew it was because everyone wanted to get as lucky as she was hoping to get at the end of the night. 

She was on her third drink, and that served to make her wrap her arm around Alex a little tighter, and kiss her cheek at random, Alex definitely didn’t mind as she stuck close to her. The only reason they had to break apart was when a few people called them over to play a game called flip cup, and Alex warned Tobin against it, but the alcohol in her system made her want to play a game, and the competitive nature she had made her want to win. 

The game was simple, chug a beer and flip over on the edge of the table until it turned over landing right side up. The name of theses drinking games were pretty self explanatory, so far she played beer bong which consisted of throwing a pong ball into beer and now she was going to play flip cup the object of the game being to flip a cup, but then again drinking games should be that simple seeing as though you are drinking when you play them. 

Tobin was in the middle of a group of five girls, she filled her cup with beer from a silver can with a picture of a mountain on the side. She looked up to see who she was facing, and across from her were the incredibly green eyes of Christen Press.

“We’re on opposite teams,” Chris said with a smile.

Tobin returned her smile, “I guess I have to kick your ass.”

“I guess you can try,” she winked. 

Alex was standing next to Tobin and she looked over to Christen giving a not so convincing smile. Before she had time to say anything JJ was on the end of the table, calling out the rules, she was the only one the other drunk people trusted to be judge since she was sober. After she explained the simple rules the game was on. 

The teams were cheering on the drinkers, they chanted and banged on the table reminded Tobin of the soccer game, so this was drinking, it was pretty fun. Soon it was her turn and she had to drink all that liquid in that, now larger than she remembered cup. She started to drink, and now she new she did not like the taste of beer, but winning was more important than taste. She was done surprisingly fast, and set the cup upside down, like she had seen everyone else do, then looked up to see Christen just finishing her drink. Tobin needed to focus, she used two fingers to gently flick the cup up and it landed perfectly on the table right side up. She looked over at Alex who immediately started to drink. 

Alex was done drinking and set her cup down before Christen had a chance to flip her cup correctly. Alex was no stranger to drinking games and this happened to be her specialty, and if she didn’t feel the need to be next to Tobin she probably would have chosen to be the anchor, but the team had pulled far ahead thanks to Tobin’s surprising ease at the game. Alex set the cup down and easily flipped it over in one try. By then Christen had finally got her cup over, but the race was pretty much over, and that brought more joy to Alex then she thought it would. Maybe it was winning with Tobin, or maybe it was beating Christen, whatever it was Alex was in a great mood.

“Better luck next time Pressy,” Tobin said with a big smile.

Christen shrugged, “Next time, you’re on my team.”

Alex hooked her finger in the collar of Tobin’s shirt pulling her down to kiss her, “You’re always on my team, right babe?”

Of course Tobin had a big goofy grin, “Right.” 

“Not next year,” Christen said under her breath. 

Alex caught the comment and was about to say something when she felt a tug on her shirt, she spun around to see Morgan pulling her on the dance floor. 

“Let’s dance Lex,” Morgan said saving her best friend from making a scene.

Alex knew exactly what she was doing and agreed to go on the dance floor and cool off. Tobin offered to make her another drink and headed to the kitchen while the best friends danced. 

Tobin was standing by the kitchen counter she had made drinks for her and Alex, but decided to chill out and eat some food while her girlfriend was out on the dance floor. She wasn’t alone long, Meghan was soon standing with her. 

“How’s the party?” Meghan asked, “How’s everything going with Alex?”

“Great,” Tobin answered her mouth full of bread, “She’s dancing with Moe.”

Meghan could here the slur in her friends words, “How many drinks have you had?”

“Uhhh,” Tobin thought for a second, she had two drinks, then chugged a beer, plus the first shot they took, and she was past tipsy and heading straight for the next stage, “Maybe a little too much, I’m going to drink some water while I can still think straight.”

“Don’t think too straight,” Meghan said point towards the dance floor where their girlfriends were dancing on each other. 

She swallowed hard, “Yeah.” Was all she could get out. 

Alex had been great the whole night, touching her arm, whispering in her ear, kissing her at random times, she was making all the hints that Tobin thought she was supposed to make and of course Tobin was trying to hint as well. It was about the end of the first drink that she made up her mind about the whole thing. She was ready and she wanted Alex, she just needed to figure out a way to make sure Alex knew she was ready. 

“Hey why aren’t you out there dancing?” Sam came up to them grabbing some food. “Your girl is out there, and I have to say she looks hot.”

“Toby can’t dance,” Lindsey laughed, “Come on, you think she can dance.”

Meghan chimed in sticking up for her friend, “Tobin can dance.”

Lindsey started to laugh, “There’s no way she can dance.”

“What do you mean?” Tobin asked, still distracted by Alex. 

The clearly intoxicated Lindsey tried to stop laughing, “Uh, come on Toby, I love ya, and I can admit you are the mother fucking queen on the field, ya know when I’m not around. But, but, but I have an extremely hard time believin you can dance. Sorry bruh, I just can’t see it, I can’t see you bustin a move, it’s impossible.”

“I’ll have you know, I am a spectacular dancer, and you my friend, are a jerk.” Tobin laughed. 

“Fuck that,” Lindsey yelled, “Prove that shit right now.”

“Yeah, come on Tobin, let’s see if you can dance,” Sam said. 

“Okay, but I have a request,” Tobin said, her voice a little shaky. “I need latin music.”

“What?!” Lindsey shouted, “Latin music, why?”

Tobin held her hand out, “Don’t worry, I just need to dance to latin music, it’s the only way.”

“Fine, fine, give me two seconds and I’ll switch it.” Lindsey called out, then moved through the crowd to get to her ipod. 

Christen was standing over there and heard the whole conversation, “I take it I am the only one who can dance to latin music, so I’ll be your partner Toby, I mean as long as it’s not like salsa or something.”

“Nah, nothing like that.” Tobin smiled. 

The two approached the dance floor not daring to step on until the next song played. As the latin guitar rang out Tobin reached over and grabbed Christen’s hand. ‘Despacito’ was playing and everyone had switched their moves up to match the song. Tobin led Christen on the floor and started to move slowly to the music. 

Much to everyone’s surprise, Tobin was moving her feet perfectly to the beat, and Christen was keeping up with every move. The song was slow enough for Tobin’s drunk mind to remember everything she knew how to do. She could hear everyone calling her name cheering her on, but the music had taken over and she was in the moment with her partner who didn’t have to guess any of her moves, they were in sync. 

Tobin could see Christen mouth the words to the song perfectly, the chorus coming on, and she got closer to Tobin, holding her hands, moving in and out as her hips swayed back and fourth. Tobin knew the words too, and sang some of them out loud, though in a really bad accent, but she didn’t care she was dancing, and having so much fun. She moved out and got a little more confident when the chorus started again, she held up her hand and made the motions with her hands for Christen to ‘come on’ and the confident girl moved closer allowing Tobin to take full lead. 

This was something Tobin knew how to do well, she knew how to dance, and she was not shy in showing it. She took Christen’s hand and made the motion for her to spin, which Christen read perfectly, they did a few spins and twist before Christen put her back against Tobin’s front and swayed her hips against her. Tobin didn’t take in how dirty the dancing truly was, she was just happy to be moving to the music. They moved apart enough for Christen to turn around, and pick up her hangs, moving in and out her feet moving back and fourth.

“Despacito, this is how we do it down in Puerto Rico.” Christen called out as the part of the song came on. “I just wanna hear you screaming, "¡Ay, Bendito!”

Tobin step up, “I can move forever cuando esté contigo.”

In sync they both call out “¡Bailalo!”

The continued to dance until the song was over and a new one blended in. The whole group came over and starting talking to them.

“How?” Lindsey called out, “I don’t get it, where?”

Tobin laughed, “I wanted to learn to move my feet better and I heard football players took ballet, so I went for a class and all they had left was latin dancing so I took it, and I liked it so I kept up with it.”

“Damn, Toby, you got some moves.” Sam said putting her arm around Tobin, “You too Chris, I mean, I’m a little turned on.”

Christen gave her a little push on the shoulder, “Please, it was all Tobin out there. I had no idea you could move like that.”

“It helps to have you with me, I mean, there’s no way to do all that without a partner.” Tobin grinned. 

“I’ll always be your partner,” She said with a huge smile, “Maybe one day I’ll be good enough to be Tobin Heath.” She reached over and plucked the hat off Tobin’s head and put it on. 

 

Alex had made her way from the dance floor to the kitchen for another drink and to hangout for a little while. She found JJ and Becky in the corner talking with a few people, and settled into the kitchen. She wasn’t really paying too much attention when the dancing started, she heard the song play, but wasn’t really concerned until she heard Tobin’s name being called out. She watched her dance, a little more shocked at the fact that her girlfriend could dance to realize who she was dancing with. Once she got her mind together she saw it was Christen who was dancing on her girlfriend, and not in a friendly way. She heard the other girls talking about how Tobin was proving she could dance, and she figured out what was going on, but it didn’t make her any less heated up about Christen and the way she was moving against Tobin. 

Morgan was holding onto Alex’s arm while the song was playing. She was whispering in her ear. “Lex, it’s just dancing.” She said quickly, feeling the anger build up in her best friend, “It’s Tobin, she’s not doing anything wrong, let her dance.”

Alex tried to nod her head, and look less like she was about to explode but she couldn’t. How was she supposed to be okay when that girl was all over her Tobin?

“Hey, it’s Tobin,” Morgan said noticing how upset Alex was starting to get. “That girl doesn’t even know how to flirt.”  
   
She was right, Tobin had no idea how to flirt, she was sweet and was probably completely unaware that she was giving off some serious vibes at that second. “Yeah I know. But she knows.” Alex was talking about Christen..  
   
“Lex, don’t worry so much, it’s fucking Tobin Heath. She wouldn’t do anything.” Morgan reassured her friend.  
    
Alex gave her friend a quick smile before she took another drink. "Yeah, I know."

Alex could hear the words coming from her best friend, she knew she was right, but it was hard to watch. When the song was over the group surrounded the two dancers and Alex felt a lot better having people between them, and no more dancing going on. She was about to give it up and chalk it all up to stupid jealousy that was completely baseless because Tobin was her girlfriend and no one could change that, when she saw Christen take Tobin’s hat and put it on her head, that was the last straw, Alex broke.

It wasn't a march or a storm, it was a brisk walk. Alex made her way from the kitchen to the living room. She heard Morgan call after her but honestly she was in a little bit of a tipsy state and there was no putting on the brakes at this point. She went over to the two girls and put her arm around Tobin's waist slipping between them.

Shocked by the sudden connection Tobin jumped a bit, "Oh hey babe." She said innocently. By the look in her eye, Tobin had no idea what was happening.

"Hey babe,” Alex said trying not to sound too angry, this wasn't Tobin's fault. "Come over here and keep me company."

It was a strange request, Alex was with Morgan she had company, but she wasn't one to turn her down. "Okay, I could use some water, it’s hot out here.”

Alex turned to the girl behind her, she smiled but she knew it came off more bitchy then nice, "Can I have my girlfriends hat?" _Yeah that cam out super bitchy._

Christen caught the hint quickly. "Yeah sorry I was just making fun of her." And she was. She took the hat to mock Tobin, not to piss Alex off, well maybe a little to piss Alex off, after all the shorter girl was acting super territorial over Tobin all night and it was kind of pissing Christen off. Tobin was here to hang with everyone, not just stay glued to Alex’s side all night. 

Taking the hat Alex turned around and put it back on Tobin's head. She took her hand and led her to the kitchen. 

Tobin shrugged and gave Christen a little smile before she followed her girlfriend to the kitchen. Before she had a chance to think Alex had backed her into the corner of the cabinets where Morgan and now Meghan were standing. She felt her back hit the corner a little rougher then she would have liked, then Alex was kissing her, it was rough, she was putting a lot of pressure behind it. The kiss didn't feel loving, it felt a little like she was being marked and then it hit her. She was being marked. Alex was marking her, claiming her as her own.

Should she be upset? I mean she had never been in this situation before. No one had ever needed to claim her as there’s because she never belonged to anyone. Did she belong to someone now? Alex turned around and put her back against Tobin's front leaning on her and pulling her arm up around her waist. Yes, she was officially marked, and maybe in trouble, again.

Everyone continued to talk, but Tobin didn't feel much like talking. She felt like she was on punishment. But what for? She and Christen were just dancing and talking, yeah so the dancing was a little… Risky?… but that’s how latin dancing was. Actually, if she thought about it, that was really tame compared to the videos she watched. And so what she took her hat, she was joking around. The more she thought about it the more upset she got. Suddenly she was uncomfortable with Alex leaning against her. She didn't want to be there anymore. She felt like eyes were on her, like everyone knew something she didn't. Her body was hot, her vision a little blurry, she needed to get out of there, like now.

"Hey I'm going to get some air,” Tobin said a little too loudly. "I'll be right back."

She moved quickly handling Alex with care but with efficiency. Her hands were hot, her whole body was burning up. She walked out of the suite to the front where some people had been talking. There was a bench just to the side, she went over and sat down. It felt good to sit, she wasn't sure she could stand at the moment.

"Hey dude,” Meghan came out to her friend. She saw the whole thing with Alex, and how distraught Tobin seemed in the kitchen. "You okay."

Tobin was sitting forward, her elbows on her knees. She rubbed her face. "I have no idea what just happened."

Meghan chuckled as she sat down. "You got in trouble."

"For what?" She was talking way louder then she needed to. “Dancing?”

The clearly less intoxicated girl leaned back on the bench. “Yeah, dancing, and flirting with Christen I assume."

"I wasn't flirting." She exclaimed with a little slur to her words. "We were dancing, she was the only one who could dance to that kind of music, it was no big deal. We’re friends; Alex knows that."

"Sure, but that's not what it looked like."

Tobin hit her leg with her fist. "How did it look?"

“I don’t even think it was the dancing that really bothered her. I mean, it was dancing, it was a certain kind of music, and I think Alex knows that it meant nothing.”

Now even more confused, she asked, “What the hell is she so mad about?”

“Dude she took the SnapBack." 

"So what?" Tobin put her hand on her head feeling the hat. "It's just a hat."

"Nope it's the Tobin Heath SnapBack." 

Tobin took the hat off and looked at it. It was simple, black with the US national team logo on it, the bill was curled a little from her always pushing it down on her head. "It's just a hat, I’ve got like five of these things."

Meghan laughed at her friend, she did not understand at all. "Whatever hat you are wearing at the time is the Tobin Heath SnapBack. The only people allowed to dawn the Tobin Heath Snapback is: Tobin Heath herself, me Meghan ‘Best Friend’ Klingenberg, and now officially Alex ‘Girlfriend’ Morgan. And guess who put it on, Christen ‘Has A Fucking Crush On You’ Press. She is not on the list."

"So she's angry over a hat?"

“She's angry over what the hat represents.”

“And what’s that?” Tobin asked.

Meghan shrugged, “Your relationship.”

"This is so stupid,” Tobin put the hat on the bench. "How was I supposed to know?"

Knowing her best friend truly didn't understand how the events went down Meghan felt bad for her. Tobin was a good person, she wasn't flirting with Christen. She knew Tobin was insane over Alex, there was no way she meant for anything to happen. The girl sitting next to her confused over a hat was not even close to the type that would get a girlfriend and then flirt with someone else.

"Come on champ, let's get back inside." Meghan clapped Tobin's back. "It'll be okay."

As they started to walk towards the door Alex was coming out. Tobin stopped and waited for her while Meghan moved on to give them some privacy.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, she knew what was wrong.

Tobin shook her head. "Apparently I'm in trouble."

"With who?" She looked around pretending to search for someone.

“You," Tobin claimed holding up her hand. "Over a hat."

Alex was chuckling but she didn't think it was funny. "You're not in trouble."

"You put me in a corner!” _I didn't mean to shout that._

"I didn't put you in a corner!” _Why am I talking so loud. Calm down Alex._

"Uh-yeah you did." _This was stupid, just talk to her normally._

"Sorry I didn't mean to put you in a fucking corner. I was trying to get you to pay attention to me instead of her." _This is Tobin, your Tobin, she didn't know what was going on, don't yell at her. Just take a deep breath and talk to her, explain it, it’ll be okay._

"You were dancing with Morgan. I was just dancing and having fun with my friends." _It wasn't anything. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you._

"Yeah with the girl you like." _She doesn't like her, she likes you. Why did I say that?_

"Christen and I are just friends." _We are, please can't you see that._

"Yeah you looked really friendly out there, she was all over you.” _Jesus, Alex don't do that, look at her face, look at those eyes. She didn’t know, it’s Tobin._

"What are you talking about?" _I don't understand, you know how I feel about you._

"She still likes you." _But she doesn't like her. She likes you, she’s with you. What are you doing?_

"No she doesn't." _I'm pretty sure she doesn't. It doesn't matter, I want you._

"How can you not see a problem with her dancing with you, wearing your stuff?" _Because she’s sweet, because she’s innocent, because she’s Tobin._

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal." _Please don't be mad at me. I hate when you’re mad at me. I’m sorry._

"If you think that's not a big deal than maybe you are not ready for this." _No, don't you dare say that to her._

"What?" _What?_

"Maybe you're not ready to be in a relationship." _Take it back, you're over reacting. Take it back right now Alex, Take. It. BACK_.

"Are you serious." _What is happening?_

"Maybe it's just too much for you." _What the hell? No, don’t say that to her._

"Maybe it is?" _I can't breathe._

"Maybe we shouldn't be together." _Please tell me I'm wrong. Stop me Tobin. Stop me right now. Hug me. Kiss me. Something, anything, just stop me. Please._

"Oh." _I can't breathe._

"Yeah." _Don't give up, this is it Tobin, please we talked about this, fight please. I can't stop myself, you have to stop me. Please stop me. Tobin._

"Okay." _…_

"Okay." _No._

Tobin felt her whole body start to give up. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She only knew how to do one thing, move. She started to walk away.

Alex watched her walk away. Her brain firing all at once. _Say something to her. Run after her._ She couldn't move, she couldn't say anything. Tears came hot and fast down her cheeks. She was about to fall to her knees when she felt arms around her.

"Come on,” It was Morgan, she had seen the whole thing. She grabbed her best friend and sent Meghan to get Tobin. She pulled Alex inside and to the back room. 

"What did I do?" Alex whispered as she fell to the bed and buried her face in the pillows. "What did I do?"

 

Meghan had to jog to catch up to her friend. She stopped Tobin at the edge of the street. “Dude, where are you going?"

Tobin turned around, she was in tears. Meghan had only seen her like this a few times and this was the worst. Her whole body was shaking, she sat down on the curb and hid her face in her hands.

"I don't understand." Tobin sobbed. "It's just a hat."

Meghan put her arm around her back and leaned against her. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened either."

"I want to go home." She sobbed.

"Dude we've been drinking, we can't drive." Now she wished she would have done what she always did, looked after Tobin. "Maybe we can find another place to stay.”

“No,” a voice called out. 

Tobin looked up to see Julie standing over them, “What?” She cried out. 

“You need to get up, right now.” JJ said with conviction, enough to make Tobin stand up like she was being commanded and hand no other choice. “I have known Alex for a long time, and I know what she does. She get’s upset and she ruins things, whenever things are going great, she finds a way to fuck it up, and it’s up to you to fix it.”

“I…” Tobin sniffed, wiping her face with the collar of her shirt, “I can’t, she hates me.”

“No Tobin, she far from hates you,” JJ looked as serious as she could get, “That girl is crazy about you, she had been since I can even remember. Every single person Alex has ever dated… including me… they have all been place holders, just someone there until she could get to who she really wanted to be with, the person she was meant to be with, and that’s you Tobin. It hurts to say, but you have always been the person Alex wanted. Now she is scared. You guys will be separated in two months, and she won’t get to see you, to hug you, to kiss you, and that scares her so she is pushing you away, it’s what she does, but it’s up to you to not let her.”

Tobin tried to wipe the tears from her face once again, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah you do,” JJ smiled, “It’s Alex. March in there demand to talk to her, demand that she listen, and you tell her how you feel, you tell her how much she means to you and you don’t let her walk away until she’s yours again.”

“Are… Are you sure that’ll work,” Tobin sobbed. 

“Hell yes,” JJ called out. She used the sleeve of the long sleeve shirt she was wearing to wipe the rest of the streaks from Tobin’s face, “Get your ass in there and get your girl.”

Tobin was fired up, she straighten her hat on her head and took a deep breath, thanking JJ with her eyes before she pushed past her and headed for the room. She moved through the crowd of bodies and made it to the hallway. JJ was right, she couldn’t let Alex go, she couldn’t let it end like this, she wouldn’t loose the girl she was falling in love with over something like this, she would’t let Alex push her away.

Alex and Morgan had went into their room, and Tobin was now knocking on the door, hope filling her heart, but panic filling her mind.

Morgan opened the door and stepped out, “Hey Tobin.”

“I need to talk to her,” she said with the bravest voice she had, “I have to get her back.”

“Okay, just be careful, Alex pushes back when she feels like something is too much, and honestly she’s gone through a lot, and this is still one of the biggest things she’s ever gone through.”

“I can do this,” Tobin said with confidence. “I have to do this.”

Morgan stepped aside and let Tobin open the door. 

As she got into the room she saw the bed was empty, Alex had made her way to the bathroom and locked the door. Tobin closed the main door and locked it, not wanting anyone to interrupt them. She walked over to the bathroom door and knock gently. 

“Lex,” She said softly. “I know you are pissed at me, I know we are broken up but I just have to tell you something, so please listen and if you want me to go after then I promise I will leave you alone.” She didn’t hear and answer, so she decided it was best to get it all out. “Lex, I’m sorry, for the dancing, for the hat, for the flirting even though I didn’t really know what was going on, but I should have. I should have known that it would upset you, I should have known you. This is my fault, I didn’t think about you when I was doing all those things, I didn’t think about how upset you would be, and that was stupid, I was stupid. I messed it up, and I am so sorry, I have never been more sorry for anything ever. But I need you to know something. I need you to know this one thing and then I’ll go away…” She leaned her forehead against the door, her words needing to make it through the thick wood as clear as possible, “I’m falling in love with you Alex. I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know how to be a girlfriend, how to be this close with someone, how to do anything like this, but I want to figure it out. I want to figure it all out with you and I don’t ever want to figure it out with anyone else. I know I’m falling in love with you because my heart hurts right now, just thinking about you now wanting me makes my heart so heavy that it doesn’t even feel like it’s beating. I don’t know how to be in love, I have no idea how to be in love, but I want to be. I want to be in love with you, but it scares me. We have so much more to learn about each other, we have so many things to figure out, but I want to figure them out with you.” She tapped her finger on the door, pushing her head into the wood waiting for an answer. When she didn’t hear one she let her hand fall, “Well, that’s all. That’s it. I guess I’ll go now.”

She started to walk away, her heart wanting to burst in her chest when she heard the door open. She turned around to see Alex, her eyes blood shot from crying. 

“Hey,” Tobin whispered.

“Hey,” Alex said back, her head lowered, “You’re falling in love with me?”

Tobin took a step towards her, “Yeah… I am.”

Alex toyed with her fingers, her mouth was dry, she didn’t know what to do, the nerves building up in her. “I’m falling in love with you too.” She looked up at Tobin who had a smile on her face, “It’s really scary.”

“Yeah,” Tobin laughed a little, “Yeah it really is.”

“I’m sorry, I was acting crazy, I just, I am so scared of losing you,” Alex blurted out. “I am so scared you will figure out how absolutely insane I am and want to run far away. I’m messed up Tobin, I am so messed up and I am messing you up.”

“No, Lex, no.” Tobin took another step closer this time coming close enough for Alex to move forwards and crash into her arms burying her face in her shirt. “You’re not messed up, and you’re not messing me up. I’m messed up, I’m the one who screwed it all up tonight.”

Alex pressed her face further into Tobin’s shoulder, her words now muffled by the fabric of her shirt, “You didn’t do anything wrong, I did this. I hurt you. I was scared, and I hurt you and I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay baby, I promise, everything is okay now.” She held tight to her, pulling her in as close as she could. Kissing the top of her head she whispered. “Everything is okay, we are going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise?” Alex asked looking up into her girlfriends deep brown eyes. 

Tobin smiled down at her, “I promise.”

Together, they laid down on the bed, Alex laying her head on Tobin’s chest wanting to hear her heart beat. Tobin wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and held her close. The party was still going on, but they couldn’t hear anything except their breathing and the beats of their hearts starting to sync as they calmed down, laying together. It may have been the scariest moment in their lives, but it was all going to be okay now. They were going to figure it all out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some comments. Tell me what you think... you know if you want.
> 
> Also I am changing the description of the story to match more of how it is going, so don't be shocked when it is different, if you care about that kind of stuff.


	25. Riding in Cars with Tobin (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 weeks after Boston, and Tobin is growing more confident. She is hanging out with her friends, playing soccer daily, and living the life she always wanted, but what does her girlfriend have to say about New Tobin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Homies! So this is the Preath portion of the story, if you want some Talex action go to the next chapter, but I hope you stick around for this chapter too because it's great and kinda steamy. If there is any typos, well, I don't know.

Tuesday was already Tobin’s favorite day, she got to hang out with her best friend all day at work, not to mention sneaking kisses with Christen as much as possible, and she also got to play soccer. The game had grown, adding JJ and Becky to the group; Clint’s brother, who had too much interest in Becky, now played, and Morgan’s sister Jen joined for the Tuesday games. The game had gotten so big everyone had to start bringing a white shirt and a black shirt so they could tell the difference between teams. Tobin loved the expanded teams, and the now expanded field that was as big as a regulation sized field, she could run further and show off way more, and she loved to show off. But that wasn’t why she loved Tuesdays so much, it was after the game that she really looked forward to, when she got to spend alone time with Christen, that’s what made Tuesdays so great.  
   
It had been two weeks since the hotel and the first time they had their amazing experience together, and Tobin couldn’t get enough, it was all she really thought about. Most of her time was spent waiting until she could get her hands on Christen and do everything she wanted to do. Her head was filled with images, and sounds, and phantom touches and all she wanted was more. They spent the last week finding places to be alone, and time for Tobin to practice her new favorite skill that, according to Christen, she was becoming increasingly good at, the word she liked to use was mind-blowing. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, not that they would even if they had the capability. After the pickup games they would drive to a dark spot and park, and spend the rest of the night ‘practicing’. So maybe it was Tuesdays _and_ Thursdays that were Tobin’s favorite days.  
   
Christen thought it would take a while for her shy, anxious girlfriend to gain confidence in their new leisure activity, but she was wrong. Tobin was as confident as ever, her hands were always roaming finding new places to pull and push. Her fingers were skilled, almost shockingly so, but then again Tobin was just that type of person, she was good at almost everything she did especially if she had time to learn and figure it all out and Christen enjoyed their journey. Tobin had a way of pulling feelings out of her, every time was better than the last. How her shy Tobin was finding ways to top each performance was a mystery, but one she wasn’t complaining about.  
   
   
   
Christen was sitting on the hood of her car, Tobin was standing in between her legs pushed as close to her as possible, her hands drifting dangerously high on her legs. Christen’s legs were quickly becoming one of Tobin’s favorite things, they were long and smooth and perfectly toned and Tobin could spend all day running her hands the length of them. The way Tobin’s hands were on the underside of her lags, pulling them up while simultaneously pulling her entire body closer caused a low, unexpected and dirty moan slip past Christen’s lips, serving as a reminder that they were in public and they should probably slow down.    
   
“Okay, cool down babe,” Christen gave her eager girlfriend a little push, placing her hand on the tops of her shoulders to keep them apart.  
   
Tobin pushed forward just enough to place a quick kiss on her lips, smiling against them, “Why?”  
   
Christen kissed her again, “Because we are in public.”  
   
Tobin looked around at the empty park, “Yeah, but no one is here.” She pushed her hands further up Christen’s legs letting her fingertips go just under the hem of her shorts.  
   
“Yeah, but our friends will be here soon,” she replied with a smile trying to conceal how good it felt to have Tobin’s hands so high on her legs, “and I am sure they would have something to say about you feeling me up on the hood of my car.”  
   
“I can block them out,” Tobin grinned.  
   
Christen started to laugh. Tobin was starting to grow bold, no longer letting things bother her the way they used to. The old Tobin would never be caught making out, let alone in the particular position they were currently in. She was less concerned about the people around her and a lot more carefree, a trait Christen was starting to love, but was also a little concerned about. After they got back from Boston, Tobin started to hang out with Lindsey and JJ, and she started to pick up their habits, one being, no longer worrying about what was happening around her, or what people thought of her.  
   
“Well how about you save your energy for the game,” Christen said, letting her hands slide down to Tobin’s hips.  
   
Tobin leaned in and stole another kiss, “I have all the energy in the world babe, I never run out. In fact, I’m pretty sure we could maybe go somewhere for a little while and then play, then go hangout again.”  
   
“Tobin Heath, are you asking me for a quickie?” Christen fake gasped.  
   
“Is that what that’s called?” she laughed, “I guess maybe I am suggesting it.”  
   
Christen lightly slapped her shoulder, “How romantic.”  
   
“I can be romantic,” she looked over to the flowers planted in the park, “I can go get you some flowers right now.”  
   
“I am so lucky,” Christen giggled, “I have such a sweet girlfriend.”  
   
“You really do,” she bragged with a huge smile, “not everyone is as sweet as me.”  
   
Christen leaned forward to kiss her again, “As much fun as that sounds, I think we should cool down, just a little, save it for later.”  
   
“Fine, fine,” Tobin huffed, “But I’m not going to stop kissing you.” Just as she was about to lean in a steal another kiss she felt something hit her in the back, she turned to see a soccer ball rolling away, and Lindsey in the distance laughing. “I have to kick her ass,” Tobin told her girlfriend.  
   
“You have to?” Christen asked in a stern voice.  
   
“Yeah babe, I can’t let her get away with that,” she said casually.  
   
Christen pressed her lips together, “You can’t?”  
   
“Nope,” she answered cheerfully, she kissed her cheek quickly, “I’ll see you on the field.”  
   
Tobin ran down to the field, kicking the ball as she ran, yelling to Lindsey, leaving Christen sitting on the hood of her car watching her girlfriend run off to play soccer for what seemed like the millionth time in the last two weeks. As much as she wanted to feel abandoned, she couldn’t, after all it was Tobin and for the first time since they met, and from Christen’s understanding, the first time in her life, she had friends, and it was hard to be mad when she looked so damn happy.  
   
She jumped down off the car and grabbed her, and Tobin’s, bag and headed down to the field. Before she made it to where the two girls were kicking around she heard someone behind her.  
   
“Shouldn’t Tobin be carrying those?” Hope asked in a cheerful voice.  
   
Christen looked over to her and smiled, “Why? You think Tobin is stronger than me?”  
   
“Definitely not,” Hope laughed, “which is probably why she should be carrying those.”  
   
“Well, she’s too busy playing with Lindsey to pay attention to her girlfriend carrying her heavy bag across the park.” Her responses had a little more attitude on it than she intended.  
   
Hope gave her a knowing look, “Sounds like you need to give Toby a little less of something… or maybe a little more.”  
   
“Less,” she laughed, “Definitely less.”  
   
It didn’t take long for them to get down to the field and changed into their cleats, all the while Tobin never even turned to see if her girlfriend made it down to the field, too caught up in some story Lindsey was telling her. Christen sat with Hope as she taped up her fingers, the games had gotten to the point where they all needed to prep almost like they were in a real game, Christen considered wearing shin guards after a particularly hard tackle from Meghan that left a bruise on her right leg. Hope was going on about the guy from Boston who she was still texting, and thinking about possibly going to see in a few weeks, but Christen was watching Tobin play, even if she was a little upset by her girlfriends complete lack of realization, she still couldn’t take her eyes off her, especially when she played. By the time the rest of the team came in, Lindsey and Tobin finally joined the group, Christen catching the tail end of their conversation.  
   
“So, you have my back?” Lindsey asked with raised eyebrows.  
   
Tobin shrugged, “Of course dude, don’t I always.”  
   
“That’s debatable,” Lindsey laughed.  
   
“You want me there or not?” she tossed the soccer ball at her friend.  
   
Lindsey caught the ball, “Yeah, bruh.”  
   
“Then I’ll be there.”  
   
Tobin went over and planted a kiss on Christen’s cheek, wrapping her arm around her waist and pulling her in close. “Hope we are on the same team babe, then we can dominate.”  
   
Those big brown eyes looking over at her, Christen completely forgot about the bit of the conversation she heard, and got lost in everything that was Tobin, “Yeah, definitely.” She said leaning against Tobin’s side, enjoying letting her weight fall against her.  
 

 

The girls outnumbered the boys, so there was no way to do girls versus boys on the field, so the usually opted for captains, this time choosing Tobin and Lindsey as team captains, stating those two couldn’t be on the field together for more than five seconds before they started to fool around, which was true. Over the last few weeks, they both got use to each other’s style of play, and it made both of them work harder, but it also led to a lot of unnecessary tricks, that usually slowed the game down, or took it to a complete halt with them arguing over if something was legal to do. It was better to put them against each other, that way they would play to beat each other which made the game more intense.  
   
Tobin stood in front of the group with her finger on her chin pretending to think about who she was going to pick, of course it didn’t take long for her to blurt out, “Christen.”  
   
Christen went over and kissed her cheek happily.  
   
“What a shock, none of us saw that one coming,” Sam rolled her eyes.  
   
“She’s the only one I can actually trust to score when I get the ball to her,” Tobin said back.  
   
Alex shouted towards her, “Hey I take offense to that.”  
   
“And that’s why I pick Lex,” Lindsey said happily, “She’s the only one that can keep up with Christen.”  
   
“Wow, I can keep up with Chris,” Clint called over.  
   
“Dude, you can barely keep up with yourself,” Jozy laughed.  
   
Tobin quickly picked Hope, needing a great keeper to go against Alex and her speed, which meant Tim automatically went to Lindsey’s team. Together the three girls on Tobin’s team chose Meghan, Sam, Jozy, Jen, JJ and Chris, leaving the other team with Bobby, Clint, Mallory, Morgan, Becky, and Clint’s brother, Ryan. The game was set with Tobin’s team in black, taking the north side of the field.   
   
“Okay team,” Tobin said squatting down in the middle of the huddle, “Obviously JJ, Jozy and Kling take back line; Jen, Sam and myself will be mid, and Chris and Christen up front. Jen and I will play up and Sam will play further back. Watch for Alex on the left, and Clint up the middle. Listen to Hope, she’s way better than all of us, and you know, kick some freaking ass out there.”  
   
“Good speech Tobs,” Sam chuckled.  
   
“Thanks, it was all improvised if you can believe it.” She moved to the side of the huddle and put her hand in the middle, followed by everyone else’s hands. “Gilmore Girls Season 4, on three.”

“Gilmore Girls Season 4!” Everyone shouted after the count down, the new tradition of them yelling random stuff in a huddle continuing on. 

“Why season 4?” Jen asked. 

“That’s the best season, everyone knows that,” Tobin smiled.

 

The game was on, and everyone was all hopped up on adrenaline. Tobin’s team had the ball first, Christen sending it over to Tobin who got her first chance to show off. She cut through the crowd rolling past Ryan and headed straight for goal. She looked up to see Christen on the right making the run, perfectly as she always did, Tobin was ready to send the ball when out of nowhere Becky came kicking the ball out of bounds. 

“Good save Becks!” Alex called out. 

Tobin looked over to the defender looking cocky, “Lucky save.”

Becky put her hands on her hips, “Bring it on Tobs, I’m going to be on you all day.”

The ball was thrown in, Meghan tossing it far over everyone’s head, landing perfectly next to Christen, who spun around taking the ball up the field. She looked up to see Chris, heading for goal, his hand raised calling for the ball. The striker in Christen wanted to blow past the defenders and send the ball flying into the net herself, but she was a team player, so she sen the ball in a perfect arch, allowing Chris to head it straight for goal, but Tim was there to grab it, tucking the ball safely under him as he fell.

“I see those dirty tricks,” Tim called out as he stood up, “You’re never going to score like that.”

“We’ll see,” Chris laughed, he looked over to Christen, “Good ball Press.”

“Nice header,” Christen responded.

The game started off a little slow, everyone trying to find a good rhythm, some of them still so new it was hard for the original players to get use to them. Soon it picked up and Lindsey and Tobin started to fall into show off mode, each of them pulling out tricks. They refused to stay away from each other, not letting the other get the ball without a challenge. Tobin nutmegged Lindsey a few times, before she learned to go to the right, because Tobin had a hard time making her left handed brain go to the right. Lindsey got a rainbow off on Tobin, Mallory called it ‘sicker than sick’ and it led to the first goal, something Tobin would not let go.

It was an hour into the game when Tobin rainbowed Lindsey back, causing the whole team to cheer when the ball hit the back of the net evening the score. After that Christen took her girlfriend by the collar of her shirt and kissed her, pulling her down with a huge smile. 

“Stop showing off babe,” Christen laughed against her lips.

Tobin gave her another quick kiss, “You like it.”

The game got a little more serious, Tobin trying to obey her girlfriend’s orders and play clean. Hope was pushing the team up and to the right, making it easier on Christen to make runs. Soon she and Tobin were perfectly in sync connecting on every run, it didn’t take long for Christen to find the back of the net. She ran over throwing her arms around Tobin who picked her up and spun around.   
“Look’s who’s showing off now?” Tobin joked as she set the girl back on her own feet. 

Christen kissed her cheek then started to walk away, turning around and giving her a wink, “You like it.”

Tobin’s heart started to race, she did like it, but she wasn’t about to admit it, she needed to focus on the game.

 

The sun was starting to set and the game was tied up 4-4, next goal wins was called out and everyone was set. There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t out of breath, looking across the field at the person in their position on the opposite team as if they were their arch nemesis, for Tobin is was Lindsey who was staring back at her, eyes lowered, glaring. 

This was the last play, and Tobin needed to beat her, there wasn’t a choice. She turned to look at Christen in the center circle trying to convey how much she needed the ball in this moment. Christen could read her girlfriend perfectly, she knew Tobin needed one more time to show off, she had three assist tonight, but she needed a goal to seal the night and brag about how much better she was than her new friend who had one assist to her name, but also a goal. Tobin would not be happy unless she got a goal.

The ball was kicked out and Christen started to take it up field knowing Tobin would be there. They had switched positions in silence, yet the whole team some how knew Tobin was now the striker, and Christen was the midfielder doing her job of getting the ball to the forward player. The team shifted according to the new positions. Tobin was up the field faster than she had ever been cutting to the middle waiting for the ball she knew would be there, and she was right, the ball was perfect. She watched it fall from the sky, trapping it with her chest, letting it fall to her left foot, and with one touch she rocketed into the back of the net, Tim never having a chance to save it. 

Tobin jumped up screaming, then ran down the field to find Christen, scooping her up in her arms and spinning her around. “That was the perfect ball, babe.”

Everyone crowded around them cheering, celebrating their teams win. The huddled up in a circle pulling each other in and yelling. No one knew what the others were saying, but it didn’t matter, it was all about how great they were. They jumped around for a few seconds before breaking the huddle to brag to the other team. 

“Better luck next time Linds.” Tobin said with her hands on her hips like superman. 

Lindsey shook her head, “You got lucky.”

“Yeah lucky I’m better than you.” She teased, then turned to Christen, “You’re amazing, you should be a middy.”

“I learned from the best.” Christen said with a big smile. 

“Uh, yeah me.” Lindsey shouted..

Tobin started to crack up, “Whatever, I so had a better game than you.”

“Yeah for once.” Lindsey laughed. 

She continued to laugh, “You’ll always be jealous of me.”

“Let’s go right now, 1v1.” Lindsey challenged.   
“Let’s go.” Tobin agreed. 

Everyone groaned as the two girls started to kick the ball around again, how they could even move after that game was beyond everyone. The rest of the group went to the sidelines to change out of their sweaty gear and into some fresh clothes, looking back every few minutes to see the two girls still trying to get the ball from each other.

 

   
   
Most of the group had slowly trickled out, leaving just a few sitting around the bags, looking out on the field where Tobin and Lindsey, were now joined by Meghan and JJ, kicking the ball around. Christen was sitting next to Hope who was trying to clean all the residue from the tape on her hands. Morgan was waiting on Meghan with the same exhausted look Christen had, and Becky was waiting on JJ. They were all tired from the game, and getting even more tired from watching the others still moving around like they didn’t just play for almost two hours.  
   
“I don’t get how she is still standing up right,” Hope said pointing to Tobin kicking the ball high in the air.  
   
Christen smiled, “Apparently she never runs out of energy.”  
   
“Meghan is the same way,” Morgan said with a little laugh, “She’s all over the place all the time, it’s a little hard to keep up with.”  
   
“Just do what Christen does,” Hope said with raised eyebrows, “Direct her energy towards something… more useful.”  
   
“Hey now.” She gasped, “How do you know what I do?”  
   
“Trust me, we all see you two, there’s no way that extra energy is going to waste.” Hope said in a sly tone, “Unless you’re going to try and seriously tell us that you’re dating an athlete and not letting her raise your heart rate.”  
   
Christen picked up the soccer ball and tossed it at Hope, “Don’t worry about my heart rate.”  
   
“Oh come on Pressy, we’re just making sure you’re getting taken care of,” Hope laughed.  
   
She lowered her head, a little embarrassed, “I’m just fine thank you.” She looked out on to the field were a mini game had broken out, “Whenever I can get her away from those three.”  
   
“You’re telling me,” Morgan exclaimed, “It’s always, ‘Me, Linds, JJ and Tobs are going here, or doing this, or hanging out.’” she said in her best Meghan voice, “Those four are inseparable lately.”  
   
“Yup,” Christen said popping the ‘p’ at the end. She tried her Tobin impression, “Hey babe, we’re going to kick around for like an hour, or something…” she rolled her eyes, “Four hours later she’s rolling up, all sweaty and out of breath like I wasn’t waiting on her.”  
   
Morgan was cracking up, “Hey, the game got out of hand.” She said still impersonating her girlfriend. “It was Tobin’s fault.”  
   
“Is it always Tobin’s fault?” Christen asked with a laugh, “I heard it’s always Lindsey’s fault.”  
   
“Knowing those two, it’s probably both of them.” Becky chimed in.  
   
“Well I’ll talk to Tobin and make sure she returns Kling in a timely manner next time.” Christen giggled.  
   
“Please, we all know an hour is going to turn into all night and I won’t see her till like ten o’clock at night and she’ll pass out two minutes into whatever movie she insisted we watch.”  
   
“You get two minutes?” Christen gasped, “I get two seconds out of the girl who ‘never runs out of energy’.”  
   
The group of girls started to laugh. Christen was happy to have people to talk to about everything. Before in California she had a lot of friends, but her only true friend was Allie, and even then it was kind of hard talking about her girlfriend since they were also best friends. She never wanted to say anything bad about Kelley to Allie because she never wanted Allie to think less of her. Most of the time she kept all of it to herself, occasionally getting advise from her mom, but here she had a whole group of people understanding exactly what she meant.  
   
Meghan and JJ ran up to the group, “Hey, what are you guys laughing about?” Meghan asked looking over to her girlfriend with huge eyes.  
   
“Nothing,” Morgan said as she stood up, placing a kiss on the shorter girl’s cheek, “You finally ready to go?”  
   
“Yeah,” she said in her usual happy tone. She looked over to Christen, “Tobs is trying to show Linds a new trick, so… they might be a little while longer.”  
   
Christen huffed and laid back on the grass, “Of course.”  
   
Morgan and Meghan said their goodbyes and took off, with JJ and Becky walking with them to the parking lot, leaving Christen and Hope waiting on the two girls out on the field. Hope looked down at her friend laying in the grass with her hands behind her head, her eyes closed and her eyebrows lowered, something was bothering her.  
   
“What’s up Pressy?” Hope leaned back on her hands.  
   
Her face involuntarily scrounged up at the question, “Nothing,” She breathed out.  
   
“Come on, I see that vein starting to pop in your neck,” she laughed reaching over and poking Christen in the side, “Something’s up.”  
   
Christen set her teeth, there was no denying she was upset, and there was no way she was going to get out of talking about it. She took a deep breath and turned her head to look up at Hope. “I told you about my ex, Kelley, in California?”  
   
Hope nodded remembering back to a few conversations they had, “The hot surfer girl, yeah I remember.”  
   
“Well on top of being a hot surfer, she was also this complete wild, crazy and carefree spirit.” She sat up sitting cross legged, “She was so amazing, she loved to surf and hike and camp and do all these crazy things, and that’s what really drew me to her in the first place. We were friends, like best friends, and I was always so attracted to the fact that she would just go out and do whatever she wanted not caring about anything but exactly what was on her mind at the time. I’m such a planner, I like to have things in order, and someone so… spontaneous, was just so attractive to me.” She looked down taking a deep breath, “Until we started to date.”  
   
“Oh man, then the spontaneity got a little too much,” Hope suggested.  
   
“Oh yeah,” she said with a forced smile. “She would go off surfing for hours never telling me, and I would text her and she wouldn’t text back. She would go camping or hiking and have no cell signal, and I would have no idea where she was, or if she was okay. For spring break one year, she took off camping in the mountains, just decided a few hours before that she wanted to camp for the week; grabbed her dog packed up her jeep and took off for the whole week, without saying a word.”  
   
“Hell no,” Hope exclaimed, “that would not fly with me.”  
   
“Trying to tell Kelley what to do, or how to do something was like talking to a brick wall.” She shook her head, remembering how many conversations she had with her ex-girlfriend. “I would have to reminder constantly to text me before she left places, or to try and plan things out before she took off for days, and she would be okay for a week or two then it would go back to the same thing. She hung out with everyone, anyone who surfed or played soccer, she was their friend, and that meant she was always off hanging out. Every single party we went to she would show up stand with me for like five seconds then someone would call her over to play a game or something and I wouldn’t see her for the rest of the night. Or she would tell me she was coming over and I wouldn’t see her for like two hours if I was lucky, sometimes I wouldn’t see her at all. It was always some excuse: the waves were perfect, or a game got started, or something trivial.”  
   
Hope lowered her eyebrows, “How in the world did you put up with that?”  
   
“I loved her,” Christen answered simply. “Despite all the headache she caused, all the stress, I loved her. When Kelley was there, when she was present, she was amazing. We would spend hours together just talking, on the beach or just sitting in the park looking out at the stars. She would take me out on her longboard and we would sit in the middle of the ocean watching the sunset, talking about the future and the past and everything. She was smart and funny, and so sweet she melted my heart constantly. Our first anniversary she came and picked me up randomly, I didn’t think she planned anything, and in reality she didn’t, it was all spur of the moment, but we got in her jeep and drove to Long Beach. We had dinner at some random taco truck and had way too much sugar from a snow cone cart. Then we went out into the ocean, and she paddle out so far that we couldn’t see the shore, which was kind of scary, but I wasn’t worried with her. Then we watched the sun set, and in the moonlight, she took out a bracelet she had in her board shorts, it was silver with charms hanging off it, a surfboard to represent her and a north star to represent me, because she always said I was her true north, and she told me she loved me for the first time.”  
   
Hope smiled, “Well that’s stupid fucking sweet.”  
   
“I know right, how in the world can I ever be mad at someone who does that?” she chuckled, “But still, she did make me mad, she would piss me off and I was always too afraid to really say anything. I didn’t want to lose her, I hated the way she did a lot of things, but I loved the way she did everything else. I wanted to be with her because she was impulsive and lighthearted, how could I be upset with her for those things? But I was, and when I found Tobin I felt so much more… at ease.”  
   
“Because she wasn’t crazy and running off random places and never telling you?” Hope joked.  
   
“Yeah, I wasn’t sitting around waiting to get some attention from my girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes, “Ever since Boston, she has been so different. She hangs out with Lindsey and JJ and I’m so happy she has more friends, I knew she would be different once Kling finally started to date Morgan, but I thought I would see more of her, not less. I don’t know, I feel so selfish, she has friends, like real ones that she can relate to and all I want is for her to spend her time with me. I mean, I see her at work, but it’s not the same thing, it’s not the same as sitting together and talking.”  
   
“That’s not selfish,” Hope reassured her. “She’s your girlfriend she should be spending time with you. Don’t get me wrong, having separate lives means you won’t drive each other insane, but you should be spending some real time with her.”  
   
“I just feel so crazy, because it’s Tobin.” She looked out on the field watching her girlfriend laugh, her long hair falling out of the messy bun she had. Tobin looked happy, her smile was big and bright and she was laughing so much it made Christen’s heart swim, “How can I ever be mad at that?”  
   
“I get it, she’s a damn dream boat,” Hope laughed, “But you have to talk to her about this stuff, or it’ll never get better.”  
   
She nodded, “Yeah I know.”  
   
“And I’ll talk to Lindsey,” Hope said simply.  
   
“No, I don’t want to make this a big deal,” Christen protested.  
   
“Chris, if I don’t say something to her then it will turn into a big deal.” She turned to face her friend, “You know, I have known Lindsey practically her entire life?”  
   
“Really, I didn’t know you two went back that far.”  
   
“Yeah, we have been in youth leagues together since she was five and I was seven. Lindsey has always been the youngest player in the leagues, her skill level has always been higher than everyone her age so she was always moved up, and being the youngest is not the easiest thing. It was really hard for her to make friends.” She paused for a second before saying the next thing, it was something not everyone knew. “When her parents got divorced it was really hard on her. They argued constantly, and the custody battle was exactly that, a bloody battle. It got so bad they had to send her to her grandparents’ house. At the end of it all, it was decided she would live with her grandparents, and visit her mom during the summer, and her dad during the winter, so she never really got to settle anywhere. Tobin is the first person that she has ever truly bonded with. I think the fact that Tobin never really had a bunch a friends, and they are both midfielders and focused on soccer makes it easier for her to really get to know her and kind of latch onto her. Not to mention the whole Sam and Alex thing in Boston did not help her, Sam was the one person she was really interested in, her hooking up with Alex hurt, a lot. Lindsey is focusing a lot on Tobin, because she just really needs someone who gets her, and Tobin gets her.”  
   
“Now I feel even more like a jerk.” Christen huffed, hiding her face in her hands. “I don’t want to take those two sad puppies away from each other.”  
   
“Don’t worry about it,” Hope laughed, “It’ll be okay, I’ll just tell Lindsey to back off a little bit and let Tobin have some time with you. She’ll understand. It’s just, if you try and take Tobin from her without her knowing why she might worry that maybe Tobin doesn’t want to hangout with her, and I don’t want her to worry. But telling her that you two need time together she will understand completely, and she’ll stop keeping her out all night.”  
   
Christen looked up at her with optimistic eyes, “As long as it’s okay. I don’t want Tobin to not hangout and have friends, especially since I know they get along so well, and Meghan is kind of only half there most of the time now. I just want a little bit more time with my girlfriend.”  
   
“Trust me Chris, it’ll be okay.” She reached over and put her hand on her back, “You take care of Tweedle Dee and I’ll take care of Tweedle Dumb.” She said looking over to the two girls who practically had each other in head locks as they fought over the ball. 

“Maybe we should separate them now,” Christen laughed. 

 

Just as they were finishing their conversation the two girls were coming off the field, still laughing and pushing each other as they walked. Christen watched Tobin laughing over Lindsey pushing her so hard she lost her balance for a second. The two of them got along so well, their joking personalities blended well, and Lindsey really brought out the talkative side of Tobin, which was a great thing. Tobin was a lot more open, less shy around the group, and all together more outgoing ever since Lindsey showed up in her life, and Christen loved that, she just needed to spend some time with her girlfriend, actually get to see her and hangout with this new version of her.  
   
“Hey babe,” Tobin said, her big smile and bright eyes completely melting any worry Christen had. “You ready to go?”  
   
Christen looked up at the wonderful girl she called hers, “Yeah, I’m ready.”  
   
“Cool, I’m starving.” Tobin stuck her hand up and pulled Christen to her feet, “Let’s get WaWa.”  
   
   
   
\--  
   
   
They sat outside on a picnic table, Tobin scarfing down a large sandwich, two cookies and now slurping the last of her milkshake. Christen was sitting facing forward, and Tobin was straddling the bench, scooted as close as she could get to her girlfriend so she could kiss her cheek whenever she felt like it.  
   
“So my mom and I went shopping yesterday,” Christen said as she finished her food, “We went to Bed Bath and Beyond and got some stuff for my dorm room.”  
   
“Oh yeah?” Tobin said looking down at her phone, “Like what kind of stuff?”  
   
“Curtains, and sheets, and two new pillows. She wants to get more stuff in a few days. She wants to buy things slowly that way we aren’t spending a whole chunk of money all at once.” She turned to see Tobin looking at her phone.  
   
Tobin was silently laughing about something on her phone, not really paying attention to what Christen was saying to her. Christen sat looking at her in silence for a few minutes before Tobin finally felt the pair of eyes on her.  
   
“What’s up?” Tobin asked, confused as to why she was being stared at.  
   
Christen lowered her eyebrows, “Are you going to be on your phone all night, or am I going to get your attention at some point in time?”  
   
Tobin’s eyes got big, she was shocked, “Uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”  
   
“You’ve been really preoccupied lately,” She softened her tone, not wanting to upset her girlfriend who looked like a deer caught in headlights, “I would just appreciate if when you’re with me, if you could be present.”  
   
Thinking back on it, Tobin realized she had been on her phone almost the whole time they were sitting outside. “Yeah, you’re right.” She said with a quick smile. She set her phone face down, then wrapped her arms around Christen’s waist, “So tell me about these sheets, are they soft, I like soft sheets.”  
   
Christen started to giggle as she felt her girlfriend bury her face in her neck, “Who says you get to sleep on my sheets?”  
   
“Who said anything about sleeping?” she said placing short kisses on her neck.

“Keep your mind out of the gutter Tobin Heath,” Christen laughed.

“Wow,” Tobin gasped turning her head to face Christen, “I was talking about making a fort, what were you talking about?”

“Oh sure,” she hooked her finger in the collar of Tobin’s shirt and pulled her in close enough for her lips to ghost over her girlfriends, “That’s exactly what you were talking about.”

 

—

 

They had finished eating and sat around in the warm summer night talking about college and how excited they were to be only a few weeks away from actually being in school. As much as they were both nervous about leaving home, having each other made the whole thing so much easier. In Christen’s mind, this new outgoing version of Tobin was going to make it so much better, as long as she could keep the energetic girl focused on her. 

It was around eleven when they made the choice to leave the convenient store and drive out to the abandon factory that they ended up at many nights now. They liked the spot because it was completely secluded, and dark besides one single street lamb that, when parked in the right spot, lit up the car just enough for them to make out each other, but not enough for someone to possibly see in the car, not that it mattered because no one ever wandered over there, not this late at night.

 

The back seat of Christen's car was small but they always seemed to make it work. They folded up a sweat shirt and placed it next to the door so Christen could lay her head down on it, Tobin was laying on top, between her legs, pushing down on her hips. They were no longer shy about kissing, both their tongues moving expertly against each other, knowing exactly what to do. Christen's shirt was pushed up far enough for Tobin to cup her breast through her thin sports bra, easily finding her hard nipples and running her thumb over them, a move she found always made her girlfriend push her hips harder against her. Tobin may have been new at this whole thing but she knew Christen well now, and she knew when her hips were grinding against her like that she wanted more.

Christen's hands were roaming all over Tobin’s body, finding places to pull her in as close as possible. Tobin's shirt had been stripped away long ago, her use to be shy girlfriend was now the one to rip it off. Christen was figuring out that Tobin preferred to be as naked as the situation allowed, something Christen was not arguing with, after all she wanted to touch as much of that tan skin as she possibly could. Tobin's body was perfect, her muscles were toned and her skin was soft and every inch of her felt like it was made to fit perfectly with Christen's. She always fell perfectly between her legs, her thin frame allowed Christen to have one leg wrapped around her keeping them as close as possible, not that Tobin would ever allow them to be apart, she had her arm underneath Christens hip pulling her up forcing her center to grind against Tobin’s hips.

"Fuck," Christen gasped out as she felt herself being pulled up for the second time. She latched herself to Tobin's neck for just a few seconds before moving her mouth against her ear, "Come on babe, I need you to touch me."

Tobin felt a shiver run down her body hitting her right in the core. She could feel herself heating up, every inch of her begging for Christen's hands. She wrapped her arm a little tighter around her waist pulling her closer, making Christen's now completely soaked through panties to rub against her once again. Tobin knew exactly what she wanted, she knew exactly what her girlfriend was begging for. They had been in this position several times now, and she learned pretty quickly that Christen wanted her hand between her legs, she had the timing almost down to a science, reading Christen's wanting body becoming a task she felt compelled to master. She knew where to put her hand, when to put more pressure, when to let her want more and when to give it to her, but tonight was different.

For the last two weeks Tobin's mind had expanded far beyond what she had thought. She had learned a new skill and like all new skills she spent all day thinking about it and wanting to know more. She was afraid at first to look anything up, and she had no one she could ask, well no one except her new friend who claimed to have all the skills... Skills in looking things up incognito. Lindsey taught Tobin how to hide her search history so she could do all the research she needed, and with that a new idea popped in her mind and for a week she had been wanting to talk about it but her nerves always seemed to get the best of her, but not tonight, not in this moment.

"I want to try something," she whispered the secret in Christen's ear.

Christen was busy kissing Tobin’s shoulder when she heard the unsure voice. She kissed by her ear, the way she did when she knew her, now officially shy again, girlfriend needed a little encouragement, "What's that baby" 

Tobin tried to find the words, what words do you use to sound sexy and not... Vulgar. Her mind was blank.

Sensing her hesitation, Christen kissed her ear again whispering, "Talk to me," right before taking her earlobe into her mouth and biting softly.

Tobin gasped at the feeling letting the tingling run the length of her body. She took a breath before deciding to just say what she wanted, after all they agreed to always be open and honest and never be afraid to talk about what they wanted, tonight Tobin was taking that to heart.

Her voice was lower than a whisper, "I want to..." She paused for a second, almost like the next phrase deserved it's own breath of air, "use my tongue."

The words hit Christen all over, making her hips buck up again. She had thought about it more than once before, but never wanted to rush her sweet innocent Tobin. Everything they did was agreed upon before it happened. Christen was comfortable, she had experience on her side, everything they did was for her, Tobin was still hesitant about receiving, but she was more than willing to give, but this was more intimate in a way, something she wanted Tobin to find on her own, but she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't anxiously awaiting it.

She pulled Tobin in for a kiss, pushing against her lips making sure Tobin knew exactly how much she wanted this too. "Are you sure?" 

Tobin looked down at her, those green eyes sparkling in the dim lighting, she nodded, "I just don't.... I don't know..."

Christen leaned up and kissed her again, "I'll talk to you."

That's all Tobin needed to hear. She was new to every experience they were having and Christen's soft voice was there to guide her through it all. Tobin liked hearing her whisper things in her ear, telling her what to do, reassuring her that she was doing a good job. She especially liked when her words became jagged and breathy and no longer words but just sounds and the occasional curse, that's when Tobin really knew she was doing good.

She was ready for this, she had been thinking about it for days and she was ready. Kissing down Christen’s neck, and down her shoulders she stopped at the grey sports bra pushing it up enough to kiss her breast, running her tongue across her nipple a move that always got a quick gasp from Christen. She moved slowly down her stomach making sure to kiss an almost perfect line down until she broke off and kissed her hip bones. She looked up at her girl staring down lovingly and wantonly at her, it was enough to give her to courage to hook her fingers in her panties and start to pull them down. She had done that before, it was one of the greatest things in the world, but tonight it was different. Normally she was pushing them down and waiting for Christen to kick them off, tonight she was pulling them down her toned legs seeing from a different angle just how beautiful her body was.

All the research said to go slow, so Tobin went slow, kissing down the inside of her thighs, letting Christen reposition herself so they both had more room. She settled between her legs, a little cramped in the back seat, but as comfortable as she could get. She looked up at Christen her eyes asking if this was okay, if she was okay, if this was really happening. With a soft smile and a lick of her lips, Christen nodded and Tobin had permission.

Tobin settled herself, let her mind focus on what she was about to do. The first stroke was long with a flat wide tongue, causing Christen to reach down and put her hand through Tobin's hair. She did it again one long stroke, her mind officially opening to this new sensation. This was like nothing she had ever experienced before, nothing she could ever imagine. It was weird against her tongue but in the best way possible, like she needed to find the best way to move it, the perfect spot to place it to get this just right. The taste was sweeter than she imagined, salty but with an undertone that she couldn't think of in the moment, all she knew was she wanted more. She ran her tongue up again, and again settling into a rhythm feeling Christens hips rock with her.

Christen was pushing herself up against Tobin's tongue trying to find more. She had settled one hand against the back of the seat and the other in Tobin's hair ready to guide her if she needed it. She thought she was going to fall apart quickly, but she was enjoying Tobin finding her way, after all this didn't always have to be a sprint, this could be a marathon and the way Tobin was working she was going to enjoy every second of it. She let her head fall back and her mind focus only on what was happening, the feel of her tongue, her arms wrapped around her legs, the weight of her hands pressing just below her stomach. Just as her mind was wrapping around how good it felt,Tobin shifted a bit pushing one of her shoulders up which made Christen's right leg go just a little higher then the left and suddenly it was a whole different situation.

"Oh fuck," she cried out, then there was a sudden loss of contact when Tobin looked up at her. She looked down quickly, "Keep going babe."

Tobin dived back in, continue with whatever she just did to get that reaction. She felt Christen's hand tighten in her hair, and she knew she was doing good. She continued to work, keeping with the same motion, after all she read consistent motions were the best way, but she heard Christen speak, telling her what she wanted.

"Circles, Toby, do circles with your tongue," she said making a lazy circle motion with her hand.

Tobin did was she was told, making large circles with her tongue, she felt Christen pull her up just a little setting her just slightly higher, and heard her curse and a second hand coming down on her head. She kept going, getting low encouraging words from her girlfriend, though the gasps and low moans was all she needed. She didn't want to move to interrupt what she was doing because it was obviously working but her neck cramped up and unconsciously she turned her head slightly to the left, which caused Christen to push up against her even more.

"Shit... Right there... Don't stop." She called out.

Tobin felt her push down on her head, her hips now grinding against her mouth. Christen tried to move with her, keeping this feeling going. She was so hot she reached up and took her shirt off, then put one hand back in Tobin’s hair keeping her steady, and one hand on her own breast massaging it. Tobin looked up and watched as Christen pushed her sports bra up giving her hand full access, this made her want to work faster, wanting to feel her girlfriend’s release, wanting to push her over that edge. It didn't take long, Christen felt Tobin increase her speed, she heard her moan into her and suddenly she was falling over that edge, shaking underneath her.

Tobin felt it, it was different than any other time, it was amazing. Christen's whole body had tighten and then suddenly she was trembling pushing her self up against Tobin's mouth. She waited for her girl to settle as she always did, only this time she was given directions.

"Just go slow, long... All the way up." She said incoherently.

Even though it wasn't really a sentence Tobin understood. She did long strokes with her tongue each one causing Christen to tremble underneath her. Tobin thought she was coaxing her down off her high, as she's done many times but this was different, with each pass the girl beneath her seemed to tremble a little more before she had her hands on the back of her head and her legs were shaking once again, not as much as last time but enough for Tobin to realize this was the second orgasm, something she had never achieved before.

Christen finally let her legs relax, "Come here." She demanded pulling her girlfriend up and into a searing kiss.

“How was that?” Tobin asked innocently.

Christen let out an airy laugh, “Do I really need to answer that?”

“No,” she answered with a little laugh, “I think I get the picture.”

They kissed for a few more minutes, letting Christen come down before she flipped them over so she could lay her head on Tobin’s chest and listen to her breathe. 

“I can’t wait until we are at school.” Christen wrapped her arms around her girlfriends midsection, settling her head on her chest, letting Tobin’s soft breathing lull her, “Then we will have dorm rooms, and we can just lay down and sleep.”

“That is going to be awesome,” Tobin smiled. She squeezed tighter to the girl laying on her, kissing the top of her head, “Hopefully, those sheets you bought are soft, or we might have to be in my room the whole time.” She laughed lightly, looking down to see if Christen enjoyed her joke, but the girl had fallen asleep on her chest, her mouth just slightly open breathing softly. 

Tobin grabbed her phone from the seat pocket, and set her alarm for an hour. They couldn’t stay there all night, but they could stay there for a little while, letting Christen rest before they drove home. Besides there was no way for her to wake Christen when she fell asleep, she was too beautiful, all cozied up to her, her eyes fluttering just slightly as her mind finally settled. Tobin set her phone on the top of the back seat, and closed her eyes, resting just a bit with her girlfriend. 

 

—

 

The alarm had gone off waking them both from there sleep. Christen cried for Tobin to shut it off and let her sleep a little longer, but it was almost two o’clock in the morning and they both had to get up for work. Lazily they put on their clothes, stealing kisses from each other. Finally they got in the front seat and drove to Christen’s house where Tobin had left her car.

 

They stood outside, Tobin leaning against her car, Christen leaning against her. The good night was always the worst part of their Tuesday, well Wednesday now. They always spent at least ten minutes just kissing, soft and slow trying to work up the courage to break apart for the few hours they had to spend separate. It was Christen who finally spoke up.

“So are you doing anything on Friday?” She asked. 

Tobin thought for a second, “No I don’t think so.”

“Good,” she paused for a second nervous about her next question, “Do you maybe want to have dinner at my house? My parents want to meet you.”

“Okay,” Tobin said simply, “What time?”

Christen let out a small laugh, “That was a lot easier than I thought. I figured you would be freaked out.”

“Why,” she shrugged, “parents love me.” She gave a big smile. 

“So cocky.” Christen giggled, leaning in to kiss her, “Well, dinner is at seven.”

“Sounds good to me.” She started to lean in to kiss her again, when her brain fired off, “Shit, Friday?”

Christen pulled back, “Yeah, this Friday?”

“Uh…” she thought for a second, “I was supposed to go to this barbecue party thing with Lindsey at this girls place, but that starts at like three, I can make it here by seven.”

“What barbecue party thing?” She asked curiously. 

Tobin laughed to herself, “There’s this girl that Lindsey is kind of chasing, and she is going to this like weird barbecue party thing at her friends house, the girl’s friend’s house, not Lindsey’s friend. Anyway, she is suppose to be bringing a friend, so Lindsey wants me to go so I can be her wingman again. But it’ll be okay, I’ll make it to dinner on time, I guess if she can’t like ‘seal the deal’ by six-thirty, then she’ll be on her own.”

Christen took a step back breaking contact with her girlfriend, “Wait, you’re going to some random girls house for some random party so you can flirt with some other random girl?”

“I’m not going to flirt,” Tobin answered casually, “I’m just going to be a wingman, like in Boston.”

“You were flirting in Boston!” Christen snapped, becoming increasingly more angry with the fact that Tobin was so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“I wasn’t flirting in Boston,” Tobin said back, confused as to why she was being chastised, “What’s wrong?”

Christen crossed her arms, “Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong right now?”

Tobin lowered her head instantly retreating into herself, “Well… yeah.”

“Tobin, you are going to a party, without me, to flirt with some girl!” Christen yelled, this was the first time she had ever yelled at Tobin and she was on a role, “On top of that, you are going to “try” and make it in time for dinner with my parents.”

“I _will_ make it, I wouldn’t be late.” Tobin answered, missing the point entirely. 

Christen threw her hands in the air, “Are you serious right now? You think this is okay? You really think it’s okay for you to go to some random girls house to flirt.”

“I’m not going to flirt.” She said in a small voice.

“That’s what being a wingman is Tobin.” She shouted louder than before, “But that’s not the point, you’re going to hangout at a party, without me, even though I need you at dinner.”

“I didn’t know there was a dinner until now,” Tobin answered quickly, “How was I supposed to know?”

“That is not the point,” she shook her head. 

Tobin tossed her hands up, “Then what _is_ the point?”

“I’m your girlfriend, and you have been spending every free second you have with Lindsey and JJ and everyone else, and now I need you to be at dinner with me to meet my parents, and you are thinking more about a party then what I need. Every time I’m with you, you are staring down at your phone texting. When we hang out you are so focused on everyone else, it’s like I don’t mean anything to you.”

“I spend a bunch of time with you,” Tobin exclaimed, “We just spent time together.”

Christen could feel herself starting to to get teary eyed, no matter how hard she tried she always ended up crying when she was pissed off, “So that’s what I am to you? Just some girl you fuck in the back seat of a car? That’s all we do now?”

Tobin heard the tone in her voice, she realized what she had just said and how it sounded to the girl standing in front of her trying not to cry. It only took a second for Tobin to realize that she was wrong, she had messed this up and now she needed to fix it.

“I’m sorry,” She said quietly. “That’s not what I meant. That’s not all you mean to me Chris.” She took a step forward, “You mean so much to me.”

Christen stepped back further, increasing the gap between them, “Just go Tobin.”

“Wait,” she answered softly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I messed up.”

Christen could hear the sincerity in her voice, but she wasn’t ready to let this go. She lowered her head, “Please go.”

Tobin reached out to try and touch her hand, she needed to feel her, to tell her how sorry she was, but Christen pulled away before her fingers could brush against her skin. She took a step back, reading her girlfriends cues. “Okay, I’ll go.”

She walked to the driver side of her car, looking up for just a moment to see Christen trying to hold it together, “I’m sorry Chris.” She whispered hoping she heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. I have written an outline (finally) and it looks like we have about five chapters left, and maybe a bonus chapter that I have in my head. Who knows, I'm a damn mystery, we might have a bunch more, but the main story line only had five chapters left for sure.
> 
> As always, comment, let me know what you think. Let me know if you like New Tobin.


	26. The OG (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes to dinner with Tobin's brother and sisters. We finally learn about Alex's past and why she never talks about sophomore year. *Trigger Warning*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up! This is the Talex portion, if you were looking for Preath, go back a chapter. 
> 
> I edited this last night when I was wee tipsy so it might still have some typos... Look Out!

Alex’s bed was way more comfortable than a bed should be. It was big and fluffy and had pillows that felt like clouds and Tobin loved every second of laying in it, though the quality of the bed was overshadowed by the girl laying on her chest breathing steadily. This position was quickly becoming the best position in the whole world, laying in the dark room with Alex’s arms wrapped around her middle, holding her close. Tuesday night’s Tobin rushed over to Alex’s house and laid down in her bed, with the lights off and the television playing some movie that Alex always talked through, which Tobin never cared about because she was comfortable, so much so she always drifted off within the first few minutes. Tonight was different than the last two weeks they spent together, Alex was nervous and talking more than usual while lazily drawing circles on Tobin’s stomach with her finger. Normally Alex pushed her warm hand just under Tobin’s shirt laying it against her skin which always led to Tobin getting a chill, but then settle into a comfortable laziness that made her want to drift off, but tonight she could feel the nervous energy coming off her girlfriend and so she stayed awake enough to talk to Alex whenever she was ready to admit what had her so anxious.  
   
“Do you think your brother and sisters will like me?” Alex asked still facing the television.  
   
Tobin took a deep breath, so this is what was bothering her this whole time, “Katie and Perry will love you, Jeff will be indifferent, he’s always indifferent.”  
   
“I don’t want him to be indifferent,” Alex popped her head up to look at Tobin whose eyes were starting to close, “I want him to like me.”  
   
“Well, we don’t have much of a choice when it comes to Jeff,” Tobin smiled sleepily, “That’s just who he is.” She heard Alex let out a frustrated breath, “Focus on Perry and Katie, they’re the ones that need to be impressed.”  
   
She laid her head back down pressing her ear down to hear the steady heartbeat, “I just…” she paused laying her hand flat on Tobin’s stomach, “I want them to like me.”  
   
“They will,” Tobin smiled, “They’ll love you, don’t worry so much.”  
   
She snuggled closer into Tobin’s warm body, “Okay.” She responded, then started back with drawing circles around Tobin’s blocky ab muscles with her finger.  
   
They had been home from Boston for two weeks, and every day they seemed to be growing closer. Tuesdays and Thursdays after work and soccer Tobin went over to Alex’s house for the night. Alex’s dad loved Tobin, allowing her to stay as long as she wanted, and her mom never really commented on it, well not anymore. The first night Alex asked Tobin to stay her mom threw a fit, which made Alex throw an equally as large fit. The whole thing ended in Alex leaving the house for three days staying with Morgan. After she finally returned home Tobin was informed that she was allowed over whenever, and stayed the night on the two nights she played soccer in the park. 

Tobin and Meghan had a great agreement, they would tell their parents they were at each other’s houses, or they were both staying with a friend from the park and no one really questioned it. Even though she was technically an adult now and didn’t really need her parents permission to stay over anyones house, she liked to let them know, and for some reason telling them she was staying with Alex just felt, off, so she made up a story, not really a lie, because she was staying with someone from the park, even though Alex had only been there once, and she never actually played soccer, still she was at the park before. Okay so maybe it was a lie, one of the only ones she had ever told her parents, but she wanted to stay with Alex, she wanted to sleep next to her as much as possible before they were separated and she wouldn’t get to feel the warmth of her skin for months, so she told a lie, but it would all be okay in the end. 

Besides, she would normally be staying over at Meghan’s house, but she was seeing a lot less of her best friend these days. Meghan spent most of her free time with Morgan, and that was okay because she now officially had the same mindset that Tobin had, needing to spend as much time with her girlfriend as she could before college. The only thing Meghan had was the love and affection of Morgan’s family who loved her the moment they met her. Meghan even let her family meet Morgan, as a friend of course, but they loved the southern girl, and Tobin couldn’t help but be extremely jealous of Morgan getting to spend time at the Klingenberg house, because she wished she had that with Alex, but her anxiety was still too much. She was excited for Alex to meet her older sisters and her little brother, but Alex coming anywhere within a fifty foot radius of her parents made her want to pass out. So Alex stayed clear of the Heath house if there was a chance her parents were home, and that was okay for now because she was with Alex, laying in her bed her mind trying to find rest.  
   
Like most nights after a long game in the park Tobin was sleepy, and her body was sinking into the mattress ready to rest, but tomorrow was a big day, and Alex was making it hard to sleep. Ever since Tobin made the plans Alex had been asking a million questions, Tobin had never seen her so nervous. She had met Perry briefly so Tobin didn’t understand why she worried about that, but Katie was home for two weeks and Alex was anxious, even though Tobin explained a million times the oldest of the kids was the most laid back of the group. Still, her girlfriend wanted to know as much as possible about the three siblings coming to dinner, and that meant Tobin was probably not going to get much sleep tonight.  
   
“What do you think I should wear?” Alex asked tapping her hand on Tobin’s stomach.  
   
Tobin huffed, her eyes still closed, “I don’t know, we’re going to Olive Garden.”  
   
“What does that mean?” she laughed.  
   
“It means I am more focused on the bread sticks than the clothes,” Tobin smiled when she felt Alex lift her head to look at her, undoubtedly with her eyebrows knitted together in frustration, “I’m not sure babe, I’ve seen people in everything from sweatpants to nice slacks, so it’s not really something you can judge.”  
   
Alex laid on her back next to Tobin, “You’re no help.”  
   
“Just wear sweats,” Tobin chuckled.  
   
“I am not wearing sweats to meet your family,” Alex laughed slapping her hand down on Tobin’s stomach. She sat up using her hand to prop her up, she looked down at her girlfriend who was trying her hardest to keep her eyes closed. “I think I’ll wear a dress, but nothing too fancy, and you wear a button up, a nice one.”  
   
“Okay babe,” Tobin smiled, her eyes still closed, “a button up and sweats.”  
   
“You better not,” Alex laughed climbing on top of the silly girl, “Nice jeans, and no holes.”  
   
Tobin finally opened her eyes to see Alex looking down at her. She lifted her hands to grab her waist holding loosely. Alex had sat like this plenty of times before, straddling Tobin’s hips, her hands pressing down on Tobin’s stomach, but no matter how many times she did it Tobin still felt all her nerves stand on end.    
   
“You’re so demanding,” She said with a huge smile.  
   
Sitting back on her girlfriends legs, Alex pushed her hands under Tobin’s shirt her fingers pressing against her abs, “I’m allowed to be demanding, I’m your girlfriend.”  
   
“Well, I’m _your_ girlfriend,” She sat up a little, “Does that mean I get to be demanding?”  
   
“Nope, that’s not how it works,” She pressed her fingertips harder into Tobin’s tight stomach muscles, “Only one of us gets to be demanding and I already called it.”  
   
“Is that the rule?” she laughed sitting up further to put her arms around Alex’s waist, “You’re lucky I let you be the demanding one.”  
   
“It’s so cute you think you let me be anything.” She giggled.  
   
Tobin tightened her grip on her and flipped them over so she was on top of Alex, “Is that right?”  
   
Alex gazed up at her girlfriend, her eyes dark, her shirt hiked up a little showing off her stomach, the shadows from the room falling on her making her tan skin look so damn kissable. There was no stopping it, she leaned up, putting a hand on the back of Tobin’s neck pulling her in to capture her lips. They kissed hungrily, the way they had been for the last two weeks. Tobin slipped one hand under Alex’s shirt starting to massage her breast over her bra, her hands starting to become skilled at the motion. Alex tangled her hands in Tobin’s hair trying to bring her as close as possible as their tongues explored each other’s mouths. It was Tobin who moved her mouth from Alex’s so she could kiss across her jaw, and down her neck, making a low moan escape Alex’s mouth.  
   
Alex’s head was spinning, she could feel Tobin pressing down against her, one of her hands starting to travel down her body. They had been here before, Tobin kissing down her neck, and just like before Alex tried to let her mind let go and let it happen, but something was still pulling at her. She reached down and grabbed Tobin’s wandering hand.  
   
“Not yet, baby.” She whispered in Tobin’s ear.  
   
Tobin’s hand went limp, her breathing heavy against Alex’s neck, taking in the scent she loved so much. Her body was on fire, a feeling building in the pit of her stomach, her mind going crazy, her body going insane, and again she was stopped before reaching her destination. She kissed Alex’s neck again, gently this time, knowing whatever she was trying to do was over.  
   
“I know,” she whispered back.  
   
She honestly didn’t know, she didn’t understand why Alex was stopping her. They had slept in the same bed several times, been so far into a make-out session that Alex’s shirt was off and Tobin’s jeans were unbuttoned pushed halfway down, yet Alex always put an end to it. The third time she was stopped, she asked why and Alex just said she wanted to wait a little longer. Summer was almost over and soon they would be a whole country apart, and Tobin didn’t want to wait, but she never wanted to push Alex to do anything she wasn’t ready for. So she leaned up and kissed her again, slow, gently, letting Alex know she was okay with stopping despite her body screaming for just a little more.  
   
Tobin rolled off Alex laying back on the bed, her head back in the pillows, before she could say anything Alex was rolling on top of her, pushing her hair behind her ears. Alex leaned down and kissed her girlfriend, she could feel her frustration. Tobin was ready, the once nervous girl was now ready to go all the way, Alex could feel it when they kissed, she could hear it in her voice when they talked about it, but her sweet loving Tobin would never push, she would never even think about thinking about pushing. Alex looked down at her, those big brown eyes gazing up at her, she was ready to be with Tobin, she just needed a little while longer, she needed to talk to Tobin, but not right now, not yet.  
   
The worry in Alex’s face was obvious, she was thinking about everything and Tobin didn’t want her to feel sad about stopping them. She pulled Alex down to kiss her once again to let her know everything was okay.  
   
“What are you thinking?” Alex asked still a little worried about stopping them.  
   
Tobin smiled up at her, “I'm thinking it might be all you can eat pasta season at The OG, and if that’s the case, I am going to eat **a lot**.”  
   
Alex started to laugh, laying her head down on Tobin’s chest, “You’re so silly.”  
   
They got back into their original position, Alex’s head on Tobin’s chest, listening to her slow heartbeat. Tobin’s arms were wrapped around Alex, pulling her in close. They turned to watch the movie that they had missed the last fifteen minutes of, and Tobin started to name off all the pastas she was going to eat, before finally drifting to sleep.  
   
   
   
\--  
   
   
   
Tobin and Meghan stood outside the shop looking into the big window, Tobin drinking the last of her iced coffee, her face scrounged up in worry. Meghan looked over to her best friend, she had been quite the whole drive. She picked her up from Alex’s house in the morning, and they got coffee and some food, and Tobin had barely said a word, but she wasn’t upset just deep in thought. Meghan finally gave in and asked her what she was thinking about.  
   
“What’s up with your face?” She asked casually.  
   
Tobin looked over to her, then into her reflection in the glass, “Nothing… What? What’s wrong with my face?”  
“Why do you look like someone stole your cookies?” Meghan smiled over to her, “Did you and Alex get into a fight or something?”  
   
“No,” Tobin said with a smile, “No, she is just freaking out about meeting the siblings tonight.”  
   
“Why, Perry and Katie are awesome, they’ll love her, and Jeff won’t care either way.”  
   
“That’s what I said.” She threw her cup away, “She’s still worried.” She crossed her arms, “How did Morgan do meeting Drew? I mean I know it went well, but was she nervous.”  
   
Meghan thought about the other day when she brought Morgan home to meet her little brother. “Not really no, I mean Drew is not the type of person to hate anyone really. Plus Morgan is super likable. I think it helped it being just the two of them. I can see being kind of overwhelmed if it was three siblings I had to meet. I met Jen and everything was pretty smooth. I don’t know, I don’t think Morgan really get’s nervous about stuff like that, she’s pretty wonderful.”  
   
“Says her girlfriend,” Tobin laughed.  
   
“I know right,” Meghan laughed along with her friend, “You know what, it’s really strange being a girlfriend. I thought this wouldn’t happen until college and even then I figured I would have a weird starter girlfriend that was kind of mean, and you hated, but I stayed with her because she was the first girl that showed any interest in me.”  
   
Tobin looked over at her, “That’s a really deep thought.”  
   
Meghan chuckled, “Yeah I guess it’s a little messed up, now that I am thinking about it.”  
   
“But I get what you mean, it is weird being someone’s girlfriend, like being accountable to someone else. It’s like I don’t really think about doing something without thinking about Alex beforehand, and its strange, but it’s kind of nice too.”  
   
“ _That’s_ a deep thought,” Meghan said nodding.  
   
“I guess being girlfriends has made us better thinkers,” Tobin smiled.  
   
“Yeah, I guess so.”  
   
   
They headed inside and started their normal Wednesday duties. The job had become routine, neither of them needing any kind of direction, Ashlyn only popped her head out of the office to say good morning, or to make a comment on something they were talking about. A few hours later Christen showed up and Meghan went to let her in. It had been two weeks since Boston, but Tobin still felt a little uncomfortable with Christen. They had yet to talk about what happened between them, how Alex got so upset about the dancing and the hat. Tobin was afraid to talk to her, she didn’t want to hear something she wasn’t ready for. The thing she didn’t want to hear was the Christen still had feelings for her, because then she would feel obligated to let Alex know and that would put a rift between her and her girlfriend and Tobin didn’t want anything to come between them, so for two weeks she had been… cordial, to Christen, saying hi and bye and talking to her at games just enough to make sure no one could tell how awkward she was, even though Meghan knew.  
   
“You need to talk to her,” Meghan said coming back into the stock room.  
   
“No I don’t,” Tobin responded not looking over to her friend, “We’re fine.”  
   
Meghan huffed, “You’re going to the same college as her, the next four years are going to be real awkward if you two don’t talk.”  
   
“I can’t,” Tobin said simply, “I don’t want Alex to get upset with me.”  
   
“Why would she get upset with you talking to your friend?” she moved over to watch Tobin’s eyes looking down avoiding contact with her own, “Unless you have more than friendly feelings for her.”  
   
“No!” Tobin snapped, she took a deep breath, “I want to be Chris’ friend, I really do, I just worry.”  
   
“About what?”  
   
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings at all, and I especially don’t want Lex to get upset with me.” She stacked a few more boxes on the shelf, “I have other things to worry about tonight, okay. I’ll talk to Chris, just not today.”  
   
The truth was, Meghan was right, she needed to talk to Christen, she wanted to, she was just hoping to wait until summer was over and she didn’t have much of a choice. It was always easier to wait until there was no other option, that way you were forced and didn’t have to summon any courage, something she wasn’t sure she really had at the moment. Besides she needed to focus on Alex and nothing else.

 

Tobin had come in from lunch, and Christen was in the back room grabbing something for a customer. She wasn’t expecting to see the dark haired girl back there and she wasn’t very smooth with hiding her shock. She went over to the time clock and punched in her code without saying a word. Christen grabbed a box off the shelve then left the room without so much as looking in her direction. 

Meghan walked over and put her arm around Tobin’s shoulder, “Yeah, that wasn’t awkward at all.”

Tobin shrugged, “I’ll talk to her, just not now.”

She headed over to the rack and grabbed her clipboard. The whole situation was strange and made her feel uncomfortable, but her mind needed to be on Alex. A few minutes later Christen walked back in the stock room to clock out, she looked over at Tobin and gave her a half smile the way she did when she felt uneasy, and Tobin responded with a clearly awkward and uncomfortable wave, before Christen turned and walked out the room. So maybe things were pretty weird, and maybe she should go ahead and talk to her, but how the hell was she supposed to do that.  
   
“You two okay?” 

Tobin turned around to see Ashlyn leaning against the office door. “Uh, yeah.”

“Seems, like you two are weird,” She walked over and sat on the table across from Tobin. 

“I guess we are, but I don’t really know how to fix it.” She admitted. 

“Well, what happened?”

Tobin didn’t really want to talk about it, she wanted to think about Alex, how to make sure the dinner went well, but if anyone could help her clear things up with Christen it was Ashlyn. Over the last two weeks she had been going to her older manager for advice, things she thought she couldn’t really talk to her sister about, things that involved being a girl and having a girlfriend, and every time Ashlyn gave her guidance that was informative, instructional and easy to execute, the type of advice that Tobin loved, so maybe she could help with this too. 

She went through the whole story, everything that happened at the party, the dancing with Christen, and the whole Tobin Heath SnapBack incident. She walked her through what Meghan said to her and how she now knew to keep her hat to herself. With heavy words she explained the fight and how Alex broke up with her. She went through the confusing conversation that she had with Alex’s ex about Tobin stepping up and getting her back, and how she talked to Alex through a bathroom door. Alex hadn’t officially told her to stay away from Christen, but she thought it was a good idea to at least keep her distance for a while. 

“Do you think Christen still has feelings for you?” Ashlyn asked after hearing the whole story. 

Tobin thought for a second, the looks they shared, the off hand comments she heard Christen make, and most of all the dancing. “I’m not really sure.”

“Well the only way to really know for sure is to ask.”

“I can’t do that,” She breathed out, “I don’t want anything to happen, I don’t want Alex to get upset with me.”

The older girl nodded, knowing exactly how it is to date an extremely excitable soccer player with the ability to kick the soul from your body, “Then you have to talk to Alex about talking to Christen. If she says yes, then talk to Chris, if she says no, then try approaching the situation a different time, when it’s not so fresh. At the end of the day Little Me, you have to talk to Chris. You two are going to see each other everyday at college, you can’t avoid her forever, and Alex has to accept that you two will be, at the very least, teammates, and that means talking.”

Tobin leaned against the rack of shoes behind her, twirling the pen with her fingers, “Yeah I know. I’m going to talk to Alex, just not right now, she’s meeting my brother and sisters tonight and I don’t want her to be more stressed out than she is now.”

“Oh man, meeting the fam huh?” The blonde let out a little laugh, “That’s pretty nerve racking, yeah maybe save the Christen thing for later.”

“Does, Allie have any siblings?” Tobin asked. 

“Yeah, a brother Kyle.” She answered. 

“I assumed you’ve met him, how’d that go?”

“Amazing,” Ashlyn laughed, “Kyle is awesome, he does my hair.”

Tobin laughed, “really, that’s awesome. Alex’s sisters threatened to kill me.”

“That’s normal stuff,” Ashlyn said waving her hand, “I’ve gotten a lot of death threats, and Kyle even gave me a good speech, that’s just what they have to do.”

“I don’t think Perry and Katie are death threat type of people, and I know Jeff isn’t.” 

Ashlyn hopped off the table, “You’d be surprised what someone will do for their little sister. I didn’t think my brother Chris was the shovel talk kind of guy either, but Allie said he gave a pretty good one.”

“Well, if they threaten to kill my girlfriend I at least hope they are good at it.” Tobin joked. 

“That’s the spirit.”

 

Ashlyn went to the front to help Jozy out, and Tobin went back to organizing. The conversation did make her feel a lot better about Christen, and she promised herself that she would sit down with Alex and figure it all out so she could stop being so weird. Truth was, she missed Christen, this awkwardness was effecting them on the field, she missed that connection, but most of all she just missed talking to her. Before Boston, before all the drama, she had a friend, a really good one and she wanted her back. She had to get through tonight, make sure Alex was okay, then she could focus on getting her friend back.  
 

\--  
   
   
   
The night came quicker than Tobin thought, she was done with work, showered and changed into a nice button up and a nice pair of jeans with no holes. She looked in the mirror and checked her hair, it was down around her shoulders, the way she wore it when she was trying to look extra nice. She may not have cared how she looked going to a chain restaurant with her siblings but Alex cared and she was not about to upset her in any way, not when she was this nervous.  
   
“You look nice,” Katie said standing in Tobin’s doorway.  
   
Tobin spun around to see her sister, “Thanks, Alex told me to wear something nice.”  
   
She let out a little laugh, “My little sister really does have a girlfriend, getting bossed around already.”  
   
“Pretty much,” she smiled.  
   
Katie went over and fixed Tobin’s collar, “Are you nervous?”  
   
“A little,” she admitted, “I’m nervous because she’s nervous.”  
   
“You’re a good girlfriend Toby.” Katie said simply. “Don’t be nervous, I’m sure we are going to love her.”  
   
“I know you will.” Tobin smiled.  
   
Perry walked in the room, “Alex make you wear a nice shirt?”  
   
Tobin laughed a little, “Yup.”

Her sisters were both dressed really nice, Katie had on a skirt with a shirt that flowed off her. Perry was in a simple dress, nothing too crazy, but nice enough to give the impression she actually tried. They both had on make up but not too much, and Tobin thought Alex was right in wearing the dress that she had texted Tobin over ten pictures of throughout the day. 

“You guys ready?” A deep voice came from the hallway. 

All three girls looked over to see their little brother in jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of dirty sneakers. 

“No, go put on a nice shirt.” Perry demanded. 

“What, why?” Jeff looked down at his clothes, “We are going to Olive Garden, who cares.”

“We care,” Katie told him in a stern voice, “We are meeting Toby’s girlfriend, and we will not look like a bunch of hoodlums. Go put on a nice shirt and clean shoes.”

Jeff shook his head, “You guys never cared this much when you met my girlfriend.”

“We also met her in a Shake Shack Parking lot, on a random Friday night.” Perry laughed, “Now go put on nice clothes.”

He huffed, saying things under his breath as he headed down the hall. 

“He always has to make a big deal out of everything.” Katie shook her head. She went back to fixing the shirt Tobin was wearing. “You should go pick up Alex now. We will meet you there as soon as our brother puts on something acceptable.”

Tobin shook her head smiling at her older sisters, “Okay, it shouldn’t take long to pick her up and get there.” She turned around and looked at herself in the mirror one last time, “You sure this is nice enough.”

“Yup, it’s the perfect mixture of nice, yet casual.” Perry told her, putting her hands on her shoulders, “Don’t worry, we are going to love her as much as you do.”

Tobin looked through the mirror at her sisters, it was nice having them both home, helping her the way she had always thought they would. She missed her sisters more than she ever imagined. Having Perry home for the summer made so many things easier on her, things she didn’t even know were going to be hard, still not having Katie there still felt a little off, but now she was home, and everything just felt right. Even Jeff in his room complaining about not having a nice shirt was nice. Tobin had her family, and they were about to meet one of the most important people in her life. 

 

-

Alex was in her room fixing her mascara line for the third time in the night. No matter how many times she tried it never seemed to come out right. She tried to hold her hand steady, but she kept shaking. 

“You’ll never get a straight line like that,” Jeri chuckled. “Here, give it to me.”

Frustrated with herself, and the mascara and the world she handed the tube over to her older sister. “I’m nervous.” She admitted.

“I can tell,” she said leaning against the sink. “So it’s just her brother and sisters tonight right, not the parents?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered trying to hold her face steady as her sister went to work. “She’s not out to her parents yet, so I have no idea when I’ll meet them.”

“And it’s Katie and Perry Heath right? And her little brother, what’s his name?”

“Jeff, and yeah it’s Katie and Perry.” 

“I remember Perry, she was a grade below me, but I remember she was the one who got everyone together to protest not having kosher meals in the cafeteria.” She laughed a little to herself, “When the paper interviewed her and ask why, you know because her family was Catholic, she just said ‘justice’ and walked away. She was pretty famous after that.”

“She sounds intense, and like the absolute opposite of Tobin.” She said feeling a little nervous. 

Jeri shrugged, “I mean I don’t know about being opposite of Tobin, but she wasn’t really intense, she just liked to make a scene, and I think she actually cared. But I remember Katie a lot, she was quiet, and smart, she never really hung out and didn’t talk a bunch.”

“That sounds more like Tobin,” Alex told her, “I just want everything to be okay, you know so when I meet her parent’s I’ll have them on my side.”

“Don’t worry little sis, they will love you.” She finished the makeup putting the brush back in the tube, “And now you have the perfect liquid line.”

Alex looked in the mirror smiling at her make up, “That’s perfect. Thanks Jeri.”

“Of course,” she smiled, “You got this Lex.”

“I really hope so.”

The doorbell rang and it was time to go. Alex grabbed her purse and headed downstairs. Tobin was standing in the foyer, Jenny had let her in. She was wearing a nice shirt, red with tiny dark blue marks, that if you got close enough you could see were shoes print. She had a pair of skinny jeans, dark blue, with no holes just as she was told to do, and of course the best part, she was smiling bright and white the perfect calming piece to Tobin. 

“You look great,” Tobin told her as they she made her way downstairs. 

Alex blushed a little under her gaze, “thanks, so do you.”

“No holes, just like you said.” Tobin looked down at her jeans then smiled up at her girlfriend.

She got down the stairs and kissed Tobin’s cheek, getting an even bigger smile from the girl. They said their goodbyes and headed to the car. Tobin leaned over the center console, turning Alex’s head towards her with her hand and bringing her in for a kiss.

“You look really beautiful,” Tobin breathed out as their lips parted. 

Alex leaned in for another kiss, this one getting a little hotter than the last. She smiled, stopping them from completely making out, “You’re going to smear my lipgloss.” 

“What if that’s the goal?” Tobin smiled. 

“Save it for later.” Alex giggled a little, “Can’t have you wearing my shade in front of your family.”

She nodded, knowing her girlfriend was right, “Fine, but later.”

“Later.” Alex agreed. 

 

They drove the twenty minutes it took to get to the restaurant, Alex was asking questions the whole way, last minute prep before they walked in and she was struggling to make a good impression. The place wasn’t crowded it being a Wednesday night in the summer, so the three Heath children were easily spotted right outside the restaurant, Jeff now changed into a polo and slacks. 

Katie was the one to spot the two girls walking up, she slapped Perry’s arm, “Woo, you said she was pretty, but you didn’t say she was freaking gorgeous.”

“Yeah, Toby did a good job,” Perry smiled. 

Tobin felt Alex grab her hand and squeeze as the got closer to her siblings, she was holding so tight Tobin could feel her pulse, and her heart was racing. Tobin leaned over just enough for Alex to hear her whisper.

“You got this.”

Alex turned her head just a little and smiled loosening her grip just a little as they took the final steps to meet Tobin’s family. 

“Hey everyone,” Tobin said a little more nervous now that they were in the moment, “This is Alex my girlfriend.” She was extremely proud to say that. “Alex, these are my sisters Perry and Katie and my little brother Jeff.”

Alex gave a little half wave, her other hand still holding tight to Tobin’s, “Hey it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Katie said with a big smile that reminded Alex of Tobin’s smile. “I’ve heard nothing but fantastic things about you.”

“It’s nice to see you again Alex,” Perry said sweetly, “Thanks for having dinner with us.”

Alex nodded, “Yeah of course.”

All the Heath sisters looked over to Jeff who had his hands shoved in his pockets and was studying the cars in the parking lot. 

He looked over at his sisters. “Sorry, uh, it’s nice to see you. We’ve met in school once I think.”

“Yeah I remember,” Alex said casually, “It’s nice to actually have a conversation with you.”

The younger boy smiled lowering his head just a little, “Yeah, you too.” 

It seemed like The Heath children all had the same types of habits, something that made Alex instantly feel more comfortable. They went inside and were seated immediately, just like Tobin, they all buried their faces in the menus, only they all talked out loud about what sounded good, Jeff vowing to eat at least three plates of pasta. 

Perry was just as Alex thought she would be after hearing the story Jeri told her. She looked like Tobin but a little paler, no doubt because she didn’t spend hours outside playing soccer. She was the more talkative one filling silence whenever it came, and asked questions about Alex. She may have talked more than Tobin ever dared to, but they sounded the same, pronouncing their words exactly the same, laughing in the middle of sentences, leaning back when something was really funny. She even smile like Tobin, her eyes crinkling in the corners as the corners of her mouth pulled up to reveal her beautiful white teeth. Her hair was long and brown and a little curly, and less unruly than her little sisters. Alex wondered if this is how Tobin would be if she was a little more confident in herself, if she would make jokes and talk so easily to the waitress. Perry was definitely the cool confident version of Tobin.

The oldest of the four kids was the most like Tobin. She was calm and reserved and only really spoke when she had something to say. She had a way about her that set Alex at ease. Her eyes were the same warm brown, and her skin sun kissed like Tobin’s. The way she spoke let you know that she was intelligent, but didn’t like to brag about it, she talked about interesting things, and made sure everyone was included. She laughed at Perry’s silly jokes, and also reeled her in when she started to joke a little too much. She kind of reminded Alex of Jeri, in the sense that she just seemed responsible, like she knew how to take care of the group and wouldn’t hesitate to scold them if she needed to, which she did when Jeff and Tobin got into a breadstick eating contest. 

Jeff, the only boy was a little rowdy once Tobin got him going. He had a deep voice, smooth when he talked, and rumbled a little when he laughed. He was tall, and sat up almost perfectly straight when he sat, just as Tobin always did, almost like their mother stuck a pole up their shirts when they were little kids. He talked about soccer, just like Tobin did describing his favorite team with the same enthusiasm. His face was scruffy from a few days without seeing a razor and his jaw was strong matching perfectly to the rest of his features. He always had a funny comment to say whenever Katie spoke, and something smart to say to Tobin whenever she said anything, the way a true little brother was. 

Alex was realizing that Tobin was the perfect mixture of her siblings. She had Perry’s sense of responsibility and conservative speech. She had the sense of humor of Katie and the quick witted nature of her little brother. The more they all talked, telling stories about Tobin, the more comfortable Alex got, she was happy to talk to all these different versions of the girl she was falling so in love with, and they all seemed to like her too.

“What made you want to go to California?” Katie asked as their plates were taken away.

Alex took a quick sip of her water, “I honestly just wanted to get out of the state. When Berkeley offered me the scholarship I kind of jumped at the chance. I’ve always wanted to see California, and I figured what better way than college.”

“Man, I wish I could do that,” Perry chimed in, “I would love to just pack up and move to California, go surfing, and sit on the beach.”

“You can’t surf.” Tobin laughed.

“If I lived in L.A. I would learn.” She said back, “I would find a hot surfer guy to teach me.”

Jeff was cracking up, “Until he realized you have zero balance and would never be able to actually ride a wave.”

“Yeah, you fell off my long board like five times before finally giving up.” Tobin added in.

Perry gave her the stink eye, then turned to Alex, “One time Tobin got into a ‘who can eat the most disgusting thing’ contest with Jeff, and she won by eating a whole scoop of dog food.”

“Hey!” Tobin yelled. “Not cool, I was six.” She turned to Alex, “That was a long time ago, and I haven’t eaten dog food since.”

Alex reached her hand up and cupped her face, “Don’t worry babe, you won and that’s what really matters.”

Tobin started to blush, “I knew I picked the right girl.”

“You really did,” Katie laughed, “Any girl that only see’s the win in that story is definitely the right girl for you.”

It was an off hand playful comment but it made Alex’s heart sing when she heard it, and by the look on Tobin’s face she was feeling the same way. 

 

At the end of the night, Perry insisted on paying even though Alex and Tobin technically owed her dinner. They all went outside and stood around the exit waiting to say their goodbyes. 

“It was really nice to see you again Alex, and get to actually talk to you.” Perry said, she leaned in for a hug. 

Alex accepted the hug squeezing back, “Yeah, I’m so happy we did this.”

Katie was next to give a hug, “Nice to meet you Lex, I can’t believe you are dating my dorky little sister.”

Laughing as she pulled away Alex said, “Yeah but her dorkiness is kinda cute.”

“Just kinda?” Tobin chuckled. 

Jeff leaned in giving Alex a half hug, “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Alex said, accepting the fact that the easy going goodbye was as good as it got with the boy.

Tobin let out a huge breath, “Well, we are going to head back to her house. Thanks for coming to dinner guys.”

“Of course Toby,” Perry said sweetly.

“Yeah, we have to do this again before I leave.” Katie added in.

Alex beamed knowing they wanted to see more of her, “Yeah for sure.”

“Yeah, maybe next week.” Tobin smiled.

She gave Katie a quick hug, then punched Jeff in the arm. When she leaned in to give Perry a hug her older sister whispered in her ear. 

“Don’t worry we will cover for you with mom.” She pulled back, “Staying at Meghan’s house… again.” She said with a wink.

Tobin shook her head, “Thanks.” She laughed.

 

“I like your siblings,” Alex said happily as they pulled out of the parking lot.

Tobin looked over to her, “Yeah?” She had a huge smile, “They liked you too.”

“I hope so,” she responded, reaching over to hold Tobin’s free hand, “We have to hang out again before Katie leaves.”

“Don’t worry babe,” Tobin grinned, “I’ll set it all up.”

The night had gone better than Tobin could have ever imagined. Everyone got along, their personalities meshing so well together. After they sat down and started to really talk Alex had relaxed, and Tobin wondered why she was nervous to begin with, it seemed like they had known each other forever. They even remembered some of the same people from school, Perry naming off a few freshman that were there when she was a senior and Alex had funny stories to say about a lot of them. Tobin couldn’t help but think, if Alex was Perry’s age they probably would have been really good friends in school. Katie was the perfect big sister, stopping Perry from sharing too many embarrassing stories about her, and showing genuine interest in Alex. Of course Jeff was Jeff about everything, he asked about soccer, and a few of Alex’s friends from school until Katie made him stop. All in all Tobin couldn’t be happier about them meeting, now if only she could introduce Alex to her parents. 

 

—-

 

They got into the house, walking up the stairs quietly, it wasn’t too late, but Alex didn’t want to be stopped and asked a million questions about the night, she had something she needed to talk to Tobin about, and she was finally ready. Perry had mentioned a girl from their school when they were talking, she was a sophomore when Perry was in school and a junior when Alex was a freshman, and she was someone she needed to talk to Tobin about. 

“I’m kind of hyped up,” Tobin said grabbing a soccer ball from the corner in Alex’s room, “We should go out and kick around a little.”

“I need to talk to you,” Alex rushed out, her voice cracking a bit.

Tobin looked over to her, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she responded softening her voice, “I just need to talk to you about something… Something in my past.” She reached over to Tobin’s hands pulling her to the bed and sitting down on the edge. She took a deep breath, “your sister mentioned someone from school, someone we all knew. Do you remember Valarie Crane?”

Tobin lowered her head, she heard the name at dinner and she chose to brush over it. The name was one she recognized well, one that still upset her. “Yeah, she’s your ex-girlfriend.”

Alex nodded, her throat becoming tight, “Yeah she is.” She squeezed Tobin’s hands, “I need to talk to you about her.”

“Why,” the word came out harsher than she intended, “I just mean, I don’t need to know about her.” She shook her head, “I don’t really want to know about her.”

“Tobin, I have to tell you.” She could feel herself getting a little choked up, “I need to tell you.”

There was something in her eyes, in the way her voice was cracking with almost every word, something was going on and Tobin needed to put her selfish nature behind her. She didn’t want to hear about any of Alex’s ex’s, she had a hard enough time with Julie, she definitely didn’t want to hear about the girl Alex dated for over a year, the first girl Alex dated, the first one she kissed, the one that everyone swooned over in school. She didn’t want to hear about their perfect relationship, she heard it all in school, in the locker rooms when girls would talk about how jealous they were of Alex and how great Valarie was. Tobin wanted to tell her no, that she couldn’t listen to it, but Alex’s eyes were shaking, her hands were cold, and there was no way for Tobin to deny her girlfriends request. 

She took a deep breath, “Okay, I’m listening.”

This was the first time Alex had told this story in a long time, it was something she wasn’t proud of, something she didn’t want anyone to know. Over the past year exactly five people knew and each time she told someone it was hard to get out. Sitting here with Tobin and those soft loving eyes looking at her Alex knew she was going to be the hardest person to tell.

“Val and I dated in school, like you know. She started talking to me summer of sophomore year, her senior year, but we didn’t officially start dating until the week before school started. Everything was going really great with her, I mean she was Valarie Crane, beautiful, smart, funny, popular, an all state volleyball player. I thought she really got me, she understood about practice and needing to focus on soccer, after all she was really focused on volleyball and getting a scholarship. She started off so sweet and loving and everyone loved her back. My dad loved her, my sisters, Moe, everyone thought she was just the perfect girl, and so did I.” She paused for a second trying to find the words to say that she hadn’t said in years. 

“It was towards the middle of the school year when things started to change, she started to change. We had sex.” She looked up to Tobin who set her jaw at the sentence. Alex knew that would bother her, but she needed all the facts. “She was older, she had done it before and I was kind of freaked out about the whole thing, but she kind of convinced me, which is not how it’s supposed to go ever, you should always be sure about that, but I was so afraid she was going to leave me, that I kind of gave in.” Looking up to Tobin she saw her expression start to soften, so she continued. 

“After that she got really possessive. She would text me constantly always wanting to know where I was. She would pull me away from my friends and make me hangout with only her friends. She started to isolate me from Moe, JJ and Becky. Soon it turned into her accusing me of cheating on her with everyone including Moe. She told me the only way she could trust me was if I stayed away from them. It got to the point where she made her friends keep tabs on me. She never hit me, she never physically harmed me, but mentally I was broken, I had no idea what to do.” She paused for a second to look at Tobin whose face went from angry to worry as the story went on. 

“I was so afraid the whole year. I was afraid to leave, I was afraid to stay, I was afraid to do anything. She was Valarie Crane, she was the most popular girl in school, I kept thinking that no one would believe me if I said anything. Val was literally the most charming person in the world, no one would believe she was… abusive.” She needed to take a breath before she continued, that word taking a lot out of her. “Two weeks before school ended I was in the hall, that was the time when Sydney’s dad got sick and she was telling me how he was. I gave her a hug, and Val saw, she got so pissed off. She came up all sweet and talked a little with Sydney about her dad, then took me away, when we were walking she grabbed my hand so hard in felt like she was twisting it off. She told me she would deal with it after school. The whole day my stomach was in knots, I felt like I was going to puke. I felt like I needed to scream, or run or do something, but I didn’t. After school I stood by her car, just like I did everyday, I thought about running, I thought about just leaving, but for some reason my mind wouldn’t let me move, so I stood there until she got there with her friends. They all talk for a while, laughing and having a good time, then we got in the car to drive to my house.”

The next part was the hardest to say, but she held tight to Tobin’s hand to give her the courage to speak. “As soon as we pulled out of the school parking lot she started to scream at me, accusing me of cheating on her, calling me horrible names. The whole drive she was non stop, just yelling at me as I cried in the passengers seat. We were pulling up to my house and she demanded I stay in the car, but something in me told me to get out, so I did. She got out the car and grabbed my arm yanking me around, yelling at me about doing what she said. I pulled my arm free and I yelled for her to leave me alone, it was the first time I had ever yelled at her… She smacked me, right across the face.”

Tobin sat up straight her fist balled up, “What did you do?”

“I punched her.” Alex said with a little bit of cockiness to her tone, “I balled up my fist and punched her in the face, right hook just like my dad taught me how to do. Jenny and Jeri were home from school, and they saw the whole thing. Before anything else could happen Jeri had me inside sitting me down on the stairs. The next thing I know Jenny was inside, her knuckles were bloody and she had the beginnings of a black eye. They made me tell them everything, I cried the whole time, Jenny told me that I didn’t have to worry about her anymore. We spent the whole weekend in Jeri’s bed watching TV, well I was crying, but the TV blocked my parents from hearing it.”

“It was the worst thing I had ever gone through in my life. I had no idea how to deal with it. They tell you in school how to recognize a troubled relationship, you see things about it on TV and stuff but you never think it will happen to you or anyone you know. The worst part was I felt so insane, like I was the reason all of it was happening, like I was making her do all those things, she had my head all messed up. I took a break from dating junior year, the only people who knew why was Moe and Becky, and after JJ and I got closer I told her too, and now you know.”

Tobin lunged forward wrapping Alex up in her arms and holding her close, “I’m so sorry that happened to you Lex.” 

Alex squeezed tight to her girlfriend, the weight of the world finally falling off her shoulders. It was a secret she had been holding onto for years, something that shaped the way she saw the world, the way she saw herself. It was one of the biggest reasons she kept her distance from any girl who shared any interest in her until JJ. It was one of the reasons she stopped herself from talking to Tobin in junior year, one of the only years they shared a class and she got to hear Tobin talk. It was the reason she was holding back with her right now, she needed Tobin to know before they could go any further. 

Tobin pulled away from the hug just enough for there eyes to meet, “No one should ever hurt you like that Alex, no one.” She set her jaw staring right into those blue eyes, “I would never hurt you like that. I will always be kind to you no matter what. I will always take care of you, I will always protect you.”

The look in her eyes, those big brown eyes glossed over with tears that hadn’t fallen down her tan cheeks. The look on her face when she said she would take care of her, protect her, she knew Tobin meant every single word she said, and it was in that moment Alex knew she was ready. 

She leaned forward capturing Tobin’s lips in hers, she felt the hesitation, there had been so many times when she put a stop to this, but not tonight. She put her hand in Tobin’s hair, pulling her in closer deepening the kiss. She pulled back and whispered against her lips, “I’m ready.”

Tobin looked into her eyes, her lips trembling just a little against Alex’s soft lips, “Are… Are you sure?”

“Yes, Tobin…” she kissed her again, “I’m sure.”

Standing up together, they came in for a long kiss, slow almost like they were getting to know each other again. Tobin let her hand slide up Alex’s back, following the zipper on her dress until she got to the pull, and with a nod of Alex’s head she slid the pull down unzipping the dress. Alex reached up and pushed the straps off her shoulders letting the dress fall to the ground. Tobin took a breath and held it, her mind scared to ruin this moment even with breathing. 

Alex was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, she was perfect in every way and Tobin couldn’t believe she was standing in front of her. She was wearing a set of lacy dark blue undergarments, the bra holding back her breast perfectly and Tobin thought she might pass out just from staring at her. It was Alex that grounded her in the moment, reaching up touching Tobin’s cheek with her warm hand, bringing her into another kiss. 

Tobin could feel her heartbeat quicken as Alex started to unbutton her shirt, painfully slow, popping each button out while still kissing Tobin. Her head started to swim, when Alex pushed her shirt off her shoulders, and ran her hand down her stomach to the button on her jeans. They may have been here before, half naked with each other, but it was different, it was more, and when Alex unbutton her jeans pulling down the zipper, Tobin could swear she was going to fall over. 

It was easy to read the worry in Tobin’s face when Alex finally pushed her jeans down watching her kick them off. Her eyes were big, raking over Alex’s body, her hands sitting on her hips trying to figure out what to do. Her once incredibly confident girlfriend was now as nervous as she was the first time they had been even close to this position. Alex grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to the bed, giving her small encouraging kisses as they climbed into bed and under the blankets. 

The lights were off and only the moon light shining through the curtains allowed them to really see each other, but it was enough. Alex was laying back in the pillows, her long brown hair fanned out and Tobin swore she was some kind of angel. She leaned down to kiss her, slow at first, wanting to let Alex know that this was all at her pace, that she was the one who needed to tell Tobin what to do, and Alex read each cue.

She kissed Tobin hungrily, speeding up, slipping her tongue through her parted lips, she felt Tobin kiss back using her tongue to massage hers. Alex slid her hands up from Tobin’s hips, feeling her ribs as she made it to the edge of her bra, she followed the hem across finding the clasp and toying with it for a second before she felt Tobin nod into her mouth. She unhooked her bra letting it fall and tossing it to the ground. Now it was her turn to feel like she was going to pass out looking up at Tobin and how amazingly perfect she was. Alex pulled her down into another searing kiss, this got Tobin going, bringing up her confidence. 

Tobin reached behind Alex and unhooked her bra tossing the garment to the floor and running her hand the length of Alex’s torso until her hand stopped at her breast cupping it in a way that made Alex moan into her mouth. She let her weight fall, allowing her leg to fall between Alex’s pushing down, feeling Alex grind up on her. She kissed her hard, pushing past her lips, kissing across her jawline then behind her ear, hearing Alex’s breath become heavy. She kissed down her neck, to her chest taking one of Alex’s hard nipples in her mouth swirling her tongue around it forcing Alex to push her chest up for more. 

Alex was shocked by the moves her inexperienced girlfriend was pulling out, the way she was making her feel, but she couldn’t think about it too long, not when Tobin’s leg was putting the right pressure in the right places. She bucked her hips up to grind against the strong leg between hers, breathing heavy as Tobin switched to her other nipple taking it into her mouth. Alex pushed harder against her leg wanting more. She pulled Tobin up and into a kiss. 

“I want you,” Alex whispered against her lips. 

“I…” Tobin hesitated, “I don’t really know…”

She pulled her down for another kiss, “It’s okay baby.”

Alex reached down and started to push her panties down kicking them somewhere in the sheets. She saw Tobin looked down surveying her body then looking back up at her with hunger in her eyes. All Alex could do was smile, she had never seen that look before, but she knew she wanted to see it again. 

Tobin was balancing on her arms, her body laying on top of Alex, her leg settled between Alex’s again, she could feel the wetness on her thigh, she could feel Alex pushing up against her, but she wanted more. A little shaky Tobin put all her weight on her right arm and let her left hand trail down Alex’s body stopping at her hips just before running them up her legs then back down again. She may have not known exactly what to do, but she had an idea and she was going with it. She let her hand sit just above where it was supposed to be, moving her leg to give her room. She looked up at Alex who nodded her permission bitting her lip.

Her hand move slowly, a little shaky, but still softly down until her fingers felt the most amazing feeling they ever felt. This was better than anything, better than food, better than sleep, better than the ocean, better than soccer. Her fingers stroked through Alex’s folds causing Alex’s head to fall back her mouth half open as her breath came out jagged. Tobin found the hard bud she was looking for, putting a little pressure just around it, the way she read, and started to move her hand in small circles. 

Alex laid back, one of her hands finding the sheets, balling them up, the other holding onto Tobin’s strong back. Tobin was timid, but it felt good, she was finding her way and Alex was starting to climb. Alex had her eyes closed, her head back enjoying the feeling but she could feel Tobin’s eyes on her, she looked up at her girlfriend. 

“Is this okay?” Tobin’s low voice was shaky. 

Alex reached up fisting her hand in her hair and pulling her down for a hot kiss. “Yes baby, keep going.”

Tobin continued on as she was told, but her mind was exploding with ideas, everything she had ever heard, seen, read everything she wanted to do. She let her fingers roam just further down until she found Alex’s entrance. She let her fingers dance just outside, not sure if this was something she was allowed to do. Alex answered her silent question by pushing up into her hand making her fingers slip inside her. 

The motion made Alex hold tighter to Tobin, pulling her down, moving their bodies closer causing her fingers to go deeper. Alex opened her legs just a little more letting Tobin fall between them, her hand starting to find a rhythm. Tobin leaned down and kissed her neck, kissing up to her ear, she was about to whisper something when she heard Alex talking, it was hard to hear, her voice jagged and breathless, but she heard the word.

“Harder,” Alex said simply. 

Tobin pushed harder and a little faster, causing Alex’s hips to move with her hand and before she could think about doing anything else she felt Alex’s whole body tighten, all her muscles flexing for a split second before she was trembling below, clinging tight to Tobin, saying her name.

Tobin waited the minute it took for Alex to come down, before removing her fingers and wiping them off on the sheets. She let her body fall against Alex’s as she was wrapped up in her girlfriends arms feeling her soft lips kiss her neck. 

“Was that okay?” Tobin asked timidly.

Alex giggled sweetly, “That was amazing.” She kissed her neck again. “You are amazing.”

Tobin held her close wrapping her arms all the way around her before flipping them over so she was on her back and Alex was laying across her. She could feel her girlfriends heart beating in her chest, her breath against her skin as she laid her head down on her chest. Tobin pulled the sheets up to cover her bare back, and put her arms around her. It wasn’t long before she heard Alex’s breaths even out, and she was asleep. Tobin looked up at the ceiling, her day could not have gone any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. I have written an outline (finally) and it looks like we have about five chapters left, and maybe a bonus chapter that I have in my head. Who knows, I'm a damn mystery, we might have a bunch more, but the main story line only had five chapters left for sure.
> 
> As always, comment, let me know what you think.


	27. Professional Girlfriend (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin gets to apologize to Christen, but quickly finds a way to mess up again. Upset about her relationship, Tobin decides to do something crazy, which leads to a reckless choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long ass chapter, not going to lie. But I didn't want to leave it on a cliff hanger, so read on. Hope you like it. And as always ignore the typos.

“You look like shit,”

Tobin turned to look at her friend, she rolled her eyes, “Thanks, bud.”

She did look like shit, that’s what happens when you don’t sleep all night. She didn’t get to Christen’s house until around one in the morning, and then they fought, because she was a big fat idiot that doesn’t know how to be a girlfriend, and that led to a completely sleepless night. Tobin got home and laid down on her bed, staring at her phone hoping Christen would text her, any text would have been fine a ‘good night’ a ‘see you tomorrow’ anything, but her phone never buzzed, and that meant her eyes stayed open. Now she was standing outside looking like she had been hit by a truck, and she still had another two hours before she could apologize to Christen.

“Chris is mad at me,” she spoke up as they walked into the store. 

“What did you do?” The shorter girl asked. 

Tobin shrugged, “I guess it’s what I’m not doing.” She pushed through the stock room door and headed for the time-clock, “I’m not spending enough time with her apparently.”

“You got hit with that last night too?” Meghan sighed, “Moe told me that too, I need to spend more time with her, which I guess I get. I mean she and I will be separated in a few weeks, but Chris will probably live down the hall from you, so what’s the big deal.”

Again, Tobin shrugged, “I don’t know, but she’s mad, and I don’t really know how to fix it.”

“Apologize,” Ashlyn was sitting in the office chair, and turned around in it like a super villain, her glasses halfway down her nose, “Whatever it is she said you did, you need to apologize and admit it was your fault.”

Meghan looked over to the older woman, “But what if it’s not your…”

“It’s your fault,” Ashlyn cut her off. She scooted the chair so she was sitting in the doorway, “Listen up Mini Me’s, if you’re girl says you did something wrong, you most likely did something wrong and need to apologize. In the small chance you didn’t do anything wrong, you still need to apologize.”

“Chris is upset because I’m not spending time with her, but I am, I see her all the time.” Tobin exclaimed, she leaned against the wall sinking down, her legs too tired to hold her up straight. “I see her at work, and at soccer, and we hang out.”

Ashlyn cracked a smile, “Oh you are so young, and you have so much to learn. All this work time, all the soccer time, that doesn’t count as time. Every practice you have together, when you go to school, every class you have together, none of that counts as time. In girlfriend world, time is completely different than actual time.”

The two younger girls looked at each other confused. “What are you talking about, what is time?” Meghan said for the both of them.

“Time, my young friends, is anything planned and or unplanned that is out of the regular routine of everyday life.” She set her elbows on the arm rest and her chin on her hands. “Time is, going to eat, seeing a movie, taking a walk, or even just sitting on the couch watching a movie or whatever. Time is the moments you spend together that you can really be yourselves, talk about shit that she wants to talk about, little things. Time is bingeing Netflix a whole Saturday until you both pass out on the couch and wake up confused that its now Sunday. That’s time.”

Tobin lowered her head, she had no idea about any of that, “Well, by that definition, maybe I haven’t been spending time with her.” 

“This shit is confusing,” Meghan huffed running her hand through her hair. 

“It’s tough out there,” Ashlyn smiled, “But it’s worth it. Trust me, whenever you guys are together for a while you’ll fall into this whole time thing and it won’t even feel like your doing anything at all. It’s just hanging out and having fun with your best friend, and you don’t even think about it as crucial to your relationship.”

Tobin stood up throwing her arms in the air, “So I guess I am the total jerk in this situation.”

“Like I said, it’s always your fault, even when it’s not.” She scooted back into the office her words trailing off as she went out of sight, “Just apologize, trust me.”

They looked at each other and shrugged. Neither of them ever had a girlfriend before, so they had no experience to go off of, and Ashlyn was the most responsible lesbian they knew, so they were just going to have to trust her on this one. Tobin needed to apologize, she could do that, after all she could tell how much she really did hurt Christen, and that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. Apologizing wasn’t really the hard part, now that she truly understood why Christen was upset, she just needed to find the right words. 

 

A few hours later a knock on the door came, and Tobin was the one to go out to unlock it for her girlfriend. When she walked out the door, she saw Christen looking equally as tired as she did. She walked slowly to the door her head slightly down, she didn’t really know what to do she just knew she had to figure out how to say sorry and say it in a way that Christen knew she really meant it. 

“Hey,” Tobin said weakly as she opened the door. 

Christen looked at her with a half smile, “Hey.”

Christen pushed past her and walked towards the back of the shop into the stock room. She was obviously still upset, so Tobin waited outside the stock room for her to come back out, she had to apologize now, there was no way she was going to be able to go through all of work with Christen still upset with her. She stood, trying to look at least a little confident, but she was rubbing one hand with the other and she couldn’t focus on anything so she probably looked as nervous as she felt. Finally Christen came out the stock room and stopped just short of Tobin. 

Tobin looked up at her, unsure if she should make eye contact, so she kind of looked a little past her. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she might have a heart attack, when finally the words came out like a flood. 

“I’m an idiot. I was so stupid last night, and I get why you’re so upset with me, because I was so dumb. And I get it with the whole time thing, and how all this doesn’t count but Netflix does, and we can play soccer but we also need to sleep for days and be confused, and it’s my fault, I was wrong, and I am sorry and I promise I will eat movies and watch dinner, and anything else because I don’t want you to be upset, and I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Tobin slow down,” Christen reached out and grabbed her hands stopping them from flailing, “I’m not going to leave you.”

She looked up, biting her bottom lip, “You’re not?”

“No,” Christen let out a soft laugh, “I wouldn’t just leave you for something like this. Tobin this is fixable, we can fix this.”

“We can?” She asked with a hopeful smile.

“Of course we can,” She smiled, taking a step closer so she could put her arms around Tobin’s shoulder, “Don’t panic okay. We just need to spend some more time together. I know you have friends, I have friends, and I love our friends, I really do, I love hanging out with them, but I also love hanging out with you, and I want to do that more often. That’s all, it’s going to be okay.”

Tobin nodded finally breaking into a smile, “Okay, I can do that, I can spend time with you, because I love doing that too. I’m sorry I’ve been such an idiot, I just, I don’t know, I got excited having more friends.”

“I know and I don’t want you to stop hanging out and having fun,” Christen answered honestly, “I get that you and Lindsey are getting really close, and she’ll be in France soon and that sucks, and I don’t want you to not hang out, just maybe we can do it together sometimes that way I’m not feeling so alone. I mean you guys go play soccer all the time and, hello, I’m a soccer player.”

“I know,” Tobin laughed, “I just never thought you’d want to be on the pitch as much as we do, I mean we are kind of freaks about it.”

“You’re right, I don’t want to be out there all day everyday, but I love playing with you, I love getting to know how you play and you learning me. I would love to be out there to just kick around, and maybe you can teach me some more tricks,” She said with a smile. 

Tobin nodded quickly, “Yeah, I can do that, I would love to do that.”

“And maybe we can have time to ourselves, you know without your phone going off every five minutes.” 

“Yeah, we can do that too.” She chuckled lowering her head a bit. “I’m sorry Chris, I promise I will do better.”

“We will both do better,” she leaned in capturing her lips, “I’m sorry I blew up.”

“It’s okay, I deserved it a little bit,” she laughed, “And I won’t go to that party. I’ll tell Linds to ask JJ. I want to be there for dinner.”

“You sure?” Christen asked. 

“Of course.” She answered, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

 

—

 

The rest of the morning was normal, Tobin and Meghan working in the back, and Christen putting the front together. Meghan spent most of her time talking about Morgan and all the things they had been up to. Tobin wasn’t really paying attention, she was too busy trying to sneak peeks of Christen through the stock room window. Eventually it was lunch time and Tobin failed to get Christen to go to lunch with her, as she always did. When she came back her girlfriend and her best friend set off to lunch together. 

 

The two girls walked to the pizza place for the second time in the week, and order the same thing they had the last time. Christen was distracted, her mind wandering all day, and Meghan could tell.  
   
“So you and Tobin got into it last night?” She asked in a low voice, not sure if she should pry.  
   
Christen looked over to her, finally snapped out of her own head, “Yeah, we did. I don’t know maybe I was overreacting.” She toyed with the paper from her straw, “I just want her to pay attention to me. Ever since we got back from Boston, and she started to really hang out with Lindsey, it’s like I’m just a secondary thought to her.”  
   
“That’s not it at all,” Meghan pleaded, “This is all new to her, she just needs to figure it out. Trust me, give her some time, and she will figure it out, Tobin always figures it out.”  
   
“I know Tobin does,” she shook her head, “But will ‘The Tobinator’ figure it out.”  
   
Meghan smiled at the new silly nick name her best friend acquired, “Yeah, she will. Don’t give up on her Chris.”  
   
“I’m not.” She stated firmly, “I’m not just going to walk away from Tobin, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”  
   
Meghan lowered her eyebrows confused, “Why?”  
   
Christen shrugged, “She’s Tobin.”  
   
The answer was simple, and Meghan didn’t pry any further into it, she knew exactly what Christen meant by that. Tobin was a hard person to give up on, there were times in their friendship when they fought, when they would be so mad that the thought crossed her mind to stop being friends with the girl, but at the end of the day, she was Tobin and no matter how angry Meghan was, there was no way to abandon her friend. 

Tobin had a way of pulling you in, even in her quiet, and now in her talkative phase, she always made you like her, there was just something about her, the way she smiled was infectious and the way she viewed the world made you want to live in it. She may have been nervous, and a little confused in the past, but that made figuring things out with her that much more fun. The new person she was quickly developing into was different from the old person Meghan loved, but she was still Tobin, she was still her best friend only now she actually said all the things that she had on her mind, and did the things she wanted to do without fear. The new Tobin was someone she had to get used to, but it wasn’t in a bad way.  
   
   
   
They finished their meal, Meghan was getting some sound advice from Christen on her own ‘spending time’ problem she had with Morgan. They walked back to the store expecting to just go back to work, but much to their surprise Lindsey was standing in the store with Tobin, joking around as they did now.  
   
“Hey Pressy, Kling, get over here.” Lindsey yelled as she spotted the two girls coming in the store.  
   
Tobin was laughing about something, but she managed to wave them over.    
   
“Hey Linds, what are you doing here?” Meghan asked.  
   
“I came to have lunch with the Tobinator, but she already took lunch.” Lindsey punched Tobin in the shoulder.  
   
“Ow,” Tobin laughed holding her shoulder, “It’s called a text dude, that would have saved you the time.”  
   
“Doesn’t really matter,” Lindsey laughed, “I also came to invite youse guys out to dinner tonight. I was thinking we should all get together off the pitch and hang out.” She turned to Meghan, “I already asked Moe and she said yeah, so you don’t have a choice.” She gave a cheeky smile before looking to Christen, “I asked Tobs, but she is whipped and said she has to check with you first.”  
   
“I’m not whipped.” Tobin chuckled, smacking her friend on the back. “I’m just being considerate.” She flashed Christen a proud smile.  
   
As much as Christen was a little annoyed by the invite when they had just had a fight, she couldn’t help but smile when Tobin did, it was impossible, “Where did you want to go?”  
   
“I was thinking BDubs, but I am open to suggestions.” Lindsey replied.  
   
“Oh BDubs, that sounds freaking delicious.” Tobin said happily.  
   
There was no doubting the tone of her voice, or the wondrous look on her face Tobin wanted to go, and Christen didn’t want to hold her back, “Yeah we’ll go.”  
   
Tobin reached over putting her hand on her shoulder, she spoke in a low voice, “We don’t have to, you know, we can just hang out you and me, if you want.”  
   
Those brown eyes were so big Christen could swear she was falling into them, “Let’s go to dinner, we can hangout after.”  
   
“Sounds good,” Tobin said giving another huge smile. She turned to see Lindsey, “Yeah, let’s do it.”  
   
“Rad, so it’ll be us, and Sam, Hope, and Alex. JJ and Becks have to work, and Mallory is hanging out with a more appropriate age group.” She said rolling her eyes, “We can all meet at BDubs around seven?”  
   
“Yeah sounds good,” Tobin answered.  
   
“Sweet, well I’ll let youse guys get back to work,” she punched Tobin in the arm again, “Text me later bruh.”  
   
Tobin hit her back, “Yeah dude.”  
   
“See’ya later.” The happy girl said as she walked out of the store.  
   
Tobin turned to look at her girlfriend and her best friend, “So this should be fun.”  
   
   
   
-  
   
   
The rest of the work day had gone by quickly. Tobin went home and took an hour nap before showering and changing into a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt a backwards snapback to top it all off. She left the house telling her family not to wait up for her, and drove to Christen’s house to pick her up, they were going to meet the group at the restaurant.  
   
“You look great,” Tobin said, standing up straight when Christen came out of her house.  
   
“Thanks, babe.” She said planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. She got in the car after Tobin politely opened the door for her. “Why do you have your gym bag?” she asked noticing the bag sitting in the back seat.  
   
Tobin turned on the car, “It’s a surprise.”  
   
“A surprise in your gym bag?” she questioned sweetly. All she got in return was a nod and a big smile, “Oh come on babe, tell me.”  
   
“You don’t want it to be a surprise?” she asked.  
   
Christen shook her head, “I’m a planner, let me plan.” She joked.  
   
With a huff, she answered, “It’s my computer and a blanket.”  
   
“Both normal things to bring to Buffalo Wild Wings.” Christen joked.  
   
“No,” she shook her head, now a little nervous to tell her girlfriend her true plans, “It’s for after. I thought we could go to the park and watch a movie. I brought the blanket to lay out on.”  
   
These were the things that made Christen hold onto Tobin so tight. No matter how upset she got, Tobin knew how to draw her in, she knew how to make Christen happy. Tobin was sweet, whether or not she was quite or extremely talkative, it didn’t matter if she had a thousand friends or just one good one, at the end of the day Tobin was a good girlfriend, all she needed to do was remember.  
   
Christen leaned over and kissed her cheek, “You’re sweet.”  
   
“I’m trying.” She said simply. At the stop sign, she reached over to hold her hand, looking over at her, “I _am_ trying.” She said with a more serious tone.  
   
“I know,” Christen told her, lifting her hand to kiss the back of Tobin’s, “Thank you.”  
   
They may not have had the whole situation figured out, but Tobin was navigating it well. She squeezed tighter to Christen’s hand once again before continuing to drive. This girlfriend stuff may not have been simple, but she was going to figure it out, loosing Christen was not an option.  
   
   
—

 

They walked through the parking lot hand and hand sneaking looks at each other as they approached the outside of the restaurant. Meghan, Morgan, Hope and Lindsey were already standing outside waiting, they only had two more people to wait on before they could go inside.  
   
“You really took advantage of the ‘around’ part of the phrase ‘around seven’.” Lindsey shouted towards them before they were within talking range.  
   
Tobin started to chuckle, “It’s 705,” she shouted back, “And we are not the last ones to arrive.”  
   
“I’m just saying, I was here on time.” Lindsey said holding her hands up in fake offense.  
   
“Well that’s because you have nothing else to do, and no one to do it with.” Tobin joked.  
   
“Ow, that hurt,” Lindsey pretended to pout. “Dude.”  
   
“Dude,” Tobin laughed.  
   
“Bro,” she responded.  
   
“Bro,” Tobin copied.  
   
“Bruh,” she said exaggerating the word.  
   
Tobin through her head back, “Bruh.”  
   
“Yo,” Lindsey said a little louder.  
   
“Yo.” Tobin matched her level.  
   
“Yo,” Christen said harshly, stopping them from carrying on whatever they were doing.  
   
Tobin looked over to her giving her a sheepish smile, “Sorry babe.” She kissed her on the cheek, wrapping her arm around her waist.  
   
Lindsey shook her head, looking over to her friend and mouthing the word ‘whipped’ making the motion with her hand.  
   
Not trying to bring attention to herself again, Tobin just squinted her eyes and tried not to laugh.  
   
The group, now not being completely occupied by Lindsey and Tobin making some kind of scene, started to talk. It had been a while since the group had gotten together without soccer being the center of attention, and the conversation quickly turned to memories in Boston and how much they all wished they could take another trip before school starts. Tobin wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, she was too busy making faces at Lindsey who was making faces back at her, until her smile fell. Tobin turned to see Sam and Alex walking up to the group.  
   
Lindsey leaned over to whisper in Tobin’s ear, “Did they come together?”  
   
“I don’t know,” Tobin shrugged, “Kind of looks like it.”  
   
In the moment Lindsey’s demeanor changed and Tobin could feel it. They may have only been hanging out for a few weeks, but Tobin felt like she could read the other midfielder like the back of her hand now. Lindsey held all her emotions on the inside, but you could see them if you knew how to look. The face she was wearing now was the same face she had when they had talked about Sam and Alex a couple days after they got back from Boston. The whole situation was bothering her, but she was trying not to let it get her down. Sam and Alex didn’t seem like they were together when they played soccer, they talked, whispered to each other sometimes, but they never drove together, this was the first time they ever arrived to the same place at the same time. Tobin hoped it was a coincidence, for Lindsey sake.  
   
“Hey guys,” Alex said in a happy tone.  
   
“Finally, let’s eat wings.” Meghan exaggerated, moving towards the entrance.  
   
Morgan smiled a mothers smiles when their child says something inappropriate. “She’s super hungry.”  
   
“Yup, let’s get this show on the road.” Meghan swung the door open and headed inside.  
   
Everyone followed the shortest girl into the restaurant, Tobin was behind Christen and in front of Alex and Morgan who lagged behind just a bit.  
   
“Y’all come together?” Morgan asked under her breath.  
   
“Yeah,” Alex answered nonchalantly.  
   
There was the answer, and now Tobin felt like it was her job to make sure Lindsey was okay. The moment the normally happy go lucky girl found out that Alex and Sam might indeed be a thing was the moment she was going to start going downhill and as her friend Tobin wanted to make sure that didn’t happen.  
   
   
   
They all pushed two tables together to accommodate their large party and soon everyone was sitting around talking and laughing. The group of girls was kind of rowdy with Meghan telling jokes and Morgan having to reel her in whenever she would get out of hand. The new Tobin had jokes too, and she was sitting next to Lindsey which meant they got crazy pretty quickly causing Christen to take Tobin’s hand as a little reminder to keep calm. Soon the food came and the conversation continued only much quieter. As they all sat around telling stories about their past and trying to imagine what their future was going to look, Tobin couldn’t help but smile to herself. It wasn’t that things they were saying were necessarily funny, it was just funny to her that she was sitting here with a bunch of friends, and a girlfriend. How in the world did this happen? How in the world did she go from one friend watching the same movies every night hold up in her room dreaming of having a girlfriend, to sitting in a loud restaurant with a bunch of friends, and a beautiful girl holding her hand. The leaps and bounds she made over the past weeks was astonishing and made her smile, looking over to Meghan they shared a look that told her that her best friend had the same thought.  
   
The food was done and everyone was sitting around waiting for their checks. Sam got up to use the bathroom and the other girls did not hesitate to interrogate Alex.   
   
Christen watched Sam walk into the bathroom, and instantly leaned forward to talk to Alex, “So what’s the deal?” she asked with raised eyebrows.  
   
Alex shrugged taking a sip of her drink, “What are you talking about?”  
   
“Oh come on Lex,” Christen chuckled, “What’s the deal with you and Sam?”  
   
Tobin looked over to Lindsey who’s head was now lower than before, her eyes searching the for something to focus on.  
   
“We are hanging out.” Alex responded casually.  
   
“Yeah, but are you hanging out, or are you _hanging out_ ” Morgan asked wiggling her eyebrows.  
   
Alex shook her head, “We’re hanging out. Jeez, pry much you two.”  
   
“Okay, let them figure it out before we go and put labels on it.” Hope said quickly. She looked over to Lindsey who was starting to sink further in her seat, “Hey Tob, Kling, I heard your manager is a goal keeper, and shr plays pro in Europe.”  
   
Tobin knew what Hope was doing so she went along with it. “Yeah, Ash is awesome, she plays for FC Frankfurt.”  
   
“And when were you going to tell me this?” she huffed, “Don’t you think I would like to talk to her?”  
   
“Sorry Hope,” Tobin laughed, “You can come in anytime, Ash would love to talk keeper stuff with you.”  
   
With that Sam was back at the table and all the talk about relationships could end, it didn’t help how Lindsey felt though, and Tobin could feel the sadness coming off her.  
   
   
   
They all paid their checks and headed out standing around outside talking for a little bit longer. As much fun as Tobin was having a hard time enjoying the group atmosphere when Lindsey was clearly so upset about Sam and Alex standing so close to each other. She wanted to say something, she wanted to ask what was going on between them, really clear things up so Lindsey wouldn’t have to question anymore, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, but she wanted to.  
   
As the conversations started to come to an end Lindsey pulled on Tobin’s arm, taking her away from the group. When they were far enough away she looked up at her with sad eyes, “You doing anything after this?”  
   
The correct response was ‘yes’ because she had something to do, but Tobin’s response was, “Why, what’s up?”  
   
Lindsey kicked at a pebble on the ground, “Just wanted to see if maybe you want to hang for a while, maybe go kick around.”  
   
The correct response was, ‘sorry I can’t I have a date planned with my girlfriend’ but Tobin saw the look in her friends face, and there was no way she was going to be okay by herself so she responded, “Yeah we can hang, just let me tell Chris.”  
   
“Thanks dude.” Lindsey responded with a half-smile.  
   
Now her heart was pounding, she was about to go do something that she knew she shouldn’t. This was not the time to cancel on Christen, but there was nothing else to do when her friend was in distress, she said a silent prayer that Christen would be understanding. She tapped her girlfriend shoulder and gave her best ‘I’m sorry’ smile when she turned around.  
   
“Um…” Tobin started off, shoving her hands in her back pocket, “I was hoping you would be okay if I went to hang with Linds for a little bit. I mean, she’s kind of upset right now, and wants to talk, and I just thought it would be okay if we go kick around for an hour or so, and then I could pick you up and we can hang out after. She’s just really upset, and I know we’ve talked about this, but I don’t really want to let her go and…”  
   
“Go,” Christen said in a neutral tone.  
   
“You sure?” she asked eyes wide, “Because I can…”  
   
“Go, Tobin.” She said in the same tone. “I’ll talk to you later.”  
   
Tobin couldn’t tell if that was a good, ‘I’ll talk to you later’ or a bad one, Christen’s tone was too flat. This was probably going to be a mistake, but it was a chance she was going to have to take, for now. She could fix it with Christen later. She went over to Lindsey and let her know it was okay that they head out.  
   
   
Christen turned around, trying not to tear up. Hope saw the look on her face and went over to her before anyone else could notice how she looked.  
   
   
   
\--  
   
   
   
It was late so the park was dark, only a few street lights in the parking lot, so the two girls played closer to the parking lot. They weren’t really talking, just kind of kicking back and forth, Tobin was waiting for Lindsey to say something. She had never been in this situation before and had no idea what to do.  
   
“Why didn’t she pick me?” Lindsey said quietly.  
   
Tobin trapped the ball with her foot, “I don’t think she _picked_ Alex, I don’t think they are together.” She sent the ball back.  
   
“Yeah, but they are sleeping together.” She responded sending the ball back with one touch.  
   
There was no way for Tobin to know that so she just shrugged, “Maybe.”  
   
“What does Alex have that I don’t?” she cried.  
   
“Nothing,” Tobin juggled the ball a little before sending it back.  
   
“Then why didn’t Sam want to be with me? We’ve been friends for years, and I’ve told her how I felt before.”  
   
“Have you?” she questioned.  
   
Lindsey stopped the ball, “Well, I’ve made it known. I didn’t necessarily say it to her, but she knows.”  
   
“Maybe,” Tobin said not wanting to let her upset friend in on the information she received from Sam on the whole situation.  
   
“I just don’t get it.” She exclaimed, sitting down in the grass.  
   
Tobin went over at sat next to her, “I don’t either.”  
   
There was a moment of silence, Lindsey was rolling the ball from hand to hand looking out onto the field. Tobin knew why Sam didn’t want to be with Lindsey, but it scared her to tell her if she told Lindsey the truth about Sam maybe it would make the situation worse. Looking over to her friend, her face twisted up, Tobin thought about what she would want if this was her, she would want to know, she would want her friend to tell her everything.  
   
“I talked to Sam in Boston,” Tobin said.  
   
Lindsey turned her head quickly, “About me?”  
   
“Yeah,” Tobin took the ball from her, needing something to do with her hands, “She said she can’t let herself like you because you are going to be so far away, and she can’t do long distance.”  
   
“She really said that?” her voice was soft, almost a whisper.  
   
Tobin nodded, “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you dude.”  
   
“I can’t believe that’s the only reason she doesn’t want to be with me.” She laid back on the grass, putting her hands behind her head, “I should have went to California.”  
   
“You could have gone to California?” Tobin asked.  
   
She laughed a little, “Yeah, St. Mary’s offered me an athletic scholarship. My grades were kind of shit in high school, but they were offering to put me on academic probation for the first semester. I thought about it a lot. I would be like five hours from UCLA, five hours from Sam.” She paused looking up into the dark sky, “When PSG called and gave me a tryout, I couldn’t say no, so I flew to France, and they offered me a contract. I kept thinking, I could go to college,  I could play division one soccer, I could be only a few hours drive from Sam, we could be together.”  
   
“What happened?” Tobin asked laying down next to her friend.  
   
“Hope,” Lindsey said with a chuckled, “She told me I would be crazy not to go pro. She knows me, she knows how I am with school and all that responsibility crap. The reason my grades were so horrible was because I was focused on soccer, that’s all I thought about, that’s all I cared about, soccer and Sam. If I went to St. Mary’s, if I had a chance to drive and see Sam every weekend, if I had a chance to play soccer than that’s all I would do. I would let my grades slip, I would lose my scholarship and maybe PSG wouldn’t want me anymore.”  
   
“So you said yes to PSG.” Tobin stated.  
   
Lindsey nodded even though she knew her friend couldn’t see it, “I said yes, and because of that Sam doesn’t want to be with me.” She took a deep breath, “But Alex will be a few hours away. Alex will be at Berkeley, she can go see Sam on weekends.”

“You don’t know that’s what’s going to happen,” Tobin said quickly, stopping the rant, “You don’t know they are together.”

She shook her head. “They might as well be, I mean, come on. They can be together, and I’ll be in France, alone…. Unless.”  
   
Tobin squeezed the ball in her hands, “Unless what?”  
   
“You come with me.” Lindsey sat up, “Jeez I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Tobin you should go to France.”  
   
Tobin sat up, “And do what? Watch you play? Dude, come on.”  
   
“No, you should play,” She said stealing the ball from Tobin. “Dude, all I did to get a tryout was send in my tape. I emailed my highlight tape and some games to a bunch of places and PSG responded. I flew to France had a tryout and they offered me a contract. You can do that too. Tobin your skill is off the charts, I dare even say you might be as good as me, there is no way they won’t give you a tryout, and when you blow them away they’ll offer you a contract.”  
   
Tobin started to laugh, “No way. I can’t do that, I can’t go to France. PSG doesn’t want me.”  
   
“Have you ever sent them your tape?” she asked with raised eyebrows.  
   
“Well no, but…”  
   
“But nothing, Tobin, the only reason they don’t know how good you are is because you haven’t shown them.” She threw the ball at her friend, “Tell me you have a tape.”  
   
Tobin nodded, she made a highlight tape before she got her scholarship. Her parents taped every game she played and she had all her stats up on a spreadsheet. She did look really great on paper, that was one of the reasons she got a full ride, but she never thought about sending the tape to anyone. UNC approached her, it was one of the schools she had always thought about, but she didn’t really seek them out, they came to talk to her and offered her a full ride, and she didn’t even think about going pro, college was her next step. But maybe she could have gone pro, maybe she could go to France, maybe she was good enough.  
   
“I can’t do that, dude.” She said the idea still forming in her head, but her hesitation was keeping it from being a full idea, “I have to go to college.”  
   
“Why?” Lindsey asked loudly, “You can take online courses, get your degree that way. Go to France and play for a season, then get picked up by the NWSL. After that US Soccer will want you for the U-21 team, then they see how bitchen you are, with me by your side of course, and then we get called up to the national team and we are at world cup 2023. Who knows bro, maybe we will kick so much ass we can be at 2019 in France. You and me. Tobin you can go to France, you can play and I can hang out all the time, be the fucking dream team. Tobin And Lindsey Against France.”  
   
Tobin started to crack up, “There’s just no way, I can’t.”  
   
“Why, give me one good reason.”  
   
There was only one good reason why, “Christen...” she said in one breath, “I love her.”  
   
“Yeah, well I love Sam.” She stated coldly, “See how that worked out.”

“I wouldn’t give up on Sam,” Tobin said in a soft voice.

“I’m not giving up, I’m just not letting myself get sucked in to having hope for something that seems pretty hopeless.”

“Sounds like giving up to me.”

Lindsey gave a half smile, “Don’t change the subject. You should send your tape to PSG.”

Tobin stole the ball back and tossed it in the air, “I’ll think about it,” she said catching the ball, “how about that?”

“Fair enough,” Lindsey agreed. “Let’s go kick around for a little longer.”  
   
Tobin hopped up, “Hey, I hate to do this now, you know kick you while you’re down and all that, but… I can’t go to the party Friday.”

Her eyes got big, “Why not?”

“Chris needs me to spend more time with her,” Tobin shrugged, “Honestly I have been kind of neglecting that particular part of being a girlfriend.” She answered honestly, “Just take JJ, she’s single, she’ll be a good wingman.”

“Fine,” she said dropping the ball and catching it on her foot, “But only if you can score on me.”

She let out a loud laugh, “If that’s the rule, I’ll never have to be your wingman ever again.” She rushed after her friend who started to run onto the field, “Let’s go scaredy cat!”  
   
   
They spent another half hour on the field before they both got tired. Tobin was dropped off at her car and Lindsey headed home. The thought of sending her tape out to the French team was swimming around in her head. The first thing she did when she got home was text Christen but she didn't get a response. It wasn't too late, but they had a long day at work and Tobin assumed Christen went to hang out with the others after dinner so she probably had a long night, and was asleep by now, after all she did have work in the morning.  
   
She walked in her house as quietly as she could, she had too much on her mind to talk to anyone right now. She shut the door to her room, and checked her phone one more time just in case Christen texted her, but the only message she got was from Lindsey who sent her a picture of the Eiffel Tower, she texted back a smiley face and plopped down on her bed, ready to sleep.  
   
Her eyes were closed, but her mind was still going, the thought of going to France still turning into her head, still trying to twist its way into a half plausible idea. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep until she did some research, so she took out her computer and started reading up on eligibility, and how exactly to get a tryout. After a few hours of research she figured she might as well take a look at the video she made of herself playing and see if it was any good. As she watched herself run across the field sending cross after cross, the idea of going pro started to not sound so insane after all.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
   
Tobin woke up to her alarm, it was time for her to go to church, but she had stayed up to almost three in the morning tweaking her video until she thought it was worthy of sending out. She turned off her alarm and laid her head back down on her pillow, there was no way she was going to be able to focus in church. She took out her phone, hoping to see a good morning text from Christen, but she didn’t have any messages. Normally Christen would text her as soon as she got up for work, and then again when she got to work, but not today. She set her phone back down on the nightstand and went back to sleep.  
   
   
She woke up a few hours later, her stomach forcing her awake so she could eat. She looked at her phone, but there were no messages. It was past lunch time and Christen still hadn’t checked in. Something was wrong, so Tobin texted her.  
   
 **Tobin:** You okay?  
   
She went downstairs with her computer, made a giant omelet, then sat down on the couch and watched her video again. Could she really go pro? Could she really fly to France and live there and play soccer for real? Could she really leave everything behind? Could she deny her scholarship, leave her best friend, leave her girlfriend, and fly to a foreign country? Could she really do this? Lindsey’s words were replaying in her head, France for a year, NWSL next year, U-21 the next year, and the national team in time to play in the World Cup in 2023. That was the dream, that was her dream since she could even think of having a dream, and she could have a chance. Right?  
   
Before she could make herself even more nervous she needed someone else to see her video, to give her a little perspective on the whole thing. She texted Lindsey to come over and check it out. An hour later the two girls were sitting on her bed Lindsey was watching the video, while Tobin looked on anxiously.  
   
"This is awesome Tobs, you should send this out." Lindsey said rewinding the video to watch a particularly great play, "Look at that, there's no way they won't give you a try out."  
   
Tobin laid back against her head board, "I don't know, I mean, I just don't think I can go to France."  
   
"Dude I know how scary the thought is, I know it means leaving a lot behind, but the pros outweigh the cons." She turned to look at her, "It’s a professional team, playing soccer for money before your 20, not everyone can say they did that."  
   
"It would be pretty cool," she said letting herself dream a bit, "But my family, school, Meghan and Chris." She grabbed her phone and looked at it, "Who hasn't texted me back all day."  
   
"She mad at you?"   
   
Tobin threw her phone on the bed, "probably."  
   
"She's mad at you a lot," Lindsey said.  
   
"Lately yeah, I guess I've been screwing up a lot." She let out a huge breath and covered her eyes with her hand, "I'm not really sure what to do."  
   
"It'll be alright Tobs," she slapped her hand down on Tobin's knee, "Chris is pretty crazy about you."  
   
"Hopefully she's crazy enough to stay with me." She shook her head.  
   
Lindsey laughed, "If not, come to France."  
   
"You're not going to let this go are you?" She said sitting up on the bed.  
   
"Nah, definitely not," She chuckled.  
   
Tobin looked over at her video, it was still playing, a game from last year one where she nutmegged two girls in the span of fifteen minutes. Maybe she was good enough to make a team, maybe she was good enough to be a pro. There was only one way to find out.   
   
"Fine, but if I'm sending it out to all the pro teams, it's not just going to France, I'm going all out."   
   
Lindsey popped up, "Seriously?"  
   
Tobin grabbed the computer opening her email, "Yeah, why not? I should at least see if they want me, see if I'm good enough, I don't have to go, if I decide that I don’t want to. I can always say thanks, but no thanks, right? But there’s no harm in finding out if I’m good enough."  
   
"True, you can always say no," Lindsey reassured her, "though you'd be crazy to say no."  
   
They spent the next few hours sending out her video to every team in every country that they could find a submission email for. It was a little chilling, putting herself out there, letting hundreds of people watch her play, scrutinize her in a way she hadn't been before. Playing at home, in her state was one thing, but letting the world see it was a whole other. It didn't matter in the long run, there was no way she was going to get a response, at least that's what she told herself, that's how she justified not feeling guilty about not talking to anyone about it.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
   
When they were finally done sending out all the emails, it was time for the game. Tobin hadn't heard from Christen all day, not a single response to multiple texts she sent off, her girlfriend was obviously pissed at her, and it was time for her to face the music.  
   
They parked in the lot overlooking the field, Christen was with everyone else getting ready to play. Tobin slung her bag over her shoulder gave one last look to Lindsey before heading down to hear what Christen had to say.  
   
"Hey," Tobin greeted, putting her bag down, "Haven’t heard from you all day."  
   
"I've been busy," Christen responded.  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows, "Too busy to let me know if you were alright."  
   
"I'm fine Tobin," she said with some bite, "I was at work.” Her tone was harsh, almost mean, she was pissed and there was no way around it. 

Tobin lowered her head, she wasn't going to get through to her right now. "Okay, I'm sorry. We can talk after the game."  
   
"Yeah, sure." She shrugged then ran out onto the field.  
   
   
The teams were split up, Christen and Alex were captains and Christen had first pick, she didn't pick Tobin. Alex picked Sam first which Lindsey shook her head at. Tobin waited for her girlfriend to choose her but she was passed over once again. After Christen picked three players before Tobin, Alex finally chose her, realizing the whole game would go on for a while if she didn't, and the sad look on Tobin’s face was kind of breaking her heart.  
   
 _So that's how it is._ Tobin thought as she took her spot on the field, opposite her girlfriend, opposite her best friend, but in line with her new favorite midfielder. If Christen was going to be a jerk to her, than she was going to be a jerk back, two could play it that game, and with Lindsey on her side, the game was hers to win.  
   
It started off with Tobin splitting the defenders, taking the ball up the field to cross to Alex who fired it into the back of the net. The ball was reset and Tobin ran past everyone on the other team, crossed it to Lindsey who carried it down field to Tobin who only took two touches to get it in the back of the net. The next goal was all Tobin, who nutmegged Becky and sent the ball into the high left corner.  
   
"Are you going to pass the ball tonight?" Christen shouted across the field.  
   
Tobin shrugged and jogged back to her starting position.  
   
If Christen wanted to see the ball passed, than that's exactly what Tobin was going to do. She took the ball halfway down field and sent it to Lindsey who trapped it and took it the other half of the field where Alex sent it into the net. Tobin could pass and she could pass well.  
   
The tension was heavy in the air, no one was really talking, and everyone was watching Tobin as she made the defenders look silly. The other team only got a few touches, before the aggressive midfielder was up the line and taking the ball back. The game wasn't fun, it was almost scary the way Tobin played, the look on her face, the anger pouring off her. Meghan tried to talk to her, tried to settle her down but there was no stopping her, Tobin was on fire and it wasn't good.  
   
It was the fifth goal that made Christen finally snap. She ran over to Tobin grabbing her arm and making her turn to face her. ”What’s your problem?"  
   
"Nothing," she tried to jog away but Christen grabbed her arm again.  
   
"Why are you playing like an ass hole?" She yelled at her.  
   
Tobin wasn't looking at her, "I'm not. I'm just playing."  
   
"No you're being a jerk." She snapped.  
   
"I'm being a jerk?" She questioned angrily, "Says the person who hasn't talked to me all day for no reason."  
   
"No reason?" She yelled, "I'm fucking pissed at you Tobin."  
   
"Why?" She threw her hands in the air, "What did I do this time?"  
   
"This time?” She shook her head. "How about you going to hang out with your friends, again, after I just talked to you about it, after you just promised you wouldn’t do that."  
   
Tobin swung her arms out, "I was trying to be there for my friend. She needed me."  
   
"And I didn't need you?"   
   
"I don't know," she said with a snarky laugh, "Did you?"  
   
"That's not the point."  
   
"Then what is the point?"  
   
Christen put her hands on her hips and lowered her voice, "The point is to care about me."  
   
"You think I don't care about you?" She moved closer, no longer shouting, "You really think I don't care about you?"  
   
Christen looked in those deep brown eyes, she knew the real answer to that question, she knew Tobin cared about her, but she was angry, she was beyond angry. "It doesn't feel like it."  
   
The words cut deep making Tobin’s heart pound in her chest. She looked away, there was no way for her to look at Christen's eyes when she felt like she was about to cry. She couldn't cry, she couldn't break down in front of everyone, so she walked away.  
   
Lindsey was the first one to run over to Tobin, "You wanna get out of here?"  
   
"Yeah," Tobin answered, her voice choked in her throat.  
   
As they headed towards the cars Tobin heard her best friend call after her, she turned to see Meghan jogging to her.  
   
"Don't go," she whispered. She got as close to Tobin as she could, "You have to talk to her, you have to fix this, don't walk away."  
   
Tobin looked over to the field, Christen was standing with her back turned away. There was no fixing this, not now. She turned back and got in the car.  
   
   
The car sped away, the sound of the tires screeching as Lindsey burned out as quickly as she could hit Christen in the chest causing the first round of tears to fall down her cheeks. She felt and arm around her shoulders, Hope was pulling her in for a hug, then Alex was leading them both towards the parking lot, Morgan was running behind them. Christen could hear Morgan tell Meghan to find Tobin, Alex directing Sam to help her, but she didn't have enough energy to tell them not to, she didn't want to see Tobin right now, she didn't want Tobin to see her cry.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
   
“This is so stupid!" Tobin said, throwing her bag on the ground.

They were at Lindsey's house, there was no where else to go. Tobin couldn't be this angry at her house, and Meghan's place was off limits. She didn't want to talk to her best friend right now, the only thing Meghan was going to tell her was to talk to Christen, and that was something she couldn't do. She spent the entire drive in silence, trying to stop herself from crying. A few tears escaped, and her breath was ragged, but Lindsey kept quiet, waited for her friend to speak before she said anything. 

Lindsey's house was empty, her mom and step dad were out for the night. They walked into the kitchen Lindsey looking in the refrigerator for something to eat.

"I can't believe she is being like this," Tobin said lifting herself up to sit on the counter, "I mean, she really thinks I don't care about her."

"She's just pissed, dude," Lindsey said as she ate a piece of cold pizza, "Give her the night to cool off, then go talk to her."

Tobin leaned her head back knocking it against the cabinet, "Yeah, I guess." she hit her head again, "I just don't know what I am doing. I don't know how the hell to be a girlfriend, and it seems like I keep screwing it all up."

Lindsey watched as Tobin knocked her head against the wooden cabinet a few more times. She looked up on the refrigerator and saw the bottle of whiskey, she didn’t drink a lot, but when she did it was because she was pissed off and needed to calm down, and Tobin was pissed and needed to calm down. She took it down, taking off the top and taking a drink, then handed it over to Tobin.

"Here, take a shot,” she told her holding the bottle out between them.

“I don’t know,” Tobin said looking at the bottle apprehensively.

Lindsey took a step towards her, pushing the bottle into her hand, “Dude, trust me, you just need to calm down a bit, this will help.”

Tobin took the bottle, gripping the neck in her hand, “Your parents won’t care?”

“My step dad owns a bar, he has more of this stuff then he knows what to do with, and my mom doesn’t care about anything I do,” she had a smile in her face when she said this, but her tone was sad, “The only reason I am here is because she doesn’t want me to be with my dad. Just like the only reason I go to my dads is because he doesn’t want me to be with her.” She looked down at the tile floor swinging her leg for a few minutes of silent reflection. Looking back at Tobin, she tapped the bottle with her knuckle, “Take a drink, it’ll be okay.”

The bottle was three quarters full, the brown liquid inside looking familiar, not the same stuff she drank at the party, the label on this bottle was purple, not black, but it said whiskey, and she liked whiskey. She lifted the bottle close to her mouth, looking over to Lindsey who smiled and gave her a nod. She took a quick drink, it burned sliding down her throat, but the taste wasn’t as bad as she was expecting. 

Lindsey took the bottle from her friend, taking another big drink. “You know the best thing about going pro?” She saw Tobin shake her head. “I won’t ever have to come back here, or go to my dads. I’ll be in France on my own, and I won’t have to talk to either of them again.” She took another drink. 

Tobin watched as she laughed a little to herself, then push the bottle back. She took the bottle and took another drink, this one bigger than the last. “You don’t like your parents?”

“No,” she said throwing her head back laughing, “Do you like yours?”

“Well, yeah.” Tobin said not really thinking about the question, “My dad is really cool, well, he’s quiet, we talk sometimes, but it’s never anything crazy, which is what I like. My mom.” She shook her head, “She can be a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

She took another drink, “She’s just always on me to be… Normal… I guess.”

“You’re normal,” Lindsey chuckled, “I mean you’re not, but it’s cool, you know.”

“I guess,” Tobin laughed passing the bottle back to her friend, “She just want’s me to be like, cool and popular and have all these friends, and a hot boyfriend, like my sisters.”

“You have lots of friends, and a hot girlfriend… you know, when she’s not pissed at you.” Lindsey laughed.

Tobin lowered her head, “They don’t know about Chris… They don’t know I’m gay.”

“How?” Lindsey asked wide eyed, “I mean no offense, but it’s pretty obvious.”

She leaned back hitting her head on the cabinet again, “My parents are Catholics.”

“Oh.” Lindsey said taking another drink, “So they have no idea about all this stuff?”

“Nope,” she lowered her head to look at her friend, “That’s why I was looking forward to college. I was ready to go and finally be myself, not have to hide anything. I was going to be free. And then Christen walked into my life, and everything got a million times better. I was going to college and I had a girlfriend, a hot one, a hot one that plays soccer. How lucky am I?”

“Pretty lucky,” Lindsey said with a big smile. 

“But I’m screwing it all up.” She grabbed the bottle from Lindsey’s hand and took another drink, the liquid starting to warm her insides, “I’m screwing everything up.”

Lindsey watched her face fall, a sadness she had never seen before creeping on Tobin’s face. “You’re not screwing it up Tobs, you jus got to give it time. Christen is not going to break up with you, she wouldn’t, she loves you.”

“I really hope so.” She passed the bottle back, “you know I haven’t even told her that yet.”

“Told her what?”

She looked down at her hands tossing one in the other, “That I love her.”

“Pretty sure she knows, dude.” Lindsey laughed slapping her hand on Tobin’s leg, “Now, let’s add some coke to this whiskey and go sit outside.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tobin hopped down off the counter. 

They grabbed two glasses and a two liter bottle of coke and went to the back yard and sat out on the deck steps. They started to talk about their lives, their past, and everything that happened to them. Tobin learned that Lindsey went to four different schools because of her parent’s divorce. They moved her back and fourth trying to get custody of her just to spite each other. She was an only child, and the only thing she knew about family was how to be leverage. Finally in middle school her grandparents took guardianship of her for the school year, but she went to her dads for two weeks in the winter, and her moms for two weeks in the summer before she went to soccer camp. She never really had friends, she just never clicked with anyone at her any of her schools, but it didn’t matter, she had soccer. 

Tobin told her all about school, about never having anyone but Meghan for her entire school life. She told her about the bus rides sitting in front while everyone else had fun in the back. She confessed to being a little obsessed with Alex, and about the kiss they shared on their first date, her first ever date, before she realized she wanted to be with Christen. She told her all about her family, her sisters, getting closer to Perry over the summer. She talked about her mom, how she always felt like she was disappointing her, how she never really felt good enough. 

By the time they were done, they could hear the birds starting to wake up for the morning. The sun hadn’t come up yet, but it was on it’s way. Both bottles, the coke and the whiskey were gone, they had switched to water over an hour ago. As Tobin let out what seemed like her hundredth yawn of the night, they headed up to Lindsey’s room and passed out. 

 

—

 

Tobin was woken up by her phone ringing. She opened her eyes, the room was almost pitch black except a sliver of light showing through the blinds. She grabbed for her phone and clicked talk without looking at the number. 

“Hello,” she croaked out. 

“Hello, I am looking for Tobin Heath.” A woman’s voice said on the other end. 

Tobin rubbed her eyes with her hand, “Yes, that’s me.” Her voice was scratchy. 

“Hi, my name is Laura Montgomery with Glasgow City Football Club , how are you today Ms. Heath?”

Tobin shook her head, it was pounding from a night of drinking, “I’m sorry this is who?”

“Laura Montgomery with Glasgow City FC.” Her voice was a little low, and her accent was thick, “I was calling about the video you sent.”

Tobin popped up in the bed, reaching behind her to smack Lindsey, who groaned, “Dude wake up.” Tobin whispered pushing the sleeping girl. 

Lindsey turned in the bed, “What do you want? Go back to sleep.”

“Dude wake up, now!” She said a little louder. She put her phone on speaker, “You watched my video?”

Lindsey sat up at that sentence, “Is that…”

Tobin hushed her.

“Yes, we watched your video yesterday, and I wanted to give you a call. We are very interested in you Ms. Heath.”

“Really, I mean I’m actually a really big fan.” She laughed a little the nerves starting to creep up on her. “I’m shocked you guys are calling me.”

“That tape was really something Ms. Heath. You are an amazing young midfielder. The team is hoping you’d like to come to Glasgow and have a tryout?”

“Wait what?” Tobin asked running her hands through her hair, “You want me to come to Scotland, to try out for the team, to play soccer professionally?”

The woman laughed sweetly, “Yes we do. That was the point of you sending us the tape, wasn’t it now?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” Tobin said quickly, “Yeah that was the whole point. Sorry, I’m just so shocked, I never thought I would get a call, I mean I thought maybe, but I never thought…” Lindsey smacked her on the arm, stopping her from falling into a rant, “I mean, uh, yeah, um, when?”

“The team will all be together in two weeks, that would be the best time, that way we can see you with the entire squad. We can schedule you a flight, get you a place to stay in the city and you can spend a few days on the pitch with the girls, see if the orange and black fits you. How’s that sound?”

Tobin looked over to her friend, she didn’t know what to say, her words were stuck in her mouth. Lindsey punched her in the arm, nodding her head an pointing to the phone.

“Uh, yeah, okay, I’ll come to Scotland,” Tobin said without thinking. 

“Brilliant,” the women said excitedly, “I will have my assistant email you some details and we can work it all out.”

“Perfect.” Tobin said trying to hold back her excitement. 

“Okay, Ms. Heath, we are looking forward to seeing you in Glasgow. Have a great morning.”

“Thanks, you have a great morning, or night, or afternoon, I’m not sure the time difference, but have a great time.” She shook her head at how crazy she sounded. 

“Thank you, bye now.”

“Byebye.” 

She hit the off button on her phone, holding her breath until she saw her lock screen. She turned to Lindsey and started to scream, her friend screaming along with her. 

“Holy shit dude,” Lindsey yelled, “you just got a tryout.”

“Holy shit, I did.” Tobin laughed, “I can’t believe this.” She jumped off the bed, “I got a tryout, for a professional team.” She put her hands on her head and spun around, “This can’t be real. This isn’t real. Is it?”

Lindsey jumped out of bed, “It’s real bro. You did it. You’re going pro.”

“It’s just a tryout, I haven’t done anything yet.” She said trying to calm herself down. “I still have to go over there, they could still say no.”

“Dude, the tryout is just a formality. They called you back within a day.” She said with confidence, “Glasgow City is a small club, but it’s practically a grooming team for the Scottish National team, I mean they kick ass, they’ve been the Scottish Women’s Premier League champions for ten years. I watch some of their friendlies with the some of the other European leagues, and they always kick ass. And I know they are looking for new talent, trying to make a name for themselves on an international level, trying to get eyes on them. No team calls you back in a day that’s ‘just looking for a tryout’ They could have emailed you and told you to come to the next open tryouts, they are flying you in to the UK for free just to see you play. Dude, you’ve got the spot. You’re going to play for GCFC.”

The words smacked her in the face, she sat down on the bed. If Lindsey was right, she practically just agreed to fly off and be a professional soccer player, and she did it all without talking to anyone. She needed to tell someone, right? There was no way to just fly off to Scotland without telling her parents, she was eighteen and didn’t need their permission, but at least their opinion, right? She had to tell Meghan, they were best friends, they gave each other advice on everything, Meghan needed to know, right? Christen! She had to tell her girlfriend, she had to tell her that she could not be at school with her, she could be living an ocean away, she had to let her know they would be in a long distance relationship, right?

She looked down at her phone, they little red dot by her message app, people had been texting her all night. 

**Meghan:** Where are you?  
 **Meghan:** You need to call Chris, fix this.  
 **Alex:** Call Christen.  
 **Hope:** Where are you?  
 **Morgan:** Where are you?  
 **Meghan:** Dude, where are you?  
 **Hope:** It would be a good idea if you called your girlfriend.   
**Alex:** You need to call Chris, now!  
 **Meghan:** I can’t believe you are doing this.  
 **Morgan:** T, you can fix this, just call her.  
 **Meghan:** I just talked to Moe, she said Chris is pissed off!! Call her!! Now!!  
 **Meghan:** Dude, you need to call your girlfriend. You need to apologize.   
**Hope:** I know you’re upset, but you need to talk to her. Please call her.  
 **Meghan** Dude, this is getting ridiculous. Call her!!  
 **Meghan** Fine if you want to be stubborn, then be that way!

Tobin clicked out of the messages throwing her phone on the bed. She leaned over putting her face in her hands. “My head is pounding.”

“You just need food, and liquids,” Lindsey said patting her on the back, “Come on, let’s go get some food, talk about how we are going to hang out in Europe.”

The messages were playing in her head, everyone was blaming her for this, telling her to apologize, to call and talk, but if Christen wanted to talk to her so bad, why didn’t she call. It was obvious that everyone was turning on her, making her out to be the bad guy, when they whole thing was blown out of proportion. Christen was upset, yes, but it wasn’t entirely her fault, some of the blame was on Christen too, but no one seemed to see that. Everything was falling apart around her, everything but Lindsey and soccer. 

She looked up at her friend and smiled, “Let’s go get pancakes.”

“Fuck yeah dude,” Lindsey called out. 

 

—

 

A few hours, and three stacks of pancakes each, they ended up at Tobin’s house, laying on her bed napping. Tobin had turned her phone on silent, it was still early, but soon everyone else would probably be blowing up her phone, telling her to call Christen, and she just didn’t want to do that, not yet, the food may have helped, but her head was still pounding and her body felt a little destroyed so she needed sleep and some time to just think. 

 

When she woke up Lindsey was on her phone. “What are you doing?” She asked with a yawn.

Lindsey looked over to her and smiled, “Dude, they flights from Paris to Edinburgh is only like two hundred bucks.”

“Really?” She sat up and looked at the screen scanning the prices, “That’s pretty good.”

“Yeah it is,” she said happily, “The drive is super long, like an hour to Glasgow, but we can always meet up in London or something.”

“Yeah that would be cool.” She leaned back on her pillows, letting her mind fully wake up, “Plus I definitely want to see France, so I’ll go there all the time. Maybe we can even go to Italy, and Germany.”

“Dude, Amsterdam.” Lindsey exclaimed, “Oh and Spain, watch Barcelona play.”

“That sounds awesome.” 

She grabbed her phone and checked her messages:

**Meghan:** You’ve had the night to cool off, it’s time to call Chris.  
 **Alex:** Come on Tobin, call Chris, or at least let us know where you are.  
 **Meghan:** Dude, this is getting stupid. Call her.  
 **Morgan:** Text one of us back please.  
 **Meghan:** You’re being an ass hole.  
 **Alex:** Let someone know you’re okay.

She clicked on Alex’s name and texted her back.

**Tobin:** I’m fine.

It was a few seconds later when she got a response. 

**Alex:** Good. I’ll let everyone know.  
 **Alex:** Call Chris when you’re ready, talk it out. It’ll be okay.  
 **Alex:** Don’t let it go too long. The more time that passes the harder it will be to get through it. 

**Tobin:** Is she okay?  
 **Tobin:** You know, like as okay as she can be.

**Alex** She’s hurt, and upset, and confused, but she’s okay. Just talk to her.

**Tobin:** I will.

Lindsey looked over at her, “Everyone blowing up your phone?”

“Pretty much,” she gave a half smile as she leaned back on the bed. “They all want me to call Chris. Everyone is pretty much blaming me.” She wanted to tell her that Alex was being thoughtful, but she didn’t want to remind Lindsey of the reason she was drinking last night. She was about to say something when her phone started to buzz, texts pouring in. 

**Meghan:** You texted Lex?  
 **Meghan:** You leave with Lindsey, and you text Alex back.  
 **Meghan:** That’s fucked up. I’m your best friend.  
 **Meghan:** Chris was right, you’re too focused on your new friend to care about anyone else.  
 **Meghan:** Whatever.

This was the reason Tobin didn’t go to her best friend with all of this, the reason she was talking to Lindsey so much. Ever since Boston, her relationship with Meghan just felt off. The other girl had been taking everyone’s side but hers, it almost felt like she didn’t have a best friend anymore. They hardly ever saw each other, which was okay, they had girlfriends now, but when they did see each other Meghan was always focused on other things. They didn’t hang out alone anymore, they always had a group around them, and when they were alone, it felt strange, and now this. The whole situation with Christen was bad, and yeah Tobin caused the original problem, but she expected Meghan to at least be on her side, support her even though she might be wrong. Meghan was on Christen’s side, completely blaming her for everything, even though she didn’t know anything about it. 

Tobin shut her phone off, “What time is that party?”

Lindsey looked down at her watch, “It started like an hour ago, why? You wanna go now?”

“Yeah,” Tobin said with a quick nod, “Let’s go celebrate going pro.”

“Hell yeah!” She shouted giving her friend a quick high five. 

 

—

 

“How do I look?” Tobin asked standing in the middle of her room.

Lindsey turned and looked at her, “Fucking hot, dude.”

“It’s weird when you call me hot,” Tobin cracked up.

“Well, don’t ask if you don’t want the answer,” She laughed with her friend.

Tobin was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, black with rips up the leg showing off her tanned skin. She had on a plain white t-shirt, and a blue flannel left open (at Lindsey suggestion), with her converse, and of course a backwards snap back, and her glasses, because her eyes hurt from sleeping in her contacts last night. They said their goodnights to Tobin’s family before heading over to Lindsey house so she could change.

Lindsey through on a pair of light blue skinny jeans, a black long sleeved button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a pair of red and white converse. She grabbed her red National Team hat wearing it up with the bill high to off set her from Tobin’s classic backwards hat. 

“How do I look?” Lindsey asked holding her arms out from her side.

Tobin looked her up and down, “Hot.”

“See, it’s not weird.” Lindsey wiggled her eyebrows.

“I don’t know, felt a little dirty to say that,” She chuckled.

They headed downstairs, Lindsey grabbing another bottle of whiskey from the garage where her step dad kept cases of it. She handed the bottle over to Tobin.

“Take a shot, I need you to be on fire tonight,” she said with a wicked smile, “This girl is beyond hot and I need your A game.”

Tobin took the bottle, “I don’t have any other game.” She took a big swig from the bottle, wincing as she swallowed. 

Lindsey took the bottle and took a drink. “You sure you want to do this? I can just take you to Christen’s house.”

Christen had been radio silent all day, not a single text, something that was starting to piss her off. The whole problem could be solved by Tobin just texting, but for some reason she felt like she was way too far into this to cave now. If Christen wanted to talk, she would text. 

Reaching out and taking the bottle, Tobin took another drink, this one way bigger than the last, her tolerance for the taste growing with each drink. “Let’s go party, dude. I’ll talk to Chris in the morning, I just want to celebrate.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Lindsey smiled, taking another drink. “I’ll call the uber.”

 

The drive took thirty minutes, them asking the driver to play party music to get themselves pumped up. When the driver parked on the side of the road Tobin looked out to see a house all lit with lights, and some people standing around, it looked like the party was mostly in the backyard. She opened the car door and a wave of Latin music hit her, immediately all her tension and anxiety that she was building up was now melting away. 

They walked over to the house, stopping at the back gate to talk to a guy standing just outside. 

“Do you know Katie Johnson?” Lindsey asked with an apprehensive smile.

“Si,” the guy said opening the back door, “Esta allá.”

Lindsey gave him a quick nod, “Uh, gracious.”

The party was pretty huge, the entire backyard filled with people. They had the whole thing sectioned off well: food was on the deck with several tables filled with people speaking Spanish. Tobin looked over to see a bunch of people playing games, talking, pushing each other around and laughing. Off to the back there was a dance floor, with someone at a table with a laptop and a DJ controller. This was a real party. Tobin may have only been to one other party, but this was the real thing. Lights were strung up from the roof down to the top of the fence across the yard. The music was loud, the bass pounding, and for some reason Tobin felt… at home.

“Yo, there she is.” Lindsey said grabbing Tobin’s arm and nodding in the direction of the dance floor, “She’s even hotter in person.”

Tobin looked over to see the girl she was talking about. She saw a girl with light brown skin and brown hair with hints of honey mixed in. She was dancing, really well, moving her hips to the beat, smiling in between singing the words. She was in a pair of tight jeans, and a green tang top. If this was the girl Lindsey was trying to get, Tobin could see why she wanted a wingman, they girl was hot, no denying that.

“Well, let’s go talk to her,” Tobin said, talking louder to hear herself over the music. 

“Okay, I’ll text her, let her know we are here,” she said pulling out her phone.

They stood there while Lindsey texted the girl. Tobin looked around at the scene, everyone was smiling and having a good time. She wished she understood what everyone was saying, but some how not understanding made everything better, it added to the mystery of the place, made her feel like she was in a different world, no longer in New Jersey, and right now she was happy to be anywhere in the world but Trenton New Jersey. 

The girl on the dance floor took her phone out of her back pocket and looked at it, smiling after she read it. She turned to another girl on the dance floor and showed her the phone, saying something to her. The other girl looked at her apprehensively, shrugging her shoulders. The first girl put her hands on her shoulder and gave her a little shake, saying something else to her. Her friend smiled, and nodded her head, taking a drink of the beer she had in her hand. They both turned and looked around, until they saw Lindsey and Tobin across the yard. 

Lindsey looked over to Tobin, “Do I have cool Tobin right now?”

The two (three probably four) shots were starting to sink in, the music was playing and she wanted to move her feet. “Yeah, dude.”

There was no other time to think, to prep, to figure out what the hell was going on because the two girls were on them, and they were smiling and it was bright, and Tobin all of a sudden felt like a completely different person, a better person, a cooler person. 

“Hey,” The first girl said, “I’m so glad you made it.”

Lindsey gave her a shy smile, “Yeah me too.” She turned to Tobin, “This is my friend Tobin.” 

“Hi Tobin,” the girl said with a big smile, “I’m Katie.” She turned to her friend who was standing a little behind her, she reached over and grabbed her arm bringing her more forward, “This is my friend Sofia.”

“Hey,” Sofia said with a smile. 

Tobin nodded, “Hey, what’s up.”

“Do you guys want a drink?” Katie asked. 

Lindsey looked over to Tobin, who gave a small nod, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

They headed across the yard. Tobin watched Sofia as she walked. She was short, with long dark brown hair and light brown streaks through it. She looked over her shoulder at Tobin and smiled, her bright brown eyes shining against the twinkling lights hanging about them. She was in a pair of light grey jeans, that showed off the muscles in her legs as she walked, and a white sleeveless shirt that didn’t quite reach the hem of her jeans, allowing Tobin to see just a little bit of her lower back. She was hot… but that didn’t matter, Tobin was just there to be a wingman.

 

They walked past the three coolers sitting next to the fence and grabbed Corona’s, the two girls pushing lime wedges from the table into their bottles, before leading them to a spot a little away from the music so they could all talk. 

“So you guys play soccer, right?” Katie asked.

Lindsey took a drink of her beer, “Yeah, we both play.”

“What position?” Sofia asked, her voice was light and airy and sweet and Tobin liked it. 

“Midfield, both of us,” Tobin answered with a big grin. “But I am way better than her.”

“Yeah she wishes,” Lindsey stated giving her friend a little push, “She’s attacking, I’m more of a holding position, but I can score.”

Tobin chuckled at her friends cocky tone, “She can score, when I’m not on the field.” She looked over at Sofia who was smiling at her, “But I guess I can’t say she’s too bad, I mean she is going pro in a few weeks.”

“No way,” Katie exclaimed, “Who are you playing for?”

Lindsey lowered her head pretending to be embarrassed by the girl knowing the new information, “Paris, I’m going to play for PSG.”

“Damn, you must be good.” Katie said, leaning back a little and biting her bottom lip.

“What about you?” Sofia asked looking over to Tobin, “Are you going pro too, or college?”

Tobin thought for a minute how was she going to answer this question? She didn’t have any time to figure it out, Lindsey was answering for her. 

“She thinks she’s going to UNC in the fall,” Lindsey said wrapping her arm around Tobin’s shoulders, “But she has a tryout with Glasgow City in a few weeks, and she is getting signed.”

Sofia raised her eyebrows, “Wow, that’s really cool.”

Tobin blushed, “It’s not a done deal yet. I just have a tryout.”

“Ever modest,” Lindsey pulled her in closer, “She’s going pro.”

The thought started to creep back in her head, she could be going pro, and the only people who had any idea was Lindsey and now these two strangers. Her family didn’t know. Her best friend didn’t know. Her girlfriend didn’t know. 

_Christen…_

“That’s really cool,” Sofia said sweetly, “I’ll have to look out for you.”

“You two play, right?” Lindsey asked quickly. She looked over to Katie, “You’re a forward.”

Katie nodded, “Yeah, so is Sofia.”

Tobin looked over to the shorter girl, “You’re a forward, what side?”

“Whatever side get’s me on the field.” She told her with a bright smile, “I just want to play. I use to play center back, but I’m more comfortable up front.”

“I get that,” Tobin took a drink, trying not to focus on the fact that Sofia’s eyes were super brown, like a deep brown, and they sparkled a little bit, “I played back for a little while, but I was way better up front. Wing is just where I’m meant to be.”

The conversation continued and Tobin started to learn more about the girl in front of her. Sofia was from Idaho, in Jersey to hang out with Katie for a few weeks before going to Santa Clara for school. She was super energetic once you got her talking, which made Tobin talk even more. After her second beer Tobin was swaying in place, trying to stop herself from dancing, but it was pretty obvious where she wanted to be, and Sofia asked her to dance. 

“Can you dance to this kind of music?” Sofia asked as she watched Tobin moving in place. 

Tobin looked over to her and grinned, “Yeah I can. I don’t really understand what they are saying though, I took French in school.”

The shorter girl laughed, her head going back a little as she did. She had a nice laugh. “Yeah, I can understand it better than I can speak it, but I can dance better than I can understand it.” She gave her a little wink.

“Then let’s dance,” Tobin said with a cocky smile. 

They stepped on the dance floor, Mi Gente starting to blast through the speakers. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the dim lighting under the now dark sky, maybe it was everyone else on the dance floor moving around, whatever it was Tobin was on fire, lucky for her she had a great dance partner. Sofia had her hands on Tobin’s shoulders, moving her feet to the music, Tobin looked down, feeling the music as she moved. Looking up at her dance partner, all of it hit her all at once, Sofia was beautiful, like way more beautiful then she should be dancing with Tobin, but the alcohol said, _who the fuck cares_ and Tobin put her hands on Sofia’s hips, and continued to move to the music, the song, the liquor, the atmosphere taking over. 

Soon Lindsey was on the dance floor with Katie, they brought over shots, and Sofia and Tobin stopped dancing just enough to take the shots, tossing the plastic cups in the trash can and getting back to dancing, now Sofia had her back to Tobin, and the alcohol said: _¡Bailar!_ So Tobin wrapped her arms around Sofia’s hips pulling her in close, and continued to dance.

They danced for what seemed like forever the music turned from pop latin music to reggaton, which made Tobin dance harder, Sofia keeping up with her every move. They rarely broke apart, Tobin keeping her hands on her partners hips the entire time, allowing the girl to move in close. Tobin was intoxicated, but it wasn’t just the liquor, it was the music, it was the scene, it was Sofia who smelled like vanilla, and had soft skin and continued to move her hips against Tobin. This was the first time in Tobin’s life when she got to do this, she may have been to a party before, but it wasn’t like this, it wasn’t anywhere close to this. She had never danced with anyone like this, she had never had someone she just met move on her like this, hell no one had ever even looked at her they way the beautiful caramel skinned girl was looking at her. She had never felt this way, and she loved every second of it. 

The song started to end, and the DJ was mixing another song in when Sofia turned and put her arms on Tobin’s shoulders, moving in to whisper in her ear, “Let’s go sit, get a drink, I’m hot.”

Tobin nodded against her, “Yeah me too.”

They were both sweating, they had been dancing for over an hour with only one break, to take a shot. Sofia grabbed Tobin’s hand, and pulled her through the crowd. They went to the cooler, Sofia handing Tobin a beer, and grabbing one herself. They found Lindsey and Katie sitting at a table, talking in each other’s ears. Sofia, still holding onto Tobin’s hand, took her over. Tobin sat down, followed by Sofia who pulled her chair close to Tobin so their legs were touching. 

“You’re a really good dancer,” Sofia said after taking a long drink.

Tobin’s head felt fuzzy like she could take off and fly, but she was grounded by the leg touching hers, “Yeah, I took a dance class, and before you laugh at me, I did it for soccer.”

“You took a dance class?” she giggled a little, “Like ballet?”

“No, latin.” Tobin exclaimed, the alcohol starting to take over her speech, “I wanted to learn how to move my feet better, and when I went to the studio, they had a latin class going on, and when I saw it I was like, yeah, that’s dancing.”

Sofia nodded giving her a smile, “Actually makes sense.”

“I know,” Tobin responded proudly, “Works out on the field, and to impress the ladies.”

She cracked up, letting her head fall back a little, “You’re funny. I’m sure you have no problem with the ladies.”

Tobin started to blush, “You’d be surprised.”

“Well, you have no problem with this one,” she gave a quick wink before taking a sip of her beer.

_That was a wink! Tobin, she winked at you bro. She can’t wink at you. I mean she can, but she shouldn’t, or at least you shouldn’t accept the wink, if you can even accept one, I don’t know how to do that, but however you do it, you shouldn’t. Christen winks at you. Christen is the only one that can wink at you. This girl is hot. I mean look at her. NO! DON’T LOOK AT HER!! What I mean is, she is hot and she is into you and that is bad, because Christen is into you. Christen loves you. I mean, you don’t know that for sure, but you are pretty sure, because you love her too. So stop looking cute. Stop smiling at her. Stop talking to her all sweet and shit. You’re here to be a wingman, not to have super hot girls wink at you._

“So, I’m kind of sad you are going to Scotland in the fall.” Sofia said snapping Tobin out of her thoughts.”

Tobin looked over to her and smiled, “Why’s that?”

She leaned in, “Because it would be nice to keep you around for a while.”

Tobin blushed harder, lowering her head a bit, “Yeah it would.”

“But you’re here tonight,” she said looking over to Tobin with dark eyes, “I guess I’ll have to make the best of it.”

_Dude run! Get out of here!_

The alcohol rushed through her, “Yeah I guess so.”

 

They talked for a while, Katie and Lindsey broke apart from each other enough to engage in conversation with them. They all took another shot, Tobin’s brain officially turning into a hazy cloud of stupid thoughts, but that wasn’t enough for Lindsey who gave her another shot, and pushed another beer in her hand. It didn’t help that Sofia was sitting so close to her, and she smelled amazing, and had an incredibly gorgeous smile, and super brown eyes. Soon she was back on the dance floor, the beat of the music mixed with the liquor forcing her to move again. Sofia was on her more than before, her back to her, moving her ass against Tobin’s front, grinding against her, and Tobin’s hands traveling to her hips, under her shirt, feeling her tight muscles under her amazingly soft skin. 

The third song, Tobin felt her phone buzz in her pocket, she took it out to read the text. 

**Lindsey:** Headed upstairs, be back in 30… or 40 ;)

Tobin laughed, pushing her phone back in her pocket and focusing back on dancing. Sofia was still grinding on her, and Tobin had wrapped her arm around her midsection, her hand still just under her shirt, feeling her abs as she moved. The shorter girl leaned back, moving her hair to the side, and Tobin leaned forward, feeling the silky skin on her cheek. She was wrapped up in it all, she was wrapped up in a haze of alcohol and being wanted, but her brain was still firing enough to hit her with the hard thoughts. 

_Christen is going to leave you. You lost your girlfriend. You’re a fucking idiot._

Tobin shook her head trying to push the thought from her mind. 

_Hey stupid! HEY! STUPID! You’re going to lose your fucking girlfriend. Wake the fuck up!_

The song ended, and Tobin took a step back, breaking contact with the girl in front of her. 

“You okay?” Sofia asked, with a concerned look.

Tobin nodded, “Yeah, I just need to sit, maybe somewhere else.”

The shorter girl moved in closer, biting her bottom lip, “I know where we can go.”

Tobin felt the soft hand in hers. She felt herself being pulled away. She felt the cool air on her skin as she moved through the yard. She could feel her feet walking up the stairs of the deck. She felt the air get a little hotter as she was pulled inside. She felt the bang of the door as it shut behind her. She felt her feet move from a hard surface to a soft one, she was walking through the house. She could see Sofia in front of her. She could see her look back every few seconds, a smile on her face. She could see the inside of the dark house. She could see the stairs. And she stopped.

“What’s wrong.” Sofia asked, looking back at Tobin. 

Her head was buzzing, “Where we goin?”

“Upstairs,” she answered, moving closer to her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pulling her in close. 

Tobin could see her, she could see the spark in her eyes as she locked with them. She felt the arms around her neck, pulling her in closer. She could smell the vanilla that made her whole body set fire. She saw Sofia lean in… and Tobin pulled back.

“I need to be outside,” Tobin said quickly.

She turned around and found the front door pulling it open and stepping out onto the front porch. The stairs were right in front of her, she grabbed the railing and lowered herself down. She felt someone sit next to her, she turned her head, her brain moving slower than her body, to see Sofia looking confused. 

“Are you okay?” She asked in a sweet voice, “Did I do something wrong? I thought we were having fun.”

Tobin shook her head, but that made her feel a little sick so she decided to refrain from doing that again. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She finally responded after her brain stopped moving. “You’re really beautiful. Like crazy beautiful. Like super mega beautiful.” She saw a smile appear on the girls face. “I just cana do, whatcha want to do. I’ve got a girlfriend. At least… I think I do. She’s pissed ame.”

Sofia smiled, “Why is she mad at you?”

“Cause I’ma idiot.” Tobin said lowering her head. “She just wants ta see me. This face!” She said pointing to herself, “She wants ta see it. Why!? Who knows, but she wants ta, and I’ma dumbdumb.”

“You’re here dancing with me, instead of with her.” She stated, her voice was soft and kind. 

“Yup,” Tobin smiled, “See, dumbdumb.” 

She laughed a little, “Yeah, that’s pretty dumb.”

“I should call’er, huh?” Tobin slurred pulling out her phone, “Tell’er I love’er.”

“Yeah, you should.” Sofia answered sweetly. 

Tobin pulled up her contacts and pushed the call button on Christen. It rang twice before she got an answer. 

“Tobin, finally.” 

“Lex?” Tobin asked recognizing the scratchy voice.

“Yeah, where are you? We’ve been looking for you.”

“Where’s Chris?” Tobin asked her mind on one thing, “I need ta talk to’er.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Prolly.” Tobin answered with a little laugh, “Where’s Chris?”

“Jesus, Tobin you sound wasted.”

Tobin was about to answer when she heard Christen talking in the background. Then her girlfriend was on the phone. 

“Tobin? Are you drunk?” Christen's voice was strained.

“Uh, yeah,” Tobin said quickly, “Chris, I wanna talk to ya.”

“Where are you?” Christen cut her off. 

Her drunk brain realized she wasn’t going to get anywhere until she answered the question. “I’m at da party with Linds”

“You went to the party?” Christen asked her voice getting louder. “You know what, never mind, where is Lindsey?”

“Upstairs, with Katie.” Tobin said quickly. “I’m on da porch.”

“Is Lindsey drunk?”

Tobin started to laugh, “Yeah, bro, she drank more den me.”

“Jesus, where is the party.”

“Uhhh,” She looked around, not remembering where she was. She nodded towards Sofia, “Hey, uh donde esta this party?”

The other girl started to laugh, “Voorhees, or just outside.”

Tobin giggled as she answered, “Voorhees, apparently.”

Christen was speaking, but it was far away like the phone was away from her face. “Where is Voorhees?”

Alex answered, sounding far away, “Like thirty minutes south. Is that where she is?”

“Yes,” Christen answered frustratedly. 

“Tell her to drop a pin.” Alex shouted back. 

Christen talked back into the phone, “Tobin, drop a pin and we are coming to get you.”

“Drop a pin?” Tobin laughed. “How’d ya do that?

“Here,” Sofia said taking the phone from her. She clicked a few things then handed the phone back, “Just pick the contact you want to drop the pin to.”

Tobin looked down at her phone confused, then focused enough to hit Christen’s name. She put the phone back up to talk, “K, pin’s dropped. Sofia got it.”

“Who is Sofia?” Christen asked, her voice dropping.

Tobin didn’t hear the anger in her voice, she answered with a laugh, “Sofia! Bailamos!”

“Stay put,” Christen growled. “We will be there soon.” She hung up the phone. 

Tobin looked at her phone turn back to her lock screen. She looked over to Sofia, “She’s coming.”

“Good,” she answered happily, “So tell me about her.”

Tobin smiled as big as she could, “Her name is Chris, well Christen, but I call’er Chris. She’s perfect.”

 

—

 

“Christen, you need to calm down.” Alex said as she watched her friend fume in the back seat. “It’s Tobin, she’s just drunk.”

“Yeah, drunk and dancing with some puta named Sofia.” She said waving her hand in the air.

Alex smirked, it was the first time she had ever heard Christen say anything in Spanish. “Can Tobin even dance?”

“Surprisingly yes, Tobin is a great dancer.” She answered her tone softening a bit, “She’s actually really good at Latin dancing which means this girl was probably all over her.”

“I’m surprised by that,” She answered then saw the look on Christen’s face. “Not the point. Hey, girl if we need to kick some ass when we get there, I’m with you.”

“Please don’t get into a street fight,” Sam said quickly. 

Alex slapped her shoulder, “Support your friends.”

“I do, I just don’t want to fight.” Sam exclaimed. 

Alex shook her head, “Let’s see what this bitch looks like.” She took out her phone. 

“Why?” Christen asked.

“So we know we are punching the right girl.” 

She looked through her Instagram to find Lindsey’s feed. She found Katie’s page, showing her friends the girl Lindsey was with. Then she found Sofia’s page. “Aye dios, fucking mio!”

“What?” Christen said leaning forward in the car. 

Alex held her phone against her chest, “Maybe you shouldn’t look.”

“Lex, show me,” She said through gritted teeth. 

Alex looked over to Sam, who shrugged, then handed her phone over to Christen, who took it from out of her hands, her eyes locked on the screen. 

“Why?” Christen said quickly, “Why is she gorgeous?”

“She’s not _that_ pretty.” Alex responded. 

“Are you kidding me?” She showed her a picture of the girl on the beach, “She’s stupid hot.” She took the phone back and scrolled through again, “And she plays soccer. I’m going to kick her ass.”

“Fuck yeah!” Alex cheered, “I got your back gurl.”

“Oh Jesus,” Sam breathed out. 

 

—

 

Tobin sat on the porch talking to Sofia about Christen, getting some advice on how to fix everything. Lindsey eventually made it downstairs and was inside drinking some water talking to Katie as they all waited for the other girls to show up. The night was a surprisingly cool one for the New Jersey summer, and Tobin was feeling a little less drunk as she sat there. She was about to tell Sofia about wanting to stay in the states when she heard a voice call out. 

“¡Oye perra!” Christen charged over, her voice laced with anger, “¡Aléjate mi novia!”

Sofia stood up, “Que?”

Christen walked faster still yelling, “¡Me oya, aléjate mi novia, zorra!”

Tobin stood up, the liquor hitting her hard, “Chris.” She slurred out. 

“¡Siéntese!” she snapped, glaring over to Tobin, “¡Cállate!”

Tobin didn’t speak Spanish, but she understood that, and she understood the look, that felt like Christen was staring through her soul. She sat back down on the steps and looked up at her girlfriend.

Christen turned back to the girl, “Tú eres Sofía.”

“Si, perro mi español es no bueno.” Sofia said shaking her head a bit.

Taking a step closer, Christen was in her face, “Then I’ll say it to you in English. Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”

Before Sofia had a chance to respond, Lindsey walked out the house, “What’s going on?”

Christen looked up to her, “You don’t get to ask questions.” She looked down at Tobin frozen on the steps, “Get in the car, now.”

Tobin got up as fast as her drunk brain would allow, she didn’t speak, she was too afraid to speak, and she moved towards the car. She heard Christen yell something else in Spanish, then the angry girl was next to her in the car, and they drove off. 

 

—

 

Tobin sat in the car, it had been ten minutes since they took off. Her head was spinning, the lights of the street passing by in a blur. The car had been silent, Lindsey not wanting to talk to Sam or Alex, and Christen not wanting to say anything to Tobin. But drunk Tobin wanted to speak. 

“Chris…”

“Not right now,” Christen said in a low voice, her face not changing from the angry one she wore at the party, “Just be quiet Tobin.”

She put her head on the door, looking out the window. Those lights were going by super fast, almost to fast. The sway of the car as they drove around the curves. The smell of what she assumed was pizza in the car. And it was hot, so very hot. Her stomach did a flip. 

“Chris…” she blurted out.

“Not now Tobin,” Christen snapped.

“I’m gonna puke.” Tobin said, the feeling getting stronger. “Like now.”

“Shit roll down the window.” Sam yelled. 

Christen reacted quickly, leaning over Tobin hitting the window button. Tobin stuck her head out the window, and without any hesitation her stomach kicked up everything it had in it. 

 

The rest of the car ride was spent with the window down, the cool air blowing on her face. They finally arrived at Sam’s house, and they pulled Tobin out the car and dragged her to the door. Sam’s mom and step dad bought a house that originally had a rental property in the basement, and that’s where Sam was staying for the summer, so she had her on entrance, no one was disturbed by a clearly overly intoxicated Tobin, making groaning sounds as they dragged her into the house. 

Sam took her into the bathroom and set her down on the ground half laying on the toilet, where Tobin learned that her stomach still had something left in it, and it was ready to push it back out. She leaned over the her stomach cramping as she coughed out everything she had. She felt like her head was splitting open, and her lungs were on fire, she wanted to stop but her body wouldn’t stop. 

Eventually it was over, and Sam picked her up putting her in bed. 

“Okay Tobs, there’s a trash can right here, in case you need to puke again.” Sam said in a soothing tone. 

“Sammy,” Tobin cried out, “Sammy, you havta tell’er.”

Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, “Tell who what, Toby?”

“Chris,” Tobin slurred, half her face buried in the pillow, “Tell’er I’m na goin.”

“Going where?” Sam bent down to hear the whispered words. 

“Scotland,” Tobin muttered out, “I’m na gointa Scotland, cause I love’er.”

“Okay, Tobs.” Sam said rubbing her hand on her back, “It’s time for you to pass out now bud.”

“Tell’er Sammy,” Tobin said louder, “Tell’er I’m na gointa Scotland.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know.” She soothed. 

Tobin hurried her face further into the pillow, “Thanks buddy. I love ya.”

“Love you too, Tobs.”

Sam walked out the room, shutting off the light and closing over the door. Lindsey was laying on the couch her eyes half closed, Sam and Alex were standing in the little kitchen area whispering. 

“How is she?” Christen asked concerned. 

“She puke some more,” Sam huffed, running her hand through her hair, “But she’s asleep now.”

“Good,” She let out a breath. “I can’t believe she did this?”

Sam leaned against the counter, putting her arm around Alex, “Yeah, that was pretty crazy. She’s talking nonsense.”

“What did she say?” Alex asked. 

“She said she’s not going to Scotland,” Sam replied, laughing a bit. “She told me to tell you that.”

“She’s not going to Scotland?” Christen asked, a little above a whisper. 

“She better go!” Lindsey shouted. 

They all walked over to the half asleep girl. “What are you talking about?” Christen asked. 

Lindsey smiled, her eyes still closed, “GCFC!” She said raising her hand in the air. “GCFC!” She chanted again before letting her hand fall on her chest. “GCFC,” She whispered then chuckled after. 

Christen looked over to the other girls, “What’s GCFC?”

Alex took out her phone and typed the letters in, “Glasgow City FC, they are the reigning Scotland Women’s Premier League champs.”

“Yup!” Lindsey said happily, her eyes still closed, “And The Tobinator, is their new midfielder.”

Christen bent down, “Lindsey what the hell are you talking about.”

Finally she opened her eyes and smiled at Christen, “Tobs sent her tape to eevveeryone, and BAM she has a tryout, and she’s gonna make it. GCFC baby! Scotlands Champs.” She laughed a little then rolled over on the couch, “Goodnight guys.”

Christen stood up, “What the hell is going on?”

“I guess Tobin has a tryout for this team,” Alex answered not really sure what else to say. 

“How?” Christen asked, putting her hands on her head and starting to pace the room, “Since when? I don’t understand. How does she have a tryout, she’s going to UNC. She’s going to college, with me. How the hell is she going to Scotland?”

“Well, apparently she’s not going,” Sam chimed in. “She said she’s not going.”

“Why wouldn’t she go?” Christen asked, her mind instantly shifting from panicked girlfriend to concerned friend and soccer player, “She has a chance to go pro.”

“Yeah, but she said she’s not going,” Sam looked over to Alex with wide eyes, then back to Christen, “She say’s she loves you.”

“Wait, she’s not going because she loves me?” She looked over to the room Tobin was in.

Sam shrugged, “Yeah, that’s what she said. She told me to tell you she’s not going to Scotland because she loves you.”

Her anger instantly disappeared. Whatever Tobin did tonight would have to wait, right now all Christen could think about was the fact that her girlfriend had a chance to live her dream, to be a professional soccer player, and she was going to give it up to stay with her. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” She asked.

Sam nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks Sam.” 

She walked into the room, shutting the door behind her. Tobin was laying in bed, flat on her back, breathing heavy. Somewhere between Sam putting her in bed and now she managed to get her shirt off, and through it in the corner of the room, as well as her socks that were in the other corner of the room. She laid, breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling roughly, mumbling words. Christen crawled in bed next to her, shifting her to her side, wrapping her up in her arms. 

“Chris,” Tobin whispered. 

“Shh,” Christen soothed, rubbing her back, “Settle down baby, get some sleep.”

She felt Tobin cling tight to her, wrapping her long arms around her middle, nestling her head into the crook of her neck. She could feel her hot breath on her skin, as she finally settled down and started to rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If my Spanish was off, please let me know and I will fix it. I did my best!
> 
> Let me know what you think. What do you think Tobin is going to do?


	28. In this together (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin wakes up to what she hopes is the best day of her life. They go to church and run into her mom, who invites Alex to dinner on Friday. Alex finally goes to the park to play soccer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter. I wanted to add in everything and not leave it on a cliff hanger. Hope you enjoy, and ignore those typos.

Tobin’s alarm was one of those generic songs the phone is programmed with, it sounds like someone is playing the xylophone but they are just starting out so they keep running the mallet up and down. It’s loud and obnoxious and going off way to early. 

“Turn it off,” Alex groans, turning to burry her face into her girlfriends neck. 

She reached over and grabs her phone, siding her thumb across the screen to turn it off, then set it back down on the end table. This is the second night in a row that she has slept in Alex’s room all curled up in bed, comfortable and completely happy. 

“Morning babe,” Tobin yawn, dipping her head down just enough to kiss the top of Alex’s head, “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” she replied wrapping her arm tighter around Tobin’s mid section. “I always sleep good when you are here.” She pressed her lips to her girlfriends neck and smiles, “You’re so cozy.”

“Me too,” Tobin responded happily. 

Tobin never had trouble sleeping, she was always so tired that she would just fall asleep most of the time. Of course she had nights when she stayed awake, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out her entire life in one night. There were nights when she would just scroll through her phone, looking at facebook, looking at pictures of Alex, wishing she had the courage to talk to her, and now she was here, in Alex’s bed, her arms wrapped around her stomach, her messy hair tickling her chin when she moved her head. Not only was she here, waking up to her, but last night was the best night she had ever had, the best night in the whole world. She slept wonderfully last night, as soon as Alex’s breathing evened out, and she could feel her soft breaths against her chest as Alex’s head rested, Tobin fell asleep and slept better than she ever had. 

Alex pulled tighter to the warm body next to her, even though it was impossible to get any closer, “What time is it?”

“5:45,” Tobin said closing her eyes again. 

“Why are we up?” Alex rasped out, “Let’s go back to sleep.”

She let out a little laugh, “I have church today.”

“Oh right, it’s Thursday,” Alex whined “But that’s not until 8 which means we don’t have to leave until like 7:30, which means we can sleep for another hour.” She kissed Tobin’s neck, “Let’s sleep.”

“I have to go home to get church clothes,” Tobin groaned. 

Alex shook her head lightly, “You have your white shirt and the light blue one, and your grey pants. I washed them and put them in my closet.”

A smiled creeped on Tobin’s face, the thought of her girlfriend doing her laundry feeling very domestic to her. “I guess I don’t have to go home.” She laughed a little pulling Alex in close, “I guess we can sleep for another hour.”

Alex snuggled in again, “Yes, that’s what I like to hear.” She lifted her head just enough to kiss Tobin’s jaw. When Tobin leaned her head down to capture her lips, a slight rush was sent through her body, and she pulled herself up to kiss her deeper, “Or…”

“Or?” Tobin questioned between kisses. 

Alex pulled herself on top of her girlfriend kissing her harder, “Or…” she said looking down through hooded eyes. 

Tobin grinned, “I like or.”

 

—

 

This was the third time Alex had gone to church with Tobin, she still wasn’t use to the whole thing, but she enjoyed going, it was peaceful and made her feel calm. They walked into the church greeting people as they walked by, Alex was a welcomed face people starting to learn her name. They sat in Tobin’s normal spot that Alex was starting to think of as her spot too. 

“We are getting waffles after this,” Alex stated as they took their seat. 

“Don’t I always feed you after?” Tobin asked with a smile, 

Alex grinned, “Yes, but I want to make sure you remember.”

“How could I forget?” She smiled, “It’s becoming my new Thursday tradition. Go to church, then feed The Lex.”

Alex placed her hand on Tobin’s knee, “I’m training you well.”

They both started to laugh, looking into each other’s eyes. This was quickly becoming one of the best parts of Tobin’s week. She was off Thursdays, and so was Alex so they got to spend the day together, besides the two hours or so that she played soccer, and Alex took off to do other things. They would go to church, get breakfast then go for a run or some kind of training before sitting around for a while, which always made Tobin fall asleep, all cuddle up on the couch. This was how she wanted to spend all her days, seeing as much of her girlfriend as she could. 

Tobin looked over at her girlfriend, her hair was down around her shoulders, slightly curly, those blue eyes shining in the light. “I want to kiss you.” 

Blushing from the bold statement, Alex lowered her head, “I want to kiss you too.” 

There was a moment when Tobin thought, fuck it kiss her, she didn’t care about the people around her, what they might say or might think, she just wanted to kiss her girlfriend. She was leaning in when a voice called out to her. She turned around to see her mom and her sisters walking towards her. Tobin froze in place, what the hell were they doing here? 

“Mom,” Tobin exclaimed rising to her feet, “What are you doing here? It’s Thursday.”

Her mom walked into the row, “I know, but Katie is home and Perry was around so I thought I would come to church, spend a little time with my girls. God knows where your brother is, and your fathers at work. I thought I would be nice to go to mass and maybe breakfast after.”

“Uhh…” Tobin stuttered not really sure what to say to that, “I mean yeah, I guess.”

Her mom looked past her to see Alex standing there, “Who’s this?”

Tobin turned to see Alex who seemed as calm as she ever was, “Uh, this is Alex.”

“So you’re the famous Alex Morgan?” Tobin’s mom said in a happy tone.

Alex moved closer sticking out her hand to shake the older woman’s hand, “I didn’t know I was famous,” she laughed a little. 

“My daughter seems to be spending a lot of time with you, but I never get to see you. I was starting to think you were maybe a boy she was hiding” she said lightly. 

“Nope, I’m the real deal,” Alex chuckled.

She gave her a wide smile, one that reminded Alex of Tobin. “I didn’t know you went to church.”

“I actually don’t,” Alex said looking around a bit, “Tobin brought me a few times and I really enjoyed it so I keep getting her to let me tag along.”

She looked over to her youngest daughter and gave a closed lip smile, “That’s nice.”

“Mom, the service is starting,” Perry said quickly. 

She looked up to the alter, where the priest was starting to light the candles, “Oh, yes.”

They all sat down, Tobin scooted further away from Alex then she had been. She looked behind her mom to her sisters who were looking over to her. They shared some looks, Tobin’s clearly saying ‘what the fuck’ and her sisters being as confused as she was. Apparently this was spur of the moment, and Tobin knew that was true, after all her mom was prone to random things like this, it shouldn’t be a shocker that she show up when Alex was around, and when she was two seconds away from kissing her. They would just have to sit through this, hopefully her mom remained as clueless as she always had been about Tobin’s relationship status. 

 

Church was over, lucky for Tobin, it is always a quiet service, one where you don’t have to talk unless you are reading, or repeating what the priest says, also you don’t ever have to look anywhere but up front so that made keeping her eyes off Alex that much easier. The four women walked out of the church into the sun shining down on the church, Tobin still keeping her distance from her girlfriend.

“That was a really nice sermon,” her mother said. 

Tobin nodded, “Yeah it was great.”

“Yeah, it was,” Perry agreed quickly, “We should get out of here.” 

“Oh yeah, pancakes are calling my name,” Katie said putting her arm around her moms shoulders, “Let’s go get some food.” She looked over to her little sister, “Tobin, you should take Alex home.”

Still nervous to even hear Alex’s name in her mom’s presence, Tobin stuttered over her words, “Uh, yeah, I should… I should uh, do that.”

“Oh no,” Her mom sighed, “I wanted to have breakfast with you. I feel like I never get to see my girls.”

“Go to breakfast,” Alex said lightly, “I have to get home anyway.”

Tobin looked over at her confused, “You do?”

“Yeah, I have my own family thing to get to,” she said with a smile, trying to let Tobin know she was okay with her leaving, “We can hang out later.”

“Uh, I mean okay,” she responded a little shocked, “If you’re sure.”

“Of course,” Alex smiled her signature smile. She turned to Tobin’s mom, “It was nice to finally meet you.”

She returned her smile, “Yes it was, I’m happy to actually see the one person who can seem to pull Tobin away from the soccer field. Hey you know what, you should come to dinner tomorrow.”

“What?” Tobin called out with more force than she meant to. 

“Yeah, it’s nothing special or anything.” Her mom said simply, “It would be nice to have you over.”

Alex looked over to Tobin whose eyes were bigger than she had ever seen them, “I don’t want to intrude on a family thing.”

“Nonsense,” the cheerful woman said reaching out and putting her hand on Alex’s shoulder. “We would love to have you.” She looked over to her youngest daughter, “Tobin, tell her we would love to have her over.”

Whenever her mom said things like that it meant she didn’t have much of a choice. “We would love to have you over.” She said in a monotone voice. 

“Okay,” Alex said with a chuckle, “Yeah, I’d love to come to dinner.”

“That’s great,” she responded.

“I guess, I’ll see you then.” Alex said happily, “I’m going to go ahead and get out of here, so you guys can get breakfast. It was really nice to meet you Mrs. Heath.”

“It was nice to meet you too Alex, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.”

“I’m going to walk Alex to her car,” Tobin said quickly, “I’ll meet you guys at the place in a second.”

 

They said their goodbyes and walked over to the far parking lot Tobin not saying a word as they went. When they finally reached the car Alex was the first one to speak. 

“That went great,” She cheered. 

“Really?” Tobin asked, her eyes still wide.

Alex laughed, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure your mom likes me.”

“That’s because she doesn’t know you’re my girlfriend.” She sighed running her hand through her hair, “She likes Alex the friend, I’m pretty sure she would have freaked out over Alex the girlfriend.”

Alex reached out and took her hand, “Well, maybe we should get her to love me, like your sisters do, then when you tell her about us she’ll love me way too much to freak out.”

Tobin lowered her head, studying the cracks in the ground. “I don’t know if that will work.”

“Trust me Tobin, I am going to dinner tomorrow and I am going to charm the pants off your mom, and she will welcome me with open arms.” She sounded so confident she made Tobin look up and smile, “I know this is scary, and if you don’t want me to go then I will cancel.”

“That’s not it.” Tobin whispered, “I just don’t want her to like… I don’t know, yell, or something.”

She squeezed tight to the nervous hand in hers, “Your mom seems really awesome. I don’t know her, but she didn’t seem like the type to yell. And if she does, then Katie and Perry will have your back, they love you, they love me.”

Tobin nodded, that was true, her sisters did love Alex and they would protect and defend them if they needed too, even if it was from their mom. 

“Okay,” Tobin answered apprehensively, “Let’s do it.”

Alex looked around the parking lot before reaching up and cupping Tobin’s face in her hands. She pulled her in and kissed her, it was soft and reassuring. “It’s going to be great.”

There was no helping the smile that creeped on Tobin’s face, “Okay, but you can’t do _that_ tomorrow.”

“I’ll try my hardest to resist.” She said giving her a wink.

They kissed one more time, a quick peck on the lips before Alex got in her car and drove off. Tobin stood there for a second, she needed to get herself together before facing her mother again. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to take Alex home to hang out with her family. It was one thing for her siblings to meet her, but her dad, her mom, that was a lot. She didn’t have much of a choice now, Alex seemed to have her mind made up, and there was no way her mom was going to back out now. So Alex was meeting her parents, yeah she could do this, maybe she’d pass out once or twice, but she could do this.

 

—

 

The small restaurant a few blocks down from the church was the place her family always went for breakfast after church. They started going there when Tobin was really young, she remembered walking down the street holding tight to Katie’s hand as they crossed the street. She remembered her little brother holding both her parents hands and them swinging him as they walked huge smile on his face. Perry was always running ahead, pressing the cross walk button before the family ever got to the edge the sidewalk giving them only a few seconds to actually cross the road. This was before her sisters went to college, before Jeff had other things to do on Sundays, before she had to work. Now they were lucky to even get a second all together. Maybe this dinner was a good idea after all. 

She walked into the restaurant to see her mom and sisters sitting in a booth off to the side, they looked happy; Perry telling a joke, something Katie thought was funny and their mom was trying not to laugh at. As much as her mom stressed her out, she loved her, she loved watching her trying not laugh at all the jokes she thought were inappropriate. If they could just stay off the hot topics like boys and soccer, they got along just fine. 

“Hey,” Tobin said scooting into the booth next to Katie. 

“I ordered you coffee,” Perry told her. 

Tobin nodded, picking the menu up from the table, “Thanks, I need it.”

“So Alex seems like a really nice girl,” her mom quickly said, “She’s very pretty.”

She popped her head up, “Uh, yeah she’s pretty… great, she’s pretty great.” She corrected. 

“Yeah, she’s pretty smart too, right Tobs?” Katie chimed in, “She’s headed to Berkeley.”

Tobin nodded, “Yeah, she has a full ride on a soccer scholarship.”

“I remember watching her play on your team,” her mom said happily, “She was really good, I’m not surprised she’s going on scholarship. Berkeley is in California right? She should have fun there. Does she have a boyfriend?”

Tobin’s heart sank, so they weren’t going to be able to stay off the one thing she didn’t want to talk about, “No, she doesn’t.”

She raised an eyebrow, “That is surprising, she’s so pretty. Well she’ll meet a boy in California.”

“California boys!” Katie practically shouted, “I need to meet a California boy, go surfing, hang on the beach.” She wiggled her eyebrows. 

“Katie,” her mom exclaimed.

Her older sister was taking the attention off her, which was good because Tobin could hear her heart beating in her ears, and her face was getting hot. She knew this was just who her mom was, but still it bothered her. Alex didn’t have a boyfriend, she had a girlfriend, she was Tobin’s girlfriend, and she wanted to shout that, but this wasn’t the place. Alex’s plan to make her mom like her before breaking the news was a good one. Maybe if she saw how wonderful Alex was then she wouldn’t be so upset about her dating her youngest daughter. Or maybe she would freak out and throw Tobin out the house. Tomorrow they would find out, until then Tobin was going to have to sip her coffee and choke down some pancakes and hopefully her sisters could change the subject anytime Alex came up.

 

—

 

Somehow Tobin made it through breakfast without spontaneously combusting, or freaking out, or yelling. She went home with her mom and sisters, and took a nap for a little while before packing up her soccer stuff and headed over to Alex’s house to hang out for a little while before the pick up game. 

 

“My mom is surprised you don’t have a boyfriend,” Tobin said sitting down on Alex’s bed. 

Alex let out a loud laugh, “Did you tell her that I may not have a boyfriend but I do have a smoking hot girlfriend?”

She chuckled, laying back on the bed, her shirt coming up just enough to show off her tan stomach, “Yup that’s exactly what I told her, and when she asked who it was, I told her it was that girl from school who use to wear beanies even in the summer when it was way to hot to wear a snow hat.”

“You thought she was hot?” Alex laughed, remembering the girl she was talking about. 

Putting her hands under her head, she shrugged one of her shoulders, “She was hot.”

“Oh yeah? Is that what you’re into? Snow hats in the summer.” Alex asked slyly, moving closer to her, standing just above her. 

Again, Tobin shrugged, “Yeah, I like girls with hot heads.” She sat up to give her girlfriend a big grin, “You got any snow hats around here?”

“Yeah, I have a few.” She leaned forward and ran her hands over the exposed part of Tobin’s stomach. “You want me to go get one right now.”

Tobin looked up at her, “Maybe,” she smiled, wiggling her eyebrows.

Alex put her hands under Tobin’s back and pulled her up. “Are you sure you’re okay with me coming to dinner? I don’t want to do anything to mess up your last few weeks here.”

It was true, Alex could go to dinner and her mom could freak out and try to keep them apart. She could yell and scream and say horrible things. She could kick Tobin out the house or something even worse, but at the end of the day, she wanted to do this, she wanted Alex to know her family, her entire family. 

“I think it’s time,” she answered simply. “I feel like I have been hiding this big part of me, and I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“I know what you mean,” Alex answered sweetly, placing her hands on her shoulders. “It almost feels impossible to be yourself in your own house, like at any second you could slip up and ruin everything.”

“It’s like I’m out on this ledge, and I have one foot hovering over, and everyone can see me, they can see the edge, they can see how close I am to it, but they are just ignoring it. At any moment I can fall over that edge, I can just fall and never stop falling, and everyone will cry and freak out, but I am the only one who is falling, I am the only one who it’s really going to effect, I’m the one who will go splat when I hit the ground.”

“You think your parents know?” Alex asked trying to figure out the metaphor. 

“I know they know,” Tobin said with a low laugh, “I know they know, I can see it when they look at me, I can hear it when they talk to me, but it’s like they just don’t want to say it. I know my dad isn’t saying anything because he wants me to say it, he wants me to tell him, and I know he would accept me no matter what, he’d love me no matter what. My mom, I’m not too sure.”

Alex took her hands, they were shaking they way they always did when she was nervous. She squeezed tight to her hands, “It’s like you told me, you’re mom will always love you.”

“Yeah, I know.” She let out a breath, “But I want my mom to love the real me. I want her to love me because of who I am, not in spite of it.”

“I get it.” She said stepping closer to pull Tobin’s head close to her chest, “We’ll figure it out… together.”

Tobin knew Alex was right, she knew her mom would always love her, but a piece of her knew unconditional love may not be enough, not when all she really wanted was approval. All Tobin had even wanted was to make her mom proud, to see her smiling at her, loving her without any judgement, without any fear of who she would turn out to be. That seemed almost impossible, her mom was stuck in her ways, she was the reason Tobin was so stubborn at times, both of them able to match each other in an unmoving battle when they really got into it. Her mom was the only one that could get her blood to boil, get her to spend hours in the yard kicking the ball as hard as she could. Her mom was the most frustrating person in the world, and yet her opinion, her approval, it meant everything. 

She pushed her face into Alex’s chest taking in her scent. No matter how frustrated she got the smell of honey always calmed her down, the warmth of Alex’s body making everything melt away. She hugged her tight, listening to the soft thump of her heart, letting the sound calm her like her favorite song. 

“You should come to soccer with me,” Tobin said softly, she could hear Alex sigh, “Come on, it’ll be fun. You haven’t played with a team in a while.”

Alex looked down at her sweet girlfriend now looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, “I can’t Tobin, everyone there…”

“No one hates you,” Tobin stopped her.

“I can think of _one_ person who hates me.” She rolled her eyes. “And I’m not a fan of hers either.”

“I wish you two would get along,” Tobin sighed, “she’s really nice.”

Alex took a step back, “I’m not denying she’s nice, or at least she can be. I don’t like that she has a crush on you Tobin, and she doesn’t even try to hide it.” She shook her head, trying not to get upset in the moment, “She just really pissed me off in Boston, and I don’t want to hang around her.”

Tobin stood up, reaching out to grab her hand pulling it away from her body, “Come on please, I really want you out there. I need you. You don’t even have to worry about her. I’ll make sure you two are on different teams.”

Those big brown eyes, wide and loving and sweet, pulling Alex in further every second she looked into them, “You’re not sucking me in Tobin Heath.”

“I think I am,” she smiled pulling her in close. 

Tobin took a step back, guiding Alex with her. She leaned in and kissed her backing up steadily until the back of her legs hit the bed. She sat down, trying to take Alex with her, but the girl stayed standing, looking down, her eyes turning dark. Alex ran her tongue across her bottom lip, not breaking eye contact, sending a chill down Tobin’s spine. She reached up putting her hand on her girlfriends hips, pulling her closer. Alex got on the bed, straddling Tobin’s lap, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. As their lips touched, Tobin felt a rush, squeezing her hands on Alex’s hips forcing her to grind down on her lap. The kiss was hot, heavy, their tongues rolling over each other, exploring each others mouths. Tobin ran her hands up Alex’s back, under her shirt, her fingers touching the bottom of her bra before running down her back again and tugging on the hem of her shirt. 

 

“Do you want this off?” Alex asked touching the bottom of her shirt, her voice low and steady. 

Tobin looked up at her, mouth too dry to speak, so she nodded hoping that was enough. Alex grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head, throwing it on the bed behind them. 

Tobin’s eyes were glued to the red bra she was wearing, it wasn’t anything fancy, just enough fabric to hold back everything Tobin wanted to get her hands on, put her mouth on. She leaned in and kissed her chest working her way up her neck and across her jaw until their mouths met again. 

Alex was pushing down on her hips, her hands tangled in Tobin’s hair pulling her as close as possible. Tobin pulled away from her just enough to latch her mouth on her pulse point and suck, before kissing her chest, running her tongue along the thin fabric of her bra, enough to make her nipple hard. She ran her hands up Alex’s back, touching the clasp of her bra. 

Alex pulled her away, looking down with dark eyes, “Do you want this off?”

Again, Tobin was speechless. How the hell was she supposed to talk when Alex was looking at her like that? She swallowed hard nodding her head.

Alex leaned forward, kissing her ear, “Then tell me.”

Tobin felt her stomach do a flip, her heart raced, her jaw dropped when she heard the words. She needed to find a away to speak, she needed to say it. She looked up at her girlfriend, her pupils were blown, she was ready, she was just waiting on the words. 

With a deep breath and all the courage she could summon Tobin spoke up, “Take it off.”

Without hesitation Alex reached one hand back unclasping her bra and letting the straps fall from her shoulders. She took it off tossing it on the ground and sitting with her back straight watching Tobin’s eyes as they raked over her body. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Tobin said licking her lips. 

“And you know what,” she said putting two fingers under Tobin’s chin pulling her head up to look in her eyes, “I’m all yours.”

Tobin surged forward capturing her lips, kissing her hard, pulling her in as close as she could get. She kissed her neck, working her way to the spot behind her ear that always made her weak. 

“You like that?” Alex breathed out, her voice deep and raspy, “You like when I say I’m yours?” She felt Tobin nod into her neck, her lips still attached to the spot right behind her ear. “I’m yours Tobin.”

They had made out before, been really far into it, and last night when they finally went all the way Tobin didn’t think she could ever get more turned on, but Alex’s words found another spot deep inside her. Luckily Alex could sense this new feeling and started working on helping her find a release. 

Alex ran her hand down Tobin’s front, pulling on her shirt enough to make Tobin move back and take it off. As she felt Tobin kiss her neck again, her hands massaging her breast, Alex ran her hands down her stomach, feeling each one of her abs as she did. She stopped her hand at the waistband of her shorts. Alex may have been hotter than she ever had been, but she needed to make sure Tobin was okay with this.

“Is this okay?” She asked.

Tobin thought for a second, last night was all about Alex, about making her feel good, and about figuring out what to do. They never actually got to this point, but she was ready for it. She was ready for everything with Alex. She nodded her head, looking up to Alex and giving a small smile. 

That was all Alex needed. She let her hand go past the top of her shorts, first she touched over her underwear, letting her fingers put a little pressure. She felt Tobin pull her in closer, her hands moving faster on her chest, her lips seeking any skin she could find. Alex slipped her hand under her underwear allowing her fingers to stroke through her folds. She heard Tobin start to breathe heavy, felt her moving under her hand, so she added pressure hoping to bring her girlfriend to the edge. 

The sensation was overwhelming, Tobin had no idea what to do. It felt so good, her body was on fire, a feeling in the pit of her stomach was growing. She could feel Alex’s fingers as they made circles between her legs, pulling feelings out of her that she’s never had. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist holding her close. She needed to ground herself. 

All her senses seemed to be exploding all at once. The smell of Alex’s skin, like honey now with a hint of sweat. The taste of Alex’s skin, as she kissed her shoulder, running her tongue over her collar bone. Tobin’s eyes were closed, but her mind was filled with images of her girlfriend, but the sensation was too much for her to open her eyes. The feeling of Alex’s fingers moving faster, her hips forcing pressure as she moved up and down. And finally the sound of Alex’s voice as she whispered in her ear. 

“Come for me baby,” Alex breathed out.

The feeling was like a sudden shock of the most wonderful kind and then like she was falling and she never wanted to stop. Tobin felt her entire body tense up, and then suddenly relax, followed by trimmers she had no control over. It was the best feeling she ever had. 

Alex slowly pulled her hand up, letting Tobin catch her breath. “How was that?”

She looked up at her, the biggest smile coming on her face, “That was the best thing ever.”

“Better than soccer?” She joked. 

Tobin quickly nodded, “I think so.”

“Wow, high praise,” She said throwing her head back in laughter. “You know it does get better.”

Tobin sat up straight, “Oh yeah?”

Alex leaned down kissing her, letting her tongue slip into her mouth just a little, “Yeah it does.”

“Then let’s do that,” Tobin smiled, pulling her a little closer.

“Don’t you have a soccer game?” She joked looking over at the clock, “You’ll be late.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tobin laughed, “seriously, what’s soccer?”

She laughed, pushing the loose hairs that fell in her girlfriend face, “You’re so cute.” She looked down at those big brown eyes, that mega watt smile making her weak, “How about I go to the park with you.”

“You really want to play?” She asked sounding like a little kid. 

Alex nodded, “Yeah, I kinda want to spend more time with you, and I know you want to play soccer.”

“I mean we can spend time right here, in bed, you know, doing what we just did.” She said shrugging playfully, “I’m just saying.”

Alex laughed, slapping her hand down on her shoulder, “Get up Tobin Heath, we are playing soccer.” She stood up turning around to grab a shirt. She looked over her shoulder, “We can always come back to bed after.” She said with a wink. 

Tobin stood up quickly, putting her arms around Alex’s waist and burying her face in her neck, “I’m holding you to that.”

 

—

 

By the time they got to the park everyone was already down on the field. It wouldn’t have taken so long if Tobin knew how to keep her hands to herself. They spent an extra five minutes making out before they even left the room, and another few minutes of making out in the car as Tobin ran her hand up Alex’s bare legs in her short shorts. Granted Alex did give in a few times, allowing her girlfriend to take control for a bit before reeling her back in and making her focus on getting to the park. 

They walked down to the field, Tobin making some joke about getting back in the car and driving back to the house before they got noticed, but Morgan called out across the field, and all her plans to run back to bed were ruined. 

“Lex,” Morgan yelled out, “I can’t believe your here.”

Alex dropped her bag down, “Yeah, Tobin got me out.”

“I’m so happy,” the bubbly girl said, “Now we can be on the same team.”

“We’ve already started picking teams,” Christen said quickly. “And now we have uneven numbers.”

Alex looked up at her squinting her eyes, she wanted to say something but someone else spoke up. 

“I’ll be zebra,” Becky spoke up, “I tweaked my ankle a bit this morning, I was a little hesitant about running on it anyway.”

“Perfect,” Morgan said cheerfully, “Alex and Tobin are on our team.”

“Woo, do we really want to put them three together?” Clint asked looking around to see if anyone agreed with him. 

Jozy chuckled, “What’s wrong Clint, you scared.”

“You saw Georgia’s reaction, you know they are gonna smoke everyone on the field.” He pointed over to Alex, “You really want to put her and Tobin on their team.”

“That means he’s scared.” Bobby teased.

Clint threw his hands in the air, “You know what, you wanna put both forwards and both midfielders on the same team, you go right ahead.”

Alex looked around at the group, who was the other forward on the team? She was going to ask but everyone started on making fun of Clint. She put her cleats on watching as everyone started to take the field. She jogged to the side Morgan was on and saw Christen standing on the left, so that was the other forward, she already knew that, but she didn’t want to think about it. Tobin was behind her on the right, she looked back at her girlfriend who was sporting a huge smile, not a worry in the world. So she had to play on the same team as Christen, if Tobin was happy, she could do it, she could do anything for that girl. 

 

The game started off, Tobin getting the ball quickly and bringing it the field. Alex was on the right waiting to make the run. She had seen these moves from Tobin before, she had been playing with her for so long, she knew every move she made. Whenever she was coming up the left, she was going to look up to make a slant pass before she thought about an arching pass. Tobin never looked down at the ball unless she absolutely needed to, so it was best to get to where her eyes were focused. Alex made the run, cutting past the midfield and landing just before the defenders. She read Tobin perfectly, as she had learned to do in the last eight years they played together. The pass was sent, and Alex had two touches on the ball before firing it into the top corner, just past Tim’s reach.

Tobin ran up behind her, picking her up spinning her around. “That was awesome.” 

As she was set back down on her feet, she turned to wrap her arms around Tobin’s neck, “We got this.”

“Hell yeah we do.” Tobin smiled. 

The rest of the team was on them in a few seconds patting Alex on the back, telling her how great the play was. Everyone was all smiles, and suddenly Alex started to feel accepted in the large group. If she and Tobin could keep connecting like this, the game would be easy, and everyone would love her. 

Tobin and Alex had only been apart in soccer for a few months, the championship game feeling like it was closer in time. They knew each other like the back of their hands, maybe even more so now. They weren’t just teammates who knew each other’s moves, they were together and they knew each other’s every breath. Alex had never felt this connected to another player, to another person. They way Tobin smiled at her as they set up made Alex want to run over there and kiss her, never stopping. She wanted to be across from that girl every time she was on the field, she wanted to be across from her every day of her life. She just wanted Tobin, and she felt like the luckiest girl in the world because she had Tobin, she had all of her.

 

The ball was reset and the game went on. It turned into a hard set battle, the other team tightening up after Clint gave them a round of ‘i told you so’s’ after the first goal. Tobin was playing hard, moving like she never had and Alex was enjoying watching her play, she was enjoying watching her move in those shorts mostly. Like a true striker, Alex spent most of her time upfront, and she was always just opposite of Christen on the other side of the field. 

Alex watch Christen’s few touches on the ball, even though she wasn’t a fan of the girl, she couldn’t deny her skill. Christen had light touches, fast foot movement, and precision. She was tall with long legs that she had perfect control over. She could stop on a dime, and get moving faster then a speeding train when she needed to. The girl was good, she was phenomenal, she put some fear in Alex on the field. 

There weren’t many people that Alex felt threaten by. She felt threaten by Christen, first it was off the field, those deep green eyes that may or may not change colors in the light. That perfect caramel colored skin, and pink lips that looked like the softest set of lips in the world. The way her hair bounced when she moved. The way all the muscles in her leg flexed when she kicked. She was beautiful in a way that was subtle yet right in your face. And let’s face it, Christen was sweet, she was super nice, and smart and she sounded like an angel when she talked. If it wasn’t for her extreme dislike of the girl Alex would be jealous of her, but she wasn’t jealous she was angry. Now on the field, watching her kick a ball in the air and speed down the field to accept her own pass, Alex felt even more threatened. 

Tobin’s life was soccer, her world was soccer, and if someone as beautiful as Christen was going to be on her team, without Alex there, that meant Tobin might think about Christen more than she thought about Alex, and that burned the forward up inside. Those two would be together almost every single day, and Tobin could easily fall in love with the way the other girl moved, with the way she played, and that could lead to falling in love with other things about her, leaving Alex alone, without Tobin, without the girl she wanted more than she wanted anything else in this world.

Alex shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her mind. She needed to focus on the game. If she could get everyone to accept her, she could spend more time with Tobin. She could be on the field with her and remind her girlfriend of her playing style. They could be an unstoppable team, and hopefully Tobin would carry that with her when they were far away.

 

The game was dead even as the sun began to set. Alex had one goal and Christen had two. Tobin was on fire all day, making perfect passes feeding them to who ever was open at the time, not favoring either forward as they played. She took the ball up the field looking for one of them to make it to the middle. She saw Christen out the corner of her eye making a run from the left, and Alex was cutting up the middle. One of them was going to get the ball, so she sent it to the center. 

Neither girl was paying attention to the other. They had been on the same end of the field, but complete opposite sides all day. Alex played up, they way she always did, and Christen was a little more up and down the field as was her style, but this was probably going to be one of the last balls of the day and the last chance to really score, so they both headed for the ball. 

Right when the ball was coming down, they both jumped in the air hoping to head it, colliding with each other in the air and crashing to the ground. 

Christen was the first one up, “What the hell?” 

“What the hell, yeah.” Alex said hopping to her feet and moving closer to the girl. 

Standing her ground Christen stood up straight, “You ran into me.”

Alex laughed, “Yeah right, **you** ran into me.”

Tobin started to head over to them, pull Alex away before something happened, but Morgan stopped her. 

“No, they need to hash this out.” She said keeping Tobin in place. 

Tobin looked over at her, maybe she was right. For the last two weeks Alex had been on edge every time she mentioned playing soccer, or going into work, or anything that had to do with Christen. Alex didn’t specifically tell Tobin to stay away from the other girl, but she might as well have, and Tobin tried to do her best. She worked with Christen, and they had all the same friends, so there was no way to really stay away from her, but Tobin did try. She could tell Christen knew what she was doing. Their conversations were shorter, even shorter than they had been. She avoided eye contact with her most of the time, and Tobin could tell it was getting to her, but at the end of the day Alex came first.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you were playing your position,” Christen snapped. 

“I am playing my position,” Alex bit back, “I’m a striker this is where I play.”

“Not here, not on my field,” Christen yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. “But that’s Alex right, she just shows up and takes things that’s not hers.”

“Not mine?” She yelled out.

“This is my team, this is my spot,” her voice was strained, “but you take whatever you want, right? You just get to show up and do whatever you want. Alex Morgan gets to walk into people’s lives and take everything without even trying, without caring.”

“This has been my spot since before you even got here,” Alex screamed. “It’s mine, it’s always been mine. You’re the one who thinks you can just walk into our lives and take a spot that’s not yours. It’s my spot, it’s been my spot since the sixth fucking grade, and it will always be mine. So the next time you think you can do whatever you want, get in my fucking face about something that is not yours, was never yours and will never be yours, think again. This is my field, and that is _my spot._ ”

Alex was ready to say something else, but she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Tobin, she was pulling her away from Christen, and it was a good thing, because the other girls eyes were beginning to well up. Alex’s words had hit her in just the right spot and she was about to break down. Tobin pulled Alex away before it happened. 

They grabbed their bags, not changing from their cleats, and headed up to the parking lot. In silence they put the bags in the back seat and then drove off leaving everyone to take care of Christen.

 

—

 

The entire drive was spent in silence. Alex had her head turned away, she couldn’t look over at the girl driving the car, she didn’t want to see the look on her face. When they parked, Tobin turned off the car, sitting fully back in the seat and letting out a long breath. 

Alex finally turned her head, “Are you going to speak?”

“What was that, Alex?” She pushed out. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” she pulled her hand up to her mouth running her knuckles across her bottom lip, “That was a lot, but…”

Tobin put her hand up, stopping Alex from continuing, “I know she kind of started that, she yelled first, but did you have to go off like that?”

“Yes,” Alex responded firmly.

“Why?” Tobin lowered her eyebrows in confusion, “It was just soccer.”

“God, Tobin I know you are new to all this, but that was not about soccer.” She shook her head, “That was about you.”

She turned her head looking over at the girl getting more upset, “What are you talking about?”

“That girl is under the impression that if I wasn’t there, if I hadn’t come into the store and talked to you when I did, that she would be with you.” She was talking with her hands the way she did when she was working herself up. “Which, fuck, maybe she is right. Maybe if I didn’t walk in, maybe if I didn’t talk to you that day, maybe you two would be together.” She looked over to Tobin whose face was twisted in confusion, “Is she right Tobin? Would you be with her, if you weren’t with me?”

“I…” she paused for a second, there was a correct answer to the question and then there was the truth. She didn’t want to lie so somewhere in between was best. “I don’t know. I have no way of knowing what would have happened. I know what _did_ happen, and I know I wouldn’t change it.”

Alex sat back in her seat, “I know she hates me, I know she thinks I some how ‘stole’ you.”

“You didn’t steal me,” Tobin huffed, the words making her feel like a piece of property, “I chose to be with you. I chose it then and I’d do it again. Alex, I want to be with you, no one else.”

This wasn’t Tobin’s fault and Alex knew it. The insecurity she felt when it came to Christen was all her own, it was her own lack of faith in herself, her self-consciousness toying with her head. She had been through so much in her life, in relationships, and she was finally in one that really mattered, that was really amazing and with the girl she had wanted for years and some how she was messing it up. Tobin wasn’t interested in Christen, she may have been before, but Alex could tell by the way she looked at her, they way they kissed, they way they were in every moment they are together that Tobin only wanted her.

“I’m sorry I’m crazy.” Alex said lightly, “I’m sorry I ruined another event with your friends.”

Tobin reached over placing a gentle hand on her knee, “Don’t worry about that. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” she said with a weak smile. She turned to face her, putting her hand on Tobin’s soft cheek and pulling her into a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Her eyes lowered, “But it’s Thursday.”

“Baby,” Alex responded looking in her eyes, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tobin got the hint, Alex needed to be alone. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Alex stepped out the car, grabbing her bag from the back and shutting the door. She walked up the steps to her house, looking back to see Tobin looking on, her face sad and worried. As much as she wanted to be with Tobin in that moment, go back and kiss her, pull her into bed and make sure she was okay, Alex needed some time. She gave her girlfriend a wave before opening the door and walking inside without looking back.

 

—

 

Tobin made it home a lot slower than usual. She drove under the speed limit hoping Alex would text her and tell her to come back, to come sleep next to her. The phone never buzzed, no matter how many times she looked over at it, no matter how many times she thought about it, the damn thing never buzzed, and she was home in her driveway, looking sadder than she ever had before. She sat there, her phone now in hand, and her mind trying to come up with the perfect text to send, something that would make Alex tell her to come over, but nothing came to her. Alex needed some space, she needed time to think and as much as it pained her, Tobin had to give her space, time. They would see each other in the morning and it would all be okay.

She got out the car slinging her bag over her shoulder and headed up the stairs of her porch. 

“Hey little sis,” Katie called out from the porch swing. 

Tobin looked over, she couldn’t really see her sister in the dim light, “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“Having a drink,” she held up a brown beer bottle, “Don’t tell mom.” She chuckled. 

She walked over, setting her bag down, “Sounds like a good idea.”

Katie reached down taking a beer from the plastic bag twisting the top and handing it over to her little sister, “Seriously, don’t tell mom.”

“I won’t.” Tobin smiled then took a drink from the bottle.

They sat there for a little while, both of them staring out into the yard, taking small sips from their drinks. The air was nice, crisp, clean, the wind was blowing just enough to keep them cool on the hot night. The porch had one light, just above the door, and it was on it’s last days giving off a dim yellow light that only really lit up the door and casted shadows on the rest of the porch. There was just enough light from the dying bulb and the moon that the two sisters good see each other. 

“What has you so sad?” Katie finally broke the silence between them. 

Tobin took a quick drink, “Alex.”

“She upset with you or something?” She asked shifting in her seat. 

The younger girl gave off her classic shoulder shrug, “I honestly don’t know.”

“Tell me what happened, I’ll help you figure this out little sis.” Katie said in a cheerful voice. 

Tobin turned in the swing so she was facing her older sister. This was the first time she had ever had a chance to actually talk to Katie. She had been talking to Perry all summer, but Katie was different. The older of the three girls was calmer, a little more intuitive, and had a bit more life experience. Tobin was more like Katie, she was quiet and would rather listen then talk. Perry was the talker, she enjoyed speaking to everyone, but Tobin and Katie were more speak when spoken to type of girls.

Feeling at ease with her oldest sister, and the beer in her hand, Tobin pulled her legs up and started to tell the story of her and Alex. She talked long enough for Katie to hand her another beer, popping one open herself as she listened. Soon the story was over and Tobin felt a little warmer and a lot lighter. 

“Sounds like she is scared,” Katie said simply. “If I was her, I would be scared too.”

“Scared of what?” Tobin asked sipping her almost gone beer. 

“Loosing you,” Katie chuckled. “Tobin you are going off to school, and you two will be so far away, and on different time zones, with different schedules. Talking everyday is going to be tough, it’s going to be the most challenging thing in the world. Combine that with the fact that you two have only been together for like a month or so. Then add in college being the place you ‘discover yourself’ that really scary. Having a super pretty soccer player around you twenty-four seven, one you know you have a chance with. Yeah she should be scared, she should be worried. She would be a fool not to be.”

Tobin lowered her head feeling kind of silly for never thinking of it that way. “What am I supposed to do? I mean I have no way of reassuring her, do I?”

“Not really,” Katie said giving the same shrug her little sister always did. “They only thing you can do is show her everyday that you’re not giving up. Let her know all the time that you are there, that you aren’t going anywhere.”

“I can do that,” Tobin said enthusiastically.

Katie sat up, leaning forward, getting closer to her sister. “Tobin, it’s going to be hard, way harder than you think. But if Alex is that girl, if she’s your girl, which I kind of think she is, then it will be worth it.”

“You think she’s my girl?” Tobin asked with hopeful eyes. 

Katie let out a small laugh, “Little sis, I have been watching you watch this girl since you were like eight years old. How do you think I figured out you were gay, it wasn’t your complete lack of interest in boys, it was the fact that you stared at Alex Morgan every chance you got.”

Tobin smiled, lowering her head, “I really like her Katie.”

“I know you do,” she answered taking another drink, “And she really likes you. I actually had a conversation with Jeri about it one time.”

“You did?” She looked up in shock. 

Laughing some more, “We had the same Spanish class, and she was talking to me about going to the soccer game to watch Alex play, this was when you guys were in the eighth grade. I told her I was going to watch you play and she was like “you’re Tobin Heath’s sister?” And I was like yeah. She told be about how Alex talked about you all the time, never to her directly and never anything major, just about how you played and how sweet you were, and she got the impression that Alex had a crush on you. Of course I told her that I thought you had a crush on Alex too. We laughed and that was kind of that, we never really talked about it after that.”

“Well, I guess everyone knew but me,” Tobin huffed, 

“You knew,” she said sweetly, “You knew how you felt about her, you just weren’t ready for it yet, and I was never going to push you. When Perry told me about you and Alex, I wasn’t shocked, I knew you’d find her eventually.”

Tobin smiled up at her, “Could have warned me.”

“No way,” Katie chuckled, “You’re story is way too cute, it needed to happen this way.” She paused for a second, putting her hand on her sisters shoulder, “Just keep reminding her, and if anything ever changes, be honest.”

“Yeah,” she said drinking the last of the beer, “I can do that.”

“Good stuff little sis,” Katie smiled. “Now let’s get inside before mom comes home and sees us out here drinking.”

 

—

 

It was almost midnight, Tobin had been up all night. She got in the house, and ate some food before going to her room and shutting the door to get some peace and quiet. Katie and Perry were in the room across the hall talking loudly about school and some boys they thought were cute. She needed to think, without interruption, work out everything in her mind, find a way to reassure Alex that she wasn’t going anywhere, but her mind was going crazy, jumping all over the place.

There was one thing her mind kept jumping to, the fight with Christen, not Alex’s part, but all the things Christen said, the idea that they may have been together if Alex hadn’t walked back into Tobin’s life the exact time that she did. There’s an idea in the world that what is suppose to happen will happen, that there is no changing it, there’s no altering the path of someone, it is always going to play out they way it was meant to. Was Alex supposed to walk into the store right at the moment Tobin was ready to ask Christen out on a date? Was she supposed to block the path forcing Tobin to see her again, to see how much she truly cared for Alex, had cared, and never really stopped. Maybe if the timing wasn’t so perfect, may Christen would be the one she was pining over right now, maybe they would be together. What does that even mean, does it mean Alex was the person she was meant to be with? Or was Alex a deviation from the real plan?

Christen was going to the same school as her, she was going to live down the hall. Christen was friends with a whole group of people who accepted Tobin without question. She was on the soccer team, she had a similar style to Tobin. She was shy and nervous and soft spoken except when she was truly excited. In all instances Christen was perfect, on paper. 

Alex was the one person in Tobin’s life that she couldn’t talk to, that she couldn’t breathe around. Since the beginning Alex made her heart race, made her mind go blank, made her sweat, made her so confused at times it was hard to tell what was up and what was down. In school Tobin would have killed for a moment like she had in the store, a chance to summon up the courage to say hello, to ask her out. Maybe if she wasn’t such a big loser she would have asked, and Alex wouldn’t have ever dated that horrible girl that hurt her. Maybe if she spoke to her in the eighth grade Alex would have brought out this new version of her, maybe she would have had a lot of friends, maybe she would have been popular, maybe she would have come out to the world, to her parents, and she would have said yes when Berkeley offered her a scholarship. Maybe she would be going with Alex to school, and they would be in love and they would stay together. 

Maybe, this was the challenge. Maybe this was God’s way of making Tobin work. Throughout her entire life Tobin has always been quietly on the sidelines, unnoticed and therefore uncaring. Sure she worked hard in school, worked even harder at soccer, went to church every week, volunteered at dog shelters, was kind to anyone who spoke to her even if she couldn’t speak back, she donated half her allowance to homeless shelters since she was four years old, but all that hard work never went to the one thing she really craved. She wanted friends, she wanted acceptance, she wanted someone to look at her the way Alex was looking at her now. She wanted to be loved, and she never put any effort into it. Love is hard, love is the hardest thing in the world to do and maybe, just maybe this was God telling her to work. She needed to work for Alex, do whatever it took, because if she was going to love that girl the way she was meant to it was going to take work. 

Love.

_Holy shit I’m in love._

Tobin sat up in bed, the idea forming in her mind. She had already told Alex she was falling in love, but she wasn’t sure if she was there yet, it was too soon, right? Maybe not, maybe she was in love and that’s why she couldn’t sleep. This was the reason her mind wouldn’t stop, because she was in love and it was hard to sleep, hard to be calm knowing Alex might be hurting. She had to figure it out. 

She got it in her head to get up, go to Alex, make sure she was okay, whatever it took. There was a knock, it wasn’t the door, it was at the window. Tobin got out of bed and pulled back her curtains, outside her window was Alex Morgan.

Tobin opened the window, “Alex, what are you doing here?”

She was squatting on the roof, staring over at Tobin, “Are you gonna let me in?”

“Yeah,” Tobin said moving so she could crawl through the window. 

“I’m sorry, I had to see you.”

Tobin looked out the window before closing it, “How’d you get here? I don’t see your car.”

“I ran.” Alex said quickly.

“You ran ten miles.” Tobin asked in shock. 

She shook her head, “No I cut through the park, it was only like five.” She started to pace the room, “I just needed to see you. I needed to talk to you.”

Relief poured over Tobin, she was happy to know Alex was thinking the same thing. “Okay, what’s up?”

Alex was still pacing, rubbing her hands together, her eyes searching the room for something to focus on. “I just couldn’t sleep thinking that you think that I am mad at you, because I’m not mad. I know it was kind of a dick move not letting you sleep over tonight, especially since you sleep with me every Thursday. I just needed to think, just for a while. Then I was awake and I was thinking that you must be so upset that I practically kicked you out, at least pushed you away and that’s not what I meant to do at all. I just… I just…”

“Alex,” she grabbed her shoulders squaring the panicking girl, “Slow down. Just tell me what’s going on.”

Her voice was so soothing, that low tone that she hit whenever she was serious and concerned, it was the voice that gave Alex chills, and calmed her down. “I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” the panic in Alex’s eyes was breaking her heart, “Lex, I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you are,” she said, her voice ragged, “You’re going to North Carolina and I’m not. You’re going to be so far away, and I am so scared you’re going to figure out that you don’t want that. I’m scared you’re going to figure out that you don’t want to wait, that you don’t want to be so far away from physical contact, that you want more, and that Christen is going to look like the perfect person…”

“Stop.” Tobin interrupted her. She took a deep breath, letting her hands fall away from Alex’s shoulders. “I don’t want to be with Christen.” She took a step back, needing to collect her thoughts before she spoke. “I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t walk into the store, there is no way for me to tell how that version of my life would have turned out, but that’s not what my life is now. You did walk in. You did speak to me. You did ask me out, and I said yes, and I don’t regret it. I have one regret, and that’s not talking to you sooner. I regret not speaking up in high school, not giving you this earlier in life, not making sure we had a strong foundation before we have to be apart. I regret not getting to know the real you, not letting myself be brave enough to be with you. Because Alex… Jesus… I am in love with you. And I am in this, okay? I am in this. I want this. I want you and no one else.” Tobin walked forward, closing the gap between them. “I know it’s scary. I know it’s crazy. I know we are young and are going to college and we might change into different people, but we are going to change together, and we will grow together. I’m not afraid of the distance. I am not afraid of the time. I am only afraid of not having you. I know it may not be something you’re ready for, and I can wait, I can wait until you’re ready. I can wait until you can say it back. I can wait because…”

“I love you.” Alex said quickly. “I love you Tobin Heath.”

“Yeah?” She asked with her sweet smile. 

“Yeah,” Alex replied, a smile appearing on her face.

Tobin grabbed her waist, “So you’re in this. You want this.”

“Yes,” Alex said with a little laugh, “I want this. I want you.”

Tobin lunged forward, backing her into a wall and kissing her so hard it knocked the wind from the both of them, but they didn’t need air, they needed each other. She kissed her hungrily, her hands pushing her against the wall, her thigh falling between Alex’s legs, putting pressure on her core. 

Alex’s head was spinning, her body going insane. She felt Tobin kiss across her jaw, attaching her lips to her neck. She tangled her hands in Tobin’s hair pulling her closer, “Tobin I need you.” She hissed out feeling the soft lips on her neck. “I need you right now.”

The amped up girl tore herself away enough to look at her girlfriend. Alex Morgan was always beautiful, but when she was like this, her lips a bit swollen, her eyes dark, she was the most beautiful thing in the whole world and there was no way for Tobin to ever deny her any request. 

“We have to be quiet,” Tobin whispered. 

Alex nodded, her mind only on one thing. She was ready to speak when she felt Tobin’s hands grab her legs, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She wrapped her legs around her, and let herself be walked to the bed. Tobin’s bed was soft, the blankets surrounding her as she was placed down. It was warm and inviting, and smelled like Tobin and it made Alex’s body go insane. She reached down, pushing her shorts off, taking her panties with them. There was no waiting, no going slow, this is what she needed. 

Tobin didn’t hesitate, she ran her hand down the inside of her thigh, the skin there soft to the touch. Within a few seconds, she hurried her fingers inside Alex, causing her back to arch, and her mouth to open. She felt Alex’s head come up, and she hid her face in Tobin’s neck, muffling the moan coming from her mouth. She was close, Tobin could tell from the way she bucked her hips, the way her breathing was becoming so ragged. In an instant she fell apart, sinking her teeth into Tobin’s shoulder, keeping her cries from escaping into the room. She rode out her orgasm, pushing against her finger just a little, before she finally moved her head way, laying back in the bed. Tobin slowly removed her fingers, letting the last shivers to coarse through Alex’s body, before she laid next to her, watching her steady her breathing.

“How was that?” Tobin whispered, a goofy grin coming across her face.

Alex opened her eyes, looking at her girlfriend, “Exactly what I needed.” She giggled a little, “You’re getting pretty good at that.”

“Thanks,” Tobin gave a cheeky grin.

Alex leaned over and kissed her, making sure Tobin knew exactly how much she appreciated her, appreciated everything that she did for her, to make her feel loved, wanted, and safe. They laid in bed for a second just staring at each other, before they pulled the blankets down and finally got in bed. Alex offered to return the favor, almost insisted Tobin receive what she did, but it was late and they were in Tobin’s full house, and it was probably best to keep as quiet as possible. 

They laid there, Alex’s head resting on Tobin’s chest, listening her her heart, feeling her chest rise and fall, her favorite spot in the whole world. This was what she needed, to just be with Tobin, to feel her skin, to hear her breathe, just this. 

“You wanna know something kind of insane,” Alex asked as they settled in. 

Tobin yawned, “What’s that babe?”

“I said ‘hey’ to you in the eight grade.” She said with a little laugh, “I know that sounds kind of silly, but I kind of obsessed over it for weeks. I wasn’t out yet, well I was to Moe, but I wasn’t, the whole thing was confusing. The thing that wasn’t confusing, I was so freaking obsessed with you. You were so cute, you still are.” She tucked her hand under Tobin’s shirt tickling her stomach just enough to make her squirm a bit, waking her from her half sleep. “Moe totally knew about the crush, how could she not, I talked about you all the time. Well, she told me to say ‘hey’ to you. That was it, just go up to you and say hey, which I said no to. You and I had spoken like three times the whole time we had known each other and each time made me more nervous than the last, so there was no way I could. But one day, it was autumn, and you had on a pair of jeans, ripped at the knee of course, and this blue hoodie on, it was a little too big for you and the sleeves went past your hands, and you had to push them up to use the lock on your locker. Your hair was kind of messy, up in a bun, the way you normally wore it. And I don’t know, it was just the day. I took a huge breath, I marched over to you and I said ‘hey’… and you said nothing.”

“I remember that,” Tobin said said with a puff of air, “I remember that day.”

“Why didn’t you say hey back?” Alex asked softly. 

The real answer was because that was the day Katie announced she was going to school in Washington state and Tobin was distraught over not being able to see her oldest sister. She was torn up and didn’t know how to express it because she didn’t know how to express anything at that time. She was such an emotional wreck from absolutely everything and nothing that it was impossible for her to do anything, especially say hey to the one girl in her life that made her stomach do flips. 

“You made me nervous,” she gave Alex the half answer. 

Alex lightly scratched at the soft skin on Tobin’s stomach, “Imagine if you would have said hey back.”

_Yeah imagine._

 

—

 

It was Friday afternoon and Tobin was staring at herself in the mirror wondering if her outfit was okay. She woke up early, got Alex up and they got out the house before everyone else woke up. They spent the morning hanging around Alex’s house watching crappy infomercials and eating pancakes. They took a run in the afternoon, and a few practice shots in the back yard before it was time for Tobin to leave and get ready for the dinner. Now she was standing waiting for Alex to let her know she was on the way to the house. 

“You nervous?” Perry asked standing in Tobin’s door way.

She turned to face her older sister, “Yeah, super nervous.”

Perry step forward pushing her little sisters hair out of her face, “Don’t be, they will love her just like we did.”

“I hope so.” She said with a nervous smile. 

They headed downstairs together, and helped Katie set the table for dinner. Their mom made roast with mashed potatoes and green beans, a typical dinner that shouldn’t pose any problems. Alex wasn’t a picky eater, as she stated to her mother the five times she asked, and roast was simple, easy, non controversial, if food could even be controversial. It didn’t matter anyway, roast was good. 

Alex texted Tobin when she was five minutes, and again when she was ready to knock on the door. A few seconds after the text a soft knock came to the door and Striker ran over barking, waiting for the door to open. Tobin went over moving the giant dog out the way and opening the door to see Alex. She was in a nice shirt, a button up without a collar, a pale green that looked nice against her skin. She had on skinny jeans and a pair of black converse, simple and beautiful just like Tobin thought she would be. 

“You look nice,” Tobin smiled. 

“Thanks, I wasn’t really sure what to wear, so I decided to go simple.” She said pulling on the bottom of her shirt. 

Tobin looked her up and down one time, “You look great.”

Alex stared back at her, their eyes meeting for a second. “Well, can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Tobin chuckled, “yeah come in.”

They walked into the dining room, Katie and Perry greeting Alex with warm hugs. Their mom was still cooking, but she greeted Alex sweetly and insisted Alex not do any work even though she asked if she could help. Much to Tobin’s surprise her mom was pleasant, but then again, she didn’t really know who Alex was, so she had no reason to be rude. As the food was being set on the table Tobin’s dad walked into the house from the garage. 

“You must be Alex,” he said in his deep voice. 

Alex held out her hand, “Yes sir, I’m Alex Morgan.”

He shook her hand firmly, giving a kind smile, “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Heath.” Alex stated. 

So far she was doing great and Tobin was as relaxed as the situation would allow her to be. Everyone sat down, they said grace and then dinner was started. Alex sat across from Tobin, that seat normally empty at the eight person table. Tobin wished Alex was next to her, she always put her hand on Tobin’s knee whenever she was nervous, but it was probably best to not make any real contact, besides the dinner was going great, and Tobin had no real reason to be so nervous. 

 

“I always knew you would go somewhere great,” Tobin’s dad stated after learning Alex was going to Berkeley for soccer. “You and Tobin connected really well on the field, I knew you were going to some great school. It’s good, you’re a real talent.”

Alex blushed a little, “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m a little nervous to go all the way to California, but I’m excited.”

“I went to California when I was a young man,” he responded, “Before I was married, before I had these four. I drove there with my friends. We all piled in this old Jeep Cherokee and took off, didn’t tell a single soul. We ended up in LA on the beach, laying out just getting sun, trying to convince girls we were famous.”

“That sounds so awesome,” Alex smiled. 

Tobin chimed in, “Yeah dad, I didn’t know you did something that cool.”

“That was a past life,” he said with a little shake of his head, “Something crazy to do before college. It was one of the best trips I had ever taken. I considered staying out there, going to community college, trying to make it in LA, but I didn’t.”

“Why’d you come back?” Alex asked. 

He smiled, the same smile Tobin had, “I ran out of money.” He let out a loud laugh. “We ran out of cash in two weeks, had to work as dishwashers just to earn enough gas money to get us back to the east coast before school started. Lucky we did though, I wouldn’t have met that girl over there, had these four crazy kids.”

“That’s super cool, dad,” Tobin smiled. It was the first time she heard that story, heard about the crazy reckless side of her father. They had talked about him being kind of crazy in his youth, but nothing like that. It made her look at her dad in a different light, a cooler light. “What about you mom, you ever sneak off across the country?”

“Oh gosh, no,” she said with a huff as if the idea was insane. “Unlike your father I stayed put, I never needed to run to the beach and go broke. I did however go to Arizona on a school trip, and we drove into south California for the day, it was really beautiful there.”

“I can’t wait for the sun,” Alex said sweetly, “I think that’s going to be the best part.”

“You got that right.” Tobin’s dad responded. 

 

They continued talking until dinner was over, Alex was charming and sweet and made everyone laugh. They all cleaned up Alex heading into the kitchen to help put up dishes even though Tobin’s mom insisted she didn’t need to help, but the fact that she did made it even better. Tobin was clearing the table when her dad called her over and took her into the garage. 

“Yeah?” Tobin asked closing the door behind her as she stepped down into the garage.

Her dad leaned against the wooden work bench, his arms crossed, “She’s a sweet girl.” 

Tobin pushed her hands in her back pockets, “Yeah she is.”

“Smart, funny, mature, all those great things.” He was speaking as if he wanted Tobin to say something, and she wanted to talk, but couldn’t find the words, so he continued to speak. “California is a long way away from North Carolina.”

Tobin nodded her head, “Yeah, I know.”

“You sure you want to be in a relationship with someone that far away?”

She looked up at him, “I…” 

His face was neutral at first, waiting to see Tobin’s reaction, then it turned to a smile. “It’s going to be hard Tobin.”

That was it, that was her father saying everything without saying it. That was his way of saying, I know you’re gay and I’m okay. That was this quiet mans way of making sure his daughter knew he loved her no matter what, that he loved her for everything that she was, that he accepted her. Nothing more needed to be said, it was a secret silent language Tobin had with her father. A million things could be said in one sentence and they were both okay with it. Neither of them wanted to go through the awkward coming out, and they didn’t have to. He knew, he loved her, and she knew that. 

“It’s worth it,” she said simply, “I love her.”

He stepped forward wrapping her into a big hug. Her father always smelled like saw dust, like he had just cut down a tree. It was the smell that made her feel comfortable when she was little and scared and didn’t know what to do. He always held her tight and she would burry her face in his stomach when she was small, then his chest when she was a little bigger, and now in his shoulder because she could reach, and still he smelled like saw dust and still she was comforted by it. 

“As long as you are happy,” He said holding her tight. 

“I love you dad.” She replied. 

He pulled away, his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes, “I love you Tobin, I always will. You’re my little girl, and nothing could ever make me love you less.”

Tobin let one tear fall down her cheek, “Thanks dad.”

The conversation was over, they hugged for a minuet longer, before heading back into the house. Tobin almost cried, not at the coming out part, but for thinking her dad would react any other way. He was always calm, cool and collected a simple man that Tobin always wanted to model herself after. He was the easy one, now she needed to find a way to tell her mom, and that was not going to go as well.

Alex was in the kitchen, helping rinse out the pans from dinner. She was deep in conversation with Tobin’s mom and sisters, and Tobin stood just outside to listen in. 

“So Tobin tells me, you don’t have a boyfriend.” Tobin’s mom said to Alex. 

Tobin clinched her fist, of course this was the subject that was automatically brought up. Her mother couldn’t just leave it alone. 

“No, I don’t,” Alex said simply, not really sure what to do in the situation.

“Well a pretty girl like you shouldn’t worry,” her mom said cheerfully, “I’m sure the boys will be lining up at the door when you get to school.”

Alex laughed a little looking over to the older girls in the room, “I mean, maybe, I don’t know.”

“Oh sure they will,” she said happily, “But it’s okay to stay single, focus on school, don’t let boys distract you.”

“I won’t,” Alex said with a chuckle, “Trust me.”

Before her mom could say anything else, Tobin stepped into the kitchen, “Hey Lex, can I talk to you for a second.” They left the kitchen going just up the stairs out of ear shot. “How’s it going in there?”

“Uh, I’m killing it.” Alex responded cheerfully, “We can’t be together anymore.”

She lowered her eyebrows, “Why? What happened?”  
“Because you’re parents want to adopt me.” Alex smiled, “Your mom literally said she would take me in if I wanted. Don’t know why, but whatever I am so down. I’m becoming Alex Heath.”

Tobin smiled lowering her head a bit, “How about you become Alex Heath a different way.”

“Yeah,” Alex giggled, “One day, right?”

“Right,” Tobin said firmly. Her brain caught up with her and she realized what she had just said. She looked up at Alex, into her blue eyes, “Right.” She repeated. 

Alex put her hand up, touching her cheek softly, “right.” She whispered before leaning in to kiss her. 

Tobin wasn’t thinking, her mind was on the statement, what it meant, how it made her feel. She had made a choice to make sure Alex knew she wasn’t going to runaway, that she was in this for the long hall, but her mind never really ventured into that. The thought was nice, thinking about Alex in that way, as someone so crucial to her life. It was nice knowing they were on the same page. 

The kiss lasted longer than it should have, they were broken apart by Perry’s voice softly calling Tobin’s name. When she looked down the stairs her sister and her mother were staring up at them. Perry lowered her head, and her mom simply walked away. 

Tobin ran down the stairs chasing after her mother finding her in the kitchen running water into a sauce pan. 

“Mom?” Tobin asked softly. 

“It might be time for your friend to head home Tobin. It’s getting late.” Her voice was cracking as she spoke, “I don’t want her driving at night.”

“Mom, can we please talk first?” She asked moving further into the kitchen.

“Maybe after I finish the cleaning,” her mom responded without looking over to her.

Tobin stepped closer, “Maybe we should talk now, about that, about Alex.”

“There’s nothing to talk about Tobin,” her words were getting harsh.

“Mom,” she said again, nervous about what she had to do, but there was no going back. “Alex is my girlfriend…”

“Tobin…” 

“Mom, I’m…”

“Tobin, not right now…”

“Yes right now,” Tobin finally snapped, “Right now…” she took a breath. “I’m gay.”

She dropped the pot in the sink, “Tobin I said not right now.”

“Then when?” She yelled, “When can we talk about this.”

“I don’t know,” she lowered her voice, composing herself. “When you’re friend has gone home.”

“Girlfriend!” Tobin shouted, “Alex is my girlfriend.”

“Tobin,” she said sternly. “Not right now.”

That was it, she wasn’t going to get through to her, not now, not like this, and she didn’t want to try. Tobin walked out the kitchen, walked through to the stairs where Alex was standing with Perry, both of them looking like they were about to cry. 

“Come on Lex, we need to go,” Tobin said holding back her own tears. 

Alex stepped down off the step taking Tobin’s hand, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I can’t stay here,” She said shaking her head. 

“Tobin,” Perry reached out putting a hand on her little sisters shoulders. 

“I know Per,” Tobin sniffled, a tear trying to find its way down her cheek “I love you.”

Perry lowered her head a bit, then looked up at her, “I love you too.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow or something,” Tobin said simply. 

Perry nodded lowering her hand and letting her sister go. 

 

They walked out the house, getting in Alex’s car and driving off. It was only when they turned the first corner away from the house that Tobin let herself cry, tears coming hot and heavy down her cheeks. This wasn’t the way she wanted that to go, this wasn’t how her mom was supposed to find out. Her reaction echoing in Tobin’s mind. 

_Not now… You’re friend… Nothing to talk about._

What the hell was she supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's going to happen to Tobin?


	29. What we need (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin wakes up from her night of drinking to face the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie this is some sad shit.
> 
> Sorry for the remarkably late update. I am moving for the ninth time and it has been a scene. 
> 
> Enjoy.

The sound of water woke Tobin from her drunken sleep. She opened her eyes, hiding them from the light shinny through the cracked door. Flipping over in the bed she tried to moisten her dry lips, but her mouth was just as dry. She took her hand away from her eyes and looked around the room, this wasn’t her room, or Lindsey’s, so how the hell did she get home last night? Just as she was searching the room with her eyes, but not moving her head, the water that was running was turned off, and the light from the other room clicked off and someone walked into the room. Tobin turned her head enough to see Christen coming into the room.

“Chris?” Tobin sat up the best she could, “Where are we?”

Christen stood away from the bed looking down at the clearly miserable girl, “Sam’s house.”

She looked around the dim room, nothing in the room really screamed Sam at her, but seeing as she couldn’t remember leaving the party she had to trust Christen. 

“My head feels like it’s been split open,” Tobin stated holding her hand up to her head, she was hot, and thirsty and her eyes didn’t want to stay open.

“That’s what happens when you go on a binder,” Christen said in a flat tone. 

Tobin looked over at her girlfriend, she had her arms crossed, her lips pressed together and she was doing that stance, the one with her legs shoulder with apart, weight equally distributed; that solid stance she did when she was angry about something. 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin said quickly, trying her best to sit up all the way. “I know I screwed up big time, and I am so sorry.” 

Tobin was trying to speak but her mouth was so dry it felt like her lips were sticking together. Christen watched her struggle to moisten her mouth, feeling sorry for the helpless girl, she grabbed the water bottle on the dresser next to her and tossed it to Tobin. 

After downing the entire bottle, Tobin looked up with a smile, “I really needed that.” But Christen wasn’t smiling. “Babe, I’m so sorry.”

“For which part, Tobin?” She asked coldly. Looking at he confused look on the other girls face, Christen took a step forward, but refused to uncross her arms, “Are you sorry for leaving me at dinner Wednesday night? Are you sorry for missing dinner with my parents? What about for the way you acted on the field Thursday? Or maybe, going to a party and dancing with some random girl? Which one are you sorry for? All of those? Some of those? Or maybe you are sorry for sending your fucking tape to other countries and getting accepted to play in fucking Scotland?”

Tobin felt her heart stop in her chest, her hungover brain was trying to form words but non were coming out. She swallowed hard, looking up at Christen trying to read her face. The look that was on her face didn’t seem like anger, no it was something different, something way worse, she was sad. 

“When were you going to tell me about Scotland?” Christen asked coldly. 

“Today,” Tobin said hanging her head, “I was going to tell you today.”

“After you hung out with everyone else, after you and Lindsey were done discussing it.” She put her hands on the top of her head, pulling her head back just a little and taking a deep breath. “You discuss everything with Lindsey now, instead of me.”

“That’s not true,” Tobin said quickly. 

“Isn’t it?” She snapped back. “You sent your tape out without even thinking about me.”

Tobin swung her legs over the edge of the bed, “I did think about you.”

“No, you didn’t, Tobin.” She said with a small sinister sounding laugh, “You didn’t think about me because you were too busy being you, this you, this new version of you that is so caught up in her friends that she would miss an extremely important dinner just to go to party.”

“I’m sorry about the dinner,” she dragged her hands down her face, trying to get her brain to function properly so she could really tell Christen how sorry she truly was. “We can reschedule the dinner, any day you want, and I promise I’ll be there.”

Christen shook her head, “No, we can’t Tobin.”

“Yeah we can,” she said with a hopeful smile, “Listen, I know I screwed up. I know I’ve been screwing up a lot lately, and I know I have a lot to work on, but I am going to work on it. I’m going to work hard, I promise, harder than I have ever worked on anything in my life.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Christen said with a sigh. 

Tobin scooted closer to the edge of the bed reaching her hand out toward Christen, “Of course it matters. Please, babe, reschedule the dinner. Please let me make this up, I can make this up, I can fix this.”

“You’re not listening, again,” Christen snapped. She took a deep breath, looking over as Tobin dropped her outstretched hand. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, “Tobin, you’re everything that I want.”

“And you’re everything I want,” Tobin said quickly. 

“Just listen,” she said putting a hand on Tobin’s leg, stopping it from bouncing, “You are everything I want. You are so smart, and sweet and funny, and beautiful, and I couldn’t even tell you how lucky I feel that you want to be with me.” She looked over to those brown eyes, shaking a bit, “Tobin, I am so in love with you.” She said softly. “I’ve been so afraid to tell you that, to tell you that I love you.”

Tobin perked up, “Chris I love…”

Christen leaned in and kissed her lips softly, stopping her words, she could feel Tobin kissing back timidly. She raised hand up to cup her cheek, her pinky finger touching just under her strong jaw. “I love you so much.” She said as she pulled away just enough for them to rest their foreheads together. Christen was breathing in the hot air created between them, and a tear started to flow down her cheek. “You are everything that I want… But you’re not what I need right now.”

“What?” Tobin whispered softly, “What are you saying?” Her eyes were closed tight, trying to block out the idea, “What do you mean?”

“Tobin,” she paused, needing a second to will her lips to form the words, in one single breath she answered, “I don’t think we should be together right now.”

“Don’t,” Tobin breathed out, “Don’t do this. I’m sorry, I can fix this. I can work harder.”

Christen finally stood up, breaking contact, leaving her self feeling as empty as Tobin looked. “It’s not about working harder Tobin, it’s just about who you are right now, who I am, and what we both need.”

“I’m still me Chris, I swear, I’m still me.” Tobin pleaded her voice cracked and broken. “I need you, okay? You’re what I need.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, just barely audible, “I love you Tobin.”

“If you love me, why are you leaving?” Her voice was shaking as she squeezed the words out. 

Christen opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, there was nothing left to say.

Tobin looked up at her, speechless. 

As if her whole world didn’t just come crashing down, Christen gave one last look at the girl she loved, then turned and left the room, the door closing behind her. 

Tobin felt like breaking, she felt like falling apart. Her heart may have been beating in her chest, but she couldn’t feel it, she could sense it after the door had closed. She could feel the tears rolling hot down her cheeks. She could feel her hands shaking, her brain pounding in her head. She cold feel the cold on her back. She could feel the anger rising up inside her. 

Getting up, she felt like a robot, she needed to get out of this room, she needed to be somewhere else. Tobin grabbed her shirt from the corner of the room throwing it on, then pulling her socks and shoes on. She walked into the bathroom, wincing when she turned the light on. She looked at herself in the mirror, her face was streaked with tears. She splashed some water on her face, making sure to get ride of the salt traces. She had a hair tie on her wrist, she tied her hair into as neat of a bun as she could possibly get. She looked put together, but she was far from it. 

Walking out the room, she saw Alex and Sam sitting on the couch, and Lindsey was in the kitchen drinking an entire glass of water. She looked from the couch to the kitchen, without saying a word, she headed for the door. 

“Christen is gone,” Alex said standing up.

Tobin stopped and looked over at her, “I know.” Her voice was still shaking, she took a deep breath, “We broke up.”

Sam stood up, “What? How?”

“I’m shit,” Tobin said with a little shrug, “She was right to leave. She was right to break up with me.” She reached for the door handle. 

“Tobs, dude, wait.” Lindsey called out jogging over to the door, “I’ll drive you home.”

“I don’t want you to drive me home,” Tobin said with some bite to her voice. “I don’t want anything from you.”

Lindsey took a step back, “What? Why? What did I do?”

Tobin turned, her jaw set, “Are you serious? Lindsey this is all your fault.”

“What? No way.” She answered crossing her arms. 

“Yes way, you did this. You’re the one who needed me that night, because you were so freaking heart broken, you took me away from her, that was the start. Then you insisted I send my tape out so I could be in Europe with you.” She was shouting, taking small steps towards the defensive girl, “You took me to that party to be your fucking wingman, you could have told me to go to dinner.”

“No, no way dude,” Lindsey said pointing her finger at Tobin, “You sent your tape, you said yes to Glasgow City, you asked me about the party…”

“And you should have stopped me!” Tobin yelled, scaring everyone in the room when her hands flew into the air, “You’re supposed to be my friend, you’re supposed to have my best interest at heart, you should have told me no, you should have made me go to dinner, talk to Chris, figure it out, but you didn’t. You wanted someone to party with, you wanted someone so you wouldn’t feel so goddamn alone.”

Lindsey took a step back recoiling in herself, “Wow… That’s really harsh”

“It is?” Tobin screamed, “It’s true. You wanted me to go with you so you could hook up with yet another girl because you can’t have Sam. And you know what, it’s pathetic.”

“Tobin,” Alex said putting a hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “Maybe you should calm down, before you say something you’ll really regret.”

Tobin looked from the blue eyed girl over to Lindsey who looked as if she was going to either burst into tears, or start swinging. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” She tore away from Alex and stormed out the door. 

She heard the words come out of her mouth, she knew how much they would hurt her friend, but she wanted to hurt someone, she wanted to hurt someone as much as she was hurting. She felt like her heart was falling out of her chest, like her lungs were going to explode, like her world was crashing and burning, and she just wanted someone else to feel that way too, she didn’t want to be alone in her misery. 

It was about five minutes into her walk home when she heard a horn behind her, Alex was driving up. 

“Tobin get in the car,” Alex yelled through the window. 

Tobin waved her hand, “I’m fine Alex, just let me walk.”

“It’s a twenty mile walk,” She said, driving slowly next to Tobin, “Let me give you a ride, please.”

“Alex, just leave me alone. I need to be alone,” She kept her head facing forward, she couldn’t look at her, not when she wanted to cry so badly, and was struggling to keep it together. 

Alex drove up to the nearest stop sign and put the car in park, getting out the car and rushing over to Tobin, “Get in the car.”

Tobin shook her head, wiping away the one tear that escaped, “I’m fine.”

“Tobin Powell Heath, get in the goddamn car right now,” Alex yelled, one hand on her hip and the other pointing towards the parked car. “You’re going to get you ass in that car, and I am going to tell you how to get your girl back.”

Her head popped up at the last sentence, Alex was going to help her get Christen back. Was that possible? Christen just broke up with her. She just told her that she wasn’t what she needed. How in the world was she going to get her back. It was impossible.

“I…” Tobin opened her mouth to speak, but after the first word, she started to cry, “She doesn’t want me Lex.”

“God, you’re insane,” Alex huffed, then wrapped her arm around Tobin’s shoulders pulling her in, “She loves you, but she is scared. You need to show her that you can do this, that you want this. All you have to do is prove it to her.”

Tobin looked up, her vision blurry from tears, “But… How?”

“Well, if you get in the car, I’ll tell you.” Alex smiled. 

Tobin nodded her head, drying her face with her t-shirt. She moved slowly to the passengers seat of the car, and as the started the drive back to her house, Alex told her exactly what she needed to do.

 

—

 

Alex had started talking as soon as the car was put in drive. First she went over how stupid Tobin had been, pointing out all the things she had done wrong since they got back from Boston. Tobin couldn’t do anything but listen, after all everything Alex was saying was the truth, she had been stupid since Boston, she had taken advantage of Christen’s calm and patient personality, and traded in time with her girlfriend in order to spend time with her friends. Alex had zero issue telling her about every single incident she knew about, and what Tobin should have done instead. 

Next she went through how great Christen was and how Tobin was lucky to even have her. Again Tobin sat in silence and listened because Alex spoke the truth. Christen was the most amazing person she had ever met and the fact that she even noticed Tobin was a freaking miracle, let alone Christen loving Tobin and putting up with all her shit. Alex pointed out every single time she would have punched Tobin if they were dating and Tobin agreed that Christen should be granted a few punches for Tobin being so stupid. 

After all that was done, and Alex thoroughly pointed out all the faults she set into a plan to fix it all. She gave Tobin a vague idea of what she needed to do leaving enough space for Tobin to fill in the blanks herself. At the end of it all she had a okay plan to try to get her girlfriend back but the sting of the break up was still fresh in her chest, building pressure as the drove. 

As they drove through town, Tobin started to see all the spots in the town where she shared moments with Christen. They drove past the park and all Tobin could think about was how horrible she acted the last time they played soccer. They drove past the WaWa were Tobin didn’t pay attention to Christen when she spoke because she was too busy texting her friends. Finally they started through town and Tobin saw the street were the The Pitch was, and the idea of not being with Christen really sunk it. She may have had a plan to get her girlfriend back, but they were broken up, she broke them, and she was going to have to go to work only now Christen wasn’t going to smile through the window at her anymore. Now she wasn’t going to sneak out to the front so she could catch glimpse of her. She wasn’t going to pull her into the corner to sneak a kiss, making Christen’s cheeks turn a dark red for the rest of the day. Instead she was going to reminded every single time Christen spoke on the loud speaker about how there was a good chance she was never going to hear that voice whisper her ear anymore. There was a good chance that this break up was final, and her plan would fail and she would never get to hold Christens hand again. As the thought rolled around in her head, she turned to Alex and tried not to panic. 

“Can you just drop me off at The Pitch?” Tobin asked in a low voice, “I need to talk to Ashlyn.”  
   
Alex gave her a little half smile, “Are you sure you don’t want to go home, maybe talk to your sisters, maybe tell your parents about Scotland?”  
   
“Not yet,” she shook her head slowly, “I’ll go home after I talk to Ashlyn.”  
   
“Do you want me to wait?” she asked with a hopeful look.  
   
Tobin gave her a small smile, “No you don’t have to, I can catch a ride with Ashlyn, she gets off in a little while.”  
   
“Okay, if that’s what you want.”  
   
They drove in silence, Alex’s words flipping around in Tobin’s head. The things she needed to do, the things she needed to stop doing, the way to fix everything she messed up. She trusted Alex, she trusted what she said, to find a way to make it up to Christen, but she needed a second opinion, someone a little older; someone who had been through this before, and knew all the pros and cons, and that was Ashlyn.  
   
They arrived outside the store, Alex stopping the car, but not parking. Tobin gave her a small thank you before getting out and walking into the store. 

Ashlyn was in front, helping one of the workers put a new display up. Tobin slowly walked over and waited to be acknowledged.  
   
“Tobin, what are you doing her dude?” Ashlyn asked in a cheerful voice. “You look wrecked.”  
   
She nodded, trying to hold back her feelings, “Can I talk to you?”  
   
Ashlyn could see the hurt in eyes, something horrible had happen and there was no way Tobin was going to be able to hold it all in, “Yeah, let’s go to the back.”  
   
As soon as they got into the office the older girl closed the door, and Tobin began to cry. The tears came hot down her cheeks, burning her eyes as they fell out. She sat in the office chair and covered her face with her hands. She had held in the tears for so long, and they all burst out all of once, she was crying so hard she felt like she was going to choke on the breaths she was trying to take.  
   
“Tobin,” the older woman called out. She knelt down by the chair trying to get a look at the sobbing girls face, “What happened?”  
   
“I screwed it all up,” she cried harder, her words almost lost in her hands, “I messed up so bad, and now she’s gone.”  
   
Ashlyn was trying to make sense of the words she was hearing, “What did you screw up? Who’s gone? Tobin what’s going on?”  
   
She looked up at her, “Christen is gone, she left me.”  
   
“What?” Ashlyn asked shocked at the words, “How’d that happen?”  
“Me, I’m and idiot, I screwed it all up.” She pushed her face back in her hands, “It’s all my fault.”  
   
“Okay, you gotta try and calm down and tell me what happened.”  
   
“I can’t,” she sobbed, her breaths becoming jagged, “I can’t. It’s my fault. I can’t… I can’t breathe.” She tried to breathe in, but it was like the air was too thin, or maybe her lungs stopped working, whatever it was air was no longer going into her body.  
   
Ashlyn jumped up, “Okay, you’re having a panic attack.” She grabbed Tobin’s shoulders and had her sit back in the chair. “Hold your left nostril shut and take a breath through the right, a deep breath, then plug the right one and breathe out the left.”  
   
Tobin held her hand to her nose trying desperately to do as she was instructed. After four cycles of the breathing technique, she could finally feel her heart slow down a bit, and the air was traveling easier in and out. A few more cycles later she was breathing normally, and she sat back in the chair taking deep breaths.  
   
“Feel better?” Ashlyn asked, watching her breath easier.  
   
Tobin nodded her head, “Thanks.”  
   
“No problem,” she sat down on the desk, “No tell me what happened. Why did Christen break up with you?”  
   
With another deep breath, Tobin started on the story. She started with Boston, how she and Lindsay became friends. She went through the party and everything that happened after. She told her all about the party last night, about the dinner she missed, about how Christen asked her to spend more time, how she ignored it because of friends. Finally she got to Scotland, her tryout, her chance to go pro, how no one knew, how she did all of this without consulting her girlfriend, or anyone in her family. By the time she was done Ashlyn had her back pushed against the wall, and her eyes were wide with surprise.  
   
“Jeez, Little Me, you royally screwed up,” she said simply.  
   
Tobin looked up at her, “I know, and now I have no idea what to do.”  
   
“First thing, give Christen space. Your friend Alex is right, you need to make this up to her, but first she needs time and space. Give it a few days before you do anything drastic, let her get her mind around everything before you try to change it.”  
   
“But what if she changes her mind about loving me?” Tobin asked desperately.  
   
Ashlyn gave her a quick smile, “She won’t. Tobs, that girl is crazy about you, but the real you, not this person who you’re trying to be. Listen, I know how you feel, I kind of went through the same kind of change when I went to college. I use to be kind of quiet and reserved, because I wasn’t really sure who I was, but then I met my friends in college, and I started meeting more gay people, and I kind of came out of my shell. I went from quite to super loud and crazy, always trying to do something, always trying to entertain, because I thought if I wasn’t the cool one, if I wasn’t the one making everyone laugh that people wouldn’t want to be around me. It took a while to realize that if people didn’t want to be around me when I was quite, then they weren’t worth being around. This version of you, the version that is too busy making choices to think about the ones they effect, that’s not the real you Tobin, and you know it. You’re kind and considerate, and you always think of others before yourself. But this version of you, this one is the one that upsets your real friends.”  
   
“I know, I just, I don’t want to lose any of the friends I’m making. It’s hard being there for everyone.”  
   
“You’re spreading yourself way to thin my Pequito Amigo, you have to pick what’s most important to you. A good friend will understand that you have to spend time with your girlfriend. It’s up to you to explain it.”  
   
She nodded her head, knowing Lindsay would understand, if she actually took the time to explain it. “What do I do about Christen, you know after I give her time.”  
   
“More time,” Ashlyn said simply. “Don’t laugh, but I read to book, Love Languages, Ali made me read it, and one of the languages is quality time, seems like that’s Christen’s love language. You need to show her, without overcrowding her that you are willing to, and most importantly, you want to spend time with her.”  
   
Tobin looked up at her, “But how do I do that?”  
   
“That’s for you to figure out. She’s your girl, you know her best.”  
   
She nodded, looking down at her hands, “What about Scotland, should I not go?”  
   
“Oh no, you are definitely going to that tryout,” Ashlyn said quickly. “This is a pro tryout you can’t miss that. Even if you don’t take the contract, even if you end up going to college, don’t miss this chance, you never know what’s going to happen. Trust me, you’ll feel better saying no, then never knowing if they wanted you to begin with.”  
   
“I guess that make sense,” she said with a little smile, “Thanks for this.”  
   
Ashlyn put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder giving it a light squeeze, “Of course, that’s what I am here for.” She sat looking down at the girl who seemed to still be trying to figure everything out, “Can I suggest one more thing?”  
   
Tobin nodded, her eyes big with worry.  
   
“I have an open spot on the afternoon shift, you should switch to it.” She watched Tobin’s eye get even bigger than before, “You’d come in thirty minutes after Christen clocks out. This way you don’t overwhelm her.”  
   
“But If I don’t work with her, I’ll never see her.” Tobin pleaded.  
   
Ashlyn nodded, “No, this way you’ll have to make time for her, put in effort, and show her you care, without crowding her.”  
   
The idea was pretty simple, though not seeing Christen at work was making her heart hurt a little, “I guess I’ll trust you on this.”  
   
“I am older and wiser,” Ashlyn chuckled.

 

Tobin sat around in the back office, her head back in the seat and her eyes closed. It had been a rough two hours, and on top of that she was so hung over her brain felt like it was mush. Ashlyn had a half an hour left on her shift so Tobin took the time to sit in peace and try to get her brain to stop breaking in her skull. After a few moments to herself, she felt a little calmer, a little easier, especially now that she knew what to do about Christen. Time and space, that was going to be hard when all she wanted to do was run over to Christen’s house and beg on her knees to be taken back. Ashlyn was right though, Christen needed time to think before Tobin went filling her head with ideas, and if she was being honest with herself Tobin needed a few days to really wrap her mind around everything that was happening to her. 

In a two weeks she was probably going to be in a different country. She was going to be away from everything she knew, and if everything didn’t go as planned she might be single, and maybe even without a single friend. She treated everyone pretty bad lately, and the way she yelled at Lindsay before she left the house pretty much ended what they had. So she was alone in this, maybe for the rest of her career, that was a lot to think about. Luckily she didn’t get a lot of time to stew before Ashlyn was dragging her out to the car and they were headed to Tobin’s house. 

The car ride was almost quite, Ashlyn was speaking in small spurts, telling Tobin about being a pro, about what to expect in Europe, but nothing too much knowing Tobin’s brain wasn’t really computing much in this point in time. At the end of the drive the older woman gave a small pep talk before letting Tobin head into her house.

—

 

The first thing she needed to do was take a shower, she smelled like beer and smoke and her skin felt so dry from the night. She got into her house and headed upstairs, lucky for her everyone was gone and she had the place to herself. She took a shower, letting the hot water wash away the horrible night, clear her body of every mistake that she had made.

After the shower, she sat down on her bed. Her mind wanted to make a plan, to think of a great way to get Christen back. She wanted to do research on Scotland and who exactly she might be playing for, but the moment her body hit the bed she was out.

She woke up, her mouth dry and her body freezing in just a pair of soccer shorts and a tank top. She grabbed a bottle of water from her night stand, not caring that it had been there for a few days, and downed the room temp liquid, before getting under her covers. She looked at her phone, a few text from Alex and Sam asking if she was okay, but she just scrolled through without responding. It was almost eight, which meant she had been asleep for almost six hours, yet her body needed more, so she shut off her phone and laid her head back down. 

 

—

 

Christen had been sitting in her room, in the dark for almost a full day. The events of the last two days taking everything out of her. One minute she had this amazing girlfriend who she was falling harder for every second, the next minute she is breaking up with the person she’s not even sure she really knew to being with. Breaking up with Tobin was the hardest thing she ever had to do, it was the scariest thing she ever had to do, and it left her feeling like a big hole was in her chest, and she had no idea how to fill it. 

She drove home that morning, walked past everyone in her house, and went upstairs to her room. She flipped off the light and closed the curtains until the only light left in the room was a small sliver where the two curtains didn’t quite meet. She laid down on her bed, face down in her pillows and let the tears flow. 

It seemed like hours, she was crying, alone in her room, until the door cracked just a little letting the hall light shine through. She looked up and saw her mom with a concerned looked, but she wasn’t ready for that, not yet. She wasn’t ready for encouraging words, or hearing that it would all be okay, right now, it wasn’t okay and it felt like it would never be okay, she was missing Tobin, which meant she was missing a piece of her. Luckily her mom knew her, and she opened the door just wide enough to let the giant dog in, then slowly shut the door.

The big goofy dog quickly licked Christens face, undoubtedly trying to get the salt streaks from her tears, then quickly settled down and laid on his side, so Christen could wrap her arms around him and burry her face in his fluffy neck. He smelled like outside, but it was comforting, if anyone could make her feel any better it was this mutt. She held him close, and finally drifted off. 

She didn’t dream, the only clear thought running through her head as her body tried to rest was how much she missed Tobin. When she finally woke up Beckham was at her bedroom door lightly scratching so he could be let out. Christen looked over at the clock on her wall she had been asleep for five hours, and the dog clearly needed to use the bathroom. She got up and opened the door, laughing as the giant dog shot out the room and down the stairs. By the time Christen made it down the stairs Tyler was opening the back door to let him out. 

“Hey sis,” she said in a neutral tone, “How are you feeling?”

“Like my head is going to explode,” Christen answered holding the back on her hand to her forehead. She as warm, and her brain felt like it had been split down the middle. She was dehydrated from crying, and her body was exhausted. “Where’s mom and dad?”

“They went to grab dinner from the Chinese place that, for some odd reason, doesn't deliver." Tyler answered, again in a neutral tone, she knew what was going on with her sister, she had seen it before, and it was better to just let Christen say it, then ask her. “I got you sweet and sour chicken.”

Christen walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed and bottle of water, “I’m not hungry.” She said quietly before chugging half the bottle. 

“You haven’t eaten all day, I can tell,” Tyler said with a little smile, “You should eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” she answered back, “Tell mom and dad to save it, I’ll eat later.” She grabbed another bottle from the refrigerator then turned around and headed up stairs. 

Her room was now the perfect darkness, the sun was down and just the moonlight was shining through her curtains and it made everything better, just light enough to see. She sat down on her bed, pushing her back against the headboard and took out her phone. Part of her wanted to see texts from Tobin, she wanted to see her girlfriends… ex-girlfriends… name and messages about how sorry she was, about how’d she change, how they could be together. Part of her wanted Tobin to come over to beg forgiveness, because part of her knew if Tobin got down on her knees, if Tobin looked up with those big brown eyes and begged to be taken back, she would say yes, she would pull her in for a kiss, she would burry her face in Tobin’s neck and take in her scent, she would hold her and never let go. If Tobin came crashing through the door asking for a second chance, Christen would give it without a second thought. 

Part of her wanted the door to swing open, and in a pair of ripped jeans and a blank white t-shirt her Tobin would be there to make everything better. Tobin would be shy, with her hands pushed in her pockets and her head a little low. Tobin would walk slowly unsure of what to do or how to do it. She would ramble a little first, working up the courage to ask. When she finally asked, it would be in a rush of words, so fast that Christen would have a hard time understanding, but she already knew what was coming. And Tobin would look up at her with a hopeful half smile, one eyebrow slightly raised, and a small crease in her forehead, the worry line Christen loved so much. With that look, that shy anxious look, Christen would jump in her arms, tell her to do better, to be better, then kiss her so passionately they would fall into bed and together they would make everything better. Part of her wanted this. 

But the other part of her knew who would come through that door. It wouldn’t be her Tobin. It wouldn’t be the girl she pinned after for months. It wouldn’t be the same girl that made her heart melt with a single glance. It wouldn’t be the girl she loved. If Tobin were to come through that door, it would be new Tobin, it would be this person that was created over time and had nothing to do with who Christen loved. It would be the girl that didn’t think twice about abandoning her. The girl who danced with another girl. The one who cared more about what her friends were doing then how her girlfriend felt. It would be the dude, the bro, the bruh, the Tobister, the Tobinator, the beer drinking, high fiving, shot taking, texting, chatting monster that had been created in the last few weeks. The girl that was in Tobin’s skin. The girl that took over the sweetest person in the world. The girl that Christen couldn’t love.

Her phone didn’t show Tobin’s name. It seemed her ex-girlfriend was giving her space, or maybe she didn’t care, which ever, Tobin didn’t text. She only had one text, and she opened it. 

**Kelley:** Hey sorry to text you, but I was wondering if you had my Stanford t-shirt, the one my dad gave me. It’s my lucky shirt, you know. I just wanted it for my first day. If you have it, can you mail it to me? 

Christen started to type back, but her fingers scooted up the screen and hit the little camera button. Soon a familiar face popped up, all freckles and smiles. 

“Hey Chrissy,” Kelley said happily. 

“Hey Kels,” she answered 

Kelley lowered her eyebrows, “What happened?”

Christen shook her head, “What do you mean?”

“Chris, you’re upset, I can tell, what happened?”

It had been over half a year but Kelley still knew every single look Christen had, this one was unmistakable. Christen took a deep breath, Kelley may not have been the first person she thought of to talk to, but honestly no one knew her the way Kelley did, maybe she was the best person to talk to. 

“Tobin and I broke up.” She said as tears began to fall down her face. 

Kelley held the phone a little closer, “I’m so sorry Chris.” She looked around. “Hey let me get somewhere I can talk.”

“Kelley, go back to whatever you were doing, I’m fine. I’m sorry I called,” she cried out. 

“No, I’m good, just let me go to another room,” Kelley said with the phone shaking around. 

Christen hung her head, of course Kelley was busy, she was always busy. “Kels, it’s okay, go hang out, it’s not important.”

“Christen, you’re the most important thing in the world,” she said simply.

The words hit her right where it hurt, she felt the tears coming faster as she watched Kelley move on the screen. A door closed in the back ground and suddenly the freckle face girl was back on screen, sitting next to a window and smiling. 

“Okay, I’m good, talk to me,” Kelley said.

Christen wiped a tear from her cheek, “I hate taking you from your friends.”

“Don’t worry about that, they’ll be alright. You need me, so I am here. Talk to me.”

She took a deep breath, those were the words she had been longing to hear, only she wanted them from Tobin, but for right now Kelley would listen.

 

—

 

 

The next time Tobin woke up she saw the light poking through the curtains. That meant it was morning and she had slept the entire day way, which was good because it was the worse day of her life. Now her stomach was calling out to her, and it was time to get something to eat, since it had been almost 24 hours since she had eaten. 

The house was quite as she walked down the stairs, everyone must have been out for the day. She made her self a giant egg sandwich and clicked through her phone answering the sympathy texts she was getting. She had a plan to stay in all day, avoid everyone, maybe cry in her room for a while, but her plans were put on hold with her two older sisters walking through to front door. 

“Toby, you’re awake,” Katie said with a big smile, “We were worried about you.”

Tobin leaned against the kitchen counter, “I didn’t mean to sleep that long but…”

“You were hungover?” Perry said with a little laugh. 

Tobin nodded her head. She wasn’t shocked after all her sisters had been through it a few times themselves. “Yeah, I went to a party last night.”

“How was it?” Her oldest sister asked, brushing right past the fact that her baby sister was hungover as if it was a normal thing. 

“Pretty good, but I really screwed up.” Tobin said lowering her head. 

Perry sat down on the stool next to Tobin, “What happened Tobs?”

Tobin lowered her head, “I was supposed to go to dinner with Christen’s parents, but I didn’t go because we were in a fight.”

“Dude, that’s a big mess up?” Katie stated, “How mad is she?”

“Mad enough to break up with me.” Tobin stated simply. 

Perry jumped a little at the words, “Uh why aren’t you in a little ball crying your eyes out right now?”

“Because I am going to fix it,” she answered with confidence. “I’ve been messing up a lot, not spending time with her, not showing her how much she means to me, but I can fix that. I can show her that I want to be with her, that I can be with her, I can be everything she needs.”

“Are you sure that’s really what she needs right now Tobin?” Katie asked apprehensively, “Maybe she needs space.”

“I’m going to give it a few days, let he settle.” Tobin said trying to keep her confidence up.

“You two are going to the same school right?” Perry asked putting her hand on her worked up sisters leg, “That’s in three weeks, maybe give it till then.”

“I can’t,” she could feel her anxiety start to grow, she had to tell her sisters about Scotland, she needed to tell someone, “I can’t because I may not be going to college.”

Katie let out a little chuckle, “Of course you’re going to college Tobin, where else would you go?”

She lowered her head, “Scotland.” 

“What are you talking about Tobin?” Perry asked.

Looking up at her sister, Tobin took a deep breath trying to get the courage to say what she needed to say, “I might be going to Scotland to play for Glasgow City.”

The two older sister looked back and fourth from each other to their little sister who was rubbing the back of her neck nervously. Neither of them knew what to say so they waited for Tobin to explain. 

“That’s the other thing Chris is upset about,” she said with a little chuckle as if the whole thing was just a crazy dream. “I sent my highlight tape out to European clubs, and GCFC got back to me, they want me in the UK in two weeks to tryout, and possibly play for them next year. I kind of did it without telling Chris, or anyone really.” She looked over at her sisters waiting for one of them to explode but they were both sitting quietly waiting for Tobin to explain more, “So yeah, I got the tryout and I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t want to leave Chris, but I was talking to my boss Ashlyn yesterday, and she told me I would be crazy not to go, to see how I do, to have a chance to be pro, and she’s right. I would be insane to say no to a pro team, so I am going to the tryout, just to see if it’s something I want to do, but first, I need to get Christen back. I love her, and she’s loves me. There is no way I can go play without being with her. And I know what you are going to say before you say it; long distance relationships are hard, especially since she will be in college and I will be occupied with soccer, but we can make it work, because Chris and I are meant to be together, we are just meant to be, I can feel it. So I am going to Scotland for the tryout, but I am going to get my girlfriend back first.”

She finished talking, getting everything out in what seemed like one breath. She looked back and fourth between her sisters waiting for them to start yelling at her, but instead she felt Perry throw her arms around her neck and hold her tight.

“I am so pissed at you for not telling us about soccer until now,” she said in a happy tone, “But I am so proud of you.”

The arms around her neck were so tight it was hard to speak, but Tobin managed to croak out, “Proud of me for what?”

Perry heard the strain in her voice, and let go, “For growing up Tobs.” She looked over at the innocent smile on her face. “Tobin, I have been waiting your whole life for you to realize your potential. You are a badass soccer player, and you can go pro, if that’s what you want, you can do anything you want with the game, and it’s going to take you so many places, and I am so proud of you for putting yourself out there, for finally letting the world see you and see all this skill you have. And I have been waiting for you to find yourself in the world, to find someone you love and want to be with, and here you are, talking about love, talking about fighting for someone. You are so amazing, your are funny, and smart, and beautiful, and so much more, and you are finally out of your shell, and I can’t stop smiling, because the world is finally seeing what I have always seen in you. So we, your smarter, wiser, and all together more worldly older sisters are going to help you get Christen back, but first you have to do one thing.”

“What’s that?” Tobin asked with a smile.

“Tell mom and dad about Scotland.” Perry answered.

She hung her head, “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Like she said little sis,” Katie laughed, clapping her hand on Tobin’s back, “We are going to help you.”

 

—

Christen walked to the store as slowly as she could. This would be the first time she would have to see Tobin since they broke up, and the thought of seeing those sad puppy dog eyes was broke her heart, but at the same time she needed to see her, she needed to just see she was okay, and maybe doing better. In Christen’s mind, if Tobin was doing better, if she looked better, if she looked like she had some kind of hope in her eyes, maybe that meant there was hope for the two of them, maybe there was hope for the old Tobin to be back, to be there, and to be with her.  
   
She knocked on the door, her head hanging low, not wanting to look at Tobin until the last second, but she the door unlocked Meghan was standing there with a sad look on her face.  
   
“Tobin…” Christen cleared her throat, “Where’s Tobin?”  
   
“Not here,” Meghan said simply, moving out the way so Christen could come into the store, “She didn’t show up to work.”  
   
Christen moved slowly in the shop, “What did Ashlyn say about it?”  
   
“Nothing,” Meghan replied, locking the door. “She kind of just greeted me and started doing her work. I’m not really sure what’s going on.”  
   
The moved to the back of the store and into the stock room. Christen’s head was spinning, where was Tobin. She knew that the girl would be quite, reserved and maybe not want to see her, but she didn’t think Tobin was the type to just not show up for work.  
   
“Have you heard from her lately?” Christen asked as she clocked.  
   
The shorter girl shoved her hands in her back pocket, “We kind of haven’t talked since the last soccer game. Pretty sure she’s pissed at me.”  
   
Christen hadn’t spoken to Meghan since the soccer night, after the shorter girl tried her best to comfort her along with the rest of the girls from the group. Maybe Meghan didn’t know, if she hadn’t talked to Tobin, then maybe she was unaware they were broken up, that Christen was broken, that Tobin was broken.  
   
“Have you heard?” Christen asked in a low voice.  
   
With a slow head nod, Meghan avoided eye contact, “You broke up with her.”  
   
“Yeah,” she whispered, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks, “Yeah, we broke up, she’s… she’s going to Scotland.”  
   
“Morgan told me most of it, well everything she knew at least.” She ran her hand through her hair pushing the short brown locks back, “I don’t really know how I feel about the Scotland thing, but I know I am here for you, if you need to talk, or vent, or something.”  
   
She gave a soft smile, “Thanks Kling, I’m okay right now, I mean I’m not, but I am,”  
   
“I get it.” She returned the soft smile.  
   
Before the two girls could continue talking Ashlyn walked out the office. She leaned against the door frame giving Christen a sympathetic look. “So you two might have noticed Tobin isn’t here.” She looked at the two girls who were staring back with huge eyes waiting for an explanation. “Tobin switched to the night shift, she thought it would be better for everyone. So, yeah, someone else will be hired this week.” She looked down, past the broken hearted look on their faces, “I know it sucks, but we still need to get work done, so, try to be productive, and if you guys need to talk, let me know.”  
   
“Thanks boss,” Meghan spoke for both of them, knowing Christen wasn’t going to be able to talk after hearing Tobin had left the work shift.  
   
The tears were more than just threatening to fall now, they were escaping and Christen turned her head and walked out the stock room before anyone else could see. Tobin was gone, again, another choice she made without talking to anyone, without checking. Then again, she didn’t have to check with Christen about anything anymore, Tobin was free to do what she wanted, free to change shifts, free to go to Scotland, free to be gone.  
   
\--  
 

 

It had been almost a full day, Tobin had been to her first afternoon shift, and somehow managed to get through it without completely falling apart. Being at the store without Christen just behind the stock room door, without Meghan to talk to, it was one of the hardest things she had to do. The guy that worked the front was nice enough, and the afternoon manager was pretty cool, but they weren’t Christen and Ashlyn, and Tobin was alone in the back. 

She was saved during her dinner break, with Alex coming to take her to eat. They talked about the plan Tobin had come up with, and Alex agreed to help if she thought Christen was ready for it. Tobin was accepting that Christen may not want to see her, that she may not want to hear anything she had to say, but she hoped beyond all hope that Christen was missing her at least half as much as she was missing her and Christen would want to see her even if it was just for a small second. 

After her shift, she headed back to her house where she found Meghan sitting on her front porch waiting for her. Tobin hesitated getting out the car, her heart pounding in her chest, if she thought she was nervous to talk to Christen, she was more nervous to talk to her best friend. There was no avoiding it, she needed to do this, and it was put off for long enough. With a deep breath she got out the car and headed towards to girl nervously tapping her foot on the front steps. 

“Hey,” Tobin choked out, not having the courage to look up at her friend. 

Meghan stood up, “Hey.”

They both stood in silence, waiting for the other to yell or scream of whatever they needed to do to get this thing started. Much to both of there surprise they cut each other off with an “I’m sorry.”

“Wait, why are you sorry?” Tobin asked.

Meghan walked down the few steps. “For being a jerk about Christen.” She looked at Tobin confused, “What are you sorry for?”

“Abandoning you, for Scotland,” Tobin said as if it was the obvious answer.

“Yeah that,” Meghan shoved her hands in her pocket, “That was a real dick move, dude.”

Tobin lowered her head, “Yeah I know.”

“But I guess if I wasn’t been a clown about Christen you probably would have talked to me about it before you did it.” She admitted quickly. 

Tobin looked up at her, she had never heard Meghan so humble before, “You weren’t being a clown.”

“I was,” Meghan said with a breath, “I was trying to fix your relationship, tell you what to do and I shouldn’t have done that, I should have just let you live you life and fix it in your own time. I kind of drove you away.”

“Yeah, but I was the one that left,” Tobin moved a little closer to her, “I should have listen to you, I probably wouldn’t be in this situation if I would have just talk to Chris after the game, apologized then, fixed it instead of being a bozo and running away with Lindsay.”

Meghan nodded with a little smile, “Yeah that was really stupid.”

“Do you hate me?” Tobin asked with hopeful eyes.

“No, dude I can’t hate you,” she laughed moving an arms length away, “Trust me I tired, I wanted to hate you for Scotland, for leaving and not telling me. I wanted to hate you for going with Lindsay but honestly I could have made myself more open to you. And how in the world can I be mad at you for going pro, I probably should have pushed you to do that a long time ago, you’re too freaking good to be held back Tobs.”

“You’re not holding me back, no one is holding me back.” Tobin said quickly. 

“I am,” Meghan said back, “You’d be going to California if it wasn’t for me. You probably would have sent in your tape a long time ago and been picked up right out of school if you weren’t trying to stick with me.”

“Dude, that’s not you, thats all on me, that’s all on me never wanting to be alone.” Tobin said the words as she realized they were true. “You and I have been together since we were five, and I don’t know how to be without you and that scares me. You aren’t holding me back, I am holding me back, and Jesus Christ, I am holding you back.”

Meghan eyes got big, “How is that possible?”

“You would have had so many friends in high school if I wasn’t there dragging you down.” Tobin said with a little laugh. “Meghan everyone wanted to hang out with you, Morgan wanted to be with you, and I was the reason you didn’t have that. I was the anchor holding you back from being the real you. I kept you to myself because I didn’t know how to be by myself.”

“You never held me back, Tobin I wanted all that. I wanted all the nights we had together. I wanted all the practice days, all the time we spent studying the game. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be going to college on scholarship. You taught me soccer, you kept me focused, you made sure I practice and ate right, and worked harder than anyone on the field. You made sure I was good enough to make a college team, and you were going to make sure I made it to the pros, but now, you need to go and go show them how good you really are.”

“Dude you would have done all that without me.” Tobin said her heart filling. “You were always good enough, I had nothing to do with it. Honestly you were my motivation, you were the reason I worked so hard, I always wanted to be good so we could always be a team.”

“That was my goal too, always be a team.” She could feel a tear starting to escape. 

“We are a team, Scotland or no, you’re always my teammate, my defender, my best friend.”

“And you’re always my teammate, my middy, my best friend.” She quickly wiped the tear before it had a chance to fall down her cheeks. “So do we like, hug or something?”

Tobin chuckled, “yeah I guess we can do that.”

They quickly smashed into each other as awkwardly as the could, before settling into a long hug, holding each other tight. It had been a long time since they did that, and they both needed it. When they finally broke apart, they both pushed tears off their cheeks, then gave each other a quick smile.

“So you’re going to Scotland huh?” Meghan asked confirming what she already knew.

Tobin nodded, “I have to. I need to see if I’m good enough.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said in a low voice. “What about Chris?”

“That’s something I am going to need your help with,” Tobin said with a smile, “I have a plan.”

 

   
\--  
 

 

The doorbell rang shocking Christen out of her trance. She was sitting on the couch watching reruns of Law and Order SVU, petting her dog and trying not to think about Tobin. She had slipped into a state that lead her to stare at the television but not actually process anything that was going on. Her mind was on Tobin, on the fact that she had switched shifts at work, that she wasn’t going to college, that she was leaving the country, that she was leaving her. But the chime of the bell kept her from spiraling for the third time that day.  
   
She got up fixing her messy bun and pushing her glasses up on her nose. Standing outside was Alex, holding a white plastic bag, and smiling into the window.  
   
“What are you doing here?” Christen asked as she opened the door.  
   
Alex pushed her way into the house, “Break up ice cream.” Alex said holding up the bag.  
   
Christen gave a little smile, “You didn’t have to do that.”  
   
“Of course I did,” she said happily, “What kind of friend would I be if I let you sit here all alone. A shitty one. Real friends eat ice cream and watch trashy TV together.”  
   
The past few weeks the one thing that Christen was really happy about was she and Alex had become close friends. At first she was hesitate about the energetic girl, after all Tobin was in love with her for years, but after Boston, they sort of just clicked, and fell into this rhythm that Christen had been missing since moving across the country and leaving her best friend behind. Most days she had Hope and they could talk about everything, but now the older girl had a boyfriend and besides Alex was gay, and at the end of the day it just seemed easier to explain things to another lesbian, they just understood without actually having to explain things.  
   
Alex had been over Christen’s house exactly six times, and by now she treated it like her own, coming in, giving Beckham a quick scratch behind the ears and plopping down on the couch as if she had done it a million times before. She reminded Christen of Allie and how comfortable the blonde had always been at the Press house. It was comforting having that again.  
   
“What kind of ice cream?” Christen asked as she sat down next to Alex.  
   
“Chocolate Chocolate fudge for you,” she said handing the container over, “And Cherry Garcia for me.” She handed Christen a plastic spoon and turned towards the tv.  
   
They sat in silence or the second half of the show, both of them enjoying just having someone there. Alex was waiting for her friend to speak, for her to say what she needed to say, to talk about Tobin in her own time. There was no point in rushing this, in pushing her, it was a delicate situation.  
   
“She switched shifts at work,” Christen finally spoke up.  
   
Alex turned her head, “Yeah I know.”  
   
Christen put a scoop of ice cream I her mouth and nodded, “Ashlyn said it was for the best,” she responded.  
   
“Maybe it is,” she said softly, “Maybe it’s good for you two to have some space.”  
   
“Yeah, maybe,” she said softly, “I don’t know I just… miss her.”  
   
“It’s been two days Chris,” Alex laughed a little, “If you miss her, go tell her.”  
   
She sat back on the couch pushing her body against eh soft cushions, “I can’t.”  
   
“Why, I don’t understand.” She flipped her whole body so she was facing her friend, “You love her, you don’t want to be broken up. Why can’t you talk it out, figure it all out. I know Tobin wants the same thing.”  
   
“There’s no point.” She cried, “Tobin is leaving for Scotland in two weeks. She is going over there and she will stay over there. There’s no way Tobin is giving up going pro. She’s going to hang out with Lindsay in Europe and find some beautiful European girl to be with and forget all about me.”  
   
Alex shook her head, “Do you actually think that’ll happen.”  
   
“I was angry with her for one day and she found a gorgeous Latina to get drunk and dance with, and who knows what the hell else they would have done given the chance.”  
   
“Do you honestly think Tobin would have slept with that girl?” Alex scoffed, “She is not a cheater.”  
   
“No, she’s not, and that’s why she didn’t.” Christen answered quickly. “But if she wasn’t in a relationship she could have slept with her.” She looked down at the half empty container, “Maybe she would have, new Tobin is unpredictable.”  
   
Alex started to chuckle, “New Tobin is not unpredictable, she’s a little ridiculous, and clueless, but she is predictable, because she’s still the same Tobin as always.”  
   
Christen scoffed, standing up and taking the ice cream to the freezer. She looked back at Alex who was kneeling on the couch looking over to the kitchen at her. “Old Tobin would have never gone to that party.”  
   
“You’re right, but she also would have never been put in that situation.” She followed the tall girl with her eyes as she made it back to the couch, “Old Tobin wouldn’t know what the hell to do with herself at a party because she would never be invited to one, and even if she was she would decline it quicker than you could get the words out.” She sat back comfortably as her friend took her spot, “Trust me, I have known that girl since we were both all knock knees and covered in mud, this is not a new version of Tobin, it’s who she’s has always been, she’s just finally getting  a chance to show everyone.”  
   
“Maybe,” she responded toying with the string on her hoodie.  
   
“Tobin Heath is the most loving, caring, and compassionate person in the world. She probably cares too much honestly, and that’s why she left after dinner that night. Her friend needed her, and it’s not in Tobin to leave someone when they need her. This was the first time she has ever been put in a situation where she had to make a choice between two people, and I can see why she did what she did, after all you are the one that is supposed to be there no matter what.”  
   
“This can’t be my fault,” Christen cried out.  
   
“That’s not what I am saying.” Alex quickly corrected, “I’m saying all this is new and she didn’t know she was pushing that boundary with you.” She paused for a second letting the idea hit Christen where it needed to, “But, the party, the drinking, the whole Scotland thing, that is 100% her fault, and I honestly would have done the same thing if it were me and Sam.”  
   
Christen smirked, “You and Sam, huh?”  
   
“Not what we are talking about.” Alex said changing the subject back.  
   
Christen nodded, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I love her, I really do. I just don’t think I can handle another girl who pays more attention to her friends than she does to me. I went through that with Kelley, and even she said that she understood how horrible that was.”  
   
“Wait, when did she say this?” Alex asked.  
   
Lowering her head a little she answered in a low voice, “I called her the night Tobin and I broke up, we talked a lot, about me, about Tobin, about us, about what went wrong with us. We’ve been talking a lot lately actually.”  
   
“Why are you talking to your ex?” she asked feeling defensive over Tobin.  
   
“We aren’t _talking_ , we are just talking. Kelley knows me.” She said simply.  
   
“Do you still have feelings for her?”  
   
“No,” Christen said quickly, “I mean, I will always love Kelley, we were together for a long time, and she was my first love, but I don’t love her anymore, I’m not in love with her. She just get’s me.”  
   
“And Tobin doesn’t get you?”  
   
“Of course she does.” She smiled, “I don’t think I have ever felt so connected with someone like I am with Tobin… like I was.”  
   
Alex lowered her head, “You two still have a connection Chris, she really loves you.”  
   
“I really love her.” She sighed.  
   
“So talk to her,” Alex insisted, “I know she would like the chance to talk to you, explain things, tell you how sorry she is.”  
   
Christen looked up at her and smiled, “Do you have an agenda?”  
   
Alex laughed, “No, I just want you to be happy and Tobin makes you happy.” She waited for a rebuttal but there wasn’t one. “How about you meet her tomorrow?”  
   
“You do have an agenda.” Christen accused playfully.  
   
“Yes, I did.” She admitted, “And I know for a fact that if you didn’t want this you would run away and tell me to leave, but you want to talk to her, you want to know how she feels. You want to see her.”  
   
She nodded her head slowly, “I do.”  
   
“So meet her tomorrow at six at the soccer field, hear her out.”  
   
There wasn’t much to think about, she wanted to see Tobin more than she wanted anything else, and this would be her chance.  
   
“Okay, fine, but no more sneakiness.”  
   
Alex started to laugh, “Okay I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry all my Preathers, but I promise it will get better, stick with me.


	30. Tears Will Fall (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin faces the day after the disaster with her mom. Alex is right beside her every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First sorry for the late ass update, I am moving for the ninth time and it's been a wreck.
> 
> Also this might be a little triggery for some folks so be careful.

Sleep didn’t come, not that it would have, not after everything that happened. Tobin laid down, Alex warm against her, but her eyes were open and her mind was racing. 

 

They had made it to Alex’s house, her father looking over at them with sad eyes, and Alex explaining that Tobin couldn’t go home. The look on his face, that look that knew everything, it was the same look Alex gave Tobin whenever they got in her car, when they drove away from the house and Tobin was crying, curled up in the passengers seat, trying to stop her body from shaking. They crawled up the stairs, Alex holding tight to her hand, squeezing reassuring her that everything would be okay, but Tobin wasn’t sure that everything would be okay, not this time. 

Words were few and far between, Alex tried to talk, but Tobin just couldn’t do it, she couldn’t bring herself to talk about her mom, about her family, about what happened, what lead her to this moment. She let Alex undress her, unbuttoning her shirt and helping her put on a oversized t-shirt. She watched as Alex folded her jeans and set them on her desk. She let Alex pull down the blankets, and she crawled underneath and let the warmth of it all take her away from the worst thing in the world. 

Alex was in bed a few minuets later, her skin was warm to the touch. She had removed her make up, and tied her hair up. She was in a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top and Tobin could see the tan lines on her back, and for some reason that made her feel comfortable. Maybe it was the thought of simple summer days, running around the soccer field, letting the sun kiss her soft skin. Maybe it was the thought of Alex smiling as she tanned; Alex being happy always made Tobin feel comfortable. Whatever the reason, the sight was nice, and when Alex laid down, Tobin moved close to her back, a position they never slept it. But Tobin wanted to look at that simple tan line, she wanted to smell the soft comforting scent of her skin, so she buried her face in Alex back, and Alex didn’t fight her. 

The idea was to let the thought carry her into a slumber, but sleep didn’t come, not for Tobin. Even when Alex was breathing steady, and body was moving ever so slightly with her breath, Tobin never seemed to fall into a sleep, she never really seemed to calm down. Her mother’s words were echoing in her head, and there was nothing that could get them out. 

The thing that made it all worse, sting just a bit more, was knowing that was going to be her mothers reaction. The hope, that maybe her mom would have been alright, that maybe she would have been a little upset, but still wanted to talk about it, hear what Tobin had to say, that hope made the cut that much deeper. Knowing she would push away, pretend like it wasn’t real, pretend like Tobin wasn’t real, that made the sting even worse. 

Tobin could feel the tears falling from her eyes, dropping onto the fabric of the pillow. She could feel her body moving from her sobs taking control of her once again, taking over her. She pressed her face into Alex’s back and tried to muffle the small sounds escaping. This woke Alex up, and of course she turned over at saw the red in Tobin’s eyes, saw those used to be beautiful brown eyes now a deep black, she pulled Tobin in. Like she didn’t have a choice, Tobin laid her head on Alex’s chest and let herself cry. 

It was 5AM and Alex was rubbing circles on Tobin’s back, trying to sooth her. Tobin was clutching to Alex bunching her shirt up in her hands as the cries racked through her body. Finally her body gave in, too tired to stay awake. The pain to much for her brain to keep going, and she drifted off, sniffling in her sleep until she finally found peace. 

 

—

 

When Tobin woke up, Alex was already awake, she was on her phone texting. Alex looked down, the eyes looking up at her were blood shot, her face had slat streaks on them. Alex picked her head up just enough to kiss the top of Tobin’s head softly. 

“I talked to Katie,” Alex said simple. 

Tobin lifted her head, “How?”

“I guess she had my sister’s number and she was checking on you, so Jeri gave her my number.” Alex explained, shifting a bit, “I told her you were with me, and that you were… well you were safe.”

Tobin lowered her head, “Thanks Lex.” 

There was no saying that she was okay, because she wasn’t okay, there was no way for her to be okay, but she was safe and her family deserved to know that. The last thing she wanted was for her father and her siblings to worry that she was out somewhere something could happen to her. The thought that her mother would freak out knowing she was with Alex came to mind, but Tobin brushed it off, she didn’t care in the moment if her mom was freaking out. She pushed her face into Alex’s chest and took a deep breath, the idea of not caring what her mom thought feeling kind of like a weight was off her shoulders, even if it was just for a little while.

“I texted Kling, let her know to tell your boss that you wouldn’t come in today,” Alex told her.

“What did she say?” Tobin asked in a mumbled voice.

Alex put her arm around her tight, “she understood. Kling kind of figured out what happened, and said she’d cover for you.”

“Good, I don’t want Ashlyn feeling sorry for me,” she said pulling her hand close to her mouth, “Everyone else already feels sorry for me.”

“Tobin, you know that’s not it,” Alex said in a soft voice, “We all just want you to be okay. We’ve all been through something like this, we understand.”

That was the truth. Alex had been through this with her mom. Ashlyn went through it with her grandparents, and Kling was on her way to the same battle with some of her family members whenever she found the courage to speak up. Still she couldn’t help but think of the sad faces she was going to get the next time she saw the people she cared about, that sympathetic look that said ‘poor Tobin’ and that made her feel so uneasy. 

She sat up pushing her hair out of her face. “Can I take a shower?”

“Of course,” Alex responded. “Some of your clothes are in my closet.”

Tobin got up, her bare feet feeling the soft carpet as she stood up. Her head was a little foggy, probably from crying herself to sleep, and her chest hurt. Her cheeks were dry and so were her mouth. She felt like she could fall apart at anytime, like a cry was literally just a second away, but she didn’t want to cry again in front of Alex, not so soon after the whole thing last night. She grabbed a shirt she had left in the room a week ago and a pair of jeans she had changed out of one Tuesday night. Alex had three of four full outfits in her closet, cleaned and folded in the corner, like that was Tobin’s spot. The idea was kind of beautiful, like they lived together in some small way. The idea made Tobin smile, the first real one of the day. She grabbed the rest of the clothes and headed to the bathroom. 

It was early for Morgan house, so the hallway was quiet, none of Alex’s sisters there to see her in such a sad state. The bathroom was typical, the counter filled with make up and flat irons, and Tobin imagined Alex in there trying to straighten her hair for the day, looking in the to mirror where she would see her reflection and give a shrug as if to say ‘not bad’ before she left and continued with her day not really giving another thought to how she looked. 

The shower was filled with so many body washes and shampoos and other things that Tobin had no idea how the three girls could tell what was what. As the water warmed up, Tobin clicked open a few shampoos until she found one that wasn’t too flowery and she let the now warm water run down her body before shampooing her hair. As she rinsed it out she held her head under the water for a long time, letting the water cover her, take away a little bit of the pain she was feeling. 

A conditioner, that smelled like Alex’s hair was in the corner, and Tobin put it through her hair, before choosing the soap that smelt the most neutral out of everything else that was there. The girly soaps reminded her of her own shower, about the neutral Irish Spring she used as her own body wash. She thought about the two in one Head and Shoulders shampoo and conditioner, the one she choose specifically because it was for everyone. She thought about the deodorant she used, the gel she sometimes put in her hair, the scent free lotion she used and the struggle it was to get the things like that. 

 

Tobin came from a house who had two extremely girly girls before she was born. Her mom was use to buying the berry scent, yogurt infused, flower and pearls type of product for her daughters, and Tobin simply didn’t want to smell like a cupcake that just found it’s way out of a meadow. She liked the soaps her bother got to use, the vibrant blues and greens in the black bottles. They always smelled clean, like they were doing the job soap was supposed to do, and not like a yogurt shop. 

Tobin asked for the boys soaps, for the Bear Scent, the Cobra Skins, the bottles with the lions fighting a goat on them. It wasn’t that she wanted to smell like a boy necessarily she just didn’t want to smell like a fairy farted on her. She wanted to be clean without all the pearls and scrubs and everything else that seemed to come with being a girl. But her mom never gave in, never bought her the things she asked for. Finally at sixteen she was allowed to buy her own soap, and of course she bought a neutral soap, the one directly in-between the guys and the girls section, same with the shampoo, deodorant and everything else was now allowed to get herself. She picked a normal body spray, something that made her smell nice, but not masculine because she didn’t want to fight her mom. 

What was the problem with a girl using the boys soaps? Wasn’t soap just soap? Why did it matter how she smelled as long as she smelled nice. Did it really matter if she used the shampoo with the girl on the bottle, or the one with the lighting bolt? There wasn’t a difference in the products, one was just for boys and one was for girls and her mom made sure she used the girls, as if boys soap would some how turn her into something her mother was so against. Maybe it was the soap, maybe the soap made her gay. Maybe all those times of stealing her brothers soap, that’s what did it. Maybe her mom was on to something. It was the bear soap that made her like girls.

Maybe it was her baggy jeans, and baggy t-shirts. Maybe it was skateboarding, or playing soccer. It could have been all the snap backs she hide under. It could be because she never wore makeup, or didn’t wear dresses. It could have been the all the sports bras. It could have been any number of things that made Tobin feel more comfortable as herself, that made her feel like the girl she wanted to be. All of those non-girly things could have been the reason why she was gay. They could have been the reason she liked girls, why seeing their hair falling down their back was so intising, why big blue eyes perfectly lined with eyeliner made her weak. All of things would be the reason why she’d rather be the one to wrap her arms around a woman’s waist, instead of having a man put his arms around hers. All those things she did when she was little could be the reason why all she ever wanted was a girl to look at her they way all the boys looked at girls, the way girls looked at boys. Maybe it was with soap, that must be why she loved Alex more than anything in the world, and why she would do anything to make sure she was happy. It must be the soap, maybe her mom was right. 

She got out of the shower and changed into her clothes. A t-shirt and jeans. A pair of boxer briefs and a sports bra underneath. She looked in the mirror, her face clean and clear with no need of makeup. Her hair long, and dark from the water, but it would lighten up as it dried. She had kind eyes and a nice smile, and nice cheek bones, dammit, she was attractive. Nothing she wore made her any less attractive, all it did was attract the people she wanted to want her. Alex like her t-shirts, she liked her more in a button up, but she liked her style. Alex like her in jeans, and the sight of the hem of her briefs just a little above her jeans when her shirt slipped up. Her girlfriend like the no make up look, and her hair pushed back under a hat. The girl she loved liked her dirty chucks and the holes in her jeans. Tobin may not have looked the way her mother wished, but she was happy, and she was in love with someone who loved her just the way she was. 

She walked back into Alex’s room, looking over at the girl sitting on the bed. 

Alex lifted her head and gave Tobin a huge smile. “Feel a little better?”

“Yeah,” Tobin said honestly. “I’m not sure I’m going to be okay for a while, but I do feel better.”

“Good, I’m glad you at least feel better.” Alex said getting out of bed. She walked across the room and gave her girlfriend a kiss, “I like this shirt on you.” She said tugging a little on the white t-shirt.

Tobin gave her a shy smile, “Thank you.”

Alex put her arms around Tobin’s shoulders and pulled her in close for a hug, “Call your sisters, they are worried about you.”

Tobin nodded, letting her head fall on Alex’s shoulder, “Okay.” She whispered into her skin. 

As her girlfriend left the room to take a shower, Tobin threw her sleep clothes into the laundry basket and took her phone from the night stand where Alex had it plugged up. She took a deep breath, sitting down on the bed and looking through her contact to find Katie’s number. With another deep breath, she hit the camera button and waited as the phone rang.

“Toby,” Katie said coming on screen, “How are you?”

“Sad, scared, angry, frustrated, and a whole bunch of other things that I can’t really describe right now.” She told her honestly. “How are you.”

Katie took a deep breath, “Worried, about you, about everyone. The house kind of exploded when you left. Jeff left, went to a friends house. Perry has been in her room all night.”

Tobin’s eyes got big, “What happened?”

“Well,” Katie took a deep breath, the phone shaking like she was adjusting the way she was sitting. “As soon as you left Jeff went off.”

“What? Jeff? That doesn’t sound like him.” 

“Well it was him,” she said a little shock in her voice. “He was yelling at mom for the way she reacted, telling her that she needed to go after you, to find you, to apologize. Of course our mother, the never wrong, all knowing woman, tried to get him to just be quiet and go away. Jeff just got louder, until Perry had to grab him to calm him down. Then mom thought Perry was agree with her, and that made our sister see red. So Perry started in on how horrible she treated you and how she needed to be ashamed. Of course that meant dad stepped in, tried to mediate, but that just made them angry and Jeff left the house. He texted me and hour later to let me know he was at a friends house. Perry’s been in her room ever since. Whenever that whole scene was over mom and dad argued almost all night, and dad slept on the couch.”

“Holy shit,” Tobin breathed out, she had no idea her family would defend her so fiercely, the idea made her want to cry again, the tears threatened to fall down, “You guys didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah we did Toby, your our sister and we love you and what mom did was wrong. There might have been a more delicate way of breaking the news to her,” she gave a little laugh which made Tobin laugh a little too, “But she should have listened to you. She should have let you talk. We all knew she wouldn’t take it too well, but we never thought she would just ignore you, and let you walk out like that.”

Tobin lowered her head, her thought instantly going to the face that she thought something like that might happen. “Have you seen her since?”

“Yeah, she tried to talk to me.” Katie admitted. “You know she and I have always kind of seen eye to eye on most things, but not on this. I told her she was wrong and she needed to hear you out. She didn’t like that, so I’m pretty sure she’s as pissed at us as we all are at her.”

“Katie, I never wanted this to ruin any of you’s guy’s relationships with mom.” Tobin said in a sad tone, “I know how close you guys are, I don’t want to come between that.”

“Toby, you, your happiness, you living your life and being happy means more to me then mom being upset.” Katie reassured her. “I love our mom, and I know you do to, but she was wrong. You two need to talk this out. Maybe not today, maybe give it a little time to settle, but you need to come back and she needs to hear you out.”

Tobin took deep breath, running her hand through her still wet hair, “I know I do, and I will, I just need a little more time.”

“Take all the time you need, and when you’re ready we will all be here to back you up. Toby, we love you and we wont let anything bad happen to you.” She gave her a soft smile. 

“Thanks Katie,” Tobin returned her smile. “Tell Dad I love him, and Perry thank you and I love her, and when you see Jeff, tell him thanks for being such a good bro and I love him too.”

“I will don’t worry, take care of yourself,” Katie said happily. 

“Katie?” 

“Yeah little sis.” 

“I love you, thank you.”

Katie’s eyes looked a little wet like she was going to cry, “I love you too. Let me know where you are if you move, so I’m not worried.”

“You got it.” Tobin responded.

 

—

 

By the time Alex got back into the room Tobin was laying back in the bed her arm across her face. She looked peaceful, just laying there, taking short breaths. Alex wanted to let her rest, knowing she had slept probably a total of two hours the whole night, but Tobin poped up as the door closed and looked over at her girlfriend trying to be quite. 

“Go back to sleep,” Alex whispered hoping her girlfriend would follow her command. 

Tobin sat up all the way, “I’m okay. I don’t think I could sleep even if I tried.”

Alex threw her clothes in the laundry basket and started to dry her hair off with a towel. “Did you get a hold of your sisters?”

“Yeah, I talked to Katie” Tobin said with a sigh, “Apparently it was all of them against my mom last night. She even drove Jeff to leave for the night.”

“That’s insane,” Alex gasped, “What happened?”

“They fought, they defended me, they told her that she was wrong and of course my mom was just my mom about the whole thing.” Tobin shrugged that it was no big deal. 

She reached out to grab Tobin’s hand, “I’m glad they defended you. They love you.”

Tobin shrugged again, “Yeah I know, I just wish my mom saw it that way.”

“Time,” Alex said softly, “Just give it time.”

Tobin leaned back agains the pillows, “She’s had years.” She looked at the time on her phone, it wasn’t too late in the day and an idea popped in her head, “Hey, you wanna go have some fun?”

Alex gave her a huge smile, “I’m always down to have fun.”

“Awesome, I just need to make a quick call.” She said standing up and heading for the door, before she left the room she turned around and kissed Alex on the forehead, then quickly left the room.

 

An hour later the two girls were in Alex’s car drinking iced coffee and eating pastries from the local coffee shop. Tobin didn’t tell Alex what the fun activity was going to be, so Alex had spent the entire trip trying to guess, to which Tobin eventually turned up the music and sang along as loud as possible until Alex stopped asking questions. Eventually they arrived in front of Meghan's house where Tobin instructed Alex to follow her. 

“Why are we at Kling’s house?” Alex asked, her hundredth question of the day. 

Tobin looked back at her and smiled, “I had my sister put something in the woods in the back, we need to go get it.”

“What is it?” Alex asked. 

“Man, you are really bad at the whole surprise thing.” Tobin laughed, reaching back and grabbing her hand, “Just come with me and stop asking so many questions. 

As they pushed through the gate that blocked he front of the house from the back they were greeted by a giant dog barreling right for Tobin almost knocking her over with all his excitement. 

“Bryce, you beast,” Tobin laughed as the dog stood all the way up putting his front paws on her shoulder. Tobin looked over to Alex, “This is Bryce, Meghan’s horse dog.”

“It figures our smallest friend would have the biggest dog,” Alex chuckled sticking her hand out so the dog could smell it. 

A friendly voice called the dog from around the back of the house, and he jumped off Tobin and rushed to the back yard. Tobin lead Alex to the back of the house to see a woman sitting on the deck. 

“Hey mom,” Tobin said in a cheery voice, “I didn’t know you would be home.”

“Tobin, what are you doing back here?” Meghan’s mom answered with the same bright smile her daughter had.

Tobin climbed up the deck, “I’m just headed to the tree to pick up something. I didn’t want to cut through my back yard.”

Her eyes sunk a little, “Your dad called last night, told me to look out for you. He said you got into it with your mom.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t good.” Tobin said simply. She looked behind her to the girl standing at the bottom of the steps, “This is Alex… my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” She said with a big smile, “Well, well, seems like you’re growing up.” She took a few steps and met Alex as she climbed up to the deck. “It’s very nice to meet you Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you two Mrs. Klingenberg.” Alex smiled. 

The older woman gave Alex a warm hug before turning to Tobin and offering her the same. “Well if you need anything let me know Toby, and of course your room is always ready for you.”

“Thanks mom,” Tobin said squeezing tight to her, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She cupped the young girls face in her hands, “We all love you Tobin, don’t ever forget that.”

Tobin gave a soft smile, making sure she didn’t let herself cry, “I won’t, I promise.”

“Well you two had a mission, so go on, have some fun. I’ll tell Meghan you came by.” She said in a cheerful voice. 

“Okay, I’ll come by later this week for dinner.” Tobin said as she climbed down the back steps.

“Sounds great sweetheart.” The sweet mother said as she watched the two girls start on their way to the back fence, “Alex you come over too.”

Alex turned and gave her a quick smile, “I’d love to, thank you.”

They said their good byes and headed out the fence, but not before fighting the giant dog to stay in his boundaries and not follow them in the woods. They walked for a little while in silence before it became too much for Alex to handle and she had to start asking questions. 

“Meghan’s mom seems super awesome,” she said simply. 

Tobin looked over to her and smiled, “Yeah, she’s the best.”

She was hesitant to ask because Tobin seemed to be in a good mood but she needed to ask, “So she knows your gay?”

“I guess so, at least now she does,” Tobin gave her typical shrug, “I don’t think I’ve ever actually said it to her so much as she’s kind of been hinting at me and Kling for a little while now.”

“So she knows about Kling?” Alex followed up.

Tobin shrugged once again, “I don’t Kling has outright said it to her, but they have this kind of words spoken between words kind of relationship.” As the thought of how easy it was for Meghan to communicate with her parents came crashing into her mind, Tobin started to have those same feeling from last night and that was the last thing she wanted. “The Klingenbergs are just different.”

Alex could see by the once timid smile on Tobin’s face now starting to turn into a frown that she needed to change the subject, “So what’s up with this tree.”

“It’s the tree Kling and I go to when we want to be alone,” Tobin said, the smile now showing itself, “I don’t know when it became our tree, but over the years it’s been like a secret home. Though it’s not really a secret because everyone knows about it. My dad use to leave stuff out there for us to find, toys and stuff. Sometimes we’d find bagged lunches tied from the branches, whenever we were playing out there for hours, one of our moms making sure we ate through out the day. It’s kind of a special spot.”

Alex reached over and took her hand squeezing it tight, “Well, thank you for showing me your tree.”

“Of course,” Tobin said happily, “You’re special.”

A few minutes later they arrived at the biggest tree in the middle of the woods. Tobin looked around for a second before she found a duffle bag sitting up against it. She picked it up, peeking inside and gave Alex a sinister grin, before turning and walking back towards the house. Of course Alex protested demanding to know what was in the bag, but Tobin didn’t give in. They walked back through the back yard of Meghan’s house, this time not interrupted but anyone, or the giant dog, and headed back to Alex’s car. Tobin threw the bag in the back and instructed Alex to drive without giving in to her pleads to know what was going on. After a fifteen minuets of driving they ended up somewhere Alex never thought she’d ever be.

“The skate park?” Alex said as she watched dudes on skateboarders ride by her car.

Tobin turned to her with the biggest smile, “Oh yeah, we are gonna skate.”

“Tobin, I can’t skateboard.” Alex said simply. 

“Good thing I am a great teacher.” Tobin beamed. “Now let’s go Morgan, let’s learn you a new skill.”

After much protesting they were in the skateboard shop looking for a new helmet. Tobin had her sister pack up her skateboard and her longboard along with all her safety gear and two helmets, but turns out Alex’s head was super small, or maybe Tobin’s head was super big, either way they helmet she had didn’t fit and Alex refused to go out without a proper fitting helmet. 

“I like this one,” Alex said happily, “It’s purple, white and blue, Pride colors.” She said holding it up, “You know the team we will be playing for in four years.”

“I like how you keep reminding me that your trying to force me away from my favorite team.” Tobin said taking the helmet and adjust the straps before putting it on Alex’s head. “You know Kling will have a heart attack if we are not on the same team.”

“Maybe, but she will be with Moe on the Dash, so it won’t be a serious heart attack.” Alex gave her a cheeky grin as Tobin buckled the helmet straps under her chin.

Tobin adjust the straps to make sure the fit was right, “I like how you two just plan our futures, you know, without even consulting us.”

“Makes, things a lot easier,” Alex smiled at her.

She laughed shaking her head, “Yeah I guess so. And the helmet fits, you look good kid.”

“Thanks!” Alex said realizing she was much happier about he whole thing than she first thought. 

“Toby, dude,” a male voice called out. 

Tobin turned around to see a tall guy coming towards them, “Scott, dude, what’s up?” 

They high-fived before pulling each other into a quick hug. The guy was tall, with long blonde hair pulled back into a small bun. He looked like the typical skater, with tattoos on his forearms and big gauges in his ears. He had on a pair of sagging black jeans and a blue t-shirt with the logo of the skate shop on it. 

“Haven’t seen you all summer, where have you been girl?” Scott asked in his low voice. 

Tobin let her head fall back in exaggeration, “I had to get a job, get responsibility and all that.”

“Bummer,” the guy laughed, “Happens to the best of us.”

“True,” Tobin chuckled with him. She turned to see Alex standing with a smile on her face and the helmet now tucked under her arm, “Scott this is my girlfriend Alex.” She said happy how easy the words came out. “Alex this is my friend Scott.”

“Sk’oing on girlfriend Alex?” The happy guy said giving a little wave. 

Alex smiled, “Not much, friend Scott.” 

“This girl gonna teach you to skate?” He asked nothing the helmet under her arm.

Alex looked down at the helmet, “Uh, yeah that’s the plan.”

“Well, you got yourself a good teacher, don’t know how many kids this one has taught to skate.” He gave Tobin a quick slap on the shoulder, “You know she’s part of our Eight to Skate program. She comes in every summer and teaches kids eight and under how to ride a board. She’s one of our best teachers.”

Alex looked over at Tobin with wide eyes, “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, there’s probably tons of kids out there now that are putting her skills to use.” He bragged on Tobin as if she was his kid, “I asked her to train to be a pro, but she’d rather play soccer.”

“Hey, it’s my first love.” Tobin said quickly, “You should have found me before soccer got me.”

“I can respect the first love thing.” He laughed slapping her shoulder once again. Before he could say anything else someone called him from the other side of the shop. “Hey I gotta get back to work. You guys getting that helmet.”

Tobin looked over at it, “Yeah, she likes the colors.”

Scott reached over and took the price sticker off the helmet and gave Tobin a quick wink before turning around, “Later Tobs.”

“Scott you don’t have to do that man,” Tobin called after him.

“S’already done dude.” He replied with a little chuckle before disappearing around the corner. 

Tobin turned and looked over to Alex, “That was rad of him.” Alex’s eyes were as big as Tobin had ever seen, “What’s up?”

“You teach toddlers to skateboard?” She replied with a bright smile.

Shy about the whole thing Tobin lowered her head a little, “Yeah.”

Alex reached up with one hand and cupped her face bringing her in for a soft kiss, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re wonderful?”

“Nah,” She shrugged. 

Tobin wasn’t the type to make a big deal out of things so Alex let it go, even though it made her heart sing. They left the skate shop and headed over to the locker room, Tobin insisting Alex couldn’t skate in shorts and a tank top, lucky for her Tobin had her sister put some pants and a t-shirt in the duffle bag with the rest of her stuff. Tobin waited patiently outside for Alex to come out of the locker room, and it was all worth it.

She was in a pair of blue jeans that were baggy around the waist but tapered in as the got to her black and white Converse. Her t-shirt was red with a black embossed Converse logo on the front, it was loose fitting and sank a little lower than the waist of her jeans. To complete her look she was wearing Tobin’s black national team snap back, backwards, though she had to adjust the snaps to fit. Her hair was down and around her shoulders, and she had on a pair of classic black RayBands. The whole thing was put together well and all Tobin could think was how Alex could probably wear anything and still look amazing, but she looked extra good wearing her clothes, and this was going to have to turn into a thing.

“Do I look like Tobin Heath?” Alex asked as she came out the door. 

“No,” Tobin said standing up and taking a quick scan of her girlfriend, “But you do look incredibly hot.”

Alex did a little spin in her new outfit, “I’m ready to skate, dude.”

Watching her girlfriend look her up and down a few times Alex knew she was going to have to snap Tobin out of her thoughts if they were going to be able to do anything, but part of her liked watching Tobin’s eyes scan her body. She walked over to Tobin, placed a finger under her chin, closing her slightly open jaw and placed a kiss on her lips. 

“Come on babe, I’m ready to be a skater,” She said with a smile.

Tobin shook her head, snapping herself back into reality. “Right yeah, uh, let’s go over to the flat part.” 

“Maybe you should go ahead of me,” Alex said lowering her sunglasses enough to look up at Tobin, “I wouldn’t want you falling over watching me walk away.” 

“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” Tobin laughed, “Follow me.”

They went over to a space in the park that was pretty empty. Alex watched all the skaters as the passed by them. The park was pretty huge with ramps and rails everywhere with people skating on them. Everyone looked like they had been doing this for years, like they had dedicated a huge portion of their life to this activity. They were flying in the air catching their boards in the air. They were sliding down stair case steps, and random rails. When they reached the area that looked like a giant pool without water Alex stopped to watch a few girls do some tricks, she was in awe of how they moved so confidently on their boards, as if the board was apart of them and there was no way for them to fall. She could imagine Tobin out there, riding around with a smile on her face and her long brown hair blowing behind her. She could imagine her loving every second of it, and wanting to come back for more, and that thought made Alex even more excited to be there with her girlfriend.

“How long have you been skateboarding?” Alex asked as Tobin helped her put on knee and elbow pads. 

Tobin thought for a second, “I started when I was about seven years old. Katie had a crush on this skater guy who use to ride here. She brought me up here so she could talk to him, and she put me in the Eight to Skate program and Scott taught me how to skate. Eleven years later, and he owns the place, and I’m still up here skating. I guess I kind of just fell in love with it because I stuck with it. I don’t do a lot of tricks and stuff, I’m more of a long boarder now I like to cruse, but it’s always something that can calm me down, bring me peace. That’s why I come up here during the summer to teach the kids, maybe one of them can find peace in it too. Plus I just love being up here.”

“That’s really awesome Tobs,” Alex said with a smile, “You really are amazing.” She leaned in and kissed her. 

Tobin leaned into the kiss, the feeling of Alex’s lips on hers always making her happy. “Hey now, we are here to skate, not to make out.”

Alex rolled her eyes, “Fine, but later, more of this.” She said kissing her again.

“Definitely later,” Tobin smiled. “For now, hop on the board and let’s see what you got.”

They spent the next few hours with Alex learning how to balance, and Tobin laughing each time she fell off trying to go forward. After a while she got the hang out if and even learned how to turn and stop all on her own. The whole thing was a little confusing to Alex, but having Tobin teach her was one of the best things. The distant look in Tobin eyes, that had been there almost all morning was gone and her entire focus was on making sure Alex understood everything she was saying. Watching her smile, shake her head, and run after Alex to try and keep her from falling was worth every single time Alex landed on her ass, or her knees, or elbows, and a few times on her hips. It was all worth it to see her eyes light up and the smile that Alex loved so much finally make it way to Tobin’s tanned cheeks. 

 

“You’re doing pretty good,” Tobin said with a smile.

Alex got off the board and stepped on the back making the board stand up enough that she could grab the other end and tuck it under her arm, “I’m pretty much a pro.”

She started to chuckle, “Maybe in a few years when have the fundamentals down.”

“Oh yeah, let’s see you do something Ms. Fundamentals.” Alex said handing the board over to Tobin. 

With a cocky smirk Tobin grabbed the board letting it fall the ground. She got on the board and kicked off heading towards a mini ramp. She went up the ramp, grabbing the board in the air before coming down, riding over to a rail and sliding almost all the way down. A few kick flips from the ground later she was back in front of Alex kicking the board up into her hand. 

Alex looked her up and down for a second, “Not going to lie, that was pretty hot.”

“Oh yeah?” She cocked her head a little to the side. “You wanna make out?”

She grabbed the front of Tobin’s shirt pulling her in for a kiss. “How about we get some food first.” She whispered as the kiss broke. 

“Okay, burgers first, then we make out.” Tobin wiggled her eyebrows.

They walked over to the burger hut right outside the skate park and order some food, sitting outside at a picnic table. As much as Alex wanted to talk about what she knew was on Tobin’s mind, she stayed clear of the conversation. There would be plenty of time to talk about the sad things, for now she just wanted to watch Tobin smile, knowing that at any second she could possibly break down in tears again. 

When they are done eating, Alex watched Tobin skate for a little while longer. Tobin was in the giant drained pool with the rest of the people who knew what they were doing, while Alex sat around talking to some of the the people at the park. Tobin was known around the park and well liked. She had taught some of the younger kids that were there and they all talked about how they would miss her when she went off to college. Just like school, Tobin wasn’t known for talking a lot, besides the lessons no one really remembered her saying much at all, but they all knew her as the sweet girl who was willing to help anyone if they asked. 

As she watched Tobin drop in for what she promised would be the last time, Alex couldn’t help but wish she had been apart of this part of Tobin’s life earlier. She didn’t even know Tobin could skate let alone that she could do tricks and she knew a bunch of skaters from all the schools in the county. In was in this moment that Alex told herself to get to know everything about Tobin, no matter how small, she wanted to know about her life, and all the things she loved to do. 

 

“Ready to go babe?” Tobin asked a little out of breath.

Alex looked up at her, “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

Tobin helped her girlfriend up and tucked all the equipment back in the bag. “Come on one last ride through the parking lot.”

“I don’t wanna fall again,” Alex pleaded. 

Tobin took another board from the bag, “You won’t, I’ll keep you up on this.”

A little confused, Alex stepped onto the board and waited to see what Tobin meant.

After putting the bag on her shoulders, Tobin got on the board behind Ales and slightly back. She put her arms around Alex’s waist and her chin on her shoulder, “You ready.”

“Is this safe?” Alex asked her arms going onto of Tobins.

“It’s long boarding babe,” Tobin said with a big smile, “It’s the safest thing around.”

Tobin didn’t wait for Alex to ask anymore questions, she kicked off towards the parking lot. The board was a little unsteady as Alex found her balance, but it didn’t take long with Tobin’s arms wrapped around her tight. The feeling was better then either of them could have dreamed. Tobin steered them, leaning back and forth letting them swerve around everything. Alex leaned with her, letting her body match Tobin’s perfectly. They weren’t going too fast, the slight slope the pavement was on, guiding them down towards the cars. They were only on the board for a little while, but the feeling of the wind blowing by their faces, the feeling of them moving as one, it felt like they were there forever and neither of them wanted to stop. 

Tobin stopped the board just shy of the car, jumping off first before helping Alex off. “You did great.”

Alex threw her arms around her neck pulling her in close and capturing her lips. “That was the coolest thing ever. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she smiled down at the cheerful girl, “Thank you.”

“For what?” She asked. 

Tobin kissed her again, “For being you.”

 

They drove, Alex going on about how everyone at the park loved Tobin, and of course Tobin shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal. Alex didn’t even ask if Tobin might want to go home, she just drove directly to her own house where Tobin got out the car like it was the most normal thing in the whole world. 

They spent the next few hours napping in Alex’s bed, even though Tobin tried to start something, before falling asleep almost mid kiss. When they woke it was late in the night and they went down for some food before they were going watch a movie in Alex’s room. After scarfing down microwave burritos Alex went up stairs to take a shower while Tobin cleaned up their mess in the kitchen.

“Hey Tobin,” Alex’s dad said as he walked into the kitchen. He had on a nice shirt and tie, and must have just come from work, “You staying here tonight?” He asked in a friendly tone.

“I hope that’s okay.” She swallowed hard hoping for a good answer.

He walked over to the refrigerator, “Of course, you can stay here for as long as you want.”

“Thanks, Mr. Morgan, I really appreciate it.” Tobin said with a half smile. 

He looked over noticing the look on her face, “Everything okay?”

“Can I ask you a question?” Her voice was a little shaky. 

“Yeah, go ahead.” 

“How did you feel when Alex came out?” She asked unsure of why she was even asking the question, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, I just, I don’t know.”

“Is that why you’re here? Did your parents not react well to you coming out?” He asked in a knowing tone. 

Tobin lowered her head, “My dad was great, he’s always great. My mom though. She uh, she kind of freaked out on me.”

He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and cracked it open taking a drink. “I guess that was the same thing for Alex, her mom didn’t, well still doesn’t react well to the whole thing.”

“But why?” She asked desperately, “Why is it moms who have a freaking fit?”

“I don’t think it’s just moms,” he said with a little chuckle, “It’s a person to person thing really. For me I just knew that it wasn’t going to change who Alex was, but I guess maybe her mom didn’t really see it like that. Honestly it took me a while to even come to that conclusion. When Alex first said something, I was freaked out, but I kind of kept it inside just because I wanted time to really think about it. The thought of her not having what people think is a normal life ran through my head. They whole, ‘will she ever get married? Will she ever have children?’ questions came to mind. It took a while for me to realize that Lex was going to have all that, if that’s what she wants. I’d still be able to walk her down the aisle, there being a woman at the end of the aisle didn’t make any difference, as long as she was happy. It didn’t matter if she got pregnant, or her partner did, or if they adopted, or whatever, when she had kids it wasn’t going to make the occasion any less joyous. I guess I just had to remind myself that all that matter was Alex was happy, and I could tell she was so much more happy.”

“And now you’re okay?” She asked timidly.

He thought for a second before answering, “I am. Honestly it’s not really something that crosses my mind in a way that would ever make me not okay, it’s just a normal thing now. The last time I found myself concerned about it in anyway was when she said she was dating you.”

Tobin looked up at him with a worried look, “Why’s that?”

“Because I didn’t know much about you,” he answered in a light tone. “I wanted you to be good, to be kind, and smart, and protective, and everything that Alex deserved in a partner. It didn’t matter if you were a boy or a girl, I just wanted you to be what she needed.”

“And now?” She asked with a hopeful look.

He chuckled, “Now I know you’re great. I don’t think I have seen Lex smile so much in her life. You’re a great person Tobin, and I know it might feel like maybe your mom doesn’t see that, but she does, she see’s all that, she’s is just getting use to the idea of you being something other than what she imagined. I think with time she will see that you aren’t a different person because of all this, you’re still you, and you’ll always be you. But like I said it takes time.”

She took a deep breath “How much time?” 

“That I can’t answer,” he said honestly, “But one day she will see you.”

Tobin let the thought sink into her head. How was is such a simple thing to get to? She thought about how her father probably went through the same thing all those years ago when he realized this thing about her, probably before she even knew herself. She thought about her dad sitting around thinking about her and her future, who she would turn out to be. Her dad was so laid back and simple, but maybe it took a while for him to get to the point where he was now. Maybe it was all about time, and how fast they processed things. Maybe her mom would one day get to this point too, maybe she would learn to accept Tobin for who she was. 

But Alex’s mom didn’t accept Alex, she just kind of tolerated her, in the most confusing and upsetting way possible. Alex and her mom had the kind of relationship that you have with cut on the roof of your mouth. If you just ignore it and stop messing with it then maybe it won’t hurt as much and eventually go away. Alex was moving across the country to make sure she didn’t have to deal with her mom, and the way Alex described it, her mother, though disapproving of everything she did, wasn’t too broken up about her youngest daughter being a six hour flight away. 

Was this going to be how Tobin was with her mom? Was her mom going to be happy she as moving in a few weeks? Was she going to be happy to see Tobin take off and not come back for months? Was she now on the list of casual conversationalist for Tobin, her mother just someone she was polite too? Was she loosing her mom?

“Hey pop,” Alex walked into the kitchen, “you’re home late.”

“Yeah, I have a few new clients that I need to get the numbers on their accounts to line up. I’m actually going to go work in the home office for a few hours.” He answered pulling at the knot on his tie. 

Alex walked up and planted a kiss on his cheek, “Don’t work too hard.”

“I’ll try.” He said with a slight smile. Looking over at the worried look on Tobin’s face her felt compelled to make sure the quite girl wasn’t spiraling, “You okay Tobs?”

Tobin looked up at him, “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for the talk Mr. Morgan.”

“Any time kiddo.” He gave her a little smile before heading out the kitchen.

Alex walked over to her girlfriend, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she said simply. “Let’s go lay down.”

 

The bed was a welcomed sight as Tobin laid down in it for the second time in the day. She watched Alex walk around the room for a bit, putting things away, and getting her clothes ready for work in the morning. Finally they settled in together, a movie playing on the television in the corner, but Tobin’s mind was on other things. 

Alex had her head on Tobin’s chest, her arm wrapped around her, when she could hear Tobin’s heart beating in her chest. She leaned up and looked into those brown eyes, racked with worry. 

“Tobin, what’s on your mind?” She asked pushing the hair from her face. 

Tobin looked up at her and gave a weak smile, “Nothing.” She reached up, putting her hadn’t behind Alex’s head and pulled her down for a kiss. 

The kiss started tp get heated as Tobin pulled Alex on top of her. As much as Alex knew it might not have been the best idea in the moment she couldn’t help the feeling that was building inside her whenever Tobin ran her hand under her shirt and cupped her breast. Maybe Tobin just needed a distraction, something to keep her mind off the bad things, even if it was just for a little while. So Alex kissed her deeper, running her hands up Tobin’s side slowing inching her shirt up. She leaned down and kissed along Tobin’s jaw line to that spot behind her ear that always got a reaction. She was starting to kiss down her neck, her hands lifting Tobin’s shirt even higher when she heard something. 

Alex picked herself up and looked down at Tobin, who was fighting tears from falling, “Baby, what’s going on?”

With a deep breath Tobin looked up at her loving girlfriend, “Alex… Do you think my mom loves me?”

“Yes of course,” she answered quickly.

The tears started to stream down her cheeks, “I don’t think she loves me.”

“Oh, Tobin.” Alex gasped.

With one motion Alex had flipped their positions allowing Tobin to rest her head on her chest, and wrapping her arms around her shaking body. Tobin buried her face in Alex chest and let the tears take over. Another night.


	31. Dinner (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has finally made up her mind, and she's asked Christen to dinner to explain everything to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, moving is hectic. 
> 
> Anywho, ignore those typos and enjoy.

Christen was nervous, probably the most nervous she had ever been. She was given very vague, yet strict directions by Alex and the more she she thought about what was happening, or what she hoped was happening the more nervous she got. The directions simple, wear something nice and meet Tobin at the soccer field at seven. Christen question what she meant by nice, and Alex replied with ‘summer nice’ which didn’t really make much sense, so she asked what that meant, and Alex replied, “i don’t know that blue dress in your closet, that’s nice.”

She got the dress out of her closet, the light blue summer dress with pink and white flowers on it, looking at it, and thinking that it might be the perfect thing for the night. It flowed down to right above her knees, and had thin straps, but not too thin that it would be considered too casual. She paired it with a pair of light pink heels that matched the flowers; they weren’t too tall, she was already taller than Tobin and something told her to not go too high. She let her hair dry in the curls that Tobin liked, letting them fall around her shoulders and frame her face. Light makeup with shadowing and light contouring, just enough to bring out her eyes. If what she thought was about to happen was really what was going down, she wanted to look the part as best as she could. 

It was 6:10 when she walked down the stairs and Tyler was there to tell her how amazing she looked, which boosted her confidence. Out the door a few minuets after her sister calming her down a little, and she met her mom coming home from work. They talked for a second, her mom telling her to be careful and make sure that this was really what she wanted. She was in the car, gripping the steering wheel as tight as she could as she tried to calm herself down. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest, it was much more than just nerves, it was anxiety. Was this what she truly wanted, after all she had just broken up with Tobin three days ago, and this whole night was undoubtedly Tobin’s big plan to get them back together. What would happen when they were back together? Which Tobin was she going to get, the one she loved, or the one that made her cry? And what about Scotland, what about Tobin going pro and not going to college like they had planned?

Over the past few weeks Christen had planned out a future with Tobin, maybe she didn’t express it to the girl too much, but she had things laid out. She went back to school shopping and bought clothes she knew Tobin would love her in. She bought a memory foam mattress topper because Tobin had mentioned how she needs a super soft bed to sleep in, and Christen assumed that Tobin would be in her bed more often than her own. She bought things for her room with pops of orange, because Tobin loves orange and she wanted to make sure her girlfriend felt comfortable in her room. Everything she did for college she thought about Tobin, what was going to be good for them, she planned her room around the girl, and now she might not even be there to enjoy it. 

 

—

 

It had been three days, the longest three days Tobin had ever experienced in her entire life, she didn’t know time could move so slowly. Christen had broken up with her, and rightly so seeing as she was a fool for far too long, but it was time to get that all together, and the first thing she needed to do was make sure that Christen knew she was one of the most important people in her life and there was no way she was going to just give up on them. 

With help from Alex, Meghan and her big sisters Tobin made a plan, and began to execute it. It was a simple plan; show Christen how much she truly meant, and make sure she knew that she was loved, after that it would all be on Christen. So she put together everything she needed and relief heavily on Alex and Meghan to get Christen to agree to see her. 

The moment she received a yes, her mind went into full blown panic mode. So Christen was going to give her a chance, one chance to prove herself, that meant her plan had to go off without a hitch and it had to be exactly what Christen really wanted. 

It took a full day to fine tune the plan, and over two hours to get everything set up, but it was done, and now all she had to do was wait. Tobin was early to the spot, making sure everything was still how it needed to be. She brushed down her shirt one more time, made sure her pants were straight, and her hair wasn’t frizzing. She looked down at her phone, it was five minutes before Christen was supposed to be there, so she stood in her spot, not wanting to not be there if she showed up early. 

The five minuets went by, and Tobin looked down at her phone. It was 6:30 the time they agreed to see each other and still no Christen. Tobin looked back at her creation making sure it was still good to go, and waited. She thought about texting, making sure she was still coming, but the idea made her uneasy. If Christen was coming she would be here, she would be on time. It was 6:40, and Tobin could feel her heart sink.

 

—

 

Christen looked out the window, she had been stopped at a stop sign for over ten minuets thinking about everything. It was 6:30 and she was suppose to be there by now. But the idea, of maybe not showing up popped in her mind. Maybe she didn’t want to get back together with Tobin, not this soon, not until they figured everything out, not until she had questions answered. Maybe it was better if they texted, tried to talk it out without having to look into those big brown eyes that could get Christen to agree to almost anything. Maybe it was better to figure things out before seeing each other, before that smile sucked her back in, before she got so close she could smell her soft scent, before Tobin could reach out and hold her hand and make her feel so relaxed that she would say yes over and over again. Maybe she should just wait.

Then the idea of Tobin standing, looking down at the clock on her phone, wondering where she was made Christen’s heart break. She might had been unsure about a lot of things, but one thing she was sure about, she didn’t want to hurt Tobin, and not showing up would definitely hurt her. So Christen cleared her mind and started to drive again, she was going to be a little late, but she was going to see Tobin.

She pulled into the parking lot fifteen minutes late, as she drove up she saw Tobin standing with her head hanging low, but then look up and smile when she saw her head lights. She parked the car and took a deep breath before getting out the car, and the sight was worth it. 

Tobin was in a a pair of form fitting kaki pants, cuffed at the bottom showing a peek of her tan ankles in her light brown flats. Her shirt was a light blue, almost too light to be blue, the sleeves cuffed, and the hem tucked smartly into her pants and it buttoned up to the third to last button showing off her tanned chest, but the best part, the thing that made Christens heart skip was the light pink suspenders framing her body perfectly. 

Tobin looked up at her, that megawatt smile coming on her face, “You look beautiful.”

Getting a little closer, Christen was smiling so big she could feel the pull in her cheeks, “You look amazing.”

She looked down at herself for just a second, “Thank you. But you, Chris, you look absolutely stunning.” She took a step forward reaching out her hand.

As if it was the only option, Christen took Tobin’s hand, and exactly what she thought would happen started to happen, she started to fall for Tobin all over again. Everything in her wanted to move forward let Tobin wrap her up in her arms, hold her close. She wanted to put her arms around Tobin’s neck; she wanted to burry her face in her shoulder and take in the signature scent. She wanted to fall into Tobin and feel safe again, feel happy again. But she couldn’t do that, not yet, and by the look on Tobin’s face, she knew that Christen was stopping herself from doing that, and patient and understanding as always Tobin did the right thing, leaning in and giving Christen a quick kiss on the cheek, and then pulling away putting a little space between them. The lack of contact, the kiss being on the cheek, made Christen a little sad, but it was for the best. 

“So what are we doing on the field?” Christen asked trying to keep herself from giving into everything that was Tobin Heath. 

Tobin moved besides her and looked out onto the field, “I wanted to have dinner, but I wanted it to be just me and you, so I did this.”

She took out her phone and touched the screen a few times and like magic the field lit up. Christen looked out and saw what Tobin had created, and her heart melted. 

The two goals were pushed close together, maybe twenty feet from each other, strung across was a bunch of twinkle lights, all white and pink. The lights were weaved into the nets making the whole space light up perfectly to see a single table, covered in a white table cloth.

Christen stared, her eyes wide, “It’s so beautiful.”

“Well let’s go down there,” she said with a big smile, “Have dinner, I have everything ready.”

Tobin wanted to hold out her hand again, she knew Christen would take it if she did, but that’s not what needed to happen right now, not yet, not this early.

The closer they got Christen noticed the table had a with a small vase in the middle holding three small rose, a pink, a white and a blue one. Suddenly she realized why Alex told her to wear this particular dress, it matched everything Tobin had planned out, from the lights to the roses to everything Tobin was wearing and the idea made Christen’s head swim. 

“It matched my dress,” Christen said her voice a little caught in her throat as she took everything in. 

Tobin turned to her, “I remembered that dress,” she said looking up at Christen with big eyes, “I saw a picture of you in it and I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Alex told me it was in your closet, and I thought it would be a good idea.” She lowered her head, “Is it too much?”

“No, Tobin its perfect,” She turned looking into those eyes she could sink into, “This is amazing, I can’t believe you did all this.”

“I wanted you to know how special you are to me,” she said with a worried smile. 

She wanted to lean in, kiss her, say how much she loved her, but not yet, “I love it, Tobin, it’s perfect.”

Tobin had pulled out all the stops, she even put on some low music, setting the mood perfectly. The set up was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, everything blended so well, and Christen had to stop to take it all in. Tobin had out done herself, created a fantasy world were they could be alone. These were the things, the moments when Christen knew Tobin was the one for her, the girl she wanted to spend her life with. It was these perfectly planned moments in time when she knew that she had found the person to perfectly compliment her. The only thing stopping her from wrapping her arms around Tobin’s neck and staying there forever were the doubts still floating in her mind. Tobin could be perfect, could turn a field into a dream that made her melt, but she could also throw it all away, turn what they had into confusing mess and until Christen knew that that Tobin was gone, she had to keep herself a little guarded.

Tobin jumped ahead to the table and pulled out one of the chairs, “You’re chair madam.” she smiled.

That smile was so perfect, Christen couldn’t help but stare at it, that smile that made her so weak, paired with the eyes shinning at her, Christen could feel herself melting. 

“Thank you,” she said taking a seat, trying not to look up at Tobin.

Quickly, Tobin walked over to the small table on the side and grabbed the two plates with metal covers on them. She had planned this dinner down to the very last detail, from the plates, to the silverware to the sparkling grape juice in the long steamed glasses. As she moved towards the table, the plates in had, all she could hope was Christen noticed how much effort she put into this, how much care she had, how she made everything custom for the girl she loved. 

Tobin grabbed the top of the lid and looked at Christen with wide eyes, “Are you ready?”’ she smiled, after receiving a silent nod she took the lid of the plate, “You’re favorite.”

Christen let her head fall back in a little chuckle, “Chicken Alfredo Pizza, really?”

Still with a huge smile on her face Tobin made her way to the other side of the table, “I wanted this to be special and I know it’s your favorite, plus it’s easy to keep warm.” she looked behind her and pointed to the pizza carrying bag.

“How’d you get one of those?” Christen asked.

Tobin shrugged, “Lindsey, she knows a pizza delivery guy, she got him to give it up for tonight, I have to get it back in the morning.” she lowered her head a bit, “I’m kind of lucky she’s even speaking to me.”

Christen was shocked, the last time she had talked to Tobin the two girls were inseparable, it was a big reason why Christen had decided to walk away from the girl she loved. 

“What happened?” she asked concerned for Tobin, knowing how much Lindsey means to her.

Tobin swallowed a lump in her throat, “Well after that morning, when you…. when you left, I yelled at Lindsey, said some really horrible things.” she took a drink from her glass, “But we are okay now, we talked it out.”

Shocked that Tobin would say anything horrible to anyone Christen’s eyebrows knitted together in curiosity, “I can’t imagine you ever being mean, especially to Lindsey.”

“It wasn’t the best side of me, but we figured it out,” Tobin said with a slight smile. “I figured a lot of things out actually, that’s one of the main reasons I wanted to have dinner, talk, tell you everything that I need to tell you. It’s been a long two days, but I know what I want.”

This is what Christen had been waiting for: the explanation, the apology, the graveling, the begging to get back together. She expected it as soon as she saw the girl standing there waiting, she expected the first thing out of Tobin’s mouth to be how sorry she was, how she would fix everything, but they were here now and she was ready to hear the excuses.

“You made a choice about Scotland?” Christen said with a sigh.

Tobin nodded, “Yeah, I’ve made a choice about everything. Honestly I’ve been getting advice from everywhere and everyone, but I know what I want to do, what I have to do. With another quick sip of her drink and a little laugh Tobin looked over to the girl waiting on the story, “First of all, my parents were not happy, about any of it.”

 

—

 

**48 hours earlier**

 

“Mom, it’s not really that big of a deal, you know, when you think about it.”

“Tobin Powell, are you serious?” her mom spun around and stared into Tobin’s soul, “You are talking about skipping college and moving to another country.”

Tobin was sitting in the arm chair in the living room, she had decided it was better if she sat for this conversation. Normally when she stood she argued more, raising her voice to get her point across and that’s not what she wanted out of this. She wanted to explain the whole thing calmly, let her parents know her choice, let them know that it was her choice and not theirs and there was no changing her mind. So she sat in the chair, her sisters sitting in the dining room watching the whole thing, ready to jump in a defend their little sister. Her parents sat on the couch across from her, waiting to hear what their youngest girl had to say to them. With a big breath Tobin told them that she had a tryout in Scotland, it was in less than two weeks, and she was headed over there to see if she wanted to be a professional soccer player. Her dad remained calm, but her mom sprung out the seat so quick it made Tobin a little dizzy, and it wasn’t a few seconds later that she started in on how she really felt about the idea. 

“First, I am not sure if I will stay over there,” Tobin said keeping herself planted firmly in the seat, “I’m going for the tryout, and who knows maybe they won’t even want me.”

“Of course they’ll want you. They would be fools not to want you,” her mom said quickly, “But you can’t go. You can’t leave the country. You can’t not go to college. Tobin, you can’t do this.”

Tobin shook her head, her mom being overly dramatic again, “Mom, I’m going, and I am going to make my choice, to stay or go to college when I get over there. This is happening.” she said firmly. She looked over to her father who had yet to say anything the entire time, “This is just something I have to do.”

Her mom was pacing back and forth, “No, you have a full ride, you need to get your degree, you need to go to college.” she put her hand behind her neck they way Tobin always did when she was nervous, “You can’t just pick up and go across an ocean.”

“Mom, stop thinking about it in a way that I will never go to college, or get a degree,” Tobin said with a little laugh, trying to keep her mother calm, “I can go to school and be a pro, it’s pretty easy.”

“Tobin, you are not thinking this through.” she said quickly. 

“How long is the tryout?” Tobin’s father finally spoke up cutting off her mothers rant.

Tobin sat up a little in the chair, “It’s for two weeks, just to see how I do then they will let me know if they want me or not.”

He stayed still at the end of the couch, “And when, not if, when they give you a contract, can you come home for a while?”

“Yeah, I mean to get my stuff, and drop Perry off,” Tobin said looking over to her older sisters.

As there parents looked over to her, Perry decided it was time to speak up, “I’m going with Tobin, just for the tryout. My classes don’t start for another three weeks and I can miss first week without an issue. I figured you guys would freak less if one of us was with her.”

“Why don’t I go with you,” her mother said looking over to Tobin.

“Oh yeah that’ll look great,” Tobin laughed leaning back in the chair, “Hey pro football club I’m Tobin from America and this is my mommy. I can’t do that, Perry is coming with me mom, it’ll be fine.”

Their mother opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off by the calm man in the room. “At least you won’t be there alone.” He turned to his youngest daughter, “What happens to your scholarship, you’ll miss the first two weeks of school, what happens if you decided to come home and go to college?”

Tobin, happy her father was actually listening, was proud of herself for getting all the answers before she came to the conversation, “I spoke to coach and the board at UNC, as long as I don’t sign anything, I can go to school and still have my full scholarship. They are giving me the first two weeks of school to figure everything out.”

He thought for a minute pressing his lips together in a way that reminded Tobin of her little brother, “So you can come back and go to school, or you can be pro. Sounds like you have thought this through.”

“I have,” Tobin chimed in happily, “I have my passport from that time we were going to go to Canada, it doesn’t expire for another three years. The team is setting up a hotel room, and they will help get an apartment if I decided to stay. UNC is holding my spot and my room if I decided to come back. I have figured it all out.” she looked up at her mother, “I have to do this.”

The worried look on her mothers face broke Tobin’s heart, she never wanted her mom to freak out, but she needed to do this. Her entire life was devoted to one thing, being a professional soccer player and now she had a chance. As much as it pained her to leave, to worry her mother, to freak her family out, this was just something she needed to do.

Her father stood up, put his arm around his wife and kissed her forehead, “You know she has to do this.” he said lightly. 

“I just can’t… not right now.” her mother said before walking out of the room and up the stairs. 

Tobin sat back in the chair sinking down into the soft pillows, “Well, it went better than I thought, I guess.”

“Give her some time,” her father said with a gentle smile, “Her youngest daughter did just tell her she is running away to another country.”

“Yeah, I know,” she answered looking up at the tall man, “Thank you for understanding.”

He nodded, his silence speaking more than his words ever could, “We can figure out all the details a little later.” he reached out for Tobin’s hand, pulling her up from the coach and into a hug, “I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks dad.” she said into her shoulder, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he told her hugging her a little tighter.

It wasn’t the best outcome, but it was better then it could have been. Her mother was never going to be okay with her leaving, especially not right now, not when she had her life planned out the way it was supposed to go. Her mom had seen her life one way, she would go to college get a degree then go play soccer, hopefully somewhere close to home, her going off to another country was not in the plan. It was going to take a long time for her mother to get on board, hell she would probably be in her second season with the team before her mom finally accepted she was playing pro. 

“At least she didn’t yell,” Perry said standing up and putting her arm around her little sister. 

Katie leaned agains the arm of the couch, facing Tobin, “Yeah I thought she was going to explode.”

“I’m pretty shocked too,” Tobin smiled, leaning into her sister, “Dad was cool.”

“Dads always cool,” Perry laughed, “I think he’s just excited to say his daughters a professional soccer player.”

Tobin chuckled a little, “Probably.”

Katie reached out and put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “Well now that that is over, let’s figure out the next big thing… Getting your girl back, what’s the plan?”

“I was thinking dinner,” Tobin shrugged, “I’d like time to talk to her, really explain things.”

“Sounds like a good plan, but it needs to be somewhere private, where you two can really talk without interruptions.” Katie said.

Perry chimed in, “Yeah, somewhere personal.”

Tobin looked at her sisters, “I think I know the place.”

 

—

 

“So you’re going to Scotland.” Christen said with a little hitch in her voice. “That’s good.”

Tobin gave a little smile, “It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend like you’re happy, I know you're not.”

Christen sat back in her seat a little, “That’s not it at all, I am happy for you, a little jealous, but happy.” she took a deep breath, “I’m just sad, I mean we were supposed to go to college together.”

“That can still happen,” she said happily, “I can still go to college, who knows what’s going to happen.”

Now it was Christen’s turn to smirk, “Tobin we both know what’s going to happen. You’re going to go over there, blow them away with your skill, they are going to offer you a contract and you’ll spend the next two to four years playing for GCFC.”

Tobin lowered her head, “That’s not true, not yet.”

“But it will be,” She said quickly, “You can’t give up a pro contract, that’s insane.”

She had no idea how much the idea would hit her. The thought that Tobin might go away, might play pro, might not be on the same continent as her for years, that was always an idea but in her heart she thought Tobin would say no. That night, when Tobin was passed out, Christen stayed up all night letting the idea float around in her head, how they would handle being apart, how they would talk on the phone and video chat and text constantly, how she would go to visit and Tobin would come home on the off season. She formulated an entire plan of action to make sure they stayed together, to make sure they stayed in love and she didn’t loose the girl she wanted her life with. She spent the majority to the night going over the conversation in her head, telling Tobin exactly what she needed to do, and convincing her that it would be okay if she left because their love would carry them through it, and they would be okay. 

Then the idea of Tobin staying, and staying for her popped in her mind. The drunken confession of love, the thought that Tobin would give up on her dream just to keep them together and in the same place. The idea was romantic to say the least, it was what every girl would swoon over, but it was wrong. She couldn’t let Tobin stay, she could ask and she wouldn’t accept it. Tobin had to go, she had to play, she had to do what she was meant to do. She knew it was the only way for Tobin to be truly happy, but the idea still hurt.

 

Christen took a deep breath, “I know you think that you aren’t good enough to get a contract, and I know you think you can just turn it down, but that’s not true. Tobin they want you, and they want you bad. No team pays for a high school player to come to a different country and pays for everything if they don’t want them on the team. This is your chance, your shot and you’re going to take it, there’s just no way you turn it down.”

“That’s what Kling said.”

 

—

 

**36 hours earlier**

 

“I can’t believe my best friend is going to be a professional soccer player.” Meghan was laying backwards on Tobin’s bed, her head hanging a little off the edge, “Will you sign my jersey? Hey what number will you be?”

“First, I refuse to sign anything for you,” she joked as she spun around in her desk chair, “Second, I don’t know what number I’ll wear. No one has 17 yet so hopefully I’ll get that.”

Meghan sat up letting the blood rush back from her head, “Send me a jersey the minute you get one, I mean the very second. I want to wear it around and brag about how I knew you back when.”

Tobin laughed letting herself sink down in the chair, “They have to offer me a contract first.” 

“Dude, there is no way they won’t sign you,” she said with confidence. “You’re like the best middy ever, they minute they see your skill they will be falling over trying to get you to sign.”

The thought had been buzzing around in her head for hours. Together the two best friends had looked up every single thing they could about the small Scottish Team. They spent hours watching current and former player getting a feel for how the women played. They were an aggressive team with attacking skills that matched bigger teams. Every player seemed to know how to score and from every angle. The midfield was what Tobin focused on, she watched how they played, how they pushed the ball up with ease. They were the reigning champions and they didn’t look like they would be giving up the title anytime soon, crushing other teams sometimes by more than five points. 

The more they looked into the team the more nervous Tobin got. She was being pushed onto a winning team that had been playing together for years. A lot of the women were older, though some were still in there late teens. Most of them played for their national team either on the senior team or the junior teams. Here was Tobin some no one coming from nowhere New Jersey, and American coming in to take someones spot. Maybe she wasn’t really ready for this. 

“You really think they’ll want me?” Tobin asked nervously. 

Meghan scooted to the edge of the bed letting her feet dangle off the end, “Dude, of course they will. You’re going to kick ass.”

She looked over at her computer playing a highlight video of the team, “They are all national team players.”

“And you were offered a full ride to the top soccer school in the country. If New Jersey wasn’t such a nothing state scouts would have been here and you would be on the youth teams for sure.” Meghan tried to pump up her best friend who was obviously rethinking her choice, “Tobin you are one of the best midfielders I have ever seen play, and I am counting the national team.”

Tobin looked over to her friend biting her lip nervously, “I don’t know, I just don’t want to make a fool out of myself.”

“Impossible,” she said quickly, then smirked when her friend gave her a ‘yeah right’ look. “Okay, maybe it is possible, but you wont. Dude, I don’t think I have ever told you this before, but they way you play, it’s some of the most amazing stuff I have ever seen, it’s kind of beautiful.”

“No way,” she giggled a little at the thought. 

“Tobin, the way you move the ball, it’s almost like a dance more than play. You see things no one else can see, openings that shouldn’t be there. Every time someone gives you a inch you make them pay for it. Your services from corners are insane and should be studied. The way you cut and break ankles makes me sick. And you’re a forwards dream.” she looked up at her friend making sure the nervous girl understood she meant every word she was saying. “You won’t make a fool of yourself. You’re going to do great.”

She shrugged her typical shrug, the one she did when she was a little embarrassed, that was the first time she had ever heard her best friend brag on her like that, she was proud. “Thanks dude.”

“Yeah sure.” she said with a little smile, then threw a pillow at her, “Don’t forget to send me a jersey or I’ll take it all back, and slam you in tumblr to all your new fans.”

Tobin started to crack up, “You got it.”

They both laughed for a little while letting the awkwardness of Meghan’s wonderful comments leave the air letting them get back to normal. 

“So what’s the plan to get Chris back?” Meghan asked

Tobin sat up in the chair, “First thing we need to do is hit up Target, I need some christmas lights.”

 

—

 

“Man everyone is so excited for you,” she said with a little attitude. “It’s like everyone is just pushing you out there.”

Tobin looked up at her, not expecting that reaction from the calm girl, “No one is pushing me.”

“It just feels like everyone wants you to go, to sign a contract, not come back.” she could feel the anger rising inside her. “I don’t get why no one is asking you to stay.”

“That’s not true.” Tobin said quickly, “My mom asked me to stay, but it’s my choice, and this is a good one. I’m not going over there forever, I’ll come home.”

“For what?” she asked with bite, “Tobin do you even know how your life will be out there, how amazing it will be. Once you see that, once you are on the field playing you won’t want to come back.”

“You don’t know that,” she snapped. Tobin didn’t think the patient girl would get upset with her, she would get to the point where she was raising her voice. “Of course I’ll want to come home, I have family and friends, and…” she paused before saying the words she truly wanted to say.

Christen shook her head, “You’ll find friends over there, you’ll find a soccer family and you’ll have fans.” she lowered her head, “I’m sure you’ll even find something else over there… someone else.”

_Someone else._

Tobin knew exactly what she meant by all that, the ‘someone else’ she meant. “Christen I don’t want to find someone else over there.” it took everything in her to not reach across the table and take the girls hand. “Look, I know that I’ll find friends, but they won’t be my friends. I know I’ll have a soccer family, but they won’t be my family. As for fans, I doubt it, but if I do, it won’t be the same as everyone here being my fans. It won’t be the same, and I’ll come home. I don’t know what happens to me over there, I’ve talked about it with Ashlyn.”

 

—

 

**24 Hours Earlier**

Tobin sat in the stock room scarfing down a sandwich from the sub shop across the street. She had her lunch/dinner break and she always ate alone. She was the only worker on the afternoon shift for the stock room, and they guy that worked the front was not the best conversationalist so she kept to herself. Today, she had Ashlyn who stayed late for inventory, and of course Tobin was talking her ear off about everything. 

“I mean, what even happens if I get a contract?” she asked sipping on her drink. 

Ashlyn was busy typing away on the computer, but she was listening to the girl sitting just outside the office. “They have a big conference for you. They draw up a contact and you sign it in front of a bunch of cameras, and then hold up a jersey and take a few photos, then you do an interview.”

“No I mean, what happens to my life,” Tobin chuckled, she had seen what happens the minute she gets the contract, it was the after she didn’t know about. 

Ashlyn typed a few more numbers into the spreadsheet before answering, “Well, you’ll be pro, so you’ll live that life.” she said simply, like it was the easiest thing ever, “You’ll probably get paid a lump sum up front for signing, then you get paid per game. You’ll have practice everyday, or at least conditioning every day. You’ll have an apartment, probably with one of the girls on the team, and I’m sure you’ll make friends pretty quickly. Singing and American is always a big deal in Europe so you’ll be paraded around for a while and do interviews, so they’ll probably get you a manager or you’ll use the team manager. Most likely they will get you a sponsorship and that’ll bring in more cash, and you’ll just live life, play soccer, take photos, hang out, be cool.”

“I’m not cool,” Tobin laughed, “You think people will want to sponsor me?”

Ashlyn turned to face her, “Yeah why not, you’re pretty good, and you have a good face, you could sell water, or socks, or something weird like that. Whenever you start winning they will find more things for you.”

Tobin looked down at her water bottle and imagined her face on the bottle, “Sponsorships are strange.”

“You think?” Ashlyn laughed, “Wait until people are following you on Instagram that you don’t even know.”

Her eyes got big a the statement, “I don’t even have an Instagram.”

“Get one,” she said with a little chuckle, “You want fans, they make the whole thing worth it. If you communicate with them, they will love you, and they’ll want more, which is good.”

“Do you have a huge fan base in Europe?” 

Ashlyn nodded, “Yeah I do, hopefully it will be bigger when I get out of here in a few weeks and get back in the goal.”

“So you are all healed up?” Tobin asked with a big smile, she had been waiting on the news if her older friend was better.

“Yup,” she answered popping the ‘p’, “The doctors said I am good to go. I talked to the team yesterday and they are more anxious for me to come back than I am.”

“So we will be in Europe together.” Tobin said excitedly. “And Ali, she’s going back to Frankfurt right, she’s done taking care of you?”

Ashlyn started to laugh, “Yeah, she’s headed back too. Looks like we will all be over there together.”

Tobin couldn’t contain her excitement. She was already happy to be going, to have friends over there, but to know Ashlyn wasn’t going to be far away made her more excited than before. The older girl had become such a big part of her life, living far from her was one of the things Tobin was dreading about leaving. 

“So how’s Christen doing with all this?” Ashlyn asked turning the conversation to a more serious tone. 

“We haven’t talked yet, I am giving her space.” Tobin said, her voice lowering as she spoke, “I don’t want to crowd her. I just want her to be happy.”

“Don’t you think she’ll be happy with you, I mean, she’s been pretty miserable lately.” she didn’t want to give away too much about the other girl, but she also didn’t want to see the two of them make the mistake of loosing each other. “Maybe you should talk to her before you leave.”

“I have a plan,” Tobin said with a smirk, “I actually need your help with it. Do you have a table and chairs?”

 

—

 

Christen was trying to keep her words to herself, but she could see the girl slipping through her fingers. She may have come to this dinner a little unsure about how she felt about getting back together with Tobin, but hearing that fact that Tobin might be picking soccer over her was tearing her up inside. 

“Wow, so Ashlyn, Ali and Lindsey will all be in Europe.” she said lifting her glass to her lips, “And I’ll be at UNC, alone.”

“Chris, you won’t be alone,” Tobin said simply, missing the point of the comment, “You’ll have Kling and your friend Allie.”

Christen shook her head, Tobin was still acting like it was no big deal that she was planning on going to Europe, like it wasn’t a situation that they needed to get through. Sure, Meghan and Allie were going to be at school, and she would make other friends, but none of them were Tobin, none of them were the girl she was in love with. She had spent so much time imagining them together at school, dreaming of them together and now it was all falling apart, and Tobin was acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe the New Tobin was still here, maybe Christen was never going to get her Tobin back. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Tobin said looking at Christen’s worried face, “I know that we had plans, that we had talked about school, and being there together and now I am talking about not being there at all, not being there with you.”

That wasn’t want she was expecting out of the girl across from her, “I just don’t really know what to say to all of this.”

Tobin reached across the table touching her hand softly, “I can’t say that I am not going to stay in Scotland. I can’t say that I am not going to come back and go to college. I can’t say anything like that because I honestly don’t know. I have no idea how it’s going to be, and what I am going to choose.”

She wanted to pull her hand away, feeling Tobin’s thumb gently rub the back of her hand was making Christen want to cry. She didn’t want to hear how unsure Tobin was, she didn’t want to hear maybe’s, she wanted Tobin to tell her exactly what was going to happen, to tell her she was going to go over there for two weeks then come home, come back to her and they were going to be okay. She wanted to hear that her Tobin would be back and they could be together, and everything would be exactly how she had been imagining it for the last two months. She wanted to hear those magical words, that Tobin loved her and she was coming home, she wanted to hear the words with so much conviction and confidence that she never had to question them.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not confident in anything.” Tobin gave a little laugh. “I have never been confident in my entire life. I think that’s why all this happened.” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” she answered. 

Tobin took a deep breath, it was time to open up. “I have never really known who I was. I’ve always just let everyone define me. I’m a daughter, a sister and a best friend. I’m a soccer player and a student. None of that was really a choice, it was just things that I was either born into or kind of fell into. I never really chose soccer, it kind of just chose me and I never gave it up because I love it, but I’m not really sure if it was every anything that I really thought about fully. I didn’t have a choice on the daughter, sister and student thing, that’s just how it was, but the best friend thing, it never really felt like a option for me either. 

‘Kling and I have been best friends since I can remember and we just never split, never really wanted to. I have been defining myself, the friend part of me by our relationship ever since. I hid behind it most of the time. Everyone made me so nervous that I couldn’t talk to them, get to know them, let them get to know me, but when I think about it, there was no me to get to know. I was, and have been, an extension of other people, that was until you came along.’

‘Chris, you changed me. Whenever we finally started to date I didn’t feel like an extension of someone anymore, I felt like me, like this whole new person. It was like, I don’t know how to describe it, almost like there was you and me but I wasn't apart of it, it was apart of me. It wa less like I was watching my life and more like I was living it, I was finally in control and I was falling and it was the most perfect thing in the world. I didn’t feel like I was on the outside letting things happen to me, I was no longer defined by my life because I didn’t have a choice, but because I wanted it, I wanted you, I wanted to love you, and I wanted you to love me. It changed me… I think that’s what broke us, that I as this new person, someone you didn’t sign up for.”

Now it was Christen’s turn to hold tight to Tobin’s hand, “That’s not true.” she stopped herself, she didn’t need to tell Tobin what she wanted to hear, she needed to tell her the truth. “Honestly, it wasn’t the new you, it was the whole thing. Tobin I loved the confident you, I loved the girl who would talk for hours, who wasn’t afraid to share pieces of her with the people she trusted. I loved that part of you, I just didn’t like the girl who left me alone, who showed up late or not at all. I didn’t like the girl who went to a house party and danced with another girl.”  
“That was all my fault,” Tobin said quickly, “I can sit and pretend like it was Lindsey, like she dragged me out, but that was all me. I didn’t do it to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you, I just, I don’t know, I was so upset and everyone was yelling at me…”

“Who yelled at you?” Christen interrupted her.

Tobin looked down, “First Kling, then Alex, then Kling again, then Morgan and Hope, and it just seemed like everyone was against me, and maybe I deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve that,” Christen said holding onto her hand, “You messed up, but not in a way that you deserved all of them coming down on you. Really, the whole thing with Lindsey was partially my fault, I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”

“You had every right to be upset, I left you at the restaurant even though you had already talked to me about it,” she was ready to admit all her wrongs, let Christen know she understood what happened and why. “I could have talked about it with you, but instead I was a dick on the field, I should have just waited to talk to you, figure it out, explained myself.”

Christen gave a soft smile, “I should have listened to you. If I would have just listened then you wouldn’t have gone off like that.”

“Chris, this is all my fault, I was being stupid.” she said quickly making sure Christen knew how sorry she was. “I had no excuse to miss dinner, to leave you hanging with your parents. I have no excuse for the party, for dancing with that girl, for drinking, for being a crazy person.”

A laughed escaped her lips, “You were a little crazy.” she squeezed her hand, “But it’s okay, we are okay.”

Tobin looked up at her, those green/grey eyes looking longingly at her; it was by sheer will power alone that Tobin didn’t lean over and kiss her. All she wanted in that moment was to hold Christen in her arms and tell her that everything was okay, that they were okay, but that’s not what this dinner was about.

 

—

 

**12 Hours Earlier**

Tobin had everything she needed, the table, the lights, the food, the perfect playlist all she needed was the girl. She had spent the last day and a half getting her life back together, patching the holes she had created with her friends and family and it was finally time to patch everything up with the girl she was in love with. The plan was perfect, setting up the field in a way that would make Christen smile, and Tobin was ready to apologize like she had never done before and get her girl back. 

She spent the whole morning talking to her parents, one final discussion about her leaving. Her mom was still against it but Tobin made it clear that she was an adult now and she could make her own choices. Eventually her mom gave in and Tobin had hopped over another obstacle. 

Next she finalized her plans with her sister. She and Perry were going to leave exactly ten days from now, get on a plane and go across the huge body of water so Tobin could prove she was good enough. They spent hours talking about what they were going to do, Perry fantasizing about never coming back, finding a British boy and settling down in a foreign land. All Tobin could think about was how she was going to make a long distance relationship work if she got a contract and Christen agreed to be with her again. Eventually it was time to put her plan into action and her sister was more than happy to help. 

Two hours before it was go time Tobin sat in her room, her computer open to a video on how to properly wear suspenders when her phone beeped. She looked down to see a message from someone on Facebook messenger app. She clicked it open to see a name she only recognized from stories.

 ** _Kelley O’Hara_**  
Hey I know you don’t know me, but I want to talk to you.

 ** _Tobin Heath_**  
Okay, what about?

Just then her phone rang, Kelley was trying to video chat. She panicked for a second thinking about ignoring the call, but Kelley knew she was active, now that she messaged her back, so there was no ignoring it. 

Tobin took a deep breath and clicked the chat button, shocked by how beautiful the girl on the other end truly was. Kelley had long brown hair that framed her freckled face, she had kind eyes and a nice smile and Tobin wanted to hang up the phone. This was the girl Christen had before she dated Tobin and immediately she felt insecure about herself. Kelley always sounded awesome in the stories Christen told her, and now looking at her, in a video chat where no one ever looked good and the girl looked like a fucking supermodel. How in the world was she going to compare herself to this girl, the surfer, the extreme camper, the soccer player going to Stanford, the girl Christen was in love with for years. 

She took a deep breath trying to get her insecurities in check, “Hey.”

“So, you’re Tobin,” Kelley said with a smile.

Tobin nodded, “And, you’re The Kelley.”

“Oh man, I didn’t know there was a ‘the’ in front of my name.” she chuckled a bit, “That must be a bad thing.”

“Kind of,” Tobin answered honestly, she had no reason to lie to the girl, after all they both knew how things ended with Kelley and Christen and Tobin didn’t feel the need to make her feel better about it, plus it was nice taking her down a little.

“Well, I didn’t really call to small talk, so I’ll get straight to the point,” her voice was a little scratchy like she had just got done yelling or something, but it was smooth and Tobin could tell why Christen like listening to her talk. “I’m not going to sugar coat this dude, Chrissy and I have been talking about what happened with you two, and frankly, you broke her heart, and I know you are about to try and get her back and I’m going to tell you to really think about it before you do that.”

Tobin scoffed. How the hell was she going to tell her about Christen? This girl was the reason Christen was broken for over six months, the reason for so many tears, and now she was trying to tell Tobin to think twice. No way! She wasn’t going to let some ex-girlfriend who had no idea about their relationship keep her away from the woman she loved.

“Before you go off on me, let me explain,” Kelley said quickly, “I don’t know you, but I know Chrissy and I know what kind of things she can handle, and I don’t think she can take it if you mess up again, especially if you two are so far away, because I am assuming you are going pro, because it would be stupid not to. Honestly, by what she is telling me, you still have no idea what you want, school, pro career, or whatever else you can do, and that’s not what Chris needs, she needs some consistency.”

“I’m consistent,” Tobin defended herself. “You don’t know me.”  
“I do know, because I was you.” Kelley said in a calm voice. “Jesus man, I was you, walking out on her, not paying attention to her, hanging out and going to parties instead of spending time with her. I was horrible to her, and I would apologize and she would take me back. I promised her I would change and I never did. Whenever we were talking about schools we planned on being together, we planned on going to the same school and all that, and I did the exact thing you’re doing now. I told her I would do one thing and I did the opposite. I was suppose to go to UNC with her, but I choose Stanford, it was stupid, I know it’s one of the reasons we broke up, but it was my choice. In doing so I dragged her through the mud for months, telling her that I didn’t know which school when I knew exactly what I was going to do. I made that mistake, I got her hopes up when I knew I was just going to hurt her. Guess what? When I crushed her, when I told her I was going to Stanford, I apologized and she took me back, again. That’s the thing about Chrissy, when she loves, she loves hard, and she’ll trust you when you tell her something, I took advantage of that because her loving me felt so amazing. Knowing Chrissy loves you, seeing her put her everything into you makes you feel like you are on top of the world and you never want to loose that feeling, so I kept hurting her and I kept making it up to her so she wouldn’t leave me. It took her moving away for me to realize who I was and how I was treating her. It took me loosing her to realize that I never deserved her.”

Tobin opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. 

“Listen, I’m not saying not to love her, not to be with her, I’m saying you need to really ask yourself if you are worthy of her. Ask yourself if you will hurt her again. Ask yourself who you will be in two weeks, two months, two years. Ask yourself if having her back for just a second is worth her hurting for a long time.”

The thought ran through her head, and all Tobin could say was, “I understand.”

Kelley looked away from the camera for a second and said something to someone before turning back, “I have to go. Be good to her Tobin, she is worth the world.”

“Yeah, I… I will.” Tobin stuttered out.

The chat ended, and Tobin’s confidence was now lower than it had been in the last few days. She sat back in her chair and thought about her life.

 

—

 

“Christen, I am in love with you,” she said sweetly, moving her chair so they could sit close together. “I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” Christen answered in an airy voice. 

Tobin squeezed tight to her hand, “You make me happy, and I want that to always be the case. I know we will have our ups and downs, but I want to always be the one that brings you from those downs back to those ups. I want to be the source of your happiness.” she lowered her head, “But I’m not sure I can be that right now.”

Christen felt her chest getting tight, “What do you mean?”

Looking up, Tobin was in shock by how bright Christen’s eyes truly were, “I mean, I am still trying to figure out who I am, who I truly am and the one thing I don’t want to do is hurt you.”

“So you don’t wan to be together?” the question was cutting her up inside.

“Not yet,” Tobin leaned into her, “If you’ll let me, if you’ll say yes I want to try again, and go slow. I want you to get to know me, this me, not the shy girl who couldn’t speak to you, not the one who hide behind everything. I want you to get to know this me, the one that needs to go to this tryout, the one that needs to hangout with friends, the one that needs to express herself, the one who needs to figure some things out, the one that’s kind of confused on a whole bunch of stuff right now. I want you to get to know me and if you love me, if you still want to be with me, then I am all in. Christen, I love you, and I want you, but I want to give you the best of me, you deserve the best of me. So if you’ll give me time, let me figure it all out and I promise I will give you the best of me.”

Christen leaned and and captured Tobin’s lips, cupping her soft cheek in her hand. She deepened the kiss a little, feeling Tobin’s hand move up her arm pulling her a little closer. This may not have been the outcome she was looking for, but it was better. 

Tobin was right, she still had a lot to figure out, and so did Christen. They were both about to start a whole new adventure in their lives and who knows what was going to become of them as individuals, so it only made sense to figure that out before they tried to force themselves to be together. Besides, in Christen’s mind she knew one thing to be true, there was no way Tobin Heath, not to old Tobin she first met, and not the new Tobin that scared her, but this Tobin sitting in front of her, there was no way she could turn into anything but exactly what Christen wanted.

“So we go slow?” Christen asked holding Tobin’s hand. “We figure everything out first, then we figure us out.”

“If that’s okay with you.” Tobin asked, her eyes big, focused on the girl in front of her. 

Christen nodded, “I can do that. Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“We make the big choices in person,” she said swallowing hard, “No facetime, no texting, no calls. The big choices, the being together or not, we do that face to face.”

Tobin nodded, “Yeah, I can do that.” She reached up and cupped Christen cheek, “Can you promise me one thing too?”

“Anything.” Christen said with a big smile. 

“Talk to me, don’t let me do something you don't like without telling me.” Tobin said in a pleading tone. “Tell me when I’m being a jerk, tell me when you need more of me, tell me when you need less. Talk to me about everything, I never want to be anything less than what you need, but I need you to tell me because I don’t always get it, but I want to.”

Christen leaned into her hand, “Of course.” she kissed the palm of her hand. “You need to talk to me to, let me know everything that is going on. I need to know when you’re scared or hurt. I need to know when you need space or time, and when you figure things out I need to know so we can figure us out together. We have to do it together or it won’t work.”

“I promise,” Tobin leaned in and kissed her again, taking in everything that was Christen. “I want to tell you that I love you, because I do, but I want to save it, I want to wait until we are officially together, is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay.” she said in a sad tone. 

“But it’s true,” she said sweetly, “I don’t want you to forget it or think it’s not true, because I do.”

“I do too.” Christen leaned in to kiss her making sure Tobin knew she understood exactly what she meant. “One last thing.”

Tobin smiled, “Yeah?”

“I get the first jersey when you sign your contract.” Christen said with a big smile. 

Tobin started to laugh, “I’ll even sign it for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS LEFT! 
> 
> We are almost at the end. I'm excited and sad, but I also have another story rolling already so I'm not too sad. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I will get the next two up as soon as I can.
> 
> Thank you for all the love and support.


	32. I'm A Runaway (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has moved in with Alex, and she is avoiding talking about the one thing she really needs to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so damn long. Moving was hell, but it's almost over now and I can focus on writing, you know when I'm not working and working out and playing with my dogs, and all that other stuff.
> 
> Just go ahead and overlook all typos and enjoy.

**Alex:** Are you playing soccer today?  
 **Tobin:** Yeah I promised Kling.  
 **Alex:** Will you be back by 8?  
 **Tobin:** I can be back by 8… If that’s what you want.  
 **Alex:** That would be great!!! I’m making lasagna.  
 **Tobin:** You got it babe… And yum, can’t wait. See you in a few hours.  
 **Alex:** Love you.  
 **Tobin:** Love you more.

It had been over a week since Tobin left her house, and she never really looked back. She settled into Alex’s room a lot smoother than she ever thought she could have, seeing as she was now living with her girlfriend. Somehow the idea didn’t scare her anymore, well it did, but not in the way that she thought it would. She wasn’t scared to be with Alex, to sleep in the bed with her, to share an entire space with her, she was only scared that she didn’t have much a choice. 

Over the week she learned that her mom was still ‘not okay’ with everything that went down at dinner, about who Tobin was, who she loved, so Tobin figured it was better to just stay away. There was only a week and a half left until she left New Jersey and headed to North Carolina, there was no point in ruining the rest of her summer with this big fight, so she stayed away from the house. She told Alex three days ago that she would go to Meghans, there was a futon in her dads office that Tobin always stayed on during extended stays, they called it her room, and there was never a time when she was denied the small room. Alex insisted Tobin stay with her, telling her in the most loving way possible that they needed as much time together as they could get, and Tobin agreed, mainly because she knew Alex was just trying to look after her, take care of her, and denying Alex that would just make her worry and that was the last thing she wanted to do. 

It was an easier transition than she ever thought it would be. Suddenly there was a draw in Alex’s dresser that held her shirts and underwear, and a section in the closet that her jeans were hung up. Perry had snuck out a few more clothing items to Tobin over the week, and Alex had no problem finding a spot for everything. The two girls had their spots on the bed, Tobin’s phone charger no permanently plugged into the wall on _her side_. She had her own pillow, one that was starting to form to her head, and they found ways to sleep that Tobin never got too hot from body heat Alex constantly put out. They were comfortable, sunk into a routine that fit them perfectly, and if it wasn’t for the fact that she was practically kicked out of her house Tobin would have enjoyed every single second living with her girlfriend.

 

Now she was in Meghan’s car, fresh off her Tuesday work shift and headed towards her house at a time she knew her mother would be gone, but her sisters would be waiting outside for her. The one thing Tobin refused to do was give up on the rest of her family, the ones that supported her, the ones that loved her no matter what. She talked to her sisters several times throughout her day, and texted Jeff at least once a day. She and her dad texted during the day and she called him every other night just to let him know that she was still okay. She got her ‘mom updates’ from her dad, and the real deal from her sisters when they talked. No matter what they had to say Tobin knew it wasn’t time for her to go back yet, even if she wanted to, even if she did want to sleep in her room in her bed with her things, she wasn’t ready. Alex’s place was slowly becoming her place, their space together, but it didn’t take away from the fact that she was away from the house she grew up in, the only place she really knew. The way her sisters talked about their mother, even with them trying to sugar coat the whole thing, it was pretty obvious Tobin was more than likely never going to go back to her house.

She pulled into her driveway, her sisters sitting on the steps of the front porch of the house she had lived in her entire life, smiles on their faces as she shut off the engine and climbed out the car. They rushed over to her, and hugged her tight, one after the other, bringing her in so close so felt like she was being engulfed, and it felt nice. It had been a week since she saw her sisters in person, all the stuff they snuck out the house was usually dropped off by the tree in the woods behind the house, or Meghan would pick it up, she had missed their faces, their presence, and even though she had gone a lot longer without seeing them before, this felt different, this reunion felt bigger somehow, like it just meant so much more. 

“How are you little sis?” Perry asked with her mouth turned into a sad smile. 

Tobin shoved her hands in her pockets and gave a shrug, “Pretty good I guess.”

“Is Alex taking care of you?” Katie asked, her hands mimicking her little sister and entering her pockets. 

“Yeah, she is,” she answered with a smile, “Everyone is really nice over there. They understand.” She looked up to her sisters, “I miss you two.”

Perry put her arms around her little sisters neck, “We miss you too Toby, it’s not the same without you.”

Tobin started to chuckle, not surprised her older sister broker down this quickly, “You can come live with me.”

“I wish,” Perry said, letting go of her sister. “Mom is as crazy as ever.”

This comment made Tobin lower her head, looking down at her dirty converse, one untied and the other loosely on it’s way, “How’s that all going?”

Katie took a deep breath, running her hand through her long hair, “It’s definitely better than it was.” She shrugged, that typical Heath move that meant she was saying something she didn’t really believe in. “It started off with her and dad yelling at each other, all this stupid crap, then it went to only short burst screams, now they are talking low enough that we can’t hear anything.”

“Yeah, it was better with the screaming, then we knew what was going on,” Perry huffed, “Now it’s kind of creepy quiet.”

“Her not screaming is way worse,” Tobin said, remember the few times that she got in trouble with her mother, “Talking calmly means she’s had a chance to think it out.”

Katie nodded, “Yeah, and I don’t think the outcome is good Tobs,” she sighed looking away for a second, “I’m not sure she’s ever going to be okay, at least not for a while.”

Tobin could feel her chest tighten, she wanted to cry, but not now, not again. She had been crying for almost a week, every time she felt herself get even a little happy, tears would some how be flowing down her cheeks and she would have to sit down and let the whole thing take over her again. She didn’t want to cry, she was tired of it all, tired of how it made her whole body ache, and the skin on her cheeks dry. She was tired of how bloodshot her eyes looked, and how she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath even after she had stopped, but most of all she was tired of people asking if she was okay, rubbing her back and telling her she was going to be okay, when she knew she probably wasn’t going to be okay, not for a while. 

Instead of crying, instead of letting the thought of her mother not being over everything, not being sure of her, Tobin took her snapback off for a second, pushed her hair back and set it on her head backwards. She looked up at her sisters with a smile. “I’m not worried about it, I mean, I figured she would do this. I wanted to tell her when I was gone to college, you know so I didn’t have to deal with it here, but, yeah, I guess, I jumped the gun.” She paused for a second to catch her breath, “I’m going to stay with Alex until next Friday when she leaves for Cali, and then go to Meghan’s for Saturday and then I’m off to UNC on Sunday, no big deal.”

It was a big deal and Katie knew it was, but she wasn’t about to make it into one when Tobin was clearly struggling to keep herself together, “Sounds like a good plan, Perry and I can pack up your clothes and stuff, just let us know what you want and we can put it all in a few boxes and bring it to Kling’s house.”

“Yeah? That’s so awesome of you guys,” Tobin said with one of the first genuine smiles she had given all week, “All I need is my clothes, soccer gear, and my skate boards, shouldn’t be more than like four boxes.”

“Dad will help us out,” Perry said happily, “And we’ll make Jeff help us get them over to the Klingenberg house.”

“Thanks guys,” she put her arms out to hug her sisters, both of them coming in to smother her again, “I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too Toby.” Perry responded.

“And we’ll take care of everything.” Katie said giving her sister another squeeze. 

They broke the hug and looked at each other, starting to smile and laugh as they got through the awkwardness after such a meaningful hug. The two older sister’s gave their little sisters another solo hug before letting her go.

Katie held the keys to Tobin’s car up, “So, you sure about this?”

Tobin took a deep breath before reaching up for the keys, “It’s my car, I need it.”

“I know you do,” the older girl said in a low voice, “She’s going to freak.”

“There’s not much else she can do to me,” Tobin looked down at eh keys in her hand, “After this I don’t have to come back. The only reason she’s holding it is so I will have to come back and talk to her.”

“That’s true,” Katie nodded. 

“Well,” Tobin looked over at her car that had been sitting in the driveway since that last time she drove it, the night of the dinner, “I’m not going to play her games. I’ll come tonight after soccer and pick it up.”

Katie put her arm around her little sister, “Good luck.”

She looked up at her sister, “I got this.”

With that the three girls said their final goodbyes, making plans to video chat the next night and come up with a plan to get all Tobin’s stuff out the house without their mom knowing. After hammering out the full details, Tobin got back in Meghan’s car and took off for the park. Her car would have to wait until tonight when she had a separate getaway driver, just incase her mom was home. The whole purpose of the big meeting today was to get her keys early so she could make a plan, plus Katie and Perry were both going out tonight and wouldn’t be there to give her the keys when she should up after the sun went down. Plus she just really needed to see her sisters. For now she was headed to soccer, to play the game she loved and take her mind off everything.

 

—

 

“Hey, how did it go?” Meghan asked as she jumped out the passengers seat of her girlfriends car.”

Tobin looked over at her friend, “Good, I got the keys, made a plan and all that.” She said with a smile.   
“So I can have my car back?” Meghan asked. 

“Yeah, just drop me by the house after the game and I can pick up my car.” Tobin told her as she grabbed her bag from the passengers seat. “She needs gas by the way.”

Meghan laughed, “Well I guess we will be stopping by the gas station so you can fill up the tank.”

Tobin tossed her the keys to the car, “Come on, I’m a runaway, I can’t afford to fill a gas tank.”

“A runaway with a job, that stays with her girlfriend who does almost everything for her.” Meghan laughed, “I don’t pity you Tobin Heath.”

“You’re cold hearted,” She chuckled. 

They made their way down the field, Morgan tagging along as they walked. It had only been a week, but Tobin had resorted to joking about her situation with everyone, it was the only way she knew how to deal with it without crying. She called herself a runaway, it made her situation sound a lot better than it was, it made her less sad about the whole thing. 

Every time she saw someone she knew, one of her new summer friends, each of them asked her about what happened, they all knew about Tobin the gay teen kicked out of her religious house to live with her girlfriend before college. Most of the time it didn’t bother her, all her friends were nice and sympathetic, always offering up a story from when they had an argument with their parents and left for a day or two, each of them letting her know she had a place at their house if she needed it. They were all sweet, making sure she knew she was loved even though they had only been her friends for a few months, it was nice knowing she mean that much to everyone. 

Even thought she felt loved, it got a little tiring after a while, everyone feeling sorry for her, walking on eggshells around her, like at any second they could say the wrong thing about having loving parents and Tobin would just break down and cry; she hated it, so she made a joke or two and it cleared the air, now the topic wasn’t talked about as much and when it was she could deflect, stop herself from really feeling around the large crowd. The only place Tobin felt okay feeling all the emotions she truly felt was wrapped in Alex’s arms, laying in her bed, their bed, when they were alone and she was safe. 

 

Tobin sat down in the grass and took her cleats from her bag, starting to lace them up. She looked over to see Christen standing next to JJ, they were both smiling, and JJ reached out and touched Christen’s arm. 

“What’s going on with that?” Tobin asked Morgan.

Morgan looked over to the two girls who had moved closer as they talked, “Pretty sure that’s a thing,” she said with a smile. “They’ve been talking for a few weeks now, I think.”

“That’s awesome,” Tobin said with a big smile.

It had been a while since she really checked in with Christen. They really only said hello’s and other small pleasant things. Tobin had been meaning to talk to her, really talk to her, but everything went down with her family and it kind of fell by the way side. She had hoped that everything was okay between them, after all they would be teammates, and hopefully friends. Seeing her smile at JJ, made Tobin feel warm for the first time in a week, somehow knowing Christen was happy made her happy too. Something was working out, in this wild week when everything seemed like it was falling apart, something was coming together.

Tobin got up, her cleats on and her shin guards tucked into her socks. She kicked a ball up to her feet and juggled a bit before noticing the group of boys huddle in a semicircle just a few feet away. She kicked the ball up aiming it right in the middle of the guys. Everyone looked up and smiled over to her, waving her to their little group.

“What up Tobs?” Tim asked with a smile

Tobin waved to everyone in the group, “Not much, anxious to play.”

“I bet, we’ve missed you the last couple of games,” Bobby smiled. “We’ve had to count on Jozy to play mid, it’s been a disaster.”

“Oh, sure, like you’ve been on your game, dude,” Jozy chuckled giving the guy a push.

“Where’s Lex,” Clint asked.

Tobin kicked the ball up balancing it on her knee for a second, “She’s home, cooking dinner.”

“What, you have her cooking dinner, instead of on the field?” Jozy exclaimed.

She let the ball fall to the ground and passed it across the circle, “After the last game she attended, she didn’t really want to come back,” Tobin said with a small smile. “Plus I think she likes cooking for me.”

“Man, she’s smart, plays soccer like a beast, mega hot, and she cooks,” Clint whistled, “Does she have a sister?”

“Yeah, two actually,” Tobin said with a huge smile, “But they are out of your league, bro.” 

“Oh like Alex is in your league,” Clint scoffed. 

Tobin smiled up at him, “Nah, she’s totally out of my league.” She popped the ball in the air, over her head, and trapped it between her calf and thigh behind her, “But my skills on the field make up the point difference between us.” She looked over to Clint with a smirk, “Your skills would never make up the point difference.” She flicked the ball in the air kicking it towards the middle of the field and started to run off. 

Everyone laughed at Clint as they took off after Tobin, doing a few warm ups before the game started. Soon the field was filled wit all the players and the game started. 

 

The idea of playing soccer was a little weird, even though she had been on that field, in her home for as long as she could remember it was a little odd kicking the ball around. Tobin wouldn’t even know about soccer, wouldn’t have played when she was so little if it wasn’t for her mom. Maybe she wouldn’t have fallen in love with the game without her, without her showing her the field, the ball, and how it felt to run down and score a goal. 

Her entire life her mom had done one thing constantly, she kept her in soccer. During the days when the game failed her, when it was no longer fun, when her legs hurt and her knees felt like they were going to explode, when her feet were so swollen she could barley take her cleats off. The days when it would have been easier to give up on soccer then to get up the next day and go for it all over again, her mom was there to tell her to keep going. Her mom was the one filling the tub with ice water and helping her into it. Her mom was the one bringing her food on the couch when she was too sore to get up. It was her mom that wrapped her leg when she take a nasty fall on the field. 

There was a point in her life when she thought she would never run again, she would never kick a ball again, never have that feeling that the pitch gave her. Seventh grade, the second to last game of the season, she was bringing the ball up the left, faster than she had in her life, running so quickly she couldn’t even see the crowd, only the defenders to beat, and her forward to pass to. The game was almost over, just over time left and even that clock was ticking down. They were all tied up, and if they scored one more point they would make it to the playoffs. This was Tobin’s time to shine, it was her time to show the coach that she as ready to be a captain next year, that she could handle the pressure. So she did what she knew how to do, she let her body take over and make the moves not even her brain could keep up with. She cut corners and changed directions without losing the ball a single time. She was almost where she needed to be, the perfect time and place to pass the ball up the senior forward and score the goal. She kicked the ball up, the perfect arch heading right where she needed it to go, but before she could watch it land she was on the ground, clutching her ankle, screaming out in pain.

The defender had gone for the slide tackle too late and caught Tobin right in the leg, bending her ankle the wrong way, sending her straight to the ground. She didn’t remember much, just the blinding pain, the feel of the grass on her legs, the noise of the crowd as they cheered for the ball going in the back of the net, then the gasps as they realized the girl who made it happen was now on the ground writhing in pain. She remembered the team gathering around her, before the coach was out there, before the medics were putting her on the stretcher and picking her up. She remembered being carried off, Meghan yelling how she was going to be okay, and letting her know that they won, and it was because Tobin was such a beast. She remembered being put in the ambulance and seeing her mom sitting next to her in the foreign vehicle, before everything went black. 

She woke up in the hospital, her foot wrapped up, and doctors hovering over her. They medic had given her pain medicine and she had passed out the entire way to the hospital, and was apparently in and out during the doctors visit, though she didn’t remember that at all. Her mom was sitting on a stool next to her bed, holding tight to Tobin’s hand with one hand, while she held the phone to her ear with the other calling the rest of the family. According to everyone she asked after she was out of the hospital her mom never left her side, even though Tobin was hopped up on pain killers and didn’t remember half of her stay. 

She did remember her mom helping her with everything when they got home. Much to Tobin’s protest, she wrapped her cast in a plastic bag for the shower and even waited outside to make sure everything was okay. She help her learn how to use crutches, and brought all her meals to her on the couch so she didn’t have to move. She helped her up and down the stairs. This lasted the whole six months she had the cast on, and the two months after that when she had the giant boot on. 

Through all this, Tobin only had one thought, she was never going to play soccer again. This injury meant her dreams were done. It was a partial tear of her ligament in her ankle, and it seemed like it was never going to be the same again. Physical therapy was harder than it should have been, there was no way she would ever get back on the field if she couldn’t even push a damn rubber band down with her foot. It felt like her whole world was falling apart, and she had no idea how to deal with it, but her mom, her loving caring mom she was there. It was her mom that got her in the backyard, kicking the ball around, just a little at first, then she was scoring from close up, then further away, then she was taking corners, and running around like she had been before. Her mom watching her through the window, and cheering her one each time she tried something new and succeeded, and encouraging her to go again if she didn’t get a move straight away. 

At the beginning of the eight grade Tobin was stronger than she ever had been, pulling off moves she didn’t know how to do before the injury and she owed it all to her mom. She owed every day of being driven to practice, each game, each day at camp, each new pair of cleats and shin guards, each roll or tape and every single second of time sitting in the stands cheering her on, she owed that to her mom. They may not have seen eye to eye, they may not have agreed on almost anything really, but she did owe her college scholarship, her chance to play soccer professionally one day, her entire life to her mother. If only her mom knew how much she really did appreciate her, how much she loved her, if only she knew maybe she would love her back.

 

—

 

The game was over faster than normal, the end of the summer taking people off the field to take care of last minute college prep. Tobin didn’t mind, she would have loved to keep going, but she had a car to pick up and a dinner to eat with the girl she loved. 

In the car Meghan put on a playlist of happy sounding songs, “Little Games” by The Colourist filling the car with happy sounds, both of them starting to sing along. This was the routine they like to fall into now that they had so much to say, but didn’t actually want to say it. Tobin wasn’t ready to really talk about what was going on, and Meghan wasn’t ready to push her. They had been best friends for a long time, and normally Meghan would force Tobin to talk, but neither of them had ever dealt with something this big and there was no protocol for what to really do, so they would settle for singing along to the music and letting the summer stay happy for the little while they had left. 

They pulled up a few feet away from the drive way of Tobin’s house. They house was dark, no one was home, at least that was what her sisters told her, “3:20” by Colony House playing on the speakers making Tobin feel a little bit like a badass as she twirled her keys around her finger. She was about to steal her own car, and if she as being honest with herself, it was one of the most exciting things she had ever done.

Her parents had argued about the car according to Perry. They had yelled for over an hour about what should happen to the vehicle. The title was in her parents name, and she was on their insurance, so technically the car was there’s, but she was listed as the primary driver and she paid her portion of the insurance, and she filled it with gas, so she had some entitlement to it. Her mom didn’t want her to have it until she came home, but that was just a way of getting Tobin to come home, to apologize, to tell her she was right, and live a life she didn’t want, even if it was only for two weeks. Her dad wanted her to have it, she needed it for work, and to live her life; her dad was always calm and cool headed about these things, but at the end her mother won the argument, at least that’s what she thought. Perry talked to their dad in secret and got permission to give Tobin the keys and let her take it when her mom was at work late on Tuesday. So here she was ready to run to the car jump inside and drive off like some kind of Fast and Furious bad ass mother fucker. 

“Do you think your mom will call the cops on you?” Meghan asked. 

Tobin shrug, “No, I don’t think so. I mean, maybe, she does hate me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” she said quickly, 

“She doesn’t like me,” Tobin said without looking over to her friend, “I’m not sure the lengths she’ll go to in order to get me back under her.”

Meghan sat back in her seat, “I don’t know. You sure you want to do this.”

“It’s my car, Kling,” she said quickly, “I deserve to have it.”

And with that she jumped out the car, her bag hitting her in the back she as ran up to her car, and jumped in. She stuck the key in the ignition and started it up, there was no going back now. Quickly she put it in gear and drove out the driveway, waving to Meghan as she passed by. 

At the stop light she turned on the radio syncing her phone up and putting on some music she could sing to. She had her car, something she didn’t technically need, but wanted, and she was headed to Alex, nothing was better. 

 

—

 

Tobin walked in the house, the whole place smelling like some kind of Italian heaven. She could hear music playing in the kitchen and Alex singing along. She set her bag down at the door and headed further in to the house she was getting so use to. Alex was dancing around in the kitchen, using a spatula as a microphone as she sang the chorus to “Rose Colored Boy.” She looked so beautiful, her hair pulled up in a messy bun, her back showing through the blue tank top, her tan legs in the short jean shorts she was wearing. She wasn’t the greatest singer, in fact she was terrible, but Tobin could’ve sat there and watched her all night, and she would have had she not turned around and saw Tobin staring. 

“You’re home.” Alex said happily making her way around the kitchen island to put her arms around Tobin’s neck and pull her in for a kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, babe.” Tobin smiled, her arms wrapped around Alex’s waist. “I liked the show.”

“Did you now,” Alex asked with a huge smile, “I’m not just a star soccer player, you know.”

“Oh I know,” Tobin laughed, “You’re also a really bad singer, but a great dancer.”

Alex gave her a quick smack on the shoulder, “Tobin Heath, you are really bad at this whole romance thing.”

“Sorry babe, I promised I would never lie to you.” She chuckled.

“A white lie by omission is okay sometimes.” She leaned in and kissed Tobin’s, “And to think you were going to get something special tonight, since we are the only one’s home.”

Tobin wrapped her arms tighter around the girls waist bring her in closer, “Special huh, in that case you’re the best singer in the world.”

“Better than Beyonce?”

“Wo, let’s leave Beyonce out of this, okay.” Tobin said quickly. 

Tobin pulled her in closer for another kiss, deepening it as much as she was allowed until the fantastic smell got stronger and Alex pushed her away.

“The food will be done in like ten minuets, go take a shower and come down to eat.” Alex ordered her. 

Tobin was too lost in kissing Alex’s neck, ignoring the directions she was being given, “What if I want to stay down here with you?”

Alex could feel Tobin’s warm breath on her neck, her lips making their way to that spot behind her ear that made her knees weak, “You need to go shower, so I can make the salad…” She trailed off for a second when she felt Tobin’s hands drift from her back to her ass, “Don’t you want salad?”

“I mean, I can go with or without it really,” Tobin smiled against the soft skin of Alex’s neck, “If it means I can stay down here with you, then I’ll go without.”

The feeling of Tobin on her was overwhelming, but Alex quickly got control of herself when she felt Tobin’s hand starting to drift to the front of her shorts and try to pop the button, “No, you need to go take a shower, then we can eat, then we can do all this.”

Tobin lowered her head, resting it on her shoulder, “But I’m having so much fun.”

“You know what else is fun?” She kissed the side of Tobin’s head, “Taking a shower.”

“Only if you come with me.” Tobin looked up at her with a huge smirk.

Alex giggled a bit, “Go take a shower, and I’ll be all yours later.”

“Fine,” Tobin protested letting her head fall back dramatically, “But I am holding you to that.”

She gave Alex another kiss trying again to convince her to take things further, but was shot down again and sent upstairs. She would have been upset if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew good things were coming up later that night. 

Every night in the room was a good night now that they lived together. Somewhere between being broken down and crying randomly, Tobin had developed an appetite that Alex was happy to keep up with. They were no longer shy around each other, they had learned each other a while ago and now each move Tobin made was confident and served to send Alex’s body to another level of relaxed and happy. It was the goodnight and the good morning they shared, and it would all be part of this perfect thing if it wasn’t for the one thing sandwiched in the middle of this amazing moment, the times when Tobin would wake up in the middle of the night and cry. She would cry so much that her body would shake and Alex would have to wrap her up to keep her from completely falling apart. 

Tobin never wanted to talk about any of it, she never talked about her mom, or when she thought everything was going to be okay. She never spoke about what she wanted to do, and Alex never pushed. She got small updates through texts with Tobin’s sister, all of them keeping each other in the loop when it came to Tobin’s mental state. Alex didn’t say anything that would make them rush over and take Tobin back, she never told them about the late night crying, she only told them that Tobin was quiet and sad, but was masking it better than any of them ever thought she could. Somehow her shy loving girlfriend turned into this confident person now that she was out, now that she was trying to hide how sad she was. It may have felt good in the moment, but Alex knew it would fall apart soon, and she needed to get Tobin to talk, before they ran out of time. 

In the pursuit of make sure Tobin was okay and well taken car of, Alex had quit her job a few days ago, she hated every second of working there, and had saved up more money than she originally planned to, so there was no point in her dealing with all that crap anymore. She wanted to be home when Tobin was home, she wanted to see her as much as possible, spend all the time together that they could. They had less than two weeks together, and it wasn’t nearly enough time to do everything Alex wanted to do. So she stayed home getting everything ready for when Tobin would come home from work. She would cook dinner, do laundry and clean the house and though she could never see herself doing this for the rest of her life, it was nice to take of things like this for a little while. Taking care of Tobin wasn’t just something little she was doing, it felt bigger, like she was doing one of the most important jobs she had ever done. When they sat around watching television, and talking until they climbed into bed, she felt accomplished. When Tobin woke up in the middle of the night, crying, clutching on to her, she knew she did the right thing, staying home, making sure everything else was put together so Tobin could fall apart. 

 

—

When Tobin came down, she had done that thing that she knew Alex loved. She stood her arms outstretched in the doorway, making her shirt pop up just enough to show off the hem of her American Eagle pink boxer briefs. Tobin had taken to walking around in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and when they were alone, she always showed off, just a little, just enough to get Alex all flustered and take her concentration off whatever she was doing, and it worked. Alex looked over at the girl, standing proudly, fully aware that Alex had to look at the sliver of tan skin showing just below the hem of her shirt; she swallowed hard and tried to think of something other than the fact that her girlfriend was incredibly sexy.

“Dinner smells great, babe,” Tobin said in her low voice, the one she knew drove Alex crazy.

“Yeah,” Alex said her mind far off her original task. She starred at Tobin for a little bit longer before forcing her mind from the dirty place it had gone, “Go set the table.”

“You sure you want me to set the table?” Tobin asked walking a little into the room, and tying her still wet hair up in a bun, letting her shirt ride up even more. 

Alex stared at the now visible abs that she was dying to get her hands on, her mind drifting again before she got ahold of herself, “Yes, go set the table.” She took a deep breath, “And stop doing sexy stuff, we are eating first Tobin Heath, this food will not get cold before we have a chance to eat it.”

Tobin started to chuckle, “Fine, fine, I’ll set the table.”

 

Alex made her sit down as she got the food ready. They sat together, eating and talking about their days, and Alex couldn’t stop smiling at the girl sitting across from her. She had never been this happy before, never felt so right, sitting across from the girl she loved, knowing she was taking care of her, nothing had ever made her feel so amazing before. This was the point in time when Tobin was doing great, talking about customers at work, telling her about the game and how everyone was playing. This was the few hours when they avoided the real conversation they needed to have, talking about Tobin’s family, about them going off to college and being separated, and who was going to take care of her when Alex was across the country. This was the time when Alex didn’t force it, because the smile on Tobin’s face was worth skipping the bad parts, for now.

“That was so good,” Tobin said leaning back in her chair, “I need you to follow me to college and live in my dorm, and cook for me everyday.”  
“That’s all you want me to do in your dorm?” Alex smiled. 

“Pretty much,” Tobin leaned her head back in her chair and closed her eyes, “Why, are there other things you want to do?”

Alex stood up with her plate, “You are really pushing your luck tonight, babe.”

She started to crack up, pick up her plate and walking into the kitchen, following Alex, “Okay, maybe I would need you to do other things.” She set he plate down and wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist, “Thank you for taking care of me, really, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Alex flipped around in her arms, wrapping her own around Tobin’s neck, “I just want you to be okay. I kind of love you.”

“I appreciate it more than you know,” she leaned in capturing her lips, “And I kind of love you too.”

They let go of each other and started to clear the table. It was time for Alex to actually talk to her girlfriend, get her to say some of the things she had been avoiding during dinner. 

“So you got your car back?” She asked. 

Tobin nodded, her back turned to Alex as she started to load the dish washer, “Katie and Perry got me the keys this afternoon and I picked it up after the game.”

“How are they,” she asked ensign into the conversation they needed to have.

“They’re good,” she shrugged, “They are going to pack my stuff up for me, take it to Kling’s house.”

“That’s awesome,” she took a deep breath, “So you’re not going home before school starts?”

That was one of the questions Tobin was trying to avoid, “No, I’m not.”

“I guess your mom is still not okay?”

That was the other question she was actively avoiding, “No, she’s not.”

Alex walked over to her girlfriend who hadn’t turned from the dish washer since the conversation started. She put her hand on her shoulder squeezing enough to make Tobin stop loading the machine and turn to look at her. 

“I know it’s not what you were looking for, but you have a home here Tobin.” She said her eyes getting big as she tried to make Tobin understand how much she meant her words. 

“I know.” She lowered her head, “I know that I can stay here, that I have you and your family, I just…”

“Want your family,” Alex finished her thought. “I know baby, and I am so sorry. It will get better.”

“What if it doesn’t?” She shrugged, leaning against the counter, “What if she never wants to see me again.”

“That won’t happen,” she assured her, “You’re moms angry, and she might be for a long time, but she loves you, and one day she will want to talk to you, she won’t lose you over something like this.”

“I hope so,” she said in a low voice. 

Alex put her finger under Tobin’s chin and picked her head up, “I know so.” She pulled her in for a long kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She said burying her face in Alex’s shoulder and holding her close. 

“You know what we should do?” Tobin asked, trying to steer the conversation from such a sad topic to something fun.

Alex caught the tone in her voice, she knew Tobin needed to laugh, “I hope you are thinking that we should finishing cleaning the kitchen, and by we I mean you, and I should go take a shower.”

Tobin smiled at her girlfriend, “That’s exactly what I was thinking. You’re a mind reader babe.”

“I know,” Alex smirked, “Finish up here and we can get in bed, maybe do what you were really thinking about.”

“Sounds like my kind of plan.” Tobin said giving Alex another quick kiss, before starting to move quickly around the kitchen, getting everything cleaned up.

 

—

 

Tobin had finished her task before Alex was done in the shower. She climbed in bed and turned on the television letting whatever was cued up in their now shared Netflix cue to play, not really caring what was going on past the screen of her phone. She was going through her new Instagram that she broke down and made, after realizing that most of her new friends were on there. She had been tagged in a tone of photos after her profile went up, random shots they all took on the field, but her favorites were the ones of her and Alex. Over the week they had taken more photos then she had ever taken in her whole life, and she loved all of them. She wanted as many pictures of Alex as she could get, there was no way she could ever forget that face, but she wanted to make sure she had everything to make sure of it. 

Alex walked in the room, her hair wrapped up on a towel, a tank top on, no bra, no shorts, just a pair of boy shorts that hugged her in all the right places. Tobin watched her walked in, give a quick smile, and more over to the dresser area where she had everything she needed to get ready for bed. Tobin watched her take the towel from her head, running a few products through it. She watched her put lotion on her face, chapstick on her lips, and start to tie her hair up. Tobin had learned Alex’s routine over the week, learned the pattern that she always had when getting ready, almost to the point where she could call out the moves, and she loved it. She loved knowing so much about Alex, knowing her like this, not just the little things, but the stuff that really made Alex who she was. 

“Are you watching me?” Alex asked, turning to watch Tobin quickly snap her head back to her phone. 

Tobin shrugged, “No, why would I do that?”

“I don’t know,” Alex laughed a little, climbing into to bed, wrapping her arms around Tobin and kissing her cheek.”

“I can stair at you,” Tobin said with a big smile, “You know if you want me to.”

She hummed, placing her finger on her lips, “Maybe I want you to do something different.”

“Say the word, babe.” Tobin said sitting up a bit, “Anything you want.”

She leaned down, kissing her, slipping her tongue past her lips. “I know you had some thought earlier, how about we do whatever was on your mind.”

Tobin put her arms around Alex’s waist and flipping them over to she was on top of her, “I already cleaned the kitchen, but I guess we can do the other idea I had.”

Alex leaned back into the pillows, letting Tobin take over everything. She could feel her body heating up as her girlfriend kissed her neck and let her hands start to roam her body. There was something about having Tobin on top of her, almost consuming with her lean body, it made Alex forget about the bad, about the pain her girlfriend was in and surrender to the moment. With Tobin kissing down her body, slowly making her way between her legs, Alex let herself get lost for another night. She knew Tobin needed this, and Alex needed it too, in a few hours Tobin would wake up and reality would hit her.

—

 

It was Thursday, closer to the day when Tobin was going to have to let go of Alex, when she was going off to college, leaving everything she knew behind. It was Thursday and she still hadn’t spoken to her mother, not a call, or a text of even a note left. It was Thursday and nothing had been resolved.

Tobin sat on the field, they game was only an hour long just like the Tuesday before, everyone having places to go and people to see, no one had time to play for hours like the early summer days. Almost the entire group had taken off and head home, leaving Tobin on the field kicking around for just a bit longer. The only person left was Christen who had been watching her kick around but opted not to join. 

“You look good out there,” Christen said as Tobin started unlacing her cleats. 

She looked up at her and smiled, “Thanks, you were really good out there too you know. I can’t wait to play for real.”

“Yeah, I’m getting kind of anxious actually,” she said with a little laugh, “I want to play to stakes, you know, a championship or something. I feel like we have played an entire season this summer.”

“I can see that,” Tobin laughed, “Maybe the next game should be the championship game, or something, I mean it is our last game.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Christen looked out onto the field, “I guess the barbecue is Thursday so that rules out another game before everyone takes off for school.”

Tobin nodded, the gravity of it all hitting her, “Alex leaves Friday morning.”

“JJ too,” Christen answered. 

“How’s that going?” She asked. 

Christen looked over to her, a blush creeping up, “It’s going good. We aren’t like official yet, but we’re getting there, I think.”

“That’s great,” Tobin smiled, “I’m happy for you, the both of you.”

There was a silence between them, all the history they had setting in the space between them in the moment. They had been through so much over the summer, more with each other than its anyone else. Here they were, alone on the field, like the first time Tobin realized how much she liked Christen, the time when Christen had fallen for Tobin, and yet they both had someone else in their lives that they wanted, that they loved and were falling for. They were both happier than they could have ever been a few months ago, yet it felt strange to be sitting here together. 

“I’m sorry.” Tobin said without thinking.

Christen gave her a look, “For what?”

“The summer was pretty crazy,” Tobin said simply, her shoulders going up in the classic Tobin shrug, “I know I caused a lot of trouble for you.”

“Tobin, you never caused me trouble,”

“I liked you Chris, I really did,” Tobin interrupted her. “You were the one I wanted.”

“Until Alex…”

“I love her,” she said with a little smile, then continued to speak, “I don’t think I could help it if I wanted to.”

Chris nodded, it was time to finally let Tobin off the hook, “I know you love her, and I was never upset about that. I was always upset at the fact that you didn’t love me. And I now that that sounds crazy, or like I was upset with you, but that’s not it at all. Tobin, I wanted you, I wanted everything you were, and I was upset that I couldn’t have you, but I was never upset with you or Alex, I was always upset with myself. I was angry because I felt like I wasn’t enough, that Alex had something that I didn’t, but I realize, that wasn’t it. You just love her. It wasn’t about what she had or what I didn’t have, it was all about it being her and you loving her. I’m not upset anymore, if we were meant to be, we would have been, but that wasn’t the how it worked out and it’s no ones fault.” She took a deep breath and reached placing her hand on top of Tobin’s, “I guess what I am saying it, don’t feel bad, don’t do the Tobin thing and let this bother you for the rest of our friendship. I am okay, and we are okay, and I want to be friends, real friends.”

“I want that too,” Tobin answered with a big smile, “Thanks Chris.”

“For what?”

She flashed her a big smile, “For being awesome.”

“Oh, I can’t really help that, I was kind of born awesome.” She matched Tobin’s huge smile. 

 

—

 

It was Thursday and Alex had spent all day cleaning up the house after her family trampled through it before taking off for work. She went to the store and bought food to feed the family, Tobin when she got home for the game, and the rest of the family whenever they all found their way home in all hours of the night. Roasted Chicken with vegetables potatoes, something she watched being cooked on a youtube video about ten times before she decided she could pull that off. She made a list, and checked it twice like fucking Santa Clause, and yet she still forgot fresh garlic. 

**Alex:** Babe, can you go to the store and get garlic?  
 **Tobin:** Sure, uhhh where in the store.  
 **Alex:** With the produce, I need fresh garlic.  
 **Tobin:** Right?   
**Alex:** Google it please.  
 **Tobin:** You got it babe.

She started the rest of the meal, cutting potatoes and carrots and seasoning the chicken. All she needed now was for her girlfriend to come home with the garlic and her meal could start cooking, and hopefully after Tobin’s long shower, and maybe a little fooling around it would be done cooking and they could eat. She moved around the kitchen setting everything up perfectly when a knock came at the door. 

“Tobin, since when do you knock?” She yelled out as she headed for the door, “I hope you got the right stuff, babe, because I don’t want to use the minced stuff…”

She opened the door to see Tobin’s mom standing on her porch. Alex’s heart dropped.

“Mrs. Heath, uh…” she swallowed hard, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see my daughter,” She said with a serious face, “Is she here?”

“No,” Alex answered quickly, “I mean, technically no, she is picking up garlic, for dinner, but yes she is staying here.”

“Dinner,” she said with a raised eyebrow, “When are you expecting her back?”

“Any minute now,” Alex smiled, “Depending on how long it takes for her to figure out what fresh garlic looks like.” She chuckled nervously, “Um, do you want to wait for her?”

The older woman looked around as if she was trying to figure out if she would rather stand outside, or go into the house, as if her standing outside with make Tobin appear faster. She looked over to Alex and gave a forced smile, “Yes, I would like to wait for her.”

Alex could tell the smile was fake, it was the same kind of smile Tobin gave to rude customers when she was trying not to explode on them, the one that was half assed and full of anger. She invited the woman in and offered her a drink that was declined. She offered her a seat which she took, and neither of them spoke for what felt like forever. Alex took out her phone under the table and texted Tobin that her mom was here, but she never got a text back. Just when Alex was about to say something to front door opened. 

“So, garlic is harder to find then you think,” Tobin shouted through the house, “I felt like a vampire slayer stalking around for fresh cloves of garlic,” she laughed out loud, “But I found them and we shall never be attacked by evil monsters for as long as I…” she stopped in her tracks noticing the one person in the kitchen she didn’t want to see. “What… What are you doing here?”

Her mother stood up, “Tobin, I came to talk to you.”

“About what?” She asked setting the bag on the table and crossing into the kitchen towards Alex. 

Straightening her shirt a little as she stood, her mother kept her composure, “For one, the car.”

“My car?” Tobin answered sternly. “The one I pay insurance on, that one I drive.”

“The one we bought you,” her mom retorted.

Tobin shook her head, “It was a gift, you can’t take a gift back, or do you want the teddy bear you gave me when I was three?”

She took a deep breath, “No, you can keep the car, it’s yours to use.”

“You could have texted me that,” she said coldly. Moving towards the fridge she tried to keep herself together, not being able to stand still, to look over to her mother. She grabbed a drink from the refrigerator, “Is that it?”

“Of course not Tobin,” her mom said her name in that way that let Tobin know she was annoyed, “I want to talk about you coming home.”

“Why would I do that?” Tobin closed the door to the refrigerator, the blue gatorade gripped tight in her hand.

“Because this is not your home,” she said simply. 

“Yeah it is,” for some reason she started to chuckle a bit, a reflex she didn’t know she had, “I’m safe, happy, loved, all those things I didn’t feel before, so this is more of a home than your house.” She was calling it ‘your house’ like it wasn’t her house, the place she grew up.

Her composure dropped a bit, “You weren’t safe, happy and loved, in _our_ house?” 

“I was safe sure,” Tobin shrugged, leaning against the counter, “Happy, was questionable.”

“Since when are you not happy?”

“Maybe everyday,” she shouted. She saw Alex flinch out he corner of her eye, so took the lid off the drink and took a sip trying to pull herself together, “I had happy times mom, of course I did, but I was never truly happy, not with all of this, not feeling like a freak, like I was something to be ashamed of, to fear, to pray for.”

“I never made you feel like a freak Tobin,” her mom said loudly. “How can you make accusations like this, so soon after…”

“It was my entire life!” She shouted, then took a deep breath so she could talk without screaming. “It was every single second after I realized that I was different, that I wasn’t what you thought I should be. That’s when my happiness started to go away. And the love, the love started to fade, once I realized that these feelings weren’t going to go away. I started to love myself less when I realized no matter how hard I prayed I was always going to be… gay… this… me. I started to feel unsafe when I realized you would never accept me, never be happy with me, never love me.”

“I love you,” She said in a breathy tone. 

“I know,” Tobin smiled, “You have to love me, you’re my mom.” She set he drink down and stood up straight, “But you don’t love me, not really, and I know you don’t because I know you don’t accept me, and you can’t love me, truly love me without accepting me, and I know you can’t do that. You taught me at a young age that this wasn’t okay, that God didn’t want this. You taught me to hate who I was, who you saw me turning into. You knew, I know you knew.” She pointed her finger over at the older women, shaking her hand they way her mother use to shake her finger at her when she was being scolded. “I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. You knew who I was, and you still taught me it was wrong, you still taught me to hate myself. And I prayed, mom, I prayed, I did, I prayed to be normal, to have these thoughts taken from me, but nothing ever happened, and you knew it.”

“Of course I knew Tobin,” she said quickly. “I knew before you knew. I could see it in you. I know you better than you know yourself. I knew. And I prayed. I prayed before you even knew how to truly pray. I wanted so much more for you…”

“I have more mom,” She shouted shaking her head, “I have more. I am going to college, full ride might I remind you. I am with the most perfect girl I could have ever found, and she loves me, she loves me like I love her. I am happy. I am smart, and I am funny, and I am so good at the sport I love that I will be a pro, I have friends, and family that love me. I have more. I have a life to be proud of. You’re the only person who doesn’t see that.”

“I am proud of you…”

“No you are not.” Tobin laughed under her breath, “No you’re not. If you were proud you would look past your hatred of this one part of me, you would accept me for who I am, you would love me.”

She looked over to her daughter holding back tears, “I…” the words were choked in her throat, “I can’t.”

“That’s okay,” Tobin answered quickly, not letting it hit her, not now, not yet, “I don’t need it. I don’t need you.” She moved over to the doorway leading to the front door. “I love you mom, I always will, but I don’t need you, not until you can learn to accept me, to love me for who I am.”

Walking towards her daughter she wanted to say something, tell her something, but there was nothing left to be said, nothing that would make any of this better. She got to the door and turned just enough to see Tobin standing strong they way she taught her how to be, proud and strong no matter who was telling you not to be. 

“I guess your sisters will be sneaking you more stuff,” she said coldly. 

“They don’t have to,” Tobin answered her head still held high, “If you just let them do it, if you let me come home for a few hours, I can help.”

She lowered her head, her mannerisms matching her daughter so well, “I’ll be gone on Saturday, I’m going to see your grandmother in Pennsylvania.”

“Then I’ll go get everything then.” It was that simple. 

She opened her mouth to say something else, but quickly closed it knowing whatever she had to offer wasn’t going to be enough for the girl holding herself together. She left without saying another word.

 

Tobin stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting until she heard the car that was parked on the other side of the street, the one Tobin had missed on her way into the house, it turned on and pulled away. With that she sat down on the first step staring at the front door as if someone was going to walk through it, as if her mom would come through and apologize and tell her everything was going to be okay, but the door never moved, and Tobin didn’t move until Alex’s hand was on her back. 

“Tobin…” Alex said softly

She stood up, whipped the tears that had started to fall, “I’m going to take a shower. Will dinner be ready soon?”

“Yeah, in twenty minutes of so,” Alex answered knowing it would be hours, maybe days before Tobin was ready to face what just happened. “Take a shower and I’ll get it all ready.”

Tobin leaned over the railing and kissed Alex softly, “Thanks babe, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS LEFT!
> 
> I'm so excited, it's almost done. Over a year in the making and I have the last two chapters geared up in the old brain ready to burst out. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.


	33. The True Tobin (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin spends her last days in the states growing closer to Christen, spending time with her family, and figuring out her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! Sorry this took so long. I am officially home with my family, it took a while for my wife and I to get set up in our new home and I got side tracked. I am back, I will be writing pretty quickly, we have one more chapter after this and I have already started writing. 
> 
> I hope you all like this chapter, and as always ignore those typos.

Tobin stood outside the store, staring into the window, watching the people inside search the shelves for the things they needed. Throughout the summer she had been standing outside in the mornings, with her best friend, looking into an empty shop, but now it was different, she was different. This was her last day of work, and Tobin couldn’t help but think of all the ways she had changed over the last two and half months. It had only been ten weeks, and yet her life was completely different from the first morning she had stood in front of this store, since the moment her life truly began.  
   
Looking back on her summer, Tobin felt like she had lived an entire lifetime in just one summer, she had done everything that a teenager was supposed to do, just all condensed into a short period of time. She got a job, one that she loved, one she wouldn’t mind working for the last two weeks of official summer. In that job she found a mentor she never thought she would have; her boss becoming a big sister to her. In this job her relationship with her best friend had changed for the better. The two of them had gone from completely dependent on each other, to being able to actually spend time apart, and yet they grew closer than Tobin could ever dream. In this job she found friends, she was introduced to the best bunch of people she had ever met, true kindred spirits she didn’t even know she needed. In this job she was introduced to the girl she wanted to spend every second of every day with. She found the half of her she didn’t even know she was missing. She found the light, she found the sound, she found the thing that truly made her feel whole. Of course, she lost it, but it wasn’t gone forever, she would get it again, and again she would feel like her true self. This shop was more than just a few dollars in her pocket, more than just an excuse to hang out and talk soccer with her best friend, it was the vehicle that drove Tobin to be who she was, who she should have been all along, and who she would never give up on again.  
   
With a deep breath, she moved forward and walked into the shop, it smelled the same, it looked the same, it all felt the same, the same slightly chilly feeling from the air blowing, but it was different, she was different. She waved to the boy who worked the counter in the afternoons, someone Tobin only got to know a little bit in her few days she worked the afternoon shift, her mind so use to Christen standing there, it was hard for her to accept anyone else in that place. As she walked she made meaningful eye contact with customers, something she wouldn’t have been able to do when she first started. She pushed through the stalk room doors to clock in for the last time.  
   
“Tobin,” a voice called out, “Finally you’re here.”  
   
She turned to see her best friend sitting on the back room table with a huge smile on her face, next to her was Ashlyn with a happy look, and Christen looking as beautiful as ever. 

“Hey, what are you three still doing here?” She asked walking towards the group.  
   
“Waiting on you obviously,” Meghan laughed, hoping down from the table.  
   
Tobin shook her head, confused, “Why? You could have been gone an hour ago.”  
   
“Because we wanted to talk to you,” Meghan answered, “Just appreciate that your friends like you.”  
   
“Yeah, you’re right,” Tobin laughed at herself, still not fully use to the idea that people would wait around to see her. “So what’s up?”  
   
“Well, when we first started working here, we both had goals,” Meghan said happily, “I wanted to by a big screen TV for our dorm room, but seeing as we might not be sharing a room anymore, because you’re about to be a big shot pro soccer player, I thought I’d put that money to something better. Your goal was to buy something else, something better, and we all came together to help you out.” Meghan turned around and grabbed a box off the table and held it out to her friend.  
   
With wide eyes Tobin walked up to her friend and opened the box, “Holy shit, you didn’t!” she pulled out a pair of cleats, but not just any cleats, Nike Hypervenoms, in the most glorious orange color Tobin had ever seen. “These are the cleats I wanted.”  
   
“Yeah, and there in the color you wanted.” Christen said taking a few steps forward.  
   
Ashlyn followed, “We got them so you can kick ass in Scotland, in style.”  
   
Tobin looked up at the three women in her life that meant more to her then she even understood, a tear started to escape from her eyes, “Guys, I don’t even know what to say. This is so amazing.”  
   
“Don’t say anything dude, we know what you mean.” Meghan told her friend, in her typical ‘cover for Tobin’ fashion.  
   
“I just,” Tobin looked away for a second so she could take a deep breath. She looked over to her friends. “Thank you so much. I don’t think I could have ever done this without you guys. I… I owe all three of you so much.”  
   
Ashlyn reached out and put her hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “Just go over there and show them how to play soccer, that’s all you owe us.”  
   
Tobin nodded her head, running her hand across her face to try and get the few tears that managed to make it out. She looked up at all her friends and smiled, that Tobin smile that said it all, said how lucky she felt to have them, said how much she loved and appreciated them, said how much she needed them.  
   
Everyone came in for a group hug letting Tobin know that they understood exactly what she meant, and even though she had grown as a person, she still wasn’t able to really express how she felt about the people she loved. That was something she was still working on, the only person she really used words on being Christen, who hugged Tobin the closest.  
    
As the group broke apart, the two younger ones walked out the stock room leaving Ashlyn and Tobin to talk, something to two have been doing a lot ever since they found out they would be in the United Kingdom together.  
   
“So how are things going with Christen?” the older women asked.  
   
Tobin shrugged, a habit she wasn’t breaking anytime soon, “I think things are good. I mean we talk a lot more now, we text all the time, and call each other at night. It’s like we are together, but without the label, you know.”  
   
“Yeah I get it,” Ashlyn responded knowingly. “Ali and I broke up once, stupid shit that was all my fault, kind of like you two. We talked every night, texted all day, it was like we were closer after we broke up then we were when we were together.”  
   
“Exactly,” Tobin chuckled a bit, “I’m a better girlfriend as an ex.”  
   
Ashlyn laughed a little remembering she had the same realization when she was in Tobin’s spot, “It’s because you don’t appreciate things when you have them, but when there gone, you realize what you lost. But if you two are like this, that’s a great sign, it means she still wants you, wants to be with you, it’s just about figuring out how.”  
   
Tobin leaned against the shelves, “Yeah, I know she wants to figure everything out, she wants to be together, I just don’t want to hold her back you know. I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t have the full college experience.” She shook her head letting out a loud breath, “What if she meets someone wonderful, someone who treats her well, someone who is there, like physically there, and she just sits around waiting on me?”  
   
“Sounds a lot like you’ve made up your mind about the contract,” Ashlyn answered.  
   
“I haven’t,” she said quickly, feeling like it was only half true, “I just think about these things.”  
   
It was obvious Tobin was still in conflict over all the things that had gone down in the last few weeks, how she hurt Christen, shocked the world with her choices, and has been trying to make up for it ever since. She was torturing herself with the choices she needed to make, and it wasn’t fair, at least not how Ashlyn saw it. Tobin was young, she was expected to make mistakes in life, and she did, but she stepped up to the plate, with Christen, with her family, with her school, with everything, and she didn’t deserve to be in agony anymore.  
   
“Listen Mini-Me, you have to let yourself off the hook, and let whatever is going happen just happen. You can’t control what happens to Chris when she gets to school, you can’t control how you’ll feel when they put that contract down on the table in front of you. Trust that if you and Chris are meant to be, which I think you are, then you will be. It may not happen quickly, or right away, but it will happen.”  
   
Looking up at her older and wiser friend, Tobin nodded, “I know you’re right, it’s just hard.”  
   
“These things are always hard,” Ashlyn smiled, “That’s how you know they matter.”  
   
   
For days Tobin had been racking her brain trying to come up with an answer to the question everyone needed answered. Everyone she knew wanted to know what she was going to do, but the best she could give them was that she didn’t know, because that was the truth, she had no idea what she was going to do. All she knew was that she loved Christen, she loved soccer, and if she had it her way she would have both. The one thing she didn’t want to do is lose Christen, missing her chance seemed like a small thing compared to losing the girl she loved. Which one was worth taking a chance on, Christen always being there no matter what, or soccer being there when she was ready?  
   
\--  
   
   
The day went by pretty quickly. Ashlyn stayed with her for another hour talking to her about pro soccer in The UK and how life was going to be, Tobin always full of questions. Eventually the older women left, and Tobin was alone in the back able to be in her head as much as possible until the last hour of the day when her phone buzzed in her back pocket.  
   
 **Christen:** So, Ally is coming tomorrow.  
 **Tobin:** Yeah I remember.  
 **Christen:** She wants to meet you.  
 **Tobin:** Really? I thought she’d hate me.  
 **Christen:** She did at first, but she’s over it now… for the most part.  
 **Tobin:** Good?  
 **Christen:** Just come to dinner tomorrow please.  
 **Tobin:** Okay, where and what time.  
 **Christen:** My house, at 7. My parents will be there too.  
 **Tobin:** Really?  
 **Christen:** Is that a problem?  
 **Tobin:** Of course not.  
 **Tobin:** I’ll be there at 645.  
 **Christen:** Thank you. I’ll call you later tonight.  
 **Tobin:** Sounds good.  
   
So that was it, she was about to meet the most important people in Christen’s life, as if she wasn’t nervous enough.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Christen was sitting outside on the deck in her backyard. Alex, Morgan and Hope were sitting around the round wooden table, all of them occupied by their phones, texting their respective significant others. This had been the norm since the day she broke up with Tobin. The three girls had been over her house almost every day making sure she was okay, and when she was finally in a good place, they just kept coming over. As the sun was setting, the group would sit outside, listen to the crickets start to chirp, and feel the air get a little cooler, all while talking through life, what their futures looked like, and what they were going to do once they all had to go their separate ways.  
   
Christen was happy to have the group, in reality she never had something like this. Her entire life she had Ally and then Kelley was added, then subtracted, but she never had a girl group that she could just talk to, vent to, ask advice, everything she needed. They were there to take her mind off things, to help her through the rough spots and tough choices, and Christen had never felt so supported and protected in her entire life. It was going to be hard without them.  
   
“Sam is going to be late, again.” Alex said with a huff, “Apparently her and JJ are stuck in traffic coming back from Princeton.”  
   
“How is that not weird for you?” Hope asked, “Your ex and your girlfriend being so close.”  
   
“Never really thought about it,” Alex laughed, “It started off with Sam wanting to make sure JJ would take care of me since Sam will be like six hours away and JJ will be like forty-five minutes, then it just kind of grew into this thing.”  
   
“You’re not afraid JJ is going to spill all your secrets?” Hope joked.  
   
Alex chuckled, “There are no secrets, not from Sam.” She said simply, “I don’t know, I just really opened up to her, like day one I was pretty much spilling my guts, and if she can deal with all that crazy she can handle anything.”  
   
Hope shrugged, “I don’t know, I can’t imagine any of my exs being friends with my boyfriend.”  
   
“I’d be fine with it,” Morgan chimed in, “I don’t think Kling could handle it though.”  
   
Christen started to laugh, “Yeah, she would freak out. I know Tobin would have no idea what to do if Kelley suddenly wanted to be her friend, pretty sure she die from nervousness.”  
   
There was a pause in the talk before Alex opened it to the conversation they all wanted to have, the topic they had been avoiding for a few days, allowing Christen to get her head together.  
   
“So what’s going on with you and Toby?” Alex asked as lightly as she could.  
   
Christen looked down at her phone, at the positive answer she got from Tobin about the dinner, “I’m not sure. She’s coming to dinner tomorrow to meet my parents and Ally.”  
   
“Seriously, she agreed to that?” Morgan asked, shocked.  
   
“Yeah, she’s been pretty amazing lately.” Christen stated simply.  
   
“And your parents are cool with you two not being together?” Hope leaned forward looking for an answer.  
   
“Yeah, I guess,” Christen shrugged. “I mean, they know we broke up, and that we are still figuring things out, so I guess they are cool.”  
   
“Everyone is just working off the premise that you two will figure it out.” Alex said simply, “I mean, that’s how I’m living. I don’t think there is a world where Christen Press and Tobin Heath are not together, so I refuse to imagine it.”  
   
“Thanks Lex,” Christen smiled, “I hope you’re right.”  
   
Alex winked, “I’m always right Pressy, you’ll see.”  
   
If only Alex’s confidence carried out into the world and made everything true. If only there was no possible way for Tobin to not want to be together. If only it was that easy. The last few days Tobin had been better than she was even before she went through her change. She had been there whenever Christen needed her, meeting her at night just to sit and talk, even if she didn’t hold her close the way Christen truly wanted. Tobin texted her all the time, called her at night, never missed a time for them to spend together. This was the Tobin that Christen wanted more than anything, the one who was never late, the one who didn’t pick up her phone when they were together, the one that was there 100% without fail, without distraction.  This was the real Tobin, and all Christen wanted was to throw her arms around her, pull her in close, kiss her and never stop, but they had yet to talk about the real issue, always sticking to subjects that wouldn’t bring up the hurt they both had in their hearts.  
   
They talked about soccer, but never about where they would both be in a few days. They talked about life, but not how theirs fit together. They talked about the past, but never the future. Hours would pass and they would never stop talking, but they would never approach Tobin leaving and maybe never coming back, they never touched the subject of their relationship and what was going to happen. The night on the soccer field, when Tobin had made everything better, they promised they wouldn’t make a choice until after they knew everything, and they kept that promise even if it was agonizing.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
Tobin spent the rest of her night talking with her parents, her mom still trying to convince her to stay in the US. Then she crawled into bed, after taking off her work shirt for the last time, she scrolled through her new Instagram account for a few minutes before texting Christen to see if she was ready for their nightly talk.  
   
The phone never seemed like enough, not when Tobin knew how it felt to have Christen laying on her chest as they talked. Hearing her voice wasn’t enough when she knew the feel of her breath on her bare skin. Thoughts weren’t enough when she knew how warm Christen’s body was, how her arms felt wrapped tight around her torso, how her eyes wrinkled a bit when she laughed. The phone wasn’t enough, and Tobin wanted more than anything to run over to her house, climb in bed and be as close to her as possible. But that wasn’t possible, not yet, so she had to be happy with the sound of her voice, with her laugh, with her sighs, with her yawns as the night grew later and later. They would have to do for now.

Tobin hit the call button on the phone, and it wasn’t long before Christen was on the other end. 

“How are you?” Tobin asked as she settled into bed. 

“Okay,” she answered, “A little nervous about dinner tomorrow.”

Tobin wrinkled her eyebrows, “Why nervous?”

“I just want everything to go well,” she admitted.

“Yeah me too,” she breathed out, “But don’t worry, it’s going to be great. I’m going to be great.”

Christen let out a little laugh, “So confident.”

“Modestly confident babe, that’s who I am.”

She heard Tobin call her babe, she missed that, she missed all that, but it wasn’t the time to bring it up. “So how does modestly confident work exactly?”

“Well, let me humbly explain…”

 

 

Before she knew it Christen was doing that thing she did when she was tired, only responding with one word and swearing she wasn’t sleeping even though Tobin could hear her breathing start to even out. Eventually Tobin told her to sleep, that she would see her tomorrow, and that she missed her, the words replacing what she really wanted to say, and with that she was alone again.  
   
Nights were strange without Chris, but they were even worse without her best friend to rely on. Meghan spent most of her nights at Morgan’s house and Tobin wasn’t the type to take them away from each other when they only had a week or so together, so her nights were spent on her computer doing as much research as she could before her eyes started to close.  
   
As she scrolled through Facebook reading the same post, watching a repeat of the same videos, a notification popped up on her screen. It was an email from GCFC. Tobin opened it, and in it was her flight information. There is was, a flight out of Philadelphia International Air Port to London Heathrow and a connecting flight to Edinburgh, where a teammate would pick her up and drive her the hour to Glasgow. The email said she would have a day to rest and catch up on sleep, then she would meet the manager and the rest of the team, and then she would be on the pitch. She could feel her heart racing, this was it, this could be the start to the rest of her life.  
   
The idea of staying, was heavy in her mind. If Tobin went pro at 18 she could be on the National U21 team. She could be picked up pretty easily, and she would have a chance to show them who she was. Then who knows, they could call her up to the big leagues and she would be playing nationally within a few years. She could be picked up by the NWSL within a season in the UK. GCFC was a small team, but they were great and they were winners, and if Tobin contributed to that then the NWSL could want her. Maybe NC Courage would want her and she would be in the same state as Christen, only a thirty minute drive, which meant they could be together, maybe even live together if Christen wanted to live off campus. This plane ticket could be the start to her career and the start of them being together forever.  
   
Then there was the other option. There was turning it down and going to UNC. She would be with Christen, living in the same building, maybe even just across the hall. She would of course spend all her time with Christen, switching off on whose room they slept in every night. She would play for the school she had been wanting to be on since the first time she thought about college soccer. She would have her best friend right next to her, every step of the way. And she could be picked up for the U21 team in college, she could be called up to play nationally, she could even go the world cup in 2023. She could be drafted straight from college and pick any team she wanted, whatever team would take her and Christen together, which would be all teams since they were both going to rock in college. She could do all this with Christen by her side where she belonged.  
   
All roads could led to the national team, to the NWSL, to playing soccer for money, she just needed to know which one was best, which one was going to make her the happiest, to keep her and Christen together without sacrificing her skill and love for the game. That’s what kept her awake at night. That’s what made everything difficult. That’s what scared her the most.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
After a full night of half rest Tobin spent the day with her sisters, packing up her room, and a bag for the trip. Her sisters where good enough not to ask her what her choice was going to be, they both knew she had no idea. Tobin told them she got the tickets for the flight, she and Perry would be leaving the day after tomorrow, which threw them into a panic and Tobin had to calm them down. Later she kicked the ball around the back yard with Striker which felt like the last time she would do that for a while, which made her want to cry, but she held it together. Then she got showered and changed to head out to Christen’s house.  
 

 

It was 643 and Tobin was sitting in her car, on the curb outside of Christen’s house. She promised she would be there at 645, which only gave her two minutes to breathe and not have a panic attack. She was about to meet the most important people in Christen’s life, the people that meant the most the girl who meant the most to her, and yet she was still just Tobin. She was in her solid light grey henley shirt, and a pair of dark blue jeans. Her sisters took her snapback from her and forced her to keep her hair down the way everyone seemed to like it. The air conditioning was blowing straight on her, keeping her body from overheating with stress, and she was gripping tight to the steering wheel even though she had shut the car down a few minutes before.  
   
“You can do this,” she said out loud, needing to hear the words instead of just thinking them. “You got this, come on dude.” She griped the worn leather more, “Just go be you, this you, the one that Chris loves, you can do this.”  
   
“Are you talking to yourself?” a voice came from outside the car.  
   
Tobin turned quickly to see a pair of blue eyes looking into her car. She jumped a bit at the sight, not sure what they hell was going on. She watched as the girl, with long bleach blonde hair motioned for her to roll down the window. Tobin, still in shock complied with the request and pushed the button to lower the window.  
   
“Are you trying to pump yourself up?” The girl asked with a big smile.  
   
Still a little confused, Tobin nodded her head, not able to form words in this strange moment.  
   
“That’s cool,” the girl said simply, “Can I come in the car.”  
   
Tobin’s eyebrows knitted together, what the heck was going on? For some odd reason she nodded her head, and watched the girl open the car door and sit in the passenger’s seat as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  
   
She pulled down the visor and checked herself in the mirror for a few seconds, before turning to see Tobin staring at her. “I’m Ally.”  
   
Tobin nodded, after all if this wasn’t Ally, she would have no idea what to do.  
   
“I thought it would be better for you and me to meet alone, you know without the parentals looking on. That’s enough pressure.” Ally laughed lightly, “Chrissy says you’re a pretty nervous girl, so I didn’t want to make you more nervous.”  
   
“So you thought you’d get in my car?” Tobin chuckled a bit.  
   
Ally shrugged, “Yeah, I don’t know. I saw you out here talking to yourself and I thought I’d try and help, you know give you some pointers on the Presses and all that.”  
   
Tobin was taken back by the statement, “You want to help me?”  
   
“Of course,” she answered as if it was the only one to that statement, “Chrissy loves you, and her parents liking you is a big deal for her, and if we are totally honest with each other, you’re not exactly off to a good start with them.”  
   
There was no sugar coating that, Tobin was most likely not the person Christen’s parents wanted her to be involved with, but they were giving her a chance. “So what should I do?”  
   
“First of all, stand up straight, look them in the eyes and don’t bull shit. They are both lawyers so they can smell bullshit from a mile away.” She told the nervous girl, “Make sure they know that you want to do right by Chris, that you want what’s best for her, which I know you do, or you wouldn’t be here now. Be yourself, but like you know, a more upstanding version of yourself.”  
   
“What makes you think I’m not upstanding?” Tobin scoffed.  
   
“Tobs, dude, I’m Chrissy’s best friend, I’ve heard it all.” She chuckled a bit, “You sound amazing, but you’ve also fallen off a bit, so you know get back to that version of you that won Chris over to begin with.”  
   
“True,” Tobin said in a low voice, “Do you think they will like me?”  
   
“Her dad will, he likes everyone, as long as they are honest, her mom is the tricky one.” She shook her head, “She caught Chris and I drinking once, didn’t forgive me for like three months, and I had fourteen years of a relationship with that woman. Just be cool, or as cool as you can be, just don’t be a Harry.”  
   
“What the hell is a Harry?” Tobin laughed.  
   
Before she could answer Ally saw the light from the inside of the house where Christen had opened the door trying to find the both of them. “Just be you Tobin, you got this.”  
   
Tobin nodded, not wanting to question the girls confidence in her. She had no idea why Ally was so sure about her, they had just met, and yet it felt like they knew each other already, and maybe that’s why she was so confident, and why Tobin all of a sudden felt a little relaxed. They got out of the car, and walked together up to the porch where Christen was waiting for them with a smile. Maybe Ally being awesome, and Christen smiling was enough to get her through this.  
   
“Hey,” Christen said lightly reaching out for Tobin’s hand.  
   
Tobin grabbed the hand she had been longing to hold for days, “Hey.”  
   
“I’ll give you guys a second, get the parents all warmed up.” Ally stated, giving Christen a quick kiss on the cheek and Tobin an encouraging look.  
   
Christen waited for her best friend to walk into the house before she spoke, “What was that about?”  
   
“She said she wanted to meet me before your parents, take the pressure off,” Tobin said simply. “I can tell why she’s your best friend.”  
   
“She’s pretty great,” she smiled, “And so are you, so don’t be nervous.”  
   
She held tighter to the hand in hers, “I’ll try.”  
   
“You got this.” She leaned forward and kissed her cheek, wishing she could kiss her for real, take all the nerves away so Tobin could really be herself, but this was as far as she could take it for now. She pulled gently on her, leading her inside.  
   
Christen’s house was just like Tobin thought it would be, simple, neat and clean. There wasn’t many useless things around, on the tables or anything. Pictures were placed tastefully around and Tobin wanted to look around, see the pictures that weren’t online, the ones her family held dear. She wanted to study the house as much as possible try to find some insight into the life of the girl she loved, get some idea on who she was, who the people she was about to meet were, but she didn’t get much of a chance, she was pulled into the dining room where Ally was putting plates down on the table, while Christen’s mom was setting down glasses.  
   
“Mom,” Christen said, her voice a little higher than usual, “This is Tobin.”  
   
Immediately Tobin could tell where Christen got most of her features, the women in front of her sporting the same comforting smile and kind eyes. She walked over to Tobin and held out her hand, Tobin took it griping tight but not too tight, trying to show confidence but not cockiness.  
   
“It’s nice to meet you Tobin,” she said sweetly, her voice sounding like a more mature version of Christens.  
   
Tobin swallowed hard, “It’s nice to meet you too.”  
   
“I’m happy you could make it this time,” she said with a look that Tobin knew well from Christen giving it to her several times before.  
   
She lowered her head, but remembered what Ally told her in the car, no bullshit, be confident. “Yes, I uh… I messed up last time you invited me, I was being stupid. I’m really sorry about that.”  
   
With that the look at the older woman face softened, this was also a look Tobin knew well, acceptance. “It’s okay, you are here now.”  
   
“And you can help me bring the food to the table,” A deep voice called out.  
   
“Dad, don’t make her work,” Christen called out the man standing in the entry way that lead to the kitchen.  
   
Tobin looked over at him, he was tall, and as intimidating as she imagined him to be, but she needed to be good at this, she needed him to like her, so she put her shoulders back and stood tall. “I don’t mind.” She walked over to the entry way her hand out and ready, “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Press.”  
   
He looked her up and down one good time before shaking her hand, “It’s nice to meet you too Tobin.” He smiled kindly, “Now come on and help me carry the food in.”  
   
“Yes sir,” Tobin agreed.  
   
If there was one thing Tobin was used to it was silent fathers. Christen had told her once before that her father didn’t speak much, like he ran out of words when he got home from work, and Tobin knew how that was. She knew when it came to silent fathers actions spoke louder than words ever could, so she silently helped him transfer to food from the kitchen to the dining room as everyone else set the table. As the last of the food was set down the two of them shared a look, the same look that Tobin’s father gave her after completing a task, a look that said ‘good job’ which Tobin gave a look back, one that said ‘thank you for not making me talk’ and that seemed to suffice for now.  
   
   
Dinner was uneventful for the first half, Ally taking up most to of the talking time telling the family about California and what was going on in the old neighborhood, Tobin was happy to have the attention off her. Eventually they had to talk about her, that was the purpose of the dinner, and the first question asked was of course one she couldn’t answer.  
   
“So Tobin, do you know what you are going to do when you get to Scotland?” Christen’s mother asked.  
   
Tobin swallowed her food hard, “Um, no, not yet.” She took a drink of water trying to push the lump of food down her throat, “I have to see if they even want me, I mean this is only a tryout.”  
   
“From what Chris says, you’re almost guaranteed a contract with them,” She answered back,  
   
“Nothing’s guaranteed,” Tobin said lightly trying to play down the idea of her staying in Scotland, “I am just trying to take everything one step at a time. I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”  
   
“I have to ask, what happens if you stay over there? What happens to you and Christen?”  
   
“Mom,” Christen snapped.  
   
Her mom gave her a look, “Shouldn’t we all know, shouldn’t you know?”  
   
Tobin stepped in before Christen could, “I honestly don’t know what I am going to do, and what happens. Trust me I wish I did.” She took a deep breath and looked to her left where Christen was sitting with a worried look on her face. It was time to step up to the plate, show everyone at the table who she really was, “All I know is I love Chris, and I want her to be happy, most of all I want her to be happy with me, but I know that might be hard. Long distance is hard on a relationship, especially being an ocean away, a different time zone, plus everything we will both have going on with college and soccer. I don’t know how any of this is going to work out, I just know that I want to be with your daughter, I want to play soccer, and I want everything to be perfect, but I am aware that it may not happen that way. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure Chris is happy.” She paused for a second, her eyes on Christen, she was trying to let the girl she loved know that she meant every word. “I know it’s not what anyone wants to hear. I know it’s not a ‘yes I’m staying’ or a ‘no I’m coming home’ but it’s what I got right now.”  
   
Christen could almost hear her heat signing. If she could she would wrap Tobin up and never let go, she would kiss her and tell her how much she loved her and how much she would do absolutely anything to make sure they were together and they were happy. But in this moment, she reached under the table and grabbed Tobin’s hand holding it tight, letting her know that she was there for her, she was there for them.

With a short pause, a worried look, and a soft smile Christen’s mom finally spoke up, “It’s okay not to have everything figured out Tobin, you’re eighteen, life is supposed to be wide open, and you are supposed to look at the world with wonder and mystery. If I can suggest one thing to you… to the both of you,” she looked at her daughter waiting for the small nod that meant Christen wanted to hear what she had to say, “Don’t let your expectations dictate your future. Leave the world wide open, chase your dreams, and if you two are meant to be then you will be.”

The words hit the both of them like a gust of wind on a hot day, something they desperately needed, but didn’t know until it happened. Christen squeezed Tobin’s hand making the shocked girl look over at lock eyes with her. There were things that needed to be said between them, things that they both needed to get off their chest, let the other know so they could go on without going crazy, but this wasn’t the time, not yet. Christen settled for a tight hand squeeze and a comforting smile returned by a loving look from the girl she adored, that would be enough for now. 

“Well,” Ally said letting out a huge breath of air, cutting the silence in the room, “Who want’s dessert?”

“Sounds good to me,” the man in the room said with a slight chuckle, “I’ll go get he cake.”

The rest of the night Christen’s parents filled Tobin in on the time they spent in England. The conversation stayed light, and Tobin was finally able to speak like she didn’t have a lump in her throat. The Presses seemed to like her, and she really liked them, noticing all the ways Christen was like the both of them, and the way she was truly herself. As they talked, she couldn’t help but wonder if Christen would feel the same way about her family, if she would see Tobin in her mother and father, if she would get along with them this well. Christen was pretty much the nicest person Tobin had ever met and that meant she would probably get along well with her whole family. One day, when the time was right she would take Christen home, and hopefully have a pleasant dinner like this, and get the approval of the most important people in her life for the girl she loved. 

 

It was getting late, by the time dinner, dessert, and tea was done, the sun was long gone and everyone was so lost in conversation no one noticed. Tobin didn’t have anything to do, so she didn’t mind, but everyone else had some kind of work in the morning so she said goodnight to Christen’s parents, promised to talk to Ally later now that they were officially friends, and followed Christen out to the front porch so they could say goodnight in private. 

“That went well… Right?” Tobin asked as the front door shut behind her. 

Christen turned around with a smile on her face, “That went really well, they love you.”

Relived, Tobin couldn’t help but smile, “Good, I really like your parents, they are pretty cool.”

“Yeah, they can be,” she laughed.

Together they walked to Tobin’s car, around to the drivers seat and paused both of them waiting for the other to make some sort of move. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Christen finally broke their silence.

Tobin leaned against her car, “Finishing up packing, then spending some time with my family. I got my plane ticket last night, I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

It took everything inside for her not to start crying at the confirmation the Tobin was indeed leaving and it was sooner than she would ever want. “How are you doing with it, you know leaving home and all that?”

“Nervous,” Tobin responded, knowing the girl in front of her was trying hard not to get emotional on her, “I just hope I’m as good as everyone is saying I am.”

She reached out, putting her hand on her shoulder, “You’re so much better, we just don’t like to tell you so you don’t get a big head.”

Tobin chuckled a bit, “Oh thanks for keeping me humble.”

“Someone has to,” she smiled at her, waiting for Tobin to lift her head and really look at her. When she did, the dark brown of her eyes almost knocked Christen to the ground, “Tobin you are amazing, not just with soccer, but with everything that you do. Just go there and be you, that’s all you have to do, and they will see everything that I see, and there’s no way they will ever want to let you go.” 

Resisting was pointless, Tobin leaned forward putting her arms around Christen and pulling her in for a hug. It was what the both wanted, what they needed and Christen was happy for the embrace. The stayed like that for a few seconds, feeling each other like the use to, feeling safe in each others arms for the first time in a week. 

When they finally broke apart Tobin couldn’t help but feel a little piece of her go with Christen as if was stuck to her, but honestly she didn’t mind leaving that piece because she knew that she would eventually get it back. 

“I should let you sleep,” Tobin said with a smile. 

“Yeah, you should go get some sleep too,” she smiled back, “No research late at night, go to bed so you aren’t sleepy tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am,” she chuckled.

Reaching out and taking her hand Christen held tight, “Text me when you get home.”

“I will,” she confirmed, knowing that Christen was just prolonging this moment, because they both knew she would text her the minute she shut her car off in the driveway, but Tobin was happy to have the time even if it was just a few extra seconds. 

It was hard to say goodnight, again, especially when they both wanted to stay close, but they eventually said goodnight and Christen headed towards her house. 

“Hey Tobin,” she said quickly before she reached the front steps, “You are going to Hopes party tomorrow night, right?”

The party had been lost on her, something that was scheduled over a week ago, and something she completely spaced out on until now, “Uh, yeah, I’m going.”

“Good,” Christen answered sweetly, “I’ll see you then.”

“Alright,” Tobin smiled, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 

—

 

“Mom, I’m not going to change in two weeks.” Tobin huffed as her mother took what seemed like the hundredth photo of her. “I’ll look the exact same as I do now.”

“I know that,” her mother matched her frustration, “I just want to make sure I have all the photos of you that I can.”

Tobin shook her head and smiled, “You know that there is this magical thing that lets you see my face while I talk to you on the phone. It’s crazy technology that they just came out with.”

“You have turned into a completely different teenager since you got your big shot,” she responded, rolling her eyes, “Professional soccer players are so mean to their mothers.”

“It’s a new trend,” Tobin joked back, “You’re not a fan?”

“What’s the app on the phone that people leave comments about bad experiences with famous people? The one with the pictures that people put words on?”

Perry sat up in her chair, “You mean Tumblr?”

“Yeah, can I do that for my own daughter, let everyone know Tobin Heath of Glasgow City FC is mean to her mother?”

Tobin started to crack up, this being one of the only times she heard her mom joke around this way, “Are you going to make me a meme or something?”

“I do have all these pictures of you.” She said looking at her phone. She turned to show a particularly funny pictures of her daughter trying to not have her photo taken, “I bet everyone would love this one.”

Katie looked over at the photo and started to laugh, “Oh man, Toby, maybe you should be nicer to her.”

Tobin squinted at the photo finally getting a good look, “You’re evil.” 

“I can be,” her mother responded with a devious smile. 

The Heath family had spent the entire day together doing the things they use to do when the kids were younger. They started off with breakfast at their favorite spot, watched movies at revival theater, lunch in the park, walked around the mall, played at the arcade, and now they were home where their mom cooked Tobin’s favorite meal and they sat around talking about all the memories they cherished. It was getting pretty late for them, especially since they needed to be at the airport tomorrow, lucky for them the flight wasn’t until the afternoon. 

Tobin finally stood up and started to clear the table, she loved spending time with her family, but she did have a party to get to, and she wanted time with her friends too. It didn’t take long for the dishes to be done and her mother to start yawning. Tobin headed up the stairs and changed into a white t-shirt and a pair of light blue skinny jeans, throwing her hat backwards on her head. She was putting on her shoes when she heard a knock on the door. 

“Yeah, come in,” She shouted as she tied her laces. 

Her mom walked in, her eyes a starting to hang heavy, but still with light in them. “You’re headed to the party?”

“Yeah,” she answered looking up at her mom, “That’s okay right, I mean I figured we were all done.”

“Yes, of course it’s okay, go spend some time with your friends.” She answered in her typical mom fashion, “I just wanted to give you something, before you left.”

Tobin stood up from the bed, she had no idea her mom would be here to give her a gift. She watched as her mother pulled her right hand from behind her back, she was holding a black snapback, when she flipped it the the front Tobin saw in big orange letters, one word, FAMILY.

“Mom,” she said in an airy voice, reaching out and taking the hat, running her fingers over the word, “This is amazing.”

“I thought it could remind you of home,” she sniffled a bit holding back some tears.

Tobin looked up at her mom, “I don’t need anything to remind me of home, I’ll miss you every second of the day.” She leaned forward throwing her arms around her mother and hugging her close. “I love you mom, with all my heart.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” her mother cried into the shoulder, “I am going to miss you so much.”

Tobin hugged a little tighter making sure her mother knew how much she was truly going to miss her. They may have had their differences in the past, a relationship that was strained, but in the end Tobin loved her mom fiercely and she would miss everything about her. 

“You’re the best mom I could ever ask for,” Tobin said softly as the hug broke, “I know I have always been your difficult one.”

“No, sweetheart, you are not the difficult one, that’s Perry.” Her mom laughed a bit, “You were always the one I worried about. I was always worried you would get hurt in some way, that some one would hurt you. You were the one I was trying to protect. You have such a big heart and you love unconditionally, and I was always so afraid that amazing trait in you would lead to you getting hurt, and I never wanted that.”

“I’m okay,” Tobin said simply. “Thank you, I know I didn’t make it easy, so thank you.”

Her mother wrapped her up in another hug, one more quick one so they both knew what they moment meant. 

“Well go to your party,” she said wiping a tear from her cheek, “Go have fun and be safe.”

“I will,” Tobin smiled, taking the hat from her head and proudly placing the new one on. “Thanks mom, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

—

 

Tobin pulled up to the party, feeling the music in her chest, her third party in her life and she felt like an expert. She parked the car, quickly checking herself in the visor before getting out, grabbing her bag from the back seat and heading to the door. As soon as she rang the doorbell Hope was answering the door and pulling he in for a big hug. 

“Finally, we have been waiting on you.” Hope said loudly over the music. “Get your ass in here.”

She was pulled in the house, Hope throwing her bag into the hall closet. The plan was simple tonight, hang out, have a few drinks, have a good time with friends, sleep and then get up in time to get home and catch the ride to the airport that was going to start her new life. At the end of this party she was going to have a different life, but right now she was here and ready to make the most of it. 

“Toby!” Alex yelled. She was across the room, playing beer pong. “Get over here now!”

Tobin gave her a quick nod, letting the excited girl know she was on her way to the table. She made her way through the room getting hugs from everyone as she passed them. She knew most of the people at the party, the group she played soccer with, there were a few of Hopes friends that she didn’t know, but assumed she would know them by the end of the party. The music was loud a good mix of current dance, r&b, and hip hop hits, making Tobin want to dance, but not before she could go to the table to play a quick round of beer pong with one of her new best friends. 

She headed towards the table but was stopped by a sight that took her breath away. Christen in a pair of tight dark blue jeans with rips down the side showing off just enough of her caramel colored skin for Tobin to have to stop and stare. She scanned her body, stopping at her midsection were a small sliver was showing where her red tank top didn’t meet the hem of her jeans. Christen was so perfectly sexy that Tobin wanted to go over and pick her up and take her to the closest room, and stay locked in there for the rest of the night. 

“You look,” Tobin took a breath, scanning the girls body once again. “Wow.”

Christen blushed a little under her gaze, “You look pretty good yourself.” Tobin was dressed simple, but it was the simple look that Christen loved on her the most. “Is that a new hat.”

Tobin was happy to snap out of her trance, she took the hat from her head, “Yeah, my mom got it for me.”

She read the word across it, “It’s perfect for you.”

“That’s what I thought.” Tobin smiled putting the hat back on. 

Christen wanted to say more, but Alex was calling out for Tobin, so she settle for a quick kiss on the cheek, and watching walk away in her skinny jeans. That wasn’t going to be it for the night, not if she had anything to say about it.

 

As soon as she arrived to the table Alex threw her arms around her neck and pulled her in for a kiss on the cheek, “Toby, please be my partner, help me destroy these fools.” 

She looked over to see her best friend and Sam on the other side of the table, “You’re calling your own girlfriend a fool?” Tobin laughed. 

“Hell yeah, she’s the enemy right now.” Alex said with a serious look, “As soon as she is put out of her misery, she can go back to being the best girlfriend in the world.”

“But not a moment sooner,” Tobin stated matching the obviously tipsy girls intensity.

“See you get it.” Alex looked over to Sam, “She’s the only one that really gets it.”

“We will see how you feel later tonight when you need someone to keep you warm,” Sam said with a quick wink.

Alex gave her a sinister smile, “Bring it on babe.”

Tobin laughed as she started to poor the beer into the red cups, something she did alone as Alex continued to talk trash across the table. Soon the game started, Alex and Tobin showing off their skills quickly. The game was simple, one Tobin enjoyed even though her hand-eye coordination wasn’t as good as her foot-eye coordination, but she held her own. 

Soon the game was over, she and Alex winning by two cups, and Clint and Bobby were up to the table to try and defeat them. It took three games and three teams to knock them off the table, and Tobin was on her way to being tipsy so she bowed out pretty easily unlike Alex who needed Sam to convince her to come sit down with their friends. 

“Nice pong skills.” Meghan said as she saw Tobin walk into the kitchen to get beer.

She took a can from the cooler wiping off the ice stuck to the cold metal, “Thanks, we pretty much kicked all the ass out there.”

“It’s almost like you’ve been doing this for years.” The shorter girl joked. 

“I don’t know if we should have been playing for years,” Tobin said cracking the beer and taking a sip, “But we should have been doing this a lot longer.”

Meghan took a sip from what she had poured into a red plastic cup, “Well I have college, so I’ll be doing this for a while.”

“True,” Tobin moved closer to her friend, “But I’ll be in the UK so it’ll be legal for me to do it.”

They both laughed a little, looking out to the party, to their new friends, to their new lives, taking in everything they now had. 

“Stay,” Meghan said in a low voice.

It took Tobin a second to realize what she had said and respond, “I can’t.”

“I know,” she said simply, “I just couldn’t let you leave without saying it.”

She understood and knew she would feel the same if it was Meghan about to get on a plane and she was the one staying behind. There was no way for either of them to let go of each other without some kind of resistance even if it was futile. It just meant they loved each other. 

“Take care of her,” Tobin said after a few seconds of silence. 

Without missing a beat, knowing exactly what her friend meant, Meghan nodded her head, “Always.”

That was all they needed, just a quick talk, a quick confirmation of what they both knew. They could go back to the party and being happy acting like Tobin wasn’t leaving. 

 

Tobin had been eyeballing Christen all night, keeping herself from going over to her, talking to her, because she knew if she heard that voice she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from kissing her. Sober Tobin was in control of herself, but slightly drunk Tobin didn’t have control, and she and Christen still hadn’t figured everything out yet. 

She went over to the couch where Alex was sitting in Sams lap, talking to everyone else that was around. Tobin starred over at Christen, nothing really taking her attention away from the girl until someone sat so close to her that they might as well have been in her lap. 

“What up Tobs?” The blonde said with a big smile. 

Tobin quickly recognized the happy girl, “Ally, I was wondering where you were.”

“Flirting with cute boys,” she said happily, “Where have you been?”

“Around,” Tobin said simply. 

Ally looked over to where the girl was looking, “Why don’t you just go over and talk to her.”

Tobin finally took her eyes off Christen, “Why, she’s fine.”

“She’s not fine, she wants you.” Ally said loud enough to get everyone else’s attention.  
“No she doesn’t,” Tobin giggled, the alcohol flowing through her system. 

Ally looked around as if she was waiting for someone else to call bullshit, when no one did she spoke up. “You are such a Harry, that girl wants you.”

“I’m a Harry?” Tobin laughed, “You’re a Harry.” She paused for a second, her thoughts starting to leak out, “She doesn’t know what she wants yet.”

“She’s waiting on you,” Sam turned and gave Tobin a look.

Alex leaned over putting her head on Tobin’s shoulder, “Toby, she knows what she wants, she’s waiting for you to say something, to make a move.”

“But I…” she took a deep breath, “I don’t know what I am doing.”

“Yes you do.” Ally said simply, sitting up on the couch, “We may have just become friends yesterday but I know you know what you are doing. We all know what you are doing. We all know how this is going to end.” She paused waiting for Tobin to respond but the nervous girl just gave her and unsure look. “Dude, you are going over to Scotland, kick ass, get a big time contract and play pro soccer like a fucking champ. You and Chrissy are going to be together, and be all lovey dovey and talk every day and FaceTime and drive us all insane, until you make it to the NWSL. You’re gonna make the national team, and she will make the national team, fuck we’re all going to make it and we will all be together. Then you two will get married, play for The Thorns, eventually find a kick ass soccer player man to be your baby daddy and have cute little mixed race babies and they will play on the same peewee team as my kids.”

“And mine,” Alex chimed in, kissing Sam on the cheek. 

Meghan held her cup in the air, “And mine, dude.” Morgan hugging her close.

“And mine,” Hope cheered.

Everyone looked over to Lindsey sitting on the edge of the couch. She shook her head and smiled, “Yeah, mine too.”

A huge smiled appeared on Tobin’s faec. If she was honest with herself, she had thought about it before, her future with all her friends. The thought of playing on the national team, of being best friends even when they were retired and couching teams. Their kids all being friends, all of them being one big happy family. The story sounded amazing, it sounded like a dream, it sounded like everything Tobin ever wanted, was it what Christen wanted too?

“Toby,” Ally said taking Tobin out of her thoughts, “Go get your girl.”

Tobin looked over to Christen who was smiling at whatever the guy she was talking with was saying. She was so beautiful, the lights in the room shining on her as if she was the only person in the room. 

“Tobs,” Alex, said tapping her on the shoulder. “Go get your girl.”

Was this really her future? Everyone around her seemed to think so. She wanted it to be. She wanted her future to be the wonderfully beautiful girl standing just over there. She wanted everything to be true, for it to be that easy, that simple. Could it be that easy? Was that all she needed, to just go over there, and everything was going to be okay? 

“Tobin,” Meghan called out, waiting on her best friend to look at her. She sat up enough to let the nervous girl know that everything was okay, that this was all okay. “Go get your girl.”

She stood up slow, her hands shaking a bit as she set her drink down. She felt like she was floating, like the air was thick enough for her to walk on. As she moved closer, she could her Christens light laugh, the one she did when she was trying not to laugh too hard at something she thought was really funny but wasn’t sure if anyone else thought it was as funny. Tobin loved that laugh, it was simple, and infectious and often served to make everyone else laugh with her. Tonight it served to put a smile on Tobin’s face, one that she didn’t ever want to let go of, luckily Christen noticed and returned her smile. 

“Hey,” Christen said as Tobin got close. 

“I love you,” she responded. “I know we said we would wait, but I don’t want to wait. Chris, I love you and I want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want anyone else, just you. I know I don’t know the future, but I know it’s with you. I promise I will do everything you need me to do, I’ll be the person you need. I just, I need you, Chris, I need you….”

Her rant was cut off by Christen pulling her in for a kiss, one that knocked the air out of both of them. Tobin put her arms around her girls waist and pulled her in close, kissing her back as passionately as she could. Behind her she could hear the group cheering for them. Finally, it was it, they were it, finally.

Tobin pulled away just enough to look into the pair of green eyes staring back at her. “So that’s a yes?”

A tear was rolling down her cheek, but Christen had the biggest smile on her face, “Of course it’s a yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me this long. I hope you liked the chapter. 
> 
> If you were looking for Talex, then that's the next chapter.


	34. We Are Family (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin spends the last few days with Alex and her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! Sorry this took so long. I am officially home with my family, it took a while for my wife and I to get set up in our new home and I got side tracked. I am back, I will be writing pretty quickly, we have one more chapter after this and I have already started writing.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and as always ignore the typos.

Tuesday came faster than Tobin ever thought it could, the days were flying by and she knew why, this was the end of the summer, then end of so many things. Over the last few weeks she had grown into a whole new person, someone the girl at the beginning of the summer wouldn’t even recognize, and if she could go back in time and tell that Tobin who she was going to become, old Tobin would probably laugh in her face. She would have to explain that she had friends now, really good friends, the kind you can count on, the kind that invited her to parties and hung out doing the things she had always dreamed of. She would have to explain that she was dating the girl that she had been pinning over for ten years. She would tell her about sharing a room with Alex for two weeks, about they way Alex looks at her, about how close they are, about sex, about everything that is Alex Morgan and how incredibly perfect they are together. And, sadly, she would have to explain about coming out, about being hurt, about being free, about finally being herself, but then again, maybe she didn’t have to say that part, that might scare old Tobin and she might not want to go through everything she went through. 

She spent the last few days talking to everyone she knew about what happened with her mom. All her friends told her about there coming out stories, most were nice, some were bad, and all of them made Tobin examine her own life and the things she wanted and needed, and at the end of the day she was happy that she was out and free and happy. It may have hurt, it still hurt, she was hurting, but it was okay, because she was laying in bed next to the most beautiful girl in the world, and she knew the rest of her family loved her. 

Flipping over in bed, she watched as Alex scrolled through images on her phone, she had been up for a little while, and Tobin was awake too, but she enjoyed listening to Alex trying not to laugh too loud at whatever she was looking at, and she liked to take a few minutes in the morning to gather her thoughts before she started to talk. 

“You’re up?” Alex asked with a smile.

Tobin stretched her arms in the air letting one fall across her girlfriends stomach, “I’m up.” She gave her a big smile, “What are you looking at?”  
“Tumblr,” she said turning towards her, “People are posting things about the new national team.”

Tobin looked at a post and laughed a little to herself, “You know one day people will be posting about us. One day we will be a meme.”

“You think?” She studied the meme a little closer, “Well, if they do at least we will be a cute meme.”

“You think I’m cute?” She smiled as big as she could. 

“No,” Alex said with a serious look, “I think I am cute.”

“Alex Morgan ladies and gentlemen,” Tobin said in a fake announcers voice, “So full of herself.”

“Oh you love me,” she laughed, crawling on top of her girlfriend, “You are going to miss me.”

Tobin shook her head, “No way, I wont miss you at all.”

“Oh no,” she raised and eyebrow, “Who will make you smile in the mornings?”

“Well, I’ll share a room with Kling, so I guess she will,” she said with a happy smile. 

Alex pressed her hands down on Tobin’s stomach, leaning forward letting her long dark hair fall around her face, “Yeah, but no one can make you smile like I do.”

She raised and eyebrow, staring up at her girlfriend whose eyes were impossibly blue, “Oh, is that right.”

Meeting her girlfriends raised eyebrow, Alex sat up lifting her shirt over her head to reveal her bare chest. She watched Tobin’s eye light up, a smile coming across her face, “See, only I can make you smile like that.”

Tobin reached up, putting her hands on Alex’s back and pulling her down into a kiss, distracting Alex enough to let her flip them over so she was on top. “Mornings are so cool.”

This was part of a regular routine that Tobin was extremely sad to give up. She was use to waking up to the sexiest girl she had ever seen. She was use to talking for just a bit before Alex got the idea in her head that she wanted a lot more than talk and Tobin was all too happy to give her everything she wanted and more. 

She kissed down Alex’s neck, gently sucking and biting at the soft skin careful not to leave marks in places that couldn’t be covered up. Her hands were working on the pair of boxers Alex had stolen from her last night and worn to bed, she was pushing them down as far as she could and let Alex kick them the rest of the way off. She kissed down her body, stopping only to remove her own shirt, before she settled with her head between Alex’s legs, peppering kissing down her thighs. 

Tobin had figured out a while ago that she was pretty damn good at this whole sex thing, all she needed was a little direction and some gentle encouragement that Alex always provided. In the beginning she was in her head, always trying to do more than she needed, but when she finally settled, it turned out she was pretty damn good. Sharing a bed definitely let them explore a lot more than they would have if they were forced to sneak around like most teenagers. Luckily for them they had a bed in a room that locked in a house that was empty most of the time, so they could practice, and practice made perfect. 

She was focused, moving her tongue in circles just the way she knew her girlfriend loved. Alex was moving in rhythm, her hips in sync, her breathing getting to that ragged edge that told Tobin to bring her fingers into the game matching the rhythm her mouth had established. This made Alex reach down and gather Tobin’s hair, gathering it a messy bun, which was nice because Tobin was getting kind of hot, forgetting to put her hair up before she started this, but this move wasn’t just to keep her cool and Tobin could feel it. 

Alex gave her girlfriends hair a light tug, forcing her to look up at her, those brown eyes piercing into her, “Look at me.” Alex whispered through labored breath.

Tobin gave Alex everything she wanted every time she asked, it wasn’t really a choice, she just had to, the way Alex looked, the way to she moved, the way her voice rumbled in the low scratchy tone, it hit Tobin to her core and she had to give Alex everything she asked for. She kept her eyes locked with the blue ones looking down at her. It didn’t take long, soon Alex’s head was thrown back and Tobin was helping her ride out her orgasm, until Alex laid limp on the bed, pulling Tobin up to her gently. 

Kissing up her girlfriends body, getting those small chills whenever she kissed a sensitive spot, Tobin finally made it all the way up, laying on top of Alex, and putting her face in her neck as Alex tried to control her breathing. 

“Is there still a chance you can come to Berkeley with me?” Alex breathed out. 

Tobin giggled, kissing her neck softly, “I wish.”

“Maybe if we sneak you over there and you just show up to practice they will let you play.” 

“Do you think if I just show up to class they will give me credit?” Tobin laughed. 

“Who cares, you want to be a pro soccer player, you don’t need school.” She pulled on Tobin’s arm enough to make the girl pick her head up and look at her, “I need you.”

“I know baby,” Tobin whispered, “I need you too.”

The day was getting closer than both of them liked. They tried not to talk about it, they didn’t want to think about Friday and Alex getting on a plane. The only time they ever discussed it was talking about how they would come see each other on every break, and planned on taking trips just the two of them. Talking about being apart hurt too much, so they tried not to bring it up unless they had a plan to fix it, like the two games UNC and Berkeley would play against each other and the three days for each game they would have with each other. But the day was coming up, and it was coming up fast. 

Alex could feel a tear started to form in her eyes, that’s not what she wanted, not now when her girlfriend was laying naked on top of her, crying was the last thing she wanted to do. She put her arms around Tobin pulling her in close, “How about I show you how much I need you.” 

“Yes please,” Tobin said with a huge smile. 

Just as Alex flipped them over, Tobin’s phone went off, her alarm, telling her to get ready for work. Alex reached over and shut the alarm off looking down at the disappointed look on Tobin’s face, “How fast can you shower, because if you say super fast we can continue this and you won’t be late for your last day.”

“Super duper fast,” Tobin said with a sly smile, “Pretty much the fastest in the whole world.”

 

—

 

Together, Meghan and Tobin stood outside the store, the one that changed their lives. The store was still the same brick building, still sandwiched between a dress shop and a coffee shop. It still had the same big window with the name in big black letters. The store was the same but the two girls entering it were completely different. 

Tobin drank the last of her ice coffee, shaking the cup to move the ice around, before trying to get more from the cup, “So, I guess this is it.”

“Yeah,” Meghan breathed out, “Our last day.”

“Our last day,” Tobin smiled, throwing her cup in the recycling. “You ready for this?”

The shorter girl turned to her friend, “Yeah, I’m ready.”

The last few months did more than just transform them as individuals, but as a duo. The two best friends had grown closer together, even with all the time they spent apart. They learned more about each other than they ever knew, both of them more confident in each other and in themselves. 

As they pushed through the stalk room door, standing in the middle of the room was the woman they had both come to count on more than they even realized. Ashlyn had become more than just a manager, more than a friend, she was a mentor, she was exactly what they wanted to be. Over the last few months they felt like little kids asking her questions, getting her opinion on everything, bugging her about the future and what it could look like for them. Now Ashlyn saw them as more then two kids bugging her, she saw them as friends, and maybe one day they would be her teammates. 

“Last day Mini Me’s,” the older woman said with a big smile. 

Meghan cocked her head back and smiled, “You gonna miss us?”

“No way,” Ashlyn scoffed, “How could I miss you two when I’ll be in England?”

“What, no way,” Tobin said excitedly, “You got word? You’re going back?”

Ashlyn stood tall, “Yup, I got confirmation last night. Ali told Frankfurt she’s coming back, so we are off to Europe.”

“Dude, that’s so amazing,” Meghan exclaimed, “Looks, like everyone in the shop is headed out.”

“Yeah I guess so, this place won’t have any soccer players left.” Ashlyn said realizing that everyone that had been there over the summer was now headed off to bigger things. “But it’ll be okay, we can all meet up here one day, talk about the good ol’days and all that.”

Tobin nodded, “Yeah, we can all come back after we have our first game together on the National Team.”

“I like the way you think Little Me,” Ashlyn laughed, “What do you say Tiny Me, we can get Chrissy and all come back here once we have our fist game together.”

“Hell yeah,” Meghan said excitedly, “And you can buy us lunch.”

 

They started to work, even thought they weren’t really doing anything but talking about soccer. Ashlyns last day was going to be in a week, so she was more laid back about what they had to do on their last day at work. She sat out in the room with them, and they talked all about what they all thought the future would look like. Now that they were no longer going to be working together Ashlyn was a lot more open about things, telling them about the professional soccer world, and what they could expect. 

As they talked Tobin realized that she had done the one thing that she had wanted in the entire world, she had surrounded herself with soccer players. Every person she considered a great friend had one goal in mind, the same goal Tobin had, make it to the nationals and play soccer professionally. This was all she ever wanted, to sit around and talk to other like minded people about life, about soccer, about everything under the sun. Through out the summer she had become friends with so many great people, all of them dead set on making it to the pros. Tobin had no problem sitting with any of her friends and striking up a conversations, and talk until both of them had to go but never because they ran out of things to say. If only she would have found this sooner, but she knew she would have this for the rest of her life. 

Over an hour had passed, and even though they weren’t really working, the store still needed to be set up, so Tobin headed out the stalk room to start work on the shop. She left Ashlyn and Meghan in the stalk room to continue their conversations on the back line of Arsenal and what Ashlyn thought should happen. She liked to set up alone, it gave her time to think. As much as she loved having friends, she still enjoyed a little silence to collect her thoughts.

She was hooking the net onto the practice goals, for the last time, a tedious task that she would miss. She heard a noise coming from the front of the store, it was Christen standing outside with JJ. She watched as they talked for a second, their hands out in front of them, their fingers laced together, Christen looked happy, the smile on her face making Tobin smile. 

It had been a while since the other girl smiled, especially like that, with light in her eyes, that was a smile Tobin was missing, one that made days better, one she was happy to know finally made its way back out. She watched as JJ leaned in and kissed Christen, both of them smiling, afterwards. So the relationship was fully on, this was good, this meant they could really be friends. Alex would love that Christen had someone, it meant her focus was off Tobin romantically, and that meant they could be close the way Tobin had wanted.

Christen walked into the store, lingering for a few seconds until JJ finally let go of her hand. Tobin turned back to her work, trying to act like she wasn’t watching the whole exchange. 

“Go ahead, ask your questions,” Christen said as she walked up to Tobin pretending to be busy. 

Tobin looked up at her, keeping her face neutral, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw you see us,” Christen chuckled, “I know you want to know.”

She stood up with a grin, “Are you and JJ official?”  
Christen’s eyes lit up, “Yeah, we are.” She couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face, “We put a label on it last night, it’s a real thing now.”

“That’s amazing,” she answered excitedly, “For you and me.”

“Why for you?” 

Tobin picked up the second net and started across the store, urging Christen to follow her, “You and JJ being official means Alex has no reason to not like you, which means we can be best friends, just like we planned.”

“I didn’t know we had a plan,” she laughed. 

“My girlfriend is going to be in California while I’m in North Carolina, and now you’re in the same boat,” she bent down and started work on hooking up the net, “Now we can be each other’s support system. Alex and JJ will only be like forty minutes away from each other, so they can be each others support system, which means we can go on double dates whenever we play them in the fall. It’s the perfect plan.”

Christen thought for a second, “I guess you’re right.”

“The perfect plan.” Tobin said with a big smile.

It wasn’t really a plan per say, just something she had thought about once or twice after Christen and JJ started showing interest in each other. Tobin always knew how close JJ was with Alex both in geographical location and emotionally, and she knew Alex would lean on her friend in the times when she was sad. At UNC, she would have Meghan, but Morgan would only be a few hours away, so the long weekends Meghan would most likely be gone to Virginia, so Tobin thought Christen would be a good person to lean on when she was sad and missing Alex, and now it would be great because Christen would be missing JJ and they could keep each other company. It was a plan that all hinged on JJ and Christen being together, and now everything was in place and UNC and a long distance relationship didn’t seem so horrifying. 

 

—

 

The call for cleats in three different sizes came over the intercom, and Tobin gathered the boxes and headed out. She set the boxes down on the table next to the chairs and waited for the young soccer player to try on each pair and choose the size that fit her best. She offered to take the correct size to the counter and hold them up there until the younger girl and her mom were done picking out the rest of her soccer gear. She brought the gear up and set the cleats down on the counter. 

“These are for the girl in the blue shirt,” She said with a smile.

Christen pulled them to the back of the counter, “You’re in a good mood today.”

“Yeah, I guess I am,” she chuckled a bit, “I guess I’m just excited for my last day, for the game tonight, for the party on Thursday, for everything really.”

“I like this you,” Christen said with a serious tone.

Tobin cocked her head to the side, “This me?”

“The happy you,” she answered simply, “For a while you were sad, like really sad, and I get why, but now you seem like a weight is lifted.”

“It is I guess,” she shrugged, “It’s like, for the first time I can see my future. Things are messed up with my mom, but everything else has fallen into place, you know what I mean. I guess I’m not really afraid of the future anymore because it’s pretty clear.”

“And what does the future look like for Tobin Heath?” 

She tilted her head thinking seriously, “Well, I’m going to college and I’m going to kick ass with my best friend and my new best friend by my side the whole time.” She watched Christen smile at the mention of her being her new best friend. “Then, I will get picked up b the NWSL, play for the Thorns, with Alex, kick your ass when you’re on the Red Stars. Then all of us will get called up and play for the National Team. That’s the future.”

Christen nodded, “Sounds like a pretty good future.”

“I think so.” 

Before she could say anything else Alex was walking into the store. Tobin waited for her to get to the counter before she wrapped an arm around her waist and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Hey babe, what are you doing here?”

Alex reached up and pushed a stray hair behind Tobin’s ear, “I’m here to take you to lunch. You always eat by yourself and I thought you’d like company on your last day.”

“You thought right,” she grinned. “Let me go put these back and clock out.” She grabbed the boxes off the counter and headed to the stock room. 

Alex walked away from the counter and pretended to study the shin pads hanging up. She could feel Christen staring at her, she could tell the girl wanted to say something but was being held back by nerves. Alex looked over to her and gave a half smile, this served to break Christen of her anxiousness.

“We should talk,” Christen said in an airy voice.

Alex kept her body facing away, turning just her head to the girl, “About what?”

“Tobin,” Christen breathed out, “And JJ, and the fact that we are going to have to see each other, be in each others lives.”

Alex knitted her eyebrows together, “Being in each others lives doesn’t mean we have to like each other.”

“Alex, I’m trying to make peace,” she huffed, crossing her arms, “I know why you hate me, but you don’t have to, I don’t have feelings for Tobin anymore, I’m with JJ.”

“I’ve been in love with Tobin since the moment I met her,” Alex cut her off, turning to face the girl. “Did you know that?” She paused for a second, almost like she needed to catch her breath. “We were eight, and I saw her kicking a ball around on the field, because Tobin is always kicking a ball around,” she saw Christen’s eyes light up. “I went up and stole the ball from her, because that’s who I am, and she chased me, all the way down the field until I scored. When I turned I saw the biggest brightest brown eyes I have ever seen in my life. I knew right then at eight years old that I was in love, that this girl was the girl I was going to be with for the rest of my life. Every single moment we shared, all the ones we didn’t share, everything in my life has just confirmed what I knew in that moment on that field when we were eight years old. I am meant to be with Tobin Heath, and there has been no one and nothing that could ever take her place in my life.

‘So, when you tell me that you don’t love her anymore; when you say you don’t have feelings for her anymore, I know you are lying. I tried to get rid of my feelings for her and it was impossible. That’s how I know, if you felt the way you claimed to feel about her, those feelings won’t just melt away, because not loving Tobin Heath is impossible for me, so it must be damn hard for you.” She waited for a correction, for a protest, but there was none. “JJ is one of my best friends, I would do anything for her. You having feelings for Tobin will hurt Tobin, but it will destroy JJ. Do you understand that, it will absolutely destroy her.” She paused for a second, keeping herself as calm as she could. “You’re a good person, that’s what I am told, that’s what Tobin keeps telling me, that’s what JJ tells me every time your name is brought up, both of them always making sure I know how great you really are, and I believe them. I can tell you like JJ, and maybe one day you will even love her, once you finally stop loving Tobin. Until then, you have the power to hurt the women I am going to marry, and the power to destroy one of my best friends. So I am telling you right now, if you hurt my wife, if you hurt my friend, I will hurt you.”

Christen took a deep breath, lowering her head a bit trying to get away from Alex’s intense gaze. She nodded, “I understand.”

Before anything else could be said Tobin walked out the stalk room, “Hey what are you two talking about?”

Alex turned to her, “You…” she kissed her cheek, “She needs pointers on you, how to keep you in check.”

“Me?” Tobin laughed, “No way, I’m great.”

“Yeah, when you have someone reeling you in.” She looked over to Christen, “We can talk more later, if you want.”

Caught off guard, Christen nodded her head and smiled, “Yeah sure.”

Alex gave her a knowing look before turning back to Tobin, “Come on let’s get some food.”

Tobin gave a quick wave to her friend before she was pulled through the store and started walking down the block. She reached over and grabbed Alex’s hand lacing their fingers together, “I’m glad you two are getting along now.”

“Yeah,” Alex smiled over to her, “Me too.”

 

—

The two of them ended up in a pizza shop just a few blocks down. They ordered a pizza and sat down in a booth to wait. Tobin got an hour for lunch, because she wasn’t really doing much at work, and no one really cared because it was her last day, so she didn’t mind the long wait for the food. As they sat down Alex started to talk, no doubt the same thing she had been talking about for the last two days. The Morgans and the Brian’s were planning a goodbye barbecue and Alex had been talking about it non stop, worried about what was going to happen, if her mom was going to act the same way she had been acting towards them the whole time Tobin had been staying at the house. Tobin’s focus was on something else, something that caught her eye. 

A little girl walked in with her mom. She was in a pair of soccer shorts and a jersey that was a little too big on her and a pair of dirty cleats, untied with the laces touching the floor, she was short with long, messy brown hair, her knees a little dirty from playing, her arm had a small cut, no doubt also coming from the game she had just played. She held tight to her mothers hand, looking around the store, not really paying attention to one thing or another, just taking in all the things around her. It wasn’t until her mother gently pulled on her arm did she focus on something. Her mom asked her what kind of pizza she wanted, and she pointed up at a pictures of the pepperoni pizza on the big screen above the counter. Her mom leaned down and whispered to the little girl to tell the worker which one, to use her words. With a deep breath she said ‘pepperoni please’ then immediately looked away. Her mother smiled giving her hand a squeeze then went on ordering the rest of the meal. 

Tobin remembered holding her mothers hand. Every time they would go into a store, her mother would make her speak up even though speaking was the most terrifying thing in the entire world, especially to a stranger, especially to a grown up, but her mom insisted that she speak when she wanted something, always giving her gentle encouragement, and a big smile when she succeeded in getting the words out. Tobin missed holding her moms hand, she missed those days in a dirty soccer jersey fresh off the field when she was promised a big meal for having a great game. She missed the car rides where her mom would let her go over every play of the game more than five times always being excited about what Tobin had to say even though she had heard it already. She missed the gentle smiles and the loving looks. She missed her mom. 

“Babe,” Alex touched her hand snapping Tobin from her thoughts, “Are you paying attention?”

Tobin looked over at her and smiled, “Yeah.”

Knowing her girlfriend probably hadn’t heard a single word she said, Alex looked over at the little girl and her mom. She grabbed Tobin’s hand squeezing it tight, “One day you will have a little girl.”

A little shocked by the statement, Tobin nodded, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, and you are going to be a great mom,” Alex reached over touching her girlfriends chin, turning her head so she would face her, “Everything will be okay, I promise.”

Tobin leaned into Alex’s hand now sitting gently on her cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex said back with a soft smile. 

 

If Alex was being honest with herself, the thought had been on her mind too. She was worried about the future, what it looked like, what she was going to do. She had so many problems with her mom, and they started off when she was so young, she had no idea how she was going to be a mother. The whole idea worried her, but the closer she got to Tobin, the more she realized that she was meant to be with this worried girl sitting across from her, the more she knew everything was going to be okay. Tobin may have been having problems right now, but eventually she was going to be okay and one day, in the future, they were going to have a family, and as long as she had Tobin, everything was going to be okay. 

 

They spent the rest of their lunch talking about the barbecue, the thing Alex really wanted to talk about. Tobin kept focused on her girlfriend, distractions about her future now gone, she could worry about tomorrow instead of ten years from now. 

She was given directions to be on her best behavior at the party, Alex’s family was coming over, her whole family, and she wanted them to love Tobin as much as she did. Alex went on and on about each person, what to say and what not to say to them, Tobin didn’t plan on talking much, but she listened and agreed when Alex told her something, it was just better to agree when Alex was nervous about something. After lunch they walked together back to the shop, Alex still talking about tomorrow and how you shouldn’t bring up politics with her uncles, not that Tobin even planned on that. As they got to the window Tobin saw Meghan and Christen in the store laughing and an idea popped in her head. 

“Hey, come to the game tonight.” Tobin cut Alex off in one of her rants.

Alex looked in the window at the two girls who had problems with her. Even though all the weirdness was gone with Meghan, they still weren’t really friends, just two people who talked sometimes with their girlfriends dragged them together, and Alex definitely wasn’t a fan of Christen, and the feeling was mutual. 

“I don’t know babe,” she said hesitantly. 

Tobin put her arms on Alex’s shoulders, “Come on, don’t you wanna play with me one more time before we are on opposite teams for four years?”

“Yeah, of course I do…”

“Then you’ll play?” Tobin leaned in and kissed her, “Trust me babe, it’ll be so much fun. You an Chris are good now so there’s no worries.” She rushed out before Alex could respond. “I’ve got to get in there, I’ll see you in a few hours, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex said without protesting the game. Tobin was excited and it was hard to say no when she was that excited. 

 

—

 

The rest of the day was like the beginning of the say when they all just sat around talking, only this time Christen, and Jozy were standing in the doorway of the stalk room, in on the conversation. They talked for hours until it was time for Meghan and Tobin to clock out for the last time. No one said goodbye, they didn’t have to, they would see Christen and Jozy at the game, and they promised to see Ashlyn on Saturday before they left for UNC. So just like every other day, they said see you later and walked out the building.

 

“So Lex is coming to the game tonight,” Meghan said in a questioning tone as they drove off. 

Tobin looked over at her friend, “Yeah, why are you saying it like that?”

“Just making sure it’s a good idea. I mean, last time she almost took Chris’ head off.” She chuckled a bit, even though she was serious about the statement.

“They’re good now,” Tobin shrugged, “They won’t ever be best friends, but they are at least trying, you know for me and JJ.”

“That’s good I guess.” 

“I just want them to be okay, you know.” Tobin let out her worries, “JJ will be in Cali and I know she will look after Alex, and I’ll look after Chris, I just want everything to be okay.”

“I’m sure it will be,” she looked over other friend and smiled. 

 

—

 

Tobin got back to the house and headed upstairs, her body kind of tired and her mind wanting sleep. She plopped down on the bed she now called her own and closed her eyes. She was asleep for a few hours before Alex made it into the room, waking her up by rubbing her back gently. 

Tobin flipped around and whipped her eyes with the back of her hand, “Hey babe, when did you get in?”

“A few minutes ago, its six o’clock.” She smiled. 

“Oh we got to get ready for the game,” she sat up in the bed, starching her arms.

Alex lowered her head, “I don’t know if I should go to the game, babe.”

“Of course you should go,” Tobin scooted closer to her, “I want you there.”

“The last time…”

“That doesn’t matter,” she reached out grabbing Alex’s hand, “I need you there, you’re my striker.”

Alex couldn’t help the smile that came across her face, she shook her head, how the hell could she ever say no to this girl. She looked up at her girlfriend, that smile melting any worry she had, “Okay, we better be on the same team.”

“Of course babe,” Tobin said wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and pulling her all the way into bed, “I don’t care what I have to do, or who?” She wiggled her eyebrows. 

“You’re such a dork,” Alex said cracking up at the corny joke. 

“But you love me,” Tobin smiled wide.

“Yeah, I do.” She leaned down to capture her girlfriends lips. If she was going to play soccer with people who may not like her, she wanted a little something to put her in a good mood.

 

—

 

By the time the two girls had gotten enough of each other, and packed their bags, they were almost late to the park. Everyone was down on the field warming up when they pulled into the parking lot. Tobin gave Alex a knowing look, since she blamed her for all the time they spent in bed, even though Tobin would have happily been an hour late if it meant more time wrapped up in Alex. 

As they got on the field Tobin was immediately surrounded by other players all of them talking about teams, and how they had to be on her team for the last game. Alex sat in the grass next to Morgan and started putting on her cleats. 

“You’re girl is popular,” Morgan laughed watching everyone beg Tobin to be a captain and to pick them for her team. 

Alex looked up at the mob, and at her girlfriend trying to answer questions as she tried to get ready. “Yeah everyone loves her.”

“Hey,” Morgan took her best friends attention, “They will love you too, you just have to let them.”

“Yeah,” she looked down at her laces pulling them tight, “I know.”

The truth was, the group wasn’t a huge fan of her, this was the first time in her life that Alex wasn’t the star of the team, wasn’t the most popular girl on the pitch. The whole thing kind of scared her, even though this particular group didn’t like her because she blew up on one of the most loved players, and took Tobin, _the_ most loved player, away from them for a few weeks, it still worried her that maybe this would carry over to her new team. Maybe when she got to Berkeley she would be the outcast again, only now she wouldn’t have Morgan sitting next to her, telling her everything was going to be okay. She wouldn’t have Tobin looking back at her, giving her cheerful smiled, reassuring her she had someone on her side. Hopefully this was all in her head, this slump would be over with she got to California, she would be back to the old Alex, if she even wanted to be that Alex anymore. 

 

The game started, Tobin being first captain and Christen being second. The goalies were divided first, and then the real picking began. Of course Tobin picked Alex first, how could she not. Christen picked JJ and everyone groaned telling them to get the favoritism out their system and really pick players. Soon the teams were divided and the game could start. 

Alex went to center her foot on the ball, ready to take it out. She looked across to Christen standing tall in front of her. She expected to feel hatred, like she should destroy her, like her soul focus shovel be to score as many goals as possible so Christen couldn’t win, but that’s not what she felt when she looked across from her. She looked at the girl that she hated for so long, and she saw a small hint of sadness in her eyes, and Alex realized something she had been missing; Christen didn’t want to love Tobin, probably just as much as Alex didn’t want her to. This wasn’t her fault, Tobin was easy to love and hard to forget. Christen had accepted defeat and now she was working on moving on, so Alex needed to as well. A wave of relief washed over her just as a gust of wind blew around the field, and suddenly she felt better. She turned to Tobin who was standing happily on her left, and she kicked the ball over to her, starting the game. 

 

This was the last game she would play on this field, the idea ran through Tobin’s head as she made her way down the field, searching for Alex to receive the cross. She had been at this park her whole life, played on the field in the little leagues, ran around a few times with Meghan, but this was the first summer that the public park meant something to her. For the first time in her life she as going to miss it, the grass and the tress, the goals at each end, the noise coming from every direction, hell she would even miss the parking lot. On this field she fell in love, she found friends, she found a family. She had kicked the ball into those goals more than ten times, finding a new love for the game she held so close. The noise of the other players shouting brought her comfort, their laughs made her smile, made her feel happy. In the parking lot she sat for hours talking to Alex, falling in love, finding the girl she wanted to spend her life with. She was going to miss this park, she was going to miss New Jersey. 

 

“Tobin cross,” a voice called out. 

The sun was setting and the game was almost done, Tobin’s team ahead by two, and about to put another on the score board. She looked up to see Alex headed down the field towards the goal. As she pulled her leg back, then launched it forward sending the ball forward to meet Alex, Tobin realized, this was the last time she was going to send a ball to Alex for the next four years, this was their last game together. As Alex settled the ball just enough to get control and knock it into the back of the net, Tobin realized that was the last time she was going to assist her girlfriend for a long time. Normally the idea would make her want to cry, but as Alex ran towards her with her arms outstretched Tobin realized that she wasn’t sad. This gave her something to look forward to. It may take four years, but one day she would be on the same team as Alex again, one day they would play together, and this made the sad idea of being apart kind of happy.

Alex jumped up, throwing her arms around Tobin, who picked her up and spun her around, “Great cross babe!”

“That was all you,” Tobin said holding her close, “You’re amazing, you always give me a good target.”

As she was set down, she put her hands on Tobin’s cheeks, “No, it’a all you Tobin Heath, I don’t know how I am going to play without you.”

Tobin opened her mouth to tell her something, but there team was on them, hugging them both shouting about how great of a play it was. Tobin reassuring Alex how great she is going to be in California would have to wait until later. 

“So I guess that’s game,” Christen said walking up to the mob, “It’s five to two, and the street lights are on.”

JJ walked up behind her and put an arm around her shoulder, “Yeah, I think it’s time to admit defeat.”

Everyone agreed to end the final game of the summer, and started to talk about all the amazing plays they had seen over the summer. Soon everyone was sitting around in a circle changing out of their cleats and long socks, everyone telling their favorite play of the summer. 

Hope was the first to stand, “So I am going to miss playing with all of you, but I know all of us will be in the NWSL together in a few years, well all the girls at least.” She looked over to all the boys, “But I know we will be cheering all of you on in the MLS pretty soon too. But this is not my speech, I will give a great speech Thursday at the party that all of you better be at.”

She was referring to the last day of summer party she planned to throw instead of having a game on Thursday. Most the the players were heading out wither Friday or Saturday and it would be the last time any of them would see each other for at least a year, so the plan was to go to Hope’s house and talk all about the summer while kicking back and having a few drinks. Tobin was looking forward to the party, especially now that the group had really welcomed Alex, plus it would be the last chance for them to really hang out with the group before Alex went to California. 

After everyone agreed to save the big goodbyes for the party, they all went their separate ways. As Tobin sat in the passengers seat of Alex’s car, she wondered if everyone else was feeling like she was, sad to leave the little park. She wondered if everyone felt the same way about the place, she wondered if it changed their lives the way it changed hers. She hoped that she had an impact on all the lives of all her new friends, they way they impacted hers. She hoped they would never forget all the hours they spent, because she never would. 

 

—

 

Tobin opened her eyes to Alex sitting up in bed, her phone out and she was scrolling through instagram so quickly there was no way she was really looking at all the photos. This meant she was nervous, and since the family barbecue was today that had to be exactly what she was so nervous about. She sat up, reaching for her phone and checking that it was 7:00 in the morning and Alex had probably been up for at least and hour, she reached over and put in hand on Alex’s phone, pushing it down to her lap. 

“What’s going on Alex Morgan?” Tobin asked through a yawn. 

Alex took a huge breath letting her head fall back, “I just want today to go well.”

“It will,” she yawn another time shaking her head a bit, “It’s going to be awesome. I will be awesome. I will be thoughtful and smart and entertaining, and everything you need me to be. Don’t worry so much.”

“I’m not worried about you,” She looked over at her girl friend who was now sport a ‘yeah-right’ look, “Okay I am a little, but I am mainly worried about everyone else, and my mom. I want this to go smooth, I want everyone to love you and I don’t want my mom to sabotage your chances.”

She leaned back against the pillows, “It’s going to be fine. Trust me, I am going to impress the crap out of your extended family. I’m going to be so great nothing your mom can say or do will make them doubt my greatness. Come on, I’m Tobin Heath, I’m the greatest.”

Now smiling at her girlfriend new found cockiness, Alex leaned over and kissed her, “I’m so glad you’ve figured out how great you are.”

“Yeah I did, and it’s the greatest,” Tobin held her head high playfully, “Now how about I help you with this whole nerves thing, by distracting you from your thoughts, you know, with a little,” she smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. 

Alex shook her head smiling at her girlfriend, “Okay, but only because cockiness is kind of sexy on you.”

“Everything is sexy on me babe,” Tobin laughed.

 

Before they knew it, the time had come for all of Alex’s relatives to show up. The house was soon full of people who looked like Alex and talked like Alex, and spent all there time talking about how great Alex was. Tobin stood at the top of the stairs, she was nervous, but she could do this, no problem, after all they were talking about Alex, one of her favorite subjects. She walked down the stairs and looked around at the crowd, trying to find her girlfriend in the mob of people, if she was going to do this, she needed Alex by her side. 

“Hey, you must be Tobin,” a man called out to her. 

She turned to look at the guy, he looked like the younger version of Alex’s father, so Tobin assumed it was one of Alex’s uncles, “Uh, yeah I’m Tobin.”

“Well get over here,” he said as if they had been friends for years, “I hear you’re a Messi fan, how do you think he’s doing this year.”

Her eyes got wide, she didn’t expect this, but then again, the Morgan’s were a soccer family, so maybe this was something she should have guessed. She moved closer to the man and the two guys standing next to him, one who looked like Morgan’s dad but older, and a young guy that Tobin couldn’t place. 

She shrugged her shoulders, “Pretty good I guess. He seems kind of, I don’t know, off I guess, like there’s something going on.”

“See that’s what I said,” the guy said giving Tobin a slap on the shoulder, “I think he’s nursing an injury, like an ankle or something. He’s not as good on his left. I heard her tweaked something in the off season.” He looked over to Tobin, “I’m Rick by the way, Alex’s uncle, and this is Dan, Morgans uncle and his son DJ.”

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Tobin said with a wide smile, “And I think I heard the same thing about Messi, but they are saying it might be his knee.”

They all started in on their theories and suddenly Tobin felt at home.

 

Alex was outside on the deck in the back yard with her father, setting up the chairs and greeting her family as they came to the back where the food was starting to be prepared by Morgan’s dad. Alex had left Tobin in her room, expecting her not to want to come down until the last minute, which was okay. 

“Don’t worry,” her dad said simply. 

She looked over at him, “About what?”

“Them liking Tobin,” he chuckled a bit, knowing his daughter and her worried looks, “Tobin is great, she’s smart and polite and caring, she will do fine with them.”

Alex nodded, “I really hope so.”

A group of people came out onto the back deck, talking as they walked through the back door, Alex looked up to see who it was, she didn’t expect to see Tobin leading the pack. 

“Are you joking, there is no way 2002 Brazil could beat 2012 Germany,” she said with a loud laugh, “They would wipe the floor with them.”

“How old were you in 2002?” one of Alex’s uncles laughed. 

Tobin turned to him, “Old enough to know that they would have no chance of ever beating Germany. 2012 Germany had to be one of the greatest teams in the world.”

Her uncle looked over to Alex and pointed at her, “Lexy you might want to come get your girlfriend, she talking crazy.”

“I’m talking crazy?” Tobin exclaimed, “You’re telling me Rivaldo could have scored on Neuer. That’s really what your trying to tell me? There’s no way.”

Alex walked over to the group, putting her arm around Tobin, “Babe, it’s better to leave this one alone, he won’t ever shut up about 2002, it’s like his obsession.”

“It was the best world cup,” he said with a big smile.

“Are you kidding, the best world cup was 2012, it had all the best players,” Tobin said excitedly. 

The conversation erupted again, everyone arguing over the world cups, Tobin holding her own. If Alex thought for even a second that Tobin wouldn’t be able to handle her family, or that they wouldn’t love her, she didn’t have to worry anymore. Tobin fit into her family like she had been there her entire life. Alex stood by her side listening to her make her points, reeling her in whenever someone would get her all riled up. The more they talked, the more relaxed Alex felt, and soon she fell into a rhythm with her girlfriend the night going better than she could have planned.

 

—

 

As the barbecue ended, Alex’s dad stood up to make a toast. 

“So my baby girl is leaving,” he said, his voice a little airy, “She’s flying to California in a few days, going to college, going to play soccer, going to start her life. I can’t express how much I am going to miss you. I remember this first time I saw you, they doctors handed you to me, and you were so little. I was scared, even though I had done it two times before, I was still scared, but you reached out your tiny little hand and you wrapped you hand around my finger and just held tight. It was like you were telling me that everything was going to be okay, and ever since that moment, I haven’t stopped worrying about you, but you have always been the one to tell me everything was going to be okay. I watched you grow up, I watched you play soccer and grow into this amazing person that no one can stop. I am so proud of you Lexy, you have no idea. I know you are going to be okay, I know that you are going to be great, I just need you to call me sometimes, let me know that everything is okay so I don’t have to worry so much. Can you promise me that?”

“I promise dad,” Alex said with a tear starting to flow down her cheek.

“That’s my girl,” He held up his glass, “So this is to my youngest daughter, for good luck, for good health, and maybe a little for me so I don’t worry myself to death. Cheers.”

Everyone shouted cheers, and clicked their glasses together before taking a sip, but Alex’s dad didn’t sit down, instead he waited for everyone to pay attention to him once again. 

“I have one more speech,” he smiled at the crowd, “So a few weeks ago my daughter brought someone to our lives that has changed the way I see the world. She was nervous, and seemed a little lost, but within a few weeks she settled and started to really talk, and she and I had a long talk the other day. I asked if she was upset about her family, about what happened, and she said that she was, and that she missed her family, but she was okay because she saw us as her family. I realized it had only been a few weeks, but I had come to see her as family too. Tobin, I know that you can be quiet, and I know the only time you like attention on you is when you are on the pitch, but I just wanted to tell you, that this house will feel a little more empty when you leave. I am going to miss you like you were one of my own, and I can’t wait to see you when you come back.”

There was no fighting it, tears started to come down Tobin’s cheeks. “I’m going to miss you too, all of you. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for everything.”

“Hold your cups up one more time,” He said to the group, “This is for Tobin, for good luck in North Carolina, for good health, and again a little for me because I will worry about you too. Cheers.”

In unison, with all there eyes on her, they all said cheers Tobin taking a drink from their cups. Suddenly she felt more at home than she ever had. Everyone walked around telling Alex and Tobin how much they would miss them both, and Tobin actually felt like she would be missed, like this family really did love her. She gave a hug to everyone, as they all started to say goodbye, and in the moments she felt like she had truly found a family, and she was sad to go. 

For the last few weeks, the only thing that made her sad was being far from Alex. She was happy about going to college about getting out of the town, about becoming her own person, but now she was sad. She was leaving everything she had known, she was leaving something she had just figured out. She wasn’t just leaving Alex, she was leaving everything that made her feel safe. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the sadness was wrapped up in a happy gift. She was going to miss everything, but that meant she had something more to miss.

Ever since she got her acceptance letter for UNC, she as happy to leave, to go far away and be who she really wanted to be. College was an escape from a place that she felt like she couldn’t be who she truly was, but now the thought was far away. The idea of leaving was painful, and that was a good thing, because this was no longer an escape, it was another part of her journey one she was finally happy to be on.

 

—

 

“What do you think about this shirt?” 

Tobin sat up for the fourth time and looked at the fourth shirt Alex had tried on in the night, “That one’s great.”

“That’s what you said about the last three,” Alex turned back to the mirror, “I don’t know, maybe this isn’t a party shirt. Let me try another one.”

Frustrated, Tobin fell back on the bed, “Okay babe, I’ll be here, dying.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Alex huffed.

They had been at this for at least thirty minuets. Tobin made the mistake of telling Alex her first shirt was ‘okay’ which made the girl question everything she was wearing which caused her to change a billion times, which meant Tobin was stuck sitting on the bed looking at everything she wore and giving her ‘honest opinion’ which didn’t matter because Alex changed every time Tobin said anything. 

The party was starting in a half hour and Meghan and Morgan were going to be there to pick them up in fifteen minutes. Stupidly Tobin thought maybe she would get a chance to make out a little before the party, but she now realized that was not going to happen, instead she would be spending valuable make out time watching Alex change, and while the glimpse of the black bra she was wearing underneath all these clothes was nice, it was short lived by another shirt being put over it.

Alex put on a blue shirt that flowed a little longer in the back then the front. “What about this one?”

“I like it.” Tobin said as she sat up.

“You didn’t even look,” Alex breathed out.

Tobin sat all the way up, “That’s because I like everything you wear, you look great in everything.” She looked at her girlfriend, the blue in the shirt making the blue in her eyes pop, and how ever angry she was with Tobin right now, there was no denying that Alex looked amazing, “Seriously, I like that shirt, I’m not just saying that, it’s a great shirt.”

“You wouldn’t just be saying that because you want me to stop changing?” Alex asked as she turned back to the mirror.

“No way,” Tobin said getting up from the bed and wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist, “Seriously babe, you look hot.” She started to kiss her neck. 

Alex leaned into the kiss for a second before turning and pushing her away, “Okay stop, I won’t change again, but I do need to do my makeup so you go over there and stop being a distraction.”

“Fine,” she responded jumping on the bed face first, she turned her head so her words wouldn’t be muffled by the pillow, “But I think you look great just like that.”

“Not everyone gets to just get out of bed and have naturally great tan skin and bright eyes.” Alex told her as she sat in the chair by the mirror, talking her makeup bag from her desk, “And we don’t all get to just throw on a shirt and jeans and a snapback and look hot.”

She flipped over on the bed, “Hey I took my time planning this look.”

“It’s a plain grey shirt and a pair of jeans babe, how much planning really went into it?”

“You don’t understand my process.” Tobin said as seriously as she could.

Alex looked at her through the mirror, “Sorry, I’ll try to be a little more sympathetic to your fashion process.”

“That’s all I ask,” She smiled as she laid her head down on the pillows. 

Tobin took out her phone and saw the text from Meghan saying she would be there in ten minutes, she shouted the timeline to Alex and then opened up Instagram to the new account she had created a few days ago. So far she had a few pictures of her and Alex, and a couple of her dog. She was following all her friends, a few soccer players, and some teams. Her account wasn’t the most glamours but it was a start. She didn’t hide her account, she didn’t have to, she could have pictures of her and her girlfriend out for everyone to see, no need to but special blocks so her family couldn’t see it, no need to hide who she truly was. 

It was a few minutes before Alex stood up from the chair, “Well, hows the whole picture?”

Tobin looked away from her phone to see her girlfriend all done up, “Wow.” She got up from the bed and put her arms around her waist, “What do you say we skip this whole party and have some fun right here.”

“No way.” Alex said leaning in and planting a kiss on her cheek, “As sexy as you are, I got dressed for a party, you are taking me to a party Tobin Heath.”

A horn honked outside, it was Morgan and Meghan waiting for them. Tobin sighed. “Fine, but after.”

“If you’re lucky,” Alex winked.

 

They arrived at the party with everyone already at the house. The music was loud but not too loud after all it was just a small get together. They all headed for the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge and stood around talking to there friends. 

“Tobin, come be my partner,” Christen said walking up to the group. 

“I thought I was banned from beer pong,” Tobin said taking a sip of her beer.

Christen waved her hand, “They are just scared, come on.”

She looked over to Alex who shrugged. “Okay, let’s go kick some ass.”

Morgan stood next to her best friend, “Are we going to have a repeat of Boston?”

“No,” Alex responded turning to get another beer from the fridge. She cracked the can and took a sip, “I’m not going to do anything. Tobin is happy, and I don’t want to mess that up.”

“Hmm, is my Alex evolving?” Morgan joked.

“Maybe,” she chuckled leaning against the counter, “I’m becoming a better person, for her.”

“Yeah I think I’m doing that too, the whole better person thing,” she looked over at Meghan who was on the other side of the beer pong table dancing, trying to distract Tobin, “I guess they changed us.”

Alex watched Tobin sink another shot, pumping her fist in the air calling for balls back, “Yeah I guess they did.”

Tobin and Christen had won the game, and Tobin bragged about her awesome skills, which made Lindsey drag Sam to the table to try and beat them. It was four games later when the party had been going for a while that Hope called for the group.

“Everyone gather around,” Hope called out as she jumped on the coffee table. “All of you get over here so I can give a goddamn inspirational speech.”

The whole group started to laugh as she gathered around the table, the music lowering so they could here what their leader had to say. 

“So we are all going our separate ways in a few days. Some of us are staying closer than others, some are going all the way across the country, and one of us is moving a whole ocean away,” she looked over to Lindsay with a smile. “We will be spread out around the world, but we will always have each other. I don’t think I have ever had this much fun with a group of people in my life. You guys made coming home for the summer the best thing I could have ever done. I am declaring it right now, we will all see each other again, on the pitch, during the next olympics. So go, play hard, get noticed so I don’t have to be alone in Tokyo 2020. I love you guys and I’m going to miss every single one of you.” She held up her cup, quickly wiping a tear that escaped, “Okay enough, fucking cheers already.”

Everyone yelled cheers at the top of their lungs and took a drink, then the music was turned back up so everyone could keep partying. 

 

The party ragged on, Tobin eventually getting kicked off the beer pong table for being too good. She wasn’t too upset, opting to dance with Alex for a little while, before settling down on the couch and sipping a beer watching the room spin. Soon she was joined by Morgan who had been waiting on Meghan to stop playing one of the guys in Mario Kart on the big screen, which wasn’t going to happen because she claimed to be on a hot streak. 

Tobin looked out to the dance floor then leaned into to Morgan, “She’s super pretty.”

Morgan looked over to see Tobin was looking at Alex dancing with small group. “Yeah she is.”

The clearly intoxicated girl, let her head fall back on the couch pillows, “I’m kinda in love wit her.” She giggled for a second, “Did ya know that?”

“Yeah Toby, I knew that,” She laughed. 

“I’ve always loved’er,” she shouted, picking her head up, the ceiling fan making the spins worse. “Like always, ya know.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Morgan couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.” She said getting a little serious. 

Tobin leaned in closer, her chin now resting on Morgans shoulder, “I’m scared.”

“Of leaving?” She questioned. 

“Nah, that’ll be okay,” Tobin giggled a bit, “I’m scared… of her.” She leaned back in the pillows, “She has it, she’s got my, my…” she held a beer can to her chest and made a really bad heart beat sound, “She’s got it, the whole thing. She could just…” she held the can out in front of her and crushed it, “Into a billion pieceses, because it’s hers, ya know.”

Though highly intoxicated herself, Morgan understood what Tobin was saying. Alex had her whole heart, she she could crush it, but Morgan knew something drunk Tobin didn’t, Alex wouldn’t even dream of hurting her, she would die before hurting Tobin. 

“She loves you too,” Morgan assured her, “Like a whole lot, like you don’t even know.”

Tobin gave her a big goofy smile, “Yeah?”

“Yeah Toby.” She pointed at Alex, “That girl would do anything for you. She loves the shit out of you, don’t ever forget that.”

She started to laugh, “Okay Moe, I’ll remember.”

She put her hang on Tobin’s knee, “Wait here.”

“Where you goin?” Tobin asked in a whinny voice. 

Morgan got up and walked over to her friend, “Hey, I think it’s time to take Tobin to bed.”

Alex turned around to see the sad girl on the couch moving slowly to the music playing. “Yeah maybe you’re right.”

Tobin had closed her eyes after Morgan walked away, her mind telling her that if she couldn’t see then the room couldn’t spin. She felt a pair of hands on her shoulders, she opened her eyes to see a pair of bright blue eyes looking at her.

“Oh hey beautiful,” she said with a big smile and a little laugh, “Have’ya come to sit wiff me?”

“I’ve come to take you to bed,” Alex chuckled, “Come on let’s go upstairs.”

“Okay, buuuutttt only if you promise to tuck me in.” She started to crack up. 

Alex pulled her up from the couch, “I promise.”

 

They headed up the stairs to the spare room Hope said they could use for the night. Alex took off Tobin’s jeans, which got some drunken attempts at flirting, before she convinced her to climb in bed, and try to close her eyes. 

“Lex,” Tobin whispered. 

Alex walked over to the side of the bed that Tobin was beginning to wrap herself in the blankets, “What’s up love?”

“I’m gonna miss you like crazy,” she said with a hiccup. 

“I’m gonna miss you too,” she responded rubbing her back. 

Tobin pulled the blankets close to her face, “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t leave you,” she said softly, “I’ll never leave you.”

“Good,” she said softly as her breaths started to even out, “One day, I’m gonna marry you, and I can’t do that if you leave, so don’t do that.”

Alex could feel her heart beat faster in her chest, she wished Tobin was sober so she could make her say that again, she almost shook her awake to make her say it one more time, but she knew the confession was something only admitted because she was vulnerable and she couldn’t take that away from the girl she loved. So she tucked Tobin in further, making sure set her phone on the night stand and a bottle of water was there for the morning. 

She climbed into bed next to her, wrapping her arm around her and tucking her head into Tobin’s back. “I’ll never leave you.” She whispered softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. I promise the next chapter won't take as long. Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> If you were looking for Preath, that's the last chapter.


	35. Our Life Together (Christen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. Tobin goes to Scotland for her tryout, and we get to see what she is going to do... for the rest of her life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! The last chapter! I hope everyone enjoys. It's a long chapter, probably could have been split into two, but I didn't want to. 
> 
> Towards the end there is some French and Spanish, I put the translation under the hard words and phrases so no one has to struggle. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and as always ignore those typos.

The morning came quickly, Tobin didn’t really sleep, she spent most of her night holding onto Christen making sure they were as close as possible. She didn’t really need sleep, after all she could sleep on the plane. That was today. That was in less than six hours. She was about to get on a plane and start the rest of her life. Right now, Christen was resting comfortably, her head placed on Tobin’s chest, her breathing steady, her arms wrapped around her tight. Right now the rest of the world didn’t matter, the future didn’t matter, all that mattered was the girl she loved. Tobin closed her eyes and tried to savor the seconds she had left.  
   
The sun was shining through the curtains, this made Christen stir. First she clung closer to Tobin, wrapping her arms tighter around her, burying her face in her chest to escape the light, but the warmth of Tobin’s body wasn’t enough to keep her in a dream state. She woke up and looked up at her girlfriend who was clearly pretending to sleep.  
   
“How long have you been awake?” she asked with a little yawn.  
   
Tobin closed her eyes tighter, “I’m not awake, I’m asleep. Go back to sleep.”  
   
She chuckled rising up to plant a kiss on Tobin’s cheeks, “Babe, I think it may be time for us to get up.”  
   
Reaching over to the night stand Tobin grabbed her phone and checked the time, “We still have fifteen minutes, go back to sleep.”  
   
“Did you sleep?” Christen asked, laying her head back down.  
   
“No,” she responded simply, “I can’t sleep.”  
   
“Are you nervous?”  
   
“No,” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I just don’t want to miss you.”  
   
Christen snuggled closer into Tobin holding her close, “Me too.”  
   
   
   
The fifteen minutes felt like five, and the alarm on Tobin’s phone went off, letting her know she only had two hours to get to her house. She was lucky to be able to spend her last night away from her family, she was lucky to sleep with Christen, she was lucky to have one of the best nights of her life be the last night with her friends, with her girlfriend.  
   
Together they got out of bed, stealing kisses from each other as they got dressed and packed up their bags. They headed down stairs where some of their friends were asleep on the couch and some on the floor, looking like they passed out where ever they dropped last night. Tobin looked at the crowd shaking her head and smiling. She was sad to leave all of them. She wanted to wake them up, tell them all goodbye, but they had said a lot last night, made promises to see each other again and that would be enough until the next time Tobin was home.  
   
She grabbed Christen’s hand holding it tight, she looked into her eyes and gave her a nod, letting her know she was ready to go. They walked out, squinting their eyes from how bright the sun was, when she looked over at her car Meghan was standing, sunglasses on, hat low on her head and a scowl on her face. Beside her was Morgan, Alex and Sam, all looking equally hungover.  
   
“Why in the name of god are we up so early?” Meghan huffed.  
   
Tobin walked up to her, “I don’t know what you’re up, but I have a plane to catch.”  
   
“You think I am going to let my best friend take off for the airport without me?” she stood up stretching her arms and yawning, “First we are getting coffee and food, then I will take you home, then I will sneak Chris to the airport so you can say goodbye after your parents leave.”  
   
“Thanks bud,” she gave her friend a pat on the shoulder, Meghan was looking after her one more time before she left.

A door closed behind them, Tobin turned around to see the rest of the crew walking out of the house, all of them wearing sunglasses looking as hungover as Tobin felt. 

“So who’s buying coffee?” Hope asked with a half smile. 

Tobin looked around at her friends, “You guys didn’t have to get up.”

“Of course we did,” JJ grunted as she pulled her hat lower on her head, “We’re family.”

Tobin lowered her head and tried not to smile, but there was no use, “Thanks guys.”

“Yup,” Hope threw her arm around Tobin’s shoulder, “Now, how about that coffee?”  
   
They all piled into cars, Alex and Sam driving Tobin’s car so she could ride in back of Meghan’s with Christen, who hadn’t let go of her hand the entire drive. The car ride was quiet, no one wanting to speak until they all had coffee. Tobin spent the time looking out the window trying to study her home town and memorize the images so she could think back on it when she was gone.  
   
The little coffee shop was the same place Meghan and Tobin went every day before work. They ordered their usual, everyone else stepping up to order, making sure to add few extra shots to their coffee. Instead of eating in the shop, they went outside and sat on the hood to the cars drinking their coffee and finally waking up enough to talk.  
   
They all stayed off the one topic that was on their minds, splitting up, not seeing each other for months, and in Tobin’s case, maybe not for a whole year. Instead they talked about the soccer games in the park, the trip to Boston, and the parties they went to. They all went over their summers, how each of them found someone to love, someone to miss in a few days when they all went to college. They never brought up Scotland, about Tobin possibly staying, they all just joked about the past, talked about all being together on the national team.  
   
Before they knew it, the morning was gone and it was past time for Tobin to show up at her house so she could go to the airport. Christen gave her a hug, trying to stay strong, trying not to cry, and then let her get in her car and drive away.  
   
 

Meghan was in the passengers seat, watching Tobin drive, her eyes forward focused on the road. “Can I ask you something?”  
   
Tobin turned to her for a second, snapped out of her thoughts, “Of course.”  
   
“Are you coming home?” it was a question she was dying to ask but was too afraid of the answer.  
   
She gripped the steering wheel, her heart beating in her chest, “I don’t know.”  
   
That was the answer she was giving everyone because in her mind she wanted to hold out. She wanted there to still be a chance that she was coming back, that she was going to college and was going to play with her best friend and girlfriend, but if she was honest the hope was small. The thought of coming home felt so comfortable, but the thought of staying felt right. Still the hope was there, and she didn’t want to get rid of it, not yet.  
   
   
   
When they arrived at her house, everyone was already outside waiting. Two big suitcases were down by the car, one for her, one for her sister. Perry was holding her orange backpack, the one she had packed for a carryon, the same backpack she carried to school every day. She got out the car slowly, looking back at Meghan for encouragement. She walked up to her family and gave them all a little shrug.  
   
“You ready?” Perry asked sweetly.  
   
Tobin pushed her hands in her back pockets, “I guess.”  
   
Katie walked over to her and put her arm around her little sister’s shoulders, “You’re ready.”  
   
They all walked to the car, her mom and siblings getting inside as Tobin stood out with her dad as he put the suitcases in the trunk. Tobin walked over to Meghan who was hanging out by her car trying not to look sad.  
   
“Hey dude,” Tobin said in a low voice. “I’ll see you in an hour.”  
   
“Yeah, I know,” the shorter girl said taking a long breath, “So uh, yeah go get in the car and text me when your parents are gone and I’ll bring Chris and everyone in to say goodbye.”  
   
“See you later,” Tobin corrected. “I will see you later. I’m not going forever.”  
   
Meghan looked up at her giving her a half smile, “Yeah I know.” She took another deep breath, “I’ll see you in a bit.”  
   
   
   
The car ride to the airport was filled her mom talking about safety in airports and all the things she read about Scotland. She made Perry promise a million things that had to do with their safety, including calling every single day. Normally Tobin would be annoyed by her mom’s ranting, but it was kind of comforting, after all this would be the last time for a long time that she would get to hear her mom go on and on about something she didn’t really care about. It was nice to hear her voice, to feel like this was all routine and not like this was the biggest deal in her entire life.  
   
“I put you on a travel plan for the first two weeks,” her mom went on about staying in contact with her, “If you decide to stay, you’ll have to get a new phone, just let us know when you come back and we will help you set everything up.” She looked back at her daughter who was staring out the window, “Tobin, did you hear me?”  
   
“What?” Tobin looked over at her mother, she had only heard a little of what she was saying, but she knew it was about a phone, or something along those lines, so she responded with, “Okay mom.”  
   
“Let her think,” her dad said in a low voice, “We will figure all that out later, okay?”  
   
Her mom huffed and sat back in her chair, “I just want to make sure she has everything.”  
   
   
The little that Tobin actually heard her mother talk about was important, but she just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk about it. She didn’t want to talk about airport safety, or what to do if you get lost in town, or when to get a new phone. She didn’t want to talk about any of it, all she wanted to talk about was the summer, about everything she had done, all the people she had found. She wanted to talk about Christen, she wanted a guarantee that her girlfriend would be okay. She wanted confirmation on everything that was worrying her, but no one could give that to her.  
 

 

The airport wasn’t packed, it was kind of an odd day in the middle of  summer, everyone was probably still enjoying the weather with their families, something Tobin wished she was doing right now instead of standing in line for her tickets and having her stomach do back flips. She wished she was in the park, the ball at her feet, Meghan yelling from behind to cross it over to Christen waiting ahead by the goal. She wanted to be sitting at the outside eating area of WaWa, enjoying a giant turkey sandwich and chocolate shake, waving flies away from her food and watching Christen laugh at her. She wished she was in her back yard kicking the ball against the old wooden fence, Striker barking at her. Right now, standing in line behind a business man in a dark blue suit and way too much cologne, she would give anything to be back in the park sitting around in the grass, sharing stories and secrets with her friends.  
   
After they got their printed tickets and checked their bags, they all walked to the security line and that’s when her mom finally started to cry. The whole car ride she had been talking non-stop, Tobin figured she wouldn’t cry at all, but she was just holding it all in, waiting to do it right here at the last minute.  
   
“I can’t believe you’re going,” her mom said through light sobs, “I am going to miss you so much.”  
   
It was time to be strong, time to show everyone she was the adult that she had been claiming to be all summer. She couldn’t break down, it would only make the goodbye harder. _See you later, this is a see you later_ Even though she could feel her chest tighten, and her heart beat faster, she kept it together, for her family, for herself, for now.  
   
Tobin hugged her mother close, “I’ll be back in two weeks.”  
   
“Yeah to pack your stuff and send it on.” She pulled away from her daughter so she could look her in the eyes, “Tobin, you’re going pro, I hate saying it only because it means you’ll live in a different country, but you are going pro, you are way too good to give it up. I am so proud of you.”  
   
“Thanks mom,” Tobin took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from crying, “I love you.”  
   
“I love you too,” she hugged her youngest daughter one more time before finally letting go and letting the others move in.  
   
Next was Katie, who pulled Tobin in so close she felt like the air was getting squeezed out of her lungs, “Look at you kid, I am so proud of you.”  
   
“Thanks Katie,” Tobin said with a big smile, “Are you going to visit me?”  
   
“Hell yeah! I’ll be there the first break I get.” She smiled, knowing they couldn’t say anything too mushy so they wouldn’t start crying, “You got this, go show them who you are.”  
   
“I will,” she paused just for a second, “I love you sis.”  
   
“I love you too,” Katie said her eyes getting a little watery, “Now go before you make me cry.”  
   
Jeff walked up to her, “Good luck.”  
   
“Thanks little bro,” Tobin knew how this was going to go, “Love you.”  
   
“Love you too,” he went in for a quick hug, “Kick ass.”  
   
Tobin hugged him back, “I will.”  
   
The last person was her father, they had been talking a lot the last few days, really discussing the future and what Tobin should do. As much as she trusted the advice from everyone around her, the person she always listened to the most was her father, after all she was just like him. The other day, they were in the garage, putting new blades on the old lawn mower and Tobin asked him about the professional contract, about what she should do and he gave her his honest opinion.  
   
“Remember who you are,” he said in his deep voice.  
   
Tobin stood up straight, “I will.”  
   
He reached out and pulled her in for a hug. “Remember what we talked about.”  
   
“I will.” She said, her face buried in his shoulder. “I love you dad.”  
   
“I love you too Tobin,” his voice was scratchy like he was holding back. When he pulled away Tobin could tell he was trying not to cry, “You got this.” He leaned in, “I’ll get your mom out of here so your friends can say goodbye.”  
   
She looked up at him and smiled, “Thanks dad.”  
   
   
Much to her mother’s protest, the rest of the family left as Tobin and Perry pretended to get into the security line. As soon as they were out the door and walking across the street, a group of girls came rushing into the airport. Tobin jumped out a line and joined the mob, all of them trying to look tough, like they were about to start tearing up.

“I always knew you’d make it,” JJ said putting a hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “You were always way too good.”

“It was easy when I had you backing me up,” Tobin smiled. 

“I’ll back you up again on the national team,” she pulled her in for a hug, letting the moment sink in between them. 

JJ pulled away, turning away so Tobin wouldn’t see the single tear she let escape, but Tobin noticed and let it go without mentioning it. She turned to the tall blonde who was staying strong for her girlfriend.  
   
“So, uh, I don’t know, put in a good word for me,” Sam laughed, “I can join you next year.”  
   
“You will not steal my girlfriend,” Alex said coming up behind her slapping Sam on the shoulder. “Good luck Toby, even though you don’t need it because you are going to blow them away.”  
   
Tobin chuckled, “Thanks Lex, for everything. I mean it, I don’t know what I would have done without you this summer.” She looked over to Sam, “You better take care of her, or I will never put in a good word for you.”  
   
“She will be in mint condition when you get home,” Sam said with a big smile.  
   
Alex gave her another slap on the shoulder. “Stop talking about me like I am a collector’s item.”  
   
They all started to laugh, Tobin hugging them individually, before turning to Allie.  
   
“Alright, I guess we have to say goodbye, Harry,” Allie smiled.  
   
“I guess we do,” Tobin went in for a hug, “Goodbye Harry, take care of our girl.”  
   
“You know I will.”

Hope was next, “Watch the left corner.”

“I will,” Tobin smiled, knowing her friend was giving soccer advice in order to stop herself from crying. “Take care of Lindsey.”

Tobin looked over to her friend then back to Hope, “Yeah, I’ll try.”  
   
Lindsey came up, the only one not looking like the saddest person in the world, “See you in a few weeks.”  
   
“London won’t even know what hit’em.” She laughed.  
   
They did their typical hand shake, three slaps and a fist bump. There was no need to drag out their goodbye because they already planned to hang out when they had a long weekend break from practice.  
   
“I’m not saying goodbye,” Kling said as Tobin turned to her.  
   
Tobin lowered her eyebrows, “You’re not?”  
   
“Nope,” she stood up straight, “You’ll be home in a couple weeks to get your stuff, and I’ll watch all your games, and talk to you all the time, so I won’t even miss you.”  
   
“Yeah, I’ll watch all your games, and I’ll text you, so I won’t miss you either.” Tobin said trying to match her best friend’s toughness. “So I guess we don’t have to say goodbye.”  
   
“Nah, I think we’re good.” Meghan said with her eyes welling up.  
   
Morgan came up behind her girlfriend, “Say goodbye.” She whispered in her ear.  
   
Meghan lowered her head, “You better kick ass.” She watched Tobin nod, not able to speak. “You’re my best friend.” She said quickly.  
   
Tobin nodded, “You’re my best friend.” She could feel her throat tighten.  
   
The shorter girl shrugged, a tear starting to make it’s way down her cheek, “I love you.”  
   
“I love you too, dude.” Tobin rushed over and hugged her friend almost knocking them both off their feet. “I’ll see you soon.”  
   
“Yeah I know.” Her words were muffled by Tobin’s shirt, but she knew her friend heard them, she knew Tobin understood exactly how she felt.  
   
After Morgan pulled her girlfriend away and said goodbye to Tobin, the whole crowd backed off, so Christen could finally see Tobin.  
   
They looked at each other for a second, neither of them knowing what to say, words couldn’t be enough in this moment. Tobin thought about this a hundred times on the car ride, how she could express how she felt, how she could tell Christen how much she was going to miss her, but everything sounded silly. How was she supposed to tell the love of her life how much she meant to her?  
   
“Take the contract.” Christen said quickly. She watched Tobin’s eyes get wide. “Listen, I love you, like I am so in love with you Tobin Heath, you have no idea. As much as I want you to be in school with me, as much as I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning, this is your chance. Tobin this opportunity won’t always be here, but I will. I’ll be right here when you come home, because you will come home eventually. Sign the contract Tobin.” She reached out and grabbed her hands holding them tight, “I promise, I will be here, always.”  
   
She threw her arms around Christen’s neck, pulling her in close, “I love you so much. I will come home, I will find a way back to you, I promise.”  
   
That’s what needed to be said, those were the right words. They spent a minute hugging, feeling each other’s warmth for a second, before pulling back and sharing a kiss. They both knew this wasn’t it, they would see each other in a couple weeks, and then they would find a way to see each other though out the year. As long as they were together, they would be okay, they would always be okay.  
   
As hard as it was, Tobin had to get in line for her flight. Everyone stayed around, watched her go through security, before she was finally too far into the airport for them to see. Together, they all walked out the airport and piled into the car, Alex immediately wrapping Christen up as the girl started to cry.  
   
   
   
\--  
   
   
The flight was long, Tobin had her head phones on watching movies and listening to music most of the time. She wanted to stay awake since they would be landing at night, she wanted to switch up her sleep schedule as soon as possible. Perry was quite most of the flight, leaving Tobin to her thoughts, knowing her little sister needed the time to get her head together.  
   
They landed on schedule and got off the plane as quickly as the slow people in front of them would allow. Tobin was happy to just stand and stretch her legs, she was never really good at just sitting. They stood in line for customs, her passport in hand. She handed it off to the guy behind the glass.  
   
“Are you here for business of pleasure?” He asked in a thick accent.  
   
Tobin looked up at him, “Both I guess,” she smiled, “I’m here to play soccer… football, I’m here to play football.”  
   
“Oh? And what club are you going to?” he asked curiously.  
   
“Glasgow City,” she said proudly.  
   
“The Scots huh?” he gave her a smile, “They’re a good team. Good luck…” he looked down at her passport, “Heath, I’ll be looking out for ya.”  
   
Tobin smiled back, “Thanks.”  
   
The next domestic flight was only an hour, but Tobin was anxious, she was ready to see the country, the field, the team, she was just ready. Perry had to stop her from downing a cup of coffee, telling her she already had too much energy. Soon they landed and walked through the airport to baggage claim. After grabbing their bags they headed for the exit where a girl was holding up a sign the said her last name.  
   
Tobin walked up to her, “Hey, I’m Tobin, and this is my sister Perry”  
   
“Hey, I’m Sam.” Her accent was thick, but nice. She looked really young, maybe around Tobin’s age. “So Glasgow is about an hour from here, I hope ye ready to sit for a while longer.”  
   
“Honestly I’m ready to run,” Tobin laughed.  
   
“Oh no worries, coach’ll have ye running soon enough,” she chuckled. “Let’s just get ye to a bed and you can run all ye want in the morning.”  
   
“Sounds like a plan.”  
   
   
   
Scotland was the most beautiful place Tobin had ever seen. There were fields of green, tall buildings older than she even knew. The drive, though the sun was setting, was as amazing as she thought. When they got to the city she found herself looking out the window study every piece of the city she might call home. They stopped at an apartment building, parking on the side of the street, the opposite side, something Tobin was still amazed at.  
   
“So you’ll be up there with me and Lee,” Sam said as they got out the car, “We have a spare room, but if you decide to stay you can always find a different flat, but these are the best in town, trust me.”  
   
Tobin studied the building with its dated bricks and modern features, “I don’t really need my own place, I don’t take up much room.”  
   
“We’re happy to house you,” she smiled, “Honest we’re not really here much. Lee and I are always running around.”  
   
“Sounds like Tobin,” Perry laughed, “She’s always out kicking around or something.”  
   
“Aye, you’ll fit right in,” Sam chuckled.  
   
   
They went inside, the hallway reminding Tobin of hotel. The elevator went up to the fifth floor, and they walked down the hall and into the apartment. The place was simple, with a couch, a television and tables that all seemed to be covered in soccer stuff. There were bags full of gear in almost every corner, and soccer trophies just sitting around in odd places. The whole place felt like the two girls cared more about comfort than making sure everything was perfect and that was exactly how Tobin was.  
   
“So your room in on the left, there’s a double bed, figured you too would share, but one of ya can sleep on the couch if ye want.” She directed them to the room, “Telly works, but all you really get is BBC Prime which is boring. If you wanna watch American games you need to put a VPN on your computer, I can show ye how to do that tomorrow. The WIFI password is GCFCchamps, all one word.”  
   
Tobin looked around the room, it had a bed with a night stand, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a wardrobe in the corner. “This is great.”  
   
“It’s home,” Sam shrugged, “Well, I’ve gotta get some sleep. Get all the sleep ya can now, coach want’s to see ya the day after tomorrow.”  
   
“Okay awesome.” Tobin smiled, “Thanks.”  
   
“No worries.” Sam yawned, “Alright, I’ll see ya tomorrow when I get back from practice. Have a good night.”  
   
“Yeah, you too.”  
   
Tobin looked around the room one more time before throwing her back pack on the bed and looking over to her sister. “So this could be home.”  
   
“What do you think?” Perry asked wide eyed.  
   
Tobin gave her a huge smile, “I love it.”  
   
   
   
   
Tobin spent the rest of the night and most of the day sleeping. She thought staying up on the plane would have kept her from being so sleepy, but her body needed a lot more rest that she anticipated. She didn’t wake up until around four in the afternoon. Perry was up before her and left a note that said she was going to explore, she couldn’t sleep or watch BBC anymore.  
   
Tobin took out her phone and logged onto the WIFI. The first thing she did was Facetime Christen.  
   
“Hey babe,” Tobin smiled.  
   
Christen was headed on her lunch break, “Hey you, what time is it?”  
   
“A little past four,” Tobin said with a yawn, “I’ve been sleeping almost all day.”  
   
“Toby!” Meghan appeared on the screen, “Dude, how is it?”  
   
“Hey, it’s pretty cool so far, I mean I haven’t seen much, I just woke up.”  
   
“You haven’t seen the team yet?” Meghan asked.  
   
Tobin got up from bed, “No, that’s tomorrow.” She walked down the hall, “Hey check out my new flat.”  
   
“Flat, huh?” Christen joked, “Are you British already?”  
   
“Yeah, it happens fast here,” Tobin laughed. She spun around so they could see the entire place, “Pretty cool huh? I met one of my roommates, Sam, she’s pretty cool, I have another one Lee, I guess I’ll meet her tonight, or tomorrow.”  
   
“Is that where you’ll stay after you sign a contract?” Christen asked.  
   
Tobin nodded, “Yeah, they said I can stay here. Sam says they are out all the time so no one is ever here. Hopefully I’ll be out with them, playing soccer and stuff.”  
   
“Don’t go get a new best friend,” Meghan said quickly.  
   
Tobin chuckled, “Don’t worry Kling, no one can take your place.”  
   
“Better not,” she gave her a stern look, “Well I’ll let you two talk. Chris has been talking about you all day, I think she misses you.”  
   
Christen gave the shorter girl a little shove, “Just go order my usual, and let me know when the foods ready.”  
   
“She’s violent without you Tobs,” Meghan laughed.  
   
Tobin chuckled, “She’s always been a little violent.”  
   
As soon as Meghan was in the restaurant, Christen leaned against the outside wall holding the phone a little closer so she could really see the girl on the other end, “How’s it really?”  
   
“Good,” Tobin said with a little shrug, “I only got to see small parts, but it’s not bad. I thought it’d be colder, but it’s still summer. How are you?”  
   
“I’m okay,” she said in a sadder tone than she meant to have, her whole plan of keeping a brave face starting to fail, “I miss you.”  
   
“I miss you too,” she said with a half-smile, “I woke up today and realized I didn’t have to go to work and I got sad.”  
   
“Yeah, when I walked in I remembered you wouldn’t be in the back waiting for me, I got really sad.”  
   
“We can do this,” Tobin said cheerfully.  
   
Christen smiled, her girlfriend always trying to see the bright side of things, “I know, we’ve got this.”  
   
Before Tobin could say more cheerful things, Perry walked into the house holding McDonalds bags and Tobin’s stomach reminded her that she had only snack foods in the last twenty-four hours.  
   
“So, I’m starving and Perry just came in with food,” Tobin smiled.  
   
Christen chuckled, “Go eat before you get all grumpy. Call me before you go to sleep.”  
   
“You got it babe,” she replied with her signature smile, “I love you.”  
   
“Love you too.”  
   
Tobin hung up the phone, shoving it in the pockets of her shorts. That was the first long distance conversation and it went pretty well, hanging up was hard and she knew it wouldn’t get easier, but at least it would be less frequent.  
   
She sat down with her sister and listen to all the fantastic things that were around the apartment buildings, and all the stuff she needed to see. Before long her roommates were home and Tobin quickly realized that her new roommates were pretty much exactly like her other friends. All of them were hungry to play football, and they talked about it nonstop. Tobin got the low down on the team, who was who and how they all played, by the time the night came she was ready to get on the pitch.

   
   
\--  
 

 

The next morning Tobin was wide awake. She took a quick shower, changed into her gear, her brand new cleats, in her bag. She went with her roommates to get coffee and a bite to eat before they drove to the stadium.  
   
The place was huge, she had been in stadiums before but never the players entrance, but there she was, pushing open the door that said ‘authorized personnel only’ because she was officially authorized. She walked down the halls wide eyed still not fully believing this was her life. Sam pushed opened the coach’s door and let Tobin in before heading out the locker room.  
   
She stood quietly waiting for the woman behind the desk to finally speak. The office was full of plaques and trophies, more than she ever thought the small team would have.  
   
“Tobin,” the woman finally spoke, “Come have a seat.”  
   
A little hesitant, Tobin went over to the chair in front of the desk and sat down again waiting for the woman to speak first.  
   
“How was the trip?” she asked cheerfully.  
   
Tobin sat up a little in the chair, “Long, but good.”  
   
“How are the legs, I know I’m always tired after a long flight.” She asked her voice still light.  
   
Tobin ran her hand down her legs, “Good, ready to work.”  
   
“That’s what I like to hear,” she leaned back in her chair, “Don’t be so nervous Tobin, everything is going to be okay.”  
   
Finally she cracked a smile, knowing she most likely looked less nervous than she felt, inside she was freaking out, but outside she was trying to keep calm.  
   
“So this is a tryout, I want you out there for two weeks so I can see how you flow with the whole team. I know it’s a time change, and it’s probably a system change for you on the pitch and I want to make sure I see the best of you, which judging from the tape you sent, your best is top notch. Just go out there and play your game and I’ll let you know when you need to play mine.”  
   
It made sense, the way Tobin played was different than all the videos she had seen of the young squad. Their style was different, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t pick up with time.  
   
“I can do that,” she replied as confidently as she could.  
   
“That’s good,” she smiled. “Go on and get changed into some gear, we have some set out in the locker room.”  
   
“Yes coach,” Tobin jumped up and headed for the door, “Oh and coach,” she turned before reaching the door, “Thanks for the opportunity.”  
   
“You’re an amazing young talent Tobin, this is as much an opportunity for the club as it is for you,” she gave her an encouraging smile, “Now go out there and show us what you can do.”  
   
   
All the things she did this summer, all the accomplishments, all the adventures, all of it lead up to this moment, all of it lead to her walking down the hall, pushing open the doors of the locker room, putting on a pair of black shorts and an orange practice jersey. Her whole summer lead up to her lacing her new cleats, to picking up a brand new soccer ball, tucking it under her arm and walking out into the tunnel. Her entire life, every second she spent practicing, every run she went on, all the workouts, all the nights spent studying the game lead to her stepping onto the pitch and starting her professional career.  
   
   
   
\--  
2 weeks later  
\--  
   
   
Christen had her headphones on, coming down the hall of her new dorm, headed towards her room. She had spent the last hour in the laundry room washing her practice kit and reading her first English assignment. She had been at school for a week now, her dorm room, that she shared with Allie, Meghan and their new teammate Tierna, was all set up, the pops of orange that she bought for Tobin scattered around her place, reminding her of the girl she missed.  
   
The transition from her parent’s house to the dorm had been hard, the loneliness creeping up on her at night, but every time she felt sad she would call Tobin and they would talk until she fell asleep. The rest of her time was spent in class or at practice learning her new team. When she wasn’t on the pitch she was with her friends, the old ones that came with her and the new ones they all collected. The more activities she did the less she missed Tobin, the less she missed home, the less she missed her old life.  She had been waiting for two weeks for an answer from her girlfriend, an answer she pretty much already knew, but still held out hope on. Every night she asked Tobin about the contract, about coming home and every time the question was dodged, but it time was running out and she needed an answer.  
   
She put her key in the door pushing the handle down and turning to open the door fully with her back. As she got in, before she could turn around a soccer ball landed in her basket.    
   
She took out her headphones, looking down at the ball, “Come on, guys, I thought we agreed no soccer in the common room.”  
   
“It’s not my fault,” Meghan quickly defended herself.  
   
Christen picked up the ball, “Then who was it?” she turned around to find the culprit.  
   
“Sorry babe.” Tobin responded with a big smile, “But you have to admit, that was a great shot.”  
   
Christen dropped the ball and ran up to her girlfriend throwing her arms around her neck and pulling her in close, “What are you doing here?”  
   
Tobin held her close, she had been waiting for this moment for two weeks, “I came to see you.”  
   
“How long have you been back?” she asked pulling back just enough to see the face she had been longing to see in person.  
   
“I got in a few hours ago, but I just got to the room a few minutes ago.” She said happily.  
   
“And you’re first instinct was to play soccer,” she laughed looking around at her roommates who all had goofy grins on their faces, “No one could text me, let me know my girlfriend was home.”  
   
Allie shrugged, “We thought it’d be better if you were surprised.”  
   
“Yeah babe,” Tobin laughed, “Your face was priceless.”  
   
“Remind me again why I love you so much?” Christen laughed.  
   
Tobin leaned in capturing her lips, finally taking in everything that was Christen Press. When the kiss broke she flashed a huge smile, “That’s why.”  
   
“Good reason,” she smiled back.  
   
“Okay, you two go get a room,” Meghan told them, “Let us get back to our game.” 

“But, I’m two up,” Tobin cried, she felt a tug on her shirt, Christen had hooked her finger inside the collar of her shirt and was pulling Tobin down the hall. She looked back at her friends, “Remember my score.”

 

-

 

Normally, after the afternoon she had, long plane ride, long car ride, and a very long… time with Christen, Tobin would be asleep along with the girl she loved. Christen was knocked out, her head laid on Tobin’s chest, her breathing soft, it had evened out a few hours ago, after they spent hours letting their hands and mouths show how much they missed each other. Normally, Tobin would be so worn out that she would pass out way before Christen, but it was the middle of the night here, which meant it was morning in Scotland, and no matter how much time she spent rolling around in the soft sheets, she just wasn’t tired. 

Christen’s room was different than Tobin imagined it. She had seen most of it during Facetime, but laying in the double bed, looking at a picture of herself in a nice silver frame, and watching the light from cars pulling into the parking lot shine through the window, it was different. The team was lucky, the sports dorms had quad style rooms, four girls in one dorm each with their own bedroom, but shared a bathroom with the room next to them. They had full sized beds, a decent size dresser, desk, night stand, and a closet. Everything in the room was neat, Christen was neat. Before Tobin fell into bed, or more was pushed into bed, it was made up perfectly, three pillows, two in grey pillow cases and one in a bright orange case, no doubt something Christen bought for Tobin. The small pops of the bright color were all for Tobin, her girlfriends way of letting her know she was more than welcomed in the small room, that she should be there, that’s what made everything so hard. 

It had been two weeks, the tryout went better than expected, Tobin fit in with the team like she had always been there. The older girls called her Kid the younger girls called her Yank, and she was starting to love the ability to do whatever she wanted, no one monitoring her. She spent most her days at practice and most her nights in a small pub a couple of blocks down from her apartment, where the team frequented. Soccer was always on the television in the pub, even if it was a team she had never heard of, she drank beer, she talked sports, she had fun, she felt guilty. Scotland was everything she dreamed it would be and more, but she missed her girlfriend, her best friend and her family. There was something inside her that longed for home, to lay in bed ever night with Christen, one of her legs tangled between her own. She longed to talk about soccer with Meghan, to call her parents at a decent hour, to be in America where she knew what was going on. She missed home, for two weeks, she missed everything about home. 

It was the last day, before she was scheduled to fly out, when she sat in the coaches office and was told she was being offered a one year contract, thats when the longing didn’t feel so strong. It was when she was changing in the locker room and the everyone told her they were going to miss her when she was gone, that she didn’t miss home so much. It was when Sam told her to hurry back so they could take a trip to Wales to watch their women’s national team play that she didn’t miss everything as bad. It was that day that she realized that she was home, at least for now, for the next year, this was home. The only thing she needed was Christen.

 

The light from the phone woke Christen from her sleep. She opened her eyes to see Tobin holding her phone above her head, watching a video on silent, laughing to herself. She snuggled closer to the warm body next to her, pressing a kiss into her neck. 

“How long have you been awake?” She asked softly. 

Tobin angled her head down so she could make eye contact, “I never went to sleep.” She looked back up at her phone, “It’s like nine in the morning in Scotland.”

“Babe, you need to sleep.” Christen yawned, reaching her hand up and pushing down the phone Tobin was focused on.

“I will,” she told her, “I just don’t want to mess up my sleep schedule.”

Christen could feel her chest tighten. If Tobin didn’t wan to mess up her schedule that meant she planned on going back, planned on signing the contract, planned on leaving for a year. It wasn’t a shock, after all just two weeks ago she told Tobin to go for it, to sign, to leave, but there was still something inside that hoped the idea of being together, of playing on the same team would pull Tobin back home, but the call for soccer was stronger. 

“So you’re signing,” Christen whispered. 

Tobin turned off her phone, setting it down and taking a breath, “I have to.”

“I know,” she said simply, because she did know, she understood, she would do the same thing, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. “How long are you home for?”

“Eight days here,” Tobin said cheerfully, “Then five in Jersey, then back on the plane.” She shifted enough to look at her girlfriend, make sure she understood everything, “But I’ll be home as much as I can. I’ll fly back during bi-weeks, and for holidays.”

Christen gave a half smile, “I know, you’ll try, and I know we will see each other.” She reached her hand up and cupped her cheek, “And I know I’ll be there for spring break, and any other time I can. I know we will be okay.”

“We’re strong,” Tobin smiled, “We can do this.”

“We can do this.”

The leaned in together sharing a gentle kiss, one that was needed to reassure both of them. It was a promise from Tobin to come home, it was a promise from Christen to be there when she got home. It was them telling each other that they trusted each other, they loved each other, and no matter what happened, how far they were away, they always had each other. 

 

—  
One Year Later  
—

 

Christen pushed Meghans legs off the end of the couch, plopping down, balancing a plate with a slice of pizza in one hand and a drink in the other. They had been sitting around for an hour with a lap top hooked up to the big screen, streaming the NWSL draft online. 

“How’s it going?” Christen asked taking a bite of pizza, trying her hardest not to let cheese drop on her chin. 

“Slow,” Meghan groaned, “They haven’t even started yet.”

Christen watched the screen, the small room was filled with people, representatives from teams sitting at desk in the front, and hopeful players sitting in the back at round tables with their families. It was a few minutes before the start, before they would learn who was going to be the stars of the NWSL in the upcoming season, a few girls from UNC waiting for the call. 

The front door swung open, “Did it start?” Allie asked running into the room and looking at the screen. 

“No, there’s still a few minutes,” Meghan responded, her eyes not leaving her phone.

Allie sat down on the floor leaning against Chrsiten’s legs, taking out her phone to text her boyfriend, “Who has first pick?”

“Utah,” Tierna said walking into the common room, “Then Boston, the North Carolina.”

“Utah is picking up that girl from Standford,” Christen commented, “Kelley told me she already got the call, they are just waiting to announce it.”

Allie let out a loud huff, “I want to be happy for her, but after that tackle the last time we played them, I can’t be happy for her.”

“She’s a beast,” Christen responded remembering the play that almost took her off the pitch for the rest of the season.

“I wanted to murder her,” Allie said giving her best mean face.

Tierna chuckled, “I got your back Alls.”

“We all do,” Meghan laughed, “No one hurts Chrissy.”

“No one,” Allie shouted pumping her fist in the air. 

Christen looked at all her friends, her little family that made this year one of the best she ever had, “Good to know you guys love me so much.”

When the year began, Christen didn’t think she would ever be happy. The night she went to the airport and dropped Tobin off for the second time, she thought she would never get over the sadness, but her friends made everything better. They helped her through the first few months, before Tobin came back for a four day visit. They made up excuses for her to miss two practices so she could fly over and watch Tobin in her semi finals. They came with her during spring break, and spent a week traveling the UK, Tobin’s new friends showing then all the best spots. When she was alone, missing the woman she loved, they were all there, taking her out to parties, making her watch movies, all of them ensuring she wouldn’t have to feel sad for too long. The year was hard, only seeing Tobin for a few weeks, but it was better with them, it was easier with everyone surrounding her with so much love. 

 

The draft started, and just like they all thought Utah took the girl from Stanford, a defender that was faster than a freight train and afraid of absolutely nothing. They all started to discuss the last game they played against the powerful team when Christen’s phone rang. 

“Hey babe,” she said clicking the video button so see Tobin smiling back at her, “Where are you?”

“Airport,” she answered, “I’m waiting on my flight. How’s the draft?”

Christen looked over at the clock not the screen counting down, “Good, pretty much going the way we thought. Boston is on the clock, we think they are going to take Jess Fishlock, she’s been amazing all season over there.”

Tobin nodded, knowing exactly how good the midfielder was having played against her in a friendly, “Yeah she’s killer, faster than hell.”

“There’s a few girls from the team that think they are going to get a call, but maybe not until the fourth or fifth round.” Christen said.

“That’s awesome.”

Before she could answer, the director came on the screen making the announcement that Boston was going with Jess Fishlock for their number one pick. 

“Knew that was going to happen, they’ve been hurting for an attacking mid all year,” Meghan said matter of factly.

“Whose next?” Tobin asked. 

Christen looked down at the phone, “North Carolina, we think they are going for a striker.”

“Why Hamilton is kicking ass out there,” Tobin responded.

Meghan shifted on the couch to see the phone, “She has, but she has no help, I think they need a new midfielder.”

“I mean, that’s what I would choose,” Tobin smiled, “Someone who can get the ball up, make plays.”

“I don’t know, I like their midfield,” Christen disagreed, “I think they need an additional forward, just a little help on the left.”

“Yeah help, maybe from an attacking mid,” Tobin laughed. 

“You always think every team needs an attacking mid,” she chuckled, knowing her girlfriend. 

Tobin shook her head, “So you don’t think they need one?”  
“I think they are fine the way they are.” Christen told her.

The director came back on the screen and everyone started to hush each other making more noise than they were before. 

_“The North Carolina Courage have submitted their pick. Coming from Glasgow City Football Club in Glasgow Scotland, midfielder, Tobin Heath.”_

Christen’s jaw dropped, the words ringing in her ears. The whole room was quiet, no one knowing what to say. Just when Christen was starting to get the feeling in her entire body back, the front door opened. 

“Still think they don’t need and attacking mid?” Tobin smiled.

Christen jumped up and ran over to the door throwing her arms around her girlfriend with so much force it knocked both of them to the ground. Everyone in the room started to scream running over to the two girls and pilling on top of them.

“Easy, easy,” Tobin laughed as everyone attacked her, “Don’t injure me or they might take my contract back.”

Everyone ignored her please for a few more seconds, enough for all of them to get a hug in. Eventually they let her up, and Christen was the only one allowed to hug her. 

“What is going on?” Christen cried, her face buried in Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin hugged her back, “I told you I’d find my way home.”

“You’re home,” she said simply, her mind not able to process what was going on. “I can’t believe you’re home.”

“I’m here,” Tobin told her, “I’m not going back, I’m home.”

 

—  
Three Years Later  
—

 

Tobin sat, her headphones on, the noise of the locker room always a little too much for her right before a game. She watched the rest of the team run around, playing games, laughing, having fun, as the music played in her ears. One of her favorite things to do was to watch the team right before a game, before everyone was focused on one thing, they all seemed to be focused on everything else. She liked to watched them with her headphones on, not listening, just watching, this was how she knew how the team would play, how everyone was doing. 

She closed her eyes for a second as the soft part of the song played, she let the music take her, calm her down. When she opened her eyes a white jersey with a blue number 23 was in front of her. She looked up to see Christen standing above her with a smile, saying something that she couldn’t understand. 

“What’s up babe?” She asked lifting one headphone from her ear.

Christen shook her head, “I asked if you were ready.”

“Yeah,” she smiled up at her, “I’m always ready.”

“Well, let’s go.” 

“On my way, my love.” She lowered the headphone back on her ear and closed her eyes. 

There was no moving Tobin until she was ready, and Christen knew that. This was their first year playing together, but she knew her girlfriend well, and if a good song was on, it was better to let it play out and Tobin would catch up. She placed a quick kiss on Tobin’s forehead and walked over to the mob of girls getting hyped up for the game. 

 

When Tobin opened her eyes, everyone was lined up and walking out the locker room. She took her headphones off, unzipping her bag to put her phone away. She looked down at the small black box, the one she had been carrying with her for over two weeks, the small thing that meant everything.

“Are you asking tonight?” A voice asked behind her. 

Tobin turned to see Kelley standing behind her, “Yeah, after the game, after we win.”

“She’s going to freak,” she smiled. 

“In a good way?” Tobin asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kelley put her arm around her friend, “In the best way, dude. Trust me you got this.”

“I hope so.” She zipped up her bag placing in the locker and headed out the room to catch up with the rest of the team. 

 

Meghan turned around to see Tobin jogging over to the line, a little late as always, “Come on dude, you’re going to miss everything.”

“I wouldn’t miss this.” Tobin laughed, holding out her first for her best friend to bump, “We’ve been waiting our whole lives for this.”

Just then the announcer came over the stadium speakers, calling the team to the field. 

_The United States Womens National Soccer Team_

Tobin looked down the line, Christen had turned around to see her, and smile just before the line moved and they walked out onto to field. Tobin looked around at the crowd, the biggest she had ever seen, the stadium packed, everyone screaming. 

She stood next to her best friend as the National Anthem played, her mind flashing back for just a second to her back yard, to them playing soccer, kicking the ball against the wood fence, thirteen years old, the day they had promised that they would be here one day. She thought about the years, the summer she spent finding herself, the year she spent overseas learning more about the game than she had ever known, the three years on the pitch at Cary Field, all the time she had spent, all the sacrifices she had made, all of it worth it. 

 

As the anthem was over she stood on the sidelines listening to the line ups being announced, drifting in and out of the right now and her memory. 

**Number 13 Alex Morgan**

The first person she loved. The first person the made her feel nervous. The girl who she now thought of as one of her best friends in the whole world, the one she could tell anything, that would be there in a split second if she needed help.

Alex was drafted to the NWSL in the first round, Orlando picking her up as second pick overall. She spent three months making a name for herself before the National Team called her up. She and Sam moved in together the day the graduated college and settled down happily in Orlando. 

They were at a friendly match that both Tobin and Alex got called up for, when Tobin asked Alex’s advice about Christen, about their future, about what she should do. In typical Alex fashion, she gave Tobin the confidence to finally ask.

**Number 3 Samantha Mewis**

It had taken a while for them to get the chance to get to know each other, but now Tobin considered Sam her sister. When the coaches refused to let Tobin share a hotel room with Christen because they never got any sleep, Sam was the one Tobin roomed with. They spent nights awake, talking about the women they loved, discussing their futures.

Sam turned down a chance to be a starter for a Swedish team in her senior year, she waited for the draft in order to sign with Orlando, following Alex. It only took a few games for the national team to take notice of her, and now she was the target for all corner kicks.

She was the one Tobin went to when she was nervous, the girl that was a constant calmness in her life. They sat up one night, Sam going on about Alex’s organizational habits in the house, when Tobin asked about Christen; they spent the next few hours making plans.

**Number 5 Kelley O’Hara**

Someone Tobin never saw her self liking, but in just a year had become one of her best friends. They ended up on the same team when Kelley was drafted to the Thrones and Tobin was traded from the Courage. It was her over the top personality and ability to make everyone laugh that drew Tobin to her, and ever since they had been playing pranks on Christen.

During practice, when Kelley was proving that she could stack ten cones and balance them on her head, Tobin told her about her plans. The next day they went out together and picked out a ring.

**Number 20 Allie Long**

Christen’s best friend, and Tobin’s confidant. The other Harry, the girl that calmed Christen down when Tobin screwed up, and made sure Tobin apologized. Whenever Tobin was in trouble, Allie was the one to take her in, give her somewhere to sleep, and give her advice. 

After deciding to play in college, Allie was quickly noticed by the National Team, getting the call up for the U21 team. She was drafted to the Thorns, refusing to play anywhere that separated her from her two favorite people. 

Christen went to LA to meet with a sponsor, which meant Tobin slept over Allie’s house, as she always did when she didn’t want to be alone. She filled the overly excited blonde in about her plans, and the next day they were on a plane to New Jersey to talk to Christen’s parents, Allie knowing they would be hurt if Tobin didn’t talk to them first. 

**Number 19 Julie Johnston**

The motivator in her life. The one that kept her in soccer after she injured her ankle. The voice in her head that told her to get up and work out. The person that pulled off the couch and got her ready for the national team. 

Julie was picked up by Boston after college but only played a few games before she asked to be traded to Chicago to be closer to the girl she was falling in love with. She was called up to the National Team the same Tobin was, and she was the sole reason Tobin recovered from injury, the only reason she made it.

It was after a long run, Tobin explained what her plan was, and Julie made the suggestion to ask on a special day.

**Number 18 Ashlyn Harris. Number 11 Ali Krieger**

The relationship that Tobin model herself after. She learned how to treat a girl from the way Ashlyn treated Ali. She learned when she was dead wrong about something by what Ali told her. To Tobin they were exactly who she wanted to be and she worked hard to follow in her mentors’ footsteps. 

A year after they returned to Europe, they came back to the states to play for Orlando, the team needing a new keeper and their backline desperate for help. They were both called up for the national team a few months later. Ali was the voice of the backline, her experience showing each game leading the younger players with Ashlyn being the calming presents in the goal.

Tobin went to them both about Christen, about what she needed to do. Ashlyn gave her advice, letting her know to get down on one knee when she asked. Ali gave her advice about everything else, telling her to be calm, that she would know exactly what to do. 

**Number 1 Hope Solo**

The rock of the group. The one that kept them all together when they were spread out all over the world. The house they all went to when they needed to be together. The reason they were all family. 

During her college years Hopes keeper skills grew winning her the golden glove two years in a row. Seattle drafted her number one overall. She was called up to back up her mentor on the National team and after a year she was the number one female keeper in the world.

Tobin was taking practice shots, worried about what she was about to do and of course Hope picked up on it, asking her younger friend what was going on. Tobin asked if she thought Christen was ready, and gave her a slap on the shoulder and said ‘she’s been waiting three years.’

**Number 9 Lindsey Horan**

The girl that got her through her first year away. The one she could call to keep her company, to take her mind off the sadness. Now, the one she calls when she wants to hang. Her neighbor, teammate, and one of her best friends.

After two years in France, Lindsay finally came home, North Carolina needing another midfielder to keep up with Tobin. They shared an apartment for a year, before Christen moved in and Lindsay was traded to Portland a year before Tobin. They were called up to the national team together, the dream midfield, becoming an unstoppable force. 

Before Tobin even had the idea, Lindsey had been suggesting it. She was the one to call Tobin a fool every time she screwed up anything with Christen, telling her to seal the deal before Christen wised up.

**Number 14 Morgan Brian**

Her soon to be ‘sister-in-law’, once Meghan finally got it together. They talked more than Tobin ever thought they would, both of them sharing the same favorite person. Tobin was the one to help her, give her advice about her best friend, making sure Meghan never messed up so bad that Morgan gave up. They texted almost everyday, talking most weekends, a friendship that quickly grew, both of them considering each other family.

Morgan was injured her senior year, a hamstring issue that almost kept her from playing. She was finally put in the last few games, helping her team seal a spot in the playoffs. It was enough to get her noticed, being drafted by Houston, and after she was fully healed, getting the call for the national team.

They sat up the night before, Morgan trying to help her find the words to say to Christen. As always she spent the whole night laughing at Tobin’s lame jokes, and making sure she took it seriously. The still very southern girl was the only reason Tobin’s heart wasn’t going to beat straight out of her chest.

**Number 7 Meghan Klingenberg**

Her best friend. The only person in the world she trusted to let her know that she was ready. The only person she trusted with every single one of her secrets. The person that knew her best, that had her back, that loved her so fiercely she was never afraid of it fading. Her sister. Her family.

Not surprisingly she followed Morgan to Houston, refusing to live without her after four years apart. As much as Tobin wished she would have gone to Portland, played together like they had planned their whole lives, she new Meghan needed to go to Texas, to be with the woman she loved. She wasn’t afraid, she would never loose Meghan, and she knew they would play together again, and a year later Tobin’s phone rang with her best friend on the other end screaming about getting called up, and all was right in the world again. 

She got advice from all her friends. She asked everyone she knew if they thought Christen was ready, but it was Meghan that had the real answer, she was the only who could help Tobin figure out if she was even ready to ask. Meghan, the one who had been there for her since they were so little they couldn’t even remember, she was the only one who knew if Tobin was ready for such a big step. 

**Number 23 Christen Press**

The woman she loved. The person she wanted to spend her life with. She was able to move out the dorms her junior year and she officially moved into Tobin’s apartment, even though she basically lived their for over a year. After years of hard work Christen was drafted to Portland after Tobin was traded, knowing they couldn’t live without each other. It only took a few months for her to be recognized as one of the best strikers in the league earning her a spot on the national team.

Christen was the most important person in Tobin’s life. She was the one the held her at night after the injured her ankle, she was the one to always show Tobin the bright side when she was so down she had no idea how to get up. She was the smile that brighten her life, she was the heartbeat of her world, she was the love of her life. And after the game Tobin was going to propose.

**Number 17 Tobin Heath**

She snapped out of there thoughts and listened to the crowd chant her name. She had been called up all year and the fans were getting to know her. There were people in the stands with her jersey, little girls holding up signs with her name on it. She never expected this, not this early, but she made an impact on the team, assisted in the two goals that lead them to win the CONCACAF, got them to this moment.

She ran out on the field, taking her spot, looking over to her friends, to her family, remembering all the moments that got them there. The whistle blew, and the championship game of the Olympics was finally starting. 

 

—  
20 Years later  
—

 

Tobin gripped the steering wheel, looking ahead at the road that she had driven down for the first half of her life, the first road she learned how to drive on, the one that went from her childhood home to the park she grew up playing in. The neighborhood had changed a lot, the road that once had trees surrounding it now had houses peppered down it, new construction for the families moving in, more kids headed towards the number one soccer school in the country. She looked over to the woman she married, those eyes looking more green then grey in the light, just as they did almost twenty five years ago, only now they had small crease on the sides, showing her age, the time they spent together. She looked in the rear view mirror to a worried face, a pair of grey eyes looking out the window watching the scene go by.  
   
“Hey,” she called out loud enough to get the attention of the worried girl, “Ca va?”  
   
“Ca va,” she responded in her soft voice.  
   
A hand reached out grabbing Tobin’s knee, she looked over to her wife and smiled. Christen was letting her know to let the anxious girl be, and she was right. Tobin understood worry, she understood being nervous, and if this was her she would want to be left to her own thoughts. She looked forward, glancing into the rear view mirror every few minutes to make sure the girl was truly okay.  
   
They pulled into the parking lot facing the fields, they could see everyone down in the park running around. Stands had been added over the years, the park being sectioned off to become three full soccer fields and a small space for families to have picnics. It may have changed since the last time Tobin stepped foot on the grass, but it was still her park. She looked into the rear view mirror, there wasn’t any movement from the back seat, maybe she was more nervous than Tobin thought. She opened her mouth to check when a small voice called out.  
   
 “I have to pee.”  
   
Tobin looked over to the pair to big green eyes with a smile that matched the woman she loved. The little boy made eye contact and laughed making Tobin smile. “Okay buddy. Je t'ai eu.”  
   
She stepped out the car taking a second to breathe in the park air before moving to the side of the car and opening the door to the little boy holding his arms out wide.  
   
“Rapide, mama,” he called out with a big smile.  
   
Tobin reached down and unbuckled his booster seat, “Prêt?”  
   
“Oui,” he called out happily.  
   
She looked to the front of the car, Christen was still sitting in the passenger’s seat, no doubt waiting to talk to the worried girl on the other side of the back seat. She looked to the third row at the boy whose face was buried in a book.  
   
“Tu veux venir avec nous?” she called out to him, trying to get his attention.  
_(Do you want to come with us?)_  
   
He looked up at her, looking so much like Christen is was crazy, “Oui.”  
   
Christen watched her wife and two sons get out of the car and walk across the parking lot to the bathroom, she was left in the car waiting for the girl to speak first.  
   
“¿Crees que soy raro?” the young girl asked.  
_(Do you think I’m weird?)_  
   
Christen turned to see her. She had the same look on her face Tobin wore most of the time, the same tan skin from running around outside all day, the same dark brown hair with hints of golden brown throughout, and when she was happy, she had the same bright smile. Right now she was worried, and her eyes, the only thing that didn’t match her mothers, were dark and looking down at the field. This was her first time in the park, having been taken out of the only country she knew and brought to Tobin’s home town.  
   
“No Ari, eres increíble.” She said in the same tone of voice she had been using on Tobin for so long. “¿Eso es lo que te preocupa?”  
_(Is that what you are worried about?)_  
   
She shifted in her seat, looking down for a few seconds, the same mannerism her mom had. “Extraño Francia.”  
_(I miss France)_  
   
A few years after their first born, the girl sitting anxiously in the back of the car, Tobin got an offer to play for PSG. Christen wanted to stay home with their little girl for a little while longer, so they agreed to move to France. Over the next few years they had a son, this one biologically Christen’s, they named him Preston Jeffery to represent both families, they lovingly referred to him as PJ. After an injury Tobin got an offer to coach a local team in France until she healed up, so they stayed in country, having their second son, also Christen’s, they named Cody Powell after her father, and for Tobin. After playing one more year for the National Team Christen retired, leaving all the soccer to Tobin who played three more years in France before finally hanging up her cleats. After a year of coaching, she was offered a job in New Jersey, and even though it meant uprooting the family, The Heaths finally moved back home.  
   
“Que va a estar bien.” She told her daughter, “Ellos te amarán.”  
_(“It’s going to be okay.”… “You’re amazing.”)_  
   
She looked up at her mother, unable to keep the smile from her face, “¿Promesa?”  
   
“Si,” Christen smiled, “Promeso.”  
   
They got out the car, the young girl grabbing her bag from the trunk and walking up to her mother. She looked up at her and smiled, she was finally ready.  
   
Over the years the group from the park had all moved back to New Jersey, to the town they all once called home. Everyone had kids around the same time, making the soccer teams the best in the country which attracted more parents and more players. Now the little town was the youth soccer capitol of the United States, with a camp that got teen players ready to play for the youth national teams, a camp the Tobin was here to run.  
   
Together, just as Christen had done years before with Tobin, she walked down to the park with her daughter, the scene a lot different than the days the huge park was just them on an unmarked field. They headed for the bleachers where a familiar voice called out.  
   
“Chrissy,” Alex jumped up from her seat on the second row and went down to her friend. “I’ve missed you.”  
   
“Lex, I’ve missed you too.” Christen called out, happy to see the girl after ten years living in different countries. No matter how many times they saw each other on the national team, it wasn’t the same as living down the street.  
   
Alex looked at the girl hiding a little behind her mother, “Hey, there is no way you’re Arianna. The last time I saw you, you were tripping over the ball.”  
   
“That’s not her anymore,” Christen said putting her arm around her daughter.

Nervously, she flashed a half smile, “I’ve grown.”

“I can see that,” Alex chuckled.  
   
“I’m going to the field,” Arianna said, still with a worried look on her face, “It was nice to see you again Mrs. Mewis.”  
   
“Yeah you too,” Alex watched the girl run out onto the field, “So did you guys just clone Tobin?”  
   
“Pretty much,” Christen chuckled, watching her daughter find a ball and start juggling with her feet, “We just changed her eye color so no one would catch on.”  
   
“She looks so much like her, I thought I was back in high school,” Alex laughed.  
   
Christen took a seat next to her friend, “Sometimes it feels like it. She has Tobin’s personality, all the anxiety and worry, and all the pranks Tobin used to play. She’s so much like her, she’s magic on the ball.”  
   
“She got the good genes,” Tobin said with a huge smile.  
   
Alex jumped up and hugged her friend, “I’ve missed you.”  
   
“I’ve missed you too Lex, sorry it took so long for us to come home.” Tobin smiled.  
   
“It’s okay, you’re home now.” She reassured her. “Is that PJ?”  
   
Tobin looked out to her son running towards the second field where the ten year old boys were all starting to kick around. “Yeah, he’s big now, plays striker just like his mom.”  
   
Alex looked over to the woman in the stands, “He looks so much like you.”  
   
“Lucky him,” Tobin laughed, “And then there’s this little guy.” She lifted her youngest son onto the first row of the bleachers. “Say hello, buddy.”  
   
“Salut,” he said in his tiny voice, “Je suis Cody!”  
   
Tobin lowered her head down to meet his ear, “En Anglais fiston.”  
   
The little boy flashed a smile, “I’m Cody.” He repeated.  
   
“It’s nice to meet you Cody,” Alex replied happily.  
   
The little boy wiggled out of Tobin’s arms and climbed up the next step to Christen “¿Puedo jugar fútbol?”  
   
“Si, mi amore, cuidado.” She replied tussling his thick black curls.  
   
He jumped down the bleachers, Tobin holding out her arm making sure he didn’t fall. He grabbed the soccer ball, throwing it out in front of him and chasing it so he could kick it, the ball only going a few feet in front of him.  
   
“Reste près, fiston.” Tobin called out as he moved further down the front of the bleachers.  
   
Alex looked at her two friends, “So let me get this straight, they speak French and Spanish?”  
   
Tobin laughed, a question they got all the time. “Yeah, they all speak French to me when they are talking directly to me, and Spanish when they are talking to Chris. When they talk to both of us they speak English.”  
   
“What do they speak when they talk to each other?” Alex asked.  
   
“It switches between all three,” Christen replied, “With PJ and Cody it tends to be French more than anything because that’s what they’ve always known, but Ari speaks more Spanish and English.”  
   
“Damn, I should have done that with mine.” Alex laughed. “Speaking of…”  
   
A girl came up to the bleachers setting her bag down in front. She looked up, “Hey, has it started yet?”  
   
“No,” Alex replied. “Don’t be in such a hurry, say hello to my friends.”  
   
They girl looked between the two new faces, “Christen and Tobin Heath.”  
   
Tobin, still amazed how much the girl looked like Alex, had to blink for a second before answering, “Yup, you must be Morgan?”  
   
“Yeah, everyone calls me M.” she said with a smile, “You two were amazing on the National Team.”  
   
“Thank you,” Tobin said happily, “Your moms had a lot to do with it.”  
   
“True,” she said simply, reminding Tobin of a young Alex. She looked up at her mom, “I’m going to the field to warm up, ma took Nick to the other field, she said she’ll be over here once he’s settled.”  
   
Alex nodded, knowing her son had practice at the same time, “Okay sweetheart.”  
   
“It was nice to meet you guys,” she told the two older women, before taking off to the field as fast as Alex was when she was her age.  
   
Christen turned to her friend, “And you said Ari is Tobin’s clone? How is that girl not your clone?”  
   
Alex started to laugh. Her oldest daughter looked exactly like her, down to the blue in her eyes. “What can I say, all my features are dominate. Nick is pretty much the boy version of Sam.”  
   
“Damn, can we have kids that don’t look like carbon copies of us?” Tobin joked.  
   
“Oh wait until you see the crew, you’re going to think you’re back in 2017 playing pick-up games in the park.” Alex laughed.  
   
   
   
\--  
 

 

Arianna juggled the ball at her feet, kicking a few inches in the air before catching it and launching it again. She could hear the group of girls a few yards away from her, all of them laughing about something. She wanted to go over there, talk to them, but her nerves got the best of her, keeping her alone on the field focusing on the ball.  
   
“Hey,” someone said.  
   
She turned around to see a shorter girl looking up at her, “Hello.”  
   
“You’re Arianna Heath, right?” she asked with a happily look, she waited for the girl to say something, but when she just nodded the young girl took that as a clue that maybe she wasn’t much of a talker, “I’m Jessie Klingenberg, everyone calls me Jess.”  
   
“Hi,” Arianna replied in a low voice, “I’m Ari.”  
   
Jessie walked closer to her, “Our moms are best friends, they use to play together when they were our age.” She waited for a response, but none came, “We use to hang out when we were really little, before your family moved to France. You probably don’t remember because I don’t remember, but my mom does and she says we were friends. Are you a middy?”  
   
Arianna looked down at the ball, “Yeah.”  
   
“Cool, I’m a defender,” Jessie said reaching her foot over to kick the ball, “My mama is a midfielder, she played with your moms too.” She rolled the ball and backed up a few feet before kicking it to the shy girl on the field.  
   
Nervously, Arianna stopped the ball and looked up at the girl a few yards in front of her, “Klingenberg, they played for Houston?”  
   
“Yeah,” Jessie cheered, “Now mom is a coach for the high school, and mama is a teacher. But your mom, Tobin, she’s going to be the director of the camp? That’s awesome, she’s amazing. Do you play like her?”  
   
She shrugged sending the ball back to the girl, “My mom says I do, but I don’t know.”  
   
“I bet you do.” She smiled passing the ball again, “I saw a picture of my mom and your mom when they were our age, you look like her. Mama says I look like mom, she says I’m just like her, which is good because your mom and my mom hung out all the time, so maybe you and I can hang out.”  
   
Arianna, stopped the ball with her foot and looked up at the girl, “You want to be my friend?”  
   
“Of course,” Jessie laughed, “Why not? My best friend is Henry Horan, he plays for the boys team and he lives next door, but your moms bought the house behind us, right? Our backyards connect, so we can hang out all the time. It’ll be awesome.”  
   
She watched the girl juggle the ball a few times before passing. “Cool.”  
   
“Cool,” she smiled, “So who’s your favorite team?”

 

   
The coach called out for all the girls to huddle up, it was time to officially start practice. Arianna stayed in the back of the circle hoping to get lost in the crowd, hoping no one noticed the new girl looking nervous, hoping to just play soccer. Much to her dismay the coach called her out.  
   
“So we have a new player, coming all the way from France,” he looked around to find Arianna standing, “Come to the center and introduce yourself.”  
   
This was her worst nightmare, but it was bound to happen at some point, either here or at school, every adult wanted you to introduce yourself for some reason.  
   
“I’m Ari Heath,” she looked down at the grass not wanting to make eye contact with anyone, “I’m was born in Portland but I grew up in Beauvais, France.”  
   
“You don’t sound French,” a girl with long bleach blonde hair called out.  
   
“Johnston, hush.” The coach sculled.  
   
She could feel her heart start to race, something inside her told her to stop talking, but another voice told her to speak up, “J'ai grandi en parlant anglais, je parle probablement mieux que vous. Je peux parler français si vous préférez. Si ça me rend plus français. Est-ce mieux?” _(I grew up speaking English, I probably speak it better than you. I can speak French if you prefer. If it makes me sound more French. Is this better?)_  
   
The girl who spoke up looked around at the other who were snickering, “Okay, so you’re French.” She laughed.  
   
Arianna flashed her a quick smile her confidence coming up, “I’m a midfielder, left mid.” She looked up at the coach, “Anything else?”  
   
He shook his head giving her a knowing smile, “Nope, that’s it.”  
   
She moved back to her spot in the back, Jessie elbowed her in the side.  
   
“Nice one,” the shorter girl grinned.  
   
“Thanks,” she smiled back.  
   
   
The coach was a student from the high school assisting the real coach, earning credit towards the camp. He was tall with medium length dark hair that tied up in a bun. Arianna had met him once, when her mom’s took her to sign up for the camp, he introduced himself as Coach Harris and he seemed kind. They started basic warm up drills, then spilt them off into groups to work on individual positions. Arianna was about to go over with the other midfielders, when the coach called her over.  
   
“Ari, I want you to work with one of our forwards,” he told her, trying his hardest to sound like an authority in his youth, “She’s fast, really fast, but I hear you have perfect aim, you might be the only one that can keep up with her. Most of the players either undershoot her run, or the over compensate and overshoot her.” He turned to the group of girls in a small huddle, “M, come over here.”  
   
One of the girls turned around, her dark brown hair following as she spun on her heels. She looked over to the coach and flashed one of the brightest smiles Arianna had ever seen in her life. She ran over to them, her legs were long and lean, and Arianna could tell why she was so fast.  
   
“Hey coach,” she said happily, “What’s up?”  
   
“I think we have found you a midfielder,” he told her looking over to Arianna.  
   
Morgan looked over to the girl standing nervously in front of her, this was the first time she found herself speechless. How in the world could eyes be that color, they looked like a snow storm? She put her hands on her hips taking a deep breath, letting her brain reset. Normally she would just talk, say whatever, probably talk about how great she was, bragging about herself the thing she did when she was nervous and wanted someone to like her, but that smile, it was perfectly white and made her stomach do back flips. 

There was something about her, the way her light brown hair, that almost looked like she had gold streaks through it, the way her cheeks were a little pink even though she had perfectly sun kissed skin. There was something about this girl that stopped her from bragging, stopped her from doing what she normally did, because somehow she knew her normal wouldn’t work for this girl, somehow she knew this girl was special.

She tried to say something, she even opened her mouth, but nothing came out. 

“Hey,” Arianna said, needing to say something in the awkward silence, anything to stop her heart from pounding in her chest.

“I want you two to go the far end of the field and work on runs,” the coach told them. He turned to Morgan, “Don’t slow down for her, I need to see if she can time your run.”

Morgan was able to turn away from the girl in front of her enough to let her coach know she understood. They started down the field together. 

“Coach says you’re so fast most midfielders overshoot you,” Arianna said, trying to not be awkward. 

“Uh, yeah,” she replied finally snapping fully out of her trance, “I’m fast.”

Arianna chuckled, “Well, hopefully I can keep up.”

She turned to look at her, “I hope so.”

A rush moved through Arianna’s body stopping her in her tracks and forcing her to just watch the girl run across the field. She had no idea what was going on, she wasn’t great with people, most of the time she was too nervous to really talk to someone new, but there was something about the blue eyed girl. Somehow, she felt nervous but comfortable at the same time, like maybe they had met before, or like they had known each other for a long time, yet still needed to get to know each other. Getting to know people freaked her out, but the pull to get to know this girl made her feel safe and excited, like she couldn’t wait for the next minute.

They moved to opposite sides of the field, Morgan set a few yards ahead on the right, Arianna behind on the left, the ball at her feet, ready to see how fast this girl truly was. She had played with a lot of fast strikers before and she always got the run down perfect. 

Morgan looked behind, watching the girl toe at the ball, “You ready?”

“Yeah, whenever you are,” she called back.

With that Arianna watched her run down the field in what seemed like a flash. It only took her a second to get her mind together, she kicked the ball in front of her a few times before launching it perfectly in the path of the speeding girl. 

Two touches to settle and Morgan launched the ball into the net. She spun around and ran towards Arianna who was still standing shocked by the whole thing. 

“That was the first pass I’ve ever received without having to work,” Morgan said, her smile so big it was hurting her cheeks. 

“I’m a middy, my job is to make sure you don’t overwork yourself,” she laughed, “Do you want to do it again?”

“Hell yeah!”

The took ten shots, each one letting Arianna dial into the speed of one of the fastest players she had ever been around. It was the eleventh shot that sealed the deal, watching Morgan land the ball in the top left corner after taking only one touch to settle the arching pass, that’s all she needed to be sure that she didn’t want to ever play with anyone else. 

Morgan ran up to her, out of breath from the long runs, “Damn, you’re freaking phenomenal!”

“Thanks, you make it easy.” She smiled. 

“You’re the first person to ever say that,” she started to chuckle, “I normally have to slow down.”

“Not anymore,” she looked into her eyes, “Now all you have to do is get down there and I’ll make sure the ball gets to you.”

Before they had to chance to really talk the whole team was gathered around them. Everyone had something to say about the plays they had watched. It only took eleven shots for the group of girls to realize who Arianna Heath was and what she brought to the team. That’s all it took for her to have friends. 

 

As practice ended Arianna was changing out of her cleats sitting with Jessie. “So do you wanna maybe hangout this weekend?”

“Uh duh,” Jessie laughed, “You and I are friends now, we can hangout every weekend.”

“Really?” 

Jessie looked at her, “Dude, we are going to be best friends, wait until you meet Henry, you guys are going to hit it off, and we will all be best friends. If you want, you can come over my house and practice. The back yard is practically half a field, and I have a regulation sized goal.”

“Sounds awesome,” she shoved her cleats into her bag and stood up, “I can’t wait.”

“Hey Ari,” a familiar voice called out. 

She turned around to see her new favorite player, “Hey what’s up?”

Morgan adjusted the bag on her shoulder, shifting in her stance a little, “So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to practice this weekend? We should probably work one on one, you know really dial in all the passes, maybe work on set pieces.”

“Sure,” she smiled bigger than she ever had, “But I agreed to hang with Jessie this weekend…”

“I live down the street,” she interrupted her, “I work with her older brother Brain all the time, he’s a keeper for the high school boys team.”

“Oh that’s awesome, it’d be good to go against a keeper.” 

“So…” she shifted in her stance again, looking down, “That’s a yes.”

“Yeah,” she responded casually.

“Awesome, I’ll talk to her,” the nervous girl responded quickly, “I’ll see you this weekend.”

 

—

 

Tobin buckled her youngest son into his booster seat, the boy all tuckered out from kicking the ball around for over an hour. She watched the exchange between her daughter and the girl that reminded her so much of Alex. 

“Hey, how was practice,” she asked her daughter as she threw her bag in the trunk.

Arianna looked up at her mother, “It was good. Jess wants to know if can hang out this weekend.”

“Jessie Klingenberg?” Tobin looked up to her wife with wide eyes, “Yeah, of course you can hang out this weekend.” She wiggled her eyebrows at her wife, knowing what this meant, the two girls were going to be best friends just like she was with Meghan. 

They got in the car and started their drive to their new home. PJ filled in his parents on his practice while Arianna looked down at her phone. They were driving down their new street when Tobin couldn’t help it any longer she had to know.

“I saw you practicing with Morgan Mewis,” She said trying not to sound too obvious, “How was that?”

Arianna looked up for the first time since the car started moving, “It was good, she’s faster than hell.”

“Don’t say hell,” Christen said softly. 

“Sorry,” she laughed. “Yeah she’s going to hang out with Jess and I this weekend. She’s pretty…” her eyes got big and a smile came across her face, the same look she shared with her mother. “She’s amazing.”

They pulled into the parking lot of the house, the kids instantly jumping out of the car, PJ letting his little brother out his booster seat as Arianna ignored her little brothers and headed right for the door, her head still down, looking at her phone. 

Christen wrapped her arm around Tobin’s waist, “What is it with you Heath women and those Morgan girls?”

“I don’t know,” Tobin chuckled. “But you have to admit, they make a damn good team.”

“They do,” she laughed looking up at her children waiting for them to open the door to their new house. “I guess we are home.”

Tobin put her arm around her wife’s shoulders leaning in to kiss her, “Finally home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. The story of Tobin Heath and Christen Press. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you so much for sticking with me, I appreciate it more than you know. 
> 
> If you want to read the end of Tobin and Alex's story go on ahead to the very last chapter the series.


	36. This is Us (Alex)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex takes off for California and Tobin is desperate to keep in contact with her. We learn about the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter. The end of the story. I hope you all enjoy the read.
> 
> Stick with me in the middle, I promise everything gets better.
> 
> As always ignore those crazy typos.

“Are you watching me sleep?” Alex asked, her eyes still closed. 

Tobin shook her head, “Nope.”

She smiled, her eyes still closed, “Yes you are.”

“How would you know, you’re eyes are closed.” Tobin smirked.

“Because I can feel your eyes on me,” she opened her eyes to see her girlfriend staring back, her hair messy around her head, her face as bright as ever; how the hell Tobin Heath looked this damn good in the morning being hungover, that was a mystery. “You’re pretty.”

The smile Tobin was wearing got even bigger, “You’re pretty.”

“We’re both pretty,” Alex flipped over in bed and grabbed her phone from the nightstand looking at the time, “Tobs it’s eight in the morning, what are you doing awake?”

“You leave in less than six hours,” she protested.

Alex laid her phone down and closed her eyes, “That means we can sleep for like three hours.”

“No, no, wake up,” Tobin said.

“Why babe,” she cried, “Sleep is good, sleep is fun. People die from lack of sleep. Is that what you want?”

Alex was one of the whiniest people in the world when it came to sleep, something Tobin was getting use to, something she knew how to combat. She reached over for Alex’s phone, setting an alarm for an hour and set it back down on the bed, looking over to her girlfriend and smiling. 

“You have an hour then we have to get out of here,” she said as seriously as she could. “You can spend that time sleeping, or…”

All it took was a raised eyebrow and a slight lick of her lips and Alex was a goner. She reached over grabbing a handful of Tobin’s shirt and pulling the girl on top of her. She didn’t need sleep, she needed Tobin and there was nothing that could keep her from getting everything she needed in that hour. 

 

By the time they were done, dressed, bags pack and finally done making out every few minuets, it had been over an hour, and Tobin was ready to drag Alex out the room. As much as she would have given anything to stay locked in that room with her girlfriend, Tobin promised Alex’s father that she would have her back in plenty of time to get to the airport, it was the deal she made in order to go to the party, to hang out with their friends, and she wasn’t about to make him angry, not after the speech at the barbecue, not after hearing him call her family. 

Alex huffed the entire time down the hall and stairs, she followed Tobin, holding onto her hand letting herself be dragged the whole way. She was ready to go, she was ready to be in California, in college, but she wasn’t ready to leave the girl in front of her. She wasn’t ready for living without Tobin, for not waking up with her, to not falling asleep with her. She was ready to leave New Jersey but she wasn’t ready to leave Tobin. 

As they reached the front door, Alex looked out into the house, beer cans were everywhere, people she didn’t know were scattered around all passed out in weird positions. She looked over to Tobin who had the most loving look on her face, and just out the window was group of girls all standing around cars, laughing about something, all of them waiting on her. 

“You ready?” Tobin asked, her eyes bright, her smile as perfect as ever. 

Alex nodded, it was the only thing she really could do, “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

The group all piled into cars and drove to a coffee shop for something to eat and as much coffee as they all could consume. They all stood outside, leaning against cars, enjoying the cool breeze that was now officially blowing as the New Jersey summer was coming to an end. Alex leaned against Tobin, never breaking contact with her, Tobin happily wrapped her arm around the girl she loved. 

As the group talked, sharing stories about the summer, about each other, Tobin realized something. There she was, outside a coffee shop with nine other girls, one of them telling a story of Tobin dancing and taking bets on who could beat her in a dance off. As she stood there, her best friend on her left, sitting on the hood of a car, her girlfriend standing beside her, leaning up for a kiss whenever someone made a joke about the shorter girl. Tobin was standing there with her girlfriend, the girl she had loved since grade school, the girl she never thought she would even have a chance to talk to let alone wake up next to. She was with a group of girls that she didn’t just know, she didn’t just consider her friends, but a group that she considered her family. 

This summer, she had gone through so much, lost a piece of herself that she had been hanging onto for dear life. She lost that secret that almost defined her, that feeling in the put of her stomach that made her hate herself, that made her so uncomfortable with everything that she was it consumed her. She lost her fear, she lost her anxiety that told her she wasn’t good enough, she lost it and there was no way for her to ever find it again. She was a new person, brand new, something she would recognize in a million years. She was no longer Tobin Heath, afraid, needing a soccer ball at her feet so keep others away, she no longer needed her best friend to speak for her, she no longer needed the wall she spent years building. She was here, she was open, she was talking, she was happy and in love and felt safer than she had ever felt. This summer changed her, and right then, watching all her friends laugh, she knew she would never change back, this was who she was now and she loved herself. 

 

—

 

The drive to the airport was shorter than Tobin wanted, she sat in the back of the SUV, holding onto Alex’s hand, listening to her mom complain about traffic. She would listen to anyone complain about city traffic if it meant she could continue to hold Alex’s hand. They shared looks, Alex rolling her eyes a few times, but mostly just looking over letting Tobin know silently that she loved her. Most of the rise Tobin looked out the window, in less than thirty hours she would be making this exact trip for her own new journey, for some reason she wanted to memorize it. She counted signs as they passed, trying to commit them to memory as if she could predict how fast her own car ride would be if she knew exactly how much time passed between an exit sign and a rest stop. It was something to do, something to keep her mind off the fact that she would be without Alex for a year. 

They parked in the short term parking spot, Alex’s mom complaining about the cost of parking. They grabbed the two big bags that Alex packed for herself and her dads small duffle bag that he would take to drop her off in California and stay for a few days until she was settled. Her sisters grabbed the bags and rolled them through the parking lot freeing Alex’s hand to once again lace into Tobin’s. 

They all stood waiting in the ticket line as Alex and her dad got their plane tickets. They all watched as her bags were checked, leaving her with only a bright orange backpack that she stole from Tobin a few days ago and refused to give back, but Tobin didn’t mind. The group made their way to the security line, and stopped looking around at each other, waiting for someone to say something. 

Her sisters went first, giving sisterly advice agreeing to all FaceTime at least once every two weeks so they wouldn’t feel so separated. They hugged for a long time, all of them claiming they couldn’t cry because of their makeup, but still tears flowed down their cheeks and they tried to wipe them away before the others saw. 

Then it was her mother, who made a big deal about Alex not taking a regular carryon, about how Alex insisted on the dirty old back pack and how she would more than likely regret not taking a roller suit case. Still Alex hugged her mom, told her how much she loved her and that she would miss her. Her mom repeated everything that Alex said and that was it for them. 

Right when the awkwardness was over Morgan and Meghan arrived at the airport, tears falling down the southern girls cheeks. 

“You can’t leave,” Morgan sobbed. “What am I going to do without you?”

“Kick ass in Virginia,” Alex said with a little chuckle, something to mask her sadness. 

Morgan threw her arms around her best friend, “Call me everyday, and text me all the time. Don’t you dare make a new best friend or I will freak out on you.”

“Same,” Alex cried hugging her back as tight as she could, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she said in a muffled voice, her face buried in Alex’s shoulder, “So, so much.”

They hugged for a bit longer before finally letting go and Morgan turning to Meghan for comfort. 

Alex walked over to the shorter girl a look of worry on her face, “I’m glad we finally got to know each other.”

Meghan nodded, holding her arm out for the best hug she could give with Morgan holding onto her. “We’ll see you in a few months.”

She looked over to Tobin who had been quiet this whole time, “Take care of my girl.”

“I always do,” she smiled.

Finally, it was Tobin’s turn. She stood with her hands in her pockets, her lips pressed together, her head down enough to not make eye contact. 

“Babe,” Alex whispered as she walked up to her, “Look up at me.”

“Nope,” Tobin said in a low voice, “If I look then I’ll cry.”

Alex cupped her cheek pulling her face up, “Don’t cry.”

“You’re crying,” Tobin pointed out the tears in Alex’s eyes. “Why can’t I cry.”

“Because you’ll make it worse for me,” Alex chuckled a little, “Be strong.”

Tobin shook her head, “I don’t want to.”

“I know love,” She got closer, putting her arms around her neck and pulling her in, “We have to be strong, together.”

“I don’t know what to do without you,” she finally said through tears. 

Alex hugged her closer, “We can do this. We are Tobin and Alex, we can do anything. We just have to be strong.”

She was right, and Tobin knew it, and in a few days she would believe it, but right now, she couldn’t, but she couldn’t let Alex go like this so she hugged her tighter, then pulled away enough to kiss her. 

“I love you,” Tobin sniffled, trying to look into those blue eyes even though her vision was blurry.

Alex leaned in to kiss her one more time, “I love you too.” She said against her lips then pulled away fast, knowing if she stayed any longer she would stay forever.

 

They all stood around and watched her go through the security line until she was so far away that all the could see was the bright orange backpack moving away from them. When the color was too far off, blended into the crowd, Meghan wrapped her arm around her best friends shoulder and pulled her out the airport where she could cry without all the strangers watching her. 

 

—

 

“So when is your flight?” Perry asked over the phone. 

Tobin held her phone closer to her face, “In a few hours, we are about to head out now.”

“Okay, we’ll head out too,” she reassured her little sister, “Mom wants to come.”

“No,” Tobin said quickly, “I just can’t deal with it right now. I was freaking out all yesterday after Alex left and I just can’t handle her right now.”

“I figured,” she said simply, “It’ll just be us then.”

“Thanks Perry,” she sighed, “I’ll talk to her when I come back for winter break.”

“Talk to her when you are ready little sis, just don’t let it go for too long.”

“I won’t,” She looked up to see Meghan tapping on her wrist like she had on a watch, “Hey I gotta go, but I’ll see you in a bit, love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

They had been packed up for this trip for a few days, but they had been ready for it all their lives. Today was the first day of them fulfilling their dreams, today was the first day of them truly being adults. The drive was long, a lot longer than the other day, it didn’t matter how many exit signs she had memorized it was still long and Tobin felt like she was jumping out of her seat. 

Tobin practically flew out the car when they finally parked and Christen was standing in the parking lot with her family, she looked up at them and waved. 

“Hey, took you guys long enough,” she laughed. 

“We got stuck behind a school bus,” Meghan told her, “My dad doesn’t like to pass them on the highway, he’s strange.”

They all crossed the street, going through the routine of getting their tickets and checking their bags, then it was the goodbyes. Christen turned to her family and they all started their goodbyes, same for Meghan and her family. Tobin looked around, her family was supposed to be here. Right when she was going to give up, thinking maybe her mom had stopped them from coming, her father and siblings where rushing into the building. 

“Parking is a nightmare,” Katie laughed running up to her little sister and hugging her.

Tobin hugged her back, “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

“We’d never miss this little sister,” Katie cried, “Not in a million years, not for anything.”

They pulled away from each other and Katie had already started to cry. 

“Katie get it together, we will see her again,” Perry joked, “Come her little sis.” She threw her arms around her, “Now don’t go being like me and partying all the time, focus on school and soccer and don’t get in trouble.”

“Sound advice coming from you?” Tobin laughed, “Man this must be a really big deal.”

“Nonsense,” Perry chuckled, pulling away from the hug a tear started to roll down her face, “I didn’t say not to party, just don’t get caught.”

“That makes more sense,” Tobin laughed.

“Now you’re crying,” Katie accused, 

Perry wiped the tear from her cheek, “No, the pollen count in here is insane.”

“You don’t even have allergies,” Jeff cracked as he went up to his youngest big sister, “I’m taking your TV.”  
“What will I watch when I come home?” Tobin protested.

He shrugged the classic Heath shrug, “I don’t know, just like don’t come home I guess.”

“You’re a jerk,” Tobin laughed putting her arms around him, “And I love you.”

“I love you too big sis,” he said softly, “Come home.”

Tobin nodded into his shoulder, “I will.”

Her father walked over, he looked strong, he looked the way she thought he would look with a stern look only softening a bit when he went in for a hug. 

“I’m gonna miss you kiddo,” he said in his deep voice. 

Tobin nodded, “Because I’m your favorite.”

“Exactly,” he smiled, knowing his daughter was making jokes to keep from crying and that was something he could get behind, “Don’t tell the others.”

“Secrets safe with me,” she smiled. 

He put a strong hand on her shoulder, “I love you Tobin. I know you are going to be amazing there. You have no idea how proud I am of you.”

“Thanks dad,” she put her hand to her eye before the tear could fall, “I love you too.”

 

As everyone finished up their goodbyes with their families, the three of them all walked over to the security line and waited for their turn to check in. They were close to the front when Tobin looked over to her family one more time, only this time her mom was standing with them. 

Her heart jumped feeling like it was going to beat out her chest. She took off her back pack and handed over to Meghan as she ducked under the section rope. 

Her mom met her halfway, where no one else could hear them. 

“What are you doing here?” Tobin asked, wishing she didn’t so accusatory. 

“My youngest daughter is leaving for college,” She answered simply. 

Tobin shrugged, looking down, “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Tobin,” she said taking a breath, “I know how you feel, I know how I feel. I know what the Bible says, I know all of this and I know what I am supposed to do. I know what I am being commanded to do, but I can’t. I can’t find it in my heart to not be here for you.”

She was nervous, her hands flipping over in each other as she spoke, this was the first time Tobin had ever seen her mother nervous. 

“So, what now?” She asked in a small voice. 

Her mom shrugged again, “I love you…” she paused for a second, “I love you no matter what. It will be hard, but I refuse to not love my daughter, I refuse to not have a place in your life. You’re my baby girl Tobin, there’s no way for me not to love you.”

Tobin nodded even though it wasn’t what she wanted, it was progress and she couldn’t doubt that, “I love you too.”

“I have a lot of work to do,” she smiled. 

“Yeah, me too.” Tobin looked up matching her smile. She turned around to see her friends already in the screen check, “I have to go.”

She lowered her head knowing it was wall she was going to get from her daughter. “I know, be careful.” 

“I will,” she turned to walk away, but that pull, that tug that only a mom could have on her was too strong, she turned and hugged her mom close, “I love you mom.”

“I love you too Tobin, so much.”

This didn’t solve their issue, this didn’t fix it, but it was the start to what Tobin hoped was a fix. There was nothing she could do about how her mom felt, there was nothing she really wanted to do, all she knew was she needed her mom, even if she didn’t want her, she needed her. She needed that hug, she needed to hear her mom say she loved her, she needed it, and now she could leave, not completely healed, but on her way.

 

—  
2 weeks later  
—

 

Tobin shut the door on her room, throwing her new back pack in the corner of the room and plopping down on the bed. She took out her phone, checking her instagram for a second, before hitting facetime, within a few seconds a pair of blue eyes where looking back at her. 

“Hey babe,” Alex smiled.

Tobin looked at her girlfriend, her skin tan and her hair a little lighter from the sun. “Are you in a bikini?”

“Yeah,” Alex laughed looking down at her attire. She set the phone down and started going through her dresser for a tank top, “A couple girls from the team and I are going to the beach while the water is still warm.”

Tobin leaned back against her pillows, “I thought you were at the beach a few days ago.”

“It’s California babe,” she got closer to the phone, “We are always going to be at the beach.”

She laughed knowing one of the things Alex was waiting for was the ability to be out in the sun all she wanted, “Well, we are all going to hang in the dorms and watch movies, since you know, it’s a little chilly here.”

“Sounds like a blast,” Alex chuckled, going off screen to find her flip flops. 

“It’s no beach everyday, but you know, we enjoy it,” she joked, watching the shadows in the room as Alex continued to be distracted. “I miss you.”

She popped back on screen and smiled, “I miss you too, babe.”

“The game is in a few months,” she said happily, “Then I can go to the beach.”

“The water will be freezing by then,” she went off screen again, this time to shove a towel in the orange back pack, “But I’ll take you to see the coast and all that.”

“Sounds good to me, as long as I see you,” Tobin grinned, though it was only to herself because Alex was still off screen. 

As she was about to say something, a voice called out for Alex, and she went to have a conversation that Tobin couldn’t really make out. She was back on screen in a few seconds all smiles. 

“Hey I gotta go, love,” she said sweetly, but still rushed, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Tobin sat up on the bed, “Yeah, just call me when you get home.”

“I don’t know when I’m coming home, Tobs,” she looked over the phone and nodded her head, “We are going to a party after the beach, so I might not be home until super late.”

“Oh okay,” Tobin lowered her eyebrows, “I’ll call you in the morning then?”

Alex chuckled, not at anything Tobin was saying, it was from someone off camera talking to her, “I’ll call you when I wake up, I love you.”

“Love you too,” she said quickly before Alex hung up and she was left again looking at the screen saver. 

They had been at school for two weeks and already it was harder than she expected it to be. Tobin made ever effort to call and text Alex as much as possible, but it was hard to get ahold of her most days. If she wasn’t in class or at practice she was off with the team doing something so California that Tobin couldn’t even begin to understand. But they had nights, most night, when they could talk and Tobin could hear about her day. It was the first few weeks and Alex was getting her footing, besides Tobin had friends of her own. 

At school, she had settled into her spot on the field, proving quickly why they gave her a scholarship. The team loved her, this new her that actually talked and had no problem fitting in, it helped to have Meghan, Christen and Allie by her side the whole time. The four of them were practically inseparable, except when Meghan called Morgan and Christen called JJ and Allie called whichever boy had a crush on her. 

Her room was nice, a little small, but exactly what she needed. She had her own space with a full sized bed, a perk of being an athlete, they only thing she shared was a bathroom just outside her room. She didn’t need much, having a door to close and be alone was enough. She put soccer posters all around and pinned pictures of her and Alex to the cork board so she could look at them whenever she left the room. On the door was a soccer schedule, a tough one with practices almost every day sometimes twice a day. Her time was filled up with college life, but she still missed Alex. 

 

—  
3 months later  
—

 

Tobin looked ahead on the field, she could see Christen ahead making a run towards the left side of the goal. She looked down at the ball then back up to the defender in the dark blue uniform, she was slow on the right side, she had been all game and this was Tobin’s chance. With a few touches she went left then cut right beating the defender easily. She looked up, Christen was headed right where she needed to be. Without hesitation she launched it, watching it land perfectly in front of her friend who only took three touches to put it in the back of the net. 

Christen ran with her arms out wide, she slammed into Tobin who wrapped her arms around her picking her up. This was the fifth time this season they had connected like this, the two of them seeming almost invisible on the field. The rest of the team piled on them, cheering on the two of them.

“That was amazing,” Tobin said with a huge smile. 

Christen put her hands on Tobin’s cheeks, “You’re amazing.”

Over the last three months the two of them had grown close on and off the field. Meghan left every other weekend to spend time with Morgan, and all the other weekends Morgan was up there, so Tobin didn’t really see her best friend expect in class and practice and sometimes in the dorm. Christen was in the same spot with JJ being so far away and with Allie working over time to get back in shape to start on the field since she decided last minuet to join the team. They spent most of their nights going over homework, watching movies and talking about the girls they loved. 

 

Tobin jogged over to her side of the field, looking over to the center to see her girlfriend. Alex looked more serious then she ever had, they were down by one, now that Christen had just scored, and that meant that Alex wasn’t in the mood to smile and laugh. 

They had been in California for a day, flying in and being moved instantly to the hotel without being able to leave except for the game. Tobin called Alex a few times, excited to be in the same time zone, but they both had practice and film to watch so their conversation was short. By the time she had seen Alex, they were suited up and standing opposite each other on the field and Alex didn’t even acknowledge her. 

 

The game was long, extra time going past five minutes for each half, at the end UNC pulled out with two goals to one. They all lined up to shake hands, Tobin in the middle, wanting so much so just see Alex, even in a high five, she just wanted to touch her hand. 

After they said good game the coach talked to the team, the whole time Tobin looking over to the other team egger to get to Alex. As soon as they were let go, Tobin rushed over to Alex who was standing with a girl with short blonde hair. 

“Lex,” Tobin said throwing her arms around her girlfriend. 

Alex hugged her back, “Hey babe.” She said weakly. 

Tobin let go looking at her, “You okay?”

“No, Tobin, I just lost and I didn’t get one shot on frame.” Alex said coldly, “You’re going to have to give me a second before I’m all smiles and giggles.”

“Okay,” she took a step back, “I guess I’ll see you in a bit after we shower and change.” She looked over to the girl, “Hey, I’m Tobin.”

“Sophie,” the girl smiled holding out her hand to shake Tobins, “It’s nice to see you.”

“Yeah you too,” Tobin said suddenly feeling awkward, “Are you coming to the bar with us?”

She looked over to Alex who seemed more annoyed by the conversation, “Uh yeah, if Lex wants me to.”

“Yeah, of course,” she said with a wave of her hand, “Hey I need to shower I feel gross. I’ll meet you all at the bar.”

Tobin nodded, “Okay, sounds good.”

She took the few steps it took to close the gap between them planting a kiss on Tobin’s cheek. “I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too.” Tobin responded.

 

—

 

Tobin watched Christen put on eyeliner, standing a closer to the hotel mirror than she thought humanly possible. She had been ready for the bar for fifteen minutes, wearing a black v-neck t-shirt and a pair of light blue jeans with rips down the front. She spent the remainder time on her phone scrolling through instagram but not really paying attention to the pictures, she was mostly waiting for Alex to text her. 

“Why do you look so sad?” Christen asked looking over to her friend. 

Tobin looked up at her, “I don’t know, Alex seemed off.”

“She just lost,” Christen laughed, “And today was not her best showing. I’d be pretty pissed too.”

“You weren’t like this when JJ came to UNC,” Tobin scoffed.

She looked over at her friend, “True, but I also had a good game, even though we lost, I had a goal, we just fell short as a team. Besides Alex takes a loss harder than I do.”

“True,” she clicked off her phone sitting up in the bed, “I just miss her and I had this whole thing planned out in my head. We were supposed to see each other and jump in each other’s arms and kiss and everything was supposed to be perfect.”

“I told you not to do that,” Christen scolded pointing her makeup brush at the sad girl, “You got it too hyped up in your head, and it’s not fair. You can’t expect Alex to live up to this big fantasy, especially after a loss like that.”

Tobin shrugged, knowing her friend was right but not ready to admit that she was wrong, “I just miss her.”

“She misses you too Tobs, give her a little bit, I bet she will be all over you at the bar.”

She flashed a smile, “Yeah you’re probably right.”

 

-

 

The group pulled up to the bar, getting out their Uber and looking around for their friends. Tobin’s stomach was doing flips, she had messed up her first reunion with Alex, she didn’t want to mess this one up. She adjusted her hat making sure it sat perfect they way Alex liked it. She looked down at her black converse, the ones Alex called awesome whenever she bought them a few weeks ago. She pulled on the hem of her shirt, Alex liked her in v-necks so she wanted to make sure it looked good. Before she could mess with the rest of her outfit an Uber pulled up and the girls came out. 

JJ was the first one out, instantly running to Christen, lifting her in the air and spinning her around. Tobin looked around for Alex, who came out the other side of the SUV, her stomach did another flip. 

Alex came up to her, putting her arms around her neck and pulling her in for a kiss, the first one they had shared in months. “Hey babe,” she said with a big smile. 

Instantly Tobin felt relaxed, “Hey, you.” That was all she needed to be okay, to remember how much they loved each other. 

They all headed into the bar, grabbing a table, the older girls order pitchers of beer for everyone. Alex sat in the booth with Tobin, running her hand up her thigh and squeezing, the thing that both sent chills up Tobin’s spine and calmed her down at the same time. She had worried for nothing, everything was okay and she could relax.

 

—

 

Alex’s friends were way better than she had described all the times Tobin asked about them. They were all super cool, with tans and sun bleached hair that looked so effortless that it was a little intimidating. Most of them grew up somewhere in California and lived the life of a surfer or a hippie or something cool. They all said dude a lot and dragged out random words in the coolest way. The longer they sat, the more lame Tobin felt, especially since Alex had developed the cool-Cali way of speaking, even call Tobin ‘bruh’ whenever she said something uncool. Before she knew it, they were all a little buzzed and had started sharing stories. 

 

“Lex pretty much ate dirt,” the girl Tobin had learned before her names was Sophie, “She swore up and down that she could skate.”

“I can,” Alex protested, “Tobin taught me.” She slapped Tobin’s shoulder, “Babe, tell them.”

Tobin snapped back into the conversation, “The first time I took her she did really well.”

“See,” Alex laughed slapping her shoulder one more time, “I’m a professional.”

“Woo, I didn’t say that,” Tobin laughed. 

Everyone started to crack up, which made Alex give her another shoulder slap before cupping her face and bringing her down for a kiss. No matter how uncool she felt in the moment, she still had the most beautiful girl on her arm and that always made her cool. 

 

“Tobin doesn’t do anything,” Meghan said after prompted by the group. “She’s always inside waiting to talk to Lex.”

“That’s not true,” Tobin laughed taking a drink, “I go out.”

Allie pointed at her, taking minute to speak because she had just took a big drink, “Whatever, the last time we invited you out, you said no because you wanted to talk to Lex.”

Alex turned her head to look at her girlfriend, “Babe, I thought you hung out.”

“I do.” Tobin said quickly, “Just not as much as they do.”

“Not ever,” Meghan told everyone, “We invited you out last weekend.”

“Yeah, that one was a huge ragger and you turned us down,” Allie chuckled. 

Alex looked over to her, talking lowly, “I thought you said there was nothing going on.”

“Okay, what would you rather do, go to a party that Allie considers a ‘ragger’ or talk to you on the phone,” Tobin said as if it was the simplest problem. “I did it then and I’ll do it again.” She leaned over and kissed Alex’s head, “I’d much rather talk to you.”

“Awe,” one of the Cali girls called out, “She’s so sweet, Lex.”

Alex kissed Tobins cheek, “Yeah, she is.”

 

 

As the night went on, people started out on the dance floor, the alcohol flowing in their veins. Tobin got up to use the bathroom, leaving Alex with Christen at the table. 

“Press, can I ask you a question?” Alex asked. 

Christen pulled her eyes off JJ, “Yeah, what’s up?”

Alex took a sip of her beer, “How often does Tobin turn down hanging out to talk to me? Like a ball park figure?”

“A lot,” she laughed, thinking for a second, “I would say about 99% of the times we ask, she makes an excuse and 90% of those times it’s because she wants to talk to you.”

Alex nodded taking another sip from her glass, “How often do you two talk?” She asked the couple. 

JJ looked over at Christen thinking about the question. “Most nights, even if it’s just a few minutes while we are getting ready to go out.”

“Yeah, she usually calls when I’m doing my make up,” she giggled, clearly more intoxicated than her girlfriend, “But then we talk the next day.”

Again, Alex nodded her head like she was figuring out a puzzle, “How much do you guys text?”

“Few times through out the day,” JJ said simply, “Like to check in and complain about shit.”

“And sexting,” Christen started to crack up covering her mouth trying to keep it in.

JJ pulled her in and kissed her cheek, “Thanks babe, you might be done drinking tonight.”

“You…” she tried to put her finger to JJ’s nose missing completely, “Might be right.”

 

Tobin came back to the table, to her spot next to Alex kissing her on the cheek, “Miss me?”

“Always.” Alex responded. 

 

—

 

Alex went with Christen to the bathroom, the girl needing assistance at this point. While they were washing their hands Christen looked over to see a worried look on Alex’s face. 

“What’s up Lexy?” She slurred out. 

She looked into the mirror her eyes looking at Christen, “I need you to take care of Tobin.”

“I do,” she hiccuped, “Always.”

She turned to her, “No Chrissy, I need you to really take care of her now. You need to be there for her now more than ever.”

“Of course,” she said with a smile, “Why are you so scary?”

Alex shook her head, “Come on, I’ll get JJ to take you back to the hotel.”

 

They walked out the bathroom and found their girlfriends at the table at the end of their current drink. Alex convinced JJ without any effort that Christen was wasted and ready to be back in the hotel. They left the rest of the group in the bar, since they didn’t want to leave just yet, and the four of them headed outside. 

JJ was the only one remotely sober, so she called the Uber as best she could with Christen hanging all over her. Alex grabbed Tobin and pulled her away where they could talk. 

 

“So, are you coming back to the hotel?” Tobin asked, her words heavy in her mouth, “Cause I’m pretty sure Press is going to the room JJ got, so you can sleep with me.”

She smiled, how could she not, after all drunk Tobin was not smooth and it was cute. “Tobin I need to talk to you. I need you to listen.”

“Okie dokie,” Tobin laughed.

“Baby…” she paused taking a deep breath, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Tobin leaned in and kissed her.

“Tobin, I need you to listen.” She said pushing back just a little, “I love you so much but…” again she paused, “I think we need to take a break.”

Suddenly Tobin felt sober, “What are you talking about?”

Alex looked down not able to meet her eyes, not now, “We should take a break.”

“Like right now,” she asked trying to make sense of the phrase, “Like you don’t want to go to the hotel.”

“No I don’t,” Alex said sternly, “But, also, I think we should take a break all together.”

There was no confusion to that, Tobin took a step back. “Why?”

“I didn’t really notice it, not until now, not until everyone was talking about it,” her words were a little jumbled, her brain still trying to make sense of what she was doing. “You call me constantly, you text me non stop, your whole life revolves around getting in contact with me…”

“Because I love you.”

“And I love you,” Alex told her as sincerely as she could, “But you’re not living, you’re not experiencing anything.”

“I’m not missing anything, all they do is party and drink and stuff.],” Tobin shouted. “Alex I love you.”

“Tobin, this isn’t about that,” she said firmly, “This is about your life, it’s about who you are.”

“I’m your girlfriend.”

“Damnit, that’s not fair.” She could feel herself starting to cry, “Tobin you can’t base your life on that. You can’t define who you are based on me.”

“Why?” She sobbed. 

Alex wiped a tear from her face, “Because it’s not fair.” She took a step back, tried to get herself together, “You don’t go out, you don’t hang out, and that’s what you should be doing in college. You should be with your friends having a good time not waiting for me to get out of class so we can talk on the phone. You need to experience college…”

“Then I’ll transfer.” She said simply. 

“What?”

“I’ll transfer,” she shrugged, “The end of the semester, I’ll transfer to Berkeley. They offered me a scholarship once they’ll do it again. Then we can be together, experience college together.”

“That’s not what I am saying.” She huffed.

Tobin took a step towards her, reaching out to hold her hand, “I know what you are saying, you want me to have fun, well I want to be with you, and I can have fun with you, I just need to get here and it will be okay.”

“No, Tobin it won’t.” She pulled her hand away, “I need you to stay at UNC, I need to you go live your life undefined by me. We need to take a break.”

Tobin turned away, the tears starting to burn her eyes as the came out hot against her cheeks. “How long?” She turned back around, “How long, like the semester, or the year, or what? How long is a break?”

“I don’t know,” Alex said softly.

“So it’s not a break, it’s a break up.” Tobin stated, pushing her hand across her face, “You want to break up?”

The words stung. It wasn’t what she wanted. “Yes, I guess so.”

“You guess, or you do?” Tobin shouted. “Tell me now, don’t torture me.” 

She looked up at her, how in the world was she going to do this. With a deep breath she pushed the words out, “Yes, I want to break up.” They burned, like acid up her throat and out into the world.

“Okay,” Tobin said simply, her chest poked up trying to look strong, “Okay.”

She walked over to her friends who had been watching the entire scene. They had stopped the Uber and waited for everything to be over. JJ put her arm around Tobin and lead her into the car. As much as she wanted to, Tobin never looked back. 

Christen, now sober from the events, walked over to Alex, “What the hell?”

“Take care of her,” Alex cried, slamming her back against the brick wall of the bar, “Take care of her, please Chris.”

“What are you doing Alex?” 

She looked up at her, the night sky and the tears making it hard for her to see, “She needs to live, she needs to have a life.”

“She won’t have anything without you.” 

“Yes she will, you’ll make sure of it.”

“You broke her Lex!” Christen shouted.

Alex lowered her head, “I know, but it’ll be okay, and she’ll be happy again, and live, and grow and become who she is meant to be, and then…” she looked over to the car, Tobin’s head against the glass, “Then we can figure it out.”

Christen reached out touching her arm, “Lex, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“No,” she laughed at herself, “But it’s what needs to happen. Chris, she needs to live, not just sit around waiting for me. I love you her too much to do that to her, to take away her college life making her spend all her time in front of a camera when she should be out there, with you guys, becoming Tobin, the real Tobin.”

“The real Tobin needs you.” Christen told her, “And you need her. How are you going to be without her?”

“Busted,” Alex shrugged, “But I’ll do it to make sure she lives her life. That’s more important to me.”

It didn’t make much sense, but Christen wasn’t going to push it, “Okay, I’ll look after her.”

“Thanks Press,” Alex gave a half smile.

Christen looked back at the car, “Do you want me to get you a car or something?”

“No,” she looked over to the entrance of the bar, “I think I am going to get wasted and try to forget that I just broke up with the love of my life.”

“Okay, just call if you need anything,” she said.

Again, Alex nodded not sure of what to do, “Just take care of her.”

“I will,” Christen smiled, going in to hug the broken girl, “Take care of yourself.”

 

—  
6 months later  
—

 

Tobin crashed through the front door, landing flat on her face. She looked up for a second, her eyes blood shot, then looked back at the door and started to laugh.  
   
“The door wouldn’t open,” she cracked up, flipping around and sitting up. She looked up at Meghan who had a smile on her face, “Did ya open it?”  
   
Meghan walked through the threshold and reached down to grab Tobin’s arm, “Yeah buddy, I opened it.”  
   
Struggling to get to her feet, Tobin laughed harder slurring her words, “You’re da besest, dude, super smart.”  
   
“Thanks buddy,” Meghan put her best friends arm around her shoulder and started walking her towards the hallway, “How about we get you to bed?”  
“Now?” the overly intoxicated women shouted, “But, I’m tryin ta live.”  
   
“You can live tomorrow Toby,” Meghan told her, clearly annoyed with the situation, “You need sleep now.”  
   
Tobin hiccupped, holding her hand to her mouth, “Oh no.”  
   
Without hesitation she pulled away from the shorter girl, rushing down the hallway and pushing her way into the bathroom. Allie got up from the couch, irritated for the third time this week by her roommate getting drunk and throwing up.  
   
“How much did she drink this time?” the blonde asked leaning against the wall outside the bathroom.  
   
Meghan ran her hand over her face, she had clearly been drinking too, but wasn’t nearly as bad off as Tobin. “I don’t know, she took a bunch of shots with some girls from the team.”  
   
“This needs to stop,” Allie said simply, “She can’t go on like this.”  
   
“I know,” she leaned her head back against the wall, “She just needs to forget.”  
   
“Not like this, Kling.”  
   
After the Berkley game, after the bar, after Alex left her, Tobin turned into a different person. For a month she cried. She laid in her bed with the blinds closed and cried until she fell asleep. She wouldn’t eat more than a meal a day, she didn’t do anything but go to class and practice. Every time she was out of her room she looked like a zombie, dragging her feet most of the time. It was the coach asking her if she was okay that snapped her out of her sadness, but it didn’t take away the depression. Instead of crying she decided to party.  
   
Alex told her to have a life, to enjoy college, and almost as if it was out of spite Tobin began to drink and party and do everything else that she assumed she was supposed to do in college. It was almost as if she was trying to fit four years into just a few months, like she thought if she drank so many drinks, went to so many parties, laughed at so many jokes, did everything she needed to do, Alex would come back.  
   
Now she was hungover in class and practice and might as well have been the same zombie she was during the crying stage. She was thin, most of her meals were liquid, and if she did eat a solid meal it would be puked up that night whenever she drank. If it wasn’t for Meghan mixing her clothes into her own Tobin wouldn’t have clean clothes to wear. Christen cleaned her room on the weekends whenever Tobin was passed out. Allie woke her up most morning, poured coffee down her throat and sent her off to class. It had been two months of her drinking almost every night, and being blacked out during the weekends. Most nights ended with her in the bathroom, hugging the toilet and crying.  
   
The three roommates, Allie, Christine and Meghan were the only ones who knew what happened and why she was in such a terrible state. They all covered for her, making sure she hydrated the nights before a game, and forcing her to eat before practice. If it wasn’t for them she would be kicked off the team. But taking care of drunk Tobin was getting old, the late nights, the constant worry, picking her up off the floor to get her into bed, waking her up for class and practice, it was too much on all of them.  
   
“Alex!” Tobin screamed.  
   
Meghan looked over at Allie, she had been with Tobin all night, making sure she didn’t go off with anyone. Tobin enjoyed leaving the bar or party and ending up in a secondary location confused and too drunk to communicate where she was. They had turned on find my friend on her phone after the third time of trying to track her down at some frat party. Most of the time someone stopped her from running off, or trying to do anything stupid, Meghan had been on _duty_ for a few hours and she was done for the night, which meant her best friends cries for her ex-girlfriend were now Allie’s problem.  
   
Tobin coughed loudly, flowed by a grown and another cry for Alex. Knowing the sequence of events, Allie took a deep breath and headed into the bathroom.  
   
“Call Alex,” Tobin cried out, “Please, she, she, she blocked me.” She took her phone from her pocket hitting the screen with her finger, “She blocked me… Why?”  
   
Allie kneeled down placing her hand behind Tobin’s head, “You need sleep, Harry.”  
   
“I need Lex,” she cried through broken sobs, “Please call her.”  
   
“Come on, let’s get in bed.” Allie ignored the pleas, knowing it was best to just get the girl in bed, “You need sleep, we can talk tomorrow.”  
   
“Harry…” Tobin cried, her head lowering quickly like she had no control over the muscles in her neck, “Please call her.”  
   
It took all her effort to get Tobin up off the ground enough for her to walk to her bedroom. Just like all the other times, she took off her shirt and pants and tucked her into bed, and just like all the other times Tobin broke down in tears, begging for her friend to call Alex, she begged until she fell asleep. Another night down.  
   
   
Game nights were the only times Tobin didn’t have a drink in her hand. Normally, she drank when she came home when she did her homework, and all the weekends, but never before a game, that was a rule that she seemed to make for herself and actually stick to. The game after Alex blocked her on all social media and her phone number that was the hardest game, and after no one could control her. The roommates all got together and called Alex, questioning why she would block Tobin, and they learned that Tobin had left over three hundred messages over text and social media, and called Alex over one hundred times, they all agreed blocking her was the best move. Ever since, Alex texted them every day to check in, it turned into a regular routine, simple questions with simple answers, Alex making sure Tobin didn’t fall completely off the deep end.  
   
On the field, Tobin hadn’t changed, if anything she got better, her anger fueling her skills. She was happy on the pitch, all smiles and jokes, the only place she felt peace. After the game she would hit the bars with her teammates, only her three best friends knowing the truth.  
   
Tonight was no different, the team won 4-2, Tobin with a goal and two assists. The bar wasn’t packed, but it had enough people to hype up the sad girl, so she drank with everyone, for everyone, and even when no one else would, Tobin drank. As the bar closed down, they dragged her out, into an Uber where she talked to the driver for the ten minutes it took to get to the dorm. She talked all the way into the building and the entire elevator ride. She talked when they got into the room, then all the liquor hit her and she ran into the bathroom.  
   
It was Christen’s turn, so she sat down on the bathroom floor watching Tobin puke into the toilet, still talking, only now it wasn’t so happy like before. After twenty minutes of dry heaves Christen picked her up and brought her to her room.  
   
“Come on Toby, you need to change, you can’t sleep in jeans.” Christen said pulling at the bottom of Tobin’s pant leg.  
   
Like the day before, Tobin collapsed on the bed and started to cry, those deep sobs that hurt her chest, but would never stop. “Why’d she leave?”  
   
Christen shook her head, it was the same question she always asked. Tobin’s drunk brain remembered that Christen had talked to Alex the night of the break up and according to drunk Tobin somehow her friend knew the answer to the mystery question. Each night it was Christen’s job to take care of her, drunk Tobin questioned her, never getting an answer because there wasn’t one to give.  
   
“Chrissy?” Tobin sobbed, her eyes closed, “Why’d she leave me?”  
   
She hushed her, like always. “Let’s just get some sleep Tobin.”  
   
After a few minutes of fighting Tobin to change her clothes Christen finally got her in bed. She set her trash can by her bed in case she still had something in her stomach to throw up, though she didn’t eat much so there was probably nothing but alcohol and stomach bile left. She sat down next to her in bed, waiting for her to fall asleep, if they left while she was still awake, Tobin would try to call Alex, remembering her number was blocked and the cycle would start over again, so they waited for her to pass out.  
   
“Chrissy,” Tobin whispered, reaching her hand up and letting it fall on Christen’s leg.  
   
She looked down at the broken girl, “What’s up Toby?”  
   
Tobin opened her eyes, “I shoulda picked you.” She turned her head flat on her pillow and passed out.  
   
Christen stood up, she could feel her heart ponding in her chest. She reached out, she needed to know what the hell was going on, what the hell she meant. She was about to shake Tobin awake when a hand was on her shoulder. She turned around to see Allie.  
   
“Go call JJ,” the blonde said with a kind smile.  
   
“It’s late there,” Christen sighed.  
   
Allie shook her head, “Go call JJ.”  
   
   
   
   
   
Tobin opened her eyes, they burned, just like every morning. She didn’t remember last night, but she knew that she had been crying, she was always crying. She checked her phone, some girls from the team had texted her, she was tagged in some photos, she missed a call from her dad about an hour ago. All of that didn’t matter, all that she wanted to see was something from Alex, anything, but that would never happen, not anymore.  
   
She got up from bed, throwing on a shirt, one of her friends must have taken hers last night. She grabbed a pair of soccer shorts and stepped into them as she walked out her room. The hall was bright, the light from the windows in the living room lighting up most of the dorm room. Her room was dark, she hadn’t opened her blinds in months, she didn’t like the light, not right now.  
   
The smell of coffee drew her to the kitchen, “Hey,” she croaked out.  
   
Allie looked up at her, “You’re up early.”  
   
“Yeah,” she laughed, “I smelled coffee.”  
   
“You and I need to talk,” she got up from the table and walked over to Tobin who had just poured herself a cup of coffee, “You said something last night.”  
   
She sipped her coffee, letting the liquid warm her, “I say things every night, Harry.” She let out an airy laugh, “You have to be more specific.”  
   
Allie was already pissed off, and seeing Tobin so casual after she had hurt Christen just added to it, “You told Chris that you should have picked her.”  
   
The words smacked Tobin in the face, she shook her head, her eyes wide, “No, I couldn’t, I wouldn’t.”  
   
“Drunk you does whatever she wants,” Allie told her with attitude.  
   
Tobin set her coffee down, “No, I wouldn’t do that.” She took a step back, unable to handle, “I wouldn’t hurt Chris like that.”  
   
“Well you did,” she could see the horror on the girls face, “Now, I need you to look at me.”  
   
Her ears were ringing, but she was able to turn and look at her friend, “I’m sorry.”  
   
“I know,” Allie softened her tone, “This has to stop. We’ve all been dealing with you for months now. No one is taking away from your pain, no one has the right to tell you to feel better or get over it, but honestly Tobin, we are all tired of this shit. We can’t take care of you like this anymore. We can’t watch you destroy yourself anymore. And Harry… I refuse to watch you hurt someone we love.”  
   
Her legs felt like jelly underneath her, there was no way for her to stand so she sat down on the kitchen island stool. “I…” she could feel herself start to cry, “I didn’t mean to.”  
   
“I know,” she whispered.  
   
She looked up at her friend, “I’m so sorry.”  
   
“I know,” she whispered again.  
   
“I… I need help.”  
   
   
\--  
2 years later  
\--  
   
   
Tobin sat in the stands looking out at the empty soccer field. The grass was amazingly green, it was the beginning of the season and they hadn’t played on the game field yet, spending most of their time on the practice field, so the grass was perfect, just the right length, just the right color, one of the most perfect things she had ever seen. She liked to sit in the bleachers, center row, up just a few seats so she could see the whole field. She always sat the day before a game and imagine herself on the field, in her jersey, running down the field with the wind at her back and the ball at her feet. It was peaceful, it was simple, a life that she was living now.  
   
It had been two years since she spent over six months destroying herself, drinking until time went away, crying until there were no more tears. It had been two years of therapy and realizing that she had a problem, there was a sadness inside her and she needed an outlet, something besides drinking to help it go away. Since then she had a session a week, being able to talk about everything she needed to talk about, and she had rediscovered skateboarding, using the sport as a way to get away and just feel peaceful.   
   
Right now the sky was turning that beautiful shade of pink and the wind was blowing making that hot day bearable. It was the end of the real summer, the start of the chilly season, and Tobin’s mind was allowed to wonder as she sat alone. She had but her friends through hell, she was lucky they still wanted to be around her, she was lucky they loved her the way she loved them. The four roommates had spilt in two, with Christen and Meghan sharing an apartment, and Allie sticking with Tobin, not that it made a difference, there apartments were right next to each other and they were always hanging out over one place or the other. It was easier on Christen, sharing a place with Meghan because the shorter girl was usually in Virginia with Morgan, so Christen usually had the place to herself. Tobin enjoyed sharing a place with Allie, the blonde usually left her alone, only making her talk when she really needed it. Tobin didn’t spend much time at home, spending as much time as possible on a skateboard, riding down the street, trying to keep her mind clear, if she wasn’t playing soccer or in school she had headphones on and was cruising down the streets.  
   
“There you are,” a voice called out.  
   
Tobin turned to look at the end of the row, Christen was walking towards her. Over the last two years they had their ups and downs. After she had made that stupid comment, the dumbest drunk comment she could have ever made, Tobin stayed away from the green eyed girl, it was out of shame and disgust with herself, but Christen wouldn’t let her stay away for too long. They talked one night for almost three hours, Tobin finally sober and able to face what she had done, after that they were friends again, maybe closer now than they ever had been.  
   
“Here I am,” Tobin smiled over to her friend, “Are you guys getting ready to head out?”  
   
She sat down next to her, reaching over and taking her hand, it was something she did now, letting Tobin know that everything was okay. The gesture calmed her as much as it did Tobin, it served as a reminder of how fragile the girl sitting next to her was, it reminder her to be calm.  
   
“Yeah, we are about to head out,” she replied, looking out onto the field, “How’s the game going?”  
   
Tobin chuckled, “Pretty well”  
   
“Are we winning?”  
   
“Of course,” she said letting out another laugh, “You and I are unstoppable.”  
   
Christen squeezed the soft hand in her, “You’re not wrong.”  
   
This closeness was important to Tobin, it helped her through the times when all she wanted was to feel numb. Most nights when she sat around watching a movie or just scrolling through her social media feeds, someone would come sit next to her, always touching her in some way, each person in her life reminding her that she wasn’t alone.  
   
“Are you coming out with us?” Christen asked.  
   
Tobin looked out to the sky, the sun almost completely gone past the stadium walls, “Sure.” She replied simply.  
   
They got up together and headed out the stands and into the locker room. In the last few months Tobin gained the ability to go out to bars. She didn’t have a drinking problem, she had a sadness problem and drinking was a solution, but now that she wasn’t sad her therapist told her if she wanted a drink she could have one, still she didn’t drank, she didn’t want to tempt herself, it was better to cut it our completely. When she went out, she drank water or juice and made sure everyone got home safe. Her friends spent over half a year picking her up off the floor, she could spend the next few years driving them home.  
   
 

The bar was quiet, a place they found after they moved off campus. It was perfect, small place with a dance floor if they wanted to dance, pool tables for when Meghan needed a challenge, and a bartender that knew all of them. They sat in their normal booth, center of the bar where they could see everything. Some of the girls from the team were with them tonight, normally it was just the four of them, but it was a celebration of the season starting so more people tagged along.  
   
Tobin sat in dead center of the booth, she was usually sandwiched between her friends, comforted by their presence. Everyone was on their third drink, most of the conversation on the team and how they thought they would play with the new freshman coming on. Tobin was drinking a cranberry juice enjoying the conversation, talking here and there about how she thought the lineup should go.  
   
“Hey look over there,” Tierna nodded over to Meghan, “But be smooth, check out that girl.”  
   
Meghan took a sip from her bottle, then turned her head to see a girl standing in a group at the end of the bar, “The one in the black shirt?”  
   
“Yeah,” she replied, “She’s been looking over here at us. Who do you think she’s looking at?”  
   
“Tobin,” Meghan chuckled, “They’re always looking at Tobin.”  
   
It had been two years of self-care and Tobin had grown into her own. After letting herself get crazy thin in her drinking phase, she took the time to get healthy again. After she got back up to weight she kept going, adding ten pounds of muscle to her lean frame. Her hair was longer and waved out from her no longer straightening it, though she had it under a backwards hat most of the time. She took to wearing her glasses whenever she was just hanging out, only putting in her contacts when she was going to be skateboarding all day or during soccer. Her wardrobe changed to baggy straight cut jeans and v-neck t-shirts, getting away from skinny jeans, since she was skating most of the time. She had turned into this laid back entity, all about peace and tranquility, never letting things phase her, and that attracted women.  
   
“She could be looking at me,” Tierna said confidently.  
   
“Usually, I would agree with you, but today you are wrong.” Meghan chuckled, taking another sip of her drink, “If Tobin is around, you can almost always bet they are looking at Tobin.”  
   
“How do you know?” she questioned.  
   
Christen chimed in, “She clocked Tobin the moment she entered the bar, and since our resident stud here is paying no attention to her, that attention seeker has been trying her hardest to get Tobin to notice.”  
   
“I think you’re wrong.” Tierna sipped from her cup, “I think she’s looking at both of us.”  
   
“Well, you’ll know in a second, because she’s coming over here,” Christen sat back in the booth and gestured over to the girl that was walking up to their booth.  
   
She was pretty, with nice features, a thin frame, and short blonde hair, but not the type of girl Tobin went for, it wasn’t how she looked, but more the way she moved, like she was hunting, and by the look in her eye Tobin was her prey.  
   
“Hey, I’m Nina,” she said with a sly smile, looking directly at Tobin.  
   
“Hello,” Tobin smiled.  
   
She leaned in on the table, “You’re Tobin Heath, right?”  
   
“Uh, yeah,” she replied casually.  
   
“I saw you skateboarding the other day and asked about you.” She said quickly, smiling, trying to look innocent, “My friends said you’re a soccer player.”  
   
“I am,” Tobin replied starting to feel a little uncomfortable.  
   
“So, can I buy you a drink?” she got straight to her point, well the point that would get her to her point.  
   
Tobin shook her head, “Sorry, I’m hanging out with my friends right now. But maybe later.”  
   
The girl reached in her pocket and took out a small pen, stealing the napkin from Meghan’s drink and writing something down, “Here’s my number, call me when you’re ready.”  
   
Tobin took the number, looking down at it then back to the girl, “Thanks, I will.”  
   
They all watched the girl walk away, swinging her hips a little too much as she made her way back to her friends. Tobin set the number down, pushing it away from her as if she needed it far away from her. This had happened a few times before, women coming up to her, talking to her, asking her to leave with them, but she didn’t want to.  
   
Tobin saw women, a few of them, ones that she actually liked, not ones that would try to pick her up in a bar. She spent time between four women, all of them in college, all of them sweet and understanding that she couldn’t and didn’t want to be in a relationship with them. If she wanted contact, that kind of contact, she would go to them, have a good night and leave directly after.  
   
She couldn’t spend the night with anyone, not with people who didn’t know her past, didn’t understand why she hurt. They couldn’t come over her house. When she moved into the apartment she didn’t take much and her room was pretty bare, letting her be free from distractions. She didn’t want anyone to sleep over, she didn’t want anyone to see her routine, that one that had been working for the last two years. She didn’t want them to watch her do one hundred push up, sit ups, and squats the minute she woke up, she didn’t want to explain that it was the reason she didn’t stay in bed all day. She didn’t want them to offer her coffee because she only drank tea, staying away from caffeine as much as possible. She couldn’t explain the simple breakfast, the need to run, the cold showers and everything that came with her new life. Most of all, she couldn’t explain why she had to read her bible every night, why she needed to passage to think about before she could fall asleep. She didn’t want to explain this to anyone, there was only one person in the world that would understand, she could explain it to Alex, and none of those girls were Alex.  
   
She had seen Alex once since the breakup, at the Berkeley game last year, she saw her on the field but she never spoke to her. Alex looked peaceful, she had cut her hair to just above her shoulders and put blonde streaks through it making her eyes bluer than ever, and she smiled more than Tobin had ever seen. To her, to the girl who had been crushed, that meant Alex was happy, and if she was happy that meant she was happy without Tobin, and that meant that Tobin needed to stay clear. So she played the game, left before the handshake at the end, and didn’t go out to the bar with the team. She stayed inside with Christen and JJ, watching a movie, never talking about Alex.  
   
What she didn’t know was that Alex asked about her. Alex was searching for her, wanting to see her, wanting to talk to her, figure some of the things out so they could start talking again. She didn’t know that the reason Alex was so happy was because it was the first time she was seeing Tobin, happy and healthy Tobin, the girl she loved. She didn’t know that Meghan and Allie told Alex to leave her alone, to let her heal, to hold off for a while until Tobin was truly healthy again.  
   
The next year Tobin was called up to play for the U21 National Team which meant she missed the Berkeley game. The thought of not seeing Alex, the one time she really had a chance to, didn’t bother as much as she thought it would. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that Alex was right. She had spent her entire life as a part of something and someone else, defined herself by who she was connected to the most. She was never her own, but part of some whole. The idea never bothered her until she was off at camp, alone for the first time and she realized she didn’t have anyone to fall back on, no one to pick her up if she fell, and she wasn’t afraid. She loved her friends, she loved her family, she loved Alex, but it was time for her to love herself.  
   
   
\--  
   
   
The season was going great, UNC at the top of the rankings, and now they needed travel to California. Tobin sat next to Christen, her headphones on the whole time, her face buried in a book. She was going to back for the first time, and it was the last time, her senior year, the last real time she had an excuse to see Alex.  
   
That night they sat in the hotel room, her friends sensing she needed a little closeness that night, they all laid around watching movies. They spent their mornings in a light practice, something to loosen them up, then a nap before the needed to be in the locker room for the game.  
   
In the tunnel, all suited up and ready to go Tobin looked up at the front of the line, there she was. Alex, a little taller than she remembered, tan skin, her hair back to it’s long length and original brown color, and her eyes, oh those eyes, still blue, still perfect, still able to knock Tobin out. Alex looked at her and smiled, the look Tobin didn’t know she was waiting for, didn’t know she needed.  
   
The game went well, ending in a tie 2-2, which was the best Tobin could hope for. She left before the postgame greeting, her hands too shaky to high five anyone. After shower she headed for the bus and waited, she knew if she hung around Alex would find her and that wasn’t something she was ready for. Lucky for her Allie was ready to go, Christen meeting up with JJ and Meghan wanting to hang out with a few girls from the other team.  
   
She laid on her bed, her headphones on as Allie talked with her new boyfriend over Skype. She was trying to stop herself from beating herself up, reminding herself that it was for the best, when a knock came at the door. Tobin got up and opened the door to the bluest eyes she had ever seen.  
   
“Lex,” she pulled her headphones from her ears letting the rest around her neck, “What are you doing here?”  
   
Alex gave a half smile, “I wanted to talk to you, but you left so quickly after the game.”  
   
“Yeah I uh…”  
   
“Was avoiding me?” she let out a small airy laugh.  
   
Tobin toyed with the headphones on her neck, “No, I uh, I don’t know, I needed to go.”  
   
Allie walked up behind Tobin, opening the door fully to see Alex. She wrapped and arm around Tobin’s waist pulling her in close so she could whisper in her ear, “Are you okay?”  
   
“Yeah,” Tobin answered, when she saw an unsure look on her friends face she leaned in a little and whispered, “I promise, Harry.”  
   
The protective blonde looked over to the girl standing in the hall and gave a little smile, trying to let her know that she wasn’t doing this to hurt Alex but to protect Tobin. She turned back to Tobin, “Call me if you need me.”  
   
Tobin pressed her lips together and nodded, “I will.”  
   
As Allie went back in the room, Tobin stepped fully out and closed the door over, pushing the deadbolt out so she could get back in without a key.  She stepped to the side, leaning against the wall, reaching into her pocket to shut off the music that was still playing softly through her headphones. She waited for Alex to speak, if she remembered anything about the girl, she always had a speech planned.  
   
“How are you?” Alex asked simply.  
   
Tobin lowered her head, she knew that her friends had been telling Alex about her, about the progress, she knew the answer to the question but asked out of politeness. “I’m good. How are you?”  
   
“I’m good,” Alex copied her phrase. “I watched you play for the U21 team last year. Did the senior team call you? I heard a rumor that they called you.”  
   
She nodded, the news she received only a few days ago, “Yeah they want me at camp next week.”  
   
“Good, you deserve it, you’ve worked so hard,” she pushed her hands in her pockets, she was nervous, more than she had ever been, her next words were the hardest to say, “I miss you.”  
   
“Alex…”  
   
“I know.” She interrupted, “I know, I have no right to say that. I left you, I’m the one that walked away, I’m the one who hurt you.”  
   
“You destroyed me,” her voice was low, as if what she was saying wasn’t registering.  
   
“I know,” she looked up at her, “I’m sorry Tobin.”  
   
She had waited for this moment for years, the chance to speak to Alex. In the first stages, her freshman year, the scenario went one way. She would see Alex, and she would tell her that she lived her life the way she was instructed, then she would beg her to take her back. She would get down on her knees and say anything to get the love of her life to agree to be with her again. Alex would feel bad and take her back and they would be in love forever.  
   
The second stage, when she was drunk all the time the scenario was different. She would see Alex and show her how cool she was now. She would tell her about all the women that hit on her, all the women she slept with and show her what she lost. Alex would be jealous and jump on her, kiss her, beg her to make love to her, and of course Tobin would give in and they would be back together and be in love forever.  
   
The third stage, sober but still struggling the scenario had changed. She would see Alex and start to scream. She would tell her how horrible she was, let her know how much she hurt, how she would never be whole again. She would tell her how she destroyed her life, how everything was worse after she left. She would blame her for everything, she would make sure Alex knew exactly what she did to her. She would make sure that Alex hurt as much as she did.  
   
The fourth stage, this stage, acceptance, peace; the scenario was different.  
   
“Tobin, I don’t know how to apologize for how much I hurt you,” Alex cried.  
   
“You don’t have to,” she looked over at her, “Alex you did what you thought was best. You didn’t mean to hurt me, you would never hurt me on purpose. There was nothing you could do about the way I handle all of it.”  
   
Shocked by her words, Alex stood up straight, “I just wanted you to have a life.”  
   
“And I did,” Tobin smiled, something she could never predict. “I had a horrible year drunk and stupid. I had a hard year, sober and sad. I had a great year, peaceful and serine and I am starting this year as happy as I have ever been.” She got up from the wall and walked over to the girl, “I know I scared you, I scared everyone, I hurt a lot of people, and I hurt myself, but I am good now. I never thought I would be this way, I never thought I could ever reach this point, but I have, and I did it with help, but not being dragged. Alex you helped me realize that I was living for others, and I wasn’t living for myself, and now I have found a way to do both, to live for my family, but also for myself. So you don’t have to apologize, you did what was best for you and for me, and even though it hurt, I am thanking you.”  
   
Still in shock, all Alex could do was look up at the girl in front of her. This wasn’t the Tobin that she said goodbye to all those years ago. This wasn’t the Tobin she broke up with outside of a bar, the one that scared her with all the phone calls. This wasn’t even the Tobin that she loved that summer they spent falling for each other. This was a different Tobin, a happier one, a healthier one. She was confident, and brave, and calm, and absolutely everything Alex wished she would be. This Tobin, the one standing in front of her with the biggest brown eyes, and the most beautiful tan skin, and perfect pink lips, this was the Tobin that she wanted to spend her life with.  
   
Without thinking Alex leaned forward capturing Tobin’s lips, putting her hands behind the girls head and pulling her in close. She could feel Tobin kiss back, passion sparking between them, the flame that had been smothered all those years ago ignited again in this single moment. Alex felt like she was floating, she needed to feel her again, she needed to taste her again, she needed Tobin.  
   
In the moment Tobin let herself be taken away, get lost in the kiss, lost in the passion, but that was only for a moment. She pulled away, taking a step back, her eyes still closed, unable to process what happened.  
   
“I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, “I just needed to kiss you.”  
   
Tobin took another step back, “Don’t be sorry.” She opened her eyes, “I think I needed that too.”  
   
There was a moment of silence, neither of them wanting to ruin the moment, neither of them wanting to say what they thought. Tobin could taste Alex on her lips, she could still feel her pressed against her and as much as her body called for her again, her brain finally responded.  
   
“I can’t do this,” she said in an airy voice, “I can’t do this right now.”  
   
Alex took a step back, feeling her back hit the wall, “Okay…”  
   
“Alex I love you,” Tobin surged forward, putting her hand on Alex’s cheek forcing her to look up into her eyes, “I’m not whole, not yet.”  
   
The feeling was too much, “I love you too.”  
   
“I’m finally in a place where I can have peace.” She spoke without breaking eyes contact, “I’m finally finding myself. I’m flawed, still broken in places that no one can see, and if I am ever going to be okay I need to fix it all myself. My body is good but my mind is still a mess. You’re the love of my life and I wish I was stable.”  
   
“Take your time,” She smiled up at her, reaching her hands out to touch the back of Tobin’s. “I have been waiting for you all our lives. I can wait a little longer.”  
   
“I don’t want you out of my life,” she cried in a voice so desperate it scared her.  
   
Alex nodded, rubbing her thumb against her soft skin, “Then we’ll be friends. We can be friends until you are ready for more.”  
   
“Lex…”  
“I’m here,” she turned her head to kiss the palm of her hand, “I’m here and I swear I’m not going anywhere.”  
 

 

\--  
1 year later  
\--  
 

 

“Hey you,” Tobin smiled into the camera, “You ready for tonight?”  
   
Alex looked over into the camera, “Yeah, I’m excited.”  
   
“Who do you think is going to draft you?” she asked as she laid down on the hotel bed.  
   
“I don’t know,” she held the camera up, “Why aren’t you getting ready?”  
   
“I’m ready,” she cried, holding the phone up so she could show off her shirt and pants.  
   
Alex shook her head, “It’s so simple for you, isn’t it.”  
   
“Yeah,” she grinned, “What are you wearing?”  
   
Quickly, she turned up the camera, hiding her outfit, “You’ll see at dinner.”  
   
“Not fair,” she whined a little, “I showed you mine.”  
   
“And I’ll show you mine,” Alex raised her eyebrows, “At dinner.”  
   
Tobin stuck out her lip, giving her best pouting face, “Fine, fine.”  
   
“Let me finish getting ready,” she smiled at the girl with the puppy dog face, “I’ll see you in a few hours.”  
   
“I can’t wait.”  
   
   
The time had they had all been waiting for was finally here, draft day. All the seniors who were eligible for the draft came together to have a big dinner and figure out where they where going to play professionally. Tobin had been waiting for draft day for more than soccer reasons, it was the first time she was going to see Alex since the hotel, since they decided to be back in each other’s lives.  
   
Over the last months of their college lives they talked more than ever. Tobin would text a few times a day, and Alex would text back even more. They called most nights, talked for a little while before they went to sleep. The longer it went on the closer they got, the closer Alex got to her the better Tobin felt. She had figured out her life, she had learned to survive on her own which lead her to the conclusion that she didn’t want to survive without Alex.  
   
   
   
   
Tobin looked across the room, searching for the girl she had been dying to see. She was practically falling over the way she leaned over flipping her head around trying to find her. When she finally laid eyes on her, she almost passed out.  
   
There she was, the most beautiful girl in the whole world. She was in a grey dress, her hair down hanging off one shoulder, a pair of grey heels that made her legs look like they went on for days. Tobin instantly walked over to her, trying her hardest not to drop her jaw as she approached, trying to be a cool as she could.  
   
“You look…” she held out her hand looking Alex up and down one good time, “Absolutely stunning.”  
   
Blushing at the eyes raking over her, Alex lowered her head, smiling as big as she had in a long time, “Thanks, you look amazing.”  
   
Tobin was in a plain white button up shirt, tucked into her black pants showing off her frame, with a pair of black suspenders and the original black converse. She didn’t want to go overboard with her outfit, nothing to flashy, but enough to make sure Alex noticed, that was all the mattered.  
   
“Thanks,” she smiled still not able to take her eyes off the women in front of her, “But you, that dress… I uh… I don’t know what to say.”  
   
This was what Alex had been waiting for. No matter how many people told her she looked nice, no matter how many times she was complimented on the way into the dinner, seeing Tobin speechless was the best feeling in the world. It had been too long since they saw each other in person, too long since she had the ability to be under her eyes, too long since she got a chance to watch her jaw drop, and finally seeing it was as amazing as she remembered.  
   
Alex reached over taking Tobin’s hand, it was warm, just like she remembered. “Thanks Toby, I’ve missed you.”  
   
“I’ve missed you too Lex,” she leaned in to hug her, finally able to think about something other than the dress and the way it flowed off her. When she pulled away she told herself to get it together and talk about something other than that fact that Alex looked amazing, “So are you nervous?”  
   
“A little,” she replied, knowing Tobin was trying to distract herself. “What about you?”  
   
“Nah,” she waved her hand, “It’ll be okay.”  
   
Alex shook her head, the new Tobin was very laid back, even if she was nervous she didn’t show it, “You’re so smooth.”  
   
“Me?” Tobin questioned, her hang across her chest, “No you’re smooth, I mean, that dress.”  
   
“It’s really doing something for you, isn’t it?” she raised her eyebrow.  
   
Tobin looked back at her running her eyes the length of her body, “It’s doing something.”  
   
She leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “We can talk about it after the dinner.” She ran her hand down Tobin’s arm, the exact move that she knew would send her into a frenzy.  
   
“Or maybe we can slip out, talk about it now,” Tobin said a little out of breath.  
   
Alex giggled, taking her hand, “Nope, you go to your table, and I’m going to mine.”  
   
“You should be at my table,” Tobin smiled.  
   
“I’ll see you after,” she let go of her hand and walked away, knowing Tobin was watching her the whole time.  
   
Over the last few months their conversations had gone a little past friendship a few times, Alex always reeling them back in whenever Tobin would make a comment. It was for the best, they weren’t ready for a relationship, for sex, for all of that, but that was a few months ago, and it was now, and Alex was in that dress, and Tobin all of sudden felt very ready.  
   
   
   
Everyone from the park was at the dinner, except Hope who was drafted to Seattle the year before. Throughout the dinner everyone was looking over at each other, making faces, making each other laugh in the most anxious situation they had ever been in. First to the draft was Tobin, picked up by Portland. Everyone cheered as she made her way casually up to the stage to receive her jersey, complete with the number 17. She wasn’t shocked, she had been in talks with the team for months, something she wasn’t able to tell anyone until now. Next Christen was drafted to Chicago, Morgan went to Houston, Sam to Boston, and Lindsey to North Carolina. Tobin sat looking over to Alex who seemed calm as ever. Seattle traded their first round pick to Portland, and finally Tobin figured out why Alex was so calm, the Thorns drafted her and everyone cheered as Alex got her jersey the number 13 and her last name proudly on the back.  
   
The second round, Meghan went to Houston, Tobin was sad and happy at the same time. She wished Meghan would have gone to Portland with her, but she needed to be with Morgan so there was no way for her to be too sad for her best friend. Chicago choose Julie, later Tobin learned that the deal had been in the works for a few days, Julie making sure she got on the same team as Christen. It turned out that Seattle had traded their first round pick at a chance to get Allie, after they called her that morning and told her to be patient during the draft. Before the end of the day the whole park crew had been split up, but no one was upset about not being together, after all they were all going to play pro, and they would all see each other at games.  
   
   
The group all met up after the dinner and agreed to go to the hotel to change before heading out to a bar for the night.  
   
Tobin was outside her room, after changing into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, her new signature look. She was about to text Alex when the girl she was looking for came down the hall.  
   
“Hello,” Tobin smiled, pushing her phone into her pocket, “I was just about to text you.”  
   
“I was just about to knock on your door,” Alex laughed, “Looks like we both wanted to talk before the bar.”  
   
Tobin leaned her side against the wall, “Looks like it.”  
   
Alex got close to her, reaching out and grabbing her hand, “Are you excited about Portland?”  
   
“I’m excited about you.” Tobin flashed a smile.  
   
This was the second time in the night she blushed under the gaze of Tobin Heath, “I’m excited about you too.”  
   
“Lex,” Tobin said in a low voice, her eyes dark, “I’m ready.”  
   
Alex had been waiting on those words for months, for years, her whole life, but she needed to be sure, she needed to make sure Tobin wasn’t rushing this in the moment.  
   
“Tobin…”  
   
“No,” Tobin stood up straight, taking a step forward, “Lex, I told you that I needed time to figure myself out, to be who I am supposed to be, well I figured it out. I know I had a hard time in the past, I know I scared you, but I’m standing here now stronger than I have ever been. I know who I am, I know what I want, I know who I want. I’m stable, and I can do this, I want to do this.”  
   
That was all she needed to hear, Alex surged forward capturing her lips, putting as much passion as she could into this first kiss. She could feel Tobin’s arms wrap around her waist pulling her in closer, and she knew this was it, the first kiss that would start the rest of her life, the rest of their lives.

 

   
\--  
1 year later  
\--

 

Tobin sat with her headphones on, her eyes closed. She could smell the faint scent of sweat mixed with body spray, she could feel the heat in the air. When she opened her eyes she watched the girls run around the locker room. Christen was across dancing with Allie to a song Lindsey put on to get everyone pumped. Meghan was off to the side talking with Hope, Sam and JJ, more than likely about defense and how they were going to run it. And just off to the side Alex was sitting with Morgan, both of them watching their teammates dance, laughing at how bad they were all doing. This was the scene she loved to watch, all her friends, the girls she considered her family all in their element.  
   
Her life had changed over the year, she was separated from most of her friends, but she had Alex. They moved to Portland and got an apartment together, and things were going better than she could have hoped. She was calm, happy, and more in love than she ever had been.  
   
A woman came into the locker room, looking serious and saying words that Tobin couldn’t hear, but didn’t really matter because she knew she was telling the team to get ready. It was time to go to the tunnel, line up and walk out onto the field. It was the first time she was walking out with all her friends, the first time they were going to experience this together and everyone seemed to be buzzing, but Tobin, the veteran, was calm, cool and ready to go. 

She watched everyone rush out the doors and start getting ready. Taking off her headphones, Tobin went to put everything in her bag. As she was setting her phone down, someone jumped on her back. She turned to see Allie smiling.

“What’s up Harry?” Tobin laughed. 

“Dude, you ready?” Allie called out, she was all hyped up. 

She jumped on Tobin one more time causing her to drop her bag, a small black box falling from the front zipper. 

Allie looked down at the box, “What the hell is that?”

“Nothing,” Tobin rushed to pick up the box, “Don’t worry about it…”

“Harry!” Allie shouted looking down at the box, “Let me see.”

Knowing there was no way for her to get out of this, Tobin looked around to make sure they were alone before opening to box and revealing a silver claddagh ring, the hands holding a diamond heart. Allie gasped holding her hands to her mouth to try and keep quiet. 

“What do you think?” Tobin asked, now a little shy. 

She reached out and put her hand on her friends shoulder, “I think it’s about damn time.” She pulled the nervous girl in for a hug, “And the ring is absolutely beautiful, she is going to love it.”

They broke apart, Tobin shutting the box and placing it back in her bag.

“Now, let’s go kick ass and win this game,” Allie said doing a little jump, “The we can get engaged.”

Tobin shook her head, a smile on her face, “Why is it always _we_ with you?”

“Because you’re my little sister, your happiness is my happiness.”

“I’m older than you.” She chuckled. 

“In time, but not in wisdom.”

They walked out the locker room and into the tunnel together, when Alex approached them Allie had to cover her mouth to keep from squealing, then walked away to let the couple have their pre game moment. 

Alex watched her friend walk away, stranger than usual, but then turned to her girlfriend, “You ready?”

“With you by side, I’m always ready,” Tobin grinned, taking her hand.

 

—  
20 years later  
—

 

The sun was shinning through the curtains, which meant it was morning, and even though Tobin was still tired, it was about to be time to get up. She flipped around in bed, laying on her side, looking at the women that she had fallen asleep with for over twenty years. She was beautiful, her dark brown hair, now a little short, a few strands of grey that she now refused to dye because she was _accepting her age._ There were creases at the corners of her eyes, laugh lines around her mouth, all symbols of a life well lived. 

Whenever Tobin looked back on it, the time they had together, the life they created all she could do was smile. Her entire life, even the time they spent apart, even the times when they were angry or worried, it was all worth it, for every single smile, for every single laugh, for every single moment when she got to wake up and Alex was there laying next to her. 

Tobin reached out to touch her shoulder, wake her gently they way she had done for years, when there was a sharp pain in her back and a loud shout.

“Mama!” A tiny voice called out, “You awake?”

“You got me right in the kidney baby girl,” Tobin coughed out, turning to grab her daughter, “Why are you awake so early, little one?”

The little girl bounced on the bed a few times with Tobin holding on her as she laughed. She had long brown hair that came down in loose ringlets, tan skin and the brightest blue eyes in the world. Not only did she look like Alex, but she had the same bubbly personality that always made Tobin smile. 

“TJ is in the back yard,” she said with a little frown. 

Tobin looked over to Alex who was now wide awake from all the commotion, “TJ is in the back yard.” She said in a low voice. She turned back to the little girl, “How long has she been out there?”

She shrugged her little shoulders, a habit she got from Tobin, “Aiden said if I asked you would make pancakes.”

“Did Aiden say that?” Tobin asked wide eyes, “Well I guess I have to make pancakes.”

She cheered throwing her hands in the air and jumping off the bed rushing to the hall. 

Alex sat up in bed, “Ava, sweetie, don’t run.”

Just like her mom, the little girl was able to stop on a dime, she turned and flashed a smile before walking (practically still running) down the hall and down the stairs. 

Tobin laid flat in bed, her arms out stretched, “She got me right in the kidney?”

“It’s just one kidney,” she joked, leaning over to plant a kiss on her wife’s lips, “It’s worth pancakes.”

“Uh, you can sell a kidney for like twenty grand on the black market, babe. I don’t think that’s worth pancakes.”

“I think you’re daughter would beg to differ,” Alex chuckled as she got out of bed. She grabbed a pillow and tossed it at Tobin, “Let’s go, we have mouths to feed.”

 

Tobin walked down the hall, still yawning from the early morning. She looked at the pictures that lined the stairway walls, all the photos of her family that she held dear. She was proud of their home, the one they built together, even the whole in the bottom of the stairs from her daughter kicking a ball down the steps, she needed to that patch up. She walked into the kitchen, her youngest daughter sitting on the high stool that overlooked the kitchen bar counter, her tiny hand gripping a red crayon as she scribbled on a sheet of paper. She looked over to the sliding glass door, a girl with light brown hair was kicking a soccer ball at the fence, her middle child, all hers, out there practicing the way Tobin had always done. She walked over to the fridge and reached up to ruffle the jet black hair of her son, who was now officially taller than her. 

“How long as TJ been in the back yard?” She asked as she started to pull bowls from the cabinet. 

He turned from the fridge handing her a carton of eggs, “About an hour, she woke us up.” He shrugged, the motion becoming a Heath family trait. 

Her only son was tall with shaggy hair he decided to grow out about two months ago, no doubt because some girl told him it looked nice. He had bright blue eyes, the way his biological mom had, but he was shy and quiet the way Tobin was.

“Let’s make breakfast, then I’ll go get her,” she told the older boy. 

“She practices too much,” Ava said casually, she had a way of saying things off hand just like Alex. 

Tobin leaned over the counter and looked at the scribbles on the paper, “Practice makes perfect kiddo, but we shouldn't practice ourselves crazy.”

The young girl looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, “Pretty sure TJ is already crazy.”

Tobin shook her head and chuckled at the nonchalant way her daughter liked to explain things. Her family was the perfect combination of both her and Alex. They decided to have their son sixteen years ago, biologically Alex’s son, but he picked up the mannerism and temperament of Tobin. A few years later they decided to have another kid, this one being Tobin’s, and she was the exact copy of her mom, now thirteen years old, all nerves and anxiety. It was six years later that Alex told Tobin she wanted one more kid, and that’s when they had Ava, a ball and a half of energy and her mom through and through. 

 

After breakfast was set down on the table Tobin went outside the the backyard, watching her daughter try to kick the ball in the air and over her head. She walked down the deck steps and waited for her to attempt the trick one more time before stopping her. 

“Hey, come on in and get some breakfast,” she said softly. 

The girl turned around, her skin tan from hours in the sun, her eyes a bright brown and full of worry. “I can’t get the rainbow kick down.”

Tobin took a step forward putting her foot on top of the ball, “It’s a hard trick to get down. You’ll get it.”

She shook her head, “I should have it down by now.”

“Why do you think that?” She asked concerned about the worry in her daughter face. 

Her head lowered she took a breath, “I’m Tobin Heath.”

Hearing her name said out loud with bite made Tobin sad, she never wanted that to be her daughters life, living as a memory of her, all she ever wanted was for TJ to love that game the way she did.

She took a step forward and put her hands on her daughters shoulders, “Hey, you can’t do that to yourself TJ,” she said calmly, not really sure what to do, “These skills aren’t easy, it takes time, and you have time. Don’t let these things overwhelm you.”

“Yeah but…”

“No buts,” Tobin said with a smile, “I’m Tobin Heath too, and it took me a while to figure out how to do that. You will get it, I promise.” She gave her a gentle shake making sure she smiled, “Come in and eat pancakes with your family, then we can work on the kick before practice.”

TJ looked up at her mother, in a way that reminded Tobin so much of herself, “Okay, thanks mom.”

“You got it kid.”

 

—

 

It was the last days of summer and the small town in Portland was buzzing with young kids trying to find their way onto a soccer team. Over the years the soccer town had turned into the place to be if you were a youth soccer player looking to make their way on to the national teams, and just like everyone else Tobin was driving her kids to tryouts. 

“Are you taking TJ to the girls teams?” Alex asked looking down at her phone. 

Tobin nodded her head, then realized her wife was not watching her, “Yeah, I’ve got her, and you can take Aiden and Ava over to the south end.”

“Okay, I’m talking to Moe right now, she’s going to be on the over with Jessi on the girls team, and Kling is going to the east end with Tanner, so we are all going to meet up after practice in the center.” Alex said still not looking up from her phone. 

It was better to just agree whenever Alex was making plans so Tobin answered simply, “Can do, babe.”

Alex finally looked over to her wife and cracked a smile, “I love you.”

Tobin turned to her, “Love you too.”

 

After they parked Alex waisted no time getting her son and youngest daughter out the car and ready to go to the other end of the fields, but not before giving her oldest daughter a hug and telling her to breath. 

Tobin grabbed her daughters bag and walked with her down to the north end of the field where the twelve through fourteen year olds were practicing. She stayed quite as the young girl put on her cleats and shin guards, most of the time they had an unspoken bond, both of them needing to think more than they needed to talk. 

“You can do this,” Tobin said with a big smile as she jumped up.

TJ nodded, still looking as nervous as she did before, “I hope so.”

“I know so,” Tobin assured her, “Go kill it kid.”

 

TJ ran out onto the field instantly connecting with one of the shortest players on the pitch. She received the ball that was kicked in her direction trapping it with her foot then sending it back. 

“So I found some cool videos last night,” the shorter girl started the conversation without any prompting they way she always did with her best friend, “You wanna come over and watch tonight?”

“Sure,” she shrugged, “You know if I’m not dead after this.”

“Dude, you put too much pressure on yourself,” she shook her head. 

TJ kicked the ball back, “I have to be great, Kling, look who my moms are.”

“Look who mine are,” she laughed, “You don’t see me freaking out.”

“That’s because your spot on the line is pretty much in the bag,” she kicked at the grass, “I have to work for a spot on mid.”

“You should be up front,” she told her before sending the ball back, “You’re so fast.”

“I’m Tobin Heath,” she said exaggerating her last name, “I’m a middy, its in my blood.”

“I think you’re a crazy person.”

Before she could respond, a second ball hit her in the side. She looked down at the ball then up to see who kicked it. Running towards her was a girl with long black hair and long legs that seemed like they never stopped. 

“Heath, are you going to send the ball back?” The girl laughed.

TJ looked down at the ball, then up at the girl, she was frozen. Luckily her best friend was always there to back her up, running over to the ball and kicking it back. 

“Sorry Taylor,” she called out. 

The girl stopped the ball with her foot, “Thanks Kling.” She turned and ran back down the field. 

Just like every other time TJ watched the girl run away without saying a word. There was no way for her to speak, not in front of Taylor Solo, there was just no way in the world she could ever get enough air in her body to ever say anything to her. 

“Did I look like an idiot?” She looked over to her best friend. 

Jessie raised her eyebrows, “I mean, no more than usual.”

She reached over giving her a shove, “Thanks friend. Let’s just go back to warm ups.”

 

All the players were split into groups for their position leaving TJ alone with the other midfielders as Jessie went with the defenders. This was the worst part of practice, standing with a bunch of girls she was supposed to be friends with, but had no idea how to talk to. All of them were the daughters of players that her moms knew, but TJ just didn’t have it in her to talk to them, to get them to like her, not that they made much effort with her anyway. Most of the time she just watched them talk, wishing she could chime in, but also happy that she wasn’t require to give her opinion of things that she didn’t really care about. For now she was okay just standing. 

“So does the J in your name stand for junior.” 

Someone was standing behind her. “No,” she replied not turning around.

“I just know your name is Tobin, like your moms.” She voice said casually, “I figured you were Tobin Junior.”

“No,” TJ said confused, then turned to see a girl behind her.

The girl was tall, with long wavy hair pulled back into a long pony tale. She had brown skin that matched perfectly with her bright green eyes, and if it wasn’t for the worried look on her face TJ would have sworn she was part of the confident group. 

“It stands for Jerri,” she explained to the girl, “It’s my aunts name.”

“Ah,” she said with a nod, “Not as funny, but cooler.”

TJ chuckled a bit, “Who are you?”

“I’m Skyler,” she said as if it was the most obvious answer, when TJ gave a confused look, she finished, “Skyler Press-Johnston I go by Preston though, sounds cooler.” She waited for a response but she was obviously not going to get one. “I went to school with you in the third and fourth grade, then my family moved to Sweden, now we’re back.”

“Oh, cool.” She felt bad for not remembering. She was about to ask about everything when a ball hit her in the same spot as before. She turned to see Taylor running towards her. 

“Hey Heath,” The girl called out, “Are you gonna send it back?”

TJ looked down at the ball, this was her chance, “Sure,” she called out then kicked the ball back towards her. 

“Good looking out.” Taylor responded before turning to run back to her group.

She turned to the girl she had just met, “Did I look like an idiot?”

“I don’t think so,” Skyler chuckled, “Why? Do you think you looked like an idiot.”

“I always think that,” she huffed, “Especially when it comes to Taylor Solo.”

“Why?” She asked looking over to the girl in question. 

TJ looked over at the group of strikers all of them laughing about something Taylor had said. 

“She’s beautiful, and tall, and funny, and perfect.” She said lightly not wanting anyone else to hear how she felt. “Taylor Solo, is like amazing and popular, and I’m like a dork.”

Skyler took a step forward lining herself up with TJ, “Some girls think dorkiness is cute.”

“Not her.” She laughed, “She only dates popular girls.”

“And you’re not popular?”

“Not even close.” She laughed again. 

Skyler nodded, “Well I wouldn’t worry about it. Sounds like she’s missing out.”

TJ looked over to the girl, she noticed the strand of hair she had missed putting up, she noticed the way her eyes were a little grey in the sunlight, she noticed her smile. 

“Have we talked before?” 

Caught a little off guard, Skyler shrugged, “I don’t think so. I mean maybe in passing.”

She looked back out onto the field. “I feel like we’ve talked before.”

“Yeah me too,” she smiled.

 

Tobin looked out onto the field, watching her daughter talk to the girl that was almost a carbon copy of Christen. She couldn’t help but think that maybe this was her life playing out over again. She sat happily, the wind blowing on her face, the smell of fresh cut grass in the air, the sound of soccer balls cracking against cleats. For most of her life she thought she was happiest on the field, kicking the ball into the net, but right now as she watched her daughter get ready to start a play, as she looked down the field to see her wife swinging her youngest daughter in the air, her son taping his keeper gloves on his hands, she knew she was the happiest she had ever been. Her life wasn’t about all the years playing professional soccer, it wasn’t about her job as the national team coach, it was about these moments right now. All those years ago, when her father explained that life was a puzzle and the more pieces you had the more complete you felt, this was the moment when she realized he was right. All her friends were in the park watching their kids start their soccer journey the way she was. Sitting here, with her family was surrounding her, she was complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this story the first month I was away from my family, it's been more than a year in the making and I am so happy to have finished and to have put this out there. Everyone's comments have been so great and encouraging and the fuel that led me to keep writing. 
> 
> This story helped me face a few things about myself, when the split happened, and Tobin went with Alex or Christen, I thought I was going to explode, having to write 20k+ words for each update, but I'm glad it happened, it made me a better writer.
> 
> I hope everyone got something from this story, I hop it helped or served as a distraction, or just gave you a little of what you wanted or needed. 
> 
> I have another story already up that I need to get back to, but it's time to take a short break and hang with my family for a bit.
> 
> thank you so much for all the support and love.
> 
> "Don't give up Riley... Chase Her."

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think. 
> 
> Feed my ego, please!


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